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Author Topic: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?  (Read 40580 times)

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Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #25 on: December 31, 2019, 05:23:35 AM »
You are 52, and judging by the look from your picture 2.5 years ago, a young looking 52.  If you are concerned about her wanting a ripped stud, get your ass in the gym (you should be working out at your age anyway).   I am the same age as you, and I would not hesitate to marry a girl that age if I were out looking again. 

I just hope you can stand the mental mind [snip] of her having been with somebody else in the interim.  That is tough to take for a lot of guys (it would be for me) even if it is your own fault.


Yes, I do exercise regularly, generally eat healthy and do my best to live a healthy lifestyle. All I was saying was the guy she was with the last 2 years was a YOUNG and ripped Latin stud. I don't think the guy is a day past 30 years old. Not kidding myself to think I can compete with a 30 yr old (at least one who is in very good shape).

Twenty years makes a significant difference...I am certainly not the guy I was 20 years ago though I think I am holding up fairly well.

Just to answer about your age, though, I do not think it is a problem, especially if that picture of you is not misleading in some way as to your appearance.


Thanks. A photo can obscure a lot. Haven't we all been lured on a date with a "hot chick" we met online only to see reality is a bit different? 

That said, I am not wearing any make up. Jajaja. But I think that photo is more or less an accurate portrayal.



Offline robert angel

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #26 on: December 31, 2019, 08:01:02 AM »
@Fosgate & Fathertime: Thanks for your perspectives. Good points.

Fosgate: My concern about the age gap isn't so much about what other will people think as it is would the relationship/marriage last? On the risk/reward spectrum I am willing to take that gamble.

At this point the biggest obstacle is probably me and my ability to talk myself out of making a long-term commitment. I am going to sound shallow AF (As F*&k), but one of my rationales for breaking if off last time was her occasional bouts with acne. Not looking for a supermodel but told myself: I don't want to wake up to a pizza face.

I think stress and other factors contribute to it. And she often neglects her self-care to send money home to her Mom before she'll visit a dermatologist or purchase skin care products. Obviously, I have the resources to help her in this regard so she doesn't have to choose one over the other.   


I was very worried that the age gap would come back to bite me--that was a long time ago. That said, it still does bother me that the age gap will be more apparent physically in 15-20 years, so I take care of myself.


As girls her age often do, my wife had some skin complexion issues that coming to the USA helped a great deal. Likewise, dental and vision. She hasn't had a cavity in 15 years. Eyeglasses, then contact lenses eventually, then Lasik surgery, so no eye glasses/contacts anymore.


I am glad that with her enhanced appearance, including wardrobe and now occasional use of makeup, that she hasn't let her increased beauty appeal go to her head--she's still pretty much the same gal I met close to twenty years ago, amazingly. Yes, she drives a car, dresses well, speaks and writes English much better and has ascended into leadership positions in corporate USA, but inside she's still the humble, altruistic and patient barangay girl I met way back when.


The problem was and to be painfully honest, sometimes still is, is ME. I am a terrible procrastinator and even after I asked her to marry me, I took me forever to do the USCIS paperwork. I made myself think that it was way more complex than it actually was. I was a frickin worrywart, --thinking 'she's too good to be true' and so on. My wife had to leave her great (for there, it actually was great)  job back home (six 12 hour days a week, 7 days with inventory last week of every month) to physically be able to spend weeks with me. Then, I took literally years to do the immigration paperwork.


Finally it was too much for her incredibly patient and understanding self and she gave me a time ultimatum--to do it, get it done or lose her. I'm glad she finally did!


Women like that are NOT common--over there or here,

99.9% of women today would be likely be 'exercising other options'; monkey branching etc. With the internet ablaze relationships galore it's too easy. With how society has evolved pretty much everywhere, today you've gotta have a pretty good fast game while thinking wisely. Can't beat the man with a plan to execute,
« Last Edit: December 31, 2019, 09:11:51 AM by robert angel »
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #27 on: December 31, 2019, 09:12:30 AM »

Yes, I do exercise regularly, generally eat healthy and do my best to live a healthy lifestyle. All I was saying was the guy she was with the last 2 years was a YOUNG and ripped Latin stud. I don't think the guy is a day past 30 years old. Not kidding myself to think I can compete with a 30 yr old (at least one who is in very good shape).

Twenty years makes a significant difference...I am certainly not the guy I was 20 years ago though I think I am holding up fairly well.


Thanks. A photo can obscure a lot. Haven't we all been lured on a date with a "hot chick" we met online only to see reality is a bit different? 

That said, I am not wearing any make up. Jajaja. But I think that photo is more or less an accurate portrayal.




