I guess I will share my latest trip with everyone.

[Cbear]

Ok, as some of you know I was dating a very nice lady who made a few mistakes and because of that I broke it off with her in Dec.

Well I had a friend who I had met online before and we had continued as just friends even though she knew I chose someone else.

After I broke up with my ex I started wondering what it might be like with this lady who is just a friend. I knew she was beautiful and a few years older than my previous was so we began talking much more. I decided to meet her and I told her I would be there in late May to visit her. Because od my work schedule I decided to move the date to April. Good thing I did, I'll explain later.

Well I did not know that she only considered my visit to be a friendly visit as part of a larger vacation. Hmmm, I found this out right before I left as I needed her to pick me up at the airport in Davao. She lives in gensan but deemed it too unsafe there for me so I felt it better to meet her in Davao. So I sent her money for fair. I did not have hotel reservations as this was a very short notice trip and I just didnt have time to do it. More on this later as well.

She told me that her parents would not allow her to be alone with a man so she took 2 chaporones with her, an aunt from each side of the family. So when I arrived at the airport she was there and stunningly beautiful. When we met she shook my hand. hmmmmm. Not what I had hoped for. But at least she did not run away screaming.

Now I have to find a hotel, so I direct the driver to a number of hotels that I knew about and each one was booked up as we stopped to check. Not looking good as I already know I cant stay at the aunts house, she runs a pre-school and no room for a kano there.

The rooms are booked because the election was in just a few weeks, but I finally found a room at the micro tel inn. The most expensive room was all they had left with double king size beds. Just what I needed, LOL So I took it.

We went to Mcdos and then the mall, when we returned to drop me off my girl asked if it would be OK with me if her and her aunts stayed in one bed and I stay in the other. Well of course, LOL. her aunt lives an hour away and they didnt want to have to travel at night so this worked out

Ok, up until now we are just friends, but I am obviously into her. I really like her but her expressions are telling me that maybe i will not get past the friend stage. So she sits on the bed and I sit beside her and we talk, and talk, and talk.

This is when I find out she has a guy, an american who has already visited her and has offered her a legitimate job in the untied states. (the job is real, I researched it) He also really likes her or he would not have hired her. But things change.  

He is 28 and very good lookin dude with a bunch of money, so here I am, an older guy with a good job but nowhere near what this guy makes. What chance do I have. Read on.........

My girl is Christian, and she is looking for a good Christian husband. Now this guy is a Christian also, but his job is in the gambling industry, and she does not believe in gambling. He also is surrounded by beautiful woman all the time and she didn't like that either.

But still, can't get over the friend thing. So I just layed it on the line, I told her I wasn't there as her friend and that I had known her for over a year and I wanted her to be my GF.

She cried.

Then she said yes, but only if her father would approve. This is a big problem later.  

So we stayed in the hotel the first night and the next morning when we woke up she was completely different. She had made a commitment and it was obvious. Although we still hadn't even held hands yet. I went in and took my shower and I was about to shave when she asked if she could shave my face. Of course, just don't cut me into pieces. LOL

[Cbear]

So she gets out the razor and does shave my face, I really enjoyed it, but there is one place on my neck that always gets cut, of course I didn't tell her that. hehehee, so she cut my neck and it bled bad. Really bad...... She was so sorry, I just couldn't keep a straight face so I told her it always does that but she felt bad anyway.

Ok, we get on the pc and she decides that she has made a decision and she erases the other guy from her friendster account.

Well he sees this and wonders why she has had no contact. He sends her an emails with all the visa info she needs and forms. But now she has decided not to go to America. She told me she believes that God sent me to prevent her from going. She was very happy not to be going. She told me had I not changed my plans and come when I did that she would have decided to go already.

So he is history now,

Day 2 with her. her aunt knows of an apartment near her house and said it would be easier if i rented it and stayed there. It is a brand new furnished apt in a nice 6 unit bldg.

I paid 9000php for the time I was there and this included fresh water delivery service and electricity. I ran the AC non stop.

