The value of a GOOD MAN

[Zon]

Howdie everyone.  I'm back for a couple of days in the USA (St. Petersburg, FL - specifically. Whenever I am here life slows ... I become bored.  I log into Good Wife lol)  Again, I have business interests in the Dominican Republic, so I travel there a great deal.  If anyone needs information about this region, I would be happy to assist.  My experience and impressions are deeper and have not changed since my last posts. I will be traveling again to those locations for two weeks next Wednesday. 

I have continued to explore the notion of meeting a good woman in South America (versus my former and continued preference Eastern Europe and the Former Soviet Union.

I have become exhausted with the online services (although I tell myself that it was helpful in my learning of the Spanish language). TOO MUCH VOLUME VERSUS QUALITY. ColombianCupid; LatinAmericanCupid; and Amigos  It was like being sprayed in the face with a fire hose.  The level of connection that I was able to achieve from online correspondence was remarkably poor (especially by comparison to my past experience with similar boards from ladies in Romania; Ukraine; and Russia. AMAZINGLY, the best letter - BY FAR - I received on Columbian Cupids was from Elana from Kazan Russia !!  LOL ).  I do sense a kinder and gentle nature, however.  And, I am open to the possibility that a personal meeting might change the equation instantly.

(btw ... I am just contributing my full experience for the benefits of the reader.  I am not trying to make a case, or judgment on anything)

I am particularly impressed with the ladies and agencies of Columbia.  Indeed there does seem to be a big world; that is very close; with a culture that is easy to bridge, unexplored by me. I would appreciate within this thread if those who know of an agency in Colombia to simply reference the URL (let's avoid the frequent pissing match that this dialog stimulates ... I believe there are good girls and bad agencies and bad girls in good agencies.  I am looking for a comprehensive referral.  I have already contacted Introductions by Consuelo and I think there service is very very good so far)

The point of this thread is simply to remark on who women from other countries value a man.  It is amazing is it not??!!??!!

Ladies in Colombia are like ladies in Ukraine ...  you can be an average looking, but kind, optimistic, and stable man - and for you the sky is the limit.  It is CRAZY to see the difference in the USA!  I travel in the USA much and am around very sexy girls BUT - if they are sexy; their quality drops greatly.  The quality ladies (educated; stable; with moral fiber) - I am noticing with increasing frequency - are equals, or superior, to their male partners once a marriage occurs.  No denying this.  In the USA, the woman is the CEO and Chairman of the Board.  Very few exceptions.

I don't think this brings fulfillment and happiness to the females.  I am sure it does not bring fulfillment and happiness to the males.

Bottom line.  A good man is valued much greater in other areas of the world than in the USA.

[no comment]

So you travel in the Dominican Republic & have business interests there but you're looking at women in Colombia? What can you say about the women in the D.R.?
As for women valuing a good man, I think that the culture north of the border has been altered by the fact of human interdependence being replaced by socially managed financial interdependence.
There's a sentence that is not clear, "The quality ladies (educated, stable, with moral fiber) .... are equals, or superior, to their male partners once a marriage occurs." Are you saying that the women become dominant? I think it's better for a man to become the best he can be and seek the best relationship for himself. To read these boards it seems that some (this is not directed at you, Rivardco) are simply looking for a weaker companion who's also hot.

[daytrader]

There's a sentence that is not clear, "The quality ladies (educated, stable, with moral fiber) .... are equals, or superior, to their male partners once a marriage occurs." Are you saying that the women become dominant? I think it's better for a man to become the best he can be and seek the best relationship for himself. To read these boards it seems that some (this is not directed at you, Rivardco) are simply looking for a weaker companion who's also hot.

............no comment....

DayTrader

[singlefather no more]

Daytrader,

cat got your tongue ? lol .. You are not commenting you must be sick today.

no comment,

I agree with you fully..

Everyone,

I think some guys have questionable motives.. Jeez , I can't think of anyone like that here though on this board.. cough cough.. hmmmmmmm.. Daytrader can you think of anyone ? ....

Well I have to go now and listen to some music.. Johnny Rivers hit song is on now..

