Hello everyone! I'm new, and I have a little problem I want to ask about.

[Arctic Wolf]

Hi everyone!  I am new to this site.  I have spent a little bit of time looking for someone in the Latin America region.  I am 36, caucasian, and I have been having trouble finding a special someone here in the states.  I have always been attracted to latinas, so I figured looking for someone in Latin America would be a good idea.  I've used a couple of different sites... like loveme.com and colombiancupid.com.  I have been writing to a few women, but they usually stop writing back after a letter or two.  I'm guessing they, like me, are writing to different people and they are probably narrowing down their decisions... so I understand it.

My problem has to do with one of the ladies I have been writing to for a while now.  She is from Medellin.  My problem is, I don't know if she is real... or if it is someone trying to scam me.  Her first couple of messages to me said she is not educated because she doesn't have the money... and she wants a good education more than anything so she can be someone that can be respectful and make a difference in the world.  I found that very admirable.  However, her letters get more and more depressing each time.  Now she's telling me she has no place to live... and that she's sleeping in the streets and has no food.  She says she tries to keep up with me when she can, but there are delays because she has to pay money to use the cyber cafe... and since she doesn't have much money, she can't visit very often.  I figured it could be a scam... but I have given her multiple opportunities to ask me for money... and she has NEVER asked.

If she's for real... I want to do everything I can to help her.  However, I do not want to be a fool that will fall for a scam.  I am not rich.  I can't go make a trip to Colombia just to find out if this person is a scammer or not.  So my questions are... is there any way I can find out if she is for real?  And if she is... considering her situation, I would think it would be better for her to visit me instead of me visit her.  Would that be possible?  And if so, what would I need to do to get her over here?

Thanks!

AW

[utopiacowboy]

There's one born every minute.

[Ray]

... considering her situation, I would think it would be better for her to visit me instead of me visit her.  Would that be possible?  And if so, what would I need to do to get her over here?

 

Considering her situation, I would say that her chances of getting a visitor visa to visit you in the States is about 0.00

It does sound like someone is being set up for a scam…

Ray

[Alabamaboy!]

Scam. Even Ray and I both agree on this one.

[hennatoes]

If she doesn't have enough money for a place to live, she's obviously not going to afford a trip to visit you, unless she hitchhikes and tres veces se moja. And if she's in Colombia she can't hitchhike across Darién, and there's the canal, which is una cuarta vez mojarse. Better that you take a trip and see whom you can find in person.

Welcome to the site!

[Arctic Wolf]

And that's what I thought as well.  I figured it was probably a scam.  I just wanted to know what you guys thought... and if there was some way she could prove herself.  Thanks for the help, everyone!   

[Researcher]

   Senor Lobo, scam or no do you really want someone that has this many problems in your life?If you want to help someone, donate to a charity.If you want a wife find one that doesn't carry that many problems.Too many good women out there ,without all that drama, to choose from.




  Welcome to PL.

  Researcher

[william3rd]

My problem has to do with one of the ladies I have been writing to for a while now. 

Her first couple of messages to me said she is not educated because she doesn't have the money YET SHE COMMUNICATES WITH YOU SO HER LOW EDUCATION DID NOT STOP HER FROM LEARNING ENGLISH?
and she wants a good education more than anything so she can be someone that can be respectful and make a difference in the world. AMERICANS AND BRITS EAT THIS SHID UP!!!!  I found that very admirable. SEE WHAT I MEAN?  However, her letters get more and more depressing each time.  SETTING THE HOOK!!!!  Now she's telling me she has no place to live. BOOO HOOO HOOO, GRINGO, CANT YOU TELL I AM HINTING??. and that she's sleeping in the streets SLEEPING SOMEWHERE, REST ASSURRED, BUT NOT ON THE STREETS UNLESS HER BOYFRIEND OWNS A FIFTH WHEELand has no food NO FOOD OF HER OWN, SHE GETS FED . BUT SOMEHOW MANAGES TO SCRAPE TOGETHER A FEW CENTAVOS SELLING PENCILS AND SUNGLASSES ON THE STREET TO TALK TO A SPECIAL GUY.  She says she tries to keep up with me when she can, but there are delays because she has to pay money to use the cyber cafe AND PROBABLY HER PIMP AS WELL... and since she doesn't have much money, she can't visit very often. RUNNING TEN GUYS IS AN EXPENSIVE BUSINESS I figured it could be a scam.YES IT IS.. but I have given her multiple opportunities to ask me for money... and she has NEVER asked. SHE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO OFFER!!!!!! SHE PROBABLY THINKS YOU ARE DUMB AS A ROCK FOR NOT OFFERING MONEY YET.

