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Author Topic: the mistakes many men make going south.  (Read 9664 times)

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Offline mudd

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the mistakes many men make going south.
« on: August 17, 2017, 05:41:36 PM »
Ok, so some advice to men coming down here, thinking or hoping that all these pretty, affectionate girls are sweet, honest and are the type of girls for marriage or serious girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, Some are but many are not and they can hide their past and present pretty well. Even the families will hide it because it makes them look bad.
Im sure  some here will make comments, but this is more for guys who have never been south and have no idea what they might be getting into.

So ran into my lawyer yesterday in Medellin, he has many gringo clients, and unfortunately, many are in trouble with girls from Medellin.  For various reasons, but mostly getting involved with girls with checkered pasts or with girls they didn’t really know well. Some were stupid and new the girls past and went with it anyways and now paying the price. Some   didn’t learn it until too late because the girls are very good at hiding what they were doing before. some were webcam models, prepagos, on Tinder for  “ escort” ect  and its very difficult to even learn most of these girls past, or really what they are doing.

  A few had boyfriends in the barrio who  were still seeing the girls. Some girls seemed very normal, had normal jobs, in university but had double life. My lawyer told me one was even seeing a  girlfriend in the university once a week for sex and husband had no clue.

So if you want a girl for fun, great, have fun, but if your looking for some girl for something serious, you better really look at everything and not be blinded by her beauty/looks and affection. It will burn you later.

I learned this many years ago, the hard way unfortunately and before message boards or forums like this were around.. But I see, some men are still making the same mistakes.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2017, 06:15:43 PM by mudd »

Offline Ricardo1

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2017, 05:59:40 PM »

http://www.latin-wife.com/foreign-brides/



Not Knowing HerNot knowing the woman you are going to marry is a big risk. It is best that you make no assumptions about foreign women. Assume they know nothing about you and that you know nothing about them until you learn otherwise. While we help, by providing many important questions to ask and tips to know, you still have to see proof that her actions match her answers. There are many ways to learn the desires, character, and potential of the women you are interested in and still have fun. For example, take her to a casino. Most Colombian women will not know how to play blackjack, so teach her and play. You will now see how attentive she is, how quickly she learns, and how open she is to learning something new. You will also get other indications about her, such as how logical she is, how well she follows instruction, and the risks she will take with you money.


Activities together are the best way to see the real her. Passive activities such as watching television together, is an unproductive waste of the limited face to face time you have to know her. However, watching one quality movie together and sharing your impressions afterwards can be enlightening.



It is best not to trust anyone in Colombia until they have shown that you can trust them. This is opposite of my personal style, which in the United States was to trust people unless they give you reason not to, but in Colombia this view will not serve you well.  Take the time to know your woman. As for timelines, there are none. For some guys it can take years; for guys who are adapt at communication and observation it can take a few months. Whatever it takes, it wasn’t enough if you end up like these guys: I didn’t know my wife didn’t graduate from high school. I didn’t know my wife couldn’t learn English. I didn’t know she had worms. I didn’t know she was going to sit around all day and do nothing. I didn’t know she wanted me to wear a condom even after we married. It’s hard to feel sorry for guys that on a fundamental level didn’t know the women they married.


If you are going to rush into a life long decision and not really know the woman you are inviting into your life, then an unwanted outcome should not be a surprise.



Not Asking for Information from an Available ResourceWe are a source of information, but many men fail to seek our knowledge and sometimes to their own detriment. International Introductions’ website provides brief advice and practical insights on relevant topics, but it does not provide all there is to know. We know most men would rather figure it out themselves, and are not inclined to take advice, which is fine with us; however, for those who want added attention or insight, I am always available to share my experience, knowledge, and suggestions whether it is about a woman’s history or a technical, legal, or personal mater.




Not Acting Like a ManFor the most part you want to be yourself and have her like you for who you are. You should always be honest and truthful. Do not exaggerate your wealth or create any false expectations. However, if you are well-to-do, downplay this. If you find certain items or services inexpensive in Colombia, keep that to yourself, unless you want to be perceived as rich.


It is better to be perceived as a fair man instead of a nice guy.


Most Colombian men are very aggressive and forward towards Colombian women. While most of the women will complain about machismo men, they don’t necessarily like nice men and they certainly don’t like weak or timid men.


You are likely to garner more respect from the women by being strong, decisive, and in charge. You are expected to be the leader and decision maker. Set the expectations, and let her know if you see an unacceptable attitude or behavior from her.




