Why do they change their profile Foto when I send them a message on WhatsApp?

[Elexpatriado]

A few girls I have met (well actually quite a few) I keep corresponding with by "WhatsApp". Just as "friends" (because I have had a girlfriend for a while), and as the infamous member on here once  says "the monkey likes to have a hand on the banana in the next tree, even when he's eating his own Banana). Lesson I learned while living here. never take anything for granted.
Well some of them (mostly from Medellin) have fotos with themselves and guys in the foto. A couple even posted "Yo amo mi Novio" messages on their WhatsApp page.
But strangely, immediately after I send them a message, they delete the foto with the guy and put up an innocuous foto of themselves, or themselves with their kid, or sister, or whatever.
And to top it off , they then ask me "cuando vas a venir a Medellin?"
Do these girls think we are that dumb or what? LOL
The first time this happened a year or two ago, it was a girl from Pereira who visited me in Manizales, and told me she found me attractive and wanted a serious relation (yeah..really quickly).
Well I kept corresponding with her and a week or two later saw a picture of her with a guy in the foto. I never mentioned it, and we chatted, and then she asked me "cuando vas a venir a Pereira?" I didnt answer right away, but asked her if that was her Novio in the foto. She didn't lie, came up right away and admitted it.
I then said , well why the hell was she chatting with another guy  (me) , and inviting him to visit her ? This was very disrespectful to her supposed "Novio"..and this was typical of the girls from Pereira who had this "Bad" reputation..
Well she proceeded to give me a piece of her mind , defended her self and Pereira women , sent me some red angry faces like this but real red (I used to get these from Chicas all the time LOL) and blocked me on WhatsApp ..ja.ja.
Anyway..Flash ahead to present day.. I am a lot more mellow and less "Intenso" and when I see this kind of things in WhatsApp, unless its a girl I am really into, just laff a bit and let it slide..
But still what about these few girls (maybe 3 or 4 ,mostly from Medellin) who post pictures of guys, and when I send them a message, they delete the profile foto and ask me , "when are you coming to Medellin?"
There is even one who posted herself with a gringo , and before  he came posted "I love my Novio" with an airplane and all that, and then after he left , had a normal foto, and when I sent her a message, she asked "Cuando vas a venir a Medellin?"
Do you think these guys know their "Novias" are cavorting with gringos by WhatsApp, and occasionally meeting face to face? I am sure the Colombianos don't mind, as long as they are getting a piece of A$$, heck maybe they even think they can get some financial benefit out of her dating a gringo.
But what about the gringo in the long distance relation? Flying all the way to Medellin, maybe sending her money, put his heart into the relationship (maybe). Do you think he minds if she is dating other gringos? If she is talking to and dating other Gringos, what do you think happens with her and the local barrio boys?
Maybe the guy is one of the guys that follows this forum......who knows?''?
 

[Awesome]

Interesting stuff expat.  How did you meet these girls, ccupid?


Why don't you tell us about your current girlfriend?  How did you guys meet and what's kept the relationship going so long compared to your many other novias?




And yes CP would probably be the one who could shed the most light on the subject.  The more I read this forum and the more I hang out in Colombia, the more I realize how much I don't understand Colombian women.  All I can say is stick to women who have a good job and seem professional and respectable.  This last time I was in Colombia I was hanging around girls who had lower paying jobs, like working in clothing stores, hair products stores, hotel cleaning, and "confecciones" which is operating a sewing machine at a textile factory.  These girls and their friends are the ones who I noticed would hook up with a new boyfriend and right away he'd be living with her in her family home.  Not all of them but more than just 2 or 3.  Also these girls I was hanging out with lived in lower strata barrios like Aranjuez, Bello, Castilla, and Santo Domingo. 

[/size]I had this one guy who worked at the Tigo store in the shopping mall who was being real friendly with me talking about sports and he seemed like he wanted to hang out with me(no homo).  I regret not getting his phone number and hanging out with him because I saw at least 5 of his female co-workers who I'd love to date.  That was a perfect opportunity for me to meet some nice, hot, clean, respectable girls.  When I go back to Medellin I'm going to make it a point to go back to that store and make friends with that guy.


Another thing is if you're living in Colombia try to leave the cupid sites completely alone.  I'm sure there are plenty of great women on ccupid but, as you already know, meeting women through mutual friends and acquaintances is much better.  For example if you have a buddy who's an accountant and his wife is a real estate agent they're probably not going to introduce you to some chimbita who has a different barrio boy novio every month. 


