Earnest young man gearing up

[Matt82]

Hi all,
 
I've been lurking on this site on and off for about a year now. Apparently one is now required to create an account to do some serious lurking. So, might as well write an introduction.
 
I'll go with Matt or Matthew on this forum, as my proper name is difficult to pronounce in English. I'm a 28 year old Dutch engineer who likes to live a calm and quiet life.
 
Up until early 2010 I was engaged (and for all intents and purposes, married) to a lovely Dutch girl with a kind heart. As with most western girls of such a soft and sweet disposition, she wasn't very assertive and needed a lot of care and attention.
 
Long story short:
 
After seven years together we hit one of life’s' inevitable little bumps. This left us somewhat reeling and during the aftermath I was unable to provide her with the (constant) reassurances and guidance she needed. I had hoped I could count on some support from her after all the trouble I went through at the onset of our relationship, but it was not to be. She went off to greener pastures and I was left picking up the pieces. 
 
I've spent the last year thinking about my past relationship and how to improve on it in future. I understand why things went tits up and blame neither her, nor myself for the outcome. Still a shame though...
 
Marriage however, is definitely for me. 
 
I've never cared for the liberties of single life. Got no wild oats to sow. I just love having a warm and kind woman in my life. Coming home to a hug and kiss. Familiarity, comfort. Don't get me wrong. I like sex  , but crave affection. Unfortunately, this is where I run into problems...
 
While I don't really trip over girls who just want to have some fun, there are plenty enough around. The sweethearts though, are in very short supply. Modern western culture is not conducive to raising girls (or boys) with traditional (by western standards) values.
 
I don't begrudge anyone their liberties, but am slightly bummed it's so hard to find a decent woman.
 
Life is for living, so I like to take a proactive approach instead of just waiting around to see what'll happen. This site is one of the better sources my search has led me. I would like to thank all of you who took the effort to participate in creating this little fount of knowledge 
 
Even if I never end up looking abroad, I learnt a lot by reading the archives and discussions.
 
As for me, for the moment I'll continue lurking. I'm still busy getting to where I want to be in my personal life. When I'm there, the search for a lovely Pinay will commence! (Unless a local girl comes to her senses and snags me before it's too late)
 
All the best,
 
- Matt -
 
Incidentally, I do have actual eyes. Though you'd be hard pressed to tell from my avatar... Maybe look for a moody photo. Smiling causes my eyes to vanish :S
 

[Jeff S]

Hi Matt. Thank you for coming out in the open. Lots of engineers going Asia for life partners. Not sure why that is, maybe it has to do with being calm, collected, and analytical - much like the women there, at least their reputation.


-Jeff

[thekfc]

Hi Matt.
Welcome to the Planet.

[Bob_S]

Welcome, Matt.  You've come to the right place.  Forget those local girls.  They don't match your character, and I think you know that.  What you need is best found in the Far East.  We got people here with experience all over.  Decide what you really need and we can shove you in the right direction.

Bob

[piglett]

welcome to the board Matt
why wait, start chatting with a few cuties from the PI now
you still have a lot to learn & IMHO
one of the best ways is by getting your feet wet
i know i found my share of scammers & probably a few good ones who got away for various reasons.however i learned something from each & every one.
once you can spot a scammer 10km away in heavy cover
your ready to find the rite lady for you.
 
happy hunting
piglett

[z_k_g]

Welcome to P-L Matt!

Your approach to P-L was similar to mine.  I read archives for well over two months I think before I actually signed up.

Asia is a great place and there are many female types, looks, shapes and sizes to choose from and most are great life-mate material.

Pick wisely.

Zul

[braziliangirl]

Welcome to the board poetic Matt!
I can relate to your problem with the eyes. Mine tend to vanish when I smile as well. But I keep on smiling, even though I can also relate to you with the problem with the heart.
Best of luck.
 
 

[Jeff S]

Yeah but those dimples appear instead...

