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Offline Dough333

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Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« on: February 04, 2015, 12:06:16 PM »
Hi everyone.


I just wanted to drop in and say hi.  I am 35 and live in Phoenix, AZ.  Decided to try out the international dating scene in July. Met a girl and started talking to exclusively right away but after a few months that didn't work out. Met another wonderful girl and I am travelling to meet her in two weeks. I'm extremely excited and I think I have all of my i's dotted and t's crossed.


Any last second advice?

Offline AndyLee

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2015, 12:20:36 PM »
Hi everyone.


I just wanted to drop in and say hi.  I am 35 and live in Phoenix, AZ.  Decided to try out the international dating scene in July. Met a girl and started talking to exclusively right away but after a few months that didn't work out. Met another wonderful girl and I am travelling to meet her in two weeks. I'm extremely excited and I think I have all of my i's dotted and t's crossed.


Any last second advice?
I wish you good luck on your upcoming trip, and congratulations on getting started in international dating.
I am curious about many things to do with international dating and you, for example;
Why did you decide to go international?
Where did you start? online? Cupid sites?
What are your impressions so far?
How much are you planning to spend in your trip to meet just one woman?
Do you speak Spanish, or does she speak English? How will you communicate without a translator?
These are some of the burning questions that keep me awake at night :)
Seriously, good luck with your trip, and welcome to P-L

If you are unhappy change something. Quit your job. Move. Leave your miserable relationship. Stop making excuses. You are in control.

Offline Ray

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2015, 12:21:55 PM »

Where are you going Dough?


Ray

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2015, 12:21:55 PM »

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2015, 12:23:47 PM »

Do you speak Spanish, or does she speak English? How will you communicate without a translator?



He posted on Asian forum  lol

Offline Dough333

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2015, 12:58:18 PM »
Ahh.. sorry for leaving out so many details :)


I am traveling to the Philippines.


[size=0px]Why did you decide to go international?[/size]


I decided to try out International dating for a few reasons. I wasn't having much luck in the USA. I'm overweight and girls here have a hard time looking past that. I am probably more attractive to international girls because they are more focused on my good qualities like my ability to care, financial stability, non violent, respectful etc..  I also have always been attracted to Asian women so on the physical side it made sense to me.
[/size][size=0px]Where did you start? online? Cupid sites?


I actually started in Cherry Blossom. I met a girl there who I talked with for 3 months. I actually had plans to visit her but had to back out the last second and our relationship crumbled after that. I broke up with her because she just wasn't a happy person ultimately.What are your impressions so far?


So far so good. If you can have patients, not get frustrated with all of the junk then it's okay. It is a little different having a lot of girls who want to talk to you but I have a good idea of what I am looking for and for now I am happy with who I am with.How much are you planning to spend in your trip to meet just one woman?


Yes just one woman. I have been advised by many to talk to and meet a few girls but I just can't wrap my head around that. It seems so dating gamish and it wouldn't allow me to really devote my affection to just one person.
Do you speak Spanish, or does she speak English? How will you communicate without a translator?


[/size]She speaks english and I'm slowly learning a bit of Tagalog.[/size][size=0px]
[/size]
[/size]
[/size]Hope that helps :)

Offline Jhengsman

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2015, 02:09:32 PM »
Ahh.. sorry for leaving out so many details :)


I am traveling to the Philippines.

Do you speak Spanish, or does she speak English? How will you communicate without a translator?


She speaks english and I'm slowly learning a bit of Tag
:) alog.[size=0px]
[/size]

Hope that helps
Since the Spanish issue is out of the way good luck to you. Last minute.... get to the airport in time with a passport and credit card that you have informed the issuer that you will be travelling. Everything else is extra.

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2015, 03:18:35 PM »

I decided to try out International dating for a few reasons. I wasn't having much luck in the USA. I'm overweight and girls here have a hard time looking past that.


Isn't by going to the gym cheaper for you?

Offline Ray

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2015, 04:04:09 PM »

Which part of the Philippines are you going to?

If you haven't already read it, get a copy of Culture Shock! Philippines by Roces (Amazon.com)

Make sure that she has never been married...

Any chance that you may get engaged during your trip and want to file a fiancée visa petition when you return? If so, there are some important documents/evidence that you will need to bring back with you.


Ray

Offline robert angel

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2015, 04:07:18 PM »
Ahh.. sorry for leaving out so many details :)


I am traveling to the Philippines.


