wisdom wanted

[articulatefit]

Hola Todos -

I'm an employed, fit and healthy 51 year old father of 2 teens who are with me half time.  I hear I'm the 5'7" free weight strength training version of Gil Grissom, with decent conversational Spanish.  With the right partner in the context of a long teem committed partnerI really want to try for at least one more child, maybe even a few.  Yes, diapers & sleepless nights - and ultimately for me, satisfaction of a life well lived.  Wife v1 was/is a warm and lovely woman from Mexico City (met here in San Diego), but ultimately way lacking intellectual curiosity and overly interested in fully expressing her inner consumer on my dime.

Putting aside for the moment all the various attitude aspects of the current norteamericanas, virtually no response/interest from anyone fertile on the standard english language sites like match, Okcupid or pof, so here I am.

I live in San Diego and I can't help but think there has to be someone offering a reputable Tijuana/Baja matchmaking service but so far nobody that has earned my trust.

I think I'm looking for a woman in her mid 30s, probably already a mom, someone who values work, self discipline and delayed gratification more than self indulgence.  Ideally she would enjoy being a housewife and a full time mother for a while, although eventually she would want to put her own oars in the economic river to help row the boat.

Any suggestions on Tijuana/Baja options, or do I just need to let go of being dad again or what?

All constructive wisdom is welcome.

[bcc_1_2]

but ultimately way lacking intellectual curiosity and overly interested in fully expressing her inner consumer on my dime.

Well it sounds like the coast of Colombia is right for you. 

I'm joking of course. You want to be intellectually stimulated as well. To me that screams an educated professional in her 30s or 40s that you can relate to. Could it be found in Bogota? Sure probably. DF? Yea. You just need to go where the schools and jobs are.

[robert angel]

Do you really want to be in your 70's, still waiting up for the kids to come home at night or maybe pushing 80 while they're still in college? Not saying it's awful,  in fact it might be noble and personally satisfying in some ways. Perhaps it might sound selfish,  but I'd rather imagine our kids being done with college, them being  fairly self sufficient and me being close to 60 y/o and retired,  but my wife and I actively enjoying traveling, perhaps taking or leaving paid work and/or volunteer work at will,  just calling our own shots. One of the kids maybe going on to medical school, but will still be pretty independent, aside from needing occasional cash infusions.

"Money isn't everything,  but it sure keeps the kids in touch"

We are fortunate to have good health now,  but we've seen too many people have sad,  sudden downturns in their physical health. Our lives have been---they actually are good,  with events,  activities and adventures enjoyed. We're not wealthy, but we hope that God willing and health provided,  to without tuning out completely,  spending the next 30 or so years enjoying ourselves more and worrying about family and job situations less!

[articulatefit]

Yes, I really prefer investment in additional genetic half copies of myself to the various other less restrictive later life options.  My family genetics and my own good habits are likely to see me in good health into my 90s.  This is a very conscious direction.  AND I do now recognize that I can get intellectual stimulation from many places, but a woman of warmth and compassion that comes with a willing working womb is far more compelling.  As a newbie here, please help me understand the reference to the Colombian coast.  Thank you for responding.

[mambocowboy]

Yes, I really prefer investment in additional genetic half copies of myself to the various other less restrictive later life options.  My family genetics and my own good habits are likely to see me in good health into my 90s.  This is a very conscious direction.  AND I do now recognize that I can get intellectual stimulation from many places, but a woman of warmth and compassion that comes with a willing working womb is far more compelling.  As a newbie here, please help me understand the reference to the Colombian coast.  Thank you for responding.

The Colombian coast isn't where you'd go looking for an intellectual woman, generally speaking. However, they are known as more hogarena than the generally more worldly bogotanas or paisas from Medellin. It,s not easy to find an intellectual woman also interested in putting her career on hold to have a child but a few on this forum have done so. I too live in San Diego but am not aware of any matchmaking service in Baja. But imagine amigos, badoo, or mexicaacupid could be starting points if you haven't already done so... Good luck articulatefit

[InnocentVixen]

ultimately way lacking intellectual curiosity and overly interested in fully expressing her inner consumer on my dime.