She then asked if i wanted her to stay in the front bedroom so she could take care of me, with one or both of her aunts staying also. I said yes, then she asked if her sister could stay also, I said yes. I wanted her to be comfortable and i wanted to get to know her family.

Oh, her cousin stayed with us sometimes also.

So it was 3 to 5 ladies in the front bedroom and me in the back. I woke up each morning to fresh breakfast and hot coffee. They cleaned all my clothes and she even laid out for me what she wanted me to wear, and yes, she shaved me and finally got used to cutting me in the one spot. LOL

By now we do hold hands and sometimes sneak a kiss, but her chaporones did not leave us alone for 2 minutes the entire time I was there. It's ok because it proves she is the good girl I was hoping she was.

The next few days were uneventful and we just used the time to get to know each other. By the 3rd or 4th day we were talking about marriage and kids and the future. By now I know she has fallen for me as I have fallen for her. But she has concerns about marriage, first I had to agree to wait for you know what as she is still a pure girl. This is very important to her. And her family as her father is a Pentecostal preacher. She also wants to have a home to go to on her wedding night. She also wants to have her own job (she has a degree in commerce) and she wants to make sure we are 100% financially stable before we marry. She grew up in a poor area and she sees her friends who have children and are married and how they struggle so much. I understand and I have agreed to the house and to letting her work.

[Cbear]

pic of her and I

[Cbear]

So we decide that it is time to ask her father to let us court. So we get the entire family together and we go to a beach, (not gonna say where but the state dept says I shouldn't go there)

We have huge southern Philippines feast with many tuna dishes and fresh fish, of course spaghetti and tons of rice. Manok (chicken) and coke zero.

[Cbear]

So after dinner and hiding from some muslim fishermen her father cuts to the chase and starts to grill me about my job, my past marriage, my ex GF and then he asks me to tell him why I brought him all the way out there.

Wow, so I told him I would like his permission to court his daughter. He then grilled me again. he called his daughter over and told me he would talk to her in their language so he could see what she wanted.

Well they talk for a few minutes and the conversation gets heated. I can tell this is not going well for me. Her mother and younger (19) sister were listing as were her aunts. They all start talking and it is very heated.

So her father then tells me that I cannot court his daughter until I marry her. It would give her a bad reputation if she is with a foreigner and is not married to him. She is upset because she is not ready to marry yet (me either at that moment) and he is basically saying that I cannot come and see her until the wedding day which we had said would be late next year.

Now she is about in tears because she thinks I am about to break up with her now. So I talk to her father and explain that we arent ready and that i am willing to follow whatever protocol he asks of me, but please at least let us see each other from time to time before our marriage.

He finally decides that if I come and visit her, he will allow her to court me only if I stay in their home. This way he can watch over us and no one will say anything about her because he is the chaporone.

So I agreed, what else could I do, I have already fallen for her. He did allow her to stay the last couple days with me but on those days she had both her aunts, 2 of her sisters and her cousin with us. Wheww !!! and he came to visit us the last day I was there. He really is a very nice guy, he just wants to protect his daughters honor. I understand this and respect it.

So now our wedding date is set for Sept 24th of next year. I will be visiting her again in July if all goes as planned (obama stopping the drilling has really screwed up my work schedule though) and I will be sleeping om the floor, LOL. She is worth it though.

[Ethan14]

Wow CBear that definitely was an eventful and interesting trip. But congrats! Your girl is gorgeous and sounds great.

So she just deleted that other guy? She didn't even give him an explanation? 

[Bob_S]

Holy smokes!  That is one strict daddy.



I like 'im.   


Though I think there is a misunderstanding in the translation of "courtship".  I get the feeling he doesn't understand what it means.  But oh well.  It's all working out.


Except for her poor ex-BF.  Right now there's some guy in Vegas or where ever stomping around cursing pinays telling everyone who'll listen what fickle creatures they are. 

[Cbear]

Bob, I do believe she told him, he called her and she told me she talked to him. After that he didnt call again.

[thekfc]

Though I think there is a misunderstanding in the translation of "courtship".  I get the feeling he doesn't understand what it means.  But oh well.  It's all working out.

I have the same feeling too that he misunderstood what you said when you talk about "courtship"..