[robert angel]

Welcome Matt82,

You sound like a good prospect and I think you will really enjoy this endeavor. Your command of English is amazing!

[Micky]

Welcome Mateo -
 
I must say that was a very good intro and,  as RA said,  you have some great english.  Best to you in your search.  You may want to give Colombia some thought,  we have better futbol than Asia.
 
Micky

[robert angel]

Yeah but those dimples appear instead...

Matt,
Filipinas go absolutely gaga over dimples, as well as eyes and hair that aren't brown or black!

[robert angel]

Matt--Forgot to warn you--get too close to Micky and he'll try and convince you that S. American football is much better than European too! (Actually Micky's a GREAT guy to fall in with)

[Micky]

RA -

 
Are you going to tell me that the futbol in Europe is BETTER??  Then tell me why is it that there are Colombianos playing in every league in Europe and NOT ONE European playing in Liga Postobon?  They are very afraid,  you have to have REAL game to play here.  (the fact that you make about ten bucks a game has nothing to do with it).
 
Micky

[Matt82]

Wow... That's quite some replies. Thanks for the warm welcome ^^
 
@ Jeff S
 
That's a very plausible hypothesis. Could be fun to explore it a bit.
 
@ Bob S
 
You're right, most local girls are far from compatible. Even the sweethearts aren't a wise bet (usually). From what I gather, Asian women are strong yet soft and yielding. Strong western women tend to be confrontational and competitive (even with a loving partner). The kind and caring ones I've run into had major dependency and/or anxiety issues. 
 
Feel free to boot me in the right direction. 
I'll provide a more detailed list of what I'm aiming for later.
 
@ piglett
 
You're spot on. Gaining insight is paramount and one shouldn't waste time. Visiting the Philippines for a couple of weeks to get a good taste of the culture is at the top of my list.
 
I'm currently unable to visit and want to get some other affairs in order before initiating contact. Suppose I started chatting and ran across the one for me? Being unable to visit would bug the hell out of me. She might also question my competence or intentions. Even mistake me for a time waster. 
 
Proper preparations won't take too long. I'll be happily hunting soon enough.
 
@ zkg

Those archives are a treasure trove of useful info.

"Pick wisely" - Ay, there's the rub...
 
@ brazilliangirl
 
Thank you.
 
It's a genetic fluke. My sister is similarly afflicted. Glad to hear you keep on smiling. With a smidge of patience and some solid effort, we'll find the right one and our hearts will surely mend.
 
@ robert
 
I aspire to be a good prospect and hope a nice girl will consider me as such. Thanks for the vote of confidence.
 
As I'm sure you've surmised, Dutch is my native language. Thanks to the good old Cartoon Network (and later some great authors) my comprehension of English is on par with that of my mother tongue. Just don't ask me about any grammar rules for either as I haven't got a clue. 
 
I'm a swift learner and easily pick up things that catch my interest. I'm also rather lazy... After 4 years of French and German I should be able to carry a simple conversation in either language, but I haven't got a prayer. (Probably should have done a bit of homework. ) Even after studying Japanese and Mandarin for a year, I still can't string a coherent sentence together in anything but Dutch and English.
 
I do love English though. It's such a rich language and lends itself beautifully to elegant and precise delineations. My mother fostered a fondness for the use of idiom. Which (to me) is at the heart of any language and the cultures that use it. We think in language and can only express the thoughts we have adequate vocabulary to describe.
 
Please forgive me for prattling on. I'll shut up now. 
 
@ Micky
 
I'm one of few Dutch males who couldn't give a toss about football...
 
Please don't regard that as a slight against those who do enjoy it. It's an entertaining game and I watch the occasional match. I actually prefer baseball, which I played when I was a kid. Here in the Netherlands it's a small time thing and that's great for the overall atmosphere. Small stadiums, so you feel connected to the game and the people around you. Never seen an argument or fight. Just pleasant conversations.
 
