What If You Found Out Your Girl Was A Webcam Girl?

[Alabamaboy!]

I was talking to a guy who travels frequently to Colombia and has been dating Colombianas and he just broke up with a seemingly nice gal who he found out was working as a webcam girl. She was honest with him and told him the truth that she really needed the cash and that although she thought it was a little dirty at first, she did it because it was in her own room, nobody else touching her, and there was someway they blocked out Colombia based computers from seeing her, so that she felt "safe" that none of her family or friends would ever find out.

What would you do if you had a seemingly great woman who was doing this, but not working as a prepago or anything more dirty? Would you give her a chance? Or would it be a 100% deal breaker?

To me it would be 100% deal breaker because someone who is doing that is showing that they are cold blooded and would do just about anything for cash. And it would only be a matter of time before she became a little more "ambitious" and turned into a full blown prepago or just an oportunist who realizes she can scam cash out of guys because of her looks.

First of all, would you even believe her that she was not a prepago?

[Alabamaboy!]

Oh, by the way, she told the guy that she and her friends moved to Bogota to do this, telling their family they were going there to "work" and to "study". So the family never has found out the truth of what they do there.  Apparently they somehow got hooked up with a "friend" there who got them the apartment, and helped set them up with the business.

She said that it is a pretty common thing. And not so dirty as being a prepago.

So something to keep in mind if your girl suddenly says she is going to Bogota to work or study.

[benjio]

Whether she is a prepago or not, she's headed in that direction. The evolution of sex workers there is the same as it is here. When I was younger, my friends and I would frequent strip clubs. When we saw a really good looking cocktail waitress, we always knew it was only a matter of time before she'd be up on stage. We were never proven wrong.
 
I'm not sure how much money that girl is making now, but if she's not selling her body, she will eventually. It is entirely too profitable to be a prepago in Bogota once a girl crosses the line and gets into the sex industry. My ex-girlfriend had dozens of prepago friends and from what she's told me it never started intentionally. The always just slip into.
 
Beautiful women, especially those with jobs, are constantlly being propositioned by Colombian guys. Most older Colombianos with money will outright offer the girl cash or material to have sex with them just once. The only difference between being webcam girl and a prepago is time.

[Researcher]

  Good post Benjio and I agree with you.There is a line between a woman selling herself and not selling herself and this woman just crossed it.Kind of like a guy who goes to a foreign country to find a wife and a sex tourist....there's a difference.It's best to steer clear of those involved in the sex trade if you are looking for a wife. You really don't want to get that kind of reputation.

     Researcher

[fathertime]

well benjio you really nailed that one!


not to say these girls are horrible people, but from my experience, ladies involved selling themselves so overtly often have a set of personality traits that I don't find appealing for marriage, if you know what I mean!


i'd prefer a more modest beautiful babe and there are plenty of those out there too!


Fathertime!

[Gato4Astrid]

Well, my ex-girlfriend was a webcam girl.   How did I find out?  One of the girls who worked with her told me through Facebook.   Our relationships was already over when she told me anyway.


If I had known she worked there, I would have terminated the relationship immediately because she was not being honest with me.  She kept secret.


But, it is not always the case "once a webcam girl" then she becomes prepago later in life.    I have a Russian friend.  She used to work as a webcam girl because she needed money for her study.  Now she does not work as a webcam girl, but she was never a prepago.  She is now working a normal job.     Not every girl who used to be a webcam girl will become prepagos later in life.

[mudd]

But, it is not always the case "once a webcam girl" then she becomes prepago later in life.    I have a Russian friend.  She used to work as a webcam girl because she needed money for her study.  Now she does not work as a webcam girl, but she was never a prepago.  She is now working a normal job.     Not every girl who used to be a webcam girl will become prepagos later in life

true, i know 2 girls in medellin who were " web cam girls"  one now has a normal job, never went further than the internet sex thing and is doing well.  the other, well........ lets just say, she is now working gringos in medellin for $$$$ and has about 7 steady gringo clients.


two points id like to make,


1 friend told me that AIDS is on the rise in Medellin due to foreigners paying  more $$ to have sex without a condom. just what i heard through a local
2 internet sex web cams, these girls think the connection is blocked in colombia, so their family and friends will never see it, but its easy to get around it and sooner or later, somebody you know is going to see you  on the internet.

[robert angel]

I never heard of anybody catching a disease from interacting on-line with a webcam girl--it really is 'safe sex'.

But I never heard of a web cam girl becoming a nun either--as described, they usually 'venture' further into the sex trade.

I've met guys who married bar girls and then and there, they seemed happy, but I wouldn't advise pursuing a web cam or bar girl, never mind a prepago, as a wife. Once they've crossed that line and it's embedded in their mind that their body and sexual services can be viewed as an economic commodity, they are really changed individuals--they're in a way 'incorporated'.