[size=0px]Why did you decide to go international?[/size]


I decided to try out International dating for a few reasons. I wasn't having much luck in the USA. I'm overweight and girls here have a hard time looking past that. I am probably more attractive to international girls because they are more focused on my good qualities like my ability to care, financial stability, non violent, respectful etc..  I also have always been attracted to Asian women so on the physical side it made sense to me.
[/size][size=0px]Where did you start? online? Cupid sites?


I actually started in Cherry Blossom. I met a girl there who I talked with for 3 months. I actually had plans to visit her but had to back out the last second and our relationship crumbled after that. I broke up with her because she just wasn't a happy person ultimately.What are your impressions so far?


So far so good. If you can have patients, not get frustrated with all of the junk then it's okay. It is a little different having a lot of girls who want to talk to you but I have a good idea of what I am looking for and for now I am happy with who I am with.How much are you planning to spend in your trip to meet just one woman?


Yes just one woman. I have been advised by many to talk to and meet a few girls but I just can't wrap my head around that. It seems so dating gamish and it wouldn't allow me to really devote my affection to just one person.
Do you speak Spanish, or does she speak English? How will you communicate without a translator?


[/size]She speaks english and I'm slowly learning a bit of Tagalog.[/size][size=0px]
[/size]
[/size]
[/size]Hope that helps :)


OK--for starters, bring tums, toilet tissue and at least chocolate for her and her family.

Nikes, Adidas stuff would be loved, Victoria's Secret, Aeropostale, Hollister etc--trendy stuff you might catch on sale--they probably don't come right out and ask (maybe they do some) but they'll expect you to come bearing gifts from the USA to an extent. Watch your luggage weight though. The US Post Office usually will check your luggage weight beforehand if you ask nicely on a slow day.

No TP aside from hotel and some restaurant bathrooms there--all typically 3/4 scale to USA size--'Comfort rooms'--they're called for some insane reason.

Which part you going to--city--rural--in between?

Figure on cash although credit cards work fine for cash withdrawals and to pay things like hotels or at major retailers. Carry smaller bills & coins always for taxi drivers who never seem to have change when you whip out a 500 or 1000 peso bill for a 100P fare. Tipping is different there--not typically expected, but boy, it makes their day, alright.

Generally $75 to a $100 lets you live large in almost any area there. If you're taking her family and friends all to the beach--resort it would be awesome and you can conceivably run over that amount, but typically it's such a huge delight to them, it makes me feel super good--worth every penny. I am hesitant to let my CC out of my sight overseas. Keep your passport and large sums in a hotel safe deposit box. If it's a lot of money, just send it to me, and I'll take care of it for you. ::)

Bring a camera--your phone might not work over there or be too expensive to call on--go to a pawn shop and for the price of a few calls made on your US phone  over there, you can buy a decent used phone and give it away or sell it back later. Let her negotiate prices--it'll save you money.

Don't over worry--even if worst case scenario you decide to bail out on her, if you get out and about, you'll certainly meet some nice people who want you to have a good impression of their country.
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

Offline robert angel

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2015, 04:10:38 PM »

Isn't by going to the gym cheaper for you?

And the Elmer's Glue Award for tacky, totally tactless commentary goes toooooo---GATO!  :o
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2015, 06:18:50 PM »
And the Elmer's Glue Award for tacky, totally tactless commentary goes toooooo---GATO!  :o


 :D

Offline Fosgate5

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2015, 06:42:35 PM »
I'd say be yourself but don't be the stereo typical "Ugly American" tourist and explore and experience some new things while your there. Like Robert said though take some tips to not be taken advantage of. Some women may think you have plenty of money while others may thing your a fool getting ripped off. Neither impressions are what you want. Also do not get stuck in "Vacation Mode". Try to give her the impression of what you do at home and what life with you could be expected to be. Do not ignore that little voice in your head. 

Offline robert angel

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2015, 08:32:47 AM »
On the plane ride there--on the longest, 14 hour or so leg, I usually take some melatonin or whatever to make me take a good long daytime nap. When it's 12 noon here it's midnight there, so adjusting your body clock a bit will help. It's a total flip flop of your body clock. Usually you're kind of geeked up with excitement, maybe some nervousness and it's not as bad going over, but coming back, it'll catch up with you. We typically leave a couple days vacation for when we come back to readjust. If you come home at midnight Sunday and go to work at 8:30 the next Monday morning, you'll be dead in the water.