On my second visit to Colombia I had just finished dinner with a very smart, good looking Colombian woman. We were in a taxi and she was talking to my translator when she stopped to ask me what we were going to do next. I said, since you’re so interested in talking to the translator, why don’t the two of you do something and drop me off at the hotel. Well, within two seconds she was apologizing and convincing me to change my mine, and I never had anything less than her full attention afterwards. Now, one can say, Jamie, you’re just a big attention seeking baby, and I would say yes I am and those are my expectations when I am with a woman; that is what I am use to and I won’t accept anything less.



You need to have a high regard for yourself and at the same time possess the qualities and values sought by women. If you’re a good man and a fun guy to be around, women will want to retain such company and show their appreciation and attention. If the woman you’re with doesn’t enjoy being with you, there are plenty of good women in Colombia who will.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2017, 06:02:13 PM by Ricardo1 »

Offline Calipro

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2017, 08:04:25 PM »


So ran into my lawyer yesterday in Medellin, he has many gringo clients, and unfortunately, many are in trouble with girls from Medellin.  For various reasons, but mostly getting involved with girls with checkered pasts or with girls they didn’t really know well.


Another almost completely useless thread that can be summed up as not all women are good and nice. jajaja

But I'll bite on the part that about the lawyer that has various gringo clients that are "in trouble with girls from Medellin for various reasons".

So what are the various reasons that gringos have retained your lawyer friend?
« Last Edit: August 17, 2017, 08:06:02 PM by Calipro »

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2017, 08:04:25 PM »

Offline robert angel

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2017, 08:19:39 PM »
There is NO substitute for time. Given time, the details, the 'bad side' inevitably comes out.

In the short time, especially in 3rd world nations, the girl, her family and friends, will go to great lengths to make a very 'positive impression' in effect,  selling her charms to you.

That said, if you look REALLY close and take, again, the TIME, you can glean things from her family and friends. A lot of marital break ups, dysfunction, people in jail etc, all adds up to something negative.

We're all created by our environment and whether it's language or behavior,  once we're teenagers, it's very, very hard to change dramatically.

NEVER marry someone because you feel 'sorry' for them or want to 'save' her from that terrible environment. Chances are it will back fire and come back m to bite you in a bad way.

I know, my first wife was an abused orphan as a child.

But hell, even dating in your home nation, we're typically all not really ourselves. Instead, we're on good behavior, trying to make a good impression, spending more money than we normally do, dressing better, like damn roosters in heat.

But after the honey moon, the 'attitude', the farts and warts, all come out. Reality sucks a lot of the time.

I deliberately acted worse than usual while courting my wife and told her about weather extremes here. I also did not mince words about the 9 to 5 rat race lifestyle,  about how USA kids, including my own, can be hell to live with.

I also took four years, which is way too much time. But one visit and a matter of months would've been fool hardy.
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Offline mambocowboy

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2017, 09:50:06 PM »
http://www.latin-wife.com/foreign-brides/



Not Knowing HerNot knowing the woman you are going to marry is a big risk. It is best that you make no assumptions about foreign women. Assume they know nothing about you and that you know nothing about them until you learn otherwise. While we help, by providing many important questions to ask and tips to know, you still have to see proof that her actions match her answers. There are many ways to learn the desires, character, and potential of the women you are interested in and still have fun. For example, take her to a casino. Most Colombian women will not know how to play blackjack, so teach her and play. You will now see how attentive she is, how quickly she learns, and how open she is to learning something new. You will also get other indications about her, such as how logical she is, how well she follows instruction, and the risks she will take with you money.


Activities together are the best way to see the real her. Passive activities such as watching television together, is an unproductive waste of the limited face to face time you have to know her. However, watching one quality movie together and sharing your impressions afterwards can be enlightening.



It is best not to trust anyone in Colombia until they have shown that you can trust them. This is opposite of my personal style, which in the United States was to trust people unless they give you reason not to, but in Colombia this view will not serve you well.  Take the time to know your woman. As for timelines, there are none. For some guys it can take years; for guys who are adapt at communication and observation it can take a few months. Whatever it takes, it wasn’t enough if you end up like these guys: I didn’t know my wife didn’t graduate from high school. I didn’t know my wife couldn’t learn English. I didn’t know she had worms. I didn’t know she was going to sit around all day and do nothing. I didn’t know she wanted me to wear a condom even after we married. It’s hard to feel sorry for guys that on a fundamental level didn’t know the women they married.


