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My Journey

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z_k_g:
Was reading Fosgates "My Journey" post a few days ago and was really captivated by his narrative.


So many men go on a journey seeking the right woman, its not easy, its not always fun and its never predictable in any fashion.  But if you find the right woman, the right pinay, its well worth the price of the ticket!


His post gave me an itching to provide the newbies and anyone else with a thirst for insight into the real experiences of men who seek a mate outside of their own country.


I won't be as detailed as Fosgate (maybe do a longer post in sections) but for this short post I will provide some insight into some of what happened on my journey, well.... up to this point anyways...the "journey" is seldom ever completely over even when you are married with children right?


There is never really an appropriate place to start, so I will start with the first filipina and end with my present pinay.  Honestly, as I write this, it's not really a pleasant task because it involves a bit of self deprecation, but the truth is never quite so pleasant and at the end of the day my story may help and guide other men who seek a woman in the Philippines.  We learn from our mistakes and hopefully our bad decisions will not be repeated.


My first pinay #1 was 19 when I met her, together 3 years. Student, nice girl, smart, loving and very beautiful.  We got along well and I was extremely happy with her, I loved her, She love me (at least she told me so).  Visited her numerous times in the Philippines and we planned to marry after she graduated school.  When she graduated, she dumped me.  Just that simple.  She was cheating on me with another pinoy her own age.  I only found out about this a few months after we broke up and she defriended me on FB and start posting new pics with her new BF!  This story does not quite end here, so keep reading my friends.


My second #2 pinay was 28, together almost 4 years.  Met her while working in Hong Kong. OFW, Very pretty girl, mature, loving and ready to settle down.  We lived together and she also was able to travel with me because her employer in HK was super loaded and her only job was to care for a dog!  She could take off whenever she liked and she even had her own apartment, paid for by the employer.  She was really really wanting to get married, me not in such a hurry.  She wanted to move to Canada, which I opposed because I worked in HK and live in USA, the deep south.  I never would see her in Canada.  The Canadian government offered huge incentives to move there for filipinas, including a quick pathway to citizenship, high pay and you can bring your family!  We broke up she moved to Canada, end of story. 


Around the same time I was breaking up with #2, my first gf #1 was seeking me out.  She wanted to get back together.  So, I had no problem letting #2 go to Canada, I still wanted to marry #1, so I let #2 go. 


I got back together with #1, went to her parents house for Christmas later that year asked for permission to marry and proposed to her in front of her parents. Four months later, she called me and dumped me again!  Wouldn't tell me why, just that she wanted to break up.  At this point she is almost 26 years old!  Go figure this woman out?  WTF!  Welcome to the Philippines!


I needed some time off so I was single for a bit, just enjoyed the many many pinays in HK.


About 5 months after I was dumped by #1 for the 2nd time, I meet #3, 26 yrs old, my present fiancee.  We weren't serious at first only chatting and I didn't immediately meet her in person because she was living in Davao and I was in HK. 


After about 6 months of chatting, she went ghost!  One day we are chatting, next day no profile on FB, no FB chat.  Nothing, not even answering her cell phone.  WTF!  No clue to why she just ended all communication. 


In hindsight, we were not really that serious, only chatting, but I wanted it to get serious, I really liked her, but apparently she did not share my feelings, it was obviously not mutual and she simply didn't want to explain herself so she just ghosted.


I went back to the most enjoyable single life in HK, its pretty damn nice so I didn't fret over a woman #3, I have never actually met in person. 


About a year and six months later I am on Date In Asia and I get a random message, its #3!!!  She asks if I am single.  I say yep.  She says I want to start over.  I am like WTF, please explain your ghosting sister!  Long story short, she met an old crush from HS, they got together and since I was just a chat buddy, she didn't think it was a big deal to just end it. 


