Just returned from a trip to visit a nice girl...

[robert angel]

Thanks, Robert!


 At the very least, I got a good vacation. 


AW

That's the kind of thinking that keeps us from really dogging ourselves down!

[Researcher]

I would say at this stage in the game it is not the time to be worried too much about what she is thinking or whether or not what she is saying is true. Dating is about finding a woman you have chemistry with and finding out what she can bring to the table. Now is the time to be a selfish bastard. Once you do find that special lady and have some timeinvolved then it is time to put thought into things that are important.

[InnocentVixen]

She is probably being pressured by her family to "get you back" and that is why you are getting songs and poems now, ignore her, it might as well be her mother writing you.


I agree she is smart, kind of... she is looking her way out of a bad situation but is not willing to give up on love so she is looking for something she can work with (someone she gets along well, some chemistry) towards falling in love. By the sounds of it there was no chemistry with you but you are so nice she wants to keep you in back burner, quite bold for a girl in her position, if the pregnancy story is true that is.


So no, I don't think she is shy, a shy girl in her position would be devastated, not flirting online while on vacation with a complete stranger who she also met online!



My advice is, get over your white knight syndrome. Seriously, any drama or potential for it before meeting and move on, it's easier this way. Once you have met there shouldn't be too much drama either if any, if the attraction is mutual and you guys decide to give it a try that is.


Even the most shy girl on earth will smile if the guy she likes holds her hand or puts his arm around her, her eyes should sparkle when you flirt with her and after the first kiss or so, she should show displays of affection at least in private.


PS. if you are not good reading people, at the very least focus on women that do not need a translator or use an agency.

[Bob_S]

Let's put it this way, Lobo:
Guys on this forum who bitch and fight with each other all the time and wouldn't hesitate to spit in each other's beer are in unified chorus that this situation is far far too much drama, not worth the return on energy invested, and you need to stay the hell away from this woman.  Whatever little attention you may be getting out of it from her will ultimately only poison you.  Take our painfully earned advice so you don't need to learn it yourself the hard way.

[Fuzzyone]

 Shame on you BoB_S I would never spit in a guys beer! If I did not like him I would drink it first when he was not watching hehehe

[DRGUY1]

I would say at this stage in the game it is not the time to be worried too much about what she is thinking or whether or not what she is saying is true. Dating is about finding a woman you have chemistry with and finding out what she can bring to the table. Now is the time to be a selfish bastard. Once you do find that special lady and have some timeinvolved then it is time to put thought into things that are important.

Researcher, I think that is some very wise advice…For everyone, but especially the 2nd time around for us guys that have already been married.


It's really a simple equation when you break it down…What does she bring to the table, value to your life and is there enough chemistry to make it work long term.


Sound advice

[Awesome]

Please don't be afraid to ask.  If you have a question, please ask.  After all, you guys are helping me.  LOL



No.  I haven't been sending her money.  And she hasn't been asking for money.  The only time any money changed hands between us was when she needed a little bit for public transportation, so I gave her a little money to pay for the bus ride.


An update.  Now that I've confronted her about this again, she is sending me all kinds of things like music, images, and poems to express how she feels.  I can't help but think it feels a bit convenient for her to start showing feelings AFTER the trip is over.


And thanks for the advice, Fosgate.  I certainly feel there are red flags.  But there's another part of me that wants to think, "What if she's telling the truth and she's really just VERY shy?".  But with everything that's happened, and with everything I have read, I think that is very unlikely. 

This girl may be genuine.  I believe that with time the truth always comes out.  What do you have to lose?  Has she made any declarations about how she feels about you?  She hasn't asked for money, so that's a major PLUS.  And be careful about advice you receive from guys on a website that's geared towards men who are unsuccessful with women.  Especially be weary of any comments made by "calipro".  The guy's racked up at least 4 or 5 failed marriages and takes online courses on how to pick up cheap women.  He's got some serious emotional damage.


I say continue communicating with her and getting to know her.  Maybe you just become good friends or maybe she'll grow genuine feelings for you and her shyness will slowly subside.  There's only one way to find out.

[Elexpatriado]

I will give you the benefit of the doubt and say your not trolling..cuz I really dont think that someone can get kicks outta writing BS just to waste your own and everyones time. A little too much time and effort put into it and not funny or outrageous enough (unlike Gyoungers love affair with that old gringo living in Lima on LAC..LOL) to be a troll effort.

So once again I wonder why is a guy wasting his time with one woman?Should be dating dozens until 1 you are sure of rises to the top..this is regardless of whether they have kids or not..this is dependent on your personal preference..but going to a foreign country to meet just one woman you have been corresponding with is insanity

[kai #2]

Agreed. I couldn't be with a woman that didn't show any affection. hell I don't even need to be with a woman to not get affection.

If I were you, I'd move on.   I do not like women who do not show any affection or interests.


My 1st ever International dating, was the girl from Gomel, Belarus.   She was a great friend, but showed no affection at all.  After that, no more her!


