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Offline LatinSharpei

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Ray Rice Fall Out
« on: September 12, 2014, 12:03:18 AM »
So I have another trip coming up and I remember all the questions about the United States and if we are really like CSI Criminal Minds or NCIS.   With Ray Rice knocking his girlfriend out in theeelevator and me play college and in some other leagues I can only imagine the questions that are going to come.  As soon as the new Video came out I was like oh no... This is BS what he did but he is gonna make the girls think we solve things in the elevator like that.  This one being this fresh is gonna be fun to answer. 

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2014, 05:45:58 AM »
So I have another trip coming up and I remember all the questions about the United States and if we are really like CSI Criminal Minds or NCIS.   With Ray Rice knocking his girlfriend out in theeelevator and me play college and in some other leagues I can only imagine the questions that are going to come.  As soon as the new Video came out I was like oh no... This is BS what he did but he is gonna make the girls think we solve things in the elevator like that.  This one being this fresh is gonna be fun to answer.

Why ?

Colombian men beat the crap out of their woman everyday and nobody down there gives a crap. I would not even answer the question if anyone asks
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2014, 06:41:30 AM »
You got hang out with more educated women..


Maybe a diploma in Administracion de Negocios or Administracion de Empresas (Yes Bernard, both degrees exist) are worth only toilet paper in the real world compared to a North American degree, but at least it teaches the women not to believe in brujas, or everything they see on TV or in the TeleNovelas..
« Last Edit: September 12, 2014, 06:46:04 AM by Elexpatriado »

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2014, 06:41:30 AM »

Offline LatinSharpei

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2014, 08:49:24 AM »
Some of that is a legit concern.  I mean IMBRA laws were not put in place cause the girls are being treated like princesses.  I would ask some of the  same questions if a guy that is potentially  going  to pick up my life and move half way across the  world for.  I just think when Americans snap the go off the deep end so yeah in some ways I get the concern.  I know I am a little soft and it got me trampled last time so I am kinda looking back and figuring where my preference of not being a hard ass is okay versus if they are gonna run all over me I now know its time pay the tab and send her in her taxi home.

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2014, 09:10:11 AM »
I think if you get an educated one and take your time (i.e don't just go out and drag her ass back to the US after 2 months of skypeing and a 2 week visit) it should be Okay. A Colombian once told me "Sin educacion no hay corazon"
Where  a woman with an education is no guarantee, ( I myself have seen a few Skanks and dishonest women who were educated) it is just  one of many criteria. Just like when you pick a doctor, you want him or her to be from a recognized medical school. The person may not be a good doctor for you and your situation, but this is only one of many  (and the most important) prerequisite criteria.
My experience is with  any adult Latina  who only has a grade 10 or less education, you can pretty well just forget it for a long term relation.
As far as these women being scared, if you are an educated, caballero that treats them right, they will soon lose these fears.
Bikers or guys who come from a trailer park background would give them something to justifiably worry about. .
Some of that is a legit concern.  I mean IMBRA laws were not put in place cause the girls are being treated like princesses.  I would ask some of the  same questions if a guy that is potentially  going  to pick up my life and move half way across the  world for.  I just think when Americans snap the go off the deep end so yeah in some ways I get the concern.  I know I am a little soft and it got me trampled last time so I am kinda looking back and figuring where my preference of not being a hard ass is okay versus if they are gonna run all over me I now know its time pay the tab and send her in her taxi home.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2014, 09:11:44 AM by Elexpatriado »

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2014, 11:47:31 AM »
Ray rice fallout?  In colombia?  Nonexistent.

Offline LatinSharpei

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2014, 12:03:08 AM »
As far as education goes... I always avoided the ones that were Lawyers.. I have never been a fan of them.  Just seem like here in the states they are exposing someone to make a buck and I dont want my wife somedaytrying to expose me.  Yes I am scared of lawyers they seem to be vampires.  I dont understand how you can say that the ones that dont have an education will never have a good marriage with a gringo.  I mean itdepends on the plans of the two people.  She may be happy at home raising kids and being a housewife.  I talk to alot of girls and they want more so it makes me happy.  I never know what day I get hit by a bus and shewill have to provide for my kids and herself with out me.  I took the ones that had an education serious but I also wanted to make sure they were happy and challenged.  I dont want to stick a highly educated girl in a crappy job like Wal-Mart or McDonald's but with out good english the doors that are open are not as many.  So I guess I just am looking to see what each girl is individually.