Hello neighbor

I don't think you should settle for anything less than you want, it's actually an advantage that you want children, most latinas would want at least one with their husband even if they had one already.

You might want to widen your age restrictions, plenty of mature and interesting girls out there in their late 20's, it's not rare for them to be single mothers or even divorced. Nothing wrong if they don't have children, that is a good sign in my book, less complicated too. If you are attractive and interesting you won't have trouble finding candidates.

What are your interests? it's so refreshing to hear someone looking more than just a "hot latina"(colombianas) or a "sweet traditional wife"(philippinas)

Now I have bad news for you... women like to spend money, even a cheapskate like me enjoys buying clothes on regular basis. My husband often asks "another dress?" yet whenever he checks the bank account he finds a lot more than he assumed there would be, so he is not afraid of me going shopping or ordering something online. So find one you are not afraid to give your card to.

Would you like to live in the states or here?

[bcc_1_2]

The coast of Colombia thing was a joke. Don't go there.

[bcc_1_2]

I got a bud headed down to DF. Should be interesting to see how it goes. Condesa all day. That's the spot.

[fathertime]

The coast of Colombia thing was a joke. Don't go there.

YOU have NO reason to be such a jackass.  You have never been to the coast of Colombia and really shouldn't be talking much at all about it, let alone take a strong position against it's ladies. 

I live in San Diego and I can't help but think there has to be someone offering a reputable Tijuana/Baja matchmaking service but so far nobody that has earned my trust.
 

Well I don't know why nobody has earned your trust.  What you are proposing isn't going may not be easy if you aren't meeting ladies!, So if an organization is offering to introduce you to ladies, I'd take a look, and meet some women.  The worst likely result is that you won't like each other, not a big deal. Perhaps they will have a friend or sister or someone you do like.   


If you don't like what you are coming up with, then try another region...LIKE THE COLOMBIAN COAST, among other places.  There are lots of attractive ladies that would likely meet all the criteria you mentioned...but getting on your horse and finding one that will go with your program is what you gotta get going on.

I think I'm looking for a woman in her mid 30s, probably already a mom, someone who values work, self discipline and delayed gratification more than self indulgence.  Ideally she would enjoy being a housewife and a full time mother for a while, although eventually she would want to put her own oars in the economic river to help row the boat.

Any suggestions on Tijuana/Baja options, or do I just need to let go of being dad again or what?

All constructive wisdom is welcome.

Well it is your life and decision...you know what an effort it might be to become a father again in your mid 50's.  If you believe that is what you want to do, and think you can make it work, then find yourself a lady and give it a go...


Fathertime! 

[bcc_1_2]

YOU have NO reason to be such a jackass.  You have never been to the coast of Colombia and really shouldn't be talking much at all about it, let alone take a strong position against it's ladies. 

Stop taking it personal. The guy was asking for something specific. Only select parts of Latin America are going to make sense for him. This isn't about you or your tastes but his. I was making it clear to him that I was joking so the man wouldn't book a trip to Cartagena looking for intellectuals.

[fathertime]

Stop taking it personal. The guy was asking for something specific. Only select parts of Latin America are going to make sense for him. This isn't about you or your tastes but his. I was making it clear to him that I was joking so the man wouldn't book a trip to Cartagena looking for intellectuals.

Yes I read what was written.  There are all types of ladies in Colombia along the coast and other parts. There was no need to single the region out, and act as if it is a bunch of dunderheads living there...that is not the case.  Barranquilla/Cartagena is one of many viable options.  Oh, now that I think of it, here is a link to what MAY be a helpful website full of women:   [size=78%]http://latin-wife.com/[/size]     


In addition to this, here is what was written:

   AND I do now recognize that I can get intellectual stimulation from many places, but a woman of warmth and compassion that comes with a willing working womb is far more compelling. 