Hector a couple things

I think you have a bit of  a complex because you have been living in the States too long.Also like guys following ( though not  necessarily active on) this site you have a bit of what I call sheep shaggin syndrome". This is only a figurative expression and not to be taken literally. Not much in your case because you seem to date a lot of girls and are obviously not one of those fat , poorly dressed, redneck virgin or semi virgin gringos with body odor that are so common in Medellin now a days. You know the ones from Muskokee
Oklahoma, Chicken Lips Alabama or Moose Dick Montana. The ones who come down and marry the first prepago with 2 illegitimate kids they meet because " I'm in luv man!" ( said with a Southern drawl like only Terrence Popp could do).
I include guys from San Diego in the "Sheep Shaggin" category, because I know What s a " wiener roast" or "boyscout jamboree" it is there. Also most Euros and Australians are in this category. You would be shocked to find out how many come to Colombia and marry and sometimes import to their home country older women, less attractive, women with several kids, women who are or were prepagos or sluts..or any combination there of.

You are definitely not in the same category as these guys   but  I think you have been influenced too much by the feminist, politically correct  thinking in the US.Women who go after young men are glorified as " cougars".Men who go after younger women are" dirty old men" or " creeps".

Its funny where I come from in Canada People are quite respectful.The press and the media may say this,  people probably think that but would never say it to your face out of courtesy.

In Bucaramanga on the other hand, a large age difference isn't as common as in Medellin , Cali or Eje Cafetero or other parts of Colombia, allthough much more than in the US or Canada, but a certain portion of the population are very chismoso ( gossipy) and envidioso ( envious) and are always making rude disrespectful comments..sometimes within ear.range.

You are a good looking guy and young.You take care of yourself And you could find young chicks into your 70s.But there is no guarantee..the Grim Reaper is always stalking us..

I am 63 and in the gym..well some of those young guys in their  20s can do a lot more bench press than me, but very few can do 32 pullups or 65 pushups or 100 situps with 25 pounds behind their head. Even less can hike 20 km a day for 4 days in very mountainous terrain and then  get Up at 1 AM and climb a technical route on an 18000 foot Peak and then hike out 20 to 25 km for another 2 or 3 days .

Age is in the mind,as long as your health holds out.It all depends on how dedicated And commited you are ( I could be a lot more disciplined..being retired I spend too much time on this and other Colombisn Forums..bad habit).

Correct me if I am wrong but I think you are more worried about the " Monkey Branching" effect ..of taking a young attractive women to the land where men are men and sheep are nervous. This is a legitimate concern, as the majority of women are hypergamous by nature, especially a Latina who is interested in a Gringo.

It is a common fear. Even Calipro has expressed that fear. Calipro has been married to several Colombianas and brought them.to he states and got divorced.afterwards I believe. He seems to have limited his exposure financially and emotionally.Maybe you can get some tips from him.

Also I guy named Steve from Dallas ( who for some Reason was banned from this site) is still with a Colombiana 20 years younger for 10 years in the US..although she had a son..who would turn all but the most desperate sheep shagger off. Another resource.

Then there are the regulars on this site who have imported Latinas.


A lot of guys, including yourself who visit this site are way too concentrated on women. They should be having other hobbies and passions and get women off your mind.

I think it is the "scarcity" effect..

Living in Colombia even if I have issues with my GF, I know there will always be multitude of others out there available..so I dont have to think about women..I can do my own thing..travel, climb mountains, go back to Canada to ski, gym, volunteer work..dont get  so hung up on women..they are a dime a dozen( saying that I do " love" my novia).

You have to decide what you want Hector.Do you really want a family with children now? If yes better do it now ..and if you cant work overseas..bring her to the US test her out and  then if OK knock her up. But do all the research and investigation to mitigate the risks.Otherwise you will be procrastinating and waiting and end up like me at 60 in Colombia childless..which is not a bad option either mind you.

As far as the "Pizza Face" thing..yes you are being very immature and superficial.You can treat that very easily nowadays..though it may cost..see a dermatologist..where there is a will there is a way. Like Bengie said..the girls character is way more important . At 29.these occurenc es should be a lot less anyway.

Quite ridiculous really..you are worried about her staying with you when you are old and wrinkled and your balls are dragging on the floor yet you are put off by her occasional bouts of ACNE. Sounds bizarre when you think about it

« Last Edit: December 31, 2019, 09:49:30 AM by Elexpatriado »

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #27 on: December 31, 2019, 09:12:30 AM »

Offline robert angel

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #28 on: December 31, 2019, 11:15:02 AM »
Hector a couple things

I think you have a bit of  a complex because you have been living in the States too long.Also like guys following ( though not  necessarily active on) this site you have a bit of what I call sheep shaggin syndrome". This is only a figurative expression and not to be taken literally. Not much in your case because you seem to date a lot of girls and are obviously not one of those fat , poorly dressed, redneck virgin or semi virgin gringos with body odor that are so common in Medellin now a days. You know the ones from Muskokee
Oklahoma, Chicken Lips Alabama or Moose Dick Montana. The ones who come down and marry the first prepago with 2 illegitimate kids they meet because " I'm in luv man!" ( said with a Southern drawl like only Terrence Popp could do).
I include guys from San Diego in the "Sheep Shaggin" category, because I know What s a " wiener roast" or "boyscout jamboree" it is there. Also most Euros and Australians are in this category. You would be shocked to find out how many come to Colombia and marry and sometimes import to their home country older women, less attractive, women with several kids, women who are or were prepagos or sluts..or any combination there of.