How does that song go again ? S..... A.... M..       lol..

have a good day,

singlefather

..

[Zon]

There's a sentence that is not clear, "The quality ladies (educated, stable, with moral fiber) .... are equals, or superior, to their male partners once a marriage occurs." Are you saying that the women become dominant? I think it's better for a man to become the best he can be and seek the best relationship for himself. To read these boards it seems that some (this is not directed at you, Rivardco) are simply looking for a weaker companion who's also hot.

You are right not a very clear sentence.  It is a theme that is discussed, or highlighted frequently on these boards, however.

As I have simultaneously become aware of IT, and traveled to different cultures a great deal ... I perceive the IT in increasing drama. 

IT= Wives and Mothers are frequently in a a dominant position.  The husband is increasingly in a weaker position.  The depictions on television advertising is especially telling.  But!  When I go to a soccer game and see mothers and fathers with there children, it is not uncommon for the mother to be the fulfillment the male role. 

It is more than role confusion.  Where the woman can earn resources and a man give emotional support  ... I am beginning to sense a pity and contempt  (I am smiling as I write this ... but it is the truth).

Regarding the ladies in the DR.  It is an island of +plus 6 million.  The gene pool is very mixed.  There are very very very beautiful ladies (AND much of my job is recruiting the most graceful and beautiful as models ... I like my job).  So it is NOT a problem to find beauty and a very simple and pleasing woman that will be completely loving and completely devoted.  BUT, I have not found a woman with the education, manner, and grace I require to be taken seriously.

Colombia's worth a look?  Why not, it is fun to travel and see new things. Think I will scoot down there in June for a week.   I am planing a 40 day trip in November / December to Prauge; Bucharist; Moldovia; and Kiev.  ACTUALLY, I am most looking forward to that.

If anyone wants info on The North Shore; Santiago; and Punta Cana Dominican Republic , I would be happy to assist.

[utopiacowboy]

It's a total mystery to me why you find the women of the Ukraine so alluring. My brother is married to an ethnic Russian from Odessa and there is not a more domineering neurotic woman to be found. Each to his own.

[Zon]

I know man. 

I was in Punta Cana for the last two weeks where I could fairly judge spanish vs. russian girls on vacation.  No question, Russian girls are a little bitchy.  At the same time, Spanish / Brazilian  are a little loving right from the start.

I have not made my mind up yet.  When I do, it will be with the benefit of more information and experience than any one man should rightly possess.

[UKCaliumbo]

You will find more Russian women willingly to learn your langauge than Latin American women, but it is easier for English-speaking people to learn Spanish than Russian

In general, Latin American women are more 'home lovely' ladies than Russian women.  On the other hand, Russian women are better at making conversation than Latin American women. 
In general, Russian women are more romantic than Latin American women, but Latin American women are more passionate 'hot' than Russian women.

When you are looking at WRONG women, Russian women normally ask you for $2,000+ but Latin American women normally ask you for 10 times less. 


Both Latin American women and Russian women are lovely when you find the right woman.  They all have good and bad women like anywhere else in the world.

 

[Zon]

In general, Latin American women are more 'home lovely' ladies than Russian women.  On the other hand, Russian women are better at making conversation than Latin American women.
In general, Russian women are more romantic than Latin American women, but Latin American women are more passionate 'hot' than Russian women.

VERY WELL SAID!

A Russian woman can capture the fantasy of the right hand side of the brain, while a Latina can capture the fantasy of the left.  When in a big argument with a Russian woman, you wonder if she ever REALLY loved you at all; while when you are in a big argument with a Latina, you wished she never loved you at all. Generally speaking a Russian woman can fill your life with more humanities and intelligence; while a Latina can fill your life with emotion and love.  This is my favorite subject of comparison.  I look forward to future research.

