Another one abandons fiancée

[mudd]

Here is another bad story. Guy I know who went to Medellin last year when I was there, met a girl who was 20 years old. He is 49, give or take a few years. Nice guy, little clueless sometimes, but normal. Met this girl, I also met her, but decided she way too young for me, and I am younger than him. She seemed very nice, normal, would do many things for him when he was in town, make a party for him and so forth. They eventually filed for the k1 visa, she received it in January, and she went  to the USA, and was there for a total of 29 days, before she took off. Left all her clothes, paperwork, birth cert but took her passport, she also took $ 700 from her fiancée and she is somewhere in Arizona

As he told me, she didn’t want to go to English classes, would lay on the couch until 11am, didn’t want to do anything more than watch TV. And somehow, he got her a job at a local subway or something, she worked for 2 days and quit, said it was beneath her and she didn’t go to the USA to work for pennies. There is more to the story I am sure, but to sum it up in a nutshell. Too big of an age difference, didn’t know the girl well enough, or a lack of communication between them as far as the future plans and maybe he wasn’t totally clear of what he expected of her once she was in the usa, and her with him.

[rpcv]

Yeah, that does seem to be a big age difference. (20-49y/o). Of course I wonder how long he knew her and if they talked about what type of life she would have here in the USA. Doesn't sound as if she was homesick for Colombia; more along the lines that she was immature, etc..

I remember my first trip to Medellin when I met a few women that fit her description. I could have ended up in a similar situation but my insticts told me it wasn't a good deal.

[Kiltboy1]

I hope guys here will read this and the light bulb will turn on. The problem with most guys is that they think because these woman are from a poor country, they should bow at there feet no matter how old or how fat , bald and ugly they are. I for one hope all guys that go down there with that attitude get BITCHED SLAPPED by this much younger, but wayyyyy much smarter woman.The more guys that get SCREWED over  for being stupid, the better off the whole process will be for guys that use there head . Of course age is not everything, my train wreck ex wife was 27 when i met her and i was 37, so you have to look for the other signs too, but a 20-30 age gap is asking for trouble.And when i first went down, i was soo green, i had avacados shooting out my arse !

KB

[sawyer1370]

If you are not 100% sure the girl is "The One" then move on, no matter how pretty, young, sexy or nice she is.  My wife wasn't the best looking lady I met, but she was "The One" for me.  I met a couple girls that were honest to goodness 10's (and I'm a tough judge).  I mean equal to Brook Burke and such.  But they were already too Americanize even in Cali.  Nice to look at, but wouldn't go near.

A good friend I met on my first trip, who stayed in touch for a few years, met this girl after seeing her pic on one of the agency websites.  She was 17 years younger.  He wanted her from the get go.  Long story short, she came on a student visa somehow.  After he supported her in Cali for over a year, sending over $1,000 a month to her.  He owned a gym in Florida.  They were both into fitness, she was very into it.  She didn't even want to work at his gym (which was a major chain he bought into).  She had a couple of male friends she would "hang out with".  One year after she was here, she left him for one of her friends.

I saw it coming from the first day I met her, as did EVERYONE, even the girls that worked at the agency.  There were tons of RED flags, but he ignored them all!  We all tried to warn him, even my wife, which at that point we weren't married yet.  I even pulled him aside and had a very honest chat. 

Nope, still didn't learn, out over 2 years of a messy relationship, when there were many other prettier, nicer girls who were interested in him.  Out tens of thousands of dollars.

Some guys will never learn!

[papi]

wait! i'm confused? i thought everything was diamonds and glitter in cali and a gringo can't go wrong. I guess i must have missed another memo

[Fuzzyone]

wait! i'm confused? i thought everything was diamonds and glitter in cali and a gringo can't go wrong. I guess i must have missed another memo

  I think this post went over your head but let me try to explain it to you. The guy was 49 to girl repeat girl was 20, she did not want to work and he finally got tired of the crap and gave her the heave ho. Easy enough has nothing to do with Cali nor going on line to find woman, enough said!