Not to be rude but it seems like for whatever reason you seem to attract only women of low character expat.  I think the key for you would be to make friends with more professional types and only date women who move around those social circles.  But maybe you've figured that out already since you finally have a steady girlfriend.

[mudd]

many have so called " novios" in their barrios  but if something better comes along, they will grab it, if its worth it to them, hence " they don't let go of one branch until they have a grasp of the next"

many use whatsapp and skype for " work" if you get my point. lol

[Elexpatriado]

This only serves as light entertainment and to get some people thinking.....


Note I only said a "Few" women I have met  are  like this ,  and am not trying to make generalizations, by any means


And as I have stated before, you can find good and bad in either the rich or poor Colombianas.


The girl with the Gringo boyfriend lived in Envigado, which as you know, is one of the better barrios.

Interesting stuff expat.  How did you meet these girls, ccupid?


Why don't you tell us about your current girlfriend?  How did you guys meet and what's kept the relationship going so long compared to your many other novias?




And yes CP would probably be the one who could shed the most light on the subject.  The more I read this forum and the more I hang out in Colombia, the more I realize how much I don't understand Colombian women.  All I can say is stick to women who have a good job and seem professional and respectable.  This last time I was in Colombia I was hanging around girls who had lower paying jobs, like working in clothing stores, hair products stores, hotel cleaning, and "confecciones" which is operating a sewing machine at a textile factory.  These girls and their friends are the ones who I noticed would hook up with a new boyfriend and right away he'd be living with her in her family home.  Not all of them but more than just 2 or 3.  Also these girls I was hanging out with lived in lower strata barrios like Aranjuez, Bello, Castilla, and Santo Domingo. 

I had this one guy who worked at the Tigo store in the shopping mall who was being real friendly with me talking about sports and he seemed like he wanted to hang out with me(no homo).  I regret not getting his phone number and hanging out with him because I saw at least 5 of his female co-workers who I'd love to date.  That was a perfect opportunity for me to meet some nice, hot, clean, respectable girls.  When I go back to Medellin I'm going to make it a point to go back to that store and make friends with that guy.


Another thing is if you're living in Colombia try to leave the cupid sites completely alone.  I'm sure there are plenty of great women on ccupid but, as you already know, meeting women through mutual friends and acquaintances is much better.  For example if you have a buddy who's an accountant and his wife is a real estate agent they're probably not going to introduce you to some chimbita who has a different barrio boy novio every month. 


Not to be rude but it seems like for whatever reason you seem to attract only women of low character expat.  I think the key for you would be to make friends with more professional types and only date women who move around those social circles.  But maybe you've figured that out already since you finally have a steady girlfriend.

[Elexpatriado]

No these girls werent the latter type..all had steady jobs and hard working. I think the former explanation is better.
Though I really wonder about the girl with a gringo boyfriend who posted her platitudes mof love, but was asking me when I was coming to Medellin.


But then maybe she was just interested on a "friendly" basis. Maybe I am reading too much into this.

many have so called " novios" in their barrios  but if something better comes along, they will grab it, if its worth it to them, hence " they don't let go of one branch until they have a grasp of the next"

many use whatsapp and skype for " work" if you get my point. lol

[robert angel]

It's just like fishing. Read the water--the surface. Then you have to have the right equipment and bait to first attract and catch that 'certain' kind of fish. Then you have know the depth----top, middle or bottom to place the bait for that certain type, then when you get a bite, you have to know how and when to set the hook and how much line to let run out before you start cautiously reeling in. Some fish you have to let run a bit to see what you're really dealing with, others you need to keep the line pretty tight from the start. Then it's either keep or catch and release.....

Don't forget to correctly set the 'drag' on the reel for what you're hoping to catch, a common rookie mistake. If you're good, you might get one more chance to adjust the drag after you've set the hook on a real 'keeper'----but the best are pretty unforgiving.

[Awesome]

I think you're reading too much into it.  I have a buddy who's dating a nice girl who treats him like a king, but he's told me and I know that he's looking for something better, or what he thinks is better.


I don't think it's a Colombian thing.  Most people who aren't married and settled down would leave whoever they're with if something better came along.


