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Latin International Dating Forums => Latin -> Introductions and Ice-Breakers => Topic started by: Neoblk40 on July 17, 2017, 01:57:27 PM

Title: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on July 17, 2017, 01:57:27 PM
So you've gone to baranquilla or other places in colombia and found your dream girl.  You brought your wife back to the US and got married.  I'm calling out to the guys that made it happen and were successful.  I've never seen an aftermath post, so i thought i'd put one out there to see if this is a successful venture. How's life going with your foreign bride 1yr 2yrs or even 5 years and beyond? Was it everything you expected it to be? Any regrets that newbies like myself should be looking out for? And if you didn't make it are  you going to go back and try again?





Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on July 17, 2017, 03:09:12 PM
Great question. My wife and I made it to 5 years in May this year. I could write a book about this....my advice to guys starting out: find out what experience she's had with foreign men, if she has any girlfriends who have such experiences, get to know her family...if she doesn't like to cook you will spend a fortune on restaurants (My wife likes cooking thankfully)...what are her religious beliefs and are they consistent with yours? Do you both agree on whether or not to have kids? Is her family economically dependent on her? Will they depend on money from you? ...colombianas are horny af: the expectation is you will rise to the occasion daily....what is she going to do when she gets to your city? How will she stay busy? Where will she meet new friends? I could list more but have to go...lots for a man to think about....
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on July 17, 2017, 07:31:59 PM
Thanks for the reply mambocowboy. That sure is a lot to think about for sure, but i'm sure it was worth the trouble.  Did you meet her through Jamie's agency or otherwise?
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on July 17, 2017, 08:21:06 PM
Thanks for the reply mambocowboy. That sure is a lot to think about for sure, but i'm sure it was worth the trouble.  Did you meet her through Jamie's agency or otherwise?
I met my wife through Latin American Cupid. Even though I consider our 5 year marriage in the US a "success,"  we've had plenty of ups and downs and it hasn't  been easy.  My advice is based on my own experiences plus my observations of the other gringo-colombiana couples I've met....
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on July 18, 2017, 11:30:59 AM
So you've gone to baranquilla or other places in colombia and found your dream girl.  You brought your wife back to the US and got married.  I'm calling out to the guys that made it happen and were successful.  I've never seen an aftermath post, so i thought i'd put one out there to see if this is a successful venture. How's life going with your foreign bride 1yr 2yrs or even 5 years and beyond? Was it everything you expected it to be? Any regrets that newbies like myself should be looking out for? And if you didn't make it are  you going to go back and try again?

Very, very few guys here write about what it takes, what it has taken, to keep their marriages going. Even fewer, like almost none, even come back to say it didn't work out and the likely reasons why. A few years back, a guy named Jason, out of Tennessee, did a pretty good job here of laying out how their honeymoon quickly evolved into a trainwreck, with materialism and her family being two big issues.

That's really sad, as it could help tremendously if guys were more open.But probably,  some happily married guys are too busy and simply leave here, but I think most are too torn up, perhaps find it too embarassing to come back and describe how it all went down when it goes bad.

But honestly, I think that as least as much as in the USA, that probably less than half of these foreign  marriages last 5 or maybe10 years. Hopefully guys here can learn and fall on the good side of the statistics.

I described the slow death of my first 14 year long marriage to a foreigner (last two years separated) and it wasn't pretty, but writing about it was also a catharsis of sorts, letting me come to grips, rethinking how it all went down, seeing it more clearly and even learning a bit.

Before that, I dated a lot of Latinas imported to NYC and elsewhere I was living and in addition, my late Father's brothers all married Latinas, so I saw those dynamics growing up. Only one of my Uncles has (was) been able to make it last, although they went quite a few years married before divorcing by today's disposable marriage standards anyway.

Back then, lawyers couldn't legally advertise, never mind promise: "Divorces, starting at $100." For me, their wives, my Aunts, had  fiery temperments, which had appeal at first, but became too wearisome. My Uncles made good money and their wives (except the one still married to my last surviving Uncle) -spent it even faster. I remember one summer, when my Uncle came home from a long road trip, to find my Aunt had a big inground swimming pool put in the backyard. Surprise!!!--kaching!! Lordie, we had a lot of fun for years in that pool. Lots of lovely chica friends of my cousins for me to play with!!

But we called their marriages "Kisses and hand grenades". Jealously was also a factor. Insecurities and issues from women's young and even current lives might not be evident initially, but eventually become very evident. Skeletons and insecurities come out of the closet. Find out what makes her really tick, what her priorities are, where her loyalties lay, before the honeymoon. It takes time and putting together bits of information, like a puzzle.

My wife looks latina and due to the Spaniards occupying her nation for over 400 years, she actually has more Spanish blood, especially from her Father's side and some from one of her Mom's parents. But for almost 12 years now, we've made it work. And we knew each other four years before that, in touch almost every day. Spanish culture permeates their lives still today. Even their language, from social greeetings, to counting numbers, is in Spanish.Some significant cultural, religious similarities, mindsets, superstitions, etc.

The keys to our success thus far (having been married once before, I still tell myself: "Nothing lasts forever") have probably been picking our battles and not letting little annoyances become major blowouts. Being able to forgive and move on---no, not forget, but not holding grudges, is a huge, huge factor. You've gotta get over it and past it. Most of our fights are over after a nights sleep, or two, maybe three days top. Otherwise,  I just can't deal with coining home, knowing the sh!ts still gonna be flying. I need to know what I'm coming home to and it better be good.

 Can't say there's never been a lie, but really too few to even recall any specifically. That said, both of us might , and again extremely rarely,  simply not 'mention' something and these, sometimes called 'Lies of ommission" can be the very worst. What you DON'T know can hurt the most.

A lot of Latinas lie like it's second nature to the point where they might not even feel like it's a lie. And I'm not talking about what's for  dinner or your birthday.  Not all, but plenty seem to perpetuate a culture where lies of varying degrees are pretty much acceptable in their minds, as if in 'what they don't know won't hurt them, in fact it's better'--like they're giving you a dream, an alternative reality in some instances, as if they're doing you a good service.

Keeping a realistic handle on jealousy is a balancing act.. If my wife stopped being curious about 'other' women I work with, those from the past, my ex--just about the 'competition' period, it'd be bad, like she didn't care anymore. She does care and keeps an eye out, even telling me when women seem to 'like' me perhaps a bit too much, but it's not like a freaking death vigil, nothing she harps on. If your wife is always questioning you, it'll get bad. She may even assume you are when you aren't and have a 'revenge love affair.'

The guy not getting pissy and fed up with his wife's family dramas and not realizing they'll always go on and worse yet, will probably require  monetary infusions, that's important too. Accept it, while trying tactfully to moderate it.

God forbid she has a little boy from before you met her, chances are huge you'll always be number two and she'll spoil the 'little prince' in front of or behind your back.

Age diferences can take a toll--I've been very lucky on that count. Look at my avatar, if I was green, I'd be Shrek and she'd be a morena Fiona. You should see our bathing suits pics from this past 4th of July, well--hers anyway, LOL. I've beaten the odds thus far hugely there, but be careful what you wish for, ESPECIALLY if you take her to your country, where she'll inevitably meet some fast company, including hot divorcees, from her own country,  who'll offer her ALL kinds of 'advice'---like the advantages of divorce monetarily in the USA, how she CAN have it all...


Many couples reach a point where to where not only have they let their relationship get stale, but the wife has gotten a grasp of the language of her new country, has moved up in her job and makes enough money to the point where leaving her husband is financially possible and attractive at that, considering her other 'options'. Simply put, they don't really 'need' each other anymore. Money can be a cold, cold, thing.

That's one, perhaps the most significant reason why, if at all possible, you should live in her country if you're going to marry her. The dynamics switch much more to your favor. That said, keep in mind it'll be one hell of a daily temptation for you to keep your pants on in her country, as it's very likely that other women there will, shall we say, find  you 'very attractive and desirable.' That's just  one reason why my wife and her family always seem to want to accompany me whenever I run errands or leave the house in her country.