It doesn't sound to me like the man was looking for a scholarly woman-of-the-world intellectual first and foremost...so it appears to me that you are just reading what you WANT to read, and ignoring what the guy was seeking.   


Fathertime! 

[bcc_1_2]

 Barranquilla/Cartagena is one of many viable options.

For many guys yes. For this guy... not likely.

The only exception would be if he is searching online and is taking the one woman approach.. That could send him anywhere. But otherwise you go where the pond is stocked with what you are looking for.

[fathertime]

For many guys yes. For this guy... not likely.

The only exception would be if he is searching online and is taking the one woman approach.. That could send him anywhere. But otherwise you go where the pond is stocked with what you are looking for.

Once again...YOU have never been to Barranquilla/Cartagena...you really don't know what you are talking about....you have barely been to Colombia at all...Why you would feel the need to talk it down is very odd.  You feel you know the greatest places to meet 'intellectual women'...fine go ahead and mention them, you didn't find a woman in these places but, if you feel it would work for somebody else then make the case without acting like other places don't have great women too.  ....there is no need to paint with a broad brush how the ladies are in places you have never been...


In addition to all that...do you know this guy?  How do you know what he is looking for?  Based on what he has said so far, your comments are senseless and feed right into your previous biases and anti Coastal-Colombia.  It is ridiculous and not helpful.   Reading what he wrote I would definitely leave Coastal Colombia on the table as an option to take a look, plenty of these ladies have a curiosity, especially if they have a man that stimulates that part of them....

.  AND I do now recognize that I can get intellectual stimulation from many places, but a woman of warmth and compassion that comes with a willing working womb is far more compelling.   .

once again here is what I read and apparently you did not.  Many coastal ladies could both be interested in him, AND meet his expectations/requirements.   


Fathertime!   

[benjio]

I have probably made more negative generalizations about Costenas than anyone else on this board, but even I know there are a wide and diverse variety of women on the coast of Colombia. I think BCC has a very bad habit of letting the women on Jamie's Site be the foundation of what his impression of women in that area of Latin America are like. Up to and including how attractive women are there. That's simply not fair, and even on Jamie's Site you can find all types of women from every socio-economic background you can think of. My last girlfriend, although born in Barrancabermeja, spent most of her life in Barranquilla and had a Master's degree in Business Administration. During my first trip there I met in between 30 and 35 girls. One was a nurse that was a fluent English speaker (translator took the afternoon off). Another was a very succesful lawyer that worked for the Department of Atlantico, and another, at only 26 years old, was a veteranarian. Taking the fact that we're only talking about a sample size of 30 women, I'd say that's not bad. One of the largest and most prestigious universities in Colombia is in Barranquilla. All the women that study there aren't just up and leaving the city as soon as they graduate. Anyone who's considering Colombia as a place they'd like to meet women and their level of education is important would obviously probably find a greater selection of potential mates in Bogota. But to rule out an entire region of a country...

[InnocentVixen]

Come on fathertime, most people around here think mexicanas are a bunch of short fat ugly women who don't know how to read an analog clock and I don't take it personal... well, maybe the short part since I am short and I do wish I as taller sometimes.


For what is worth, I think it makes sense that whatever match making service he has found around here has not gained his trust. I heard of one in Tijuana that considering using at some point but it sounded fishy, wouldn't be surprised if they just use prostitutes as the meeting environment is a party.


Here in Ensenada I heard of a service for locals, nothing related to gringo's but I met someone who gave it a try, he told me it was mostly people with very disturbing backgrounds who wanted to find someone who "does not care about the past" and he never looked back, I didn't even imagine there was such people here, that should show you the sort of pretty pink bubble I've lived in my whole life.


Articulate, I wouldn't be surprised you end up in jamies (colombian agency) before you even make it down here, no shame in it, a lot of men do just that.


Have you considered the holy grail of attractive intellectual women? (Russia) they might be a bit on the pale side, but could be exactly what you are looking for.