I know a gringa who has a crush on me but I never went for her so she settled for a buddy of mine who's a little bit chubby and kind of nerdy.  I hate to say it but I'm pretty sure she's just with the guy because she doesn't want to be alone and she feels like she can't do any better at this point in time.  I'm almost certain that she wouldn't turn down a more handsome, higher paid guy if one were to come along and express interest in her.


I wouldn't be surprised if ALL women on ccupid have a Colombian novio, and some probably even have a part-time long-distance gringo novio, or maybe more than one.  The thing is she's still on the market so obviously whoever she has now isn't satisfying her enough that she's ready to totally stop looking for something better.


Like CP would probably say, you're worried about the wrong things.  Instead focus on how she treats YOU and when she feels like she's got a keeper and she feels like you're worthy the other guys will naturally fall by the wayside.

[benjio]

It's just like fishing. Read the water--the surface. Then you have to have the right equipment and bait to first attract and catch that 'certain' kind of fish. Then you have know the depth----top, middle or bottom to place the bait for that certain type, then when you get a bite, you have to know how and when to set the hook and how much line to let run out before you start cautiously reeling in. Some fish you have to let run a bit to see what you're really dealing with, others you need to keep the line pretty tight from the start. Then it's either keep or catch and release.....

Don't forget to correctly set the 'drag' on the reel for what you're hoping to catch, a common rookie mistake. If you're good, you might get one more chance to adjust the drag after you've set the hook on a real 'keeper'----but the best are pretty unforgiving.

Robert I guess I like fishing too much. I got totally lost in this metaphor trying to pick up on some good advice!!! LMAO!!!

[Awesome]

So expat are you going to tell us about your novia or not?  And are you going to tell us how you met all of these whatsapp game playing chicas?


I'm curious about something expat.  You live in Colombia, do you even have an Colombian friends?  I don't see how you could've been in Colombia this long and no good decent people have tried to hook you up with a nice, decent, quality lady.  Do you just stay in your house all day long spamming every single girl on colombiancupid ages 18-21?  Is that the extent of your social life?

[robert angel]

Robert I guess I like fishing too much. I got totally lost in this metaphor trying to pick up on some good advice!!! LMAO!!!

If that's so----I forgot something very critical. The retrieve---bringing home the prize. Again like male-female relationships, generally, the best fish don't hit a stationary, sedentary lure/bait, usually not something sitting on the bottom. Anyway, you can figure what bottom feeders eat--yuck--other than maybe a fluke or a flounder, which mostly eat safe plankton and small fish, skip them. But you've got to work the retrieve at the right pace---not too fast, sometimes intermittently, even jerking it, moving it. Action & motion drives em crazy. A slow, intermittent retrieve of a jig artificial lure or live minnow/ballyhoo using a jig setup up correctly (2 hook rig in salt water) will drive fresh and salt water fish nuts!!!

[benjio]

If that's so----I forgot something very critical. The retrieve---bringing home the prize. Again like male-female relationships, generally, the best fish don't hit a stationary, sedentary lure/bait, usually not something sitting on the bottom. Anyway, you can figure what bottom feeders eat--yuck--other than maybe a fluke or a flounder, which mostly eat safe plankton and small fish, skip them. But you've got to work the retrieve at the right pace---not too fast, sometimes intermittently, even jerking it, moving it. Action & motion drives em crazy. A slow, intermittent retrieve of a jig artificial lure or live minnow/ballyhoo using a jig setup up correctly (2 hook rig in salt water) will drive fresh and salt water fish nuts!!!

Okay...not to derail this thread but you and me gotta go fishing!!!! I've been hankering for some of themat Peacock Bass in Manaus!!!

[utopiacowboy]

I have two questions.


1. So the gringo is getting milked like a cow. Why should we care? As they say in Colombia no dar papaya and the guy is giving papaya big time.


2. Who cares what the chick is doing? Women are like buses - there's another one coming along every couple of minutes. I don't spend one nano second worrying what my wife is doing or not doing but she spends a helluva lot of time wondering what I am up to. Which is exactly how it should be.

[Hector_Lavoe]

A few girls I have met (well actually quite a few) I keep corresponding with by "WhatsApp". Just as "friends" (because I have had a girlfriend for a while), and as the infamous member on here once  says "the monkey likes to have a hand on the banana in the next tree, even when he's eating his own Banana). Lesson I learned while living here. never take anything for granted.
Well some of them (mostly from Medellin) have fotos with themselves and guys in the foto. A couple even posted "Yo amo mi Novio" messages on their WhatsApp page.
But strangely, immediately after I send them a message, they delete the foto with the guy and put up an innocuous foto of themselves, or themselves with their kid, or sister, or whatever.
And to top it off , they then ask me "cuando vas a venir a Medellin?"

