A married guy saying hi

[fschmidt]

I'm allergic to America women.  Luckily, I have been happily married to a Mexican woman for 19 years now.  When I was younger and single, I had horrible experiences with American women.  So in 1988, I got in my car and drove to Mexico.  I had no idea what to expect except that I couldn't imagine any place worse than America for women.  And I was right.  I settled in Laredo on the Mexican border and soon after met my wife.  We married in 1990.

Since then I have gone out of my way to avoid American women.  I worked in Japan for a year.  I lived in San Francisco for a long time, first in a gay neighborhood and then in a Chinese neighborhood, both relatively free of American women.  I now live in El Paso which is mostly Mexican.

I am interested in this forum for two reasons.  One is to help any guys interested in Mexican women since I know a little about this.  I don't have a dating service or any interest in making money on this, but I can offer some advice and I would even consider helping guys look for women in Northern Mexico.  I lost three friends because of American women (one went crazy, one suicide, and one in prison), so I feel strongly about helping men avoid American women.  My other interest is to discuss what those of us who have found foreign wives can do to protect our families from the evil influences of feminism.  I would like to post occasionally about this in the Off-Topic forum.

[af1]

     Hi fschmidt,

              My mom is Mexican and my dad is from the US.They have been happily married for many years.I don't know if it is due to the fact that she isn't from the US.

[InnocentVixen]

Welcome fschmidt as a mexicana all I can say is THANK YOU, it often crosses my mind that once I find the right man women close to me, family/friends may see what they are missing and start to show more interest to find a husband outside of Mexico and I of course will be glad to help out if I can.

[utopiacowboy]

I would like to pose a question to both Fschmidt and InnocentVixen. In my experience, most Mexican women do not seem interested in a gringo for a mate. Do you think this is actually true or just my limited experience?

[fschmidt]

In my experience, most Mexican women do not seem interested in a gringo for a mate.

Where does your experience come from?  From internet dating, from Mexicans in America, or from visiting Mexico (where?)?

I dated 20 years ago, so I am not sure how relevant that experience is now.  20 years ago, Mexican women were interested in American men.  My guess is that they still are but Americans are less of a novelty now and Mexicans in big cities and tourist areas have been exposed to some of the more obnoxious American tourists which is a negative.  So I suggest traveling to small Mexican towns with few tourists where you will be novelty and where word will spread quickly that you are looking for a serious relationship.  (And of course you should speak Spanish.)  I don't think an American man would have any trouble finding a nice woman in Mexico this way.

[Jeff S]

Not sure where you've gotten that either U/C. I've been traveling to Mexico extensively over the past 35 years on both business and pleasure, plus run factories in the US that were filled with Mexicanas, and every single one I've gotten to know were very interested in meeting gringos. As fschmidt said, you may get met with plenty of skepticism in border town and tourist traps because of ugly American touristas, but I'd wager there are way, way more Mexicana -Nortemericano mixed couples than from any other Latin American country.

[Jamie]

In my experience, most Mexican women do not seem interested in a gringo for a mate. Do you think this is actually true or just my limited experience?

I didn’t experience any resistance from Mexican women while living in Southern California. Can't speak for those living in Mexico, but would doubt there would be a difference.

[InnocentVixen]

I think I've mentioned this before, the interest is there we are just a bit shy when it comes to making the first move, specially with americans! it is not often we hear of an american man looking for a mexican wife, a lover? sure that is pretty common, so that is the first impression girls might get from you in some places, but if it was a small town and word was out that you are looking for a serious relationship... now that would be a different story.

Also girls over here would feel much more comfortable meeting someone through friends/family no matter how charming you are, otherwise some might think you are not serious.

I've been talking about this with an old family friend, she told me back in her days (30-40years) it was not rare to find an american in Tijuana looking for a wife, but as the city got more dangerous they stopped looking, it was easier to find one in the states, also mexican families where more careful with their daughters because they had some ... tratantes de blancas? (translation?) around.

In fact did I ever mentioned mom was being courted by an american back when she was single? she thought he was handsome but the guy did not speak a word of spanish so she never accepted a date...

[michaelb]

... tratantes de blancas? (translation?) around.

White slavery, tricked or forced into prostitution....I think that's what you mean?

[utopiacowboy]

Living in South Texas, I know plenty of couples where one of the partners is Mexican-American and the other is not. It is not unusual at all. Of course you're also talking about a place where many Mexican-Americans can no longer speak Spanish and follow American football far more avidly than futbol (soccer).

I had a Mexicana girlfriend from Leon for a while and traveled to Mexico to see her but whenever I was there, I never had the Brad Pitt (or in my case George Clooney) feeling you get in Colombia. In Mexico, you're just another guy on the street and I never experienced the kind of intense interest you get in Colombia from the women. Originally when I put my profile on amigos.com, I was looking for someone who lived close to me across the river in Mexico but I got far more interest from Latinas farther afield, usually in South America.

[InnocentVixen]

thanks michaelb, yes that is what I meant, girls tricked/forced into prostitution.

and UC is right, the Brad Pitt effect is the exception, not the rule over here... but do you really need to feel that way on the street? I don't see what's wrong with being treated as a normal human being, wouldn't that mean if someone is interested is because they are genuinely interested in you as a person? once in a relationship you will get the king treatment and that is for the rest of your life if you end up married with the woman you love! then again to each their own 

I guess the way we show interest is too different to compare to Colombia and some men might mistake it with lack of interest, the thread "the rules" comes to mind and again, FT wife.

[Jason1]

   I have experience in Mexico and Colombia with and without agencies.There is some difference in how women show interest but they are approachable in both countries.Latin women I have known will let you know if they are available.Latinas are the best at flirting, hands down!

[osteve]

      This is true Jason.

[utopiacowboy]

thanks michaelb, yes that is what I meant, girls tricked/forced into prostitution.

and UC is right, the Brad Pitt effect is the exception, not the rule over here... but do you really need to feel that way on the street? I don't see what's wrong with being treated as a normal human being, wouldn't that mean if someone is interested is because they are genuinely interested in you as a person? once in a relationship you will get the king treatment and that is for the rest of your life if you end up married with the woman you love! then again to each their own 

I guess the way we show interest is too different to compare to Colombia and some men might mistake it with lack of interest, the thread "the rules" comes to mind and again, FT wife.

Good response.

[bcc_1_2]

 One is to help any guys interested in Mexican women since I know a little about this.  My other interest is to discuss what those of us who have found foreign wives can do to protect our families from the evil influences of feminism.  

You'll definitely find people to talk about feminism. Mexico discussion is not popular here. I am personally high on Monterrey. But a "mature" man in the barrio antiguo... at say Cafe Iguana is not going to get attention and will feel out of place. A visit to avenida sexta (Cali, Colombia)and they are popular with the young ladies.

Young, decent looking, educated/have a job, polite, Americans are quite welcomed by young mexican ladies. IV noted some reservations mexican women have, but then again there are plenty of party girls on the opposite end of the spectrum.

But the stereotypical gringo would not have much success in Monterrey. Grandpas can't get college girls or young professionals in Monterrey. Generally speaking...

I will say this... when my cousins graduate from high school.. I'm taking them to Monterrey to see the promised land for themselves.