Makes sense to me but I really thought we had more that just a chatting relationship (stupid foreigner).  This is typical when you chat with pinays, your perception and the truth, the reality, are sometimes not the same!!  I'm pretty well grounded so I felt her ghosting me was a bit harsh, but whatever, I get it!


So, She #3 finds out that her crush is MARRIED with children after a year of dating him (a pinoy) and they break up.  She is back on the dating scene again and joined DIA and saw my photo.


So we resume our chatting after 18 months with no communication! Go figure that.  Things are going well so I am like, look we need to meet.  We meet up and things are cool, we have lots in common and we get long really well.  She comes to HK and stays with me and things get even better.


Fast forward to today and we are engaged, we are thinking of a church wedding next year, 18 months after we resume our relationship.  Time will tell....


As I stated at the beginning of my post, this is just a brief summary of My Journey. 


I really didn't provide any meaningful details just wanted to put my experience out there.  My experience was not very romantic or even particularly interesting just one man's experience.  I don't give a lot of details so my post may not be so helpful in gaining deep insights into the possible reasons for my failures and successes.


At any rate, posts are always opportunities for discussion and comments, I don't mind a robust discussion to help those men who are interested in a similar journey as mine and hopefully finding the woman of your dreams in the Philippines!


ZKG

mambocowboy:
Wow. Thanks for sharing.  Sorry to be so blunt but you seem to consistently get used by these women. But remarkably,  you seem to handle that very well, without any self pity. Yet you keep going back for more with the same women.  #1 should have never had another chance. #2 was a user. #3 sounds like a user too....again thanks for sharing but gotta call it like I see it...

z_k_g:

--- Quote from: mambocowboy on November 03, 2018, 10:31:28 AM ---Wow. Thanks for sharing.  Sorry to be so blunt but you seem to consistently get used by these women.
--- End quote ---
I am not sure how you got that impression in anything that I wrote, so let me be clear.


I spent many months weeding out the scammers, users, hookers, prostitutes, prepangos, part time freelancers, etc. 


These women were none of that, they were just regular pinays, good women from poor but decent families, looking for a good man, I can attest to that.  They did nothing wrong to me per se.  I wasn't taken advantage of in any way and I hope the breivity of my post did not give that impression.   Cheating happens with any woman, western or Asain or its not unique to filipinas and I would never say that.


I don't send money, I don't take anyone shopping, and I have never or will never support anyone that I'm not married, and even then they will need to work a job.  I never got a "sick caribou story" from any of my ex gf's, ever.


Bu I will add for clarity....



#1 I gave her money for her books in school and on a few occasions gave he money for tuition.  Wasn't a lot, but I did assist her.  She never asked or needed my money for anything, her 2 older sisters paid her way through school, as her bf I insisted that I help her, she never asked or expected as far as I remember. I was not her sponsor.


#2 Never gave her a dime.  She always split the tab for dinner or anything fun we did.  I invited her to travel with me on business, but she never asked me to go, I wanted her to accompany me so paid for her tickets, so I can't say she was taking advantage of me in any way.


#3 Never asked for money to this day.  I invited her to join me in HK and paid her way, she never asked to come visit me and was content with me coming to Davao to visit her.



--- Quote ---But remarkably,  you seem to handle that very well, without any self pity. Yet you keep going back for more with the same women.  #1 should have never had another chance.
--- End quote ---


#1 She was young and horny and hot and she was surrounded by many horny pinoy that knew she had a foreign bf.  I made a bad decision, and you are 100% right should never have given her another chance.  I was "in love" go figure that



--- Quote ---#2 was a user.
--- End quote ---


not really....just two people headed in different directions in life bro



--- Quote ---#3 sounds like a user too....again thanks for sharing but gotta call it like I see it...

--- End quote ---


Most guys don't get that any woman you meet online will always have more than one option (the same as you!)...that's the reality and that's the lesson here, learned first hand by me.  Also hope most guys will learn that long distance relationships in the Philippines is not gonna work. If you are not there taking care of her a pinoy will step in your shoes quickly.  Its not common for a filipina to have a foreign husband and a pinoy bf!


