A Different Destination for a change - Ukraine

[benjio]

I think I just realized why a guy disappeared on me right before we met a while ago, he was so nice and we got along great, he was a bit confused with the fact that I would choose japanese as a 3rd language and on our last conversation before he vanished I did mention my belly dancing lessons to him...


He must have assumed I was some sort of escort!! my god I will just keep my mouth shut about my hobbies hahaha

IV, I use to be the same way with online dating. Any hint of something fishy from something a girl said or wrote and I was out of there. I've learned to give women the benefit of the doubt; but even now...usually my "gut feeling" and suspicions turn out to be correct when I sense something is wrong from the get go.
 
I think that guy really missed out.

[aconcepts]

"ready for a group hug"  IV, you just received an honorary degree in boyology and now this!  Its a boys club! We don't group hug... A subversive? Say it aint so Joe!

[Fuzzyone]

Her name is Irina, and she has already changed my life. 

I woke up today with an entirely different set of expectations for myself and goals and values.   Hmmmm   And, fellas, she is a stretch for me!   She is 30.  I am 48.  She has never been married and is without children.  She is the most beautiful woman I have ever been with in truth.   And, she is equally attractive internally. 

When you consider the excess of my last several years, then consider the chance I have with THIS WOMAN - PFFF!  I am one lucky guy. 

It does not look like I will be going to Colombia any more.   I do think I will set up shop in the Dominican Republic, however.  So, I will not be hanging around these parts very often in the future.  I enjoyed our mindless banter.  Thanks for giving me $hit when I deserved it - which was often.

Best of luck to all!


Chau

   Oh my god Zon say it is not so! Anyway it is good to see you finally found your way. I only have one question if you get married does that mean you are a member of the club?

[aconcepts]

A brave new world Zon? I hope nothing but the best for you... I am cautiously optimistic. Have you bought the jar for the bedside table yet? (Couldn't resist, sorry). 

[Zon]

I am so happy for you and love the mushiness!
I hope things work out with Irina




I am ready for a group hug here

JAJAJA - Gracias


Because of the way my reputation grew on this particular board, I always was a defensive and cocky and sort of an A$$hole.  I appreciate your good wishes.  And you have mine, of course.

[Zon]

[size=78%]IV, I use to be the same way with online dating. Any hint of something fishy from something a girl said or wrote and I was out of there. I've learned to give women the benefit of the doubt; but even now...usually my "gut feeling" and suspicions turn out to be correct when I sense something is wrong from the get go.[/size]

I really did not try with online dating - really.  I did not care about really anything except keeping the adventure going.


I have learned (and re-learned) much about myself over the last month.   You have to give time, and stop looking for indians behind trees, WHEN - AND ONLY WHEN - you think you have found a good women that you are capable of loving, and she is capable of returning that love.   It is easier here because of the famous brand of honesty at work in Latin America.


I like belly dancing:)   Irina is easily the most old fashioned woman I have ever met.   She is not plugged into the internet.  She rather spend a night with her grandmother than go out, generally speaking.  She is a grade school teacher and carries that same brand of correctness into her personal life.  BTW, her sport class is Pole Dancing - LOL

[aconcepts]

"Irina is easily the most old fashioned woman I have ever met.   She is not plugged into the internet.  She rather spend a night with her grandmother than go out, generally speaking.  She is a grade school teacher and carries that same brand of correctness into her personal life." 


That sounds cool.


"BTW, her sport class is Pole Dancing - LOL"


Ka what?

[whitey]

[size=78%]I like belly dancing:)   Irina is easily the most old fashioned woman I have ever met.   She is not plugged into the internet.  She rather spend a night with her grandmother than go out, generally speaking.  She is a grade school teacher and carries that same brand of correctness into her personal life.  BTW, her sport class is Pole Dancing - LOL[/size]

Belly dancing - awesome!  But GAWD I hate pole dancing!  Other than that, she sounds amazing Zon ... all the best.

[htown]

Sounds like wife material.  Treat her like a queen Zon!!

[InnocentVixen]

Hey AC, might be a boys club but I am still a girl, can't help it!!