There's a million other things I've written about here in the past about what makes it work (or not work for us), as well as for family and friends we know. Children from a previous marriage creating strains deserves a whole chapter--maybe a book.

But what's helped us most besides my wife's wonderful, even tempermant, is that she still loves and cares for me in a tremendous way, probably because she pretends it's "Be kind to animals day" every day, and that usually gives our marriage a good chance of lasting yet another day.

And I love and appreciate her in at least a thousand ways. We still help and support each other, be it with our respective families, our work place situations and responsibilities--a lot of things. Importantly she puts up with my adult children and like when they were young, still discreetly offers advice.

No it ain't perfect, but I've been a lucky, lucky guy.

Wishing the best for you guys too, but not only look, but THINK before you leap....
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: utopiacowboy on July 18, 2017, 12:09:26 PM
I have been married for 14 years to a Colombiana from Medellin. I have broken every rule cherished by the members of Planet Love. I met her on a Latin dating site called amigos.com. I had a few other relationships with women I met on dating sites both in the US and in Latin America. I traveled to meet her after chatting by web cam and got married in Medellin in 2003. I love the women of Medellin - they are the hottest on earth. And the most enterprising lol!


She was a widow with three kids and I added them to my own four children to create a crazy chaotic happy family of seven children.


Advice? It helps to be patient. It helps to know her language and have an appreciation for some of the things that matter to almost every Colombiana like Latin music and dance.


My wife is a terrible cook and housekeeper but I don't care. I am happy to do the cooking and most of the household chores since I am retired and what else have I got to do?


She is still working as a production supervisor at the Toyota plant in San Antonio, Texas. We continue to speak Spanish to each other although her English is much improved.




Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on July 18, 2017, 12:59:21 PM
I have been married for 14 years to a Colombiana from Medellin. I have broken every rule cherished by the members of Planet Love. I met her on a Latin dating site called amigos.com. I had a few other relationships with women I met on dating sites both in the US and in Latin America. I traveled to meet her after chatting by web cam and got married in Medellin in 2003. I love the women of Medellin - they are the hottest on earth. And the most enterprising lol!


She was a widow with three kids and I added them to my own four children to create a crazy chaotic happy family of seven children.


Advice? It helps to be patient. It helps to know her language and have an appreciation for some of the things that matter to almost every Colombiana like Latin music and dance.


My wife is a terrible cook and housekeeper but I don't care. I am happy to do the cooking and most of the household chores since I am retired and what else have I got to do?


She is still working as a production supervisor at the Toyota plant in San Antonio, Texas. We continue to speak Spanish to each other although her English is much improved.

UC's got a great situation going, based on his years of contributions here. His lovely wife is able to work and live in a place in the USA where her ability to predominantly speak in Spanish is often a huge positive. A lot less pressure there. He has had a great relationship with, I wouldn't even call them 'her' kids, as it's been so long, I'd guess their mindset is 'their' kids, and she apparantly wasn't caught up in child rearing mindsets that often cause huge divisions in other couples.

I'd dare say they're different, that they defied the odds despite circumstances that if described beforehand, I would have given odds of 'slim to none' but again, they beat all odds, I'd guess because of the very fact that they are different than most folks. And very significantly, to stay together as long as they have, to raise kids to adulthood and then having enough income when staying together no being a 'necessity'--they've obviously got a lot of what I call 'sticktoitivness' going on. Hell, I bet they even love each other!

But what cracks be up is from what I recall, some times her biological kids, boys at that, seem to favor him!

Great example, but like mine thus far, more the exception than a common scenario, I'm afraid.

Reliving it and adding some hollywood embelishments, It'd probably make a great sitcom, a mix of the Brady Bunch and Modern Family, with some Texas mix thrown in for good measure LOL. You go, UC!
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on July 18, 2017, 01:32:12 PM
Very, very few guys here write about what it takes, what it has taken, to keep their marriages going. Even fewer, like almost none, even come back to say it didn't work out and the likely reasons why. A few years back, a guy named Jason, out of Tennessee, did a pretty good job here of laying out how their honeymoon quickly evolved into a trainwreck, with materialism and her family being two big issues.

That's really sad, as it could help tremendously if guys were more open.But probably,  some happily married guys are too busy and simply leave here, but I think most are too torn up, perhaps find it too embarassing to come back and describe how it all went down when it goes bad.

But honestly, I think that as least as much as in the USA, that probably less than half of these foreign  marriages last 5 or maybe10 years. Hopefully guys here can learn and fall on the good side of the statistics.

I described the slow death of my first 14 year long marriage to a foreigner (last two years separated) and it wasn't pretty, but writing about it was also a catharsis of sorts, letting me come to grips, rethinking how it all went down, seeing it more clearly and even learning a bit.

Before that, I dated a lot of Latinas imported to NYC and elsewhere I was living and in addition, my late Father's brothers all married Latinas, so I saw those dynamics growing up. Only one of my Uncles has (was) been able to make it last, although they went quite a few years married before divorcing by today's disposable marriage standards anyway.

Back then, lawyers couldn't legally advertise, never mind promise: "Divorces, starting at $100." For me, their wives, my Aunts, had  fiery temperments, which had appeal at first, but became too wearisome. My Uncles made good money and their wives (except the one still married to my last surviving Uncle) -spent it even faster. I remember one summer, when my Uncle came home from a long road trip, to find my Aunt had a big inground swimming pool put in the backyard. Surprise!!!--kaching!! Lordie, we had a lot of fun for years in that pool. Lots of lovely chica friends of my cousins for me to play with!!

But we called their marriages "Kisses and hand grenades". Jealously was also a factor. Insecurities and issues from women's young and even current lives might not be evident initially, but eventually become very evident. Skeletons and insecurities come out of the closet. Find out what makes her really tick, what her priorities are, where her loyalties lay, before the honeymoon. It takes time and putting together bits of information, like a puzzle.

My wife looks latina and due to the Spaniards occupying her nation for over 400 years, she actually has more Spanish blood, especially from her Father's side and some from one of her Mom's parents. But for almost 12 years now, we've made it work. And we knew each other four years before that, in touch almost every day. Spanish culture permeates their lives still today. Even their language, from social greeetings, to counting numbers, is in Spanish.Some significant cultural, religious similarities, mindsets, superstitions, etc.

The keys to our success thus far (having been married once before, I still tell myself: "Nothing lasts forever") have probably been picking our battles and not letting little annoyances become major blowouts. Being able to forgive and move on---no, not forget, but not holding grudges, is a huge, huge factor. You've gotta get over it and past it. Most of our fights are over after a nights sleep, or two, maybe three days top. Otherwise,  I just can't deal with coining home, knowing the sh!ts still gonna be flying. I need to know what I'm coming home to and it better be good.

 Can't say there's never been a lie, but really too few to even recall any specifically. That said, both of us might , and again extremely rarely,  simply not 'mention' something and these, sometimes called 'Lies of ommission" can be the very worst. What you DON'T know can hurt the most.

A lot of Latinas lie like it's second nature to the point where they might not even feel like it's a lie. And I'm not talking about what's for  dinner or your birthday.  Not all, but plenty seem to perpetuate a culture where lies of varying degrees are pretty much acceptable in their minds, as if in 'what they don't know won't hurt them, in fact it's better'--like they're giving you a dream, an alternative reality in some instances, as if they're doing you a good service.

Keeping a realistic handle on jealousy is a balancing act.. If my wife stopped being curious about 'other' women I work with, those from the past, my ex--just about the 'competition' period, it'd be bad, like she didn't care anymore. She does care and keeps an eye out, even telling me when women seem to 'like' me perhaps a bit too much, but it's not like a freaking death vigil, nothing she harps on. If your wife is always questioning you, it'll get bad. She may even assume you are when you aren't and have a 'revenge love affair.'

