Another one abandons fiancée

[Kiltboy1]

Like i said
Guys marrying women 25-30 years younger then them and bringing them here as if it is "TRUE LOVE" need to be BITCH SLAPPED !!

NUFF SAID

[Fuzzyone]

Like i said
Guys marrying women 25-30 years younger then them and bringing them here as if it is "TRUE LOVE" need to be BITCH SLAPPED !!

NUFF SAID

   agreed 100 % and include guys that go to S.A. ,come back thinking a girl 20 25 years younger then them is actually in love with them and not the money!!

[doombug]

Random morsels from the Net:

"If I get a chance, I would like to go out with a foreigner because foreigners are cool and handsome. I would like to have a cute half-blooded baby if possible. However, I am not confident of myself to go out with a foreigner because I cannot speak English at all. But if I could get a free English conversation lesson out of the date, it would be a good idea to go out with a foreigner."

"[T]here are many outgoing women in Japan today but Japanese males are pretty sissy and I don't think they appeal very much to foreign women." [ ]

"After World War II, Japan became free and the number of international couples increased dramatically, although I personally do not think international relationships are ideal. Japanese people should marry Japanese people. Foreigners should marry foreigners." [ ]

http://www.japantoday.com/jp/popvox/354

12 Reasons Why International--Particularly Russian-American Marriages--Fail

1. Same factors that cause local divorces
2. Lack of mutual love
3. Language barrier
4. The resulting sensoric-informational deficit
5. Cultural differences in behavior
6. Resulting loneliness
7. Her liaison with family
8. Common traits and needs
9. Bride Fairytale Illusions
10. Exploitation
11. Savior’s Arrogance
12. Discardable partners

Further 'splained here: http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2007/01/07/some-reasons-why-international-russian-american-marriages-fail/

Finally, the pro-IMBRA, femi-lurkers would surely eat this up. Nevertheless, it's an interesting dynamic to be conscious of for those considering international marriage:

"A lot of recent research has shown that language and power are inextricably linked: 'All socio-communicative verbal interaction, at whatever level of formality or complexity, reflects the distribution of power among the participants.' In intercultural relationships the partner in whose native country the couple live is clearly privileged: legally, economically, and usually socially, too."

Table 3: Language choice and gender
 
Female partner migrates and uses the majority language with her partner:  22
Female partner migrates and uses her native language with her partner:  21
Male partner migrates and uses the majority language with his partner:  3
Male partner migrates and uses his native language with his partner:  1

"Table 3 shows that, in my sample, about half of the female partners find themselves in a doubly marginalized position, i.e. they have given up their status as natives and their status as native speakers. However, only three male partners find themselves in such a weak position."

http://www.linguistik-online.de/1_00/PILLER.HTM

Peace out, my fellow nut luggers^TM.

[Note: I'd have added an Urban Dictionary link to the recently trademarked expression mentioned above, but them foo's aint approved it just yet.

I'll re-edit this post later to add the link, as I'm quite certain that everyone here is ready and eager to learn its meaning.

[michaelb]

William: What do I know about you? Well, I know you have a "poor memory":

quote from your post @ 11:22am today:  Hmmm- I dont recall asking what she might be doing. . . . and, if you knew me better except from replying to one post, you would probably be rewriting your post.

Somebody is trying to be antagonistic. Doesnt work with me.


quote from your message @ 8:15 pm yesterday:
but- what precisely is she going to do in the US now?

People who say something and then deny it within 24 hours doesn't work with ME.

As for the family reunification business, I have two step daughters waiting in Cali myself, so I'm not too happy about how those INS clowns handle the people's business either.

[william3rd]

I asked precisely-

working under the table is a given. False docs. No chance of status. Not much of a life is it?

I dont think you and I will be having a beer together. . . .

[Calipro]

Like i said
Guys marrying women 25-30 years younger then them and bringing them here as if it is "TRUE LOVE" need to be BITCH SLAPPED !!

NUFF SAID

Are you trying to tell me that my wife doesn't really love me or I her?

Maybe your are right....maybe we just have over active sex drives. hehehe !!!