While I don't think any experience comes close to having a romp with a passionate Latina, I probably won't enjoy the other side of the medallion... Volatility. 
 
I strive for a life of pleasant tranquility. As far as I'm aware that is not the natural habitat of a full-blooded Latina. (Though I could be mistaken.)
 
--
Could somebody please explain about the dimples? Would I be correct in assuming it's not a sign of rugged manliness? (Being considered adorable by anyone of female persuasion is one of my curses. Even when I'm sparring during martial arts class I apparently look 'cute'.  )

[Matt82]

(Had to retype this as spellcheck ate my message  )
 
Here's the list of wants and needs, Bob. I'd love to find out what the experienced board members will make of it.
 
Initially I was focusing on Japan as Japanese girls are beautiful and adorable (with their high pitched voices). Japanese culture is also very interesting, but probably not the best match for me. From what I've read the Philippines are a safer bet. Still, what do I know.    I never visited either country. 
 
The main obstacles I see are religion and children.
 
As far as I'm concerned, people can believe whatever fairytale most appeals to them, but I have a hard time taking most of it seriously. However, there are people out there whose faith inspires them to selflessly help others. One can hardly object to that. Personally, I lean towards humanism and tend to get on swimmingly with those who don't proselytize their beliefs.
 
As for children, I think the world doesn't really need more people. Also, it's a lot easier to live a simple and quiet life without little rug rats scampering around. Given the choice between being single or happily married with kids, I'd go for the latter. Though I'd vastly prefer if it were just me and the little lady.
 
Anyway, the list.
 
CHARACTER
 
Kind hearted
Affectionate
Cuddly
Shy
Optimistic / bubbly
Childlike [NOT to be confused with childish!]
Loves being doted on
Longs to be close to me
 
Loyal
Reliable
Honest
Reasonable [able to discuss problems calmly and rationally]
Able to take charge should the need arise (rarely)
Patient (enough)
Proper balance between modesty and pride
Frugal except for the occasional splash
Curious [eager to learn]
 
DESIRES
 
Knows what she wants out of life
Wants her man to be in charge
Content to live a simple life
 
PHYSICALITY
 
Feminine
Petite [fragile / innocent]
Girly girl / girl next door
Modestly dressed in public (not so much at home    )
Pale skin
Playful in the bedroom
 
ACTIVITY
 
Would love it if she had a passion for something. Cooking, singing, dancing, ...
 
She could work part-time for some additional income, socializing and security.
 
--
I probably forgot something, but this 'll do.

I actually didn't do that bad first time round.   
My Dutch sweetie ticked a lot of these boxes.

[Ray]

　
Hi Matt,
　
Not wanting any children will be a deal buster for probably 90% of Filipinas of childbearing age. Even if a childless Filipina woman agrees with you that she also doesn’t want children, don’t be surprised if she changes her mind in a couple of years.
　
The best way to approach this issue would be to ask her early on what her desires are regarding having children, without first divulging your own thoughts on the topic. That way, you can start making eliminations early before anyone starts to get serious.
　
The overwhelming majority of Filipinos should be considered religious to one degree or another, mostly Christian and 85% Catholic overall. I wouldn’t worry about Catholic Filipina ladies proselytizing or trying to convert you to their faith because that is extremely rare. They may likely expect you to at least believe in a higher being and respect their right to practice their faith, but they generally have a live and let live attitude about your specific beliefs. If you did decide to have children with her and you wouldn’t mind her raising your children as Catholics, then that would be a big plus.
　
Though "pale skin" can also be found in the Philippines, I would expect most of the ladies to have brown skin, which is one of the main features that attracts a lot of us to Filipinas in the first place.
　
Otherwise, most of your other criteria should be no big problem in the Philippines.
　
Ray
　
 

[piglett]

well you know Matt as you get older you change.
i never thought i would want some pain in the @ss kid running around either.
however as i get older i have SLOWLY started to somewhat warm to the idea.
after all who will i give all my $hit away to when i get old??? my wife & i decided on waiting 5 years.
this gives us time to get all of our ducks in a row. bank some cash & also spend a bunch of time together ( just her & I)
 
 
 
good luck
piglett
 
PS: how about if she just wanted 1 child .....would that be a deal breaker?

