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Offline Fosgate5

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Advice
« on: October 20, 2014, 12:14:41 AM »
10yrs ago a brother of a friend married a woman through Latin Life Mates and I almost took the plunge to go there myself. However, I met a local woman who I thought was the one. We were together for several years and split just a year ago. I stayed in the town we moved to and finished my college degree in business admin management and minor in public health at the age of 42 just recently. After I broke up I lived in an apartment on campus dating women from 23-45. I moved back to my home area after I graduated and my parents fell ill. I spent two months setting up the care they needed and now looking for employment. I do not expect it will take long to gain employment and quickly stabilize my life financially as before college once again.

 I'm a goal planner who sees vision and I see no vision with the women I have dated. In the last year I have gone out with nearly 80 women and I just get the same ball busting, feminist entitlement, anti-masculinity, ball busting, "my life sucks and I want you in it, but I don't need a man", lying, classless, mean, spoiled, hateful females. Often they just wind up being some one nite stand or some crazy person you wouldn't trust to walk your dog.

So I have had it with local women you could say. I saw 4 women when I first got home and had enough. So I got online and have been digging through articles, reviews etc and see there seems to be many companies who do not have your best interest at heart. I have traveled extensively as I was stationed in Germany during my military days and spent time in Kosovo & Honduras. I am aware of many security risks but at 6'6, blonde hair, blue eyes, I stick out like a sore thumb there. So my plan it to go through an agency. I looked up Latin Life Mates and see many of the same pictures I saw there nearly 10 years ago. This made me start looking for other agencies like International Introductions like Jamie's. I've read his site extensively and looked up some of the complaints and still think I will use an agency like his provided I can find others to compare to. I would probably use full services like hotel, introductions, translator etc. (just got materials to learn Spanish) for many reasons from security to enhance communications and to bounce opinions off of etc. (I really don't want to make it a regular trip starting from scratch each time.) Probably won't do much with email etc until maybe a month prior to departure if at all.

Is it unrealistic to have expectations to formulate a plan to find someone with say a two week visit? I know there are many who frequent there regularly but I have no such desire to spend all my time off going to the the routine of searching for a few years etc. I was thinking get $10-15k set aside before I even think of making the first trip. What is the range of time from first trip before marriage are many seeing? Also, can anyone suggest any other reputable services? Any to absolutely avoid? (PM me those rather than publish maybe)
« Last Edit: October 20, 2014, 12:19:13 AM by Fosgate5, Reason: add »

Offline benjio

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Re: Advice
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2014, 06:51:13 AM »
Is it unrealistic to have expectations to formulate a plan to find someone with say a two week visit? I know there are many who frequent there regularly but I have no such desire to spend all my time off going to the the routine of searching for a few years etc. I was thinking get $10-15k set aside before I even think of making the first trip. What is the range of time from first trip before marriage are many seeing? Also, can anyone suggest any other reputable services? Any to absolutely avoid? (PM me those rather than publish maybe)


Fosgate,


Welcome to the board. My answer to your question is "Yes!"...on average that expectation is unrealistic. I will add that it has been and most definitely can be done. But in my opinion it's better to approach a potential relationship with a Latina living SOTB just like you'd approach one with a gringa living in the U.S. Ask yourself, "Would you honestly feel like you knew a woman was "The One" after just 2 weeks in the U.S.? Can you meet a special woman in 2 weeks with the assistance of an agency? Most definitely! But you should wait at least a few months and 3 or 4 trips before making huge commitments. Read more of the testimonies here and you'll find out how often the dynamics of a relationship can completely change when you return for the second trip. The older a woman is, the more mentally and emotionally stable they tend to be, but then you sometimes have to deal with other variables like children from past relationships, etc. Some here are of the opinion that dating educated women from more affluent backgrounds can give you a better chance of success, but I don't 100% agree with that either. My current girlfriend is from a rich family, and although she's an awesome gal, I have to put up with a number of things I wouldn't if she were from a more modest background (not being able to cook or clean, no sense of the value of money, a little spoiled at times, etc.). To some men things like that are deal breakers.


I don't think anyone here with experience will give you an estimate of the time between meeting a girl and marrying her because each relationship and situation is different. You're approaching this like an exact science when in reality it's a very sloppy art. In the end you have to choose your battles. This usually isn't an easy process for most gringos. Treat any failure as a learning experience, take your time and ALWAYS think with your big head. Best of luck to you.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2014, 08:07:27 AM by benjio »

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Advice
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2014, 06:55:55 AM »
I looked up Latin Life Mates and see many of the same pictures I saw there nearly 10 years ago. This made me start looking for other agencies like International Introductions like Jamie's.


