Barranquilla Trip Report - Jamie's Agency

[Colgando]

Colgando can i ask you a serious honest question about that dispearing lady: if its too personal dont respond if you think its gonna help guys to see it answer


I tried to analyze that situation with her and:
That lady that disapeared on you: Do you think it was her or you ultimately that may have caused that. now dont just answer HER FOR SURE. if you are going to say that def give reasons.

I dont know if it was totally her fault. Maybe she felt cheated by you? Maybe she felt you werent being honest. Do you feel you were being honest enough.

THIS matters to me because if i go....i dont want to have a girl i like be thinking if i mdishonest and such with her. Im wondering how open and honest being could make a difference in a situation like that one is all.

Well, being the one that was on the ground and experiencing everything 1st hand, I would say fault lies with all parties involved. Me, her and the agency. In the end, I think everything worked out for the best, everyone learned something hopefully, she is not the one for me and I am not the one for her. I think she has a lot of potential and I do think she will bounce back after she works through whatever she is going through and matures a little more. The agency puts a lot of pressure on these women, but that is the way it goes. I learned a lot, I must say, I was not fully prepared for these women, I am so accustomed to dealing with typical AW that the exotic beauty, affection, passion of these women had me literally intoxicated, sensory overload to the tune of 25 women in rapid fire succession, lost my senses and my judgement was impaired. But like some toxins, the body builds up a tolerance for it, so next time I will have a stronger tolerance for these women and not loose my senses, that is the theory anyways. 

I disagree, I do think I would still need to go back. The one advantage of our relationship moving so quickly is that I was able to see that she had the capacity to drop off the grid and not give anyone a courtesy call or email. This sounds like common behavior for many of the Colombianas when they want to break it off with a guy however, I have zero tolerance for that, I find that to be very disrespectful. Now that I know she is capable of doing that, I lost the interest that I had in her. She was not into me anymore for whatever reason, but she should have sent the agency a courtesy email or call saying so. To this day, she has not responded to the agency and she has been removed from the website.

I wouldn't worry about it too much Col, your experience will probably be completely different than mine. Jamie says that 90% of the men leave with a strong interest, of those 90%, 50% get married to that strong interest. Too many variables and moving parts to use my experience as a hard template. I would say that I was very honest with her. Keep in mind that I only knew this woman for 4 days in ideal scenarios. Not long enough to really evaluate her based on her actions. She has a whole life, whole family, whole friends, whole life history that I only got to take a sneak peak at. Who knows what else was going on in this woman's head, she was 100% into me from first sight, for 4 days, then it went to 0% overnight, never to be seen or heard from again. That is a 1st for me, buy hey, [snip] happens, gotta roll with the punches and keep it moving.

I hope it works out for you on your first trip and you find what it is that you seek.

[dennislevy]

Col

It s clear that you learned some important things in the brief time that you were in Colombia.

As far as her method of disengaging...the avoidance without closure......that is normal for a young woman and probably for many women of all ages in Colombia.,

You call it disrespect...but understand that a fundamental issue of Colombian society is that (unless people know each other very well) people dont treat each with respect. I ve had this conversation wth umpteen people, and they tell me..... tienes rodo razon or you are completely correct.....

But....

From our Americna pont of vew, there is a pervasive lack of manners, trust, courtesy and consideration in this country. Either a man develops his own rules for how he deals  with Colombian women or he bitches endlessly

And you are right, you never know a Colombia woman until you are in her home, meet her family and see how she lives. You CAN T know a woman after 4 dates in an agency environment.

Ok keep plugging and let us know definitely when you re in BQ, if you like and Im in BQ at that time, we ll get together, for at least coffee. 

[Colgando]

Col

It s clear that you learned some important things in the brief time that you were in Colombia.

As far as her method of disengaging...the avoidance without closure......that is normal for a young woman and probably for many women of all ages in Colombia.,

You call it disrespect...but understand that a fundamental issue of Colombian society is that (unless people know each other very well) people dont treat each with respect. I ve had this conversation wth umpteen people, and they tell me..... tienes rodo razon or you are completely correct.....

But....

From our Americna pont of vew, there is a pervasive lack of manners, trust, courtesy and consideration in this country. Either a man develops his own rules for how he deals  with Colombian women or he bitches endlessly

And you are right, you never know a Colombia woman until you are in her home, meet her family and see how she lives. You CAN T know a woman after 4 dates in an agency environment.

Ok keep plugging and let us know definitely when you re in BQ, if you like and Im in BQ at that time, we ll get together, for at least coffee. 