So either move to philippines, or move her to where you are.  Most pinays, even the young ones, hear so many promises that are broken or have so much pressure to marry or have children, they are not gonna wait on you.  Hypergamy rules and plus her pinoy had a higher SMV than me, I get that, under the same circumstances I would have done exactly that same thing, and so would you bro. 



I am red pill aware, I understand womens nature so hypergamy reigns....I get that, no emotions attached...the same way I don't get angry at gravity!


There is no relationship with a woman that will be "free" and cost nothing, you will pay something, We want the women, they want our resources.  This is not a "bad" thing, if you understand woman's nature and accept it. 


I was NEVER used by any of my ex gf's and my present gf is not using me.


Bottom line, Shet happens......Briffault's law always applies!


Thanks for the feedback! 

mambocowboy:
I give you credit and I guess since you didn't feel used you weren't.  But money aside, what about the time and energy you invested in these women? That's what would bug most men...i I would prefer to be with a woman who shows me she values me...resources aside, if  a woman digs you, she wants to have your babies. I believed that before I started looking overseas and I still do after 6 and a half years of marriage....I applaud your resilience, but the women you're choosing  I definitely wouldn't be giving second chances to...

z_k_g:

--- Quote from: mambocowboy on November 03, 2018, 12:53:39 PM ---But money aside, what about the time and energy you invested in these women? That's what would bug most men...i I would prefer to be with a woman who shows me she values me...resources aside, if  a woman digs you, she wants to have your babies.

--- End quote ---


Of course I agree 100%....but bro how do you know that with any woman until you took the chance on a relationship? 
All relationships are risks, you never know how they will turn out, you just have to do proper vetting and once you make your selection move forward and try your best to make it work.  But there are no guarantees in life and no one can predict the future.


Why do we post here, why do we bother? I do it to help others who have similar life trajectories navigate through this difficult process of finding a wife overseas, in this case the Philippines.


Planet-Love is that place where men can help other men.  We can tell our stories, however painful and embarrassing, in order to help other men avoid "wasting their time" and focus their efforts on finding the right filipina. 


Without this forum and all the brave men who told their stories, gave their advice and provided moral support, I never could have chosen good filipinas to call my gf.  My blind adventure was guided by the men on this forum and I am forever grateful.  I chose wrong, my mistake, I had to go back out there and find another.  That's life bro


But at the end of the day, only 2 people make a marriage.  This forum can help you find the right one, identify the red flags, but its up to you and her to make it work.  Its not easy finding that perfect match and completely different cultures don't make that search any easier.  Some guys get it right on the first try (sounds like you), some on the second (the majority of men), and some it takes double digits (everyone else).  Maybe I got it right this time... with #3, who knows, I'm gonna do all I can to make it successful, give it my best shot and have no regrets.


With so much at stake, marrying anyone nowadays should be taken as seriously as a corporate merger.  The femnazis of the west have destroyed our country's solid foundation and the marriage contract between men and women. 
Its not even a contract anymore, its just a sharp knife at your throat given to your wife and she can cut you at a whim, whenever she feels likes it, if she is "unhappy" she can divorce rape you at a whim take the children, get alimony, child support, restraining order, your house and half your cash and retirement.


I came to the Philippines to find a woman who is not so self centered and predatory and close minded as the American femnazis.  So far, my relationships have failed because of my bad decisions or my poor choices.  This is honest, straight no chaser.  Of course the filipina was the other 50% of the failure, but it had nothing to do with her nationality, it just wasn't a good match plain and simple, pretty much equal fault on both sides.  Of course here I'm not telling her side of the story, all I can do is tell mine.


My post is about My Journey. My goal is for men to learn from my experience and not waste their time!  There are some really great filipinas out there, hopefully our efforts, our posts will make it easier for men to find them.


ZKG

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