[mulvainey]

Gentlemen,
I would like to respond to this, If I may.  I too made many trips to Ukraine....I am a good looking, successful 40 year old guy that is fed up with dating divorcee's with kids, or American women that want to party and spend my money.  The Ukrainian girls are drop dead gorgeous, very educated and are open to meeting foreign men.  I had a handful of relationships there, and can't say that I ever trusted any of them 100%.  They also aren't as passionate as Spanish women and I  wasn't convinced of their motives.  Latin women, however, are loving, passionate and want to take care of their men.  They are not as educated (as a whole) as the Ukrainians, but you can't have it all.  Culturally, the Ukrainians are "harder"...very slow to let their guard down too.  I have given up on my trips there now and have started traveling to Columbia.  I am leaving on my second trip this Thursday to Medellin.  Will report my progress in two weeks.

[Kiltboy1]

It has been said many times here on this forum" LEARN YOUR LADIES LANGUAGE"

[Kiltboy1]

It has been said many times here on this forum" LEARN YOUR LADIES LANGUAGE"
I have the most interesting and fulfilling conversations with my wife, who is very educated. While she speaks english, to really get into a good debate, we speak in spanish and she can duscuss just about any subject going on in the world.But even if you find a woman that has less education, you still will have more fullfilling conversations if you learn her language. English is a very difficult language to learn just because we have some many words that do not have a translation. I have no experiance with russian women nor ever had a desire  because they just were not reallt very attractive for me. I do not like high cheekbones which many EU women seem to have. I also met many guys that really took a bath going afttr those women . You need a big wallet to hang in that crowd I am told.

[Zon]

mulvainey - please keep us posted.

I DO KNOW that success is very possible from any region.  What we are helping each other with here are differentiating characteristics that only can apply in general terms.

I look very forward to your TR on your Colombian experience. 

I too have noticed the emotional transparency of Latin women.  The opposite is true of Eastern European women - generally speaking.  But I DO love high check bones and very European features.  (I know, I know... I have my values all screwed up)  We will see....

[RJS]

I think that high-end european women are the best looking on earth, generally speaking. However, they are also the most high-maintenance and will be the most likely to file for divorce as soon as things aren't going perfectly for them. Personally, I want a girl that's a bit more family oriented that hasn't been spoiled by men with too much money for the majority of her life. Too many women have trouble separating fantasty from reality, especially when they don't have to struggle for their own money. Struggle is character-forming, and being an attractive woman in north america or europe, you really don't have to struggle very much. I know one girl that created an online dating profile so that she would have men to buy her dinner every night. The sister of my friend's gf used to model and she had one bf she loved, and another guy she used for material things. I find that sort of thing detestable, but it's very prevalent in different forms. I find it very hard to trust women in my home city anymore.

SA and its women offer a complete change. Frankly, I like the emotional transparency of latin women, and that is exactly the right term for it.  I get the impression that many of them aren't very cultured and don't know much about the world outside their own countries (certainly the one I was with didn't), but that is stuff that can be learned over time in the right environment. Then again, most of the women here aren't very cultured and don't know much about the outside world either, so maybe i'm being hard on LA because i'm looking for perfection.

Sometimes the defiance and cattiness of western women is a huge turn-on, but overall, western women have too many big negatives. I used to be friends with many women, but have gradually cut them off because they were so selfish. The only one I am still very close with is indian. You guessed it, she's selfless and she was raised in a fairly traditional indian household that places a strong value on family and putting others first.

Anyway, sorry for the mini-rant. NA women get under my skin.

[jm21-2]

I get the impression that many of them aren't very cultured and don't know much about the world outside their own countries (certainly the one I was with didn't), but that is stuff that can be learned over time in the right environment. Then again, most of the women here aren't very cultured and don't know much about the outside world either, so maybe i'm being hard on LA because i'm looking for perfection.

I wouldn't count on being able to cultivate a woman. What you see is likely what you get. I could see if there was a woman who was really interested in other countries but didn't have the time or resources to learn more...but really, with the internet that seems a highly unlikely scenario.

[RJS]

I wouldn't count on being able to cultivate a woman. What you see is likely what you get. I could see if there was a woman who was really interested in other countries but didn't have the time or resources to learn more...but really, with the internet that seems a highly unlikely scenario.

