Introduction

[Vandervecken]

Hello!  I'm new to the forum, and looking for thoughts and advice.

A bit about me: mid-50s old, Caucasian, professional job, recently divorced.  Catholic.  My kids are grown and have their own lives.  My wife and I were members of a Catholic parish that was half Caucasian, half Hispanic (mostly Mexican.)  But as the divorce started up, my ex-wife had a big falling out with the church.

So now, I'm divorced.  I go to Mass by myself every couple of weeks.  And since the divorce is final, I've found the single Hispanic women are making time to "talk" to me after Mass.  They're younger than me for the most part, low 40s or so.  Most have some kids still at home, and their English skills are passable.  Many of them are very attractive.  And I'm not blind, I know they're possibly interested in me as a romantic partner.

I've never dated a Hispanic woman, but I've dated across cultural lines: my wife was mixed American/Korean.  I know how to ignore the "traditional woman" hype that dating sites like to advertise.  But I've never really spent time in the Hispanic community here.

So... I'm a newbie, looking for thoughts and advice.  I'm reading the forums and threads, but if anybody has advice for me, I would be glad to hear it!

Thanks!

[robert angel]

Welcome to P-L. You're in a good place, it seems. I'd take as much time as possible, more precisely as much time as it takes to get to know a woman without her giving up on you, tired of waiting.

That means at least initially, you can hopefully meet a number of the ladies and see how compatible you are for each other. Not saying 'play the whole field at length'-- I'm saying that you shouldn't rush things and let beauty get an edge over common sense and risk being hasty.

Eventually, you'll probably meet a woman who insists you be 'exclusive'-- so it's a bit of a timing and balancing act and you only have so much tIme to 'date around' once they know you're interested and avaiable.

You want to be known as a 'catch', not as a 'player.'

Be fair in acknowledging your strong and week suits and try and see if your less desirable characteristics might make for a poor contrast to how she is.  How patient and forgiving (yet principled)  does she seem to be? And vice versa. Things that might seem minor now could become wearisome later.

If my wife wasn't quick to get over things I do that annoy her, if she wasn't patient and forgiving, but principled and ready to give me advice and even criticism (in private) when called for, I'd be a lesser man.

Do you share the same hopes and dreams for the future? If she has children, how are they and how promising does the 'blending' between the two extended families appear? Mexicans typically maintain close familial ties, supporting one another. They can even be rather 'clannish.'

Beyond the woman herself, you can learn a lot by seeing how her family and friends are. Making friends with an older lady who knows these ladies---a Grandmother perhaps,  who knows the younger ladies, could possibly lend helpful insights.  Knowing some Spanish not only is helpful, especially with the elders, but shows them all that you have enough respect to try.

All too often, the prettiest aren't the best wife material. Guys being guys, we almost inevitably start with the cutest one. But again, the cutest one might not be the easiest one to spend years with if she's a high maintainanace nag after the honeymoon.

Some women can spend mortgage like money every month on clothes, purses, shoes and getting their nails done, especially if they see you have a good income. Initially note if she orders the most expensive thing on the menus and/or likes expensive gifts--things outside her normal income level. Some women get used to the 'good life ($$$) really quick and it's easier if they didn't have to work hard for the money. It all boils down to her values and how well screwed on her head really is---how stable. Again, a good older woman with inside knowledge, who likes and trusts you, probably has a bull sh!t monitor that can tell the flakes from the 'real deal' in terms of good women.

I don't know if you have an annullment, or if it's even expected---things are changing in that realm. It's really hard to tell, given how you and your ex attended the same church, but depending on how well he knows his parishioners and how he feels about his 'flock' perhaps the Priest can give you insights on particular women and their families. Priests vary greatly in personality and willingness to offer succinct guidance beyond 'follow your heart and trust in God'.

Low 40's age wise? I'd still try and get a feel if you need approval from her brothers, older relatives if she seems a bit traditional. Probably not the case so much nowadays at that age, but just showing respect without coming off as wimpy, can't hurt.

Mexican culture tends to be more 'macho', with the guy calling the shots, so there's a fine line you need to discern and walk, talk accordingly

She's probably not 'old school' but you should try and get an idea, especially if she's not going to work, if supporting her family financially is a likely possibility. We all are generally expected to help when a critical emergency occurs, but that doesn't include things lIke rent for parents, siblings, or hosting elaborate parties, paying for fancy gifts etc. Once you climb on that gravy train, it never ends. Mexicans are legendary for sending money home to help out. It's noble, but if that's the case, hopefully she's working and you're not sending a lot of your income.

