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Author Topic: Back From Cali...Where the Nightlife (Mostly) Sucks  (Read 3382 times)

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Offline robert angel

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Re: Back From Cali...Where the Nightlife (Mostly) Sucks
« Reply #50 on: July 19, 2018, 01:49:12 PM »
All the above not withstanding, my wife is somewhere between amazed and appalled that we have public housing and trailer parks full of people, many of them fat, who live off the govt. They have food stamps, many have air conditioning and cable TV, some even have cars.

I suppose it's more appalled than amazed these days, especially after she spent her first five years here working in a public school. There, she saw the children of these people, sometimes wearing $200 basketball sneakers, getting free breakfast, lunch and afterschool care programs with free snacks. A lot of these kids were the rudest, most ungrateful of the bunch.

We also have homeless encampments, many people there do not want to work and are on booze or drugs to the point where the shelters won't let them in for a free meal, shower and a voucher for free, ck
clean used clothes and shoes.

We have 'Help Wanted' signs in almost every restaurant window, as well as in many businesses, but instead you see too many able bodied 'homeless' pan handling'--  sometimes while smoking cigarettes, some even with their dogs, along side them.

Back in my wife's country, if you don't work and have money, you don't eat and you don't get medical help. They typically have big families and living all together, do whatever they can do to get enough food to survive.

Is there something wrong with this picture?
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Offline Calipro

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Re: Back From Cali...Where the Nightlife (Mostly) Sucks
« Reply #51 on: July 19, 2018, 04:08:15 PM »
All the above not withstanding, my wife is somewhere between amazed and appalled that we have public housing and trailer parks full of people, many of them fat, who live off the govt. They have food stamps, many have air conditioning and cable TV, some even have cars.

I suppose it's more appalled than amazed these days, especially after she spent her first five years here working in a public school. There, she saw the children of these people, sometimes wearing $200 basketball sneakers, getting free breakfast, lunch and afterschool care programs with free snacks. A lot of these kids were the rudest, most ungrateful of the bunch.

We also have homeless encampments, many people there do not want to work and are on booze or drugs to the point where the shelters won't let them in for a free meal, shower and a voucher for free, ck
clean used clothes and shoes.

We have 'Help Wanted' signs in almost every restaurant window, as well as in many businesses, but instead you see too many able bodied 'homeless' pan handling'--  sometimes while smoking cigarettes, some even with their dogs, along side them.

Back in my wife's country, if you don't work and have money, you don't eat and you don't get medical help. They typically have big families and living all together, do whatever they can do to get enough food to survive.

Is there something wrong with this picture?


I never saw a panhandler I would hire.


But in the early 80s I would go to Home Depot and pick up illegals to dig holes to install cable tv into homes. I got paid piece work and COX paid me 10 bucks a hole.
I paid the Mexicans 5 bucks to dig the holes while I installed cable in the house.


Homeless people just aren’t fit enough to work out in the sun all day. And who the hell whats them anywhere near your food in a restaurant. Jajaja


I have friends that worry about what blacks, Mexicans and homeless people are doing....and without exception none of the people that spend time talking about blacks Mexican and homeless are doing all that well financially.


I don’t know if spending time thinking about other people causes you to struggle financially or if struggling financially causes you to think more about what other people are doing. Jajajaa

Offline robert angel

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Re: Back From Cali...Where the Nightlife (Mostly) Sucks
« Reply #52 on: July 19, 2018, 05:18:40 PM »
I see Mexicans standing out in the rain at 5AM, waiting, hoping someone will pick them up for day labor. Some of them look real rough on the edges, skinny, old, etc. I respect the hell out of that--them.

We're fortunate in that we're not struggling financially or over worrying about about the homeless. But I'll admit though that I sometimes have to reel my wife in a bit sometimes because she's such a soft touch to give money to almost any people who look down and out.