Since you live in Manizales and not Medellin, I assume you are meeting these women on Colombian Cupid or another online dating site? Or did you meet them in person on prior visits there?

My guess is they are: 1) making sure they keep you as an option/friend in case their current relationship falls apart or 2) trying to trade up immediately to an in country gringo who might seem exotic to them and/or offer financial stability or cash/gifts.

[mambocowboy]

A few girls I have met (well actually quite a few) I keep corresponding with by "WhatsApp". Just as "friends" (because I have had a girlfriend for a while), and as the infamous member on here once  says "the monkey likes to have a hand on the banana in the next tree, even when he's eating his own Banana). Lesson I learned while living here. never take anything for granted.
Well some of them (mostly from Medellin) have fotos with themselves and guys in the foto. A couple even posted "Yo amo mi Novio" messages on their WhatsApp page.
But strangely, immediately after I send them a message, they delete the foto with the guy and put up an innocuous foto of themselves, or themselves with their kid, or sister, or whatever.
And to top it off , they then ask me "cuando vas a venir a Medellin?"
Do these girls think we are that dumb or what? LOL
The first time this happened a year or two ago, it was a girl from Pereira who visited me in Manizales, and told me she found me attractive and wanted a serious relation (yeah..really quickly).
Well I kept corresponding with her and a week or two later saw a picture of her with a guy in the foto. I never mentioned it, and we chatted, and then she asked me "cuando vas a venir a Pereira?" I didnt answer right away, but asked her if that was her Novio in the foto. She didn't lie, came up right away and admitted it.
I then said , well why the hell was she chatting with another guy  (me) , and inviting him to visit her ? This was very disrespectful to her supposed "Novio"..and this was typical of the girls from Pereira who had this "Bad" reputation..
Well she proceeded to give me a piece of her mind , defended her self and Pereira women , sent me some red angry faces like this but real red (I used to get these from Chicas all the time LOL) and blocked me on WhatsApp ..ja.ja.
Anyway..Flash ahead to present day.. I am a lot more mellow and less "Intenso" and when I see this kind of things in WhatsApp, unless its a girl I am really into, just laff a bit and let it slide..
But still what about these few girls (maybe 3 or 4 ,mostly from Medellin) who post pictures of guys, and when I send them a message, they delete the profile foto and ask me , "when are you coming to Medellin?"
There is even one who posted herself with a gringo , and before  he came posted "I love my Novio" with an airplane and all that, and then after he left , had a normal foto, and when I sent her a message, she asked "Cuando vas a venir a Medellin?"
Do you think these guys know their "Novias" are cavorting with gringos by WhatsApp, and occasionally meeting face to face? I am sure the Colombianos don't mind, as long as they are getting a piece of A$$, heck maybe they even think they can get some financial benefit out of her dating a gringo.
But what about the gringo in the long distance relation? Flying all the way to Medellin, maybe sending her money, put his heart into the relationship (maybe). Do you think he minds if she is dating other gringos? If she is talking to and dating other Gringos, what do you think happens with her and the local barrio boys?
Maybe the guy is one of the guys that follows this forum......who knows?''?

Dude, gringas also keep their options open. They are just much better at covering their tracks. Colombianas' manipulations are so much easier to read than gringas and that's part of why we love them. This thread says more about you than about them.  You so often focus on the negative. Your negativity towards Colombianas must be holding you back, I have to imagine...

[Calipro]