The guy not getting pissy and fed up with his wife's family dramas and not realizing they'll always go on and worse yet, will probably require  monetary infusions, that's important too. Accept it, while trying tactfully to moderate it.

God forbid she has a little boy from before you met her, chances are huge you'll always be number two and she'll spoil the 'little prince' in front of or behind your back.

Age diferences can take a toll--I've been very lucky on that count. Look at my avatar, if I was green, I'd be Shrek and she'd be a morena Fiona. You should see our bathing suits pics from this past 4th of July, well--hers anyway, LOL. I've beaten the odds thus far hugely there, but be careful what you wish for, ESPECIALLY if you take her to your country, where she'll inevitably meet some fast company, including hot divorcees, from her own country,  who'll offer her ALL kinds of 'advice'---like the advantages of divorce monetarily in the USA, how she CAN have it all...


Many couples reach a point where to where not only have they let their relationship get stale, but the wife has gotten a grasp of the language of her new country, has moved up in her job and makes enough money to the point where leaving her husband is financially possible and attractive at that, considering her other 'options'. Simply put, they don't really 'need' each other anymore. Money can be a cold, cold, thing.

That's one, perhaps the most significant reason why, if at all possible, you should live in her country if you're going to marry her. The dynamics switch much more to your favor. That said, keep in mind it'll be one hell of a daily temptation for you to keep your pants on in her country, as it's very likely that other women there will, shall we say, find  you 'very attractive and desirable.' That's just  one reason why my wife and her family always seem to want to accompany me whenever I run errands or leave the house in her country.

There's a million other things I've written about here in the past about what makes it work (or not work for us), as well as for family and friends we know. Children from a previous marriage creating strains deserves a whole chapter--maybe a book.

But what's helped us most besides my wife's wonderful, even tempermant, is that she still loves and cares for me in a tremendous way, probably because she pretends it's "Be kind to animals day" every day, and that usually gives our marriage a good chance of lasting yet another day.

And I love and appreciate her in at least a thousand ways. We still help and support each other, be it with our respective families, our work place situations and responsibilities--a lot of things. Importantly she puts up with my adult children and like when they were young, still discreetly offers advice.

No it ain't perfect, but I've been a lucky, lucky guy.

Wishing the best for you guys too, but not only look, but THINK before you leap....
RA makes great points. Re: why you should live in her country: keep in mind the moment you marry her in the US (in California at least), she can leave you and you still have to financially support her the rest of your life,

 plus she's entitled to 50% of everything you own. And she might not realize that right away, but her Spanish speaking friends will let her know that the moment she complains to them about you. Not only that, they'll encourage her to divorce you, insisting she can do better....that's why caution is needed before marrying her, and one of many reasons why living in her country is financially safer for the man....
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on July 19, 2017, 09:52:58 PM
While things have gone very well, I'd go back overseas if I had to do it all over again. But one thing that I'm glad of and I think, or hope anyways that the same holds true for the gal you single guys eventually pick, is she had her head on pretty good--she was well grounded and non materialistic from the start. So she isn't coveting all the things so rampant on places like farcebook and in the media overall. That said, in terms of material things, outside of shoes (in all fairness she shops sales there too) those are things we both have too much of. I hate shopping for shoes with women......

A dozen years in the states and while I know she loves them and perhaps it's a bit of a game, but I've had to talk her into letting me buy her things like an Apple watch and new iPhones, iPads etc. We've been talking for a few years now about getting her into a certified, low mileage Honda Accord, one that's just 2 or 3 years old and was driven by an old lady, but while she doesn't like payments, we might go for it---her 1997 Camry's been a reliable horse, but all things must pass---for cryin out loud, it's 21 years old... I'm kind of embarassed to see my beautiful, hardworking wife in such a beater auto, and she'd cry tears of joy for an orchid white Accord sedan--she's too practical for a sportier coupe--turns the idea down, and I'm glad, because she's so cute that'd really have her catching 'looks'.

I guess the one big change in her that costs $$$$$  is that she wants to travel. Although we've done a fair bit in the Americas, she wants to see Rome, Paris, Switzerland,  etc. But so do I and we eventually will together.

Credit cards are evil and many wives new to the USA will get into trouble there. My wife did once, not to an awful extent, but there was a lesson learned. She saw how some othrr people get in so deep that they're mainly paying off the interest fees, that the principal stays about the same. The plastic prison.

 You might think twice before letting her use credit cards when she goes home. They'll want to help their family, treat them to 'special' things, but aside from family, when they go home, people, friends etc., think because they have been living in the USA that they're automatically rich. It's really weird, like you're supposed to be rich like they see in movies and on TV or something....

But look at their family. Are they self supporting? Are they educated, or if need be, would helping them get a college degree make them self sufficient? Too many women have families that where once you bail them out, it seems that every week or month, they have another crisis that can only be averted by infusions of your hard earned cash.

 Evaluate the situation beforehand. Although it's not easy to do, if she's all about you giving her gifts, paying for her phone and Internet time/devices early on, chances are it runs in the family. Too many guys don't look hard enough at the woman's family and friends and those groups can reveal a whole lot about HER. We are all products of our upbringing and environment, so don't try to fool yourself otherwise.

I knew my wife was actually pretty frugal and that her family wasn't going to try and bleed me before we got married and that has changed very little. But again, if a woman doesn't have her values straight--her head screwed on well, life in the USA can really bring some huge changes, many of them  not too appealing.

Be careful about how the two of you choose your friends. Falling in with all the people from her country in your town is no wiser than buddying up with all the people from where you work. You can be nice to everyone, but choose who you consider a true 'friend' very carefully. Without any fights with others, our friends, our 'social circle' has actually gotten smaller over the years. We sometimes say "It's really just you and me". But we know everybody and I suppose we're thought of in pretty good terms, but we just don't mingle a whole lot.Best to stay away from the gossip.

Too many marriages break up over money, so being up front on what's reasonable and what's not before you get hitched and having an idea of her sensibilities, can save you a lot of grief.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on July 20, 2017, 04:50:18 PM
I'm loving the feedback guys!! I thought this forum was dead, but it's alive and well and gives me hope :-) I'll respond more thoroughly once I catch up on the posts.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on July 20, 2017, 05:45:59 PM
UC and RA, all I can say is WOW!!! You weren't joking when you said there's alot to think about. My family is from Aruba, Grenada and Trinidad which are all a bit close to Venezuela, just north of south america in the carribean sea.  So I know how that type of women can be.  Some of them are the same in my country and i'm afraid because of how close those countries are to America and the advent of TV and internet, it has definitely spoiled alot of those women as well, which is why I'm looking further south. I've actually had relatives try to marry me off to their daughters or cousins so that they can come into the country and then divorce right away just to come to america. Some actually come here on vacation and have a baby with someone they met the previous trip or something and boom, they somehow get to stay.  I don't even know the international laws pertaining to this, one of the many things i need to brush up on before i got searching for a wife.


But honestly, Robert thanks for sharing so much. I have to take more time than i originally had planned about bringing a wife here to the states. I actually want to bring a girl back to Florida since there are lots of spanish speaking people there.  I figured my spanish will be good enough by the time i make this happen by next year depending on how things go. And in addition that, i'm a regular in the salsa clubs.  One of the reasons without a doubt that i want to marry a foreign women is also because of the few encounters i've had with some of them in the club scene or in life in general when i've met girls that just came here from their latin country, they can be sooooo sweet and sincere, and absolutely beautiful, especially that one's that can dance.  Some of them, it's like they walked out of my dreams and onto the dance floor.  These days I've been getting too many that are married with kids and just want to go hang out and dance EVERY other week.  Eventually, it's like when am i going to actually have one of my own.