[articulatefit]

Thank you all for your thoughts so far.  Mucho gusto Sra. InnocentVixen, tu Ingles parece mucho mejor de mi Espanol.  Saludos a tu esposo afortunado. Por razones de mi carrera, necesito vivir norte de la frontera, a lo menos hasta que tengo independencia financial.  Me dan esperanza oir que hay mujeres que posiblemente van a tener interes en mi y en ser parte del clase del equipo/familia que quiero construir.  Si estoy abierto a una mujer mas joven de 30, pero es importante que podemos respetar a cada uno por valores y metas compartidos, no solo por mi carerra y su cuerpo y cara.   And yes, as much as I tend toward the fun frugality of MrMoneyMustache.com, I appreciate that the feminine woman I prefer will need some budget for creative expression.  As for Colombia, Jamie Morrow & I have had a number of conversations and while I'm sure there would be good choices, between my career and parenting commitments during vacations, I'm just not gonna be able to block out the time required to work his program down there for another 5 years.  But he may be willing to help me search in Baja.  Sra. InnocentVixen, would you know any bilingual women in Baja who would be interested in helping with a local search project?  I'm gonna get down to TJ next week some time to walk around and talk to women aka market research, probably around the university.  Or if there is anyone with real personal experience with matchmaking here I'd Love to hear about specifics.

[articulatefit]

"Pale" just doesn't do it for me . . .

[benjio]

Have you considered the holy grail of attractive intellectual women? (Russia) they might be a bit on the pale side, but could be exactly what you are looking for.

I've been reading and participating in discussions about foreign marriage for about 10 years now. I have yet to hear a happy ending about any American Man that brought an Eastern European or Russian Woman to the states from their home countries. For some reason those relationships usually fall apart. I have no idea why that is. I'm sure there are exceptions, but it doesn't seem like there are many. Anyone with any insight on Russian Women?

[fathertime]

Come on fathertime, most people around here think mexicanas are a bunch of short fat ugly women who don't know how to read an analog clock and I don't take it personal... well, maybe the short part since I am short and I do wish I as taller sometimes.


For what is worth, I think it makes sense that whatever match making service he has found around here has not gained his trust. I heard of one in Tijuana that considering using at some point but it sounded fishy, wouldn't be surprised if they just use prostitutes as the meeting environment is a party.


Here in Ensenada I heard of a service for locals, nothing related to gringo's but I met someone who gave it a try, he told me it was mostly people with very disturbing backgrounds who wanted to find someone who "does not care about the past" and he never looked back, I didn't even imagine there was such people here, that should show you the sort of pretty pink bubble I've lived in my whole life.


Articulate, I wouldn't be surprised you end up in jamies (colombian agency) before you even make it down here, no shame in it, a lot of men do just that.


Have you considered the holy grail of attractive intellectual women? (Russia) they might be a bit on the pale side, but could be exactly what you are looking for.

 
Well IV obviously Mexican ladies are good looking too, so dispelling false statements about them is welcome….especially if the statements are coming from a guy who was never even there.  That is where I'm coming from regarding the group of ladies in coastal Colombia.


Be that as it may, if the man is unable to block out some time for Colombia, then sticking to Mexico sames reasonable enough...Maybe it is more difficult for a guy in his 50's to find a viable young lady in Mexico, for what he is proposing....if that is what he finds, then he can expand his options down the line.


Fathertime!   

[bcc_1_2]

But he may be willing to help me search in Baja. 

 

Is your screen name a misprint? If you want dates with hot Mexican chicks go get them.

As for BAQ, Cartagena, Santa Marta, etc... the jobs and the education hubs are in Bogota. If this guy even wants to go to Colombia... based on what he says he is looking for... he should go to a place that has the pond stocked. Bogota is way more stocked with what this particular poster wants. That's just how it is. The same goes for Mexico. Telling this guy to go to BAQ over BOG would be just as irresponsible as telling him to go to Merida over DF.