[Matt82]

@ Ray
 
Yeah, not wanting children doesn't go over well with ladies anywhere. The few who don't want kids themselves tend not to be the kind and caring sort. So, that's a bit of a pickle. 
 
"without first divulging your own thoughts "
 
Luckily I learned that clever little trick ages ago. All someone has to do is parrot what you're saying and that's it. You're boned. Thanks for the reminder though. One tends to forget such things when emotions run high. 
 
Catholic girls would be my prime target in the Philippines. Their faith seems to contribute a lot to what makes them so desirable. She'd be free to practice her faith however she sees fit. If I were to have kids though, I wouldn't want them raised in any particular faith. I suppose this doesn't help matters...
 
Pale skin is just a preference. As far as Asia goes, I meant relative paleness. I.e. non morenas. 
 
Any idea what the common reaction is to men who can't sire children (firing blanks, so to say)? Guys who had vasectomies during a previous marriage. Some couples must discover they simply can't conceive. What happens then?
 
Good to know the other needs and desires are attainable. I'd be much more inclined to compromise on some issues if a girl matched (nearly) all of them.
 
@ piglett

Kids running around and complicating things isn't my biggest worry. I'm sure we would be able to raise them decently enough for them not to cause mayhem. It's just, your whole life changes when you become a (responsible) parent. 
 
Things will never be the same again, especially for the first 20 years... It's a huge commitment. Having kids just to make the wife happy isn't a good enough reason to me. You have to want them yourself or it's a bit unfair on them, I think.
 
I did consider picking a single mom with one kid. However, children who grow up without siblings tend to be more self-centered. As far as kids are concerned, it's in for a penny, in for a pound.
 
It 'll take quite a bit of soul searching to come to a decision on this matter. 

[Jeff S]

While not wanting kids might be a deal breaker in the Philippines, it would be much less so in Japan. Pale skin is also pretty common in Japan as is an Eastern philosophy, rather than Western religion (that stresses getting the most out of today rather than preparing fro an afterlife.)


You do have to be OK with the culture and it's quite different than many others in the world. Out of curiosity, what part of the Japanese culture do you not think fits with you?


The dimples comment was a tease directed at braziliangirl who complained that her eyes disappear when she smiles.

[Matt82]

@ Jeff S
 
Japanese women and their culture have a lot going for them, including the things you just mentioned. I like the language and the fact it's a first world country. I love the pervasiveness of cute and there’s plenty more going for it. 
 
Some of the things that make me hesitate are:
- confusing communication caused by air reading and not wanting to offend
- the compulsory conformity
- the seniority system
- parasite singles
- the persistent rumor of zero sex after a few years of marriage or kids 
- xenophobia
 
Admittedly, a lot of these have to do with living over there, as that’s what I was considering when I read about their idiosyncrasies.
 
I would prefer to focus on Japan, so I'd be grateful if you could (convincingly) talk me into it. 

[Jeff S]

Well, as a gaijin you're not expected to conform and you bring neither shame nor contempt if you don't. The general expectation from Westerners are that they're loud and obnoxious, so as long as you're polite and respectful, you will go over extremely well there.


Xenophobia is pretty much a thing of the past. Yes, there are holdouts, but mostly the older, more rural crowd. Bob S had some family issues with this but in my case, it wasn't an issue at all.