This one girl one time i will never forget how this girl danced so close to me when we danced bachata. I mean her breasts and pelvic area was right up on me. She totally caught me by surprise, i mean you don't expect that from a beautiful woman right away in NYC.  I thought maybe she was autistic or something.  When i realized she wasn't disabled, i thought she liked me. She didn't even warm up to it. And 10 min later when i finally realized what was going on, she was upset with me because she thought I didn't like her, cause i tried to keep my distance. I never got a chance to make it up to her that night cause she stayed upset, but later on i realized that she is just trying to get a green card.  My friends and I was celebrating a birthday so we had bottle service and a nice sitting area. Nevertheless, it's something i've learned to watch for. I'm going to be very careful and give it lots of time once i get to Baranquilla this year. 


UtopiaC, thanks for your input as well.  Damn, i hope florida doesn't have those laws about having to take care of your wife for the rest of her life if you marry her. I'm going to consult my lawyers at least 3 attorney's before doing anything cause that [snip] ain't happening. Especially the part about getting 50% of everything i own.  That's some real bull[snip] right there. I thought all this was what us guys tired of american women was trying to get away from.  Im hearing now that the divorce rate in America is 75%???  There's got to be an easier way, because I have no choice at this point. I'm already spoiled.


And guys when i get there i'm definitely going to write back on my experience before and after marriage.


Looking forward to hearing from more people out there. Don't by shy! We are all in this together.



Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on July 21, 2017, 10:58:18 AM
You're welcome. As a precaution,  I tell guys that if they don't buy a house before getting married and bringing the bride here to live, if they're thinking of buying one, and/or rolling equity from the present one into a nicer, bigger one etc., that they do it BEFORE getting married. That fellow Jason who I mentioned built a beautiful new custom house with his wife involved from the planning stages on.

It wasn't months before her family came to visit and he became estranged from his wife, but as I recall, she AND her family stayed a good while in the house----the police wouldn't even allow him to enter.

It took a while for the lawyers to work it out, but I'm pretty sure she's still here in the USA, living a lot better here in the USA than she did in S. America.


We were down in the 'A, B, C' Islands and Aruba being only about a dozen miles away from Venezuela, the banks and shop keepers worry a lot about desperate Venezuelans, to the point where when we were there, the ATMs wouldn't stock US dollars, as the Venezuelans take them as hedges against inflation. That mess is only getting worse at the moment. We liked Aruba and Curacao and home prices aren't crazy high, but like Key West, Florida, I imagine it'd feel real small and confining after a while.

Best of luck to you,

Robert
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on July 21, 2017, 07:22:55 PM
Ja ja

Quité a story about that Jason charácter if true.

I have done some dumb things in my life, but definitely a much lower "bobo" threshold than that..
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Calipro on July 25, 2017, 01:48:36 AM

 plus she's entitled to 50% of everything you own. And she might not realize that right away, but her Spanish speaking friends will let her know that the moment she complains to them about you. Not only that, they'll encourage her to divorce you, insisting she can do better....that's why caution is needed before marrying her, and one of many reasons why living in her country is financially safer for the man....


Thank God I live in Arizona instead of California.


Because my ex-wives would all be rich.


In Arizona your wife is only entitled to 50% of the wealth that you accumulated while you were actually married. And that's net of any debt you accumulated as well.


I guess I was never that good at investing because any increase in my wealth during the three or so years of each marriage could usually be wiped out by my buying a new car and driving it off the lot and running up a few credit cards. jajaja


And I ain't joking.


There is a good reason why I've never seen the inside of a divorce court room.....It wasn't worth their time and certainly not their money. jajajaj
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: John W on July 31, 2017, 08:32:38 PM
I met my wife in December 2011 in Cartagena.  She arrived in the US in November 2013.  We got married in January 2014 and had a child in December 2016.   My wife is crazy about me, very attractive, and 17 years younger than me.  I am an average looking guy in his early 50s.  I have a lot of envious friends and acquaintances.  Having said that, there were lots of things she either misled me about before we got married or that she failed to mention.
 
The first one was the financial situation with her mother.  I did not know that my wife’s mother had not worked since around 2000.  When I met my wife, she lived with her mother and supported her.  I thought her mother had stopped working within the last few years of the time we met.  I just found out recently, when we learned my mother-in-law would not be getting a pension, that she had not worked for years.  I pretty much support my mother-law-in financially, but while she is in Colombia it is very inexpensive.  My wife worked for about 7 months at a minimum wage job here in the US, and while she was working she was sending her mother about 1,200,000 to 1,500,000 pesos per month.  Prior to that I was sending her about 700,000 to 800,000.  I recently cut it back to 600,000, but there is always additional money we send.  I would say it is running at about 800,000-900,000/month.  I spoke to my wife about her mother before my wife came up here.  I told her I would not solely support her mother, that I expected her brother and sister to help out as well.  I thought we had an agreement where my wife and I were going to provide about 60% of the financial support her mother needed, and her brother and sister were going to split the balance.  That cost sharing arrangement only lasted about four months, and as soon as my wife found out that her mother had not eaten in over a day and called me to send her some money, I realized our agreement to all contribute was not going to be honored.  As soon as we started picking up more expenses the brother and sister stopped helping out financially.
 
 
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on July 31, 2017, 08:54:57 PM
I met my wife in December 2011 in Cartagena.  She arrived in the US in November 2013.  We got married in January 2014 and had a child in December 2016.   My wife is crazy about me, very attractive, and 17 years younger than me.  I am an average looking guy in his early 50s.  I have a lot of envious friends and acquaintances.  Having said that, there were lots of things she either misled me about before we got married or that she failed to mention.   
The first one was the financial situation with her mother.  I did not know that my wife’s mother had not worked since around 2000.  When I met my wife, she lived with her mother and supported her.  I thought her mother had stopped working within the last few years of the time we met.  I just found out recently, when we learned my mother-in-law would not be getting pension, that she had not worked for years.  I pretty much support my mother-law-in financially, but while she is in Colombia it is very inexpensive.  My wife worked for about 7 months at a minimum wage job here in the US, and while she was working she was sending her mother about 1,200,000 to 1,500,000 pesos per month.  Prior to that I was sending her about 700,000 to 800,000.  I recently cut it back to 600,000, but there is always additional money we send.  I would say it is running at about 800,000-900,000/month.  I spoke to my wife about her mother before my wife came up here.  I told her I would not solely support her mother, that I expect her brother and sister to help out as well.  I thought we had an agreement where my wife and I were going to provide about 60% of financial support her mother needed, and her brother and sister were going to split the balance.  That cost sharing arrangement only lasted about four months, and as soon as my wife found out that her mother had not eaten in over a day and called me to send her some money, I realized our agreement to all contribute was not going to be honored.  As soon as we started picking up more expenses the brother and sister stopped helping out financially.
This is the type of honesty we rarely get on this site from a married guy. Thanks for sharing John.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on August 01, 2017, 07:37:23 AM
John your getting off pretty cheap.
Aa long asbyourcwife thankful and gives you what you want I wouldn. Worry about it. Its peanuts.

Marry a Colombiana, marry the family.

Cant let her ma starve for crisakes.
Which begs another question.here mom have medical insurance in Colombia?
Thats where future big expenses will come.


Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Ricardo1 on August 01, 2017, 10:10:55 AM
It would be a foregone conclusion, in my mind, that family members while they mean well, are no doubt themselves struggling to make ends meet, and an expat husband is going to be seen as 'wealthy' enough to foot the bill. 


And make no mistake about it, at some time a  Colombian wife will be asking a favor of her husband to help out some family member.


Of course, the expectation is that you're going to help out...
The financial aspect alone is enough to cause strain on these marriages!


Even when it's been gone over prior to marriage!


Suerte!
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on August 01, 2017, 04:20:14 PM
I think regardless of the nation the wife is from, if the family isn't well off, it's inevitable that you're going to be helping out the family to some extent, for any number of different reasons. My wife's the eldest sister amongst seven siblings and that puts her under even more pressure in her culture, even more so since she moved here, where of course, the perception is that we're all 'well off'.

Just like they see in TV and the movies! We're loaded!