I've also seen same pictures in Jamie's site from 6-7 years ago, and not even updated number of child etc!

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Re: Advice
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2014, 06:55:55 AM »

Offline benjio

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Re: Advice
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2014, 07:54:05 AM »

I've also seen same pictures in Jamie's site from 6-7 years ago, and not even updated number of child etc!


In Jamie's defense, he only updates girls profiles when someone shows interest in them. His staff will contact a girl to inform her she's received an email with a man's profile, then ask them if any pertinent information has changed. If the contact information they have is invalid and they can't get in touch with the girl, she will generally be deleted from the site until she contacts them and gives them a valid cell number/email. This is why you'll see women appear and disappear from the site so often. I've been an administrator for a human resources database and let me tell you...when it comes to hundreds or thousands of people there's not a more difficult collection of information to keep up to date. Imagine Jamie trying to contact every single girl on his site, let's say once a quarter...to verify their information is up to date. It simply isn't realistic. Obviously the more attractive, younger women are contacted much more frequently; so it's usually a safe bet to assume their information is relatively up to date.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2014, 08:01:13 AM by benjio »

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Advice
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2014, 07:59:59 AM »

In Jamie's defense, he only updates girls profiles when someone shows interest in them.


Could it be done with LLM too?

Offline benjio

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Re: Advice
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2014, 08:03:34 AM »

Could it be done with LLM too?


Dunno....when I was dating a girl from his agency and visiting Barranquilla frequently my ex use to work during the day; so I use to sat in his office and talk to him for hours when I didn't have anything to do. During that time I got to see the innerworkings of his agency first hand (and listen to A LOT of crazy stories). I can't speak for LLM.

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Advice
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2014, 08:09:20 AM »

Dunno....when I was dating a girl from his agency and visiting Barranquilla frequently my ex use to work during the day; so I use to sat in his office and talk to him for hours when I didn't have anything to do. During that time I got to see the innerworkings of his agency first hand (and listen to A LOT of crazy stories). I can't speak for LLM.


I would avoid ACG (Cali) as I know a woman (met her) who faked her age by 10 years, so obviously she did not show them her ID /Cedula.  Not only this, but also fake date of birth lol.    Calicharm (no longer in operation) put her real age.   The woman told me that Calicharm lied, but in fact she was the one who lied, cos I once caught her ID with her real age.  I did it on purpose LOL.  Nice lady despite of her liar.  LOL


 

Offline Fosgate5

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Re: Advice
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2014, 10:54:55 AM »
My thought is narrow down the list the first visit to 3-5 and maybe a couple more trips to A. Spend a bit more time with finalists while continuing to search for more. I cant imagine I will have all that much time off available so I have to maintain my career as well. I would not have the plan of making these trips a vacation as I do not want them to think my vacation mode is who I am all the time at home. I do need time to relax and unwind but I don't think a foreign country like Columbia is a place for me to unwind as much as I would like due to security risks. (Yes, I like to sit in the back of an establishment with my back to the wall so I can see what's coming). This is why I will avoid agencies that part of their ice breaking is to take guys to some club where the liquer flows freely. Nor will I go to a club with a woman there. Just a bad idea in my opinion after seeing several GI's go missing only for their bodies to be found in the woods behind clubs days or weeks later. To the point yeah, I realize it will more than likely not be a one and done, I just don't want this to be a deal where your starting from scratch every time. I hope i don't sound like an uppity prick but I just have a vision and a goal for this thing and I don't want to waste time and money by going in unfocused and treating it like a getaway or something like I have to commit to devise ways to get time as risk to employement or financial health to make it down there yet again.