You have a point about learning to communicate, as Japanese are well known to beat around the bush in conversation. It took my wife and I years to really understand each other's signals and we still occasionally miss them. I don't know if that's all culture, or just a man/women thing because I know guys who married the girl next door and after 20 years of marriage, they still don't have a clue what the other one is talking about. More communication is always the universal solvent in these cases, and I find that Japanese women, (at least those I know) are a whole not more willing to approach further communication with an open mind as opposed to rage and resistance that seems to be the main perceived method to move ahead by Western women, and to some extent Latinas.


The zero sex thing and parasite singles are mostly the fault of the men, IMO. They've been raised to be so stressed out by societal pressures that they kind of collapse to a kind of zombie state. Many of the younger women have a very hard time finding masculine men. Many are mommy's little boys, an attribute I think arises from not having a father around except for Sunday afternoons when they have to appear emasculated to please the little woman since she'd been forced to run the household since last Sunday afternoon. The 70s, 80s and 90s when salarymen who left for work before 8 AM and dragged in home after 11 PM six days a week, then spent 6 months at a time in overseas assignments had serious repercussions in the families and next generation. There was a serious out-of-balance condition on the Japanese public then. Previous generations didn't have these problems. My FIL was a macho kind of businessman who had a girlfriend on the side his entire life and still  enjoys a healthy sex life into his 90s.


Of course, none of this applies to you as a gaijin. You get to set the tone for the relationship, and most women are willing to follow your lead, so long as you let them participate in the decisions - just like anywhere else in the world. Japanese women in general understand the team concept of marriage where each member contributes to the whole in their own way.


In my case, I married a very well educated woman from a well-off family who was worldly, knew how to handle money, drive and deal with the pressures of modern society. She's typical in that she's fiercely loyal, trusting, and never abdicates her duties and responsibilities. She's very aware (and this is a Japanese thing also) that Rome wasn't built in a day and that anything worthwhile takes working for. "Step by step" is one of her favorite expressions and she's willing to put in the effort before she expects results.


Japanese society, to me, is a fascinating mix of ancient and new, relaxed and formal, science and superstition, conformity and independence - a very balanced way of life. The trouble I see in bad mixed race marriages is when one of the two refuses to back off of their own culture and integrate the good parts of their own with the good parts of the other's. I've seen it both ways, where the Japanese wife expected her gaijin husband to act like a Japanese man, but more often, it's the gaijin husband who expects his Japanese wife to act like his fantasy ideal of what a Japanese wife is supposed to act like. Do not expect a compliant dutiful little women who'll follow you around like a puppy dog trying to please you. It spite of rumors to the contrary, Japanese women are in-general, strong, competent, independent, and capable. They're also in-general willing to accept that you are the same and integrate their strengths with yours. If you have none of those traits, yourself, you may be in for an unpleasant ride.

[Bob_S]

If you search long and hard enough, you will find everything you're looking for in one package.  But generally speaking, women of different cultures have different characters, so you're more likely to find certain traits in the women of one place than you are of another.  Heck, you can look at the people of the country to your south east and look at the people of the country to your south west and see that.  So you might spend nearly a lifetime to find Miss Absolute Perfect.  So in the end, you'll have to decide which character trait is more important than another.  So you might want a "10" in trait A, a "2" in trait B, a "5" in trait C, and so on.

So, given that, here is my humble opinion based on a blend of my personal experience and what I've read from others' accounts of where you are likely to find the particular trait you are looking for, dealing specifically with the Big 4 (China, Japan, S. Korea, and Philippines).  Others can chime in on their thoughts.

The main obstacles I see are religion and children.
 
As far as I'm concerned, people can believe whatever fairytale most appeals to them, but I have a hard time taking most of it seriously. However, there are people out there whose faith inspires them to selflessly help others. One can hardly object to that. Personally, I lean towards humanism and tend to get on swimmingly with those who don't proselytize their beliefs.