You are definitely not in the same category as these guys   but  I think you have been influenced too much by the feminist, politically correct  thinking in the US.Women who go after young men are glorified as " cougars".Men who go after younger women are" dirty old men" or " creeps".

Its funny where I come from in Canada People are quite respectful.The press and the media may say this,  people probably think that but would never say it to your face out of courtesy.

In Bucaramanga on the other hand, a large age difference isn't as common as in Medellin , Cali or Eje Cafetero or other parts of Colombia, allthough much more than in the US or Canada, but a certain portion of the population are very chismoso ( gossipy) and envidioso ( envious) and are always making rude disrespectful comments..sometimes within ear.range.

You are a good looking guy and young.You take care of yourself And you could find young chicks into your 70s.But there is no guarantee..the Grim Reaper is always stalking us..

I am 63 and in the gym..well some of those young guys in their  20s can do a lot more bench press than me, but very few can do 32 pullups or 65 pushups or 100 situps with 25 pounds behind their head. Even less can hike 20 km a day for 4 days in very mountainous terrain and then  get Up at 1 AM and climb a technical route on an 18000 foot Peak and then hike out 20 to 25 km for another 2 or 3 days .

Age is in the mind,as long as your health holds out.It all depends on how dedicated And commited you are ( I could be a lot more disciplined..being retired I spend too much time on this and other Colombisn Forums..bad habit).

Correct me if I am wrong but I think you are more worried about the " Monkey Branching" effect ..of taking a young attractive women to the land where men are men and sheep are nervous. This is a legitimate concern, as the majority of women are hypergamous by nature, especially a Latina who is interested in a Gringo.

It is a common fear. Even Calipro has expressed that fear. Calipro has been married to several Colombianas and brought them.to he states and got divorced.afterwards I believe. He seems to have limited his exposure financially and emotionally.Maybe you can get some tips from him.

Also I guy named Steve from Dallas ( who for some Reason was banned from this site) is still with a Colombiana 20 years younger for 10 years in the US..although she had a son..who would turn all but the most desperate sheep shagger off. Another resource.

Then there are the regulars on this site who have imported Latinas.


A lot of guys, including yourself who visit this site are way too concentrated on women. They should be having other hobbies and passions and get women off your mind.

I think it is the "scarcity" effect..

Living in Colombia even if I have issues with my GF, I know there will always be multitude of others out there available..so I dont have to think about women..I can do my own thing..travel, climb mountains, go back to Canada to ski, gym, volunteer work..dont get  so hung up on women..they are a dime a dozen( saying that I do " love" my novia).

You have to decide what you want Hector.Do you really want a family with children now? If yes better do it now ..and if you cant work overseas..bring her to the US test her out and  then if OK knock her up. But do all the research and investigation to mitigate the risks.Otherwise you will be procrastinating and waiting and end up like me at 60 in Colombia childless..which is not a bad option either mind you.

As far as the "Pizza Face" thing..yes you are being very immature and superficial.You can treat that very easily nowadays..though it may cost..see a dermatologist..where there is a will there is a way. Like Bengie said..the girls character is way more important . At 29.these occurenc es should be a lot less anyway.

Quite ridiculous really..you are worried about her staying with you when you are old and wrinkled and your balls are dragging on the floor yet you are put off by her occasional bouts of ACNE. Sounds bizarre when you think about it

https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/35/aesops-fables/608/the-fox-without-a-tail/

https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/search/?q=Sour+grapes+
« Last Edit: December 31, 2019, 11:41:50 AM by robert angel »
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Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #29 on: December 31, 2019, 12:28:33 PM »
Hector a couple things

I think you have a bit of  a complex because you have been living in the States too long.Also like guys following ( though not  necessarily active on) this site you have a bit of what I call sheep shaggin syndrome". This is only a figurative expression and not to be taken literally. Not much in your case because you seem to date a lot of girls and are obviously not one of those fat , poorly dressed, redneck virgin or semi virgin gringos with body odor that are so common in Medellin now a days. You know the ones from Muskokee

You are definitely not in the same category as these guys   but  I think you have been influenced too much by the feminist, politically correct  thinking in the US.Women who go after young men are glorified as " cougars".Men who go after younger women are" dirty old men" or " creeps".

In Bucaramanga on the other hand, a large age difference isn't as common as in Medellin , Cali or Eje Cafetero or other parts of Colombia, allthough much more than in the US or Canada, but a certain portion of the population are very chismoso ( gossipy) and envidioso ( envious) and are always making rude disrespectful comments..sometimes within ear.range.

You are a good looking guy and young.You take care of yourself And you could find young chicks into your 70s.But there is no guarantee..the Grim Reaper is always stalking us..

I am 63 and in the gym..well some of those young guys in their  20s can do a lot more bench press than me, but very few can do 32 pullups or 65 pushups or 100 situps with 25 pounds behind their head. Even less can hike 20 km a day for 4 days in very mountainous terrain and then  get Up at 1 AM and climb a technical route on an 18000 foot Peak and then hike out 20 to 25 km for another 2 or 3 days .