[Kiltboy1]

True Love

Maybe , maybe not. If you had very little $ or not a Gringo, would she still be with you ?? We all could ponder that thought all day and not come up with an answer, but in general, the 25-30 year age differences do not work  and sex has nothing to do with it as i m known by most of my chicas as " THE RABBIT"  , but still would not be with a chica with that big of an age difference because they are just too  uneducated and naive for me, i need more then a hot body, they are a dime a dozen and i have been with many hot boddies that i could not stand to hear them open there mouth. Sex is the last reason a man should be looking for a Latin wife. If that is the main reason,you will most certainly fail in the relationship and the mentality of  production line "I WILL JUST GO GET ANOTHER" is irresponsible, immature and perverted , so if the shoe fits OK , and if not OK.

[michaelb]

I asked precisely-

working under the table is a given. False docs. No chance of status. Not much of a life is it?

I dont think you and I will be having a beer together. . . .

-----------------------------------------------------------
"Precisely"? Well, I don't know "precisely" which business she'll be working at or what her job title will be, if that's the position you're trying to slick talk your way into. Just admit it, you renigged and got caught.

[Fuzzyone]

Are you trying to tell me that my wife doesn't really love me or I her?

Maybe your are right....maybe we just have over active sex drives. hehehe !!!

   Does she still live in Cali or did you bring her to the states?

[sean126]

Micheal B,

With all due respect.....I don't know what what your original point was that you was trying to make, but we might need to take a deep breath or take it to the flame room please.

sean26

[jm21-2]

I asked precisely-

working under the table is a given. False docs. No chance of status. Not much of a life is it?

I dont think you and I will be having a beer together. . . .

Umm...you know, it's pretty easy for an illegal to get through college and get a decent job. My brother has a few friends like that. They probably couldn't be a lawyer, but most schools and employers don't give a damn.

EDIT: Actually, with the state of lawyers here...hmm...they might let an illegal in on the grounds of diversity. I mean, talk about an under-represented minority! How many illegal immigrant lawyers do you know?? They could provide an invaluable new perspective, especially on immigration law...hahaha....

[papi]

after 500,000 FF miles, 200 pizzas, 50 agencies, 10 countries, a pair of tennis shoes and 1 camera...I can lend some clarity on you my friends: It is not black and white! Project MOB and colombia for that matter is a lot of gray. Happy hunting!

[william3rd]

If congress passes the damned DREAM act its going to be real easy. Come to california, get in state resident tuition rate, graduate and then get a magic green card. . . . .

BTW- there are a lot of FORMER illegals or "green card guys" who are attorneys now.

[jm21-2]

BTW- there are a lot of FORMER illegals or "green card guys" who are attorneys now.

But how many are actually illegal? Can you really know what an illegal feels if you have a green card? It's just not the same. Those green-card toting sell-outs have bought into white American culture entirely. (I'm joking...but I know law students who would say something like that seriously).

I think anything relating to illegals would be a lot easier to do in CA, from my experience.

How many illegals make it through high school and college? Not exactly a floodgate.

[Fuzzyone]

I must respectfully disagree. While I think some of the newbie optimism expressed here might be in for a rude awakening, a % of non-speakers do marry and succeed. Doom can probably tell you the numbers better than me and I don't argue that having spanish is a huge plus, but a guy can hook up and succeed without it. Case it point, look at our local pretty boy

   You seem to still be stuck on that " any newbie can get a wife and not know spanish!"  What is the % that do succeed you are trying to name numbers that no body here knows to show your case. How many men here that did not know spanish have their marriages go down in flames, do you think if they knew spanish that might have headed of the crash ahead of time? I think so because alot of men here have said if I only knew what she was like before I married her. To know no spanish is a invite to getting your pocket picked by your wife. If you don't know spanish how are you going to get to know the woman in the short time that guys meet girls and get married? So who is our pretty boy you are talking about?

[sean126]

Fuzzy,
If I'm not mistaken...I think he's talking about me. LOL. 

I barely knew any.  However, I've dated enough of a broad range of women (good vs. bad ones) to establish a pretty highly accurate B.S. detector and I wasn't in a "I've got to find a woman before I go crazy" state of mind when I went down south...or for a few years prior to that either.  Before I went, I was already content with being alone until I found the right girl.  I think those 3 factors...bs detector, your state of mind and the amount and range of women you've dated has a very great bearing on your success and decision making ability.  For me, and I'm only speaking about myself here and no one else....that was enough. 