I'd also keep first dates close to the church/neighborhood,  perhaps a modest lunch after Mass.If they go good, you might get invited to family events later or introduce her to your circle.  Don't act like a big shot, big spender and hopefully she won't expect you to act like one later.

It's so much better in your situation than having to travel far to see her for a week or two here and there. It'd be great insight if you could be invited into their cultural  events, parties, festivals etc.

Try and learn as much about not only her, but about her culture as well. It can be interesting and probably funny, but don't laugh at it!  If she seems superstitious, just roll with it. Don't shy away from the food, If she's worth her salt, she probably has pride in her nation and it's cultural background. SHE can criticize it, but you best be interested, but tread lightly in laughing at it, never mind criticizing it.

It sounds to me like a great situation, one where even if it doesn't lead to marriage, you'll make new friends and have enjoyable times, exploring new experiences.

Reach!

[Rschnb67]

Get ready for harsh critism from a few guys what I mean is only a couple guys no matter what you say will rip you apart when you're happy and you were sharing a looking for advice they will tell you why you're doing everything wrong I stopped posting for the most part just read occasionally. But not everybody just a few

[robert angel]

Get ready for harsh critism from a few guys what I mean is only a couple guys no matter what you say will rip you apart when you're happy and you were sharing a looking for advice they will tell you why you're doing everything wrong I stopped posting for the most part just read occasionally. But not everybody just a few

Rschnb67, I realize you're not making a blanket statement, but aside from close family you interact with and 'perhaps' a friend or two, who's advice and friendship you've come to value--- as has been said before; "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind".

This is about you and her, hopefully making each other happy 365 days a year, not what about other people think. Besides, my wife's quite a bit younger than me, highly educated, it's common consensus that she's pretty inside and out. I could see how people would wonder why she didn't marry some rich guy closer to her age. In fact , an Airline pilot and a Chicago surgeon were interested in her--guys who make several times more money than me, with the big houses, fancy cars, all the trappings of the wealthy.

But in going on 11 years married (and we were together 4 years before that) I think two people--total strangers, we're heard uttering stupid comments under their breath. One was a fat old lady who thought we took cuts in a line, another was at a resale shop. Real classy strangers. But nobody in our social circle or work.

As for ''social circle'-- be careful there. Jealousy and bad advice can be abundant there. Divorcees can be happy to hand out their lawyer's card, explaining the wonderful house, car, the alimony etc, that she got. We go to some social functions for people from both our nationalities, but not too often. We try and be nice to all, but choose our 'friends' carefully. Lot of people looking for gossip out there, they're not even beyond making gossip up--lies. There's a lot of back biting and gossip out there and while my wife's aware, she and I have lived our lives and raised my kids to the point where b.s. gossip wouldn't be very believable.

Hopefully, these women have been in the USA a few years and know that the allure of 'The Land of Milk and Honey" isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Hopefully they've in a sense been 'vaccinated' by USA reality and aren't green gringos who might have trouble adjusting to a new life, a new culture, church and life without an existing support group already nearby.

Really, this sounds like a much better situation by far that going to another country on limited time and spending a ton of money between travel and USCIS, and having a shot at a decent girl. Not saying all the girls you meet at church or the library are angelic, but I think the odds are better than on a Cupid site or at a nightclub in Mexico. At the risk of sounding crude (oh well, sometimes I am!) This scenario is not only like being able to get fish out of the barrel, but  from what's probably a pretty good barrel of nice fish, without over extending your time, finances or energy.

Not saying they should do so without sincere intent, but I  think if more guys were aware of such a scenario, they'd be finding religion, a lot more, LOL.

If you're overly worried about what other people might think about you marrying a foriegner, regardless of her age, looks, income and education, this probably isn't for you.

"Rip you apart"? LOL. Unlikely and even if were the case, you'd hopefully cut loose those losers quicker than slap. Malcontents like that typically are either jealous or are so miserable with their own lot in life that you don't need them sucking you down into their dark vortex of discontenet. "Misery loves company" It's about you and her, not THEM.

[Vandervecken]

Thanks, Robert!