If she's for real. SHE ISNT .. I want to do everything I can to help her THE WHITE KNIGHT RIDES AGAIN.  However, I do not want to be a fool that will fall for a scam YES YOU DO, YOU REALLY REALLY DO.  I am not rich YOU WILL BE LESS RICH IF YOU STICK WITH THIS ONE.  I can't go make a trip to Colombia just to find out if this person is a scammer or not GOOD POINT.  So my questions are... is there any way I can find out if she is for real? PROBABLY NOT WITH ANY DEGREE OF RELIABILITY- THE AGENCY IS GOING TO ESTOLL HER VIRTUES INCLUDING HER WORK IN THE MONASTERY WITH MOTHER TERESA.  And if she is SHE ISNT!!!... considering her situation, I would think it would be better for her to visit me instead of me visit her. IF SHE HAS NO HOME, HOW IS SHE GOING TO DO THAT?  NO HOME NO JOB NO MONEY NO EDUCATION- SOUNDS LIKE A SURE BET FOR A TOURIST VISA!!!!Would that be possible? NOT LIKELY  And if so, what would I need to do to get her over here? GET HER A SHOWER FIRST- SHE MUST BE PRETTY STINKY LIVING ON THE STREETS LIKE THAT. HOW'S HER MAKEUP LOOK? CLOTHES CLEAN? DOES SHE HAVE ALL HER TEETH? THEN SHE ISNT ON THE STREETS.

Thanks!
AW

Kidding aside- cut your losses. Go up to Jamie's agency where all the other kids go and see if you can find a real one. Read about loveme.com on this site. NOT THE WAY TO GO. . . .

[Alabamaboy!]

Kidding aside- cut your losses. Go up to Jamie's agency where all the other kids go and see if you can find a real one. Read about loveme.com on this site. NOT THE WAY TO GO. . . .

Where the other "kids" go? What exactly did you mean by that term William? I and many of the guys who have used Jamie's services do not exactly fit the description of "kids". I would like to hear what you were referring to if you do not mind, and I think the other guys and the OP might want further explanation as well.

[william3rd]

Sorry, dude- I dont plan on responding to you.  . You speak for yourself as an army of one. This post has merit and I dont see talking to you will have any positive result

[Alabamaboy!]

Sorry, dude- I dont plan on responding to you.  . You speak for yourself as an army of one. This post has merit and I dont see talking to you will have any positive result

Well maybe there are a bunch of other people who have used Jamies service in the past that are members here and are wondering the same thing. And I am pretty sure a newbie would not know what you are referring to. What is the harm in explaining yourself? Why would you get upset about something as simple as that? If you are going to continue posting cryptic messages like that, that nobody understands, what exactly is the purpose of your posts? What are you trying to accomplish?

[Alabamaboy!]

Let me ask the Original Poster, did you understand what William 3 meant by that statement about using Jamies? Would you like it to be clarified? Maybe he will respond to you since he is obviously not going to answer such a direct question to either me or Jamie.

[fathertime]

Hey Arctic Wolf,  I LOVE that avatar of the wolf/lobo!

This lady doesn't sound too good at this point.

Perhaps the sites you are using are not that good for finding a genuine gal.  Most of these attractive Colombian gals on those sites are getting dozens if not hundreds of hits from guys like yourself.  There is very little you can do to distinguish yourself from the others, until you make a trip to Colombia. 