[Calipro]

They eventually filed for the k1 visa, she received it in January, and she went  to the USA, and was there for a total of 29 days, before she took off. Left all her clothes, paperwork, birth cert but took her passport, she also took $ 700 from her fiancée and she is somewhere in Arizona

Sounds like the guy got off easy at $700 bucks. He should thank God she wasn't one of those much talked about green card sharks. hehehe !!!

I recommend that guys live with their women in Colombia for at least a couple of months before bringing them here.

If you find out her whereabouts in Arizona, let me know and I'll look her up and get her side of the story.

[el_ruso]

Well, on the surface it was a long-shot, given the age difference. 

My guess is that most likely he promised her a lifestyle different from working at Subway...

[P Daddy]

I don't feel sorry for the guy at all, and don't blame the girl...desperate times call for desperate measures...take Calipro's advice, but multiply the time frame by 3 or 4...live with her at least a year in Colombia...DON'T MARRY AFTER ONE TRIP!!  don't take out a fiancé visa after one or two trips...take your time...don't be desperate...I've been with my girl for 19 months, and we're in no rush to get married.  It takes time to get to know these women...and if you don't speak spanish...fogetaboutit. 

[JimmySTLOUIS]

each story has two sides

I assume this was the guys story - I like Calipros idea of looking her up and getting her side of the story

but the bottom line is $700 is getting off light - count your blessings


jim

[blockbuster]

$700 bucks is a bargain. Saw a guy I know the other day at the coffe shop nearby. Asked him how his Cuban wife was.He said "fine" but I knew things did'nt sound right. So I fished. Turns out she thought she could be a model in the U.S. Well, she's hot, but 5'5' does not a model make . So he tries paying all kinds of money for photos, enters her in numerous contest ect. She wins a few and meets up a big shot money guy from Florida. Now she's in Florida and he's waiting hoping she will come to her senses.

 I could have predicted this was going to happen. This girl was beautiful, but not very sharp. She also would flirt with any decent looking guy who came her way. Unfortunately, my friend did'nt realize a girl he met when she was 17, married her at 20 was going to change. She and her family treated him like God and when he met her, he thought she would be that way forever.  He  did as calipro recomended and would go and visit a few times a year staying months at a time as he makes a lot of money in his business so he can do that. But young ones are very prone to changing quickly. You can't second guess them as they rarely know what they want long term. Can't blame them either as we all were young once and we know how flighty love can be when we were 20.

[william3rd]

but- what precisely is she going to do in the US now? She has a deadline to go home. If I were the guy, I would be sending a detailed letter to the consulate and the service center explaining her desertion and that a marriage is not likely to occur...

She is just out looking for another guy right now. . . .

Tough luck on that one. . . .

SOrry for your friend. . . .

[blockbuster]

William,

 Do you hear these types of stories often? It's very easy for a woman to get "lost" in the U.S. Believe me, I tried to report an illegal once it is not a priority .  She will eventually find some sucker to marry her and give her a green card or I bet you a mil she is now working at some strip joing making oodles of money.

   The Brazilians,Russians and latinas always know they can go to these places for quick cash and noone will question their fake ID's. At one point, the srip joint I would frequent was loaded with Russian,Brazilians and Colombians. They got rid of all the white girls as the foreign ones really know how to hustle the guys for money and make them keep coming back. They knew how to make every guy feel like he was "special" even after unloading his wallet. The white dancers weren't as smooth.. The Asians don't do that so often.

[Ray]

She will eventually find some sucker to marry her and give her a green card...

Block,

She can marry another U.S. citizen but she won’t get a Green Card. With a K-1 visa, she can only adjust status if she marries the original petitioner, and it must be done within 90 days of arrival. If she married another dude, even if she did it within 90 days, she would still have to leave the country so he could petition her under a spouse visa.