[Cbear]

I am sure he didn't mis-understand me. He explained that even with her aunts as chaporones it still made her look bad and could give her a bad reputation. Unlike many other older people in the Philippines, he speaks fluent english as his church is supported by Americans and he gives them regular reports.

I think he is just way over protective, and I do see his point, but I think he will relent after some time.

Ethan, thank you, I too think she is gorgeous.

She is all of 4'11" tall and about 85lbs. She is wearing 4" heals in the picture. Yes, I'm a short guy also, LOL. We can't all be tall.

[z_k_g]

Cbear,

Stick with it!  I am in a similar situation.  My sweeties parents are super strict and have told her that she will finish school before marriage!  2 year wait plus her certification exams.

She is the youngest and all of her sisters and brothers have college degrees, engineering and technical degrees!!

Your girl is defiantly a babe!  Good luck over the next year and just keep doing what you are doing!

I don't want to digress but if she was an Americanized pinay you would be SOL and the young guy in Vegas with the Benz would be taking her out this weekend as his arm candy dude!  But, alas, this is not the states, and the woman is more attracted to content of your character not your wallet!   That's why we are here!!

In another much followed post, a P-L member is struggling with his decisions because his sweetie did not have the strict dad to watch over his daughter.  I applaud your sweeties father.  He is only trusting his instincts and wisdom, not yours.  This may be harsh from your perspective, but he is protecting her as he should.

Self discipline is the most sought after virtue, we all lack it to some degree.  Her father is making sure that you exercise yours, the old fashioned way!!

I think the prize at the end of your journey will be well worth the wait.

I think everyone will agree!!

Zulu

[Cbear]

Zulu, sounds like you have a good girl too. What is she taking in school?

My ex GF was a sweetie (and still is) but she made some mistakes that would have tainted our relationship forever, so I had to let her go. She is a 4th year nursing student.

My new girl has a degree in commerce (sorta like a mix of business and accounting and marketing) as does her older brother. Her younger sister is just starting college this semester. Her father sacrifices a great deal to send them to school.

She is also not your typical pinay in that she exudes confidence. Most of the filipinas I have met are down on themselves and she is not like that at all.

I understand her father and I agree with him to some extent. The no courting was gonna kill us but he relented as long as I stay at their place. It wasn't an issue with the other guy I guess because when he visited her he only stayed 1 day and they all met together. He was in manila on business and flew down to spend a day with her and then back to the US. I am not even sure she told her father about the job offer there. My guess is she didn't because it would not have gone over well her working in a casino. Even if it did pay well. Pentecostal preachers are not big fans of gambling. And his daughter on her own in America would probably not fly either. These factors I am sure played in her decision to choose me.

[evoltnvii]

Sounds like you found a good one congrats.

I had issues with the father of my girl before i got there he didnt want us to be together in any way without being married first. Well her and her mom put their feet down and he relented. She threatened him that she would lose me and have to go back to her ex ( it was an empty threat ) but she knew her dad hated her ex so much he agreed immed lol.

[Cbear]

So many foreigners go over and use these girls and that is the reputation we have until we prove otherwise.

On my flight out of manila I sat beside 2 Americans on the flight and they have been going to the Philippines for several years for months at a time with different girls. They bragged about it. They use one till they get tired of her then go to the next. I just don't see how someone can hurt someone so callously and just not care at all. Especially given these girls life circumstances.

If that is what they want then why not just go to angles city where the girls know the score. But I think these guys get a thrill out of bedding the good girls. The problem is it seems it is so easy for them to do it. They explained how they meet them and in just a few days the girls stop taking chaperones and then bam, they are getting screwed and their chance at a good man are gone. These guys are creeps.

Sorry, rant over.

Yes, I think I have a great girl and it sounds like you do too evol.

[z_k_g]

So many foreigners go over and use these girls and that is the reputation we have until we prove otherwise.

Amen Brother!

I think that we forget that our behavior in PI must be much better than the average tourist who is just seeking fun with the bar girls in Angeles City. 