I definitely rule it out when they're smoking cigarettes, if we can smell dope or booze, or if they're the more and more frequently seen "dog people"--Dog hobos-- - groups we see a lot of downtown --young, able bodied folks in their 20s and 30s, white, wearing Rastafarian braids, usually in camouflage clothing, usually looking like they haven't showered in weeks, with musical instruments and several dogs.

The cops check to see if the dogs have licenses and shot records. I remember when my first son was born and our Chinese Pug dog's Vetinarian bills were bigger than the Pediatricians!!

A big part of it comes from the church and her faith in it--and from reading the bible. Not that she's some bible thumping prude, far, far from it.

But it didn't help any when after mass one day, I got into a conversation with the Priest. I explained that I'd met with the heads of many social services agencies, shelters etc., and visited the shelters and almost to a one, they told me that more than 90% of the time, the money you give on the street goes to drugs and booze.

Then our Priest, Father Gabe, who IS a great guy, said he'll give them some cash and let God work out the percentages.

More recently, knowing my wife wants to do SOMETHING, I'll let her buy someone who really looks down on their luck a meal to go. Dang it if we don't order water at restaurants, (maybe a glass of wine sometimes) but she'll get the person outside a full meal AND a soft drink or sweet tea, LOL.

Since I retired, we're making and taking home more than before and that'll increase at least 3 to 6% year, (plus I can take or leave work if I want, when I want) so I'm not pissing and moaning about $$$, but sometimes I still have to laugh, shake my head and roll my eyes.

My sisters are similar to her. I used to joke that if a beggar hit them up and they didn't have cash, they'd ask: "Can you take a check?"
 
But heck, it makes my wife feel a lot better, although she's humble and quiet as a church mouse about it. I'll never know how much money she gives the church, other people and places. I remember a few nonths ago we were watching the national news and a story about some castastrophe came on TV. A friend had just sent her a fifty dollar prepaid CC card as a gift. With tears in her eyes, she asked me: "Can I just send them the fifty?" - - - I said "Sure, go ahead"..... She just feels that we're so fortunate that we should try and give something back.

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Re: Back From Cali...Where the Nightlife (Mostly) Sucks
« Reply #52 on: July 19, 2018, 05:18:40 PM »

Offline robert angel

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Re: Back From Cali...Where the Nightlife (Mostly) Sucks
« Reply #53 on: July 19, 2018, 09:24:19 PM »
And this good Catholic girl worries that she's looking like an old woman lately. She doesn't even have a stitch of make-up on here! Worries I might find a newer, prettier model.... Fat chance of that ever happening...
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Offline Wildstubby

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Re: Back From Cali...Where the Nightlife (Mostly) Sucks
« Reply #54 on: July 21, 2018, 05:44:17 AM »
And this good Catholic girl worries that she's looking like an old woman lately. She doesn't even have a stitch of make-up on here! Worries I might find a newer, prettier model.... Fat chance of that ever happening...

Oh to have your problems Robert! I like hearing a winning story every now and then!

Offline robert angel

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Re: Back From Cali...Where the Nightlife (Mostly) Sucks
« Reply #55 on: July 21, 2018, 10:53:52 AM »
Oh to have your problems Robert! I like hearing a winning story every now and then!

Thanks W.S.--It can happen to you too!!!

Don't be a fool like I was and wait for four years before asking for her hand when the right one comes along! Still, don't rush TOO fast to decision --definitely don't, but don't procrastinate too long either. Even she, after four years, gave me an ultimatum to officially propose or not and she's NOT pushy.  But you wait to get to mid twenties in a lot of nations and if still unmarried, she'll be seen as a bit of an oddball, damaged goods--a spinster....

Granted I was feeling burnt after  a divorce that left me with two young sons, and I was gun shy, but I had created a self defeating mindset in my head, saying: "Too young, too pretty, too well educated,  out of my league". I got too content in controlling my own life as a single, comfy in my 'man cave' - - surrounded by electronics, pizza boxes and empty Chinese take out containers. - - not ready to 'take a chance'. Self defeating.

No risk, no gain.....Reach, 'get on the plane'....