Yes sir, I am a quick learner, I am always observing and analyzing my environment. I did learn a lot this first trip, I am fortunate.

I am not the complaining type, so now I understand how women break-off relationships sometimes in Colombia. If and when that happens to me again, I will take it for what it is and immediately move on, no hard feelings, that's just how they do break-ups. If and when I break-up with one of them, I will certainly let them know, as I have done with all my past girlfriends I broke-up with, since that is the way I want to be treated.

This 1st trip has made me much more cautious in this adventure, to get a taste of that kind of disrespect in an up close way really opened my eyes. If I do ever end-up importing a bride, it is going to take some time for me to know her well, know her family, know her home life, all of that.

But hey, I made it a couple of steps up the mountain, problem is, the mountain seems even bigger after my first trip!

You mentioned that you mirror the emotions of these women and that was a thesis subject for another time. Could you expound upon that subject, mirroring the emotions of a Colombiana? I am curious what you mean by this and how that plays out in your dealings with Colombianas.

[utopiacowboy]

"From our Americna pont of vew, there is a pervasive lack of manners, trust, courtesy and consideration in this country. Either a man develops his own rules for how he deals  with Colombian women or he bitches endlessly"

I disagree completely. Colombians are generally much more courteous than Americans. You have to be in a country where you an have someone killed for $100. I can think of numerous examples where Americans would do something without thinking like asking a woman to dance whereas in Colombia you better ask her husband or boyfriend or make sure she is unattached.

[colcorazon]

Colgando... good response.

I find the mountain point interesting:

Im sure when you went down you probably assumed it would be [relatively] easy (this is an assumption).

Ill be honest... i think some of us have 2 sides to our idea about our first trip to Jamies... especially if you havent been yet.

The first is "Man im a cool dude, il go down there be cool and have these ladies eating falling for me".

Now the above doesnt necessarily mean for sex it means some guys probably think its gonna be easier than it is or a piece of cake.

The second side of the experience is the worry/doubting side of "what will happen. will i find one i like? will i be stuck alone. will i be able to impress te ladies. What do i do after i find one i like? how do i balance multiple girls? Do i be honest or fib? etc"

So you personally now see a mountain now so HOW do you think about the experience at Jamies now? Is it more along the lines of "Worried" or "the Confident side above?".

Are you more confident or doubtful than before?

Do you feel more prepared?

just curious

Any ideas how you will plan next trip?

[dennislevy]

UC

jejejejejeje

News flash, I LIVE in a country where someone can be killed for a hundred dollars. Remember, I live in Colombia!

I would NEVER ask a Colombian woman to dance in public if I wasn t with her or she wasnt part of our group that went out that night. If you mean going into a club and asking a woman to dance without knowing who she is...Uhhhh, uhhhhh. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here s some of the examples that I have in mind when I talk about lack of courtesy and respect from an American point of view.

1. Clearly the woman who breaks without closure without motice.

2. The woman who doesnt show up for a scheduled date and never calls and when you call and ask her what happened, you get the litany of standard excuses, grandmother was sick, brother had a motorcycle accident, yadda, yadda

3. You give one or 2 Colombian women the inside of the sidewalk and they walk right by without saying, gracias Señor. Or you hold the door open fpor them and they dont say thank you.

4. The woman who orders from the top of the menu, doesnt finish her meal and won t even take a dogge bag home. Or the woman who expoects you to buy her a meal for the date but also somethign to take home to her mom!!!!

5. You stand at a counter in a  bakery waiitng to pay your bill, you are next  and a Colombian walks in...and in a bossy voice orders something and the bakery girl ignores you and waits on the Colombian

6. The man you meet who is 40 minutes late for a busness meeting. doesn t apologize  and hasnt prepared or put something in wriitng and you re talking about at least a couple of thousand bucks

7. Or the woman who takes a man she is dating into an expensive mall dress shop  and says...buy me those dresses....and they are 150, 00 dollars each. And they don have an intimate relationship. And when he asks why he should buy them for her, she replies....I I would like the dresses and you have money...what is the problem?

Have I made my point?

[Colgando]

Colgando... good response.

I find the mountain point interesting:

Im sure when you went down you probably assumed it would be [relatively] easy (this is an assumption).

Ill be honest... i think some of us have 2 sides to our idea about our first trip to Jamies... especially if you havent been yet.

The first is "Man im a cool dude, il go down there be cool and have these ladies eating falling for me".

Now the above doesnt necessarily mean for sex it means some guys probably think its gonna be easier than it is or a piece of cake.