The church situation is well known in the parish.  Basically my ex had a temper tantrum/meltdown over something childish, stormed out and refused to go back.  And she forbade my or the kids to go back, too.  So going back has been "interesting"... certain women recognized me and asked what had happened.  The "wimpy" issue came up a bit, given that I sheepishly let my wife order me away from the church.  But I explained that I was doing everything to save a marriage, and that seemed to make the questioners happy.  And from there, the gossip network took over!

The members of this parish are mostly blue collar.  The men are in skilled construction (plumbers, electricians, etc., where state licenses are required.)  The women work clerical jobs, or as registered nurses.  Some immigrant, some first generation, a few second generation families.  And like you mentioned, a lot of the social life of the first generation is around the church: picnics, Spanish-language movies, etc.

Most of the single women my age immigrated here as children, so they're bilingual.  Their kids are either grown or teenagers.  And many of those teens go to the Catholic schools here (so did my sons.)  So as far as family and peer pressure, they're good kids.

You have a valid point about "sending money home" and I do have a concern about being an "anchor husband" for immigrating the extended family.  But that simply means taking my time and getting to know the woman and her situation.

[kai #2]

Hello!  I'm new to the forum, and looking for thoughts and advice.

A bit about me: mid-50s old, Caucasian, professional job, recently divorced.  Catholic.  My kids are grown and have their own lives.  My wife and I were members of a Catholic parish that was half Caucasian, half Hispanic (mostly Mexican.)  But as the divorce started up, my ex-wife had a big falling out with the church.

So now, I'm divorced.  I go to Mass by myself every couple of weeks.  And since the divorce is final, I've found the single Hispanic women are making time to "talk" to me after Mass.  They're younger than me for the most part, low 40s or so.  Most have some kids still at home, and their English skills are passable.  Many of them are very attractive.  And I'm not blind, I know they're possibly interested in me as a romantic partner.

I've never dated a Hispanic woman, but I've dated across cultural lines: my wife was mixed American/Korean.  I know how to ignore the "traditional woman" hype that dating sites like to advertise.  But I've never really spent time in the Hispanic community here.

So... I'm a newbie, looking for thoughts and advice.  I'm reading the forums and threads, but if anybody has advice for me, I would be glad to hear it!

Thanks!

Hispanic women are great. Take your time, you shouldn't rush the process. If you have to question it, there no questioning it, pull up stakes and meet another. Date around see what you qualities you like. If you want to date a Hispanic women I'd recommend going to a few latin american countries and get a feel for the culture and enjoy what it has to offer. For the moment it'll be one of best things you can do untill you get a feel for it

[robert angel]

Hispanic women are great. Take your time, you shouldn't rush the process. If you have to question it, there no questioning it, pull up stakes and meet another. Date around see what you qualities you like. If you want to date a Hispanic women I'd recommend going to a few latin american countries and get a feel for the culture and enjoy what it has to offer. For the moment it'll be one of best things you can do untill you get a feel for it

That's great advice. Not just going alone to a predominantly Spanish nation necessarily, but after you've dated a lady from or from a family from a Spanish speaking nation and have gotten 'your feet wet' with her (well, maybe up to the knees, but well familiar anyway), it's always more fun to go with another person. If that person's fluent and pretty familiar with the ways of the region, all the better.

If that comes to be, I suppose that while you can't come right out and say: "This isn't a dry run rehearsal for the wedding and honeymoon", it'd be nice if things weren't absolutely expected to proceed from 'A' = vacation together, to 'B' = engagement, 'C', 'D', to WEDDING etc. All too often we move too fast and it's very hard to step up and stop the pace--the momentum as it's become too large, to many peoplem with great expectations.

This ain't no quick Shake and Bake or Jiffy Quik  cornbread recipe. You may even feel that taking a trip back tracing her roots might be a bit much---too forward a step----it depends on each individual, intensity of feelings, maturity etc.

Sounds like the pieces are there, if a bit spread out and requiring planning, that you're a decent guy and there's some stable women, or at least good women who'd love to embrace a good man who could bring love and stability together to both of your lives.

But again, don't rush too fast, don't show your cards too early when there's still a number of possible options. When you've narrowed down the number of women (you don't sound like the kind of guy who'd go after every gal in the parish  from age 29 to 49) you should have an idea of if she has a real temper, is overly jealous (a bit of jealousy, ie 'concern' is actually a good thing) if she's looking for a stepping stone into a more affluent life style, if she's 'played the field' a lot and more.