Offline benjio

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Re: Advice
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2014, 11:32:06 AM »
My thought is narrow down the list the first visit to 3-5 and maybe a couple more trips to A. Spend a bit more time with finalists while continuing to search for more. I cant imagine I will have all that much time off available so I have to maintain my career as well. I would not have the plan of making these trips a vacation as I do not want them to think my vacation mode is who I am all the time at home. I do need time to relax and unwind but I don't think a foreign country like Columbia is a place for me to unwind as much as I would like due to security risks. (Yes, I like to sit in the back of an establishment with my back to the wall so I can see what's coming). This is why I will avoid agencies that part of their ice breaking is to take guys to some club where the liquer flows freely. Nor will I go to a club with a woman there. Just a bad idea in my opinion after seeing several GI's go missing only for their bodies to be found in the woods behind clubs days or weeks later. To the point yeah, I realize it will more than likely not be a one and done, I just don't want this to be a deal where your starting from scratch every time. I hope i don't sound like an uppity prick but I just have a vision and a goal for this thing and I don't want to waste time and money by going in unfocused and treating it like a getaway or something like I have to commit to devise ways to get time as risk to employement or financial health to make it down there yet again.


Nothing wrong with being focused and having a goal. That will actually play to your advantage. You sound serious and sure about what you want and that's very important. If you decide to go with Jamie's I can assure you that you won't be spending any time in clubs. His translators usually won't even take you to places like that with a date unless you absolutely insist. If you're dating any girl at his agency and she suggest you go clubbing his immediate advice will be to drop her. Clubs obviously aren't a very good place to get to know someone and that's ultimately what it's all about. A girl that's sincerely interested in you will want to be alone with you as much as possible. Hell...when a girl really likes you they won't even want the translators around. Your 3-5 goal is a good idea but that can also present dificulties. What if you meet a girl that's the full package and she really likes you? A jealous Colombiana usually won't put up with you juggling options while she waits around to see if you eventually choose her if she values herself at any level. I know a guy that did that and he ended up losing a very good woman...regrets it 'til this day. Like I said...you really won't know how to play it until you put your feet on the ground. I've met dozens of guys with these "game plans" and they NEVER actually work out once they get to Latin America, regardless of whether or not they were eventually successful in finding a life partner. Entirely too many variables you can't predict. To find the woman you want, starting from scratch several times may be exactly what you have to do. If you want to get ready for this race, train for a marathon.


Agencies are only one of many options. There are some men here on the board and plenty of others I know personally that met their girlfriends/wives using different methods of introduction and communication.


Colombia can be very dangerous but most of the bad things you hear happening to gringos is something they brought on themselves, i.e. associating with the wrong crowds, narcotourism, not staying diligent and being aware of their surroundings at all times, venturing into the wrong parts of town, being flashy, etc. I wouldn't so much worry about security. Things are a lot safer than they use to be in the major cities. You don't strike me as a guy that would go down there and put himself in a position to become a victim. The "6'6", blue eyed, blonde hair thing will definitely attract some attention but what's much more dangerous is looking like a confused, lost sucker! Finding a good woman that shares mutual interest in you and your goals that is willing to work towards those ends is usually much more difficult than leaving in one piece. Depending on the city you travel to appreciating what the country has to offer while simulteneously dating is very possible so I wouldn't rule that out either. Cities like Bogota and Medellin have a lot to do and see and a lot of those things can make for great date locations and/or activities. Even I have a few spots in Barranquilla some locals have introduced me to that I really enjoy visiting when I'm there.


With your height you may want to consider Brazil. The average Colombiana maxes out at around 5'7" and most are shorter than that. Plenty of taller women in Brazil though.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2014, 11:49:13 AM by benjio »

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Advice
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2014, 01:48:46 PM »

The "6'6", blue eyed, blonde hair


Unless you are Dolph Lundgren   lol

Offline Calipro

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Re: Advice
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2014, 05:55:42 PM »
My thought is narrow down the list the first visit to 3-5 and maybe a couple more trips to A. Spend a bit more time with finalists while continuing to search for more. I cant imagine I will have all that much time off available so I have to maintain my career as well. I would not have the plan of making these trips a vacation as I do not want them to think my vacation mode is who I am all the time at home. I do need time to relax and unwind but I don't think a foreign country like Columbia is a place for me to unwind as much as I would like due to security risks. (Yes, I like to sit in the back of an establishment with my back to the wall so I can see what's coming). This is why I will avoid agencies that part of their ice breaking is to take guys to some club where the liquer flows freely. Nor will I go to a club with a woman there. Just a bad idea in my opinion after seeing several GI's go missing only for their bodies to be found in the woods behind clubs days or weeks later. To the point yeah, I realize it will more than likely not be a one and done, I just don't want this to be a deal where your starting from scratch every time. I hope i don't sound like an uppity prick but I just have a vision and a goal for this thing and I don't want to waste time and money by going in unfocused and treating it like a getaway or something like I have to commit to devise ways to get time as risk to employement or financial health to make it down there yet again.


