New here and have lots of questions???

[jay5688]

Thanks everyone I have never traveled abroad so please be patient, I would like to know how long it takes to prepare for and actually arrive in Ecuador? What will I need to get as a US citizen to go and not have any problems or a limited amount . I have been talking to a girl there. She has a 6yr old daughter, my question is if we should marry what kind of thing's will I be looking at to get them both to the states. This is very hypothetical. I just want to know if I should only be talking to girls with no children because of any major road blocks with getting them here? Just to clear things up I love most of the kids not all <ha ha >so thats not an issue with me. I have been very interested in Kiltboys post's he seems to have paved the way for a bunch to follow ,thanks

[bundy_138]

Her having kids will not make it any harder if you decide to get married and bring her here.  If you decide to go the K-1 route, all you do is add the childs name to the visa application and thats it.  It may cost more in the long run for the adustment of status, but I'm no expert in that field.  The only difference I see with a women with/without children is the financial issue:  instead of having one mouth to feed, you have two.  That, and basic needs for both of them.

Bundy

[michaelb]

Well, maybe a little more than Bundy said. To bring the child to the U.S. you will of course need documentation for her as well, birth certificate etc. (all papers, for both mother and daughter, must be translated into English). The daughter must pass the medical screening by a U.S. embassy approved doctor as well. With some countries (such as the U.S. and Colombia) you need the other parent's permission for the child to leave the country. Better check with a consulate office from Ecuador to find out exactly what they require for the child to leave their country. If they require the father's permission and he isn't willing to give it, now you indeed have a problem.

As for your going there, you will definitely need a U.S. passport. Most likely Ecuadorian immigration authorities will issue you a tourist visa good for 60 or 90 days on the spot when you go through customs at their airport, but check with the consulate about that too, if they do require a visa in advance, that's who you would get it from.

[Kiltboy1]

Jay

You are going to love Ecuador as far as customs and immigration. Compared to Colombia, clearing customs and also leaving the country is absolutely a breeze. They hardly even notice you except they will check your carry on bags  just to make sure you comply with the US standards.As far as women with children, I am not in the same thinking as say Bundy or others, You should really ask many questions about how the child will be raised and also to make it clear that even though you are not the child's biological father, you will parent equal and will have absolutely the same right to discipline the child as if you were the child's blood father. Trust me on this one, I am speaking from experience, Any guy here that does not get this part clear before the woman arrives, they are only asking for more problems then they could ever possibly imagine. Get it straight before you pull the trigger on any type of Visa or marriage. Do not let the allure of the passion of a Latin woman, and i do not care what country she is from, cloud your judgement on children. Remember this is nothing else, "  THE ONE THING A LATINA VALUES MORE THEN ANYTHING IS HER CHILD AND YOU WILL GET CRUSHED AND KICKED TO THE CURB IF YOU DO NOT SET THE GROUND RULES NOW ! "
Ecuador is great and you can PM me for any information  that might help you .Go and enjoy time with your lady, but do so with your eyes wide open.

KB

[Kiltboy1]

Jay

Meant to add, you do not need anything but your passport, Thye will issue a 90 tourist visa at the immigration counter at the airport, very painless

KB

[Ray]

Jay,

STEP 1: Go to your local post office and apply for a passport. Do it NOW...it's good for 10 years.

If you should marry a foreign lady with children, the immigration laws make it very easy for her children to accompany her on either a fiancée or spouse visa in most all cases.

Like michaelb said, there could be potential problems if the biological father is in the picture and he wants to make it difficult. If the child is illegitimate with no father recorded on the birth certificate, then there should be no serious problems.

HOWEVER, KB makes a good point about raising someone else’s children. You have to discuss all the details in advance. If there is no father involved, then it would be quite easy to adopt her child after they arrive here and things get settled in. Just don’t ASS-u-me that you will automatically become the child’s father. Don’t make a commitment with a lady who has children until and unless all the details of fathering the child are worked out in advance.

Acquiring a ready-made family can be both rewarding and challenging and I salute the men who choose to take this route.

Ray

[jay5688]

Thanks so much guys for the answers. I am not commited to anyone yet but I have been talking to a women that has a child. I also wanted the info for future prospects. There seems to be alot of women that have children and are looking for someone. I don't know but I seem to attract this type. Just today I had a 22yr old email from peru, now I thinking somthings up with me being 37 and not totally over the hill but, not the greatest looker for that age group. She has a child so are they looking for a free ride or a way to the US? Am I being too cautous or what?