Filipinas are 90% devoutly Catholic.  They won't proselytize or press you, but they will expect to be able to practice their own faith and WILL want to take their children to catechism.  You earn bonus points as a husband if you accompany her to mass on the big holidays.
The only Asians who might be inclined to proselytize would be Protestants who are already a minority in their respective countries and will push for a husband who shares her faith so she won't feel so lonely.
The Buddhists, Shinto, Taoists, Daoists, and Confucianists of Japan, China, and Korea are more functionally Agnostics where the religion is not so much a deeply held faith in the Western tradition but rather a shared cultural tradition that you go along with even if you don't really believe the stories as historical fact.  Ask any educated Japanese and they'll tell you they believe in Evolution, but they still expect a Shinto wedding ceremony and a Buddhist funeral when they die.

As for children, I think the world doesn't really need more people. Also, it's a lot easier to live a simple and quiet life without little rug rats scampering around. Given the choice between being single or happily married with kids, I'd go for the latter. Though I'd vastly prefer if it were just me and the little lady.

A Catholic Filipina will want children.  Even if she tells you she doesn't, she does, just not right now.  If you really don't want kids, consider the countries with the lowest birth rates.  That would be China (especially Hong Kong) and Japan.  And China only has such a low birth rate because the government forces them to.

As for your list, in a nutshell here's where you can find what you want.
 
CHARACTER
Kind hearted - Philippines
Affectionate - Philippines
Cuddly - Philippines
Shy - Japan
Optimistic / bubbly - Philippines
Childlike [NOT to be confused with childish!] - Philippines, Japan, Korea
Loves being doted on - Philippines
Longs to be close to me - Philippines
 
Loyal - Japan
Reliable - Japan
Honest - Japan
Reasonable [able to discuss problems calmly and rationally] - Japan
Able to take charge should the need arise (rarely) - China
Patient (enough) - Japan HANDS DOWN ABSOLUTELY
Proper balance between modesty and pride - Japan
Frugal except for the occasional splash - China
Curious [eager to learn] - Depends.  Filipinas and Chinese are very quick learners and can adapt quickly.  But Japanese are more cosmopolitan and are interested and curious about the outside world.  So it depends on what you are looking for.
 
DESIRES
Knows what she wants out of life - Any
Wants her man to be in charge - Philippines, Japan
Content to live a simple life - Philippines
 
PHYSICALITY
Feminine - Korea
Petite [fragile / innocent] - Korea, Japan
Girly girl / girl next door - those are not necessarily the same. But anyway, for girly girl, if you had asked 5 years ago, I would say Japan.  They set the standard for cute.  But recently Korea has surpassed them in girly girl fashion.  So I'll say Korea followed closely by Japan.
Modestly dressed in public (not so much at home    ) - Any.  They are all pretty much conservative that way.
Pale skin - Korea, Japan, urban China
Playful in the bedroom - Philippines
 
ACTIVITY
Would love it if she had a passion for something. Cooking, singing, dancing, ... - Any
 
She could work part-time for some additional income, socializing and security. - Philippines, China, but understand that they will want to send part of their income back to their parents to help support their family.  That's just part of the package.

Re: Japanese Women that make you hesitate:
- confusing communication caused by air reading and not wanting to offend
Yeah, there is that.  But any cross-cultural marriage will have that confusing communication.  J-girls' patience more than makes up for it.
- the compulsory conformity
By marrying a foreigner, they are by definition rejecting that conformity.
- the seniority system
Same.  With a foreign spouse, they are outside the seniority system.
- parasite singles
That is singles.  Wives are different.  The parasite singles are basically drifting in society without a defined role.  When a woman becomes a wife, she now has a role and quickly adapts to it.
- the persistent rumor of zero sex after a few years of marriage or kids 
That is only within Japanese society where people live in multi-generational homes with no privacy and where the husband is away at work for 20 hours a day 6 days a week.
- xenophobia
There is that.  But as an outsider in their society, you have the status of Respected Guest (and curious circus animal).  You will rarely if ever encounter a situation that you can point to and say "ah, that's racist".  Your foreign spouse is far more likely to encounter such situations in your own society.