The sad fact is that even with a Filipinos own family, they often have a misconception that once you go to the USA and have a job, you're rich. And that misconception will apply to you. My wife's family is great about not asking for anything, but just out of common sense, she doesn't talk about income. Even though her parents and siblings are all college graduates and not naïve, they would probably skew it a bit and it'd possibly be taken out of proportion so we don't go there. If you set a precedent, they will expect you to follow it later.

22 or 23 thousand US dollars is a million pesos and very, very few people make anywhere near that sort of money over there and if they do, they're considered 'millionaires'. So if you tell them you make, say 35K a year, their mind will do a quick conversion and perhaps think you're akin to Bill Gates--don't go there.

As Fosgate indicates, keeping money out of the picture as much as possible is good form. It's easy once you get there and most things are relatively inexpensive compared to here, to go a bit crazy. The money looks different, the biggest bill's not much more than $20 US, so it's easy to treat, especially the lower denomination notes, like they're monopoly money and just spend a bit crazily. They will notice.

Pretty much everywhere you go there, stick to bottled water and drink plenty of it.

They will really feel a certain sort of appreciation if you don't act too weird about trying the local foods, but they'll understand if you don't want to go as far as eating balut or durian.

It will mean a great deal to them if you at least attempt to use words like: "Salamat" (Thank you) "Salamat Po"--(Thank you, with an emphasis on respect--usually for elders) Walang Anuman" (You're welcome) "Mabuhay" (greeting) and to a lesser extent nowadays--it's become a bit formal and w/ most everyone speaking English--bye or good bye is fine--but the formal word is "Paalam". Even if you totally screw up pronunciation, unlike the French, they won't let off and instead will almost always think better of you for trying. After all, many of them are nervous about their own English ability at times.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2015, 09:21:27 AM by robert angel »
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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2015, 08:32:47 AM »

Offline Dough333

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2015, 09:20:13 AM »
Thank you all for the great advice.


 I will have to add tums and toilet paper to my list. Is toilet paper something I can buy over there at a grocery store or do I need to bring that from home? I am bringing plenty of pasalubong.  I have 8lbs of bagged candy. Mostly hershey kisses, hershey mini bars, reese mini cups, nestle etc... I also am bringing a box of chocolate specifically for her mother along with body lotion and scented hand sanitizer.  I'm specifically bringing her bath and body works lotion, a camera, teddy bear, perfume, victoria secret and other stuff. Basically a gift a day.


My plan is to spend the first 3 days with her and her family. I will be hosting a dinner for her family and I plan on giving them all a gift bag of chocolates, perfume samples, beef jerky etc.


After the first 3 days me and my girlfriend will go to Puerto Galera for a week. A nice relaxing vacation and a chance for us to get to know each other more.


Im going to convert most of the cash into peso. Im not sure the rooms have safes.. is that a concern? Is it safe to keep all of my cash on me?


I don't think I've ever discussed my income with my girlfriend and I've made it very clear I am not a bank. She has never asked me for money so that is a good sign.


Im excited to eat pancit and some other foods but I'll be staying clear of balut. I might try durian.


Im slowly learning my tagalog.  Salamat, Walang Anuman, Matulog Ka Na. Ako si Aron. Kamusta Ka, Mabuti, ikaw. Masaya, Masarap, etc.. slowly learning but I think I will have enough to make an impression.


More advice is more than welcome and thank you for your great help

Offline thekfc

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2015, 10:24:53 AM »
Hi Dough - Welcome to PL.
 
I would just like to add the following.
 
I will have to add tums and toilet paper to my list. Is toilet paper something I can buy over there at a grocery store or do I need to bring that from home? .
Our TP & their are of a different size & quality - theirs are smaller & thinner. And yes you can buy they at just about any supermarket in the PI.
 
I am bringing plenty of pasalubong.  I have 8lbs of bagged candy. Mostly hershey kisses, hershey mini bars, reese mini cups, nestle etc... I also am bringing a box of chocolate specifically for her mother along with body lotion and scented hand sanitizer.  I'm specifically bringing her bath and body works lotion, a camera, teddy bear, perfume, victoria secret and other stuff. Basically a gift a day.
Try avoid bringing any personal (lingerie, bra, panties, etc,) items. T-shirts & the likes are ok and would make great gifts.

Im going to convert most of the cash into peso. Im not sure the rooms have safes.. is that a concern? Is it safe to keep all of my cash on me?
I wouldn't keep any money in a safe especially when I am out.
 
