What Are The Risks of Meeting A Woman Like This

[benjio]

To guys down there it wouldn't matter. They would buy her some toys, have some fun and then on to the next babe. Hump and dump.

It's not only fun and games with some Latin American Men and their younger women. I know Latinos in their 50's SOTB that are dating/married to 17-25 year olds. The difference is cultural. Many Latinos are much more comfortable taking the role of a father figure with their significant others. Some of these girls are just baby factories that cook and clean because they're too young, uneducated and naive to do anything. The men take care of everything else....EVERYTHING! American, European and Canadian Men are usually looking for more of an equal. Not a girl they have to take care of, but a woman to build a family and a household with. Many Latinos I know are perfectly content with their women not giving them any type of mental stimulation. We usually look for a woman that we can talk to. Someone that shares some common interest. As much as a friend as a lover and partner. That's kind of difficult with a woman so young regardless of your age. When I met my first Colombian Girlfriend she was only 19 or 20. Although I was only 28, she was leaps and bounds away from my level of maturity and ultimately she wasn't ready for marriage or a family.


Regardless of what happened with her request I agree with BCC in the sense that in the end it probably wouldn't have worked because of her age. The only women I've met in Latin America that are that young and have a comparable level of maturity are single mothers. And let's face it....most of us would rather not date a woman that already has children.       

[Awesome]

Why do you guys keep saying how a long term relationship wouldn't have worked?  LR SPECIFICALLY SAID HE WASN'T LOOKING FOR A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP, nor was he looking for a sugar daddy relationship.  All he wanted was a quick fling.  The problem with that is I'm 100% sure that this 19 year old girl was NOT looking for a quick, casual fling.


Yes, from what lr described, he probably could've gone to see her and had some great sex and romance with her,  BUT once he gets what he wants from her and eventually dumps her, the poor girl would've been devastated and heartbroken and he would end up feeling like a major jerk.  I know because I've been through that exact scenario more times than I'd like to admit.


The ONLY (very sleazy) strategy that I know of that could possibly be applied to this situation is the "pay them to leave" technique.  Lr could go down have a great passion filled week with her and then once he gets back home and breaks her heart into a million pieces by revealing to her that there's no chance at a long-term relationship, he can THEN send her some money/expensive gifts to ease her pain and ease his guilty concsience.  I've used that strategy a few times and it kind of, sort of works.


I think lr did the honorable thing by coming clean and not playing around with her emotions just so he could get a quick thrill.

[robert angel]

Why do you guys keep saying how a long term relationship wouldn't have worked? 

It's foolish to even guess. Only time will tell. In my situation, given our age difference and what a salty dog I am, I wouldn't have given the marriage I'm in now much of a chance of lasting this long--going on ten years. And 98% of it's been superfine--can't think of any guy on earth who just based on the kind of person she is, could've done better. But damned if I would've said any of that going in!

It's so easy to second guess, backseat drive and armchair quarterback. I could spend the rest of my life thinking about what I could've and should've done and how I've f---ked up plenty of perfect steel I beam type situations in my time, but I might get distracted and run over by a truck.

Live, don't ruminate!

[LunaRey]

I know large age differences can work. In this case, I would be committing the exact wrong quoted in the Bob Marley graphic that Awesome posted above.

Only intensified by the long distance, I think. Better to sleep alone with a clear conscience than with someone and be tortured by guilt. 

   

[Elexpatriado]

The ONLY (very sleazy) strategy that I know of that could possibly be applied to this situation is the "pay them to leave" technique.  Lr could go down have a great passion filled week with her and then once he gets back home and breaks her heart into a million pieces by revealing to her that there's no chance at a long-term relationship, he can THEN send her some money/expensive gifts to ease her pain and ease his guilty concsience.  I've used that strategy a few times and it kind of, sort of works.

Why go through all that trouble? Just fart a lot in bed until she leaves you...