KB I am very interested in your travels to Ecuador. I have been reading your posts alot and learned a bunch. Thanks for your advice. I would like to know what you think about travel to Quinto then to Portoviejo to meet someone. Whats your thoughts about this area?
I also like yours and others thoughts about the women who work and finish collage. It says alot about there personality and what they expect from us. This girl tells me her sister who teaches school there only makes $280 per month as a teacher with 2 degrees form collage. Does that sound correct?

1) last thing should some one as new at this as me stay with an agency like latin-wife, which looks great by the way or is finding someone a do able thing without an agency. I am assuming from the posts that Jamie really runs a tight ship in screening the women who are scammers and not really looking for a serious realationship. Thanks again guys

[Jeff S]

I'd like to agree with those who suggested caution for marrying a woman with a child. I raised my step daughter from 9 years old to now she's an adult. Her father was totally out of the picture except for mandated financial child support. She calls me "daddy" and we couldn't be closer if we were natural parent and child. Her mother and I discussed her raising before we were married and I just lucked out, I think. She's been the ideal daughter. The rewards are substantial, but then again so are the risks. Children can bond you together or tear you apart, so go in with your eyes wide open.

- Jeff

[bundy_138]

I think the process is pretty easy to bring a child with your future wife.  Sure, she has to get a medical check, have the proper paperwork, etc, but you have to go thru the same stuff with the future wife.  It adds an extra few hours for gathering information if she does not already have it available.  The intital process for the visa only required me to list the childs name, date of birth, and address.  Real quick and easy.  The additional paperwork and medical will be for the interview process.

All in all, it depends on you as an individual.  When I was in my early 20's and had no children, I flat out refused to date anyone with a child.  Once I had my son, I looked at children in a whole new light.  Now I don't even think twice about it.  When you fall in love with a woman that has a child, it is a package deal.  You must love them both unconditionally or you are looking at a rough road ahead.  My novia has a 5 year old daughter and I love her just as much as I love my novia.  Do some serious soul searching and the right decision will come.

Bundy

[Kiltboy1]

I am sorry

Bundy, I have to respectfully dissagree with you. Yes, you can love someone unconditional , this is true, but I have been through this with my es wife from cali and you better bet your last breath that if you both do not discuss how you both will parent and that you will have the equil right to disipline  the child as if the child were your own, i do not care how much "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE " there is, the chaos that you will be involved with will be more then most can deal with. I am not going to go into the horror stories I had with my ex calena because they are in the archives i immagine. The vets here that rememebr my stories will concur with me  that you have to set the parenting ground ruls abslolutly , 100% before you pull the trigger. As far as visa paperwork, not much different but as ray said, if there is a biological parent still in teh picture, they can and have  made things very difficult to let the child leave the country. DAS , as it is called in colombia will inspect all papers and if there is not a signed document by a judge and the father stating they give permission for the child to leve, the child does not leave, period. Yes, things can be worked out and "PAYMENT rendered if you know what I mean. I speak from experience and if people want to take my advice , gereat, if not , great again. But i know what I am talking about on this subject and do not want any other guy to go through what I had to go through.

KB

[bundy_138]

KB, I never mentioned anything about both people raising the child?!  My post's only addressed jay5688's post asking "my question is if we should marry what kind of thing's will I be looking at to get them both to the states."  I was only pointing out the "process", not what happens when she gets here and you then have to come to a conclusion on how to raise the child/children.

However, I totally agree with you on that subject.  I've already had "the talk" with my novia about how her daughter, my son, and our future children will be raised.  I run a tight ship and she is well aware of how cultural differences clash when it comes to children.  We have an agreement and it is no longer an issue at the moment. 

Bundy

   

[Kiltboy1]

Sorry My Man

I misunderstood what you were saying. It's good you got that covered because I did not my first go around and I have spoken to other guys that just like me only assumed that they would be equil parents. The latina is different then say an AW. My ex american wife and her husband disipline my daughter and his two sons equil and that is the way it should be. No man should have to let his home become a chaotic nightmare of little unruly kids running around and there mothers making it clear that you are not there father.

KB

[Researcher]

Hi Guys, another good subject. I just have a question about the visa process when she has a child. What if the father of the child refuses to give permission for the child to leave the country?