Plus, I think that a person who ended up doing that probably  had some 'issues' to start with that could be problematic. I've met some stunningly beautiful women who were also desperately poor and they never sold themselves.

[benjio]

I never heard of anybody catching a disease from interacting on-line with a webcam girl--it really is 'safe sex'.

But I never heard of a web cam girl becoming a nun either--as described, they usually 'venture' further into the sex trade.

I've met guys who married bar girls and then and there, they seemed happy, but I wouldn't advise pursuing a web cam or bar girl, never mind a prepago, as a wife. Once they've crossed that line and it's embedded in their mind that their body and sexual services can be viewed as an economic commodity, they are really changed individuals--they're in a way 'incorporated'.

Plus, I think that a person who ended up doing that probably  had some 'issues' to start with that could be problematic. I've met some stunningly beautiful women who were also desperately poor and they never sold themselves.

Great post Robert. I don't care what type of spin you put on it. Once a woman crosses that line she'll never be the same, and most of the times they weren't all there to begin with.

[raycjs]

i agree with you guy's on this one.... there is no way i could date one of these girls once she makes her mind up to cross the line then there in no telling what she is capable of doing.....
 
 
Ray

[Traveler]

Well, even though I would not equate being a "web cam girl" with being a prepago.  However, I do agree with those saying that once a girl crosses that line, she is changed.  If I met a girl and found out she was in the "industry" I would not pursue her.  If I was dating her, and found out she was a web cam girl I would terminate a relationship.  I think a man must have his standards, just as a woman must have them as well.

[bcc_1_2]

This industry is huge so I'm not surprised. One of the reasons I mention the importance of family background, education (English), and career is that if you don't have those standards (and you are just focusing on beauty) you will end up dating women like this.

Now there was one example of a girl working as a server in a strip club. I think there is a big difference from something offline (like hooking, stripping, etc) and online. I don't automatically think she will end up getting deeper in the adult industry (of course it is possible), but more importantly the fact is she doesn't have the education/background to interest me, transition well to the USA, or hold down a quality job.

[Alabamaboy!]

This industry is huge so I'm not surprised. One of the reasons I mention the importance of family background, education (English), and career is that if you don't have those standards (and you are just focusing on beauty) you will end up dating women like this.

Now there was one example of a girl working as a server in a strip club. I think there is a big difference from something offline (like hooking, stripping, etc) and online. I don't automatically think she will end up getting deeper in the adult industry (of course it is possible), but more importantly the fact is she doesn't have the education/background to interest me, transition well to the USA, or hold down a quality job.

BCC, I am pretty sure the girls who are educated and speak good English are some of the best webcam girls because they can interact with the "customers". And the girls who are wealthy enough to have their own apartment, "props", etc. are also better able to prosper in this line of work. I must confess when I heard about that this kind of work is at epidemic proportions in Colombia, I checked out some of the sites to see if my girl or previous girls were on them. And I can tell you that it seems about 50/50 as to the rich/poor girls who are working like this.

In general, the "ambitious" girls seem to be the most dangerous to me. And those are often the better educated and better "prepared" for life in the US. I met a lot of girls online that were smart, beautiful, career oriented, etc. but that would talk non-stop about the opportunities to work as a TV reporter, business lady, whatever egoista thing. But not so much about family and having a good husband. So those girls were axed quickly much to their surprise. They were shocked that I would not be falling all over them because of the fact that they were so well prepared for life in the US. But most of those girls were even more egoista and ambitious than the typical gringa (who are a complete turn off to me for the most part).

[bcc_1_2]

BCC, I am pretty sure the girls who are educated and speak good English are some of the best webcam girls because they can interact with the "customers". And the girls who are wealthy enough to have their own apartment, "props", etc. are also better able to prosper in this line of work. I must confess when I heard about that this kind of work is at epidemic proportions in Colombia, I checked out some of the sites to see if my girl or previous girls were on them. And I can tell you that it seems about 50/50 as to the rich/poor girls who are working like this.

Good stuff... go snag a bar girl from Pattaya or Bangkok and listen to her talk for 5 minutes. Try taking her around educated professional couples in her home country... and oh my goodness will she stick out like a sore thumb. Mangled language, immature behavior, wanting to dress slutty, etc.

The vast majority of women from Asia and Latin America in the adult webcam racket work for online or virtual pimps known as studios. Studios give the women a small portion of their earnings and provide computer equipment, a place to stay, etc. The vast majority of these women do not work for themselves, are not educated, and are not making good money.

[Alabamaboy!]

Good stuff... go snag a bar girl from Pattaya or Bangkok and listen to her talk for 5 minutes. Try taking her around educated professional couples in her home country... and oh my goodness will she stick out like a sore thumb. Mangled language, immature behavior, wanting to dress slutty, etc.