A few girls I have met (well actually quite a few) I keep corresponding with by "WhatsApp". Just as "friends" (because I have had a girlfriend for a while), and as the infamous member on here once  says "the monkey likes to have a hand on the banana in the next tree, even when he's eating his own Banana). Lesson I learned while living here. never take anything for granted.
Well some of them (mostly from Medellin) have fotos with themselves and guys in the foto. A couple even posted "Yo amo mi Novio" messages on their WhatsApp page.
But strangely, immediately after I send them a message, they delete the foto with the guy and put up an innocuous foto of themselves, or themselves with their kid, or sister, or whatever.
And to top it off , they then ask me "cuando vas a venir a Medellin?"
Do these girls think we are that dumb or what? LOL
The first time this happened a year or two ago, it was a girl from Pereira who visited me in Manizales, and told me she found me attractive and wanted a serious relation (yeah..really quickly).
Well I kept corresponding with her and a week or two later saw a picture of her with a guy in the foto. I never mentioned it, and we chatted, and then she asked me "cuando vas a venir a Pereira?" I didnt answer right away, but asked her if that was her Novio in the foto. She didn't lie, came up right away and admitted it.
I then said , well why the hell was she chatting with another guy  (me) , and inviting him to visit her ? This was very disrespectful to her supposed "Novio"..and this was typical of the girls from Pereira who had this "Bad" reputation..
Well she proceeded to give me a piece of her mind , defended her self and Pereira women , sent me some red angry faces like this but real red (I used to get these from Chicas all the time LOL) and blocked me on WhatsApp ..ja.ja.
Anyway..Flash ahead to present day.. I am a lot more mellow and less "Intenso" and when I see this kind of things in WhatsApp, unless its a girl I am really into, just laff a bit and let it slide..
But still what about these few girls (maybe 3 or 4 ,mostly from Medellin) who post pictures of guys, and when I send them a message, they delete the profile foto and ask me , "when are you coming to Medellin?"
There is even one who posted herself with a gringo , and before  he came posted "I love my Novio" with an airplane and all that, and then after he left , had a normal foto, and when I sent her a message, she asked "Cuando vas a venir a Medellin?"
Do you think these guys know their "Novias" are cavorting with gringos by WhatsApp, and occasionally meeting face to face? I am sure the Colombianos don't mind, as long as they are getting a piece of A$$, heck maybe they even think they can get some financial benefit out of her dating a gringo.
But what about the gringo in the long distance relation? Flying all the way to Medellin, maybe sending her money, put his heart into the relationship (maybe). Do you think he minds if she is dating other gringos? If she is talking to and dating other Gringos, what do you think happens with her and the local barrio boys?
Maybe the guy is one of the guys that follows this forum......who knows?''?

It's these kinds of posts that make me wonder if you really live in Colombia.


There are no really hot young women in Colombia without children that are single in the sense that they don't have anything going on with someone.....just the way it is. They call them novios but they aren't really anything more than someone to spend time with.


Any girl that is faithful to you is either just madly in love with you (spends every waking moment with you or is calling every moment you are away from her). Or you have the right combination of looks and money and  you have committed to her.....you live with her or have put a ring on her finger with definite plans for a future together.


It's not bad being a novio.....enjoyable quality time spent together (great sex).....but if someone comes along with a serious offer for a long term future with your girl.....you can be kicked to the curb with very little notice.....happened to me a few months ago.


Guys that are sending women money without a serious laid out plan to move in with her or get married or get her a visa are crazy......you can't pay young hot women to stay home.....not going to happen. Only thing that will hold them back is if they are crazy in love with you..... or you have made a very serious commitment to them that they can see with their own eyes.


" El amor de lejos...es para los pendejos"


When I was living with my last girlfriend in Cali....I met a chick that I liked a lot that had a boyfriend.....I went out with her a few times and would have liked to have gotten more serious with her but she balked.....I told her she had a novio and I had a novia but we could still go out and see each other.....she told me "novia...I'm not worried about a novia....but you don't have a novia....you have a mujer....you live with her".

[Elexpatriado]

I gave up my membership in those sites a long time ago.These girls are mostly old contacts.
But I admit  do spend to much time on this and other sites.
Actually, I spend an awful lot of time travelling around and outside Colombia. I have been to more places in Colombia than 99% of Colombians.I could make travelogues that put KAIs and Andy Lees travelogues to shame if  I wanted to, but I am too lazy to document these things. Plus I would need Andy's writing/editing skills and KAIS software technical skills to help me do a professional product. Too lazy for all that.
Yes obviously I have Colombian friends.My best friend has even introduced me to a few girls.here.
Right now I am still recovering from food poisoning I got on my last trip, so I am wasting a Little time making a post on this site.
As far as my girlfriend...lets just say there are some things I like not to share personal details about on a public site. I think people can respect that.
 

So expat are you going to tell us about your novia or not?  And are you going to tell us how you met all of these whatsapp game playing chicas?