You’re correct about reporting illegals. ICE just doesn’t care. If they took calls from the public reporting illegals, they would probably need another 10,000 agents just to take the calls…   

And once somebody decides to overstay their visa, the chances of them being caught and deported are about zero. Maybe if they get arrested for a fairly serious crime, ICE might pick them up and deport them. But the way our immigration laws are written, it is pretty easy for a knowledgeable lawyer to block deportation by tying it up in the courts forever. This country just doesn’t have the balls to deport illegals and the whiny leftist open-border whackos will never stand for any kind of real enforcement. Once you get past the border, you’re here to stay if that’s what you want.

SUX!

[el_ruso]

Ray,

that is untrue.  There are many raids.  For example, there were hundreds of people arrested at work in December right before the holidays.

Miami Herald had an article last week about many people detained - in Texas I believe - in jail-like conditions, with children separated from parents, and with parents not even allowed to see them, and with children going malnourished.

I grew up in a country where people were encouraged to snitch on others, and there was plenty of personnel to take calls, and it didn't do us any good.  Trust me!  I would not want to have the same thing started here.

[soltero]

Ray,

that is untrue.  There are many raids. 

Yes, and No...

They go after situations where they can catch as many as possible, but going after one person is not going to happen unless they commit a serious crime that they would be chased for anyway. A single person would have to pretty much turn themselves in to be caught.

[william3rd]

Hey Block- Of course I hear of a lot of these stories. I also hear alot of my colleagues in the local bar assn talking about things like that.

There is even some insane talk about trying to extend VAWA to fiancees. I am hoping to be able to participate in any efforts to BLOCK further expansion of VAWA to fiancees, if the babble becomes a future reality.

Fiancees can stay if they can file for asylum and convince an asylum officer or later- an immigration judge that there are issues of persecution in their homeland and that there is a credible fear of persecution. They would have to be a victim of that persecution ( I am paraphrasing; if you want to learn about asylum requirements-go look it up).

Fiancees could concievable marry someone else other than their petitioner. However, they cannot adjust in the US and would have to go out of the US and potentially face the 3 or 10 year bar on returning. Previous "amnesties" have not extended to fiancees who fail to marry their petitioners.

[papi]

and if you don't speak spanish...fogetaboutit. 

I must respectfully disagree. While I think some of the newbie optimism expressed here might be in for a rude awakening, a % of non-speakers do marry and succeed. Doom can probably tell you the numbers better than me and I don't argue that having spanish is a huge plus, but a guy can hook up and succeed without it. Case it point, look at our local pretty boy

[michaelb]

William-Hello? A dead line to leave the country? No? Really? I'll bet she's quaking in her boots worrying about that! What's she going to do, you ask? Well, strip clubs have already been mentioned, and if she's "not THAT kind of girl", there are STILL plenty of jobs where they don't look too closely (if they look at all) at your papers.

CaliPro-good point, we haven't heard her side...as Waylon sang "The good life he promised ain't what she's living today"....that could well have been the case when she arrived....not that that absolves her, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's pretty close to the truth.

Not taking the woman's side, mind you, but somehow I can't work up too much sympathy for men who try to marry women younger than their daughters (I know, I know, a daughter wasn't mentioned, so we don't know if he actually has one or not, but the point is that if he did, she'd probably be older than the fiancee).

[Ray]

Ray,

that is untrue.  There are many raids.  For example, there were hundreds of people arrested at work in December right before the holidays.

Miami Herald had an article last week about many people detained - in Texas I believe - in jail-like conditions, with children separated from parents, and with parents not even allowed to see them, and with children going malnourished.

I grew up in a country where people were encouraged to snitch on others, and there was plenty of personnel to take calls, and it didn't do us any good.  Trust me!  I would not want to have the same thing started here.

Huh? WHAT is untrue?

Those Politically-Timed Immigration Raids are mostly a big joke to get publicity and then most of the illegals are released. Go back and research those raids and tell us how many have actually been deported.