MOVE ON........ and you will find someone else.....

[robert angel]

Hello, everyone!  Lobo here.  It's been a long time since I've posted.  I have a question about a situation I'm in.  I met a nice girl from Panama online.  We seemed to have a lot of the same interests.  She is in a situation where her boyfriend dumped her a few months ago because she is pregnant, and he didn't want a child.  She seems to be very kind and she seems very smart.  So after a couple of months of talking every day, we planned a trip in Panama at a nice resort so we could enjoy a vacation together.


I have returned recently from the vacation.  She is a wonderful girl.  She is kind and has a great sense of humor.  She is a pleasure to be with.  However, she has shown almost zero signs of affection.  I have tried things like holding her hand and putting my arm around her, but she doesn't show any interest in return.  We kissed once, but that was because I confronted her and asked her if she has any "romantic" interest in me, or if she just saw me as a friend.  After the kiss she said she is just shy... but then afterwards there was no sign of affection again... until the airport as I was about to leave.  At that point, I got a small hug.  When I asked again if she thinks of me as a possible romantic interest, she said she wants to "know more and know more people".  This scared me a bit.  I have put my focus only on her, and now it sounds like she said she wanted to meet other people.   and it must be a mistranslation (she doesn't know much English, and I don't When I admitted I was a bit depressed by this news, she said she didn't understand... that she never said she wanted to meet other people...know much Spanish, so we use a translator).  However, I looked at her profile on the dating site where we met (LatinAmericanCupid) without logging in... and noticed that she last logged in while we were in Panama together.  And two days later, she was on it again.  So I don't know what to think.


So is it possible that she's just shy?  Should I be concerned about what she said?  And should I be concerned that she was logged into the dating site while we were together?  I want to believe her, but this being a long distance relationship complicates matters.  So I thought I would come here and ask the pros.


Thanks for the advice everyone!


AW

Yes, she may be genuine--that is most likely genuinely uninterested in this guy. I'd rather piss into a stiff wind during an electrical storm than settle down with a gal like this.

[kai #2]

Honestly, if you have ask her questions like that you already lost, and stop putting all your eggs in one damned basket! There so many women out there to bug out about one. You didn't get a chance to meet any other women or what?

Hello, everyone!  Lobo here.  It's been a long time since I've posted.  I have a question about a situation I'm in.  I met a nice girl from Panama online.  We seemed to have a lot of the same interests.  She is in a situation where her boyfriend dumped her a few months ago because she is pregnant, and he didn't want a child.  She seems to be very kind and she seems very smart.  So after a couple of months of talking every day, we planned a trip in Panama at a nice resort so we could enjoy a vacation together.


I have returned recently from the vacation.  She is a wonderful girl.  She is kind and has a great sense of humor.  She is a pleasure to be with.  However, she has shown almost zero signs of affection.  I have tried things like holding her hand and putting my arm around her, but she doesn't show any interest in return.  We kissed once, but that was because I confronted her and asked her if she has any "romantic" interest in me, or if she just saw me as a friend.  After the kiss she said she is just shy... but then afterwards there was no sign of affection again... until the airport as I was about to leave.  At that point, I got a small hug.  When I asked again if she thinks of me as a possible romantic interest, she said she wants to "know more and know more people".  This scared me a bit.  I have put my focus only on her, and now it sounds like she said she wanted to meet other people.  When I admitted I was a bit depressed by this news, she said she didn't understand... that she never said she wanted to meet other people... and it must be a mistranslation (she doesn't know much English, and I don't know much Spanish, so we use a translator).  However, I looked at her profile on the dating site where we met (LatinAmericanCupid) without logging in... and noticed that she last logged in while we were in Panama together.  And two days later, she was on it again.  So I don't know what to think.


So is it possible that she's just shy?  Should I be concerned about what she said?  And should I be concerned that she was logged into the dating site while we were together?  I want to believe her, but this being a long distance relationship complicates matters.  So I thought I would come here and ask the pros.


Thanks for the advice everyone!


AW

[Awesome]

Yes, she may be genuine--that is most likely genuinely uninterested in this guy. I'd rather piss into a stiff wind during an electrical storm than settle down with a gal like this.

New developments have come to light since this original post you're just now replying to.  Try to keep up with the discussion, sir.


She is now sending him "songs, images, and poems to express how she feels".


My girlfriend of five years(recently broken up with) was downright rude to me when we first started going out.  She was 19 years old and the youngest of 10 siblings, basically a spoiled immature brat.  She'd never had a real boyfriend before and was clueless as to how to show any affection or even behave in any charming manner whatsoever.  For some odd reason I became enamored with her and I just accepted how she was at first while being determined to change her.  I remember it taking over 6 months of dating before we had sex and for the first two years of the relationship the sex was very bad.  I realized that she'd led a very sheltered, conservative life prior to us meeting.  Now, after the two years of bad sex and a few arguments due to her awkwardness and coldness she became extremely motivated in her affection towards me and in the bedroom.  She'd totally made a 180 degree turn.  These last three years I can say that she absolutely worships the ground I walk on.