Offline robert angel

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2014, 07:21:11 AM »
As far as education goes... I always avoided the ones that were Lawyers.. I have never been a fan of them.  Just seem like here in the states they are exposing someone to make a buck and I dont want my wife somedaytrying to expose me.  Yes I am scared of lawyers they seem to be vampires.  I dont understand how you can say that the ones that dont have an education will never have a good marriage with a gringo.  I mean itdepends on the plans of the two people.  She may be happy at home raising kids and being a housewife.  I talk to alot of girls and they want more so it makes me happy.  I never know what day I get hit by a bus and shewill have to provide for my kids and herself with out me.  I took the ones that had an education serious but I also wanted to make sure they were happy and challenged.  I dont want to stick a highly educated girl in a crappy job like Wal-Mart or McDonald's but with out good english the doors that are open are not as many.  So I guess I just am looking to see what each girl is individually.

The CDC--the Center for Disease Control, recently announced they were no longer going to use rats in their studies. Instead, they announced that they would use lawyers. When asked 'Why?', they replied: "There were just some things we couldn't get those rats to do."
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2014, 08:26:41 AM »
you should move to Colombia.. your too paranoid to drag a girls Ass back to the US.. with good reason..


For 100% sure all an uneducated girl will want from you is money. A lot of them haven't even been raised right to know what good values and morals are.  I myself have absolutely nothing in common with them, ( I even find the educated ones in Colombia somewhat shallow intellectually at times)and I dont have the conscience  to prey on them for sex and dump them. At least if a girl is studying and working and building herself up, she wont be relying on you and asking you for money all the time.


Anyway, as everybody knows, I think this taking the mail order bride to the US is shear lunacy. Its even better to have a long distant relation. A relacion de lejos may be for pendejos, but it is far better than dragging her ass to the US and facing all these issues you and everyone else  brings up. Of course the best is to live in here country, and then after you really get to know her, like in North American dating scenario, maybe bring her over, for short visits at first, and then, after several years, maybe permanently for a while, if you are both in agreement. The thing is , you must be in control


As far as lawyers go, I have significant experience with the scum bags, and believe it or not, the Colombian Lawyers have not yet as sleazy as their North American counterparts. Anyway, you donĀ“t have o date a Lawyer, I wouldn't either I think..Only 1 % of university grads anywhere are lawyers, so you have a big choice..quote author=LatinSharpei link=topic=7917.msg119151#msg119151 date=1410760988]
As far as education goes... I always avoided the ones that were Lawyers.. I have never been a fan of them.  Just seem like here in the states they are exposing someone to make a buck and I dint want my wife somedaytrying to expose me.  Yes I am scared of lawyers they seem to be vampires.  I dont understand how you can say that the ones that dont have an education will never have a good marriage with a gringo.  I mean itdepends on the plans of the two people.  She may be happy at home raising kids and being a housewife.  I talk to alot of girls and they want more so it makes me happy.  I never know what day I get hit by a bus and shewill have to provide for my kids and herself with out me.  I took the ones that had an education serious but I also wanted to make sure they were happy and challenged.  I dont want to stick a highly educated girl in a crappy job like Wal-Mart or McDonald's but with out good english the doors that are open are not as many.  So I guess I just am looking to see what each girl is individually.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2014, 08:34:01 AM by Elexpatriado »

Offline LatinSharpei

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2014, 09:21:35 AM »
I am not as worried about the risks taking them back here.  I am working on what I think is my rules and my expectations. I mean everyone can fake it for a 2 week trip and all but I think part of what I am gonna look at on this trip is who is willing to do something to stand out.  Not stand out cause they did the whip cream bikini but who is willing to set themselves apart from the pack ethically and surprisingly.  A lion preys on the slowest of the herd.  I want the one that shows me she is the strongest choice of her pack.  I am not looking for a 10.  Hell I am not a 10 so even if I got one I would be in over my head. What I am looking for

1. Good intelligent conversation.  Sounds like its easy but a ton of people even here in the US can not do it.

2.  What are her ethics?  People show thier true colors in little ways.  I am watching how the react in little things.  The last one would snap and yell at me for things like paying the taxi and not letting her deal with em.  I was trying just live my 2 weeks down there and not be dependanton people.  I caught her in her lie and I did not realize it till it was too late.  Lies no matter how small are terminators for me.  I dont argue I just move on.