I think you are over estimating your risk to life and limb on a trip to Colombia.


And you should realize that utilizing an agency is a huge limiting factor....I would venture to guess that 90 percent of Colombian women would never join one. But from what I can gather from your post....you don't have a lot of time to spend in Colombia so you  probably have little choice about the matter. You are going to have to some how meet as many women as possible that are pre-sold on the idea of marrying a foreigner...which pretty much means "marriage agency".


The problem I see with marriage agencies is that it turns the normal courting process on it's head. Instead of meeting a woman asking her out on a date and then enjoying each others company until you fall in love and start considering marriage.....You start off with the assumption that you are looking for a spouse from day one which often times makes the two of you critical of each other before even getting to really know one another.


I would go out dancing and drinking with women if that is something you would do on a date in the states....I would sleep with them and do everything else that you would do during a normal courting process.


The further away you get from "normal" getting to know you....are you attracted to me like I'm attracted to you ....the more potential for problems down the road. IMHO.


« Last Edit: October 20, 2014, 06:00:26 PM by Calipro »

Offline robert angel

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Re: Advice
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2014, 07:25:50 PM »
It's probably normal--maybe even smart and safe, to be paranoid about personal safety and hygiene on initial trips abroad to various locales. Not that the typical reality once you get there merits it, but better to be over prepared than under protected.

I remember my first trips, worrying about kidnappings---even head hunters! Worried about the being ripped off by shop owners, taken advantage of  the local people, poisoned by food, malaria--all kinds of stuff.

I think I got sick more from bad food, from cuts, bug bites and infections and had more gear stolen from me in Boy Scout Camp (different troops were always after other's stuff) right here in the USA than I have overseas!
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Offline benjio

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Re: Advice
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2014, 08:21:07 PM »

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Re: Advice
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2014, 08:21:07 PM »

Offline fathertime

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Re: Advice
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2014, 09:24:21 PM »

The problem I see with marriage agencies is that it turns the normal courting process on it's head. Instead of meeting a woman asking her out on a date and then enjoying each others company until you fall in love and start considering marriage.....You start off with the assumption that you are looking for a spouse from day one which often times makes the two of you critical of each other before even getting to really know one another.



Well Calipro I don't agree that marriage agencies turn the normal dating process on it's head. I think that for you this is an abnormal dating process, but I'd say for quite a few people this is a 'normal' dating process.  Look at a website like "Eharmony".  I've had several friends that have used that stupid site, one of them married his wife 8 years ago and has 2 kids with her in a little nuclear family unit.  That entire site is based on finding a 'lasting relationship' or marriage.  I think most people join that site, for the reason of marriage.    When my buddy in the states who is 46 goes out on a date from Eharmony, and recounts the details to me, he is already sizing up if this woman is 'marital material' or not...I'd suspect the women are doing the same thing...  To him, that is the normal dating process.   I don't see marital agencies as a problem for CERTAIN men and women, it is a facilitator.  Maybe for others it is uncomfortable because it puts marriage out there and that may or may not be what one or both of the participants are interested in.  All and all, I think marriage agencies if used properly are one of many viable ways to meet women....Certainly they may not be for all, but for some they present a good option.


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09/08Began writing/webcamming future wife
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12/08 Visited a second time and got engaged
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09/09Got married
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Offline robert angel

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Re: Advice
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2014, 09:25:17 PM »



Quote from: robert angel on Today at 07:25:50 PM

---even head hunters!





 ???



No, Benjio--it (Head hunters) weren't to fill corporate, executive positions either,  :o. But if you want, I'll give them your contact info!  ;D The area I was going, then three hours away (via a private, unmarked van, with trusted locals for security) from the city, was in an area that was once known for it's indigenous people--some of whom hunted and killed enemies and outsiders, then using a lengthily process, 'shrunk' their heads to wear as amulets. There are still some remnants of those tribes, but it's been a while since reports of such novel behavior occurred. Pretty sure I've heard them in the forest/jungle and I think even seen some--they just don't always appear as typically depicted in Indiana Jones type movies.