Here is a good site many of us have met our wives through:
http://www.latin-wife.com/

There are other agencies out there too, but this one is my personal favorite.  Perhaps others will chime in, on the sites they found their women on. 

Good luck with the adventure!
Fathertime!

[william3rd]

Your "response," such as it is, is noted. I do not intend to see this thread go to the flame room just because you are out of control. Please refrain making yourself look worse than you already do. You do not have to follow me around; I choose not to answer your "question" as you are just trying to start another fight. You are not sincere in your query so try giving it a rest. . . .

[Alabamaboy!]

For the record William, I posted on this thread before you did so kind of hard to say I am "following you".

I am not looking for a fight. I do not know what you are referring to with a statement you made. I was just asking for a simple clarification of something you wrote. Where is the harm in that?

[william3rd]

For the record William, I posted on this thread before you did so kind of hard to say I am "following you".

I am not looking for a fight. I do not know what you are referring to with a statement you made. I was just asking for a simple clarification of something you wrote. Where is the harm in that?

 Give it a rest. . . . . you know exactly what you are trying to do.

[Jeff S]

I'm going to agree with, and amplify what Researcher had to say. Look at it this way: maybe she's lying, in which case, why would you send her money? Maybe she's telling the truth, in which case, why would you really consider a person either that incompetent or unlucky at life to be your life partner?

If that is indeed happening to her, it's sad, and many children and adults all over the world are suffering a similar fate. You can't help them all, but if your heart tells you to help out, I suggest contacting the Christian Children't Fund. They truly do good work with the most innocent and least able to help themselves.

In the meanwhile, get on with finding someone who can be your equal.

Save a damsel in distress and all you end up with is a distressed damsel.
- Dr. Laura

- Jeff

[whitey]

Arctic Wolf - welcome to P-L.

Further to what Jeff said, I think you need to determine what qualities you are looking for in a woman, and seek a woman with those qualities.  It seems like you are just going after whoever shows any interest in you, rather than searching for who and what YOU want.  This can be a recipe for disaster, especially in Colombia.

Is this the sort of woman that would be marriage material for you where you live?  If not, why would you consider her just because she lives in Colombia?  What level of education do you have?  What level of education do you want her to have?  What age range are you looking for?  Do you want kids?  Do you want a stay-at-home wife, or do you want someone who is going to work?  Are your religions compatible (most Colombians are Catholic)?  What are your hopes, dreams, plans for the future and are hers compatible?  Are you looking for a sweet, uncomplicated woman, or someone more challenging?

You won't believe this until you actually go to Colombia, but if you are a decent guy with a reasonable income, YOU will be the catch.  Have reasonable standards and don't compromise them. When you meet someone special, treat her well and you will be rewarded by better treatment, more love, and affection than 95% of the women in North America.

Good luck ...

[hennatoes]

Further to what Jeff said, I think you need to determine what qualities you are looking for in a woman, and seek a woman with those qualities. 

Amen!

Are your religions compatible (most Colombians are Catholic)? 

True, but there are many Colombians who belong to other denominations and faiths. I know several Colombian Adventists.

[michaelb]

She's probably thinking "I already told this guy I have no food and no place to stay and here he is telling people 'she never asks for money'. Am I going to have to hit him in the head with a brick before he understands the hints? Are they ALL that slow?"

[robert angel]

Lobo,

Welcome. It sounds like you're new to this process--this 'game' if you will, and I think that this lady has enough red flags that you should consider widening your net and taking more time, saving your resources and seeing what's available out there, female wise.

I don't think this gal you're talking about is the dullest knife in the drawer, in that she's not coming straight out and asking you to send cash money, but she's certainly dropping a lot of hints.

I'd bet that as you meet more women and learn about the culture and how things work down there, that this gal will still be available, should you for whatever reason, want to pursue her later. Sounds like it's too early to be narrowing your focus at this point to one or two women.