Her work wages here in the USA went to put five siblings through school, through very good universities. They all work now, some of them abroad. They (and also 'us' to a lesser extent now) all help the Mom out, as she's now a widow and she has pretty much turned the family business and land over to the eldest son.

So in a way, we were able to, instead of buying them a fish dinner every day for the rest of their lives, by putting them thru school and as necessary,  paying agencies to get her siblings work abroad, gave them the boat and gear to fish for themselves and pay (most of) their own ways.

We paid more up front to pay less now, by making them more self sufficient.

The great Jamaican sprinter, the Uber wealthy Usain Bolt, refused to give his money away to family members, but he set them up in various business ventures to succeed or fail on their own.

So my wife's work wages covered 95% of 'our' support of her family and she's plenty generous with her wages and me, covering my excellent lunch every day,  a fancy dinner out every Friday night, some fairly big utilities and household costs and probably too many nice gifts to me--colognes, clothing, watches, electronics, etc. Her only area where she remotely indulges is shoes. She dresses extremely well, but manages to get designer stuff at thrift shop prices----she's a very savvy shopper.

I am glad her English is good enough (but not TOO good) for her to work beyond the minimum wage level, but I'll admit that in a way I'm glad she still needs me to help her professional English writing sometimes. I also coach her on enunciation, speaking English slower, that words like 'scissors' aren't 'caesers'--that 'that' isn't pronounced ''dat' and other little nuances that her Spanish based dialect presents. Occasionally she'll send me several letters, business correspondence a day to check for proper tense, gender usage, connecting words etc.

Now she has to train a bunch of people at work on a new Ecommerce platform the huge medical company she works at has had her working on (developing) and we have rehearsed her leading role in training staff, while under the watch of top brass, company lawyers etc., at least a 100 times. I made her presentation more 'North American' by at the two thirds point of the presentation, she pauses and raising her voice says:

"And that's not ALL folks!!!!-----for those of you who can stay awake for the next 15 minutes, we have some very special features for you!!!!"

When one of the head suits, I think he's a lawyer and company CFO, heard that part of the presentation rehearsed,  he fell,out laughing----it was a good idea. She used to love those cornball Ronco (pocket fisherman, etc.) late nite TV commercials and it's paying off, LOL.

Obviously our situation is a lot different than one where there's a baby at home, where the Mom has more limited English and her job might pay minimum wage, while childcare costs would take most of that income. That's a tough, tough situation.

I guess I'm also glad that we do realize that both our incomes together make for a better lifestyle, that she'd,have a tough time going it alone, what with rents, car costs, insurances, groceries etc. So I am more useful than a cat....

While most her siblings were still in school, they were 'ground zero' in  typhoon that resulted in the greatest loss of life of any castatrophy in 2013. Thousands dead, homes, even the very trees, leveled. My own parents and siblings joined in to rebuild their homes and keep them in food, etc. As awful a situation as it was,  it was awesome to see our families rise to the occasion selflessly.

I guess it'll always be something. Last night she told me how her Mom's phone is crapping out pretty bad. It was her Mom's first smart phone and amazingly, she 'got modern' and does Facebook and more now, which is kind of cool. I mean, even I don't 'do' farcebook....So my wife's shopping at my suggestion, for a refurbished, warrantied iPhone 6plus, just like her own phone. Hopefully we can wait until the new iPhone 8 arrives, driving older model's cost down.

But I'm not gonna pitch a bitch or create a situation where she might just do it behind my back anyway. Over there, a phone is deemed essential and if in the USA,  'you are what you drive' (stupid, I know) the same mindset holds over there for phones, especially as 99% of the women never drive.

So my advice is try to get siblings and family members educated and gainfully employed and all chipping in to help. Easier said than done, and I realize that many times that once you come to a family's financial rescue in time of crisis,  the number of crisis requiring you money suddenly occur with alarming regularity, leaving you wondering how they ever survived before you came into the picture.

Well, you know they did, and you know that if you left the picture,  they'd somehow get by again, albeit perhaps thinking that you're one cheap, selfish muther f----ker!
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on August 01, 2017, 04:57:17 PM
After I posted the above,  I realized I should've made it clearer that it wasn't like it is now right when she got off the plane about twelve years ago.

She couldn't drive. I got her a 1997 Toyota Camry, a car that she still drives, although we're looking for a deal on a more current, gently used Honda Accord.

But I lost several layers of tooth enamel, and lost my voice, going hoarse while trying to teach her how to drive. She STILL can't parallel park. I have to drive her into town or if she drives, she pays for a garage, usually only after I've taken her over the route to the garage she'll have to drive the day before.

 Although she still has these weird moments where she thinks: "I can't believe I'm actually driving a car--alone"--she's extremely safe as a driver, zero tickets, zero accidents. Hell, she did most of the driving from NYC to Florida, but no parallel  parking was involved....I think there's a very strong magnet inside the car that attracts metal shopping carts-----the car has more dings than I care to count.

Her first job was stacking clothes at JC Penneys. She'd stack em neat and high, low rent types would almost immediately knock them over. Welcome to America.  It was at the mall--lots of parking lot carb dings there too. After showing, taking her over the route to the mall in a 'dry run', she nonetheless insisted on driving the whole twelve miles to the job, staying in the right hand lane the whole time until she saw the 'land mark' turn.

She took course work to improve her reading, writing and speaking English ability.  She was an elementary school classroom paraprofessional for five years, working kindergarten, then 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th grades. That helped her education to an extent, certainly opened her eyes to issues with the US and how kids are raised.  But they repeatedly voted her 'Instructional Support Person of the Year" (ISPY) as she gave 200%. They tried, practically begged her to take a teaching position. They LOVED her. She passed all the state exams required for being a classroom teacher--writing essays, reading comprehension, Math and more. But she refused, insecure and feeling her grasp of English wasn't 'good enough'--she didn't want to set the children back a single iota.

She took free courses in English written and spoken grammar through the local University's Speech Pathology dept.  More recently, she took the same kind of instruction, called "advanced" at the local Vocational - Technical College. Students from China, Laos, Vietnam, the a Middle East, Mexico, S. & C America, just a partial list--- even the instructor, wondered why she was there. Like the other times, it was her idea. She's made nice 'friends'-- helped a lot of insecure women from other countries figure out things like how to make a Dr.'s appt. It's interesting when some woman from Thailand or El Salvador text messages, asking her for help, in English I can hardly follow, but she reaches them.

The last instructor didn't win a lot of points when he told the class that once they entered their teenage years, that learning good English was very unlikely, that they would always have problems and he wondered why he was teaching the areas of English the class was working on. My wife stopped going shortly after that, but she still helps those who ask her.

Even today, she occasionally gets online and tries to improve her English via YouTube videos.There's plenty of them. It's a great idea for husbands to be in on that and  to play around with tongue twisting nursery rhymes ("She sells sea shells by the sea shore"--" Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?" Jack picked a peck of pickled peppers") and to just not give up, be negative or overly judgemental.

Other jobs followed, she excelled at each, improving her skills. Had she stayed in education, she'd be vested in a pension system now and probably be making close to $60,000 a year, a lot more than she does developing and maintaining eCommerce systems where we live, even with her past 5 year bachelor's computer engineering degree, all credits accepted here. She also managed a major corporate resturant for nearly five years and that was something that like working in the school, she was terrified of at first, then her nervousness drove her to excell and be acknowledged highly, leaving her humble.

No, life isn't always fair.... But she's not the kind of person to look back in sadness for long, if at all. She is more likely to think: "It's God's will" and be thankful for what she has.

She's very proud to be a US Citizen, but happier yet to have dual citizenship.