Benjio thanks, I don't take it personally, I understand completely why guys have to be careful, but there is a world of difference between a woman being interested in languages and one that used to prostitute herself abroad... in fact if that was her job I would guess the last thing the men cared about was communication, just like there is a huge difference between choosing an exotic work out (in a all girls class in private) and being an exotic dancer for a living, just a thought you guys might want to keep that in mind.

I like belly dancing:)   Irina is easily the most old fashioned woman I have ever met.   She is not plugged into the internet.  She rather spend a night with her grandmother than go out, generally speaking.  She is a grade school teacher and carries that same brand of correctness into her personal life.  BTW, her sport class is Pole Dancing - LOL

Hahaha my kind of girl, old fashioned does not mean a prude!!!

[Zon]

WELL ... that did not last too long.  But, it is important to note I TRIED.

I fell hard.   And, then I got up.  And, then I saw one of the most beautiful women in the world - with a little attitude.  And, I had to say to myself "Doesn't she remind you of our X?"  And, then I had to run to the bathroom and throw up.  Yep - ella es muy complicada.  I don't know why, but it seems that I fall for pretty girls that are very bitchy?!?!? 

So, here I am in the F$cking Ukraine!  It has been about 2 months I have been in Eastern Europe and Ukraine.   It is not as nice as living in Colombia.  The woman are attractive, but they are NO MORE honest, in fact. They are more prone to conflict which gives them the appearance of honest.  There is a TREMENDOUS negative sterio-type of men hunting wives in Ukraine - much worse than Colombia. 

The women here are complicated.  They are educated and sophisticated and they walk like runway models.   But, they are not easy to know deeply.  They do not age well.  The men are boorish.  There is a strong wall up against foreigners.  On comparison, Colombianos are open and curious.

The women have a very guarded, cool exterior ... generally speaking.  Obviously, Colombianas do not have this problem.

Both women have problems trusting men.  For good reasons, many of us are PIGS LOL  (can I hear an AMEN aconcepts)

====

This last month was good for me.   I fell in love in a way I thought I could not.  I became a puppy (and to admit this makes me feel creepy).   And, then when I realized this thing was not right ... it hurt like a bitch.   So, I am more humble and value the type of relationship that I have not really sought in the past.   I think I will be a better person going forward.

So, I have a 36 hour train ride to Vienna and a 16 hour flight to Tampa.  Colombia is looking pretty damn good again.

[aconcepts]

"Priceless - and for everything else there is MasterCard!


What more can I say... jajajajajajajajajaaaaaaaaaaaaa jjjaaaa hahahaha!


90% of you bit.... "who called "new Uke chick setting up shot in DR - don't buy it!" (paraphrasing)


You get the prize!


I was firmly on the fense, paddling the same way but very skeptical...


Another dude who loves the idea of being in love, but when the realty strikes - sinks in and you have to answers to la hefa... hahahahah well you know...


I wana be in love too Zoniroso!

[Bob_S]

Sorry it didn't work out, but I'm not really surprised.  I think you are too spoiled by the heat of the tropics to endure or enjoy the frigid slavic steppes (and I'm not talking ambient air temperature).  Glaciers are beautiful from a distance, but not all guys are cut out for a life perched on top of one.  To each his own.  As you pass through, grab one of these newbie pups and drag him with you.

[SkyNorth]

Zon..."I smell what your stepping in", all you can do is put your best foot forward if she can't live life without the attitude just, Move On.

[fathertime]

WELL ... that did not last too long.  But, it is important to note I TRIED.

I fell hard.   And, then I got up.  And, then I saw one of the most beautiful women in the world - with a little attitude.  And, I had to say to myself "Doesn't she remind you of our X?"  And, then I had to run to the bathroom and throw up.  Yep - ella es muy complicada.  I don't know why, but it seems that I fall for pretty girls that are very bitchy?!?!? 
 

This last month was good for me.   I fell in love in a way I thought I could not.  I became a puppy (and to admit this makes me feel creepy).   And, then when I realized this thing was not right ... it hurt like a bitch.   So, I am more humble and value the type of relationship that I have not really sought in the past.   I think I will be a better person going forward.
 