Correct me if I am wrong but I think you are more worried about the " Monkey Branching" effect ..of taking a young attractive women to the land where men are men and sheep are nervous. This is a legitimate concern, as the majority of women are hypergamous by nature, especially a Latina who is interested in a Gringo.


Believe me, I reject most -isms or doctrines. But the one I do embrace is ageism....that is, you could put a gun to my head and I won't marry or get into a serious relationship with a lady in my age range.  In the US I am normally getting ladies in their 30's and that decreases in Latin America.

I have a very good friend (from high school days) who has always punched above his weight when it comes to getting ladies. He always had a great relationship with his Mom and he is just gifted at talking to anyone. The guy should have been in sales. We are the same age and historically he was always able to get pretty attractive (physically and mentally) girlfriends.

But I see him increasingly going for older (and not so hot) ladies because the options seem to narrow as you get older (the "cougar" effect as you noted). I have tried to clue him in on the "secret" of Latin America but he never takes me up on the offer. And his Spanish is quite good. He would rather chase aging celebrities on dating apps here in the U.S.A. Good, more ladies SOTB for all of us.

Not really worried about Monkey Branching though it is ONE possibility after you bring a lady back to the US, Canada, etc. The concern with the age gap is an overall concern that the odds are just not in your favor. Again, that won't stop me. But I think it is good to be aware of all the bad sh*t that could go wrong while still planning for an overall good outcome.   

« Last Edit: December 31, 2019, 12:30:25 PM by Hector_Lavoe »

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #30 on: December 31, 2019, 12:46:43 PM »

As far as the "Pizza Face" thing..yes you are being very immature and superficial.You can treat that very easily nowadays..though it may cost..see a dermatologist..where there is a will there is a way. Like Bengie said..the girls character is way more important . At 29.these occurenc es should be a lot less anyway.

Quite ridiculous really..you are worried about her staying with you when you are old and wrinkled and your balls are dragging on the floor yet you are put off by her occasional bouts of ACNE. Sounds bizarre when you think about it

Ok, lay it on me or pour cold water on my face!  Yes, the bolded portion above has come to my mind from time to time. Even with some acne, an aging dude like me should be thrilled to have a lady like that. Yes, I admit it and it is shallow.

But let me throw it back at you: Why is it your are dating a girl more than 40 years your junior?  For the philosophical discussions or are you just attracted to young, hot females.

This wingman buddy of mine here in the USA is 35 yrs old (Latino) and the dude cleans up. But he shared with me a photo without make-up of this girl he was seeing for a while. Damn scary. You see this girl in a nightclub and she is pretty attractive. Sans the make up and you want to run like wind.  Just looking to not be scared when I wake up in bed in the morning (not expecting Cindy Crawford in her prime airbrushed).     


 

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #31 on: December 31, 2019, 12:56:13 PM »
https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/35/aesops-fables/608/the-fox-without-a-tail/

https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/search/?q=Sour+grapes+

Dont worry Robert..I am.not jeaulous of Hector and even.less of you...if thats what you sre insinusting

My present GF is just as atractive as either of yours..but I have enough respect for her and myself and class to not go flaunting her over and over on the Internet (like you do not Hector..he is just asking for advice)

So now I guess I get banned :)

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #32 on: December 31, 2019, 01:17:29 PM »
Ok, lay it on me or pour cold water on my face!  Yes, the bolded portion above has come to my mind from time to time. Even with some acne, an aging dude like me should be thrilled to have a lady like that. Yes, I admit it and it is shallow.

But let me throw it back at you: Why is it your are dating a girl more than 40 years your junior?  For the philosophical discussions or are you just attracted to young, hot females.

This wingman buddy of mine here in the USA is 35 yrs old (Latino) and the dude cleans up. But he shared with me a photo without make-up of this girl he was seeing for a while. Damn scary. You see this girl in a nightclub and she is pretty attractive. Sans the make up and you want to run like wind.  Just looking to not be scared when I wake up in bed in the morning (not expecting Cindy Crawford in her prime airbrushed).     


 

Actually its a long story I never thougt she was so young.

As my friend said I just kept looking younger snd younger.

I started in my late 40s like you looking for women in their 30s because I wanted a kid.
It never worked out but I got in the habit of looking for younger ones.

This girl approsched me and I thought she was 25. Turns out it she  wa 18 or 19 ( another story)

Anyway maybe there is a bit of father and daughter type.relation there as I féel very protective of her and always trying to guide and mentor her and want to do whatever is required for her to get a better life and be happy. I am happy when she is happy and she says the same about me.

Anyway with the age and cultural  difference there is no gaurantee it will last. Like I said, we broke up once already, so I am not going to let it ruin my life it happens again.

On the subject of superficiality..my first Canadian wife was about 80 pounds overweight but I still.loved her and when she left me about 24 yesrs ago  I was devastated. You live with a person long enough you bond.
But when you are starting over your standards go way up and coming to Colombia even.more.

Still Acne, unless it.is a permanent thing is small potatoes which can be easily overcome.