Trust but verify.

The gossip mill, who you date first and other factors, will effect who you'll be able, to date next from amongst the ladies familiar with each other. Some might say "He dated HER?----I wouldn't, I couldn't be seen with him after THAT/HER." If you think you understand logic, love and women, you're a bigger fool than I am. Love, logic and strategy don't always work well in synch, but you've got to try your best to make them work together. There's wonderful magic to be found somewhere in between the madness.If you don't want more kids, make sure that she's on the same plane there for sure.

It sounds odd, but I learned a great deal about how compatible another women and myself are when 'non normal' things happned. Things like losing your passport, getting robbed, huge family issues and certainly getting into a good dissagreeement or two and seeing how each of your handle it speaks volumes. If you're not a good housekeeper, always late, forget special days and more, don't change now--it'll just be temporary.

If she tends to treat your spending your money when with you're with her more casually than she treats budgeting and spending her own money, that's a bit of a red flag. A lot of guys will on vacation to a woman's country, give her the spending money to manage, to get an idea of how practical she is with finances. $500 to a $1000 dollars may seem like a lot, but it's pennys and short term at that, compared to once your legally married and a few months later come home to find she's ordered all marble countertops, stainless steel appliances and walnut cabinetry, just like her friends have and such behavior leads to divorce.

At least this whole scenario sounds like it's going to be more fun and interesting than dating the upper 30's and 40's divorced white women, usually with kids and probably a good amount of baggage--- the kind of women who are basically the mainstay of places like Match.com.

Lord, I used to dread working up to those dates......

Please forgive me for playing the 'Devils' Advocate' to an extent here, not because I'm expecting  a lot of bad, but because 'bad' is possible and with a certain level of awareness going in, can often be avoided. Personally, I think you're going to have a fun, interesting time that you won't regret  and something very good could possibly come of it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. No risk, little to no reward likely.

[Rschnb67]

Robert I was just telling this fellow there might be some critism of his posts and the way he is doing things everyone thinks they know the best way to handle things. As for me I am doing great with my gf I'm happy she's happy I'm extremely proud to call her my gf and we are making plans for the future I have taken some good advice here I just did not want  this gentleman to get discouraged if he has an issue and puts it on the forum then gets hammered by negativity. I wish him the best and I've never been happier my gf is 180 degrees from my ex she is everything I ever wanted and more simple sweet attentive BEUTIFUL kind caring fun I hope he has a good experience as well you and a few others have good advice and I like to learn from your experiences but then there are a few who well you know lol

[Elexpatriado]

Robert I was just telling this fellow there might be some critism of his posts and the way he is doing things everyone thinks they know the best way to handle things. As for me I am doing great with my gf I'm happy she's happy I'm extremely proud to call her my gf and we are making plans for the future I have taken some good advice here I just did not want  this gentleman to get discouraged if he has an issue and puts it on the forum then gets hammered by negativity. I wish him the best and I've never been happier my gf is 180 degrees from my ex she is everything I ever wanted and more simple sweet attentive BEUTIFUL kind caring fun I hope he has a good experience as well you and a few others have good advice and I like to learn from your experiences but then there are a few who well you know lol

No, actually he is doing things all right..he is not suggesting he is gonna meet a girl on CC and fly her to Cancun, and then bring her to the US on a marriage visa.


He is interested in Latin Women in is own church, which is a highly recommendable and sane thing to be doing.He wants a little input on the inter cultural interactions with Latin women-particularly Mexicanas.


Thats my advice-keep looking in your own back yard. They already have a visa, closer to your own age. Great idea.


Go out with a bunch of them and get to know them.


Way better than importing a little portable RR all the way from Colombia

[mambocowboy]

No, actually he is doing things all right..he is not suggesting he is gonna meet a girl on CC and fly her to Cancun, and then bring her to the US on a marriage visa.


He is interested in Latin Women in is own church, which is a highly recommendable and sane thing to be doing.He wants a little input on the inter cultural interactions with Latin women-particularly Mexicanas.


Thats my advice-keep looking in your own back yard. They already have a visa, closer to your own age. Great idea.


Go out with a bunch of them and get to know them.