[robert angel]

You folks ever have problems with critters who just can't quit making dumb, illogical, destructive, irrational, and self serving actions? Reaffirming the axiom that the true defintion of insanity is repeating the same silly, even destructive behaviors--yet expecting different results?

For instance, I've had problems with armadillos coming onto my property and taking divot sized holes from my lawn, vegetable garden and flower beds, sometimes destroying what was otherwise a pretty peaceful place, even though I had tried technical safe guards like fences and chemicals, to no avail. It didn't make sense, because I didn't really have an environment that was fruitful for them--I tend my land carefully and have few grubs and mole crickets--the nasty sort of food these pests look for and that keeps them coming back

Sometimes, we can find ourselves dealing with persistent pests in ALL kinds of places--ones that can cause a negative overall effect on the environment and the above measures just don't work. Poison and weapons aren't feasible solutions.

Removing the food source that keeps these pests repeating their negative and self destructive actions usually does the trick. The once persistant vermin then usually find somewhere else to spread their pestilence, leaving the immediate environment much better for it. I didn't leave a lot of food out, by almost entirely eliminating the things that these vermin tend to feed on and the problem eventually pretty much went away.

My advice is that if there's a pest that's annoying you, even though it's really tempting to try and shoot it down-which too often only invites more prolonged problems, instead just try not allowing any food for it to eat and then spit back at you ---and it'll eventually move on!

[piglett]

good luck with those armadillos Robert they sound like they can be a real handful


pig

[z_k_g]

good luck with those armadillos Robert they sound like they can be a real handful


pig

Yeah, good luck, real pests and hard to get rid of the varmits!

[Arctic Wolf]

Thanks for the advice, guys.  You are right.  I am very new at this and I really need to start thinking a little more clearly.  However, let me clarify a few things.  First, she doesn't know any English.  It's the other way around.  I know a little Spanish, and I use an online translator to help.  Also, our communication at first wasn't so dark.  At first, she told me she had completed school but she just wanted to go into a medical school and needed to earn the money first.  It wasn't until several messages later until things started to take a major turn for the worse for her.

So initially, there seemed to be nothing wrong.  She was taking care of herself but couldn't afford the classes she wanted yet... it was a future goal for her.  I have no problem there.  I'm financially stable, but not rich, so I understand that money can be tight at times, and you might have to postpone classes you want to take.  So she seemed legit at the beginning... that's where she hooked me.  It wasn't until much later that she said she was starting to have problems.  And each letter, the problems were worse and worse.

You guys are right.  It would be illogical to take someone from the streets like that as a life partner.  I guess I wasn't thinking of it that way since it wasn't always like that in her letters.  Let me be a warning for some of you guys that are also new at this.  Even if things seem to be going well at the beginning, that doesn't mean the person you are writing to is not actually a scammer that is willing to put in a lot of time to gain your interest before lowering the bomb.

As for the comment about Jamie's.  I have no idea about that.  I guess I'm just too new.  Is it a good website for finding latinas?  I am currently writing to a couple of women I have found on AFA... I know you guys say they are bad, but these are women I tried to contact before I joined this site.  I still would like to see where it goes with the ones I am currently writing to... but I will be more cautious now.

Thanks again!

AW

[Researcher]

  Hey Lobo, that is the way the classic scam goes.I'm not saying that the woman is scammer for sure but it always starts out as needing money for school, then having debt problems and if that doesn't work they whip out the old "sick grandma" routine.I had one woman tell me she was in an accident and needed money for medical bills.She shows up on the webcam with her arm in a cast.A few days later the cast was gone.What a miracle!

 Be skeptical of those that ask for money or make a habit of telling you hard luck stories.

   Researcher

[robert angel]

My favorite scammer was the one who told me her family was in desperate straits because her father died, leaving them w/o any means of support.

A month or two later, I saw her on line and she must have forgotten a few details, because she told me her father had just died, leaving them in a bad way, yet again!

She never came straight out and asked for money either--many sites will ban women for doing so---but she didn't need to add violin music to make it clear that was her intention!