I'm sure me and a very few others are the exception to the rule because I've met alot more guys who are totally oblivious to the sneaky, less obvious tactics of women than I have guys who are on top of their game....and that's when they speak the same language.  I can just imagine throwing some other variables in there.  Wow!!

I am definitely belong to the camp that believes that men should possess other qualities of more importance than learning the same language....but speaking the same language is still important though, it's just not as high up on my personal list as other men as far as a filtering method for sincerity.  Knowing if she's the right one for you or not...then it moves up on my list.  Reason being...for me, you first have to distingush between a good one and bad one for you and then you can narrow it down to "is this nice girl the right one for me".
But that's just me.

[utopiacowboy]

Just out of curiosity, Sean, do you now speak Spanish or does your wife speak English? What language do you communicate in? I knew very little Spanish when I started writing my wife but I picked it up quickly since I had been fluent in French.

[Calipro]

True Love

Maybe , maybe not. If you had very little $ or not a Gringo, would she still be with you ?? We all could ponder that thought all day and not come up with an answer, but in general, the 25-30 year age differences do not work  and sex has nothing to do with it as i m known by most of my chicas as " THE RABBIT"  , but still would not be with a chica with that big of an age difference because they are just too  uneducated and naive for me, i need more then a hot body, they are a dime a dozen and i have been with many hot boddies that i could not stand to hear them open there mouth. Sex is the last reason a man should be looking for a Latin wife. If that is the main reason,you will most certainly fail in the relationship and the mentality of  production line "I WILL JUST GO GET ANOTHER" is irresponsible, immature and perverted , so if the shoe fits OK , and if not OK.

I don't think that many super hot women will commit to a guy that has "very little money" so I don't have ponder that thought for too long. hehehe !!!

Uneducated and naive isn't too bad. Just as long as they aren't stupid you can teach them a thing or two. I don't mind being a mentor if she is really hot.

Don't kid yourself the only real reason to look south is because you want a better looking wife than you'll find here in the states.

Of course you have to like talking to them but there is no way in hell good conversation can make up for bad sex. Guys who can't tell the difference between good and bad sex would be better off just paying for it on an as needed basis rather than ever getting married that is for sure.

Don't ever fall into the trap that there is just one woman in this world that can make you happy. And no I don't think that makes me a pervert. LOL !!!

[Jeff S]

in general, the 25-30 year age differences do not work

Tell that to 2/3rds of the guys on the Asian Board. One past regular has a 48 year difference. After 5 years they're still happy and in-love. No he's not rich either.

- Jeff

[blockbuster]

No woman in the world can make a man happy. You have to find happiness within yourself first. This myth there is one person out there who can make you happy is the reason for so many failed relationhips because expectations bring dissapointment.
  
   Most people married for 5 years + will tell you the sex usually isn't so hot anyome. What you are left with is the real person" to deal with after the sexual passion dissapates. Most likely why the 7 year itch is so common. People also change. I heard a woman complaining about the fact she is just not physically attracted to her husband anymore. The guy had put on weight and it turned her off. Chances are maybe the weight gain is a turn-off to her, but she maybe is looking for happiness and he is not giving her that "high" anymore. Some people are addicted to the high you get the first few years you are together, not a real relationship.

[blockbuster]

Jeff,

 Asian girls are generally very different. Though they may not be happy, they will stay married because they value the honor of their families.Divorce is also forbidden in their culture.

   There are Filipina woman with huge age differences I agree. But ask yourself this? Why are Filipinas in the U.S. never interested in marrying men who are so much older? It is not the culture. But the simple fact the girls are very poor and they learn to sacrifice for their families if need be. The reason most Filipinas look at foreign men in the first place is to help family out. 99% will want to get a job here ASAP and send money back home. Or they will marry a man with a lot of money even if he is 80,to help provide.

  I don't think the 20-30 year olds married to the 60,70,80 year olds are really happy. The guy may be. But how fun is it really to hang out with geriatric folks, let alone marry one? Especially for a young girl.