[robert angel]

Why do you guys keep saying how a long term relationship wouldn't have worked?  LR SPECIFICALLY SAID HE WASN'T LOOKING FOR A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP, nor was he looking for a sugar daddy relationship.  All he wanted was a quick fling.  The problem with that is I'm 100% sure that this 19 year old girl was NOT looking for a quick, casual fling.


Yes, from what lr described, he probably could've gone to see her and had some great sex and romance with her,  BUT once he gets what he wants from her and eventually dumps her, the poor girl would've been devastated and heartbroken and he would end up feeling like a major jerk.  I know because I've been through that exact scenario more times than I'd like to admit.


The ONLY (very sleazy) strategy that I know of that could possibly be applied to this situation is the "pay them to leave" technique.  Lr could go down have a great passion filled week with her and then once he gets back home and breaks her heart into a million pieces by revealing to her that there's no chance at a long-term relationship, he can THEN send her some money/expensive gifts to ease her pain and ease his guilty concsience.  I've used that strategy a few times and it kind of, sort of works.


I think lr did the honorable thing by coming clean and not playing around with her emotions just so he could get a quick thrill.

Yea, it is sleazy. Most women I've been intimate with would be highly insulted if I did such a thing. Even if they could use help with the rent, a new phone-whatever, they'd feel like paid prostitutes. Not all--there was one woman who after we pretty much parted ways thought that relaying her desperate situation financially was a way to keep communication going. It wasn't.

She found a wealthy Brit, who not too long after marrying her, divorced her, leaving her unable to remarry in her country unless she waited seven years, and even then only if the church and govt both approved an expensive annulment--something few people there can afford. It costs as much as some USA divorces and they're lucky to make a tenth of what most people in the USA make.

[fathertime]

 


I think lr did the honorable thing by coming clean and not playing around with her emotions just so he could get a quick thrill.

Good point.


Fathertime!   

[Calipro]

I think lr did the honorable thing by coming clean and not playing around with her emotions just so he could get a quick thrill.

Nothing quick and easy about going to a foreign country just to bed one women.


Every woman I ever lived with or married was a quick thrill or so I thought at the time. The only way I have ever found to separate the quick thrills from the long term relationships was to bed them and spend time with them.....and if they aren't putting out I don't think I would be spending that much time with them.


The girl might be young but I think she knows the score.

[Ray]

She found a wealthy Brit, who not too long after marrying her, divorced her, leaving her unable to remarry in her country unless she waited seven years, and even then only if the church and govt both approved an expensive annulment--something few people there can afford.

I don't know where you get your information, but none of this stuff is correct.

First, if the foreign spouse is the one who divorced her, then she is certainly allowed to remarry under Philippine law. A legal annulment is not required.

Second, there is no such thing as a 7-year waiting period prescribed before a Filipino can obtain a legal annulment of marriage and then remarry.

Third, a legal annulment in the Philippines has nothing to do with a Catholic Church annulment. They are separate actions entirely. A Filipino whose marriage is annulled under Philippine law is free to remarry under Philippine civil law regardless of whether or not there was a Church annulment.


Ray

[robert angel]

I don't know where you get your information, but none of this stuff is correct.

First, if the foreign spouse is the one who divorced her, then she is certainly allowed to remarry under Philippine law. A legal annulment is not required.

Second, there is no such thing as a 7-year waiting period prescribed before a Filipino can obtain a legal annulment of marriage and then remarry.

Third, a legal annulment in the Philippines has nothing to do with a Catholic Church annulment. They are separate actions entirely. A Filipino whose marriage is annulled under Philippine law is free to remarry under Philippine civil law regardless of whether or not there was a Church annulment.


Ray

So you're saying NONE of this is correct?--So she married a foreigner IN the Catholic church IN the Philippines and as he divorced her as an able bodied, able minded non criminal male, the Filipina can go ahead and remarry in the Philippines?

Of course there are differences between church requirements and procedures compared to civil--they are supposed to be separate entities, but you're saying these are totally separate and have no bearing on one another in the case of annulment in the Philippines?

You seem to indicate that in terms of an annulment that church and civil elements have zero bearing on one another in determination if a Filipina is able to remarry after divorce.