I wouldn't believe all that leftist propaganda you read in the media. Poor malnourished children? BS! Instead of whining about the mean old immigration cops mistreating illegals and starving their children, how about some sympathy for the poor Americans who had their identities stolen by illegals so they could lie their way into some job.

And PLEASE don't even attempt to compare Soviet Russia to the United States! You came from a country where people were dying to get out. I come form a country where people are dying to get in.

If you came here LEGALLY, then welcome to America my friend. But if you are here ILLEGALLY, then get the hell out!     

Ray

[blockbuster]

 I hate it when people use the analogy that illegal immigrants will take the jobs noone wants. Look, legal immigrants do the same, when they first get here. I know people from Africa who take menial jobs when they get here legally and go to school in the meantime so they can be educated. They are motivated to learn English, because they want to get ahead.

 Our schools are now also so full of immigrant kids who can't get out of ESL classes.Less teachers available. Meanwhile they continue to say American kids are not as smart as the rest of the world because they score low on test. Well, do the immigrant kids lower the average? How many countries can say they have too little teachers because their schools are getting crowed with illegals that can't speak English? They have report cards now ALL in Spanish. These illegals are not even encouraged to learn English. We have to spend money to cater to their language,instead of expecting them to learn ours. Ridiculous!!!

[william3rd]

Hmmm- I dont recall asking what she might be doing. . . . and, if you knew me better except from replying to one post, you would probably be rewriting your post.

Somebody is trying to be antagonistic. Doesnt work with me.

As far as illegals go, my opinion is that they ought to all be shipped home. In place of the illegals, there are an equal number of persons waiting in the family preference categories overseas. Some of these folks will wait for 25 years to LAWFULLY emigrate here, at which time they are more likely to more of a burden than an asset.

So, my idea is lock down the borders, imprison the employers who hire(and I mean imprison), deport the illegals here (giving them an amnesty for their illegal time if they go home NOW on their own), and accelerate the admission under the family preference categories.

Will it happen? NAAAW- no political backbone.

[chizz]

Hello,
Without knowing to much about the story, I can say this. 20years old??? Sorry, don't care what country they come from, 20 years old is still 20 years old. I am in my late 30's and i consider probably 26, the youngest I would go. My ideal would be between 28-32. That's just the beginning, i would factor in alot of other things before any thought of bringing a woman up here crosses my mind. It doesn't matter how smart these women think they are, if they are up to no good or have devious motives, it eventually comes out, you just have to be alert enought to catch it. Some see the red flag and ignore it, they get what they deserve if that's the case. However, if you're unsure or have some doubt, just asked someone you trust what they think. It's not being paranoid being on alert, it's being smart. Since you're investing alot of time(hopefully) and money into this, you should do all that you can to make sure  everything is legit. I don't think this guy did that, and he ended up paying the price, too bad.
Chizz

[utopiacowboy]

" Our schools are now also so full of immigrant kids who can't get out of ESL classes."

My stepkids went from not knowing ANY English and being in ESL to being completely out of ESL a year later. The two older ones still speak with slight accents but the younger one speaks English like a native.

[P Daddy]

are you on team nutjob?? hehe. I must respectfully disagree. While I think some of the newbie optimism expressed here might be in for a rude awakening, a % of non-speakers do marry and succeed. Doom can probably tell you the numbers better than me and I don't argue that having spanish is a huge plus, but a guy can hook up and succeed without it. Case it point, look at our local pretty boy

with all respect to "Doom"...there is NO WAY in hell he has accurate statistics on the success or failure of marriages whereby men marry a latina, and can or cannot speak spanish...so, if you're looking for help or assistance from him in order to prove my statement wrong...well...
fogetaboutit...

And by the way, if you re-read my post, I was referring to GETTING TO KNOW THE WOMAN WELL...in other words, if you can't speak spanish, there is no way you are going to get to know the woman well in a short time period...