The vast majority of women from Asia and Latin America in the adult webcam racket work for online or virtual pimps known as studios. Studios give the women a small portion of their earnings and provide computer equipment, a place to stay, etc. The vast majority of these women do not work for themselves, are not educated, and are not making good money.

My point is that the girls who are making the most money on those sites are the ones who speak English, have their own place, and who have a lot of "props". And there are a lot of them like that. I was trying to prove a point to one other guy about something regarding this industry and did a little sample on one of the bigger sites called www.myfreecams.com. And if you  filter for "Central/Latin America" virtually every girl is from Colombia. And it automatically lists the girls in order of most popular to least. And when you start looking at the first rows of girls, almost every single one of them speaks English and is in their own apartment, house, with personal effects all around. And they are making cash. The least popular girls are non English speaking, obviously in a "studio" and are not making cash.

[Calipro]

I was talking to a guy who travels frequently to Colombia and has been dating Colombianas and he just broke up with a seemingly nice gal who he found out was working as a webcam girl. She was honest with him and told him the truth that she really needed the cash and that although she thought it was a little dirty at first, she did it because it was in her own room, nobody else touching her, and there was someway they blocked out Colombia based computers from seeing her, so that she felt "safe" that none of her family or friends would ever find out.

What would you do if you had a seemingly great woman who was doing this, but not working as a prepago or anything more dirty? Would you give her a chance? Or would it be a 100% deal breaker?

To me it would be 100% deal breaker because someone who is doing that is showing that they are cold blooded and would do just about anything for cash. And it would only be a matter of time before she became a little more "ambitious" and turned into a full blown prepago or just an oportunist who realizes she can scam cash out of guys because of her looks.

First of all, would you even believe her that she was not a prepago?

First I'd like to say this is a good post because this type of stuff goes on a lot.... especially in Medellin and guys that date poorer women or women from agencies are going to have more contact with these types of women than most.



And sure I'd believe she wasn't a prepago...... because any  real prepago would never spend 8-10 hours playing with herself in front of a cam and worst yet chatting with clueless morons for 8-10 hours when they could make the same amount of money in an hour selling their ass.


"100% deal breaker?" Now that is a tuff question to answer....forget about how this type of work might change a girl for the moment.....the first thing you have to come to terms with is how it changes YOU knowning that she showed some annonymous person her privates over then internet....if your sense of morality just won't let you get past it...... then you are done....... No sense really in trying to justify it to yourself by saying that she would eventually become a prepago or that she isn't wife material because she is obviously a promiscuous woman. jajaja


If you some how pass the morality hurdle then you are going to have to do a little investigating....because nobody really wants to date let alone marry a money sucking whore that is for sure.


Seems from your post that the girls was nice and didnt show any outward signs of being overly interested in getting money from your friend...so she obviously liked and respected the guy.


Then you are going to have to find out why she is doing this....just how bad does she need the money....I have seen some damn nice chicks get involved in this type of work just because they literally did not have money for food and many more get conned into doing it to help their family out.....I know more than one sweet girl that completely support their mother and younger siblings by working as a cam girl.....doesn't take many days of no meat just rice, beans with an egg on top and a little brother that can go to school because there is no money for tuition before making up to 100 bucks a day playing with yourself looks pretty good. 


You know from a Colombian cultural perspective....you really don't have a right to dictate or really even voice a strong opinion about what someone does for a living if you aren't helping to support them.....Her coming clean with the guy might have been her way of telling the guy to [snip] or get off the pot and step up to the plate. jajaja


I don't think you guys that have spent a lot of time down here can really grasp what it is like for young woman to grow up in Colombia if they can't even afford to go to college.


Ever read the employment adds in the local colombian newpaper?


This is one of my favorites "Executive secretary wanted....super presentation 18 - 25 and free to travel." Translation "Super hot mamacita wanted between 18 and 25 that can stay over night".


Didn't I ever tell you guys about the time I was visiting my wife's family and we got sick of having no privacy so we set out to go to one of those love motels for a few hours in the middle of the day.


Well we went to three and they all had NO VACANCy....after the third motel I asked the attendent what the hell is going on....it's the middle of the day and this is the third motel that has no rooms available.....she looked at me and said "Don't you know....it's secretary's day". jajaja


Anybody out there dating a secretary? LOL!!!!

[whitey]

Man, I feel so naive sometimes ... great stories Calipro ...

[robert angel]

Calipro,
 
Thanks for the being generous and taking the time to share. You have a lot of great experience and and express yourself very well. I sense as much as you've enlightened us, you've just begun to scratch the surface and you could write more true chapters that'd burn some eyeballs....

[Traveler]

BCC,
 
The most desirable and highest paid escorts are the ones that can act as a "professional woman", speak English, don't have tatoos everywhere.  I don't have empirical proof, but what Bama says makes sense.
 