Why you nincompoop, how could you be such a suckup lapdog?  jajaj  Just kidding man. 


Well I guess you gave it a go, so now maybe you should see what you have done incorrectly and try to not repeat it.  It sounds like it is for the best if she has a generally bitchy attitude, that would be difficult to live with on a daily basis.    I wouldn't let yourself wallow in self-pity about it and start groaning about how all women are 'this' or 'that'.  It would be interesting to hear exactly what it was that turned you off about this lady.  I'm assuming you didn't propose to her and get rejected.


Have fun in Vienna, that city is really neat!
Fathertime! 

[InnocentVixen]

It sounds like it is for the best if she has a generally bitchy attitude, that would be difficult to live with on a daily basis.

I am curious as well, did she already had this attitude and was the thrill of the chase that made you fall for her or did her attitude change when she thought she had you? could it be you got cold feet and nothing changed? whatever happened and whether you feel like sharing it or not I hope you have better luck in the future and find what you are looking for

[htown]

Zon, from reading your posts I don't think the whole "mail-order bride" concept is for you.  Your expectations seem to be too high fort that, and that's not a bad thing.  If I were you, I'd settle down somewhere for a while, may it be DR, Colombia, CR.  Become a local like aconcepts.  Meet women naturally, organically.  All this speed-dating, marriage agency stuff seems like an awkward setup for someone complicated like you.

[Zon]

I am curious as well, did she already had this attitude and was the thrill of the chase that made you fall for her or did her attitude change when she thought she had you? could it be you got cold feet and nothing changed? whatever happened and whether you feel like sharing it or not I hope you have better luck in the future and find what you are looking for

Could it be me?  No, not this time.  I was about as ready and clear minded and as hopeful as a guy could be. 


In every love affair, someone loves the other more.  In this case, I was the more motivated party.  Although I did not show excess!  There may have been hearts in my eyes, but my behavior was respectful and strong (not unattractive).  She did not try enough!  And, when my brain arrested my heart, I saw her to be a little self centered and complicated.  There is only room for one complicated party in a relationship, and in my case, by definition, that has to be be:)


Again, I am not pissed or disappointed.  I had a shot and took it.  She was worth it (apparently).  The worse thing would have been to proceed and make another trip to this God forsaken location LOL (just kidding .. it is not bad)   In the end, you only want to have relationships (marriages) with those that ADD to your life in some way. 


Again, I will not fall very far. This was just an experiment to make sure I had no regrets as life progressed.  My Plan B is alright by me:) Turns out to be a Plan A.


I agree the MOB thing is not for me.  I think it minimizes a man from the get-go. But, hey it has worked for some.   


If I looked in Russia / Ukraine, it would be wise for me to re-adjust my age and league.  Irina is a drop dead gorgeous 30 year old, never married, no children.   FOR serious consideration / wife material, I think it is generally best to look for 8's - 9's and 10's always negatively affected by their beauty.


====


You wanna be in LOVE.   Whatever it was the last 3 weeks was not a vacation, and did not feel "good".  I felt excited, new, confused, needy.  Of all those, I only liked the "new" part.  And, you know what, I am too old for that.     


Complicated, Bitchy, Beautiful women are the type that make me feel that way.  What good can come from that?  Not much.

[Researcher]

    I don't know Zonny but the MOB thing may be just what you need. What? Yes, it sounds like you are learning alot about yourself in the process. You seem to have benefited so far from your new found knowledge so why not continue the journey. As you say "it is a process" and you seem to want to experience it for yourself rather than listen much to what others have to say, nothing wrong with that. I say "Rock On"!

       Researcher

[SkyNorth]

Zonster...I totally agree with Researcher.  You have many miles to go before you sleep.
Think about it you have sampled lattitude, longitude, life (and lady) both near and far.  Life and love comes in many colors, its not just black & white. 
Ask yourself this question, knowing what you know now. 
Would you change anything you have done to this point?

[aconcepts]

There is only room for one complicated party in a relationship, and in my case, by definition, that has to be be:)


The prodigal son is home....


Well I wish you like I wish me the best in finding a "mate(?).'


in other words, move on and grove on. Another Bolero, another Bachata, another Cumbia or another salsa - as long as its not another Madouche-bag or lady Gag Gag you be OK.