Virtually all sources I read indicate that the Philippines is the last --actually the only country left on earth (if you don't count the Vatican as a country) where divorce remains illegal. They also indicate that annulments are a lengthily and difficult process.

I did some research and found that sometimes a time period of two to four years is allowed.--that the much bandied about 'seven year' period isn't an actual 'set in stone' requirement. Other sources say longer, some say occasionally a bit less. Almost all say for most people the expense and trouble is prohibitive--perhaps that's why in a country of over 100 million people, only 10,000 or so people even try to obtain an annulment. Here's a recent article that seems to indicate otherwise:


http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/worlds-last-legal-ban-on-divorce-doesnt-keep-philippines-couples-together/2014/10/09/d391c54c-4418-11e4-b437-1a7368204804_story.html

This source says the separation period required is only five years.

http://dadsdivorce.com/articles/philippines-land-no-divorce-laws/

http://www.dailyrepublic.com/features/religion/divorce-ban-shows-catholic-church-power-in-philippines/

[Ray]

Yes. NONE of that was correct.

[robert angel]

I don't know where you get your information, but none of this stuff is correct.

First, if the foreign spouse is the one who divorced her, then she is certainly allowed to remarry under Philippine law. A legal annulment is not required.

Second, there is no such thing as a 7-year waiting period prescribed before a Filipino can obtain a legal annulment of marriage and then remarry.

Third, a legal annulment in the Philippines has nothing to do with a Catholic Church annulment. They are separate actions entirely. A Filipino whose marriage is annulled under Philippine law is free to remarry under Philippine civil law regardless of whether or not there was a Church annulment.


Ray

So you're saying NONE of this is correct?--So she married a foreigner IN the Catholic church IN the Philippines and as he divorced her as an able bodied, able minded non criminal male, the Filipina can go ahead and remarry in the Philippines?

Of course there are differences between church requirements and procedures compared to civil--they are supposed to be separate entities, but you're saying these are totally separate and have no bearing on one another in the case of annulment in the Philippines?

You seem to indicate that in terms of an annulment that church and civil elements have zero bearing on one another in determination if a Filipina is able to remarry after divorce.

Virtually all sources I read indicate that the Philippines is the last --actually the only country left on earth (if you don't count the Vatican as a country) where divorce remains illegal. They also indicate that annulments are a lengthily and difficult process.

I did some research and found that sometimes a time period of two to four years is allowed.--that the much bandied about 'seven year' period isn't an actual 'set in stone' requirement. Other sources say longer, some say occasionally a bit less. Almost all say for most people the expense and trouble is prohibitive--perhaps that's why in a country of over 100 million people, only 10,000 or so people even try to obtain an annulment. Here's a recent article that seems to indicate otherwise:


http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/worlds-last-legal-ban-on-divorce-doesnt-keep-philippines-couples-together/2014/10/09/d391c54c-4418-11e4-b437-1a7368204804_story.html

This source says the separation period required is only five years.

http://dadsdivorce.com/articles/philippines-land-no-divorce-laws/

http://www.dailyrepublic.com/features/religion/divorce-ban-shows-catholic-church-power-in-philippines/

Yes. NONE of that was correct.

I don't think that anybody who spends 5 or 10 minutes looking on-line at respected sources would agree with you that none of it is correct. But everyone can make their own opinion however they want, quite obviously.

[bernard]

Every woman I ever lived with or married was a quick thrill or so I thought at the time. The only way I have ever found to separate the quick thrills from the long term relationships was to bed them and spend time with them.....and if they aren't putting out I don't think I would be spending that much time with them.

Rolling my eyes....yawn

[Ray]

I don't think that anybody who spends 5 or 10 minutes looking on-line at respected sources would agree with you that none of it is correct. But everyone can make their own opinion however they want, quite obviously.

No Robert, it's not my OPINION, just FACTS.

If you spend your 10 or 15 minutes looking at Philippine law, instead of dumb articles in US newspapers, you might actually learn something.