Then there are nearby areas where illegal, small time gold prospectors can get very mean if they think you're nosing around and trying to find gold on 'their' land. Often they're paranoid, out of their mind already on 'shabu', which is what they call crank--'methamphetamine' over there

On the other hand, Muslim extremists--terrorists, such as Abu Sayaff, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF), as well as the communist NPA (New Peoples Army) are a presence in very rural areas and sometimes make quick forays into villages and will kidnap and behead victims who don't attract ransom payments. They like to blow up electrical power line towers and blow up dams too. The Muslims, you can typically tell because they're rather 'rough on the edges' in appearance and heavily armed. The Communist NPA you typically can't differentiate anymore than you can a Methodist from a Lutheran in the USA--it's more like a secret political party affiliation than a lifestyle.

Oh the things we do to find beautiful women sometimes! But as said, private, (armed) security and just keeping a low profile and the risks were actually quite minimal. Been back there more than once and probably will return next year. You don't talk politics, religion or money--you just don't talk trash in those areas and you definitely 'dress down'. The landscape--with lush jungle, mountains, volcanos, hot springs and beaches, is incredibly beautiful. I've gone weeks w/o seeing a non Asian person.

Oh--there's also a LOT of 'black magic'--'witches' out there too and the locals are very afraid of them--of their 'spells'. their stares (evil eye) and of being given the 'evil touch'. But then paradoxically, they go for medical help to the 'good witches' and often get great results. I had a 'good witch'--(homeopathic, natural health care provider?) cure in two weeks  a fungal infection that six months of the best USA medical care--including 6 months of a drug so powerful they had to check my liver enzymes for possible damage at three months--didn't cure. I think I paid her $1.50 and the USA 'treatment' was a couple thousand wasted $$$.I have seen them take some kind of parchment like paper and laying it on the patient's body, actually conduct hard to describe, primitive  'Xrays' and make diagnosis based on the results. These people typically also know all the plants in the area, including their poison or curative powers. They believe that wherever nature places a poison, nature also places a cure for that poison close by. I don't know if they have anything to help you against the spitting cobra though--those snakes are deadly accurate too--often out to eight feet or more...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5dtpMj9Ehs
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/02/0210_050210_cobra_2.html

Still, all in all, it's not as dangerous there as it was for a white boy like me, hanging out in the Spanish South Bronx or Harlem, 'back in the day', as I was dumb enough to do sometimes. I remember some white buddies who went into Harlem to cop dope and the pushers not only took their money, but also every stitch of their clothes, including their Converse Chuck Taylors. They were left on the street, lily white high school boys, buck ass naked in Harlem, in the middle of December!

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Offline Fosgate5

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Re: Advice
« Reply #15 on: October 20, 2014, 09:44:03 PM »
Good tips. Keep them coming!

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Advice
« Reply #16 on: October 21, 2014, 07:59:13 AM »


I remember my first trips, worrying about kidnappings-


Even in Phillipines?

Offline utopiacowboy

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Re: Advice
« Reply #17 on: October 21, 2014, 05:01:54 PM »
There are a few things that might be good to know about Colombia and Colombians. Of course as with all generalizations there are exceptions and your mileage may vary.


1. Colombian women like their men to be well dressed and well groomed. True you might find a few who want a shaggy guy in shorts and sandals but they are suckers for a sharp dressed man.


2. They like a guy who pays attention to "las detalles". Not just polite but a guy who remembers what they like, special days and events and gets little gifts for them and their family members. I'm not one of those guys. In fact when my in laws were visiting for an extended period we had a whole thing about the saludos when I came home but that's another story.


3. They hate the American habit of slamming doors and windows whether it's a door in a house or a taxi. I delighted in slamming the passenger door of the cab before the cabbie running around the car could reach me. Of course this might get me killed one day.


4. They are usually late for any event. In Oklahoma we called this "Indian time" or "the pow wow starts when the pow wow starts". In Medellin they have a better appreciation of time and my wife is especially unusual in her dedication to being on time.


5. In spite of their reputation for violence (or maybe because of it) they are unfailingly courteous. If I am at a club with my wife, it would be unthinkable for a man to ask my wife to dance without asking me first. I like this characteristic.


6. Lines mean nothing to these people. Drives my wife crazy and I wondered how she was able to put up with it for so long.


7. Pedestrians are fair game in the street. No, cars will not stop, no, cars will not slow down. OTOH I have seen ridiculously trusting Colombian pedestrians counting on the driving ability of their compatriots in not running them over, i.e. sitting on the edge of the thoroughfare.


8. No dar papaya. Basically do not put yourself in a position to be taken advantage of - if you do, then someone must take advantage of you. This rule can explain a lot of sorry Colombian-gringo interactions.