I'm curious about something expat.  You live in Colombia, do you even have an Colombian friends?  I don't see how you could've been in Colombia this long and no good decent people have tried to hook you up with a nice, decent, quality lady.  Do you just stay in your house all day long spamming every single girl on colombiancupid ages 18-21?  Is that the extent of your social life?

[Elexpatriado]

Hey whatever I post, certain people here are going to take it negatively and turn it into a personal attack. I am used to it, thats Okay.
Like I said, only for light entertainment and food for thought.
I really dont get excited by any of this or see anything negative in whats happening. Just some interesting obserrvations to stir things up a bit.
 But I do wonder about the girl with the Gringo boyfriend. Maybe he doesnt care . Maybe he has gals in several countrys..
 

Dude, gringas also keep their options open. They are just much better at covering their tracks. Colombianas' manipulations are so much easier to read than gringas and that's part of why we love them. This thread says more about you than about them.  You so often focus on the negative. Your negativity towards Colombianas must be holding you back, I have to imagine...

[Elexpatriado]

Since you live in Manizales and not Medellin, I assume you are meeting these women on Colombian Cupid or another online dating site? Or did you meet them in person on prior visits there?

My guess is they are: 1) making sure they keep you as an option/friend in case their current relationship falls apart or 2) trying to trade up immediately to an in country gringo who might seem exotic to them and/or offer financial stability or cash/gifts.

Both CC and LAC and previous contacts I have met there hanging around. I lieved in Medellin for a couple years off and on.

[vikingo]

I have two questions.


1. So the gringo is getting milked like a cow. Why should we care? As they say in Colombia no dar papaya and the guy is giving papaya big time.


2. Who cares what the chick is doing? Women are like buses - there's another one coming along every couple of minutes. I don't spend one nano second worrying what my wife is doing or not doing but she spends a helluva lot of time wondering what I am up to. Which is exactly how it should be.

Don't take this the wrong way, utopia, Elex' gf's have no reason in the world to worry what he is up to, him dating young, attractive women, no kids, those kind of women don't get a headache whether Elex worries about them or not, they just go on to the next 'victim', lol.
In your case however, a middle aged woman with 4 kids, and having a great stepfather for her kids, I imagine having gone through some serious disappointments and infidelity in the past, sure she worries how you feel about her and if you may wander off one of these days. 

[Elexpatriado]

Hey man,come on. of course I know all that, like you said , a woman is not your women until you are shacked up with her and in a serious relation. A relacion de lejos es una relacion de pendejos (or feliz para cuatro). I sure dont expect these women not to have "novios" or "amigos especiales" and be waiting around like nuns for the right guy to come along. Well, maybe some of the girls do, some of the time ..
But still, funny the way they change their WhatsApp foto when I send them a message. I only know one who is 100% honest about it, and has told me about her two Novios she has had in the past 6  months.
I wouldnt put a girls foto in my WhatsApp profile, or FaceBook profile , and post all this stuff about "Yo amo Mi Novia" until we were 100% commited , serious relationship.
Maybe thats just a cultural difference. Or just  personality differences of some people.
And I wonder about the gringo. But maybe he has several in different cities and countries, who knows?
Anyway, just some light entertainment. Nothing irksome or bothersome.

It's these kinds of posts that make me wonder if you really live in Colombia.


There are no really hot young women in Colombia without children that are single in the sense that they don't have anything going on with someone.....just the way it is. They call them novios but they aren't really anything more than someone to spend time with.


Any girl that is faithful to you is either just madly in love with you (spends every waking moment with you or is calling every moment you are away from her). Or you have the right combination of looks and money and  you have committed to her.....you live with her or have put a ring on her finger with definite plans for a future together.


It's not bad being a novio.....enjoyable quality time spent together (great sex).....but if someone comes along with a serious offer for a long term future with your girl.....you can be kicked to the curb with very little notice.....happened to me a few months ago.


Guys that are sending women money without a serious laid out plan to move in with her or get married or get her a visa are crazy......you can't pay young hot women to stay home.....not going to happen. Only thing that will hold them back is if they are crazy in love with you..... or you have made a very serious commitment to them that they can see with their own eyes.


" El amor de lejos...es para los pendejos"


When I was living with my last girlfriend in Cali....I met a chick that I liked a lot that had a boyfriend.....I went out with her a few times and would have liked to have gotten more serious with her but she balked.....I told her she had a novio and I had a novia but we could still go out and see each other.....she told me "novia...I'm not worried about a novia....but you don't have a novia....you have a mujer....you live with her".