If you are going to rush into a life long decision and not really know the woman you are inviting into your life, then an unwanted outcome should not be a surprise.



Not Asking for Information from an Available ResourceWe are a source of information, but many men fail to seek our knowledge and sometimes to their own detriment. International Introductions’ website provides brief advice and practical insights on relevant topics, but it does not provide all there is to know. We know most men would rather figure it out themselves, and are not inclined to take advice, which is fine with us; however, for those who want added attention or insight, I am always available to share my experience, knowledge, and suggestions whether it is about a woman’s history or a technical, legal, or personal mater.




Not Acting Like a ManFor the most part you want to be yourself and have her like you for who you are. You should always be honest and truthful. Do not exaggerate your wealth or create any false expectations. However, if you are well-to-do, downplay this. If you find certain items or services inexpensive in Colombia, keep that to yourself, unless you want to be perceived as rich.


It is better to be perceived as a fair man instead of a nice guy.


Most Colombian men are very aggressive and forward towards Colombian women. While most of the women will complain about machismo men, they don’t necessarily like nice men and they certainly don’t like weak or timid men.


You are likely to garner more respect from the women by being strong, decisive, and in charge. You are expected to be the leader and decision maker. Set the expectations, and let her know if you see an unacceptable attitude or behavior from her.




On my second visit to Colombia I had just finished dinner with a very smart, good looking Colombian woman. We were in a taxi and she was talking to my translator when she stopped to ask me what we were going to do next. I said, since you’re so interested in talking to the translator, why don’t the two of you do something and drop me off at the hotel. Well, within two seconds she was apologizing and convincing me to change my mine, and I never had anything less than her full attention afterwards. Now, one can say, Jamie, you’re just a big attention seeking baby, and I would say yes I am and those are my expectations when I am with a woman; that is what I am use to and I won’t accept anything less.



You need to have a high regard for yourself and at the same time possess the qualities and values sought by women. If you’re a good man and a fun guy to be around, women will want to retain such company and show their appreciation and attention. If the woman you’re with doesn’t enjoy being with you, there are plenty of good women in Colombia who will.
Jaime' s insight into Barranquilla culture and the ladies is spot on...

Offline Chris F

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2017, 10:37:11 PM »

Another almost completely useless thread that can be summed up as not all women are good and nice. jajaja

But I'll bite on the part that about the lawyer that has various gringo clients that are "in trouble with girls from Medellin for various reasons".

So what are the various reasons that gringos have retained your lawyer friend?


Was going to ask the same question!!!!!

Offline utopiacowboy

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2017, 06:55:18 AM »

Was going to ask the same question!!!!!


Lol. Me too!

Offline mudd

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2017, 07:22:51 AM »
Quote
Was going to ask the same question!!!!!


divorce, jail in one case, losing their assets, house, apartment. child. why else would you need a lawyer  :o

Offline Calipro

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2017, 11:01:00 AM »

divorce, jail in one case, losing their assets, house, apartment. child. why else would you need a lawyer  :o


Divorce I can see....which would mean that they might have to sell assets, house or apartment to give her the half she is entitled to at divorce.


Divorce is and the separation of property is pretty much the same as in the states. She is entitled to half of the assets you accumulate while married.....which is important to remember.


I owned an apartment while married in Colombia but bought it before we got married. So she was entitled to half the appreciation of the apartment over the two years or so we were married....which didn't come out to much....few million pesos.


You could also lose assets if a woman lives with you for two years or more because she could claim a common law marriage down the road.


Aside from the story buen camino told about some dutch guy who's step daughter accused him of rape...I have never hear of any gringo getting thrown in jail over a woman.....only other scenario I can think of ....is if you get caught pimping like Jake or are paying an underage girl to have sex. Hopefully we don't need to be schooled on that.


Never heard of any guy that was paying child support.....losing a child....they will sometimes hide the child from the father if he pays nothing as punishment....seen that.


But you are never going to get full custody of a child with colombiana if the child is in Colombia....don't even bother hiring a lawyer.....just never going to happen...nor will the child ever leave Colombia without her permission.....so save your money don't bother hiring a lawyer to fight that.


Which leaves us with the Mudd's story of how some gringo ended up in jail....so when you get the time Mudd......lay some helpful advice on us and tell us the story of the gringo that got jailed.