9. The truth. What is truth? Colombians don't like a truth that cuts like a knife. They will avoid it completely if they can or skate around it if they must. When all else fails, lie. The best advice is don't put one in a position where they feel they must lie. The truth will come out later anyway.


10. Add yours here.....
« Last Edit: October 21, 2014, 05:06:31 PM by utopiacowboy »

Offline robert angel

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Re: Advice
« Reply #18 on: October 21, 2014, 09:51:56 PM »

Even in Phillipines?

As mentioned in my post, yes, there are certain, typically isolated areas and certain political and religious groups in those parts of the Philippines that have been known to use kidnapping for ransom and otherwise violent means as part of their agenda. I mentioned a couple, but not all of the splinter Islamic groups that basically are the source. They are divided even amongst themselves. It's really a very small area and very small percentage of the 100 million population.

Most Muslims I've met and done business with over there have been nothing but nice--there are a lot of Muslim merchants there and some of them have not only taken back goods I bought from them and was unhappy with, but they even gave me small gifts--calculators, mirrors and that kind of thing, for my trouble. That's almost unheard of over there. Typically a Filipino looks at something, puts batteries or whatever it takes to see if it works and if they buy it--it's theirs forever--no warranty. Same with buying a meal in a restaurant--a pork chop might be burned charcoal, but they are loathe to replace it with a properly cooked one or refund your money over there.

The extremist, militant, unfriendly to outsiders Muslims are largely confined to areas westerners do not go and they know well beforehand not to go to those areas. That's why the govt. gave them their own land/region.  In fact, it's an area known as ARMM --the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao that's largely populated by them. The govt. census says it's 90% Muslim. While in some parts of that area they have pockets of Christians, no one I know, certainly not western tourists and not even my wife's Filipino family, thinks about going there.

 Muslims, according to the govt., make up roughly 20% of Mindanao's population. A very small part of that Muslim population, is hell bent on the thought that they should have sole ownership/possession of all of Mindanao, an island that is bigger than the nation of Ireland and 125 other nations for that matter. The fact is that the Chinese and even longer before them, the aboriginal people, inhabited Mindanao many thousands of years before any Muslim set foot on the island. Mindanao has vast unexplored areas that are beginning to show large oil, gold and other resources. There's vast expanses of super high quality, old growth wood--They're basically just realizing the natural economic potential of Mindanao.


The Communists--the NPA--'New People's Army' originated north of Manila, on Luzon--the biggest island in the Philippines, but they have spread out (albeit very thinly) into most parts of the Philippines and they're almost like another political party, but there are a few in their ranks who will resort to kidnapping, blowing up power stations and such--but it's extremely rare. They're more inclined to political negotiation and realize that communism is pretty much a dying ideology.

But in almost the entire country, aside from areas that most are again well aware of potential trouble in, it's safer than most US cities. Nobody has ever even lifted a potted plant off the front porch of our home in Davao City.
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Offline robert angel

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Re: Advice
« Reply #19 on: October 21, 2014, 10:05:23 PM »
10yrs ago a brother of a friend married a woman through Latin Life Mates and I almost took the plunge to go there myself. However, I met a local woman who I thought was the one. We were together for several years and split just a year ago. I stayed in the town we moved to and finished my college degree in business admin management and minor in public health at the age of 42 just recently. After I broke up I lived in an apartment on campus dating women from 23-45. I moved back to my home area after I graduated and my parents fell ill. I spent two months setting up the care they needed and now looking for employment. I do not expect it will take long to gain employment and quickly stabilize my life financially as before college once again.

 I'm a goal planner who sees vision and I see no vision with the women I have dated. In the last year I have gone out with nearly 80 women and I just get the same ball busting, feminist entitlement, anti-masculinity, ball busting, "my life sucks and I want you in it, but I don't need a man", lying, classless, mean, spoiled, hateful females. Often they just wind up being some one nite stand or some crazy person you wouldn't trust to walk your dog.

So I have had it with local women you could say. I saw 4 women when I first got home and had enough. So I got online and have been digging through articles, reviews etc and see there seems to be many companies who do not have your best interest at heart. I have traveled extensively as I was stationed in Germany during my military days and spent time in Kosovo & Honduras. I am aware of many security risks but at 6'6, blonde hair, blue eyes, I stick out like a sore thumb there. So my plan it to go through an agency. I looked up Latin Life Mates and see many of the same pictures I saw there nearly 10 years ago. This made me start looking for other agencies like International Introductions like Jamie's. I've read his site extensively and looked up some of the complaints and still think I will use an agency like his provided I can find others to compare to. I would probably use full services like hotel, introductions, translator etc. (just got materials to learn Spanish) for many reasons from security to enhance communications and to bounce opinions off of etc. (I really don't want to make it a regular trip starting from scratch each time.) Probably won't do much with email etc until maybe a month prior to departure if at all.