Way better than importing a little portable RR all the way from Colombia

Good points Elex

[Vandervecken]

No, actually he is doing things all right..he is not suggesting he is gonna meet a girl on CC and fly her to Cancun, and then bring her to the US on a marriage visa.

He is interested in Latin Women in is own church, which is a highly recommendable and sane thing to be doing.He wants a little input on the inter cultural interactions with Latin women-particularly Mexicanas.

Exactly right, and thanks!  These are women already living here, who are either immigrants or first generation. 

As I had mentioned, my ex is mixed Korean-Caucasian (her mom is from Seoul, her dad was an American Army sergeant.)  Even though my ex was raised in the States, there was a lot of Korean culture in the house (read that as "landmines to step on") and I made mistakes, of course.  So I'd like to avoid that should I date a Latina from my church.

Thanks everybody for the advice so far!

[Vandervecken]

BTW, I'm in central Arkansas.

[Kiltboy1]

Times have changed. 16 years ago when I started going to SA there were not that many Latinas in my area.Fast forward and they are everywhere. No need to travel outside the USA to look unless you just want to.

KB

[Rschnb67]

Here we go again hey ex pat why don't you mind your own business I'm talking generally not about my situation you don't know me you don't know anything of what I'm doing I'm so tired of you attacking me no matter what I put on there you're a piece of garbage mind  business why don't you stay off the form it would be a much nicer from their place I will never tell you what's going on with me and my woman because you never ever have anything good to say when is the last time you heard me post anything seriously when I read all the time I don't post because of you you are a know it all and I wouldn't take your advice on picking out a grapefruit in the store so get a life buddy and stay out of this form once and for all.    Same for you mambo get a life it's funny how ex-pat knew exactly who I was talking about when I told this new gentleman to be careful from all the negativity by the way dude how's your woman oh that's right you're giving everyone advice but you don't even have one

[Vandervecken]

Here we go again hey ex pat why don't you mind your own business I'm talking generally not about my situation you don't know me you don't know anything of what I'm doing I'm so tired of you attacking me no matter what I put on there

Not to be rude, but I don't want to get into a flaming war.  Do you have any advice to me on my situation?

To Robert, Elex and Mambo, thank you! 

[benjio]

Go out with a bunch of them and get to know them.

Go out with a bunch of Mexicanas that all go to the same church? This should be interesting. Vandervecken make sure you follow up. I can't wait to hear this one. 


But seriously, sounds like you are in a great position to meet some quality ladies. My only advice is take your time and make sure anyone you're getting to know has a good idea of where the friendship/relationship stands. Sometimes women create commitments inside their heads and we have no idea they exist until they're pissed off because we aren't acknowledging them. Have fun!

[robert angel]

Not to be rude, but I don't want to get into a flaming war.  Do you have any advice to me on my situation?

To Robert, Elex and Mambo, thank you!

Don't get to church too early. If they see you're always sitting with the same woman and her family,  sitting in the same church pews, they'll jump to conclusions.

[robert angel]

Also, I'm not sure of 'protocol' and asking a single lady out to lunch, meaning a lady who appears literally single versus her being with family. But I wonder if after mass, when people often gather outside and 'chit chat' ----if you ask her out to lunch, then maybe go for a walk in the park, etc., if it's seen as bad form if you don't invite the whole family/group?

Not good getting off with a bad start, not good if they always expect you to bring the whole family either.

Again, I have no idea---- I suppose if she's fairly young, they might want to chaperone at least initially, but if that's the norm, it could get expensive. Mexicans and Filipinos often have large families!

[Elexpatriado]

Times have changed. 16 years ago when I started going to SA there were not that many Latinas in my area.Fast forward and they are everywhere. No need to travel outside the USA to look unless you just want to.

KB

Just starting to happen in Canada.


More Chinese, Filipinos and South Asians there.


Kind of Like United Nations.


Maybe that´s why our (Relatively)new Beta Boy Naive  PM wants to be UN head and gives billions to third world corrupt causes (like the "Yes" side in the Colombian Plebiscite, for example.

[robert angel]

Canada, with a larger land area than the USA and a population of about 35 million, or about one tenth of the USA's 'documented' population, needs immigration.  Canada has vast amounts of yet untapped natural resources, a good educational system, a pretty good infrastructure too--good trains, bus systems---in short, good, low cost public transportation and good roads, bridges etc. Better than in the USA actually.