It is best to have a CC to pay for the more "expensive" things - hotels, trips, etc, & to take money out as needed.
There are some CC with no foreign transaction fees - Chase Sapphire, Capital One Venture & Quicksilver, Citi ThankYou Prestige are some of the few.
 
Also be aware that your card may NOT work in a few ATM as some of these ATM only accept "local" card. You may have to go and use an ATM inside a back - there are international banks like Citibank, HSBC, Chase, Bank Of America & Deuthche all have branches in various cities in the PI.
 

Im excited to eat pancit and some other foods but I'll be staying clear of balut. I might try durian.
You will try Durian but not balut?  :o
Personally, I haven't and will not try either one.  After 5 years, some of my wife's family member are still trying to convince me to try balut.
Also there will be times when you may hear someone shouting baluuuut - that would be someone passing by selling balut.
 
Try eating (tasting) as many different food as possible and remember the ones you don't like so you repeat eating them.
 
And bring a bottle of Tabasco or sauce. They do make some dishes taste better.  ;D 
 
After the first 3 days me and my girlfriend will go to Puerto Galera for a week
You haven't stated what city/area you are going to but since you will be heading to PG for a week that would mean that you be in either Luzon or Visayas. You may be flying into/out of NAIA. It is not as bad as some people make it out to be.
 

 
If we were all forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?

Offline Dough333

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #15 on: February 05, 2015, 10:41:38 AM »
I've made to sure to ask to make sure they have ketchup and sauces. I've even went so far as to ask the resort these question.


Sorry.. she lives in Dasmarines City. From what I have researched it is about a 3-4 hour bus ride from there to Batangas Pier and then from Batangas Pier it is about a 1 hour ferry to Puerto Galera.


Outside of her mother I haven't planned to give her other relatives and friends anything beyond chocolates and perfumes/colognes. If I start bringing them tshirts and the likes it gets expensive and takes up on space.


As to my girlfriend, I didn't get her much in clothing outside of Victoria Secret and we have already discussed this. Thankfully she is not really that high maintenance and I plan on going to the mall and taking her shopping before we go to PG to get her a swimsuit, dress etc..

Offline benjio

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #16 on: February 05, 2015, 11:14:48 AM »
Outside of her mother I haven't planned to give her other relatives and friends anything beyond chocolates and perfumes/colognes. If I start bringing them tshirts and the likes it gets expensive and takes up on space.


I've never really dated in Asia but is it standard to buy her family gifts on your first trip to visit a girl? Is it something that's expected or are you just trying to be nice/make a good impression?


As to my girlfriend, I didn't get her much in clothing outside of Victoria Secret and we have already discussed this.


You big ol' stud you...  ;D ;D ;D ;D
« Last Edit: February 05, 2015, 11:16:23 AM by benjio »

Offline Dough333

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #17 on: February 05, 2015, 11:23:43 AM »
Benjio


From my understand, the research that I've done, Pasalubong ( gift bringing ) is a big part of their culture. I have been told my girlfriend that it is an expectation. She has told me that chocolate is number 1 and everyone will be satisfied with chocolate. In the case of her mother, I am giving her box of chocolate that can be shared with the entire family.








Gato4Astrid

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #18 on: February 05, 2015, 11:23:51 AM »
Outside of her mother I haven't planned to give her other relatives and friends anything beyond chocolates and perfumes/colognes. If I start bringing them tshirts and the likes it gets expensive and takes up on space.


As to my girlfriend, I didn't get her much in clothing outside of Victoria Secret and we have already discussed this. Thankfully she is not really that high maintenance and I plan on going to the mall and taking her shopping before we go to PG to get her a swimsuit, dress etc..


You shouldn't really spend too much on gifts especially when you haven't met her yet.   I would give the mother something that come from your city/country - souvenir, plus maybe flowers when you arrive there!







Gato4Astrid

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #19 on: February 05, 2015, 11:24:46 AM »
Benjio


From my understand, the research that I've done, Pasalubong ( gift bringing ) is a big part of their culture. I have been told my girlfriend that it is an expectation. She has told me that chocolate is number 1 and everyone will be satisfied with chocolate. In the case of her mother, I am giving her box of chocolate that can be shared with the entire family.


Any genuine women should NEVER expected anything from you.  Local boyfriends to give their girlfriends perfumes?   They can afford them?




And be prepared to buy her $500 iPad in the future in addition to iPhone (!) 
« Last Edit: February 05, 2015, 11:27:55 AM by Gato4Astrid »

Offline Dough333

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #20 on: February 05, 2015, 11:27:48 AM »
Gato... please refrain from commenting further on this thread. You are not really adding anything productive and are not really giving me any positive advice.