The second side of the experience is the worry/doubting side of "what will happen. will i find one i like? will i be stuck alone. will i be able to impress te ladies. What do i do after i find one i like? how do i balance multiple girls? Do i be honest or fib? etc"

So you personally now see a mountain now so HOW do you think about the experience at Jamies now? Is it more along the lines of "Worried" or "the Confident side above?".

Are you more confident or doubtful than before?

Do you feel more prepared?

just curious

Any ideas how you will plan next trip?

Col!  I am still on the confident side, I always stay on the confident side, notwithstanding brief periods of emotional chaos and loss of judgement as it relates to women...jejejeje    I am a man of faith, so I may view things differently than the next man, I believe with all of my heart that when my God is ready to give me my wife, he will and he is faithful to do so. He closed the door on Latina #1 and she is not the one he has for me. Often times, I believe my God puts me through events and life happenings to prepare me for what he has planned for me, my life story testifies to this. From this viewpoint, I feel much more prepared for round 2 at Jamie's and if my God sees fit to give me my wife through that avenue in Colombia, I feel prepared to successfully navigate the currents and receive her based on what I learned from my prior experience at Jamie's where I was not at the top of my game and I still had a lot to learn.

My next trip, I plan to do everything the same except that I will not use a translator and I will not be in any rush to ask a woman to be my novia, those feelings will probably surface again but I will be able to deal with them in a normal fashion now. I will also be on the lookout for the opportunity to meet the family of any woman that I am really digging as a precursor to any kind of novia talk. I will also not eat out at all those expensive restaurants, I will find a more cost effective way to eat, cook at home or go to cheaper restaurants. Even if I am really digging a woman, I will resist the urge to zero in on her until I really get a chance to know her, meet her family, etc., this may even take a 2nd trip down before any novia talk, but that will be a game time decision.

[utopiacowboy]

UC

jejejejejeje

News flash, I LIVE in a country where someone can be killed for a hundred dollars. Remember, I live in Colombia!

I would NEVER ask a Colombian woman to dance in public if I wasn t with her or she wasnt part of our group that went out that night. If you mean going into a club and asking a woman to dance without knowing who she is...Uhhhh, uhhhhh. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here s some of the examples that I have in mind when I talk about lack of courtesy and respect from an American point of view.

1. Clearly the woman who breaks without closure without motice.

2. The woman who doesnt show up for a scheduled date and never calls and when you call and ask her what happened, you get the litany of standard excuses, grandmother was sick, brother had a motorcycle accident, yadda, yadda

3. You give one or 2 Colombian women the inside of the sidewalk and they walk right by without saying, gracias Señor. Or you hold the door open fpor them and they dont say thank you.

4. The woman who orders from the top of the menu, doesnt finish her meal and won t even take a dogge bag home. Or the woman who expoects you to buy her a meal for the date but also somethign to take home to her mom!!!!

5. You stand at a counter in a  bakery waiitng to pay your bill, you are next  and a Colombian walks in...and in a bossy voice orders something and the bakery girl ignores you and waits on the Colombian

6. The man you meet who is 40 minutes late for a busness meeting. doesn t apologize  and hasnt prepared or put something in wriitng and you re talking about at least a couple of thousand bucks

7. Or the woman who takes a man she is dating into an expensive mall dress shop  and says...buy me those dresses....and they are 150, 00 dollars each. And they don have an intimate relationship. And when he asks why he should buy them for her, she replies....I I would like the dresses and you have money...what is the problem?

Have I made my point?

From an American POV, maybe but perfectly understandable from a Colombian POV. FWIW, my wife and her family, all of whom have visited the US numerous times think Americans are ill-manered slobs. From their POV of course.

[Alabamaboy!]

I just had my first trip to Medellin recently and the people there were the most polite I had ever met in my life. From any country. When we went to Guatape they were even more so! That place really has their shyte together. Clean, orderly, polite, seemingly intelligent and logical.

Now, the Costenos? That is a different story. In general from what I experienced. But even there, there are some super polite, nice people. And a guy can find a gem fairly easily if he takes his time.

[dennislevy]

Yes, the examples I gave were fron an American POV, I ve developed my own rules...for how to cope with rude behavior. Most of the time , I ll let stuff go, ocasionally, I won t because it causes me considerable inconvenience.

In general, Colombian and American concepts about themes such as punctuality, verbal communication, treating people fairly, customer relations, acceptance of responsibilty for actions and dating ettiquete are different.

And Ive seen plenty of rude, ill mannered American slobs---in Colombia. And maybe some Colombians have thought I am one.