If they can just manage to put in place supports to help the immigrants they need so badly learn English (and in some cases French) and then provide them with access (financial aid) for vocational job training, as well as jobs requiring academic (college) preparation, I think Canada, is a bit of a sleeping bear, with great potential yet to be realized.Sure a lot of all that land area is inhospitable due to ice, snow and wind, but there's still plenty of good land for good people.

What is disturbing is the welfare state mentality. We enjoy visiting Toronto, a big, fast paced, bustling city, with tons of immigrants, including a lot of very pretty ladys from all over the globe. Lots of eye candly.

But on just about every corner, there were beggars, usually seemingly able bodied white guys from ages 25 into their 40's, panhandling for money, very openly and even aggressively and half the time, they were smoking cigarettes, which are very expensive there, as the govt intentionally taxes them to the point where folks won't  buy them.

I mentioned that to a local and he said "That's nothing, when it gets real cold, the govt.rolls out trucks, giving them coats, blankets, sandwiches, other food, toiletries etc."

I know that in today's world, first world nations typically don't take their natural resources and build 'things'-- products for domestic use and export. Instead we get those from 2nd and 3rd world nations. But if Canada can get the balance right, utilizing their population to extract  resources and train their people to work in more intellectual capacities as well, there's a whole lot of upside.

But that's only if  they stop continuing to develop into a hand me down welfare state, which combined with the cost of their socialized medical care system, will not only tax the masses to near insurrection, but create an economic hole from which they may never climb out of.

[Vandervecken]

Go out with a bunch of Mexicanas that all go to the same church? This should be interesting. Vandervecken make sure you follow up. I can't wait to hear this one. 

No, I'm not pursuing the entire single female population of the parish!    My "style" has always been to date a woman a couple of times, then if the budding relationship looks promising, to date exclusively.

I appreciate the advice everybody has been giving me.  Everybody is right: take my time and learn the culture.  I know I'm the outsider.

So today I did something different (for me.)  After Mass, there are coffee and donuts available in a classroom.  Normally the married folks (especially the Caucasians) don't stay, and the group gravitates to singles and singles with kids.  So today I stayed after Mass for coffee and donuts.  I offered to help set up the tables and unpack (there were several people doing this, so I was just part of the team), then pretty much got out of the way.

I spoke casually to some people, then the church secretary (married, Hispanic) came over to talk to me for a few minutes.  Just casual conversation.  But I dropped a comment, mentioned that I needed to make an appointment to come talk with the advocate about starting an annulment.  She has a decent poker face, but I saw her eyes widen a bit.  My ex always believed the secretary was the lead instigator of the gossip network so it will be interesting to see if my comment spreads.  (FYI... my comment to her about thinking about the annulment is not covered under confidentiality.  Actually doing it would be.)

Afterwards, I stayed a while and talked to several people.  It wasn't a dating social of course, and I talked to married people as well as single.  We'll see what happens.  Slow and steady...

[utopiacowboy]

But on just about every corner, there were beggars, usually seemingly able bodied white guys from ages 25 into their 40's, panhandling for money, very openly and even aggressively and half the time, they were smoking cigarettes, which are very expensive there, as the govt intentionally taxes them to the point where folks won't  buy them.

You need to go to Austin, Texas. Yesterday I saw what looked like a fifteen or sixteen year old girl panhandling. I don't think I have ever seen so many panhandlers and that's including Seattle and Vancouver which are crammed with them on every corner. Austin is descending into the depths of inhabitability a victim of its own success. Finally people are seeing the light and moving to San Antonio from Austin for a huge improvement in quality of life.

[Vandervecken]

Something I had not thought about: food allergies.

Asthma runs in my family and as a result I have an odd food allergy: cheese and yogurt.  My doctor says the cultured milk triggers my asthma, but since I swallowed the culture instead of inhaling it, the reaction blows into anaphylaxis.  Normally I can feel it coming on early enough to take some Benadryl and everything is fine.

Latin food has a LOT of cheese in it.

This could get... interesting...