It's been an interesting journey, as I imagine you guys have had different, but nonetheless interesting versions of yourselves, as well. But I suggest that like her, just try to be thankful for what you've got rather than what not and don't forget that someday in the not too distant future, you'll look back and say:

"THOSE were the good old days"

We're living them now, we just don't realize it enough.....
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on August 03, 2017, 07:08:09 PM
Excellent post Rob  :-X !! Just when i thought you were going to leave out "Jack picked a peck of pickled peppers"!! LOL!! And no disrespect to your wife, but she drove MOST of the way from NYC to FL? Are you kidding me? How did you manage to not have a heart attack?? But also it says alot about your wife that she has the resilience to do that. Talk about a ride or die chick!!  See, that's what i'm talking about though.  That's what i want  :-[ !!!  A chick that's not lazy, or selfish, but is willing to go the distance with her husband.....literally!!  The journey you are on with your wife Rob, even with all the problems that you've mentioned, is what makes these days, like you said, the good old days for you.  I can't wait to get there myself!!



Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on August 03, 2017, 08:49:44 PM
Excellent post Rob  :-X !! Just when i thought you were going to leave out "Jack picked a peck of pickled peppers"!! LOL!! And no disrespect to your wife, but she drove MOST of the way from NYC to FL? Are you kidding me? How did you manage to not have a heart attack?? But also it says alot about your wife that she has the resilience to do that. Talk about a ride or die chick!!  See, that's what i'm talking about though.  That's what i want  :-[ !!!  A chick that's not lazy, or selfish, but is willing to go the distance with her husband.....literally!!  The journey you are on with your wife Rob, even with all the problems that you've mentioned, is what makes these days, like you said, the good old days for you.  I can't wait to get there myself!!

Thanks Man,

Yea, I was kinda feeling 'out of it' and , and this is the key, but you can drive on highway I95 from NYC till it ends and NEVER have to parallel park! She's a great driver as long as the driver's seat goes high enough,  as she's short.

But yeah, she easily did 12 of the 16 or so hours, straight, without issue. Smooth. I slept. That included the worst portion, from NYC until you get past Washington DC, going thru tolls for turnpikes, etc.

She can see, 'sense' a cop from the other side of a hill, for crying out loud.  She came from a culture where cops collect 'fines' from drivers and pedestrians for their own pockets and even though that's not the case here and she's never done a thing remotely illegal, she has a built in fear of police.

She often thinks "What would I do without you??"-- mentally dealing with the deed of the house, taxes, insurances, details-- but that's her "way"....but when it comes down to all that, and  the nitty gritty spins that life throws us sometimes, she'd get it done. She's doing it already, just not realizing it.

Her being nervous and insecure gives her the juice, the 'adrenaline' and motivation, to try harder and succeed.

But It's great that she values my all around support and that's a mutual thing. So I play along while telling her the only person doubting her abilities is herself.

But to be totally honest, when I've been a real bad dog, a total dry, sarcastic and irresponsible prick, she's snapped at me:

" You think you can just go out and find another woman like ME???

I don't even hesitate, I just say "no....."

So it's not always perfect, life after the honeymoon is aleays gonna have bumps, maybe even crashes.

I sometimes joke that the only reason why she's still with me is because she pretends every day is "Be kind to animals day"
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on August 05, 2017, 10:05:18 PM
Lmao, Robert, have you ever thought about writing an e-book or something about your journey? I would certainly read it, lol. You should think it! I may do the same once i get that far.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on August 11, 2017, 09:37:24 PM
Lmao, Robert, have you ever thought about writing an e-book or something about your journey? I would certainly read it, lol. You should think it! I may do the same once i get that far.

Thanks Neo,

We all have different 'luck', if you will, some might call it fate, but while I never really planned much of anything in my life, there's a lot to be said for 'planning' and it sounds like you're going that way, formulating an idea of what might be ideal for you, the where and how to go about realizing it.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained....

But I think your chances are good. More often than not, I failed to realize when I had a good woman, a good situation. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Repeatedly. It took me 4 years of pretty regular contact before I asked my wife to marry me. Meanwhile,  I jumped from nation to nation, playing the field. I can't imagine another woman then or even more so in this modern age of technological options, waiting that long.

Aim high, but be realistic. Have a good idea of what you want, but be open to the fact that someone beautiful and wonderful might be outside those parameters.

I kept telling myself that my now wife was: "Too young, too pretty, too well educated" thinking it'd never last. It could've also possibly panned out to be a different situation, one where I could've ended up with a woman from another country who on the hotness scale is an 8--back in her land, but here in the USA, her beauty being a more like a 9+ ---- a woman who's looks and personality smokes the other USA homegrown and spoiled women like cold turkeys. A woman who respects and honors her man.

You've got to look at the whole picture and try to think long term if you're capable. I've always and still do have problems with 'long term' thinking. I need the 'writing on the wall' to be ten feet high, preferably in red.

My life has had so many twists and turns, from a modest start as a child, to world travels and a time of affluence and wealth, to where I am now, sort of content and materially 'in the middle."

I'm here, still standing, healthy and fitter than a year ago, looking to retire a while down the road, at least before age 60.

We're more glad for the things we DON'T have (like physical pain, addictions, debt and household dramas) than me/us wanting much in the way of actual material 'things'.

About the only thing remotely expensive on our bucket list is more traveling, and that'll happen.

But writing my "journey" -- story as perhaps an E book? Nobody would believe it, and few would buy it. Sort of a Forest Gump luck not only lead me into a vortex of situations and experiences, but also kept me from killing myself, being killed by others or ending up in jail at times.

I have been very lucky in spite of myself. From age 12 to 40, I lived incredibly fast and recklessly. Really, I was hustling for a buck from the age where I could first pile 2 cent soda deposit bottles into my little red wagon and cash them in. '

But once I got to junior high school age (I was the Teacher's absolute worst nightmare) me 'skirting the law' would be an understatement. Eventually making and losing a fortune more than once, met a lot of famous people later on. NYC, before it became relatively tamed, was my playground. Most of the people overall--my friends and partners, lead short lives.

As an adult, by my mid thirties, I knew I had issues and demons, but I made a deal, with the devil--myself, telling me 'Yea, I've got some bad ways and habits that will lead to no good end, but I'm still enjoying them".

I married a lovely woman, a nurse, thinking inside: "She'll save me from myself"  but ultimately, the only person who could do that was myself. Sooooo, that didn't go too well.

Finally, at age 40, looking at my impending divorce, with two beautiful, young sons, the 'collateral damage' ---I made another deal, saying to myself: "41 and I'm done". And so it was and still is.

Now, I ain't no Saint by a long stretch, but I did 'clean up my act' a whole lot, I must say.

They say 'You can't go back" and for me, even if I wanted to, it's true, because the NYC, really the 'run' down to Philly, from NYC into upstate NY to be 'safe' and up to Boston,  doesn't exist anymore. At least not as I knew it.

But I still have enough rough edges to know how incredibly fortunate I am to have a woman who's incredibly humble and forgiving, who's young and physically beautiful, but low maintainance.

She's Christian but not overbearing, she doesn't preach or talk a lot about religion, doesn't force me to go to church. She's just an immensely generous, enjoyable soul, who can be a lot of fun, yet she 'walks the walk', gets over crap and forgives quickly. She's far from dumb and calls me out on my BS when I need it. A guy needs that. Positivity follows her around like sparkles follow a sparkler, but she knows, she feels when something isn't right.

Just a few minutes a ago, she said: "I really should clean the house". We'd just got back from a great restuarant, celebrating over a family dinner, honoring my excellent youngest son returning to the University of Georgia for his Junior year tomorrow morning. The kid's on track, earning almost straight A's towards dual bachelor's degrees in a specialized area of computer science and mathematics that will put him in a niche area: 'Data Scientist, Computer Security Specialist' field, where job salaries start at 115K a year, usually also with handsome stock options.

The kid's taking a pretty straight path, not a nerd, doing his own 'reaching' -- experimenting in his experiences, but taking a much straighter path, planned with purpose, than I ever dreamed of.

But back to my wife. Coming back to our humble little house, lamenting on not cleaning the bathroom, and washing the bed linens she just washed 5 days ago, (she loves the smell,of fresh linen) I told her: "No honey, let's just lie here in bed, relax and not worry about it, it can wait".