There's more to acquiring culture than reading. You can read, but unless you experience other cultures, and culture in general, it won't rub-off on you. LA cities aren't cosmopolitan in the way of places like NYC or other great international cities. You don't find separate chinese and italian neighborhoods. I chalk it up mostly to a lack of exposure for these women. I also think that Latin americans girls spend less time infront of computers and internet. And lastly, it's a lot less interesting to read about things than to experience them.

Without any pretensions, I can say that I'm a fairly cultured guy, but it came mostly from doing and having the certain people expose me to things at the proper point in my life. For instance, if you try and take most teenagers to the opera, the response you'll get half-way through the show is "what is this [snip]?" If you take a girl with a unversity degree, you're much more likely to get a positive response as she's probably more mature and will have opened her mind to the point where she can at the very least appreciate it, even if it's not her favorite type of music.

From a personal point of view, I'd like to think that I've had a positive cultivating effect on many women i've dated here. ;p Many women that had never listened to opera in their lives ended-up loving it after I took them to one. Wine and good food are things you can read about, but unless you take time to taste them, talk about them, and compare, you won't really get understand any of those things. It's the same for art. I've always found reading about it tremendously boring. When i started looking for art for my own place though, I took much more interest and derived a lot more enjoyment from visiting galleries. All of these things require more disposable income than a typical latina will have.

I look for women with good manners, discipline, intelligence, an open mind, and a proven desire to learn (university degree). You can't force your tastes on someone, but that's not what i'm looking to do. I just want someone that's willing to learn and give new experiences a serious try with an open mind, whether I'm talking about travelling to exotic locations, trying new food, or seeing a live performance of a type that's different from their usual fare. Culture is something that is acquired over many years and is an aggregate of experiences and knowledge. It is impossible to acqure from straight book knowledge, although that is part of it. It can most definitely be acquired, but there are definite limits. Someone with no education, no interest in learning, and no sense of etiquette will have a difficult time ever become cultured. For "proof" just watch Woody Allen's Small Time Crooks or Good Will Hunting. ;p

[jm21-2]

I look for women with good manners, discipline, intelligence, an open mind, and a proven desire to learn (university degree). You can't force your tastes on someone, but that's not what i'm looking to do. I just want someone that's willing to learn and give new experiences a serious try with an open mind, whether I'm talking about travelling to exotic locations, trying new food, or seeing a live performance of a type that's different from their usual fare. Culture is something that is acquired over many years and is an aggregate of experiences and knowledge. It is impossible to acqure from straight book knowledge, although that is part of it. It can most definitely be acquired, but there are definite limits. Someone with no education, no interest in learning, and no sense of etiquette will have a difficult time ever become cultured. For "proof" just watch Woody Allen's Small Time Crooks or Good Will Hunting. ;p

I wasn't saying you could acquire cultivation purely from book learning. Just that if you find a girl who is uninterested in becoming cultivated, chances are she won't all of a sudden want to after she marries you. If you meet a girl in our modern world who doesn't know anything about culture or other countries, she probably is very uninterested in those topics.

[RJS]

I wasn't saying you could acquire cultivation purely from book learning. Just that if you find a girl who is uninterested in becoming cultivated, chances are she won't all of a sudden want to after she marries you. If you meet a girl in our modern world who doesn't know anything about culture or other countries, she probably is very uninterested in those topics.

I just don't agree. The girl I was with didn't know a whole lot out global politics and what made the world go round. This was no surprise because she was studying nursing and all her friends were studying nursing. School curriculums are extremely narrow these days. I hardly touched a history book in HS. Through chance and exposure my interests changed in university. She was just never exposed to it, and as someone living in latin america, she was not exposed to opera either, but she really took a liking to it after she was exposed. Sometimes people don't know what they don't know, and they don't know what their real passions are until they stumble upon them by chance.

From my experience, people that actively try to become "cultured" are often very fake. I once dated a girl that started reading Anna Karenina just so that she could impress "cultured" men by saying she read it. I actually caught her saying this to another girl. I don't think she ever got more than half-way through but I'm sure she still made the claim and she loved telling people what she was reading.