We pine over our horrible AmW and how they are the problem.  The honorable pinays watch our ACTIONS and judge us accordingly.  If we want to be respected we must show respect.

The purpose of this forum is to learn from others.  Lets continue to do that so our mistakes won't hurt us and screw up some young pinays' life.

Zulu

[z_k_g]

Zulu, sounds like you have a good girl too. What is she taking in school?

She is architect/engineering, a smart cookie!! 

[Dave H]

So after dinner and hiding from some muslim fishermen her father cuts to the chase and starts to grill me about my job, my past marriage, my ex GF and then he asks me to tell him why I brought him all the way out there.

Hey Cbear,

Congratulations!

It can be difficult at times. Contrary to misinformed beliefs, not all Filipinas jump or are pushed into the arms of the first foreigner that comes along. Had my father-in-law been alive when I met my wife, I am sure things would have been 10 times more difficult...but it would have been worth it and I would have welcomed the challenge!


I wouldn't worry too much about the Muslim fishermen...they work very hard and are just interested in catching fish and trying to make a modest living. 

Dave

[Cbear]

Hey Cbear,

Congratulations!

It can be difficult at times. Contrary to misinformed beliefs, not all Filipinas jump or are pushed into the arms of the first foreigner that comes along. Had my father-in-law been alive when I met my wife, I am sure things would have been 10 times more difficult...but it would have been worth it and I would have welcomed the challenge!


I wouldn't worry too much about the Muslim fishermen...they work very hard and are just interested in catching fish and trying to make a modest living.  

Dave

You definitely have a good one Dave and thank you for the congrats. I have to admit I was a little worried when things became heated. When he told me I couldn't court her I didn't know how to react, I guess I did ok because he relented to some extent. He told his daughter that he likes me but her honor is most important.

As for the muslim fisherman, I was half a mile away from a known abu syiaf stronghold. So I was scared a lot about that. Her father however grew up with the rebel commander and even though they are enemies, they are friends. (not sure how to explain that) I was safe as long as I was with him. You should have seen the look on the first muslim guys face that saw me, he must have thought I was crazy for being there. I don't recommend going there by yourself. But even he was scared to be there after dark because of the muslim road blocks and if we got stopped by people he didnt know we would be in trouble.

I think the fishermen knew I was there but I wasn't going to advertise myself so I stayed away from the beach when they were there. They did however give the kids a whole bunch of these little small silver fish. We call then greenies in Florida. The kids took them home and dried them to eat.

These are the fishermen and the girls are my sweeties family

[Dave H]

Hey Cbear,

The fishermen look harmless enough, but you were smart to play it safe! If one casually mentioned your presence to the wrong person... If you see a Kano walking down the beach wearing a purple thong...RUN and HIDE FAST!!!   Even the Abu's would probably run away. I was probably at the beach on the same day, but on the other side of the island.

Dave

[Dave H]

Her father however grew up with the rebel commander and even though they are enemies, they are friends. (not sure how to explain that) I was safe as long as I was with him.

Lets just say that they respect each other, but not each other's beliefs or ideology.

The abu's are terrorists, not rebels. They don't really care about revolution or an independent Islamic province or country. It's all about the money baby! They are involved in bombings, kidnappings, assassinations and extortion...they don't even care if you are a Muslim or not.

[Cbear]

Dave, haven't you worn the purple thong out by now?

A couple more pics of my sweetie

The second one is my sweetie on the far right with her chaporones.

Third is her youngest sister and her playing in a cave near the beach.

[Cbear]

Lets just say that they respect each other, but not each other's beliefs or ideology. We have had a similar situation (without the friendship), which seems about to end.  

The abu's are terrorists, not rebels. They don't really care about revolution or an independent Islamic province or country. It's all about the money baby! They are involved in bombings, kidnappings, assassinations and extortion...they don't even care if you are a Muslim or not.

Dave, I agree, they are terrorists but I was using his words not mine. Her uncle is a Philippine Army soldier and we saw him standing post getting ready for elections. At least their govt. sees fit to arm their soldiers unlike ours who put 1200 on our border without their weapons. Oh sorry, that's politics.