Offline mudd

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2017, 11:18:09 AM »
true,  you have the two year common law here. live together for 2 years, she is entitled to half even if your not married.


the one guy who got thrown in jail was for  abuse,   guess was a fight, things were thrown and  he didnt elaborate but , police called, guy went to jail and now is fighting it and the divorce, so my lawyer said.


ever seen a pissed off Paisa??  :o


 this thread  isnt for guys like calipro or myself or others on here, its for guys who have never been  to colombia






Offline mambocowboy

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2017, 12:22:48 PM »
true,  you have the two year common law here. live together for 2 years, she is entitled to half even if your not married.


the one guy who got thrown in jail was for  abuse,   guess was a fight, things were thrown and  he didnt elaborate but , police called, guy went to jail and now is fighting it and the divorce, so my lawyer said.


ever seen a pissed off Paisa??  :o


 this thread  isnt for guys like calipro or myself or others on here, its for guys who have never been  to colombia
Surprised he got thrown in jail for DV. I know it's tolerated by a lot of women on the coast....

Offline Calipro

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2017, 03:12:04 PM »


the one guy who got thrown in jail was for  abuse,   guess was a fight, things were thrown and  he didnt elaborate but , police called, guy went to jail and now is fighting it and the divorce, so my lawyer said.


ever seen a pissed off Paisa??  :o


 this thread  isnt for guys like calipro or myself or others on here, its for guys who have never been  to colombia


Yeah...But don't you think the title of this thread should be titled "the mistakes many men make with women" instead of "going south".


I can tell you from what I have seen.....a guy is much more likely to need a lawyer's help... to deal with a gringa than with a paisa.


There really is no comparison to the legal and financial risks of getting involved with a gringa compared to a paisa....especially if your assets are in the states....just no way for her to get at them.


And they do next to nothing to guys in Colombia that don't pay child support. In the states they garnish wages, take assets, passport and sometimes even throw you in jail. Plus separation of property at divorce isn't anymore costly in Colombia than in the states.


I'd much rather take my chances with Colombian women over American.

Offline mambocowboy

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2017, 03:25:27 PM »

Yeah...But don't you think the title of this thread should be titled "the mistakes many men make with women" instead of "going south".


I can tell you from what I have seen.....a guy is much more likely to need a lawyer's help... to deal with a gringa than with a paisa.


There really is no comparison to the legal and financial risks of getting involved with a gringa compared to a paisa....especially if your assets are in the states....just no way for her to get at them.


And they do next to nothing to guys in Colombia that don't pay child support. In the states they garnish wages, take assets, passport and sometimes even throw you in jail. Plus separation of property at divorce isn't anymore costly in Colombia than in the states.


I'd much rather take my chances with Colombian women over American.
Agree, but if you bring a Colombiana to the States her behavior will change and her Spanish speaking friends will be quick to educate her on her new legal rights...

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2017, 03:25:27 PM »

Offline mudd

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #13 on: August 18, 2017, 03:28:29 PM »
goes both ways,  you never know, and worse if you actually brought up a girl from medellin to USA  or some other country.


but why take the risk, financial and emotionally, better just  dont be stupid,  try not to be blinded by some  cute girl who has a nice body,  is affectionate towards you, and you really  dont know her past..... just saying.

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #14 on: August 18, 2017, 04:02:37 PM »
Agree, but if you bring a Colombiana to the States her behavior will change and her Spanish speaking friends will be quick to educate her on her new legal rights...

True

But then we are going to have to start another thread about the dangers of being married in the USA

Jajaja

Isn't it a lot easier just to date women anyway

There really is no good reason to get married unless you plan on having children

And if she has your kids in the US then you are going to take a hit financially no matter what
Not even a prenup can save you then

Offline mudd

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2017, 05:16:12 PM »



There really is no good reason to get married unless you plan on having children




now days, would have to agree, especially if you have  assets or been married before already.  why take the risk unless you want kids. but still guys coming to Medellin, and still making stupid decisions. Dont know why when they come south, they seem to lose all common sense and  find all the wrong girls. go figure  ::)

Offline robert angel

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #16 on: August 18, 2017, 06:48:22 PM »
True

But then we are going to have to start another thread about the dangers of being married in the USA

Jajaja

Isn't it a lot easier just to date women anyway

There really is no good reason to get married unless you plan on having children

And if she has your kids in the US then you are going to take a hit financially no matter what
Not even a prenup can save you then

In a number of first world nations, especially parts of Europe, notably Scandinavian nations, 'marriage' as we know it, is a dying institution.

It doesn't make as much sense as it once did in a lot of places in the world, at all socio economic levels.

In some of these nations, having kids has also gone wayyy down, to the point where they actually sell a lot more diapers for old people than they do for babies.