[Kiltboy1]

Researcher

Read my post a couple up the chian, It can be a real mess if the father will not sign the papers to let the child leave. DAS in colombia and simular in other coutries require the father to sign the paper  in front of a judge. The father has the right not to allow the child out of the country, but usually for $$$, they will relent, lol.

KB

[Gator]

While my knowledge and "expertise" is mainly in Colombia, Ecuador is a beautiful country.  I have been married to a Colombiana for over for over twenty years and if you get the right lady you will have a partner for life.

You have received excellent advice in this post and you should reread, take notes, and repost any further questions.  My only advice is to check out a site called visa journey.com which is a site loaded with valuable up to date information, forms, how to complete the forms, sample letters, etc.

(http://visajourney.com/forums/index.php?act=home)

I was also like to say how impressed with the posters and direction this site has taken.  I was a frequent poster in months past but, quite frankly,  stopped because some of the posters were about as interesting as a repair manual and others were  a grievously reprehensible menace and nefarious, small-minded cacophonous catastrophes.

Glad to see some of the originals still around.

Best Gator

[utopiacowboy]

Hi Guys, another good subject. I just have a question about the visa process when she has a child. What if the father of the child refuses to give permission for the child to leave the country?

Well, you could always do what I did and find a widow. No fuss. No muss.

[fathertime]

Thanks so much guys for the answers. I am not commited to anyone yet but I have been talking to a women that has a child. I also wanted the info for future prospects. There seems to be alot of women that have children and are looking for someone. I don't know but I seem to attract this type. Just today I had a 22yr old email from peru, now I thinking somthings up with me being 37 and not totally over the hill but, not the greatest looker for that age group. She has a child so are they looking for a free ride or a way to the US? Am I being too cautous or what?
 

Without knowing anything about either of you, 37 and 22 seems viable to me.  I would not assume that she is trying to scam you.  I would not rule out ladies until they weed themselves out, by giving away their intentions (Either good or bad).  Caution is good because there are some gals out strictly for a free ride, but if you always assume that is the case, you will really limit yourself. 

) last thing should some one as new at this as me stay with an agency like latin-wife, which looks great by the way or is finding someone a do able thing without an agency. I am assuming from the posts that Jamie really runs a tight ship in screening the women who are scammers and not really looking for a serious realationship. Thanks again guys

Jamie's place is quality and I would say he is the best one to start with if you are travelling to Barranquilla.  His prices are commensurate with his superb service, so you will need to open your wallet a little.  I would consider attaining some email addresses and seeing where that leads you first. 

Good luck

Fathertime!

[jay5688]

Thanks guys for the advice, I will definetly research the visa website mentioned thanks for all the tips. I was just wondering if I was bitting off more than I could handle for the first trip out of the country to be in Ecuador for a possible wife. I wasn't sure if I should start with Jamies place first or just go to Ecuador and see how it was there. I am a little intimidated with the laws or lack of knowledge of the customs from either country. I guess I have watched too much news coverage about SA.I am not interested in the girl from peru but the women from Ecuador is 30yrs old and I can tell from her emails that she has her head screwed on straight. Its getting to the point that I would actually like to meet her in person.

I do want your opinions on one comment she made. When I ask her if I came there would I be able to see her and spend some time with her and She said  (If you are coming to my country we will receive in our house, I wil cook for you, and we teach the city and our customs) She is a chef in a 5 star resort and a collage degree in finance.

Do the wages for her country sound correct from my earlier post?

KB what about the trip from Quinto to Portoviejo is it difficult/safe for Americans? Also what is the general feel of Americans in Ecuador

[michaelb]

I do want your opinions on one comment she made. When I ask her if I came there would I be able to see her and spend some time with her and She said  (If you are coming to my country we will receive in our house, I wil cook for you, and we teach the city and our customs) She is a chef in a 5 star resort and a collage degree in finance.

Sounds fine to me. Don't take it as 'she must be desperate', take it as she's really interested and is willing to try hard to impress (and protect) you. I know this may  sound like double talk, but 'try hard' is different than 'desperate', if you understand what I mean. I'd say take her up on it. One thing you didn't mention, (or if you did, I missed) but if your conversations are that far advanced, either you speak Spanish or she speaks English (or a little of both?) or she at least knows how to use a computer translator program.  I know nothing of the wage scale in Ecuador, but that wage doesn't surprise me....but then food and rents will be in line with it too (although television sets, computers and cars etc. will probably still cost just as much or more than up here).