And I didn't think it was fair to not give her kids and I used that as an excuse too, until she told me she accepted that. I made her take time to think about it too. While she wasn't wishy washy, still,  'saying that' and sticking to it are two different things. I've been fortunate. 

In South America or the Philippines, that'll often come back and bite ya later, especially as all their friends their age have more and more kids. And older women, 30's, 40's etc., aren't necessarily desperate any more, they've often adjusted to their fate. My wife must be Godmother to twenty kids--their Mothers see what loyalty,  character and values my wife demonstrates and want that example seen, but she doesn't guilt trip me. She does point out (fairly)sometimes that my own sons from my first marrriage (to a Filipina) should be more appreciative for their blessings.

But now I've known her about 17 years, going on our 13th wedding anniversary not so far off, so while I take nothing for granted and still tell myself 'nothing lasts forever' --if for some reason it suddenly ended, I'd be thankful for having the best years of my life, and  in the middle of my years at that.

Sure I'd be torn up as hell and it'd be 99.9999% my fault, but nowadays unlike before I try not to ruminate when things go bad. Better to go back into my own personna and realize I'm a different person, regroup and get back in the game. Can't live in the past too long.

No guys--be careful not to go for the prettiest one, because that often comes with sometimes not immediately obvious 'rider clauses' on that marital contract'-- like Bob Seger sings in his song 'Hollywood Nights'

She was born with a face that would let her get away--He saw that face and he lost all control..."

Pretty women often are on invisible pedestals that you only come to see all too clearly later on and even if it doesn't seem, if it ISN'T initially-- if brought to the USA, they may enter humbly, then realize they're a hot, exotic and rare commodity and become a high maintainance nightmare. With wandering eyes and shifting values at that. Be careful how she and you choose your friends.

In her country, she wasn't the prettiest, the tallest, didn't have her Master's Degree etc, but here in the USA, she's a rose and my family, her friends and coworkers love her great, 'nice' and genuine demeanor.

While after all this time here she knows that she's more attractive than most  local women, she's far, far from ego tripping. Instead of thinking 'I could have it soooo much better--a younger, richer guy, lot of 'things'--she's grateful for what we have and a lot of times, it's the little things and gestures that mean the most to her.

I asked her the other day in a sober way, serious as a frickin heart attack: " Honey, do you honestly see us still together in twenty years?"--without blinking, not a hint of insincerity --actually she was surprised I even asked, she said "Of course!!!". Time will tell--life afford's few certainties.

She's going home next month for a few weeks and that trip upon return, always makes our marriage, our appreciation for each other and for what niceties life in the USA can provide, our private little home and life, all the better.

But an instance of the 'small things'--I bought her Mom a nice solar powered Seiko dress watch--it might just as well as been a gold Rolex. We got some purses for her sisters at TJ Maxx, they might as well as been Louis Vuitton.  The 50% to 75% off stuff from Victoria's Secret bi annual sale will be precious. The Levis for her siblings? like Versace to them. They don't expect, they don't ask for 'stuff' and that makes us more inclined to bring Christmas in the summer to them every few years.

Parts for the chainsaw I bought them years back for their farm? You'd think they were gold plated. Other families would've just asked for a new chainsaw.

Stuff that all too often our USA born kids almost feel is their birthright and as such not really appreciated,  is often viewed differently abroad.

Bottom line is she had her head on pretty damn good to start, came from a big family that's tight and down to earth, not poor, not rich, supportive of hard work and education (like our life here) and I am always encouraging her communication with them. I appreciate their culture, which means the world to her. If I was pissy about her phoning home --and it does cost, as her Mom's outside the internet zone, and with her helping her six  younger siblings with tuition (that's long done now thankfully) I'd be a lot more on the outside than in.

Might not be the best idea, but especially if you take a woman from outside her nation to yours, appreciating where she came from and how 'all that' made her the who and what she is today, is a very good idea. Try to 'get inside' her mindset and you hopefully won't find yourself more on the outside, as time goes by.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2018, 10:29:26 PM by robert angel »
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