Thank you

Gato4Astrid

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #21 on: February 05, 2015, 11:28:34 AM »
Gato... please refrain from commenting further on this thread. You are not really adding anything productive and are not really giving me any positive advice.


Thank you


It is a FREE country, and I can post whatever I want to!  And most importantly, you are asking us for out advice! 


Feel free buying them hundreds of gifts, and don't blame me if things do not work out.  You need to remember that you are meeting her and hoping for the relationships to work never mind what gifts you are giving her.  She should be grateful for your effort to fly all the way to meet her.


« Last Edit: February 05, 2015, 11:33:05 AM by Gato4Astrid »

Offline benjio

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #22 on: February 05, 2015, 12:13:39 PM »
Benjio


From my understand, the research that I've done, Pasalubong ( gift bringing ) is a big part of their culture. I have been told my girlfriend that it is an expectation. She has told me that chocolate is number 1 and everyone will be satisfied with chocolate. In the case of her mother, I am giving her box of chocolate that can be shared with the entire family.


Now that I think of it I have heard that several Asian Cultures are "gift givers," so to each his own. Although Gato has had sort of an abrasive way of expressing this point, I would definitely feel out the situation and not be blinded by beauty/romance when you get there. I don't read half as much about gold digging girls in Asia as I do about the girls in Latin America on this board, but I'm sure even in the Phillipines there are some insincere young women more than ready to take advantage of a generous gringo if he lets her. Best of luck to you.

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #22 on: February 05, 2015, 12:13:39 PM »

Offline Dough333

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #23 on: February 05, 2015, 12:36:54 PM »
I agree Benjio.  I think it would be different if she told me I had to bring stuff or had any expectations. She actually has never asked for anything. I've asked her in the past what she would like if I brought anything and she said a teddy bear and flowers.. definitely not the gifts that someone who is looking for money would ask for.  She has specifically asked me not to buy things like expensive, or even expensive looking jewelry.


I do believe I've done a very good job of vetting out if she is a gold digger or not. They do live in a gift giving culture though. I also think it is a nice gesture and I have the means to do so.  It doesn't set me back to buy a couple of bags of mini chocolates and give her brothers and cousins a small bag of 4-5 little chocolates.


Now if I was spending $5-$10 on each of her family members (12) then it would get a bit pricey. I'm actually spending about $1 per and I've gotten creative like getting free samples of perfumes and colognes, american coins for the nephews (a penny or nickle)   Just simple stuff.

Offline Fosgate5

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Re: Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself
« Reply #24 on: February 05, 2015, 02:05:54 PM »
Not being a stranger to foreign countries, my woman when she early on dropped the suggestion to look into Filipino culture and laws while I am waiting to come there. Being the investigative and inquisitive type I started out watching video tours, programs and looking up male and female relationship roles and expectations. It's like a whole can of worms but not in a bad way. For instance I watched on one video about a tour in Manila that introduced the Quapo Colored Candles and the fortune tellers etc around Quapo Church. Then I would turn and ask her if she knows about this or partakes and come to find out she stops and burns a multi-color candle twice a month. So I go back and look closer and find it opens another question that I look up in the culture and find out many of their traditions. How Filipinos have Spanish names, social support structure etc. There are times I find she is learning from me and she is very supportive and enthusiastic that I am learning as much as I have.


Your right to think that the monetary value is not what is important to them. One thing that is apparent to me is that a gift is cherished (You certainly do not refuse one if offered). It is the fact that it is from you that matters to them. Watches, as much as Robert and I have privately discussed, are commonplace but not expensive ones. About $40 or less is what those that can afford them buy. Usually gold colored as that is the in color there, and not too flashy or expensive looking because many don't want to draw the attention of thieves and muggers. One thing I noticed there is that men's watches here are marketed as women's watches there.  My woman also expresses that chocolate is big there and you cannot go wrong with it.


As for food don't just look at it and think "no way". Maybe look at some of the local delicacies and foods before you go and peoples reactions and opinions that have tried it before. I'm totally looking forward to trying some. Wood worms in particular is one I want to try (Not really a worm but a mollusk). I grew up eating Lutefisk and Surstromming (Which I believe would make a skunk puke.). Weird I can eat that stuff, weird stuff and other delicacies but scrambled or fried eggs of any kind will send me into a vomit fest. (bad childhood experience).


 

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