She just said: "I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband"

I could still screw this up too, but I think the chances of me finding another woman with even 80---90% of her good characteristics are about the same as me winning the mega lottery games in seven states simultaneously.

And the chances of me finding someone half as good as here here in the USA are probably just as slim.

Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on August 12, 2017, 09:00:51 PM
Now see Rob, there you go again writing a great story (non-fiction).  You give great insight to these forums and much hope to the men looking to find the same dream come true relationship.


You may have an idea on how similar your story is to many of the men in the US, but you have no idea how helpful you are still sharing what you've been through.  I find it a bit disturbing that only you and cowboy were the only 2, if i'm not mistaken that replied back to this forum thus far and shared some wisdom.  Or, perhaps everyone else is just enjoying their happy life.


But as i was saying, your journey is very similar and especially to mine. I wasted a lot of time chasing women in NY and everywhere i traveled to in my 20's and 30's, but i never considered marrying a foreign woman until I started researching it.  I'm rolling on at 43 now, but I know i'm still young and able to start my search for a good wife and raise up a family with her.  I watch my healthy pretty closely so i'm sure I'm still a good catch, except for the fortune i spent trying to start failed businesses.  But it's the journey in all this that has made me much wiser and like you, i said, ok i'm 40 now, that's it, i'm gonna do things the right way so i left my job and starting working on everything i wanted for myself.  I'm back to work now, but i'm more clear minded than I've ever been.


I'm looking forward to my trip to barranquilla to visit Jamie's spot, but i may not make my final decision then and there. The second trip i will find a hotel nearby and date locally as someone on the forum once suggested. I'm surrounded by beautiful spanish women here in NY, especially the bronx, unfortunately, they are either married, have 2 or 3 kids, or are much younger and looking for someone to take care of them.


Luckily, I managed to not make any kids thus far, so i'm good there, but i still want that.  I currently live in NY and let me tell you, all the trouble i had in the past with good looking women, trying to get into a relationship with them, and now to see many of them having 3 kids, 2 kids, well lets just say i have trouble shaking them off. They throwing that pussy at me every weekend they have a chance to get away from their kids. And if i meet a woman with no children, Ay dios mio!!, she is so f****** picky, and disrespectful and lazy and has such a bad attitude towards anything we may happen to disagree with. I'm done with all that. I'm gonna write something amazing one day as you've been doing in this forum.


Remind me again how you guys met Rob? Which country is she from? And great post as always bro!!




Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on August 12, 2017, 10:25:34 PM
Now see Rob, there you go again writing a great story (non-fiction).  You give great insight to these forums and much hope to the men looking to find the same dream come true relationship.


You may have an idea on how similar your story is to many of the men in the US, but you have no idea how helpful you are still sharing what you've been through.  I find it a bit disturbing that only you and cowboy were the only 2, if i'm not mistaken that replied back to this forum thus far and shared some wisdom.  Or, perhaps everyone else is just enjoying their happy life.


But as i was saying, your journey is very similar and especially to mine. I wasted a lot of time chasing women in NY and everywhere i traveled to in my 20's and 30's, but i never considered marrying a foreign woman until I started researching it.  I'm rolling on at 43 now, but I know i'm still young and able to start my search for a good wife and raise up a family with her.  I watch my healthy pretty closely so i'm sure I'm still a good catch, except for the fortune i spent trying to start failed businesses.  But it's the journey in all this that has made me much wiser and like you, i said, ok i'm 40 now, that's it, i'm gonna do things the right way so i left my job and starting working on everything i wanted for myself.  I'm back to work now, but i'm more clear minded than I've ever been.


I'm looking forward to my trip to barranquilla to visit Jamie's spot, but i may not make my final decision then and there. The second trip i will find a hotel nearby and date locally as someone on the forum once suggested. I'm surrounded by beautiful spanish women here in NY, especially the bronx, unfortunately, they are either married, have 2 or 3 kids, or are much younger and looking for someone to take care of them.


Luckily, I managed to not make any kids thus far, so i'm good there, but i still want that.  I currently live in NY and let me tell you, all the trouble i had in the past with good looking women, trying to get into a relationship with them, and now to see many of them having 3 kids, 2 kids, well lets just say i have trouble shaking them off. They throwing that pussy at me every weekend they have a chance to get away from their kids. And if i meet a woman with no children, Ay dios mio!!, she is so f****** picky, and disrespectful and lazy and has such a bad attitude towards anything we may happen to disagree with. I'm done with all that. I'm gonna write something amazing one day as you've been doing in this forum.


Remind me again how you guys met Rob? Which country is she from? And great post as always bro!!
Turning 40 was life changing for me too. All of a sudden I had the idea to start looking overseas and never looked back. Once you know what you want in life....
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on August 13, 2017, 08:46:12 AM
There's a lot that a number of guys here could contribute. The starts and stops, mis steps and more. Everyone's journey is different.

Maybe some guys don't want to talk about things that aren't great, the bumps along the way. I really don't know.

But learning from failure, not quitting, not painting all women the same way just because some did you wrong, that helped me.

You fall off the horse, dust yourself off and get back on....

I met my wife thru a Filipina who of all places, lived in Vermont. We met in an international chat room on Yahoo, back when that site was still a big deal. Anyway, she tried to fix me up with her sister. Her sister was very nice, but we weren't 'right' for each other. To her credit, she didn't get angry with me.

Here's the hinge though. I didn't just stop communicating like folks online typically do. We all stayed cordial, I got to know her Vermont raised husband too Not being bitter or put out, they introduced me to my wife, who they'd met on Yahoo and got to know each other.

Therein lies a hint. Spread your web wide. I cultivated friendships online with a lot of people of all ages. In my trips too, face to face. Everybody's got freinds, relatives, info on where to stay, eat, where to go. I had Grandmothers, taxi drivers, hotel doormen etc, all helping me out, trying to match me up.

But women older than me in particular, helped me a lot in learning about the culture. Some of them offered to match me up, and importantly, explained their were several types of women out there, and how things really worked.

Here's but a few types: the cute, young, pretty babe, usually just with a high school education if that,  who just wants to see some nice hotels, resorts, maybe have you buy her a bathing suit, a few travel outfits. A travel partner, with ''benefits'. Nothing perverse or underhanded.

Then there were, and these were usually women 25 to 35 years old, that you had to spend at least a few days close to their home first, but relatives of the 'match maker' who were educated, held jobs. Some of them had a child or two. These match makers, often important women in their families and hometowns, also were often honest about the availibility of 'easy' women the pitfalls there, while typically not damning them. Very 'matter of fact' but helpful to a foriegner who might not otherwise see the distinctions between these and other types of women, including differences between more rurally raised and city raised women. That's a whole topic in it's own right.

But getting to know people, making postive impressions, saying that (however unlikely) that if they came to my area of  the country, I'd show them around, all that increased my circle of prospects exponentially. Just being 'nice' and not coming off like some 'big shot' can get you a long way.

Two sided sword there though, in that you might spend a lot more time and money checking possibilities out, but then again you've got people in the inside, telling you how things, usually how 'people', really are. It just can give you more info on women than an online profile or agency typically can, although I hear that Jamie really does a good job of all that, down in Colombia. I've heard he's 'got your back' pretty well, one of the last agencies worth their salt.

But like in life in general, not burning your bridges after passing through an experience, that's usually a better approach with relationships, I think. Although they say "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", lol and I dated some Latinas that before we split, got madder than bobcats in burlap bags, before eventually (usually) chilling out. Almost every woman I've ever had a relationship with would still give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek today, which I think is great.

I was in a meeting not so long ago and by chance, a woman I was hot n heavy with almost 30 years before, when I was in my early twenties, was there. Man, we used to get hot enough
that the wallpaper came off the walls, lol.

What could've been an uncomfortable occasion, was instead great and afterwards, discussing all the wild n crazy stuff we did togther, where our lives had taken us, it was all great.