You know me I am a recovery "love borderline Personality Disorder" types. Wow what high highs!


Inquisitive, playful, adventerous, but ultimatley distructive just lose a couple outbuilding in the fire and don't lose the ranch and its worth the mess. What great sex. Somehow I think that is what Colombia holds for me.


Althyough in my head I like what DT is doing in Colombia with a 30 old women in the campo and part of the family thing.


I could see myself entering that world. Playing the naive foreigner is a strange land...


yeah I am a dreamer... but someones gotta do it.


For me I had a couple dinner dates and a beach date with the 37 year old actress ans she could have world toured with Dylan for all the baggae she had... Now I am happily playing house with a 23 year old from the east coast side. Baggae free, happy as a lark, she comes and cooks and cleans and we walk and talk. Bila morena! Took her to a great hotel the other day (Xandari) highly recommended... bunch of goffy Americans there though.. Ah what da ya expect???


Now if I could just feel like Zon did.


But then again she is not a BPD type!!!!


Complicated can be great fun and no fun - maybe you and I Zon are the BPD types as well. But aint it grand!


Anyways thanks for the great trip reports... I throughly enjoyed them. Love the ending - Our hero does not get the girl. It was like that Liaam Nisen moving where the plane crashes and all the survivors get eaten one by one by the wolves!!! real life crap!

[whitey]

Anyways thanks for the great trip reports... I throughly enjoyed them. Love the ending - Our hero does not get the girl. It was like that Liaam Nisen moving where the plane crashes and all the survivors get eaten one by one by the wolves!!! real life crap!

Nazly and I watched that movie last weekend.  I really enjoyed the ending, but since we don't know what happens, I prefer to think he kicked those wolves butts!  Nazly didn't like the ending because it had no "closure".


Worth a watch for those who haven't seen it ... it's called The Grey ... although I guess we've just spoiled it a little ...

[Zon]

Anyways thanks for the great trip reports... I throughout enjoyed them. Love the ending - Our hero does not get the girl. It was like that Liaam Nisen moving where the plane crashes and all the survivors get eaten one by one by the wolves!!! real life crap!

Sorry to seem wishy washy ... in truth, I have been amazingly truthful, honest, consistent and firm.  BUT...
=====

You know over the last 72 hours I found my ball sack again.  (sorry ladies)  I looked at the situation clearly.  I looked at the play clock (I am leaving in a 4 days).  And, I walked. 

Guess what?   Extra innings.  Irina called and we just met.  I see a different woman now. She sees a different man. Actually, this began 3 days ago and continued at the family diner table.  I was a little too direct for Russian sensibilities?  Maybe we were posturing to see who was going to be the man in our new relationship?

I pretty much read a laundry list.  She answered line by line.  And, there ARE reasons for everything I saw lacking / perceived as difficult. She was accountable for what was correct.  Her feelings were physically obvious.  I was sad / surprised to see that some of the problems were, in fact, my own creation, others, a product of limited English.  (before all you guys start suggesting I am a puss ... she was rather AMAZINGLY forthcoming for a very prideful woman.  I really could not ask for more in that department)  Impossible to not see that she cares for me much much more deeply that I would have guessed. 

Bottom line is I have met a boat load of women, and none of them ever stopped my feet, eyes and heart.  I am not looking for a wife. I am looking for a special woman.  For such a woman, I would walk through hell.  She is the most special woman I have ever found.  I do not have that dizzy little boy feeling anymore.  It would be cowardly, and untrue to myself, to not explore this.  (could I pick a situation that could be any harder?)

[aconcepts]

Chukies In Love ---


Who sung that?


The wolves ate him, what are you talkin about... He was starin down the pack and he had, what a broken bottle or something... hahahaha yeah - he kicked their ass, right. The eternal optimist eh Whitey, Ok. A virtue I guess!


It looks like Zon is in the wolf battle now. Soul for soul I might say. Who will emerge as the owner... stay tuned, film at 11!


Milk it my man! May never happen again.

[Jeff S]

You're dating yourself ac...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLu387iIBmM