My Colombian Angel

[kevindavies]

Hello Everyone,

I've been trawling websites in the hope that I could find someone or something uselful to help me with a situation I'm in at the moment.

I'm a 34 year old guy from the UK and I've been conversing with a girl from Bogota for the last couple of weeks and have become completely smitten with her talking for five or six hours a day ( till 3am british time in most cases ) and she tells me she feels the same. I just want to be able to hold her in my arms and if possible to take her away from her life which she's a little reluctant to do.

The more we talk and see each other the deeper the conversations gets and because of this I've decided to travel to see her. From a man that has never travelled abroad alone before I'm now considering travelling from the UK alone to meet her in Bogota ( or as soon as my finances allow)

Reading the various pages here it seems that a either a lot of people are quite negative ( maybe for valid reasons ) about this situation or it's me being totally naive. Also I don't want to be seen as a perv travellig over there just for the girls. If i had my choice she'd be coming home with me.

Also i'd be intersted to know about colmbian families and how they would react to finding out about me and the possibility of her coming to the UK and how the land lies with imigration.either me staying in Colombia or her coming to the UK

Thanks In Advance

Kevin

[william3rd]

Cart before the horse.

go see her and let nature take its course.

There is nothing wrong at all with seeing one girl. That way has worked for me. You do not need a back up plan if you have the right girl in your sights.

If it feels right, then go meet her.

[Quixote9]

1. Slow down.  Rushing into this is a bad idea, and will probably either scare off your chica (if she has a good head on her shoulders) or lead you into a disasterous situation (if she is a bad girl)

2.Have you even met her in person?  Take her home after first visit? Craziness! No No NO! Not sure about law in the UK, but I'd be this isn't even a possibility, but it should not even be on the table at this point.

3. "Take her away from her life"... I hope you do not plan to "rescue" her.  Her life should continue no matter who she is with and where she lives.  It will not begin or end based on her relationship with you, neither should yours based on your relationship with her.

4. Just meet her in person. Spend time with her. Go home happy. Come back to visit her. Rinse, wash, repeat!

5. Always have a backup plan.  It might not be to meet other girls, but it should at least involve alternative plans if you spend the rest of your vacation alone. 

[sean126]

Your falling into the trap that many of us have....wishful thinking, hoping she's the person we've built her up in our mind to be, hoping she's exactly like she seems on the telephone and on the webcam, ect....It's not uncommon that this is not the complete case.  They very well may be like that, for the few hours you talk to them....but they also have "different sides" that you haven't seen yet and can't possibly know until meeting her in person and especially when you two finally live together.

Yes, your a little naive'.  Internet relationships are a form of a "fantasy" relationship.  In my opinion it's not real, until you two meet in person.

Going all that way and paying all that money is a bit risky for you.  Sir William The Old is a stud, so the odds were in his favor when he went to go meet just one woman thousands of miles away.  But for the rest of us, especially for guys like Researcher, Myself, Bad, Quixote, BCC ect....it would be an even bigger risk.  (just joking fellas  )

Sir William The Old and Quixote gave good advice.  Quixote has recently been in the trenches learning valuable lessons and Sir William The Old....well, he's just wise because he's so old and has probably seen it all by now.

Good luck to you. 

[Jeff S]

I agree with Quixote - rescue a damsel in distress and you end up with a distressed damsel. Your job isn't to lift anyone from misery to enlightenment, it's to find another enlightened soul who is in sync with your own. Slow down take your time - YES hold her in your arms but don't bundle her in your arms and expect the angels to sing and fireworks to go off. Maybe it will, but wait and find out for sure.

I also agree with William - there's nothing wrong with taking off and visiting one girl. I did and that was 23 years ago - we still hold hands when we walk anywhere together and just this evening had a sunset dinner together and told each other how much we appreciated whet we both did for each other.

[zoomastermo]

I am no expert by any means, but I can say I have seen this happen first-hand.  And, unfortunately, it was with me.  Meeting a woman, getting to spend significant time with her and both of you seeing all sides of each other, that is when you really discover not just who she is but whether the two of you are a good fit.

[Researcher]

          Kevin,
             All good advice here.I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.If you are waiting for your finances to allow you to go then you probably can't afford to date women all over the globe one at a time.Have you seen this woman yet,via webcam?


              Researcher

[dennislevy]

Ditto what everyone is saying.