Is it unrealistic to have expectations to formulate a plan to find someone with say a two week visit? I know there are many who frequent there regularly but I have no such desire to spend all my time off going to the the routine of searching for a few years etc. I was thinking get $10-15k set aside before I even think of making the first trip. What is the range of time from first trip before marriage are many seeing? Also, can anyone suggest any other reputable services? Any to absolutely avoid? (PM me those rather than publish maybe)

Sounds like you're a sensible fellow looking at this whole situation in an intelligent, pragmatic way. There's a lot of collective experience here and you may find it useful in your further pursuance of happiness. Good luck man!
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Advice
« Reply #20 on: October 22, 2014, 01:16:15 AM »

If you confront Ricardo (ACG) tell him "no goldiggers,no old fotos, no fake ages, no old profiles"..hell give you what you want..focus on the newer girls and weed out the bad ones.Actually better than any agency I have been to but never been to Jamies as I am not interested in Costenas nor visiting Baq.

I would avoid ACG (Cali) as I know a woman (met her) who faked her age by 10 years, so obviously she did not show them her ID /Cedula.  Not only this, but also fake date of birth lol.    Calicharm (no longer in operation) put her real age.   The woman told me that Calicharm lied, but in fact she was the one who lied, cos I once caught her ID with her real age.  I did it on purpose LOL.  Nice lady despite of her liar.  LOLt

Offline bernard

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Re: Advice
« Reply #21 on: October 22, 2014, 04:39:23 AM »
If you confront Ricardo (ACG) tell him "no goldiggers,no old fotos, no fake ages, no old profiles"..hell give you what you want..focus on the newer girls and weed out the bad ones.Actually better than any agency I have been to but never been to Jamies as I am not interested in Costenas nor visiting Baq.


Aren't you "supposed" to be in Kathmandu, Nepal?  Damn dude, if you REALLY did go, are you bored already? 

Offline InnocentVixen

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Re: Advice
« Reply #22 on: October 23, 2014, 11:00:21 PM »
I don't know Rob, is this guy really looking for happiness? sounds to me like he buying cookies, now, that is not necessarily a bad thing. If and only if he is perfectly clear on which kind of cookie he wants and he can tell them apart.


Fosgate, before you think I am one of those annoying women you are trying to get away from, please read my post, I swear I am not trying to be a jerk, this is honest advice:


- You either stop being paranoid, pack your things right now before you get a job and spend 3 months in Colombia to get it out of your system, understand the culture and learn the language.
- Or you get more experienced by talking to as many women online as you can from there and if possible date a few fresh arrivals back home just for the experience, they don't even have to be colombianas, get a date with ANY woman who has yet to be americanized! hell, fly a colombiana to you (one that speaks english and already has a tourist visa), will probably be cheaper and don't have to take time off work or be worried about your safety, think of it as an investment.


That way if you go to Colombia with the mindset of hiring an agency and translator to "pick one and stick to it" at least you have an idea of what you are getting into.




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Re: Advice
« Reply #22 on: October 23, 2014, 11:00:21 PM »

Offline robert angel

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Re: Advice
« Reply #23 on: October 24, 2014, 10:44:26 AM »
I don't know Rob, is this guy really looking for happiness? sounds to me like he buying cookies, now, that is not necessarily a bad thing. If and only if he is perfectly clear on which kind of cookie he wants and he can tell them apart.


Fosgate, before you think I am one of those annoying women you are trying to get away from, please read my post, I swear I am not trying to be a jerk, this is honest advice:


- You either stop being paranoid, pack your things right now before you get a job and spend 3 months in Colombia to get it out of your system, understand the culture and learn the language.
- Or you get more experienced by talking to as many women online as you can from there and if possible date a few fresh arrivals back home just for the experience, they don't even have to be colombianas, get a date with ANY woman who has yet to be americanized! hell, fly a colombiana to you (one that speaks english and already has a tourist visa), will probably be cheaper and don't have to take time off work or be worried about your safety, think of it as an investment.