For anyone out there who is interested in knowing the real facts, and not just what appears in Robert's made-up drama stories, may I suggest that you look up The Family Code of the Philippines and start reading at Art. 26.

http://www.chanrobles.com/executiveorderno209.htm#.VPjDGUA5B9A


Ray

[bernard]

No Robert, it's not my OPINION, just FACTS.

If you spend your 10 or 15 minutes looking at Philippine law, instead of dumb articles in US newspapers, you might actually learn something.

For anyone out there who is interested in knowing the real facts, and not just what appears in Robert's made-up drama stories, may I suggest that you look up The Family Code of the Philippines and start reading at Art. 26.

http://www.chanrobles.com/executiveorderno209.htm#.VPjDGUA5B9A


Ray

rolling my eyes....yawn....I think I'd rather read about how Calipro has been "bedding" Colombian women all these years....on second thought, forget it.

[fathertime]

Nothing quick and easy about going to a foreign country just to bed one women.


Every woman I ever lived with or married was a quick thrill or so I thought at the time. The only way I have ever found to separate the quick thrills from the long term relationships was to bed them and spend time with them.....and if they aren't putting out I don't think I would be spending that much time with them.

I can see the reasoning here.  I imagine there are a percentage of ladies that are simply looking for a good time and are happy enough to leave it at that.   

The girl might be young but I think she knows the score.

In this particular case LunaRey was referencing a gal of 19 years.  I'd say some 19 year olds *even in Colombia* don't REALLY know the score, or all the moves.    I think if it were me, I think I'd go easy, and move forward, if I thought there was a real chance (assuming that is what she was looking for).....I say that here (in theory) but put in the situation, and having a willing sexy babe in front of me and who knows how it turns out.  Me and my bald head didn't hit the bars too much so I didn't have to worry so much about babes putting me in that pickle.      Overall it sounds like a good 'problem' to have though!   


Fathertime! 

[Calipro]

I can see the reasoning here.  I imagine there are a percentage of ladies that are simply looking for a good time and are happy enough to leave it at that.   



In this particular case LunaRey was referencing a gal of 19 years.  I'd say some 19 year olds *even in Colombia* don't REALLY know the score, or all the moves.    I think if it were me, I think I'd go easy, and move forward, if I thought there was a real chance (assuming that is what she was looking for).....I say that here (in theory) but put in the situation, and having a willing sexy babe in front of me and who knows how it turns out.  Me and my bald head didn't hit the bars too much so I didn't have to worry so much about babes putting me in that pickle.      Overall it sounds like a good 'problem' to have though!   


Fathertime!

I understand your point of view.....but from where I'm standing I don't see a lot of difference between self professed "wife hunters" and players down here.


Plenty of wife hunters sleep around a lot down here and never get married and quite of few guys that had no intentions of getting married do and or end up living with women long term.


The guy that started this thread seems like a push over to me.....and just the type to fall for some chick and bring her back to the states....even if he really believes he isn't interested in a serious relationship.


I don't know about Panama but most 19 year olds in Colombia certainly know how to attract, seduce and ultimately exert an incredible about of influence over their target.
If I were a betting man I'd put my money on the 19 year old getting more of what she wants out of this guy than the other way around.

[bernard]

The guy that started this thread seems like a push over to me.....and just the type to fall for some chick and bring her back to the states....even if he really believes he isn't interested in a serious

Don't think anyone would argue wiith you on that, since you've done it at least 3 times....so your experience speaks volumnes...of course all 3 crashed and burned...you sure know how to "bed" them...just dont't have what it takes to keep them.  And I won't bring up,the girls you lived with in cali,,and then they cheated on you and at least one got pregnant with another man's baby while,you in the states....hence the "pro" in calipro...lmao

[buencamino]

In the pueblos yes but I don't think you'll find many 19 year olds in the cities who want to get married at least I haven't run accross any. There's always the exception of course but new guys should keep that in mind and not waste time courting a teenager. For purposes other than marriage though sure absolutely!