I think the fact she could get a hot boyfriend maybe changed your mind?

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #33 on: December 31, 2019, 11:00:17 PM »
My wife struggled a bit with acne and dry hair, dandriff a bit when she first got here. Not all of it is diet or need of a dermatologist. Alot has to do with climate and cosmetics they are used to. Lots of knock offs out there that women use in other countries and even here when it comes to cosmetics. My woman liked to try and use what she has available in the asian market. Much of which would not pass FDA standards as there is some odd stuff in some of that. Some of it I still buy for her but she consolts with some of her fellow expats to find out what they are using as they already went through the same and found a good replacement product that works in this drier climate for them. Popular in asia is a product called TopGel that works great for clearing acne but it does not address the cause of the problem which is usualy a crappy cosmetic, soap or shampoo.


Aside from that, just wait a few more years. Men age much worse than women in my opinion.

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #34 on: January 01, 2020, 07:58:07 AM »
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« Last Edit: January 01, 2020, 08:01:56 AM by Elexpatriado »

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #35 on: January 01, 2020, 04:20:41 PM »
[deleted and posted below with better formatting]
« Last Edit: January 01, 2020, 04:45:13 PM by braziliangirl, Reason: add quote and info »

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #36 on: January 01, 2020, 04:28:15 PM »
42 year old age difference is a big thing even in Colombia but 20 year age diffrence in any Latin country is no big deal.


20-year age difference to me and to the people I know is a big deal. I don't know if Benjio's experience is different here in Brazil, but I very rarely see a couple with that much of a gap here and when people see they judge a lot. There's this 40 something woman at work who's married to a 60 something guy and, unfortunately, I see more people talking about that fact than about her work.

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #37 on: January 01, 2020, 04:43:40 PM »
I know three SINGLE women from Colombia and two from Brazil that have gotten them in the last year. The trick is going through immigration lawyers with American connections. It’s really all a question of money. And granted...these were women that had absolutely no intention of staying in the US. If a person has a steady job, a consistent residence or owns property, a ticket to go and return and enough money in a legitimate bank account it really isn’t that difficult.


Hey buddy, do you really think corruption is needed to get a tourist visa? I mean, is there really anything lawyers and connections can do? Even here I've never seen that work with Polícia Federal...


I wonder why people in this forum think it's almost impossible for latinas or asians to get a B1/B2 visa. See the refusal rates for FY18 yourselves:
- Brasil: 12.73%
- Colombia: 35.11%
- Ecuador: 32.15%
- Nicaragua: 46.75% (that's bad for Hector, but it seems a bit more than upper crust)
- Peru: 28.53%
- Philippines: 27.07%


Source: https://travel.state.gov/content/dam/visas/Statistics/Non-Immigrant-Statistics/RefusalRates/FY%2018.pdf


Of course we don't know what are the numbers for single women, but it doesn't seem to be that hard. I know only two people who didn't get the visa so far, and they were both men. All girls I know that tried, got it, even the single ones. And the people I know are not rich or powerful. Just normal people, even one unemployed girl got it!




I agree 100 percent. A 180 day trial with no impending matrimony would be great. But I didn't realize we were talking about tourist visas. Yeah, I think it is highly unlikely she'd qualify for a tourist visa.  I can't imagine the US giving anyone but the upper crust from Nicaragua a tourist visa. I could be wrong. I will research a bit more.



Just so you know how it works, at least for the Brazilians, its like this: once you're approved, they grant you with a 10-year multiple entry visa and every time you get in, they tell you how long you can stay, based on what you say to the immigration officer at the airport. They usually ask the purpose of the trip and how much money did you bring, some times what do you do for a living (at least that's my experience). The maximum of time they can give you to stay is 180 days.



I guess she can't say she's visiting her boyfriend at the interview, also that you can't get married if she enters the country with this type of visa, but maybe it's a good way for her to visit you and you spend more time together.


Anyway, its nice to talk to you again, guys! I'm happy to see many of you going strong.  ;D

Sorry for the broken English, it's been a while...



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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #37 on: January 01, 2020, 04:43:40 PM »

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #38 on: January 01, 2020, 06:31:44 PM »
My wife struggled a bit with acne and dry hair, dandriff a bit when she first got here. Not all of it is diet or need of a dermatologist. Alot has to do with climate and cosmetics they are used to. Lots of knock offs out there that women use in other countries and even here when it comes to cosmetics. My woman liked to try and use what she has available in the asian market. Much of which would not pass FDA standards as there is some odd stuff in some of that. Some of it I still buy for her but she consolts with some of her fellow expats to find out what they are using as they already went through the same and found a good replacement product that works in this drier climate for them. Popular in asia is a product called TopGel that works great for clearing acne but it does not address the cause of the problem which is usualy a crappy cosmetic, soap or shampoo.

Aside from that, just wait a few more years. Men age much worse than women in my opinion.

Fosgate: Thanks for sharing that info.

As for the bolded, in my case with a 20 + year age difference it is a legit point and could be my downfall (if this whole thing actually comes to fruition).