Just some food for thought.

[Matt82]

Thanks for the lengthy and informative replies Jeff and Bob.
I'll leave a proper response later, as my head is still spinning from Bob's list. 
 
(Though it looks like it's going to (have to) be Japan.)

[z_k_g]

Matt,

I'd like to chime in on this discussion without being redundant because I agree with most that has been posted.

I think Bob's list is 95% accurate and would be a good guide for any newbie.  I was recently in the Philippines (you can read my trip report) and I met many many single pinays (relatives, friends and classmates of my sweetie).

I was able to have some pretty lengthy one on one conversations about exactly what they want in a relationship, life and marriage etc.

Now mind you of the females were ages 19 to 25, college educated, single, no children and virgins (I think) and I was essentially in a "province" town in Central Vasayas.

1. The females wanted to finish school first before marriage and children.  Most preferred to marry at 25 or older and not have children until 28 or so.  Most wanted to  marry a man within 5 to 10 years of their age.  However, when asked in general, they said that a man in his 40's is most desirable because he is perceived to be mature and responsible.  I did not meet one pinay that was interested in a twenty-something foreigner.  (At my hotel the 3 hostesses, all very hot, gave me their facebook emails and told me to specifically introduce them to American men 30 to 45.  All three were under 21)  On average, the sweet spot seemed to be foreign males 35 to 45 based on the small group I met.

2. All (95%) wanted children at some point.  If this is a deal killer for you, stay out of the Philippines.  Even some pinays who have 1 child want more; you will rarely find a pinay with just 1 child, its not the way they do families, they like a houseful and will even adopt a sister or brothers or relatives child and raise them as their own.  When you walk into a filipino house it will be full of people, there will be rice, chickens somewhere in the vicinity  and their will be lots of children!

3. The new generation of pinay wants more independence.  I think this is a result of more feminist themes on American TV which they watch a lot.   But this independence is not feminism by any stretch.  Its more respect as equals,  job opportunities and more decision making in the family setting.  Men run sh*t in the Philippines (except at home which is the woman's domain), no mistake about that, and Pinays love a man to take charge and they love to be treated as the woman. 

4. From what I've seen you will find a wide rage of skin tones.  Northern Luzon you will find more white and pale skin tones.  I did not visit this area but I noticed the men and women were of much lighter skin who were from there that I met.  Vasayas, the central Island region and Mandanao in the South you will find the brown morenas and even darker skin which I love!!  My sweetie is a morena and her skin has a permanent light brown tan, very beautiful!!

Seems that you have made your decision already to look in Japan based on Bob's list.

Ironically, my search started in Japan and I ended up in the Philippines.  Why?

The primary reason was language.  I really wanted to hit the ground running and not have to learn a new language. 

Second was acceptance.  The Japanese are very of many accepting foreigners but still very xenophobic about dark skin.  This was a deal breaker for me but you will not have to deal with this issue. 

Finally, the culture and people seemed more endearing, less structured more accepting.

The biggest downside to the Philippines is the lack of infrastructure, extreme poverty, the high "kano" price and dealing with anything that has to do with the government or police.

These are area where Japan shines and in some cases outshines the US.

Hope this helps also,

Zulu

[jm21-2]

Hi Matt,


In China or Taiwan religion wouldn't be a problem, and there are plenty of girls who don't really want to have children, or maybe just one. They can be feminine and cuddly when you dote on them a bit, but they are definitely not frail. If they get PO'd at you, from my experience, they will not give you the silent treatment. They will definitely let you know they are upset. Very reserved about nudity and sex in most ways.


No sense of conformity, may be stuck with the idea of supporting your parents or their parents, and she'd likely be a bit on the spoiled side if she's in her 20's. No xenophobia really but a bit of racism.


Don't know if that helps at all.