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Author Topic: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.  (Read 3205 times)

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Offline WillieEverlearn

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Just signed up here, and have been browsing past topics...which of course lead to many more questions.

I'm 49, divorced, wanting to live the life unexplored, and have stumbled onto this site because I've always been attracted to Latin women. No specific plans, no specific goal in mind. I'm not the guy who is going to make a one-week trip and find my everlasting soulmate. I'm not the guy who is going to make a one-week trip of total debauchery. And I'm not the guy who is going to pack up for six months and move. At some point, I might do any or all of the above. But...I'm the guy who is going to listen and learn from any advice. I always value the perspectives of those who have been there and done that.


So. I signed up for Latin American Cupid and did a month. And not unlike other experiences, generated a ton of interest from women all over. Have added several on whatsapp and messaged with them. Some trading of vidoes/conversations through WhatsApp and cam conversations on Skype. I read and understand Spanish fairly well, and can carry on a basic conversation. Working on improving my speaking skills.


So that, really, is my question in a broad sense: newbie advice? If you were planning your first trip, your first excursion knowing what you do now...what would you do differently?


But since I'm naturally curious, I'm also full of other questions. All thoughts on any are welcome.


1. There seems to be a strong preference for Colombia on this board. Great! I love Colombianas! But...I also love Dominicanas! And Mexicanas! And...well, I have no real preference. But is Colombia really set apart? I read other threads talking about a variety of factors (ethnic heritage, attraction, living situations, etc.)...but those things don't strike me as unique to Colombia. Is there truly a HUGE cultural difference between the Dominican Republic and Colombia, for instance?


2. Most situations on here seem to break along the "Find a wife and have her move to my country" or "Find a wife and live in her country" lines. Great. But has anyone blended the two? I can see a situation (if I married) in which we could live together here in the United States six or nine months out of the year, she lives in her home country three or six months out of the year, and I spend a month or two with her when she's in her home country. Eventually, I'd certainly consider retiring and moving to her home country permanently. But I'm a good 15 years from retirement, so it's not an immediate thing. I love my career, and I don't have any desire to give it up soon.


3. I've looked at several trip reports, but most seem to be pretty general in nature and talk about the people met, the level of attraction, how they enjoyed the trip, and so on. It's great to read those stories! But I'm wondering if others have specific thoughts about planning a trip? For instance, since I mentioned the Dominican Republic: stay at the beaches for a first-time trip, or venture into Santo Domingo, Santiago, and the like, renting an apartment rather than staying at hotels or resorts? I can see benefits and drawbacks for each approach.


Okay, enough blather for a first post. Mostly, just looking forward to learning from others, chatting with you, and learning from your experiences.



Offline mambocowboy

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2016, 10:45:48 AM »
Welcome and good questions. I think it's great to start chatting them up on Cupid and WhatsApp. Keep perfecting that Spanish. Visit some of these chicks. Don't say anything about marriage; see who you enjoy being around with no strings attached....

Offline Kiltboy1

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2016, 10:49:55 AM »
Welcome to the Forum !

Great first post and questions.

If I had it to do over again, what would I do different?

I would have not kept going back to Colombia to look for a wife. I limited myself to a certain" Type" of woman.
I should have just been myself and went to countries that had things that I enjoyed doing IE Golf( The DR), Great Beaches(DR, Mexico) and enjoyed that VS On The Hunt for a Woman.I met my wife in Ecuador of all places and we both do not even enjoy going back and visiting there. We go to The DR for almost all of our vacations, although we will be in Los Cabos Mexico in 2 weeks on a trip I won through work, but again, Beaches and Golf.

I guess just do not change your personality and types of places you enjoy just to go somewhere to specifically meet women.
She Loves What's Under The Kilt !

Viva Ecuador !

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2016, 10:49:55 AM »

Offline utopiacowboy

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2016, 10:54:10 AM »
The week of debauchery sounds pretty good to me.

Offline WillieEverlearn

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2016, 10:30:51 PM »
The week of debauchery sounds pretty good to me.


It's definitely a pretty solid Plan A.

Offline Shadow_mas

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2016, 07:31:09 AM »
The thing is very simple. Be ready. Know you have the opportunity and money to travel when there is a good connection.
Write. Call. Visit.

If the connection in real life is not the same as you imagined before the visit, repeat.

Offline Thebatman

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2016, 07:24:01 AM »
If you want to try Colombia, and also try an agency, I recommend latinintro.com. Run by English speaking Colombians who once lived stateside. I have used them and dated women from there, but not married anyone. Latin American Introductions is worth a week of your time to see what they can do for you. The boss is Nelson, a good guy.

Offline WillieEverlearn

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2016, 07:17:34 AM »
Gracias por su respuesta y...oh. Wait. Still in Latin American Cupid mode.


Thanks for the responses and suggestions. If nothing else, this is an adventure...as life should be.


Offline robert angel

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2016, 08:44:04 AM »
Gracias por su respuesta y...oh. Wait. Still in Latin American Cupid mode.


Thanks for the responses and suggestions. If nothing else, this is an adventure...as life should be.

Sounds like the OP has a plan and that's the way to go, but sometimes somebody comes along that doesn't exactly fit the 'parameters' you set out initially. When that happens, rather than dismissing them right off, I think it's good to evaluate their potential matching qualities and weigh each quality. Sometimes they're a better match than you might think initially.

I pretty much dismissed my wife as a potential match initially and just remained chat friends on a regular basis. But I felt she was too young and cute for me. But her maturity level, then and now 14 years after we first met, is way beyond her years and that, as well as some other great qualities, have made all the difference.

Never give up the 'adventure' perspective, even after you've settled into a relationship. I've learned to never say : "I've seen it all" any more, as when I did in the past, something came along that blew me out of the water, so to speak. That and I try not to take things for granted and don't assume anything is forever.

The danger I face is when something's real good and steady in a relationship, I sometimes have to remember to still try and bring fresh and novel experiences in.

 
Lately we're doing Yoga 2 or 3 times a week, (we are drenched with sweat when done and it's a real workout there) along with the usual long walks and jogs, but she also likes things like wall climbing, zip lining and while the last two aren't my 'cup of tea', I feel I need to buy into it and we do such things together.

Very importantly, I need to remember to try and bring laughter into relationships. Heck, I find myself looking for joke books and other ways to bring light and laughter into everyday routines, so hopefully they don't seem too 'routine'.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2016, 08:55:34 AM by robert angel »
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

Offline WillieEverlearn

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #9 on: April 06, 2016, 04:43:21 PM »
Thank you, Robert, for saying that. They are wise words to live by, every day.

Offline AndyLee

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Re: Pretend You're Starting This Whole Adventure Over Again. And...Go.
« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2016, 01:15:11 PM »
Here´s a topic and a poster that got off to a good start, then fizzled. I´m curious how things are going for Willie, and if he met anyone or changed his parameters or what? Que Pasó?
Personally, what would I do differently?......hmmmm, not sure, probably everything, but maybe nothing. Everything I´ve done so far has provided experiences, some good some terrible, that have led me to where I am now, married to a beautiful Colombiana and happily planning our new life together. Life is good.
If you are unhappy change something. Quit your job. Move. Leave your miserable relationship. Stop making excuses. You are in control.

 

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