[Dave H]

Dave, haven't you worn the purple thong out by now?

Actually no, I have many. The original is seldom put on "display" anymore. My personal seamstress makes my thongs and G-strings (even some for the ladies) to my rigid specifications (not just in purple).  

Dave

[Dave H]

At least their govt. sees fit to arm their soldiers unlike ours who put 1200 on our border without their weapons. 

True...they actually arm them with our old weapons that we donate.  I am surprised that the present administration hasn't given away all of our good stuff!

Unfortunately, most law abiding citizens in the Philippines have a difficult time owning a gun, even if they could afford one.

INVASION USA (http://stevescomments.wordpress.com/2010/05/27/mexico-says-u-s-troops-ok-but-no-stopping-illegals/)

Mexico: ‘U.S. troops OK, but no stopping illegals!’

"Foreign gov’t warns 1,200 soldiers must not enforce immigration laws

The Mexican government has announced it respects the Obama administration’s decision to send 1,200 National Guard troops to the U.S. southern border to counter cross-border drug and weapons trafficking – just as long as the troops don’t enforce U.S. immigration laws.

The Embassy of Mexico in Washington, D.C., released the following statement on May 25:

Regarding the administration’s decision to send 1,200 National Guard servicemen to the U.S. Southern border, the government of Mexico trusts that this decision will help to channel additional U.S. resources to enhance efforts to prevent the illegal flows of weapons and bulk cash into Mexico, which provide organized crime with its firepower and its ability to corrupt.Additionally, the government of Mexico expects that National Guard personnel will strengthen U.S. operations in the fight against transnational organized crime that operates on both sides of our common border and that it will not, in accordance to its legal obligations, conduct activities directly linked to the enforcement of immigration laws [emphasis added].

Upon learning of the statement, former Rep. Tom Tancredo told WND, “The Mexican government can be assured that there will be no attempt to enforce immigration law by the National Guard because there is no attempt to enforce immigration law by the president of the United States.”


Statement from Mexican Embassy in Washington, D.C.
Tancredo said he is certain the statement was released after the Mexican government communicated its expectations with the White House.

“I guarantee you that before Barack Obama decided to send the troops, he called the president of Mexico to let him know,” Tancredo said. “Things like this don’t happen without that kind of communication. This is proof of that. What they’re doing here is reaffirming what the president told them.”

Tancredo said 1,200 troops for a 2,000 mile border is an inadequate number because there have been requests for up to 8,000, with 6,000 in the Arizona area alone.


Former Rep. Tom Tancredo
“Remember, 1,200 means 400 in three shifts,” he said. “If you do not have three shifts, what does it matter? You have 1,200 out there for eight hours a day and then you pull them back? It’s ludicrous!”

Arizona border residents told Fox News today that Obama’s wavering immigration policy is only making things worse.

“Every time our president talks to the Mexican president, or every time the word amnesty comes over the Mexican news, there is a flood of people,” said one unnamed resident who feared retaliation.

The residents said troops won’t deter illegal aliens and drug smugglers.

“There’s guys out here with no guns, and they’re our troops,” she said. “The Mexicans think we’re nuts.”

As WND recently reported, thousands of illegal aliens apprehended along the 2,000 mile border stretching through California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas aren’t even from Mexico. Many are citizens of countries that are known sponsors of terrorism, including Afghanistan, Algeria, Iraq, Lebanon, Libya, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Yemen, Sudan, Syria and Iran.

Tancredo said he doesn’t believe the U.S. government’s decision to send troops is intended to improve the situation.

“I don’t think anybody thinks this matters,” he said. “Obama certainly doesn’t. That’s why he’s doing it.”

He added, “The desire is not to fix the problem. The desire is to have amnesty. All of this is in anticipation of amnesty.” "

[Dave H]

Dave, I agree, they are terrorists but I was using his words not mine. 

Hey Cbear,

That is what the PC government and most of the news agencies call them here. After all, they don't want to upset anyone! The government was even calling the Ampatuans (Ampatuan massacre) rebels and they were staunch supporters of the Philippine government and administration of GMA! It was a political clan war that included the massacre of many innocents.