Some people get lucky, WOVO (wrtie one visit one) and it works, but its the exception. 
If there is too much difference between your values, it also won t work.

Also if your plans are nebulous for visiting Bogotya, youre not beign realisitc.  My opinion and only my opinion, if you cant honestly tell her I will be in Bogota in 60 or 90 days from today on such and such a day, you aren being real. And if your finances dont permit you to travel to Colombia, how can youe xpect to pay the costs of her emigrating to the UK or supportign her?

I live in Bogota, so if you want to ask me anything, Im at dennisanlevy@yahoo.com 

 dennis

[bcc_1_2]

idk how well this will go over, but I really do think I could have found a girl in Eastern Europe, Asia, or Latin America. One of the pluses for me about latin america (central america) is that it is really fast for me to get there flying out and it really doesn't cost me much. Going back often as a family (or her going on her own) is an expense that will add up over time. Real estate if you want to get that is certainly a cost. I just thought a one stop to Honduras was really feasible. The real estate is a bargain too. Regardless you've got to find the girl.

Anyways my point is unless you happen to be 100% sold on the fact that you must date a Colombian woman... I'd suggest pricing travel from the UK to say Kiev and hit up a city in Ukraine. The Bulgarian girls have a hot look too (especially if you like dark hair). I do

[jm21-2]

There's something to be said for dating a girl from a culture you're interested in. You're basically marrying her culture as well so if you don't like it now, think how it will be after 10 years married to it. You may want to grab a book on Colombian culture and/or read some of the many posts on this site.

There are a lot of guys on the Asian board who only visited one girl. I'd say it's probably the norm (and some girls wouldn't meet the guy if they knew he was meeting several other girls). But it seems like hardly any on the latin board.

[Jeff S]

I'd agree, it IS about culture. Traveling only to places you think are less expensive is probably one of the weaker reasons to select a country for seeking a wife. I'd spent far more time in Latin America than Asia and spoke much better Spanish than Japanese back when I decided it was time. I just fit MUCH better into the Asian culture, beliefs, and mindset than the Latin-American. Everyone has to look at themselves and decide what culture they're most compatible with.

[bcc_1_2]

I'd agree, it IS about culture. Traveling only to places you think are less expensive is probably one of the weaker reasons to select a country for seeking a wife.

I got to do some international travel growing up all the way til now and I've just got to say I've been interested in what goes on outside the bubble that is the United States (in which most Americans are clueless to) for a long time. I never took away from my experiences that the ideal woman for me was from one particular culture.

That and I didn't start taking wife trips. I went to Costa Rica my first time on a very low pressure trip. With Kevin if he truly is on a tight budget I would say first get your finances in order and figure out a way to pay for this pursuit... if he is serious about it. And despite his internet love if he isn't fixated on one particular culture... why not shop around and figure out what he can afford for his vacation (hopefully low pressure) to meet some ladies.

I really think I could have had success from Sofia to Cali to Shanghai. I'll tell ya Suze Orman is one of the most annoying people on TV... but I like her message.... can you afford it?

[Jeff S]

I certainly understand being on a budget and traveling internationally isn't exactly a low cost hobby - nonetheless, there are substantial differences between women in Tokyo, rural Vietnam, Buenos Aries, and ranchitos in central Mexico - and I don't mean skin color and breast size - lifestyle, food, worldliness, viewpoint, sanitation habits, tastes in clothes, decoration, music, hobbies, expectations of how a husband/father/lover are supposed to act... The list goes on and on. These are the things that'll make or break a relationship.

[CeeTeeEnn]

Kevin,

All the advice given to you so far is rock-solid, and comes from people who have been there and done it. I would therefore wish to add only this. Ask yourself the question: how exactly are you "smitten" with her? Are you smitten with her because you have discovered someone who is potentially a true soulmate, ie. you already have the same interests, tastes and opinions, and the fact that she is Colombian Latin is only a side-issue? Or are you more smitten with her because you find her accent sexy, and hear her say sweet things to you that you have never heard British girls say? The point I am making is - are you more smitten with her because of who she is as a person irrespective of her culture, or because she is the first Latina you really get along with, and despite your differences (or potential differences) she makes you feel good in a way that British girls don't?