[vikingo]

@Luna Rey, just caught on to this thread. Though I have a huge problem that she was willing to date 60 year olds, (30 to 40 would have made more sense), I would persue this relationship, especially since she won't be asking you for material things in the next three weeks (sarcasm) which is a big problem over here. She knows now where she stands, about you overwhelming her with presents. I have lived off and on in Panamá and Colombia for the last ten years. An attractive Panamanian woman is a rare find unless her roots are in Colombia. She doesn't seem to be poor, her going to buy a backpack is just conversation, not an insinuation for you to buy it as they are relatively inexpensive in Panamá (compared to Colombia). It might also be the case that she would like to show off at the university with a backpack that noone else has. About Victoria Secret, she isn't necesarily implying to buy her underware (to get her the right size is always a hit or mis affair, for me anyway), what these girls go crazy over is VS perfume and VS body splash. I bought for my girl 5 bottles of different flavors splash and 2 bottles of parfume for $35 at a VS store at my last trip to the US, because it's not avaiable here. LA women know and expect her gringo will not come with empty hands and rather you buying stuff she can take or leave all she did is giving you a hint at what to get her. Don't forget to get a smal present for her mom and sisters or any kids in the imediate family, it's customary. Now in Colón, one hour by train from Panamá City is a very large duty free shopping complex called Zona Libre, especially for electronics like computers with fantastic prices, maybe equal to US prices?.
She might have thought electronics are more reasonable yet in the US. Anyway, all of these girls think Americans have tons of money and sometimes they are testing a man if she would marry a real miser. In Colombia it's a different story, there are many, many foracious women who will strip you of your last dollar if you let them. It seems like everyone of them needs economic help, more so if they have children, unless you get your foot into the higher estratos, like 5 or 6. Also be aware, if a woman is childless, all she can think of is having a child, especially with an exotic (to her) foreigner which is more likely to take care of her child no matter what happens than a local. So make sure you like children.
Obviously you will notice lots of imaturity in her but it is up to you to educate her and form her to your liking if you want to make long range plans with her. Don't let her age scare you off. For a decent looking and well mannered 40 year old, a succesful long term relationship or marriage with a 20 year old is highly likely with a LA woman, unlike in the US or Europe. They feel if they get a man in their age group he will eventually stray like all Latin men do, with very few exceptions. Infidelity is the biggest nightmare of almost every latina. They also are aware that they age sooner then men. She seems to be hopelessly in love with you at this stage, not a bad position to be in. I would definetely meet her in person. If it doesn't work out and you can't find anyone else in Panama to you liking, set your sights on Colombia.
40 year olds are highly sought after in this part of the world by women of any age as your competion here are retired gringos in their 50' and 60' sometimes 70ties.
Remember these women are coached by their parents and their girl friends and some of their ideas go against our grain. It is up to us to train them properly and get them on the right track. You already got a good start.
Bringing her back to the States with that age difference would be a fatal mistake though, the competion you would be faced with is overwhelming and she would get sassy to say the least and you won't get much support from this board if you're contemplating a long distance relationship.

[robert angel]

Whenever I go overseas to 3rd world nations, always pack some Victoria's Secret perfumes and lotions. They are ridiculously cheap during their bi annual sales (next one's in June) and I think it's appropriate, modest enough and immensely appreciated typically.

[robert angel]

I feel a lot better bringing modest gifts when they're not really expected. A lot of women will give you a whole list of things they want and in that case, I advise running away.

[Gato4Astrid]

I love giving girls gifts but I do not like them to EXPECT any gifts from me.  Once a girl expects me to buy her gifts it is goodbye to her regardless what gifts are they. 

[utopiacowboy]

I feel a lot better bringing modest gifts when they're not really expected. A lot of women will give you a whole list of things they want and in that case, I advise running away.

I didn't bring my wife squat when I visited Colombia even after we got married. Of course she does say that I am amarado but not as bad as her sister's husband who is a real tightwad.

[Fuzzyone]

Rolling my eyes....yawn

  Hey Calipro any guess who this might be? I will give you a hint he only shows up when you post here.