I spoke with a good friend today about this topic and he nearly chewed my ear off. To paraphrase he was like, "Stop being a picky idiot. She is waaay younger than you, etc." That is what a good friend is for...calling you on your B.S.

 


« Last Edit: January 01, 2020, 06:35:44 PM by Hector_Lavoe »

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #39 on: January 01, 2020, 06:34:31 PM »

I wonder why people in this forum think it's almost impossible for latinas or asians to get a B1/B2 visa. See the refusal rates for FY18 yourselves:
- Brasil: 12.73%
- Colombia: 35.11%
- Ecuador: 32.15%
- Nicaragua: 46.75% (that's bad for Hector, but it seems a bit more than upper crust)
- Peru: 28.53%
- Philippines: 27.07%

Source: https://travel.state.gov/content/dam/visas/Statistics/Non-Immigrant-Statistics/RefusalRates/FY%2018.pdf

Of course we don't know what are the numbers for single women, but it doesn't seem to be that hard. I know only two people who didn't get the visa so far, and they were both men. All girls I know that tried, got it, even the single ones. And the people I know are not rich or powerful. Just normal people, even one unemployed girl got it!


Anyway, its nice to talk to you again, guys! I'm happy to see many of you going strong.  ;D

Sorry for the broken English, it's been a while...



BG: Thanks for sharing the stats. Those success rates are higher than I would have thought.


Your English is excellent. No issues there at all.

Offline benjio

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #40 on: January 02, 2020, 01:28:47 AM »


Hey buddy, do you really think corruption is needed to get a tourist visa? I mean, is there really anything lawyers and connections can do? Even here I've never seen that work with Polícia Federal...


I wonder why people in this forum think it's almost impossible for latinas or asians to get a B1/B2 visa. See the refusal rates for FY18 yourselves:
- Brasil: 12.73%
- Colombia: 35.11%
- Ecuador: 32.15%
- Nicaragua: 46.75% (that's bad for Hector, but it seems a bit more than upper crust)
- Peru: 28.53%
- Philippines: 27.07%


Source: https://travel.state.gov/content/dam/visas/Statistics/Non-Immigrant-Statistics/RefusalRates/FY%2018.pdf


Of course we don't know what are the numbers for single women, but it doesn't seem to be that hard. I know only two people who didn't get the visa so far, and they were both men. All girls I know that tried, got it, even the single ones. And the people I know are not rich or powerful. Just normal people, even one unemployed girl got it!







Just so you know how it works, at least for the Brazilians, its like this: once you're approved, they grant you with a 10-year multiple entry visa and every time you get in, they tell you how long you can stay, based on what you say to the immigration officer at the airport. They usually ask the purpose of the trip and how much money did you bring, some times what do you do for a living (at least that's my experience). The maximum of time they can give you to stay is 180 days.



I guess she can't say she's visiting her boyfriend at the interview, also that you can't get married if she enters the country with this type of visa, but maybe it's a good way for her to visit you and you spend more time together.


Anyway, its nice to talk to you again, guys! I'm happy to see many of you going strong.  ;D

Sorry for the broken English, it's been a while...



You’re right about the age thing in Brazil. I think I’ve said that before...that it’s much more common in Colombia to see age gaps so wide. I think that’s a direct reflection of the level of education of the average Brazilian Woman compared to that of women in other Latin American countries. I also think there are a lot more professional job opportunities for women in Brazil so they tend to be a little less dependent on men. I’ve met maybe 3 Colombianas that were unmarried, paying for their own apartments and owned cars my entire life. In Rio and SP I knew dozens of them.

Sorry. I wasn’t trying to suggest that it’s a corrupt system. I was saying that immigration lawyers know the in’s and out’s of the visa process so well because they are educated by Americans that used to work at the state department...hence “connections.” If you can pay for a lawyer it greatly increases your chances of being approved the first time from what I’ve seen. As you can see I also said these girls all had permanent residences, jobs, they had already purchased round trip tickets, and they had money in the bank. I think these things are much more important than getting the lawyer. It surprises me you know a girl that got one without having a job!!! The immigration lawyer I know in Rio told me that’s one of the first things they’ll reject you for because they think you’re trying to go and work illegally. But I’m sure you have much more experience with people trying to get tourist visas. Almost all my friends in Brazil had business visas.

I also agree with you that it’s not really as difficult as these guys think getting a visa. Even with all these so called “crackdowns” on immigration by the Trump administration.

Nice to see you posting again buddy!!!
« Last Edit: January 02, 2020, 01:46:57 AM by benjio »

Offline braziliangirl

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #41 on: January 02, 2020, 02:15:01 PM »

Sorry. I wasn’t trying to suggest that it’s a corrupt system. I was saying that immigration lawyers know the in’s and out’s of the visa process so well because they are educated by Americans that used to work at the state department...hence “connections.” If you can pay for a lawyer it greatly increases your chances of being approved the first time from what I’ve seen. As you can see I also said these girls all had permanent residences, jobs, they had already purchased round trip tickets, and they had money in the bank. I think these things are much more important than getting the lawyer. It surprises me you know a girl that got one without having a job!!! The immigration lawyer I know in Rio told me that’s one of the first things they’ll reject you for because they think you’re trying to go and work illegally. But I’m sure you have much more experience with people trying to get tourist visas. Almost all my friends in Brazil had business visas.