Now this girl that AW is talking to may just have some social awkwardness that causes her to be so shy, for now.  She may still be capable of having feelings for him.  He hasn't given her any money and she hasn't asked for any.  If there's one thing I've learned about women is they can be extremely difficult to figure out.  They're full of contradictions and surprises.


Sometimes relationships that get off to a great start end up going straight into the trash can, and sometimes relationships that get off to a terrible start end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

[robert angel]

Nothing substantial has changed from what I've read. Last time I read up on this, I think she's trying to play him. Anyway, the guy 'Artic Wolf' hasn't been here since last month....

[Awesome]

Last time I read up on this, I think she's trying to play him.

"Play him" for what exactly?  She doesn't seem to be interested in money or a green card.


Come on inspector gadget, if she's playing him, what is she trying to gain?

[mambocowboy]

"Play him" for what exactly?  She doesn't seem to be interested in money or a green card.


Come on inspector gadget, if she's playing him, what is she trying to gain?

She's looking for a financial safety net since baby daddy split. As for Arctic Wolf,he is either a troll or incredibly naive

[robert angel]

She's looking for a financial safety net since baby daddy split. As for Arctic Wolf,he is either a troll or incredibly naive

True, true. Some of us obviously advanced beyond basic Math....

[Elexpatriado]

And most women who marry a foreigner 10- 30 years her senior she met on the internet or a marriage agency are doing it for non-economic altruistic reasons??LOL



quote author=robert angel link=topic=7942.msg119919#msg119919 date=1416031133]
True, true. Some of us obviously advanced beyond basic Math....

[Awesome]

True, true. Some of us obviously advanced beyond basic Math....

Maybe, just maybe you made it past basic math, but it's painfully obvious that a few of you bozos have yet to master basic reading and comprehension.


Maybe you missed the part where aw stated that HE HASN'T GIVEN HER ANY MONEY AND SHE HASN'T ASKED FOR ANY.


Shy, socially awkward girls do exist in this world.  Golddiggers actually ASK for money and golddiggers aren't "shy" when it comes to affection.  This girl OBVIOUSLY doesn't fit the mold of a golddigger.  How many different ways do I have to spell that out for you geniuses?

[mambocowboy]

 What kind of a moron would fall for a pregnant woman he's never met? Arctic Wolf was just TROLLING! You got trolled Awesome.

[Awesome]

What kind of a moron would fall for a pregnant woman he's never met? Arctic Wolf was just TROLLING! You got trolled Awesome.

So which is it mc?  Is she after financial gain or is aw just trolling?  Make up your mind breh...

[mambocowboy]

So which is it mc?  Is she after financial gain or is aw just trolling?  Make up your mind breh...

Obviously a pregnant woman whose baby daddy bailed would be looking to lock up some help, but. I maintain Arctic Wolf was a troll, probably some guy who got banned and came back under another name.

[Awesome]

Obviously a pregnant woman whose baby daddy bailed would be looking to lock up some help, but. I maintain Arctic Wolf was a troll, probably some guy who got banned and came back under another name.

You have no way of knowing if he's a troll or not.


How do you know that all pregnant women are looking to "lock up some help"?  Not all pregnant woman are desperate.  How do you know she doesn't have plenty of support from her family?


You're just guessing breh, you don't KNOW squat.

[mambocowboy]

You have no way of knowing if he's a troll or not.


How do you know that all pregnant women are looking to "lock up some help"?  Not all pregnant woman are desperate.  How do you know she doesn't have plenty of support from her family?


You're just guessing breh, you don't KNOW squat.

I know more about the culture than you. What do you know? You spent most of your time in Colombia partying with euro chicks you met in a hostel.

[Awesome]

I know more about the culture than you. What do you know? You spent most of your time in Colombia partying with euro chicks you met in a hostel.

Who's talking about culture?  I'm just saying we don't know enough to details know if aw's trolling and if he isn't trolling then he still hasn't given enough info to determine how needy the girl is.  And if the story's true, he's already said she hasn't asked for money.  You keep ignoring that little detail mc. 


Culture has nothing to do with it.

[InnocentVixen]

Who cares if it was a troll or not? this thread will stay in the archives and it is important to point out that if the situation was true, what would be some smart choices in case some poor soul ends up lurking here because he is in that situation and too ashamed to ask.

I don't even know about the culture down there in Colombia, so I am pretty sure neither Mambo or Awe are experts. I do know however that Awe examples often do not apply to situations since he doesn't do much of long distance dating if at all, he is younger than the average poster and he is also technically a latino.

Either way it's just common sense that if a pregnant girl looking for marriage meets a nice guy and leaves him in the backburner she is desperately looking but too proud to settle before her time runs out (my guess would be 6 months into the pregnancy, while she still looks good and to give time to the new daddy to bond with the baby and registers him). Have some self respect and don't be that nice guy that will wait for her like she was a catch, she is not.