3.  I wanna know what her life is like there.  I want to see what she built her world to be before I got there.  I dont think you can hide your entire world or make it spin the way she thinks I want to see for 2 weeks.   Someone will slip if she is putting on a show.

4.  One of the conversations I will have with them is trying times.  What flames of life were the forged under.  I think people that have not been tried are not fire and battle tested for life.  I  dont want to hear poor me I am poor I wanna know the experience.

Alot of you guys talk alot on things and brought somethings to my attention that I got convinced were cultural differences.  By both her and my Translator.  This time those things that I am feeling to be odd.  That cultural excuse is not gonna just be swallowed like a sucker.  I hate to say it but I am going to treat this like a try out this time.  They dont want to give 100 % then cut em free.  I remember my first day of try outs when I wanted to make that team I was hustling and trying to catch an eye.  Lets find out who hustlers and who really wants to catch my eye.  I am not talking sex on the first date either.  I am talking about if they shine with a personality and thier genuine interaction.  I figured out alot from the last 3 I have dealt with the last 2 got no money and they showed me things rather quickly.  Both were cut free to find other prey

Offline robert angel

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2014, 05:01:14 PM »
dont want to stick a highly educated girl in a crappy job like Wal-Mart or McDonald's but with out good english the doors that are open are not as many.  So I guess I just am looking to see what each girl is individually.

Even WITH good English, sometimes high levels of education and specific careers do not transfer well to the USA from S. America and Asia. If you're an M.D. an RN, a Dentist, a Lawyer or in a number of Engineering fields, not only will your University credits and overall degree be looked at very closely, but if they do allow you to take a certification exam for licensure here, it may be only after you've taken a number of extra, required courses. A lot of foreign Dr.'s have ended up in nursing.

My wife's credits were all accepted (except for a religion course and a history of her nation course) but after being out of her field of computer engineering for going on two years, so much had changed, that even though she has a 5 year Bachelor's degree in soft and hardware computer engineering and decent English, it hasn't translated into work in that field. Working as an engineer for Coca Cola Philippines did not transfer into instant entry in corporate USA

She's more interested in working with people than with things like computers and honestly hasn't been real aggressive in pursuing such work, but to not close the door completely down the line, she's taken things like Cisco Networking (got a B grade while working full time) and she's probably going to take A+, Microsoft + and C+ computer coursework--her idea--although as is her way, her culture, she always asks me if it's 'OK' with me, giving me 'veto' power.

If you're out of those fields for a while, it's like the whole world has changed. What they teach you in a third world country isn't typically the same as in a first world and there or here, the incoming freshman sometimes are more current on the latest skillset than many juniors and seniors.

If I was really into the money, I would've pimped--errr 'pushed' her in that direction nine years ago, but our happiness is intertwined, so I let her choose and find what she wanted, my main concern being that she has enough time off that we can do things together.
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Offline LatinSharpei

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2014, 03:35:39 AM »
Robert sounds like you are doing it right.  I am in telecom.  I was half way to my CCNP and let it go cause I like working with Juniper more than Cisco.  I dont like the field here and you are wisenot to force her into it here.  People can be very ruthless and I get to points where I have to break out the incase of killing someone bag of chew to chill out and work when stupid stuff aarises.  Not to mention the hours are pretty rough.  I work alot of holidays and late hours partially cause I am single and OT is nice.   I have to see what the future girl is schooled in to know anything.  I just wonder about all the girls that say they want to own thier own business.  I mean this is not a great economy for starting new businesses.  Not like the 90s atleast