I also agree with you that it’s not really as difficult as these guys think getting a visa. Even with all these so called “crackdowns” on immigration by the Trump administration.

Nice to see you posting again buddy!!!


I'm sorry I misunderstood you! I guess it happened because I'm used to see people using the "jeitinho" and thought you were suggesting the same. That was a legitimate question. I see so many things working here that way... Sorry again.


I know just one girl that wasn't working at the moment she applied, but maybe she had money saved or told in the application other person would pay for the trip, since her family is well off. In general, you have to be employed or studying. As for businesses visas, all tourist visas issued in Brasil are now B1/B2 (business and tourism). I've had a just tourism and then a business and tourism one and didn't notice any difference in terms of how long you can stay. I just had to change so I could go to work meetings.

Offline mambocowboy

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #42 on: January 02, 2020, 02:40:11 PM »
Fosgate: Thanks for sharing that info.

As for the bolded, in my case with a 20 + year age difference it is a legit point and could be my downfall (if this whole thing actually comes to fruition).

I spoke with a good friend today about this topic and he nearly chewed my ear off. To paraphrase he was like, "Stop being a picky idiot. She is waaay younger than you, etc." That is what a good friend is for...calling you on your B.S.

 
Yeah I wanted to bitchslap some sense into you too...The only 52 year old guys with hot 29 year old women in the US have ALOT of money. So yeah just overlook the acne. There will be plenty of gringos who will gladly steal your wife. Heck my wife is 38 with two kids and she's still getting wooed on a daily basis...

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #43 on: January 02, 2020, 04:05:00 PM »
Yeah I wanted to bitchslap some sense into you too...The only 52 year old guys with hot 29 year old women in the US have ALOT of money. So yeah just overlook the acne. There will be plenty of gringos who will gladly steal your wife. Heck my wife is 38 with two kids and she's still getting wooed on a daily basis...

Haha. Yep, agreed on all points! Some combination of fame and/or wealth.

And yes hot/attractive 38 year old women are hot commodities in the USA. Plenty of younger guys lining up to date them as well as older/wealthier guys.

Edit: Actually, your wife's experience concerns the hell out of me and I don't doubt you for a second. As I recall, your age gap is about 13 years.  A 20 + year disparity could be even more challenging to fend off the competition.

 
« Last Edit: January 02, 2020, 04:55:36 PM by Hector_Lavoe »

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #44 on: January 02, 2020, 04:18:11 PM »
On the topic of large age gaps, saw this story on Leo DiCaprio and his 22-year old girlfriend from Argentina.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/celebrity/exclusive-leo-dicaprio-frolics-with-girlfriend-camila-morrone-in-st-barts-after-she-defends-23-year-gap/ar-BBYwFR1

Quoting from the linked story:

"Camila recently spoke about the 23-year age gap between her and Leonardo, whom she has been dating since late 2017.

She told the Los Angeles Times: 'There's so many relationships in Hollywood — and in the history of the world — where people have large age gaps.'

The model turned actress continued: 'I just think anyone should be able to date who they want to date.' "
------------------------------------------------------------------

I just wonder IF DiCaprio was worth $50 million and had ZERO fame or celebrity would he still pull these hot young models?

I also wonder what he would be pulling if he was an anonymous accountant from Cleveland (with a standard balance sheet).




Offline mambocowboy

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #45 on: January 02, 2020, 06:59:42 PM »
Haha. Yep, agreed on all points! Some combination of fame and/or wealth.

And yes hot/attractive 38 year old women are hot commodities in the USA. Plenty of younger guys lining up to date them as well as older/wealthier guys.

Edit: Actually, your wife's experience concerns the hell out of me and I don't doubt you for a second. As I recall, your age gap is about 13 years.  A 20 + year disparity could be even more challenging to fend off the competition.
We have a 10 year gap. But yes men of all ages hit on her. She's very exotic here and of course dresses sexy so she draws alot of attention.  I see it as a compliment but also it keeps me motivated to take care of myself,  I'll admit that...

Offline robert angel

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #46 on: January 02, 2020, 08:55:50 PM »
On the topic of large age gaps, saw this story on Leo DiCaprio and his 22-year old girlfriend from Argentina.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/celebrity/exclusive-leo-dicaprio-frolics-with-girlfriend-camila-morrone-in-st-barts-after-she-defends-23-year-gap/ar-BBYwFR1

Quoting from the linked story:

"Camila recently spoke about the 23-year age gap between her and Leonardo, whom she has been dating since late 2017.

She told the Los Angeles Times: 'There's so many relationships in Hollywood — and in the history of the world — where people have large age gaps.'

The model turned actress continued: 'I just think anyone should be able to date who they want to date.' "
------------------------------------------------------------------

I just wonder IF DiCaprio was worth $50 million and had ZERO fame or celebrity would he still pull these hot young models?