[vikingo]

My two cents on the subject of Colombian women, it is impossible to generalize even though the great majority of them want a child or two and if they don't already have them they are going to want them. It's an extremely strong drive for them to have their 'negrito', (an endearing term in Colombia.)
Apart from this they want economic security, having seen poverty all around them for their entire life, except for the estrato 6 girls who turned up their noses at this problem.
They want a reliable, decent guy who accepts their culture, food, music, salsa soccer games and being attached to the family and a satisfactory sex life.
If she has a boy and you are unhappy about the way he is raised she expects you to accept him the way he is and not critizise him. (there are exceptions).
Her mom is sacred to her, do not ignore or ever critizise her mom.
If you take her out of her country she expects regular trips home to see her family, like twice a year, even if there is a posibility she is running into an old bf, yeah.
She doesn't want to be cut off from the Colombian community in her new country even though there is always a posibility that she could be admired by someone who speaks her language and knows her culture in and out, is more charming then her gringo husband, better looking, better educated or makes more money and has a bigger car and house and knows how to dazzle her with BS.
Finally, I think and according to my experience you will never know her heart and soul and a colombiana you can read like an open book is a rare find.
True love is if you guys interchange passwords for Facebook, e-mail accounts and cell phones, even if nobody looks at the other accounts, it results in a strong measure of confidence in the relationship.
If she is very secretive with her cell or FB, do what I did and hack them.
You might be in for the biggest surprise of your life, I sure was.

[utopiacowboy]

Don't take this the wrong way, utopia, Elex' gf's have no reason in the world to worry what he is up to, him dating young, attractive women, no kids, those kind of women don't get a headache whether Elex worries about them or not, they just go on to the next 'victim', lol.
In your case however, a middle aged woman with 4 kids, and having a great stepfather for her kids, I imagine having gone through some serious disappointments and infidelity in the past, sure she worries how you feel about her and if you may wander off one of these days.

Maybe that is the secret then, always make sure that she has more to lose than you do. You might be surprised how insecure even the young attractive women are.

[vikingo]

Right you are, utopia, that's the secret formula: 'Has she more or less to lose than you do.' Excellent analysis.
Has she less to lose than you do she might get adventurous, lol or drop you like a ton of bricks when you least expect it.

[Elexpatriado]

Maybe it might be better if two people had honest, deep, sincere love and respect for each other. Then no matter what her faults were and your faults were, you or her would never think about leaving for someone "better"..
But I realize this may be a fairy tale..
 

Right you are, utopia, that's the secret formula: 'Has she more or less to lose than you do.' Excellent analysis.
Has she less to lose than you do she might get adventurous, lol or drop you like a ton of bricks when you least expect it.

[mambocowboy]

My two cents on the subject of Colombian women, it is impossible to generalize even though the great majority of them want a child or two and if they don't already have them they are going to want them. It's an extremely strong drive for them to have their 'negrito', (an endearing term in Colombia.)
Apart from this they want economic security, having seen poverty all around them for their entire life, except for the estrato 6 girls who turned up their noses at this problem.
They want a reliable, decent guy who accepts their culture, food, music, salsa soccer games and being attached to the family and a satisfactory sex life.
If she has a boy and you are unhappy about the way he is raised she expects you to accept him the way he is and not critizise him. (there are exceptions).
Her mom is sacred to her, do not ignore or ever critizise her mom.
If you take her out of her country she expects regular trips home to see her family, like twice a year, even if there is a posibility she is running into an old bf, yeah.
She doesn't want to be cut off from the Colombian community in her new country even though there is always a posibility that she could be admired by someone who speaks her language and knows her culture in and out, is more charming then her gringo husband, better looking, better educated or makes more money and has a bigger car and house and knows how to dazzle her with BS.
Finally, I think and according to my experience you will never know her heart and soul and a colombiana you can read like an open book is a rare find.
True love is if you guys interchange passwords for Facebook, e-mail accounts and cell phones, even if nobody looks at the other accounts, it results in a strong measure of confidence in the relationship.
If she is very secretive with her cell or FB, do what I did and hack them.
You might be in for the biggest surprise of your life, I sure was.

My wife has been back to Colombia once since she came to the States May 2012. Unusual maybe but I have always encouraged her adaptation here and she is doing a great job. I know too many gringos who pay for trips back every 3 months. A big mistake in my opinion...