That way if you go to Colombia with the mindset of hiring an agency and translator to "pick one and stick to it" at least you have an idea of what you are getting into.

IV,

I hear you, But rather than 'cookies' I think in terms of pursuing women abroad, starting on-line, it's more like he's the 'kid in the candy store'--only it's all new candy, including not just the language, but the culture. Plus the women --a lot of them are dazzling--the ego boost of having all those incoming 'interests'--it's pretty heady stuff.

He's never been married it sounds like, yea--he had a relationship for a while there, dated dozens of USA women--My question is he up to their volatile personalities that Colombian women often have--does he want to be a 'lion tamer'?  I prefer it rock steady--sure we have our share of disagreements, but they're not very often, they're rarely loud or drawn out and never public. I don't want kisses and hand grenades. We much prefer to save the 'boom boom' for the bedroom!

I was wondering about his prospects in the Philippines--there are a lot of educated, gorgeous women there and even though Fosgate's 6'6' tall, there's plenty of stunners that are 5'7'--5'8'. Ironically, they're so tall that they have trouble finding guys there that can accept their height and they're very open to--especially to--a guy with blonde hair and blue eyes--that's like Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket there. If I had a dime for every Filipina that openly or secretly wished to have a baby with a blonde haired, blue eyed guy, I'd be very rich.

Unlike in the Philippines, it seems to me you have to really put out a sense of machismo in Colombia with a lot of those women. I have that, and I'm no fruit cake, but I really don't like to pull out my "John Wayne'--'Vince Diesel' kind of swagger--I do sometimes, but only when I need to put the hammer down. Down there, I think I'd be hammering a lot. In the USA--they arrest you for having a hammer if you're not a working carpenter. Literally--by law--if you have a baseball bat or hammer in your car, and aren't suited up for either, they can arrest you! I know a guy who bought a new handle for his old axe, who was taken in when they found the axe handle in his car! And if you so much as raise your voice a little bit and say to a woman "Why I oughta......" they can say you threatened them and you'll go to jail! Seriously!

That's a heck of a learning curve to get around initially. I too, had worries, misconceptions  and stereo types I falsely bought into. 'Dating' on-line, although that's a dumb term for it, is a whole different game down there than say match.com in the USA. Concerns about getting played, about personal safety and more are things that I think most guys have initially, or at least should have, especially when you 'leave the country'.

Like you said about getting there for three months is certainly correct--he'd know for sure if it was the right ball park to be in, but I bet after three days down there, all his worries and concerns would subside and he'd be caught up to warp speed, taking in all ladies, especially if there's the smorgasbord that an agency like Jamies would provide. He's a bit more educated than some guys and the area around Jamie's isn't known for producing a lot of rocket scientists, but if you're not up on Spanish and the culture's new to you, I don't think you can go wrong with Jamies, from what I've heard.

All this talk is just that--'talk' and as you wisely pointed out--getting down there is the ONLY way to get anywhere. Just do it. Nobody ever learned how to ride a bicycle from reading about it. <---Hey--I kinda like that last phrase! :D
« Last Edit: October 24, 2014, 11:17:45 AM by robert angel »
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Offline Fosgate5

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Re: Advice
« Reply #24 on: October 24, 2014, 12:33:27 PM »

Fosgate, before you think I am one of those annoying women you are trying to get away from, please read my post, I swear I am not trying to be a jerk, this is honest advice:

- Or you get more experienced by talking to as many women online as you can from there and if possible date a few fresh arrivals back home just for the experience, they don't even have to be colombianas, get a date with ANY woman who has yet to be americanized! hell, fly a colombiana to you (one that speaks english and already has a tourist visa), will probably be cheaper and don't have to take time off work or be worried about your safety, think of it as an investment.


That way if you go to Colombia with the mindset of hiring an agency and translator to "pick one and stick to it" at least you have an idea of what you are getting into.

Thank you for your advise, I already started on option 2. I really doubt I will meet someone online that will amount to much but you never know. It does however open me up to the culture and appropriate questions to ask. As far as language goes I have the 5 part series of Rosetta Stone to learn Spanish with the Audio companion series. (I guess I see if she is full of it or not). I know from my experience of living in Germany that there is a difference between what is taught in books and how it is spoken in different regions as Germans speak slightly differently in areas of the country and many laugh at the German spoken out of text books. Though they really appreciate those who attempt.

At least this way it may prevent me from making fatal unintended mistakes before I go down.

 

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