[Elexpatriado]

Here we go again hey ex pat why don't you mind your own business I'm talking generally not about my situation you don't know me you don't know anything of what I'm doing I'm so tired of you attacking me no matter what I put on there you're a piece of garbage mind  business why don't you stay off the form it would be a much nicer from their place I will never tell you what's going on with me and my woman because you never ever have anything good to say when is the last time you heard me post anything seriously when I read all the time I don't post because of you you are a know it all and I wouldn't take your advice on picking out a grapefruit in the store so get a life buddy and stay out of this form once and for all.    Same for you mambo get a life it's funny how ex-pat knew exactly who I was talking about when I told this new gentleman to be careful from all the negativity by the way dude how's your woman oh that's right you're giving everyone advice but you don't even have one

My sensitive arent  we?


I  never said it wouldn't work out with the way you did. Just said it is a highly risky way of doing it. In all likelihood you will be okay. Just wouldn't recommends it to others.


If you think this is attacking, then you are over sensitive.´And by the way, you are the one who brought up the subject in the first place .


If you want to see a real rude , obnoxious guy ,talk to Awesome.

Now get some thick skin and stop being so sensitive, OK you whiny  little baby.

And how do you know I dont have a woman , thats ridiculous ? I have several, I am in Colombia.Not that I want to share any details with you.

Just dont fall over the first one that falls into my lap. ja ja

Good luck with your relationship.I said it before and I say it now and I mean it.


Robert, you can tell me if I am being out off line and "attacking" him, or he is just being over sensitive. I am willing to accept criticism from a neutral, independent source like yourself or Benjio. I know I could have been a diplomat and just ignored his original statement, but he is the one who brought the subject up..

[Elexpatriado]

Canada, with a larger land area than the USA and a population of about 35 million, or about one tenth of the USA's 'documented' population, needs immigration.  Canada has vast amounts of yet untapped natural resources, a good educational system, a pretty good infrastructure too--good trains, bus systems---in short, good, low cost public transportation and good roads, bridges etc. Better than in the USA actually.


If they can just manage to put in place supports to help the immigrants they need so badly learn English (and in some cases French) and then provide them with access (financial aid) for vocational job training, as well as jobs requiring academic (college) preparation, I think Canada, is a bit of a sleeping bear, with great potential yet to be realized.Sure a lot of all that land area is inhospitable due to ice, snow and wind, but there's still plenty of good land for good people.

What is disturbing is the welfare state mentality. We enjoy visiting Toronto, a big, fast paced, bustling city, with tons of immigrants, including a lot of very pretty ladys from all over the globe. Lots of eye candly.

But on just about every corner, there were beggars, usually seemingly able bodied white guys from ages 25 into their 40's, panhandling for money, very openly and even aggressively and half the time, they were smoking cigarettes, which are very expensive there, as the govt intentionally taxes them to the point where folks won't  buy them.

I mentioned that to a local and he said "That's nothing, when it gets real cold, the govt.rolls out trucks, giving them coats, blankets, sandwiches, other food, toiletries etc."

I know that in today's world, first world nations typically don't take their natural resources and build 'things'-- products for domestic use and export. Instead we get those from 2nd and 3rd world nations. But if Canada can get the balance right, utilizing their population to extract  resources and train their people to work in more intellectual capacities as well, there's a whole lot of upside.

But that's only if  they stop continuing to develop into a hand me down welfare state, which combined with the cost of their socialized medical care system, will not only tax the masses to near insurrection, but create an economic hole from which they may never climb out of.

This is the biggest urban myth there is out there.



Canada needs immigrants like a hole in the head. The industrial base is lagging , because of low productivity. Cant compete with Southern States and Mexico The unemployment rate is around 7%, and this doesnt include Contract workers and underemployment. The GDP actually shrunk by  about 1% in the last quarter.The former "Engine of Growth" the Oil and Gas industry, has been crippled by ow energy prices, environmental fanaticism, and extreme government bureaucracy and obstructionism.


75% of the  immigrants move to the 3 major centres, and 95% to the 6 major centres, causing increased urban sprawl, congestion, environmental issue, increased unemployment, and drain on social services.


98% of the population lives in a narrow belt straddling the US Border. North of 54 degrees mostly a barren wilderness of trees , rocks , lakes, and further north, tundra.


You wont see immigrants going there .


As far as job training and the like, they should provide this ti thier own unemployed youth. They youth unemployment rate is around 15%. But that still wont do any good, as the industrial base is so depleted, and the only work is in selling reakl estate to foreign owner money launderers, working for governments or big banks (that lend money to the money launderers) and marijuana gro-ops and the like.


If population was Prosperity, India and China wold have the same standard of living as Sweden, now wouldn't they?