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2014, 08:38:18 PM »
Dont fall for that one..when a girl tells you she wants to start a business,she usually means with YOUR money in some useless hair brained scheme in Colombia. If they were good business people , they would already have a business on their own in Colombia and wouldn't need your $$$. If they cant make money with a business in Colombia, sure cant see how they would be successful in US, even if they had good English, other than doing Unas for other Colombianas and Latinas.
Robert sounds like you are doing it right.  I am in telecom.  I was half way to my CCNP and let it go cause I like working with Juniper more than Cisco.  I dont like the field here and you are wisenot to force her into it here.  People can be very ruthless and I get to points where I have to break out the incase of killing someone bag of chew to chill out and work when stupid stuff aarises.  Not to mention the hours are pretty rough.  I work alot of holidays and late hours partially cause I am single and OT is nice.   I have to see what the future girl is schooled in to know anything.  I just wonder about all the girls that say they want to own thier own business.  I mean this is not a great economy for starting new businesses.  Not like the 90s atleast

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2014, 08:38:18 PM »

Offline mambocowboy

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #13 on: September 16, 2014, 09:56:45 PM »
I am not as worried about the risks taking them back here.  I am working on what I think is my rules and my expectations. I mean everyone can fake it for a 2 week trip and all but I think part of what I am gonna look at on this trip is who is willing to do something to stand out.  Not stand out cause they did the whip cream bikini but who is willing to set themselves apart from the pack ethically and surprisingly.  A lion preys on the slowest of the herd.  I want the one that shows me she is the strongest choice of her pack.  I am not looking for a 10.  Hell I am not a 10 so even if I got one I would be in over my head. What I am looking for

1. Good intelligent conversation.  Sounds like its easy but a ton of people even here in the US can not do it.

2.  What are her ethics?  People show thier true colors in little ways.  I am watching how the react in little things.  The last one would snap and yell at me for things like paying the taxi and not letting her deal with em.  I was trying just live my 2 weeks down there and not be dependanton people.  I caught her in her lie and I did not realize it till it was too late.  Lies no matter how small are terminators for me.  I dont argue I just move on.

3.  I wanna know what her life is like there.  I want to see what she built her world to be before I got there.  I dont think you can hide your entire world or make it spin the way she thinks I want to see for 2 weeks.   Someone will slip if she is putting on a show.

4.  One of the conversations I will have with them is trying times.  What flames of life were the forged under.  I think people that have not been tried are not fire and battle tested for life.  I  dont want to hear poor me I am poor I wanna know the experience.

Alot of you guys talk alot on things and brought somethings to my attention that I got convinced were cultural differences.  By both her and my Translator.  This time those things that I am feeling to be odd.  That cultural excuse is not gonna just be swallowed like a sucker.  I hate to say it but I am going to treat this like a try out this time.  They dont want to give 100 % then cut em free.  I remember my first day of try outs when I wanted to make that team I was hustling and trying to catch an eye.  Lets find out who hustlers and who really wants to catch my eye.  I am not talking sex on the first date either.  I am talking about if they shine with a personality and thier genuine interaction.  I figured out alot from the last 3 I have dealt with the last 2 got no money and they showed me things rather quickly.  Both were cut free to find other prey
LS, I think you learned your lesson. She does need to earn your trust...As for vetting these ladies, observe them closely. They'll ask what you want in a woman. If you tell them, they'll try to fit that mold but you want a more natural fit so don't be such an open book on what you want...A very important criterion should be, how comfortable do you feel around this woman when you're not having sex. We're talking about a lifelong commitment after all.  Sex is important but shouldn't be the only criterion, as it is for a lot of women, actually...

Offline LatinSharpei

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2014, 08:53:33 AM »
Good point on the open book part.  Its easy to play a part for a couple hours.  I missed alot of red flags with the last one.  I think I failed to realize they have to win me over as well as I with them.  I tried to be a night in shining armor and got that turned on me.  I think my biggest thing I am looking at quickly is the conversation.  Some of the girls gave one word answers and that is too hard to build a conversation on.  It was like next question.  Drove me nuts

Offline robert angel

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2014, 10:11:50 AM »
Good point on the open book part.  Its easy to play a part for a couple hours.  I missed alot of red flags with the last one.  I think I failed to realize they have to win me over as well as I with them.  I tried to be a night in shining armor and got that turned on me.  I think my biggest thing I am looking at quickly is the conversation.  Some of the girls gave one word answers and that is too hard to build a conversation on.  It was like next question.  Drove me nuts

While language barriers and sometimes education levels can have something to do with minimalist or "one word" responses, overall, that kind of responding is not good. In some cases, she might be 'chatting' even web camming, more than one guy at once. At the least, she's either not too interested or motivated to learn English or in working with your Spanish, working towards the middle.