[fathertime]

Is your screen name a misprint? If you want dates with hot Mexican chicks go get them.

As for BAQ, Cartagena, Santa Marta, etc... the jobs and the education hubs are in Bogota. If this guy even wants to go to Colombia... based on what he says he is looking for... he should go to a place that has the pond stocked. Bogota is way more stocked with what this particular poster wants. That's just how it is. The same goes for Mexico. Telling this guy to go to BAQ over BOG would be just as irresponsible as telling him to go to Merida over DF.

It was YOU that brought the coast of Colombia into this discussion in a derogatory way. A place you have NEVER been to, but constantly talk about.   
 The man was asking for general information and the first thing he hears twice from you is “Don’t visit the coast of Colombia” It is a stupid and irresponsible statement by YOU. It sounds like this guy knows the score, but what you said was anything but trying to be helpful.    There are intelligent and attractive ladies there that are still motivated enough to look past large age differences.  There are also dumb and beautiful ladies, and smart and ugly ones…pretty much whatever you are looking for.  Based on what he has said thus far, the coast of Colombia could be just as good as anywhere else, aside from the fact that he has mentioned he doesn’t have time to travel too far from home.   Aside for you intense dislike of Jamie, I have no ideal why you would continue to go out on a limb to talk down about places and ladies you have never met….a place where numerous others on this website have BEEN TO, enjoyed and met great women from.

All in all, he wants to look in Mexico which may be a fine idea too if he can find a suitable woman that will accept him despite his somewhat advanced age. 

Fathertime! 

[bcc_1_2]

All in all, he wants to look in Mexico which may be a fine idea too if he can find a suitable woman that will accept him despite his somewhat advanced age. 

LOL, is your personal experience seeping into your comments. Why can't an older guy date in Mexico? As a guy living next to Baja Mexico and a stud with the Latinas... why don't you share your expertise with these ladies. Grabbing the popcorn now...

[fathertime]

LOL, is your personal experience seeping into your comments. Why can't an older guy date in Mexico? As a guy living next to Baja Mexico and a stud with the Latinas... why don't you share your expertise with these ladies. Grabbing the popcorn now...

It sounds like you are upset because you have been rightfully called out again! hahah Good! 


Who said I was a stud with the latina's?  Who said an older guy can't date in Mexico?   These are YOUR comments.  I say let the man see if he can find a woman in Mexico that meets his criteria.


 You were such a 'young stud' that you ran off to Honduras (poorest country in hemisphere aside from Haiti) after the Colombian ladies read you like a kindergarten book, and  turned their collective noses up to you....and now you 'advise' older guys to venture only in 'affluent' areas to find willing ladies from....laughable considering....




Fathertime!   

[the_ace33]

Articulatefit, my compliments on your Spanish.  I am going to have to say that I agree with Fathertime on this one even though I think he is a little too defensive about the subject of costenas.  I think they are a proud bunch of hot and sweaty soccer lovers!  Go Barranquilla! 

[articulatefit]

Yah, I must not be as articulate as I thought if I gave anyone the impression that I want to sport [snip] a buncha hot latin chicks.  Back to what I'm really looking for, let me try again: I will lead a long term committed partnership with an appreciative, Loving, capable, healthy, intelligent, beautiful, feminine fertile woman who enjoys being tenderly cherished and passionately ravished by me as we build a family together.  My interests were asked about earlier: I enjoy reading (majority nonfiction), sailing, hiking, camping, sex, learning, free weight strength training, leadership/coaching/mentoring, building financial independence ... did I mention sex and reading? ... Constraints include a professional and parenting calendar that precludes extended travel.  The biggest opportunity I see is the proximity of the single women of Baja, MX and the possibility of meeting in person.  But maybe I'm being narrow minded, are there any reputable websites that are known to be the root of the path to any successful/ongoing marriages?  I appreciate Philipinas also... All constructive ideas are welcome.