They also don't have much in the way of a young industrial and service sector workforce, then they piss and moan about the immigrants they basically need to keep them in crossiants, H&M clothing and IKea furniture.
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

Offline mambocowboy

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #17 on: August 18, 2017, 06:58:57 PM »
True

But then we are going to have to start another thread about the dangers of being married in the USA

Jajaja

Isn't it a lot easier just to date women anyway

There really is no good reason to get married unless you plan on having children

And if she has your kids in the US then you are going to take a hit financially no matter what
Not even a prenup can save you then
Yes I wish I had the ability to live in Colombia ...so yeah any gringo in Colombia running into trouble like Mudd describes has to be really naive, stupid, and/or dating too far out of his league....

Offline Rschnb67

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #18 on: August 19, 2017, 04:02:21 AM »
I guess a farm girl from Antioquia. Was the way to go here 9 months and its better every day worst thing to happen so far is sending a few bucks back for a niece and I mean like 40 bucks once in a while

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #19 on: August 19, 2017, 08:04:06 AM »
i have noticed that the upper class in Medellin still get married,  but its between classes that never go blow their on status.


but back to the point, before you do get seriously involved and spent a lot of time and or money with a girl in Medellin ( yes you can say this about any country but men seem to get stupid in Medellin),  and i cant stress this enough, learn her past and dont be blinded by good looks, nice body and affection. will burn you later.

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #20 on: August 19, 2017, 09:16:24 AM »

Another almost completely useless thread that can be summed up as not all women are good and nice. jajaja




Come on Now ÇP. O completely diasgree with you statememt. Kudos to MUDD for posting something that has livened up this previous dead site.

Even though i will admit it his favorite subject

But that is what we are here for..positive or negative
« Last Edit: August 19, 2017, 09:18:23 AM by Elexpatriado »

Offline Calipro

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #21 on: August 19, 2017, 11:41:47 AM »

Come on Now ÇP. O completely diasgree with you statememt. Kudos to MUDD for posting something that has livened up this previous dead site.

Even though i will admit it his favorite subject

But that is what we are here for..positive or negative


I think Mudd should be a spoke person for the MGTOW movement. jajaja


Men Going Their Own Way[/size] ([/color][/size]MGTOW[/color][/size], pronounced ([/color][/size]/ˈmɪɡtaʊ/[/size][/size])) is a mostly pseudonymous [/color][/size]online community[/color][/size][2][/font][/size][/color][3][/font][/size][/color] supported by websites and [/font][/color][/size]social media[/color][/size] presences[/color][/size][4][/font][/size][/color] cautioning men against romantic relationships with women, especially marriage.[/font][/color][/size][5][/font][/size][/color][6][/font][/size][/color] The community is part of what is more broadly termed the [/font][/color][/size]manosphere[/color][/size].[/color][/size][7][/font][/size][/b]


I could write a book on how much better it is for men in general in Colombia vs the US when it comes to intergender relationships....so it is hard to really take anyone seriously when the talk about the potential pitfalls of Colombian women....without looking at what is going on in the US on a daily basis.


It just shows how completely out of touch he is with the overall situation.


I guess Mudd's advice is relevant for guys living in his small corner of the world...but it doesn't really make sense when you look at the big picture and the other options men have now a days.


Unless of course you want to join Mudd's MGTOW movement. LOL!

Offline mudd

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #22 on: August 19, 2017, 12:18:26 PM »
yeah its a little dead here, gotta stir the pot a little, love watching calipro the "cali whoremonger" get so riled up, its funny jaja


he never did say why he left cali after so many years there and wound up in medlelin , maybe burned too many bridges in cali or his reputation caught up with him there, im sure we will never know the real truth.  :o


but he does fit right in medellin. lots  damaged women here for him lol.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2017, 12:24:32 PM by mudd »

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #22 on: August 19, 2017, 12:18:26 PM »

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #23 on: August 19, 2017, 12:26:11 PM »
yeah its a little dead here, gotta stir the pot a little, love watching calipro the "cali whoremonger" get so riled up, its funny jaja


he never did say why he left cali after so many years there and wound up in medlelin , maybe burned too many bridges in cali or his reputation caught up with him there, im sure we will never know the real truth.  :o



The gloves are off now

Dont forgot you started it CP....everytime he posts something you attack

He has buen quite constrained Up to now


Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: the mistakes many men make going south.
« Reply #24 on: August 19, 2017, 12:29:13 PM »
Restrained is the correcto Word i want to use

 

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