Of course, if you're doing all the talking, it sets her up to reply yes and no in just the way she knows you want to hear it or if she's more conversant, to explain how what you're looking for is exactly (of course!) what she's thinking and looking for in a guy and in life.

It's pretty lame and  you know it's bad when the high lights of your conversation not really even the conversation--they are when she has to stand up and go to the bathroom or something and you finally get a look at her.

Talk about money is generally bad news and if she has some 'great idea' about a business, I'd listen a bit--actually taking it in a bit for future reference, but the mere suggestion would put a red flag up the pole pretty quick for me--it's all too typical of women laying out the bait, checking the waters before setting the hook.
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Offline LatinSharpei

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2014, 01:53:23 PM »
Robert

When the most important things I hear or read is starting a business and plans of being a doctor ans I hear nothing about family.  That ends the deal with me.  Its great to be driven but I am not the beast she is gonna ride to her goals then kick me in the ass for a Porsche.   I have started to reflect in my past encounters.  I am a huge football guy and watched a ton of game film to get better.  I feel like this is my time in the film room. 

Things I failed at before

I was willing to commit on thier terms..  I forgot who all was dealt a hand in the poker match

I kept buying into the same excuse its a cultural difference.  Never accommodated to me.

I was blinded by the birds and stars on the one and she was finding reasons to leave early and acting weird on dates.  I should have cut her lose and chose one of the other 2 that are now married.


Offline robert angel

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Re: Ray Rice Fall Out
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2014, 03:04:02 PM »
Robert

When the most important things I hear or read is starting a business and plans of being a doctor ans I hear nothing about family.  That ends the deal with me.  Its great to be driven but I am not the beast she is gonna ride to her goals then kick me in the ass for a Porsche.   I have started to reflect in my past encounters.  I am a huge football guy and watched a ton of game film to get better.  I feel like this is my time in the film room. 

Things I failed at before

I was willing to commit on thier terms..  I forgot who all was dealt a hand in the poker match

I kept buying into the same excuse its a cultural difference.  Never accommodated to me.

I was blinded by the birds and stars on the one and she was finding reasons to leave early and acting weird on dates.  I should have cut her lose and chose one of the other 2 that are now married.

I think we're all blinded by beauty to some extent at one time or another. Not saying many, if any of us would pick a woman who's ugly as hell for a wife, but after a while--especially after a few 'whiles' and having been/felt burned, we look for more balance.

As has been said so many times, we "balance the big head with the little head".

I was soooo reluctant to commit after getting bummed and burned out that I kept my now wife on hold for nearly four years, telling myself--"too young, too pretty". Now a days with broadband internet, Skype and more almost everywhere, it's a different game.

Back then it was basically just really lousy internet connections via Yahoo, with webcam once in a while when things were working really good. Phone calls cost a small fortune--if you could get a decent connection. Plus, there weren't a lot of foreigners around. I told her for a long time--until I committed, that we were both free to see others--in fact I went to her country w/o even visiting her before we finally met in person.

You can't expect a woman anymore to wait years w/o her interests moving on and her entertaining other guys to some extent. Best figure "What I'm doing, SHE's doing too". I got lucky that it wasn't a situation where she was really interested in other guys and there weren't a lot around anyhow. That probably wouldn't happen today. I don't think I'd deal well with losing my place in line and possibly having a woman telling me lies to cover up reality. Some guys can think "I don't want to know and what I don't know won't hurt me"--I can't think that way.

Fact is you almost always need now to start with a large net, then whittle it down to a few, then ultimately to one and go see her, if you want to get quality and not just 'play the field.' More than ever, women are impatient because if you won't commit, there are other guys out there who will come visit and commit. Of course, the last two or three 'choices' are often the hardest to choose between for the guy and gal.
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