Forum > Latin -> Introductions and Ice-Breakers

Greetings from southern California

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Shaky:
Hello, I’m new to this board. I’m in my mid-50s and live in San Diego. I’ve had some interest in international dating for several years, but only recently did I dip my toe in.
Just over a week ago, I decided that I wanted to look for women in Latin America and joined LatinAmericanCupid.com; this was after roughly three weeks on Fdating.com where I connected with some interesting, but ultimately incompatible women from FSU and the Philippines. .
The Latin American Site turned out to be a treasure trove of interesting women.
One of the first women I messaged, responded to me the next day and she and I bonded quickly over WhatsApp. She is from Rio De Janeiro, tall, late 40s with a pretty face and a body bigger than most men here would probably find acceptable; I think she is beautiful. She has a good education and has her own small business. Our conversations are always upbeat and we seem to have similar thoughts on things. We use an online translator to text over WhatsApp as her English ability is better than my non-existent Portuguese, but not nearly good enough to speak confidently. We did one video chat, which mostly consisted of us being able to see each other while we texted, but we still had chemistry doing that. Her smile is amazing.
Just as I was getting to know “Rio” I connected with “Panama” online. She is 20 years my junior, but otherwise similar to Rio: tall, beautiful face, gorgeous smile, and a little overweight. We have been texting over WhatsApp for just a few days, but we have really hit it off. She has a certain spirit to her that you rarely find. “Panama” is from a smaller town several hours west of Panama City. She is the kind of woman who can take my teasing and give it right back. As a salute to our age difference, she calls me “Daddy,” mostly because I told her it probably wasn’t a good idea. “Panama” has great spirit and passion, and is also a bit emotional and not as mature as I would hope (perfectly acceptable for a woman her age, I guess) We also communicate through WhatsApp through an online translator as her English is better than “Rio”, but still not great.
So, I’ve hidden my profile on the site and I’m talking to these two. Both of them want me to visit them (not a surprise).
After one week, it is obviously far too early to consider moving to a more committed stage of a relationship, but I have been considering visiting Rio. I would have to pay for my plane ticket and expenses once I’m there, but I would get a tour of Rio from a native, free lodging, and a probability of sex while I’m there.. Plus, I would get to know this woman. I need to take a vacation anyway, and this would cost not much more than other options I have looked at and I would get to see a great city. The biggest downside is that she tosses me out after a day or two, I find a place to stay on AirBnB, and have an awesome week in Rio.
Thanks to anyone who made it through my story. I just wanted to write it all down so that I could see it and then let more experienced people give me their advice. A few things that I just don’t know due to my lace of experience in this area:
1) Is it smart to take a trip to see a woman even though you know it is way too early to be moving forward in the relationship? The more I think about it, the more I’m leaning toward visiting “Rio” in Rio de Janeiro in December (I could also visit “Panama” as we have discussed a potential rendezvous in Panama City).
2) What is it like to visit a woman when neither of you speaks the other’s language? I enjoyed doing a call on camera with “Rio”, but it was frustrating to always go back to the online translator. Of course, it would be easier to communicate in person in some ways. Do people hire translators (the human kind) in this situation? That seems a little extreme as it’s just a chance to tour Rio and not negotiations for a peace treaty.
3) This is a bit unrelated, but one of them asked me about when they could work if they came to the US. I told her she wouldn’t be able to work if she came in on a fiance visa, but i wasn’t sure what would happen after we got married; would she immediately be able to work?
4) A catch all question: what red flags go up when you read my story?
Thanks in advance for any responses and please be gentle.

Elexpatriado:
Good..welcome.. a sane person...sounds like you have a little sense and not looking for a young airhead in her early 20s (or even 30s) with fake boobs and ass job..


Unlike the rest of us suckers..

Elexpatriado:
Red flag with the woman asking about work and visa so early. Forget about that one.


It is very difficult, and portugues is a difficult language, but you have to learn the language and spend some time living with them down there before even thinking of bringing them back to their own country.


I would suggest looking at immigrant latina (or oter type) women in their 40s (since you are open to this) in the US, good idesa. But go for ones that already have their green card. There are many Latinas in the uS on tourist visas, staying illegal, looking for a sucker to "fall in love" with them, so they dont have to pay the $15,000 to $20,000 going fee for a fake marriage to get their green card.


I know of some personally.

Elexpatriado:
Why the hell not just go over the border to Tijuana and further south?

utopiacowboy:
All I can speak to is the language issue.


When I first started communicating with my now wife online, I did not know any Spanish. None. We communicated in chat apps and I used online translators to write to her in Spanish. I quickly developed a basic proficiency in Spanish with a limited vocabulary.


When I met her in person in Colombia I carried a Spanish-English dictionary everywhere we went. We communicated exclusively in Spanish. Every day I would have a headache by night time. I would watch a Seinfeld episode on Colombian television just to see something in English again.


Eventually my Spanish abilities improved to the point that I didn't need the dictionary because I could just ask her what a word was and I could understand her explanation or ask further questions. 


Now fourteen years later, I am completely fluent in Spanish. I will always have a gringo accent of course but I can read novels in Spanish, listen to music in Spanish, watch television and movies in Spanish etc. I like being fluent in Spanish because the US is one of the largest Spanish speaking countries in the world. It opens doors to an entire cultural world that English speaking people do not even know exists.


My wife and I have communicated exclusively in Spanish our entire time together. Since we live in San Antonio, Texas her somewhat limited English ability has not stopped her from doing anything she wants to do. She has a good job as a production supervisor at the Toyota  truck plant here. In the years since, she has learned a lot more English and can understand much of what is said in conversation. At this point we could probably switch to English but I don't really care.


I would be very careful in establishing a communication pattern. If your goal is for her to learn English or she speaks a language with limited usefulness in the US, then you should try to communicate in English and limit the use of her own language. In my case, it became quickly apparent that I had better language skills than my wife and anytime that we did try to speak English together, it was an exercise in frustration. So we would always revert back to Spanish.


That's my story. Your mileage may vary.


   

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