I also wonder what he would be pulling if he was an anonymous accountant from Cleveland (with a standard balance sheet).




Too many coincidences above.The ages of Leo and Camila are eerily close to my wife and my ages, at least back when we married. My wife has long had a 'crush' for Leo, although she says he's let himself go--that he's not aging well. Look up his startling but hilarious impersonation of Jack Nicholson and you'll probably agree...


Still, she's said (it's been a while though) that Leo's the ONLY guy she'd leave me for


I sure am GLAD that he always goes for the tall (Camila's 5.9') South American bombshell models, because 5.0' tall is what I got and is just fine by me!! 


If I insanely let her go a dozen (or so, LOL) years ago, when she finally turned 25 or if she let me go for richer guy (such as an accountant/CPA)---we both agree that we'd have missed the very best years of our lives...Things have only gotten better!!!


That said, we've graphically discussed the realities of physically 'getting old.' Yet she always discreetly points out elderly people enjoying life together, including couples of different ages.


Tomorrows are promised to no one and if fate changed it all, I think we'd both be thankful for what we had. A whole lotta laughs and smiles, etc. Not a lot of money, but a lot of intangibly precious moments. I think IF we had a ton of 'big money' it'd have come with 'big problems' as is too often the case. Less has oddly meant more. Loving and working together, 'needing' each other, has helped.


Sure I've got more lines on my face than she does. After all, I've had miles n miles of smiles. She seemingly, as many have said--she must have been BORN with a smile!!




Pic from yesterday--1/1/2020...




« Last Edit: January 02, 2020, 08:59:29 PM by robert angel »
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Offline fathertime

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #47 on: January 02, 2020, 11:23:48 PM »

And yes hot/attractive 38 year old women are hot commodities in the USA. Plenty of younger guys lining up to date them as well as older/wealthier guys.

Edit: Actually, your wife's experience concerns the hell out of me and I don't doubt you for a second. As I recall, your age gap is about 13 years.  A 20 + year disparity could be even more challenging to fend off the competition.
I think there is a good chance your concern is misplaced.  Especially if it is concerning the hell out of you.   Young women are always going to get a lot of attention, so what you might focus on is how your woman is reacting to attention.  Is she soliciting attention, or lapping it up or conversely is she trying to downplay her looks, and discourage male interest? 


Your age gap is very large,  but must be totally ok with her otherwise she would have forgotten about you a long long time ago.  Perhaps you might look at what types of things you think would captivate her.  Hopefully you have some overlapping interests.  That,  coupled with a mutual child should give you a very good chance for loyalty from her.    If interests and goals don't mesh very well, and you are looking for a long term marriage, then you might consider choosing someone else. 


Fathertime! 
09/08 saw morena goddess on Jamie's website
09/08Began writing/webcamming future wife
10/08Visited BAQ to meet future wife
12/08 Visited a second time and got engaged
01/09 Visa Paperwork done(williamIII)
02/09quickvisit BAQ
08/09Wife arrives
09/09Got married
11/10 son born

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #47 on: January 02, 2020, 11:23:48 PM »

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #48 on: January 03, 2020, 07:38:03 AM »

20-year age difference to me and to the people I know is a big deal. I don't know if Benjio's experience is different here in Brazil, but I very rarely see a couple with that much of a gap here and when people see they judge a lot. There's this 40 something woman at work who's married to a 60 something guy and, unfortunately, I see more people talking about that fact than about her work.

Sounds like they are very chismoso and envidioso in the part of Brazil you come from..and in your social and work circle

I am 63 and rarely date a woman over 40 even in conservative Bucaramanga..but I am very athletic and young looking..as are other guys on this site Calipro, Hector, MUDD.

Even in Colombia, though it is not as bad as some parts of the US 'the majority of women " hit the walll" at 40 years old...or even 35.

The thing is where I worked in Canada, a young woman with a much older man is extremely rare, but there was so much pressure on you to perform at work, people jave no time to gossip.

But also it is a very.tolerant and respectful society. People will keep their opinions to themselves . They may say " yuck..look at that  old pervert with the young girl" privately but not within earshot.

The reality is 95% of wonen want to be with a guy their own age anywhere..at least when they are young.

But if the men.in thier social circl are all alcoholic lazy masoginist machistas.and are broke..they will be open to other " options"

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Be Careful What You Wish For - Roll the Dice Despite a 20+ Yr Age Gap?
« Reply #49 on: January 03, 2020, 07:45:42 AM »
Fosgate: Thanks for sharing that info.

As for the bolded, in my case with a 20 + year age difference it is a legit point and could be my downfall (if this whole thing actually comes to fruition).

I spoke with a good friend today about this topic and he nearly chewed my ear off. To paraphrase he was like, "Stop being a picky idiot. She is waaay younger than you, etc." That is what a good friend is for...calling you on your B.S.

 

A good gringo friend. Different perspective.

If you lived in Colombia you could afford to be picky.

But still the acne thing is minor and can easily be overcome.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2020, 08:01:50 AM by Elexpatriado »

 

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