Why Paddy's Not at Work Today
Dear sir, I write this note to you, to tell you of my plight.
For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight,
Me body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray,
And I write this note to say why I am not at work today.
While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear,
But throwing them down from such a height, was not a good idear.
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sort,
And he made me cart them down the bloody ladders in me hod.
Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow,
So I hoisted up a barrel, and secured the rope below,
But in me haste, to do the job, I was too blind to see,
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.
As soon as I'd untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead,
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found,
That halfway up I met that bloody barrel coming down.
It severed me left shoulder, as toward the ground it sped,
And as I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head.
But I clung on tightly not with shock, from this almighty blow,
As the barrel spilled out half its bricks, some fourteen floors below.
I now outweighed the barrel and fell towards the floor,
And the barrel having spilled its bricks, started up once more,
As I sped toward the ground, me body wracked with pain,
And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again.
The force of this collision, halfway down the office block,
Caused multiple abrasions, and a nasty case of shock,
But I clung on tightly to the rope, as I fell towards the ground,
And there I landed on the broken bricks the barrel'd scattered round.
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst,
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst.
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I did not have a hope,
and as I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel now being heavier, started down once more,
And landed right across me, as I lay there on the floor,
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I write this note to say,
I hope you'll understand why I'm not at work today.