This is a deep question, one only you can answer, but nevertheless an important one. If you are smitten with her because she is a Latina who you really get along with so far but don't feel you have the world in common with yet, then i would recommend carrying on the relationship but at the same time also doing what you can to learn about Latin culture from various sites and forums, and maybe picking up some basic Spanish. Then when you have the means to travel to Bogota you will have a wider frame of reference and a little more "backup" to your plan. But if you feel you have met a true soulmate, then you have nothing to lose by visiting her. Tell her your intent to see her and start planning a week in Bogota as soon as possible. You can fly there cheaply via Madrid. Even if you have to wait some time before being able to travel there, the fact that she is a soulmate as smitten with you as you are with her should make it easier for her to wait for you to see her.

In terms of family, Colombia is not the Middle East and it is rare for a Colombian family to be cold or hostile towards a Westerner interested in their daughter. Likewise, it would be unusual for a family to be hostile to the idea of her moving away from home to be with the man she loves. You can visit and stay in the country for 2 months without a VISA. But as for her visiting you, that's an entirely different matter. There are various routes she can take (tourist VISA, student VISA, working VISA, fiancee VISA, Spouse VISA - in order of "gravity") and your local CAB can fill you in on the details. Nevertheless, if your life is in the UK and this is where you wish to carry on living (as opposed to moving to Bogota permanently) then i'd mention this to her so as not to mislead her with regards to the long-term implications for any "real" relationship that may develop between the two of you. It may be that she is more than capable of starting a successful new life in the UK, but that's a question maybe best left for face to face discussion in the future.

I hope this helps. Good luck with it all.

[Researcher]

I'd agree, it IS about culture. Traveling only to places you think are less expensive is probably one of the weaker reasons to select a country for seeking a wife.

      I think having enough time to travel and spend time in a particular country is also one of the weaker reasons but unfortunately it is a reality. Not everyone has the luxury of doing so.When I was single I set my finances up so that money wasn't as much of an issue and then time became the issue. If you can make it about culture then I would have to say that really is a better reason to choose a particular country. Unfortunately that isn't always reality.


      Researcher

[EricandCaro]

Kevin,
I dated my wife after 2 years before getting married. There is no rush. My wife now in the US. I travel to Colombia frequently to spend time with her, her friends and family. It is important to experience different situations (good and bad)  together to get acquainted and you can only do that by visiting her. You must take time to build friendship and respect to develop true love. If it is to be then she will be there for you. It is not easy my friend. believe me. We had our ups and down...I can tell you ...Did not think we would make it but we worked it out....

We now own www.ColombianIntroductions.com dating site and help to match foreign men and Latin women. Please feel free to email or call us anytime if you need any assistance. We are here to help!

Will you be traveling to Bogota soon? Let us know what your plans are.

Best regards,
Eric and Carolina

[bcc_1_2]

The last time you posted it was a similar message to a new poster and I asked you a question. Is your agency IMBRA compliant? Don't believe we got an answer. If you want to promote your agency to the newbies that post about coming to Bogota... you ought to at least be able to handle that question.

[Ray]

The last time you posted it was a similar message to a new poster and I asked you a question. Is your agency IMBRA compliant? Don't believe we got an answer. If you want to promote your agency to the newbies that post about coming to Bogota... you ought to at least be able to handle that question.

In this case, since the "newbie" is a citizen of the UK, I'm sure he doesn't give a rat's ass about IMBRA.

Why don't you start a new thread to badger this owner about IMBRA compliance?

 

[bcc_1_2]

In this case, since the "newbie" is a citizen of the UK, I'm sure he doesn't give a rat's ass about IMBRA.

The last time they promoted their business in a similar thread... the "newbie" was from the USA. They ignored the question. I have no desire to hammer them just want an honest answer. Show me the carfax!  

[Ray]

I don't disagree with your question bcc, but I don't think it belongs in this thread.

Now be a good little boy and start a new thread where you are welcome to hammer them all you want until you get an honest answer... 

Ray

[bcc_1_2]

but I don't think it belongs in this thread.

That's great. Not moving it. Ask a mod if you want.

And I don't expect it to be answered. But everytime they try and recruit a newbie directly... I will continue to directly ask them a very important question.

[joeblack]

I just have one advise for you........do it!!! You won't regret it!!! and i also want u to know www.nuevoromanceonline.com just in case u want to take a look of some other options

[Researcher]

 


 Good luck with your search.


 Researcher