[Jeff S]

Well, Jay, since you've never traveled abroad, be prepared for some major culture shock. $300 a month in many countries is middle class. Then there are the POOR people. Lots of things you take for granted here in the US, like owning a car, and having clean safe water coming out of a tap in your home are privileges only the wealthy can afford some places.

Because the natural father in Colombia must approve of the child leaving the country, doesn't mean that is so in other countries. In Japan, my wife's ex had no say in his daughter's moving to the US, nor is that the case in Mexico. I don't know about Ecuador. You need to do some more research.

Above all else, have fun, take your time, and enjoy your international experience. My only advice is to keep your mind and eyes open. You won't be in Kansas anymore.

- Jeff

[Ray]

What if the father of the child refuses to give permission for the child to leave the country?

First, the visa process itself is normally entirely separate form the legal requirements to obtain parental permission to travel abroad. You may have absolutely no problem getting a U.S. visa for the child, but that child can not get on the plane with mom until any local legal requirements are satisfied.

If the father is involved in his child’s life, is providing monetary support, and is otherwise trying to be a good father, then I would not attempt to separate the child from the father by marrying mom and taking them out of the country.

Find out early in any relationship (1) if she has minor children and (2) if the father is involved in the children’s life. If the answer is Yes and Yes, then I would simply move on to someone else. You’ll save yourself a whole lot of grief that way. When in doubt, do what is in the child's best interest, not yours.

In the case where the father is not acting as a dad, find out what the child’s legal status is and how that might affect your plans to relocate them both. If the father is not named on the birth certificate or the mother has solid legal custody, there may be no problem.

Otherwise, if the father wants to be an a-hole, you may be in for many headaches and heartaches. Starting any lengthy legal battles or attempting to buy off the father for permission to leave the country is not advisable. Once you start paying him off, stand by for more of the same down the road. Mom will almost surely want to go home with her child for visits and depending on the country, the child may still require written permission from the father for subsequent trips abroad.

In any case, I would leave any communication or negotiation with the father entirely up to mom. It’s usually advisable to stay out of it and not get personally involved with the father.

My advice would be to find out everything BEFORE you get too serious with a single mom. If you are open to the idea of marrying a foreign lady with a child, I would try to concentrate on those where the father is either unknown or no longer among the living.

And I would strongly advise against the idea of mom marrying you and relocating to your country while leaving her minor child/children back home!

Ray

[chizz]

I agree with what the majority is saying here. Even though you hear stories of women trying to scam, not everyone trying to "scam the gringo". Believe or not, the scammers make themselves so easy to read, you'd have to be a fool not to see it. Problem is, some men make excuses for their obvious malicious behavior, because they have beautiful women who is showing them more attention than anything they would recieve in the states.
As far as the kid is concern, I myself don't mind a kid, and when I meet a woman with one, my first question is "what is up with the father?". I always ask this question, "If you and I were to begin a relationship, and possibly get married, You know your son/daughter would have to come to the states, would the kids father have a problem with that?" The last one I was dating answered, "it's okay, he could just have another one." Unfortunately it didn't work out. Like UT said, it's alot easier when the women has no child, but since I like women closer to my age(28 and up) chances are they would have one. Just some things to think about.
chizz

[bundy_138]

On my first trip to visit my novia, she went all out and cooked a huge dinner for me and had her entire family there to meet me.  I was treated like a king and her family made sure that I knew thet SHE cooked the entire meal for ME.  Probably the most important point in our relationship, I knew she wanted to make me happy.

If she wants to cook for you and show you attention, I would view that as a good sign.

Bundy

[Gator]

A heads up:  Ecuador, as does Colombia, requires a "“Permission for a Minor to Travel" letter signed by BOTH natural parents even if if one parent is accompanying the child.  If the father/mother can not be located or there are extenuating circumstances one parent can make application to the Juzgado de la Niñez y Adolescencia(children's court) or theTribunal de Menores (Juvenile Court) and, if granted, these courts can issue an order allowing the child to leave.  This will be accepted by immigration authorities.  If she does NOT have this she will get no further than the airport.  This letter is good for one year and must be notarized.

[jay5688]

I will ask about the childs father today. you guys are great. You have really brought up issues I never thought about. I will let you know the answers thanks