[Kiltboy1]

CP

I 100% dissagree with you and guys with your mentality are the problem, I cannot remember one post of yours in the past year that did not mention having hot sex with a chica. You must be obsessed with sex, yeh ? Hot sex is not what makes a relationship , it is only one part and and we all go south looking for a more attractive woman, but to find the hotties  and make her purr and then beat your chest like some Tarzan is perverted.
KB

[doombug]

Damnit! Smells like someone left another flaming bag of shit in the forum air ducts again.

Never mind. I see what's giving off the foulness:

Asian girls are generally very different. Though they may not be happy, they will stay married because they value the honor of their families. Divorce is also forbidden in their culture.

"Asian" isn't a culture, of course. Korea, alone, proves this. According to one article, they have the third highest divorce rate in the world. (Strangely enough, blame is placed with the wicked mother-in-law.)

And what lurks behind the curtain that's luring the "Asian" woman--any woman, in fact--to divorce her man? (Look around. Most of these divorces seem to be initiated by women 70% of the time. Just like here in the good 'ol USA.)

One writer calls it the "crisis of modernity."

Another fills in the details:

"Invariably, when countries with very different cultures experienced significant economic growth, women's education increased greatly, and the number of children in a typical family plummeted from three or more to often much less than two. Divorce rates often exploded, men and women married later, and living together without marriage became more common.

[...]

"Similar changes have also occurred in very different cultures. Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and other Asian countries had rapid declines in birth rates from very high to very low levels as they experienced extraordinary economic growth during the second half of the twentieth century. Married children are much less likely to live with parents than before their economic development, divorce rates are rising, and married women have become active in the labor force."

http://www.becker-posner-blog.com/archives/2006/04/on_the_economic.html

I was just kidding about the flaming-shite thing. Don't take it personally.

[sean126]

Utopiacowboy,

We use dance interpretations to get our point across. LOLOOLLLOL. 

Actually, When I first met my wife I knew extremelyyyyyy basic spanish and the root words of verbs...I guess that's what you called it.  When I was in Barranquilla I would use a translator, but when I was at home calling her every night I had a spanish book in front of me.  Amazingly she knew what I was trying to say.  We couldn't be overly specific...but we knew what each other was saying.  About 3 months later I had her check out different English classes in Barranquilla to see which one she liked.  So, I sent her to English class and she went 5 days a week for almost a year before she came here.  My spanish has improved a little and I can understand what I read alot better than saying it , but since she's started her ESL classes here she has done so well that her teacher recommended her and she just got a part time job as a teacher's assistant at her school. 

Her being highly motivated and being a brainiac, she learned extremely quickly.  I was really shocked.  It was definitely money well spent.  I met her in August of 2004 and by Feb.2005 we didn't really need a translator when I went to see her.  By the middle of 2005 we could understand each other completely. 

It's only my belief, but I think their actions and how they handle themselves speaks VOLUMES more than what they actually say.  Knowing what they are saying...wether through a translator or knowing the language is definitely needed more and more as the relationship progress's from a filter of "is this a nice person" to "is this nice girl the ONE for me."  I was watching a show on Dateline or 20/20 about these grown adults ranging from the average joe to even a congress man who got duped by a scam based out of Nigeria, I think.  You know the one about... "I have all this money in a different country and I need help getting it out, and I will give you most of it if you help me". 
Well, I was thinking that if intelligent people can be so stupid as to fall for an obvious scam like that....just think of all the men (and women) who get duped by a foreign boyfriend or girlfriend with more (but not much more) sophisticated methods.  I think most don't want to admit that they really don't have much intelligence when it comes to filtering for red flags or deception.  They would rather believe that their bf or gf is the exception to the rule.   I have literally taken out hundreds of women in my 19 years of "dating years" and I only found 1 that I was sure of being the one--for me.  There were many very nice and beautiful women in my life, but only one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It's my opinion that...unless you have the experience with women to back up your confidence, then your only fooling yourself and your odds are dramatically increased for being "the fool".  One, because your over confident and two...because you actually lack a wide range of experience over the years with women.  I guess a third is...wether or not you actually learn anything from your experiences.  Some just keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Again, that's just my opinion.

[Parlay Rey]

Some just keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Again, that's just my opinion.

You do know that's the clinical definition of insanity, right? Not pointin' no fingers or nothin'. I'm just sayin'...