Like I said before, you don't want a Latina, but a professional Western woman in a young Latina body.  There is nothing wrong with wanting a woman with a high paid professional job and advanced English skills.  Guys should have standards.  However, a woman possessing those attributes doesn't automaticly become a desirable wife material for many men.  Just as those attributes appear self-evident to you, there are other attributes that perhaps you find unnecessary or unimportant that are critical to other guys.
 
Many guys don't need a woman to supplement their income.  In many regions of US knowing English is not a critically important skill, many guys speak Spanish, and besides if a woman puts her mind to it, she can learn the language fairly quickly.  Learning a foreign language is not really a big deal if someone puts an effort into it and has practice.  Learning English for most Colombian women is logistically difficult and completely useless.  It's like learning to dance on a decent level, keeping in shape, driving manual transmission, knowing how to swim, etc - just takes some practice, honest effort and patience, but makes living fuller and more enjoyable.
 
I personally don't find anything wrong with the qualities you are looking for in a woman, but they are hardly critically important in my opinion.  As for the career issue, a woman should have skills and work as long as it's not her life's priority and doesn't interfere with her role as a wife and a mother.  After all, if a girl is intelligent, she will be bored without some way to use it and to be challenged intellectually.
 
Far more important attributes, at lest IMHO, than the girl's income potential and English proficiency is how she makes me feel, how attractive she is, how good of a mother she is, how affectionate she is, how loyal she is.  Do you honestly think that English skills and having a professional job is more important than the attributes listed above?

[beginthebeguin]

Traveler said

Far more important attributes, at lest IMHO, than the girl's income potential and English proficiency is how she makes me feel, how attractive she is, how good of a mother she is, how affectionate she is, how loyal she is.  Do you honestly think that English skills and having a professional job is more important than the attributes listed above?

I would have to agree we are all looking for that intangible that indescribable quality in a woman that transends sexuality, intelligence and culture. You can't go down a 'checklist' to find it. It's something you feel in the pit of your stomach when you find such a woman. And that feeling doesn't come around very often.

[Jeff S]

Similar story to Calipro's in Mexico - though most executive secretaries aren't required to provide benefits, it's common enough. By the way, in Mexico, those no-tell motels that rent rooms by the hour during the day are good places to stay overnight when you're on a road trip. They're clean, very secure (usually walled in courtyards to park,) inexpensive, and usually almost empty weekday nights.

[beginthebeguin]

Yeah, but bring your own sheets. jajaja

[robert angel]

Similar story to Calipro's in Mexico - though most executive secretaries aren't required to provide benefits, it's common enough. By the way, in Mexico, those no-tell motels that rent rooms by the hour during the day are good places to stay overnight when you're on a road trip. They're clean, very secure (usually walled in courtyards to park,) inexpensive, and usually almost empty weekday nights.

Yea--but what do they offer in the way of  'room service'?

Perhaps I was naive, maybe naive AND stupid, but one time when we were staying at a rather nice, high end hotel in the Philippines, my wife and I went to the hotel spa for massages.
 
We were separated by about 12 feet--by two cubicles, divided by sheets. I honestly had no idea and was surprised when the female masseuse started to 'go the extra mile' (actually several miles) and began using sign language and whispering queries if I wanted 'extra' and how much it would cost me. No wonder my wife wanted to come to the spa with me!--no 'foolin around'!

[Jeff S]

No room service at the no-tell motels. Definitely BYOB.


Yes, Rob, I think you are a bit naive about what goes on in the most of the world outside the US.

[robert angel]

No room service at the no-tell motels. Definitely BYOB.


Yes, Rob, I think you are a bit naive about what goes on in the most of the world outside the US.

 
Jeff--I resemble that remark! And not just outside of the USA--right here at home. I used to occasionally stay at the Plaza and The Waldorf Astoria in NYC, as well as The Ritz Carlton in NYC and Chicago and I thought all the unattached, well dressed women in the lounge areas were ALL working for Fortune 500 companies! After all, those were NICE establishments! Never paid for sex and always brought my own, familiar gal with me, hotel or motel.

Honestly, when it comes to realizing a girl--woman is 'coming on to me', I have always been clueless. While I am an incurable flirt, sending all the outgoing signals quite well, I've never been good at reading the 'incoming' signals, to the point where if the girl wasn't straight out blunt or more typically, someone who knew her told me 'don't you REALIZE she really likes you', I was as clueless as Forest Gump.

 It wasn't really a handicap until I found myself divorced and forty years old. Before then, as soon as I broke up with a girl, another seemed to happen instantaneously-- like spontaneous combustion. At age forty, I actually had to exert some effort and although there were birds out in the field, I had to point and pursue, which made the transition to shopping overseas all the better--it was more like 'the old days of yore'.