I tell my sons not to just 'hit and run' but to try and end things well and when things, as they occasionally do, flameout in a bad way, to try and not look back in anger. It only clouds the mind, creating bad energy.

Reach!
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Researcher on August 15, 2017, 07:01:53 PM
So you've gone to baranquilla or other places in colombia and found your dream girl.  You brought your wife back to the US and got married.  I'm calling out to the guys that made it happen and were successful.  I've never seen an aftermath post, so i thought i'd put one out there to see if this is a successful venture. How's life going with your foreign bride 1yr 2yrs or even 5 years and beyond? Was it everything you expected it to be? Any regrets that newbies like myself should be looking out for? And if you didn't make it are  you going to go back and try again?

My Colombiana and I just celebrated our 10th year anniversary. Best thing I have ever done. I was married twice before to American women and neither marriage lasted more than 3 years.

What you should be looking out for is not getting caught up in having so many choices that you lose sight of what you really want in a relationship. Be realistic. There are some awesome women out there and there are many phonies. I was lucky enough that my wife turned out to be the real deal.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on August 16, 2017, 05:37:27 PM
That's awesome Researcher!!! Thanks for sharing man.  I will definitely keep this in mind. Did you guys meet online, on a marriage tour, or vacation? I'm kinda trying to give myself time to try all 3 of these options.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on August 16, 2017, 05:48:26 PM
Rob, thanks for the deep advice as well. Your definitely right about keeping the friends network going. I used to chat it up with this girl I met online who lived in Honduras. We've been chat buddies for like 2 years. She always remembers my birthday, and every relative holiday to the US. I was surprised in some cases that she kept in touch so much. Ofcourse, she could have been looking for the green card, but you never know. After many photo exchanges and chats, things kinda drifted off. I feel bad about it too. She always asks if i met my novia yet.  We just didn't have that romantic anything while chatting ya know or any sexting play.  On the other hand i don't want a sexting with me all the time, but somewhere in the middle would have been nice. Anyways, my gaze is now on Colombia.


I can't tell you the amount of time i heard someone on Jamie's sight say DONT EMAIL them and then go met them in Colombia.  Seeing is believing according to many. So i'm thinking about it hard. Im figuring when i get down there i will meet a few ladies that will keep me very busy over the chat lines until next year when i go back.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Researcher on August 16, 2017, 06:48:24 PM
That's awesome Researcher!!! Thanks for sharing man.  I will definitely keep this in mind. Did you guys meet online, on a marriage tour, or vacation? I'm kinda trying to give myself time to try all 3 of these options.

We met thru an agency in Bogota. She has been in the US 9 years. Since then she has learned how to drive, learned English, got her GED here, earned a bachelors degree from a major university and now she is an accountant working for the State. She has accomplished more in this time than many accomplish their whole life.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on August 16, 2017, 09:25:37 PM
We met thru an agency in Bogota. She has been in the US 9 years. Since then she has learned how to drive, learned English, got her GED here, earned a bachelors degree from a major university and now she is an accountant working for the State. She has accomplished more in this time than many accomplish their whole life.
Not surprising for a cachaca. Barranquilleras have more difficulty adjusting,  generally...
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Researcher on August 17, 2017, 06:35:19 AM
Not surprising for a cachaca. Barranquilleras have more difficulty adjusting,  generally...

Her biggest adjustment has been getting used to living in the small town we live in.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on August 17, 2017, 05:49:23 PM
Beautiful Researcher. You guys are all my heroes man. Wow, she did all that too, nice!!  What's even greater is that you and your wife really survived and lasted for 10 years. I hear too many stories that sound great, up until 3 to 5 years then, boom, they back in the hunt! I myself am trying really, really hard to avoid that from happening.  Do you think living in a small town helps?
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on August 17, 2017, 08:49:09 PM
Beautiful Researcher. You guys are all my heroes man. Wow, she did all that too, nice!!  What's even greater is that you and your wife really survived and lasted for 10 years. I hear too many stories that sound great, up until 3 to 5 years then, boom, they back in the hunt! I myself am trying really, really hard to avoid that from happening.  Do you think living in a small town helps?

It's a great story, really exceptional. For sooo many foriegn women, just the language barrier in the USA is too much. They fall in with a circle of friends who speak the same language, don't get out much beyond their immediate 'comfort zone' and don't acclimate to their new country. I would imagine there was just the right amount of luck, timing and using sound judgement to make it happen initially. Then it likely took a lot of team work and encouragement to get the momentum going to establish her success here and to keep it going, as roles like strictly dependent,  to student, to working came to be.

A lesser man might have tried, conciously or unconciously, to hold her back and keep her dependent upon him.

But ten years married in the USA for anybody, is an impressive benchmark more than ever before.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Researcher on August 17, 2017, 09:40:28 PM
Beautiful Researcher. You guys are all my heroes man. Wow, she did all that too, nice!!  What's even greater is that you and your wife really survived and lasted for 10 years. I hear too many stories that sound great, up until 3 to 5 years then, boom, they back in the hunt! I myself am trying really, really hard to avoid that from happening.  Do you think living in a small town helps?

I was your age when I married so you are probably mature enough to make a good decision. It helped me anyway. I do not believe living in a small town has as much to do with it as my wife turned out to be such a good person. You never know from the beginning but I got lucky.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Researcher on August 17, 2017, 09:44:10 PM
It's a great story, really exceptional. For sooo many foriegn women, just the language barrier in the USA is too much. They fall in with a circle of friends who speak the same language, don't get out much beyond their immediate 'comfort zone' and don't acclimate to their new country. I would imagine there was just the right amount of luck, timing and using sound judgement to make it happen initially. Then it likely took a lot of team work and encouragement to get the momentum going to establish her success here and to keep it going, as roles like strictly dependent,  to student, to working came to be.

A lesser man might have tried, conciously or unconciously, to hold her back and keep her dependent upon him.

But ten years married in the USA for anybody, is an impressive benchmark more than ever before.

Thanks Robert. I did not want my wife to be too dependent on me. I am 10 years older than her and who knows what could happen. She still has things to learn that will help her. Sometimes she depends on me a little too much so I do encourage her to be independent.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: vikingo on August 22, 2017, 06:01:33 PM
Haven't had time to read all these posts, so I may repeat what others have said. I am now in my third relationship with a colombiana. The first was an academic, a tall, slender caleña, very interesting woman, played the acoustic guitar like a pro and had a beautiful singing voice but was such a spendthrift that we drifted apart after 5 years. An excellent family though, almost all academics. She actually had 11 cousins of which every single one had studied medicine. She worked off and on teaching courses at universities but her income was a drop on a hot stone for her spending habits. She came from a family and from an ex husband with means and couldn't adjust to a regular guy like me.
The second was a costeña with a body that would make a grown man lose his senses and was excellent in helping out with Spanish and medical appointments and she even liked to cook. She had a diploma as a preschool teacher but found that kind of work too stressful and I ended up supporting her. I despised her family, except for one niece who was in her early teens and kind of spoke fluent English. This woman was 33 when we first met and almost 40 when we broke up. I tried to get out of the city since I'm basically a country boy but she didn't want any part of it as almost all Colombian women are extremely family oriented and like to live close to the family.
Be prepared if you're thinking of living in Colombia or returning here with your wife to live in retirement that wherever her family lives, that's where you are going to live with her. So if a colder climate like Bogotá appeals to you, don't look for a costeña bride or visa versa.
Well,  colombiana number three came into my life, almost two years ago, a small town woman from the deep South, a woman of color but with a pure Indio father and half my age. She loves to work, is very honest, decent and of good character and we get along great and I really like her family. Her and I do clash however in our political views as she likes Obama and I am a Trump supporter, hahaha. So I learned early in the relationship to avoid political discussions at all cost. I am northern European, I can't possibly put my self in the role of a Black person. They've had their problems with discrimination in the past, we've also had our problems, all my male ancestors being sent off to battle and dying young, except for one uncle who came back and actually lived to be 94.

I've learned since living here since 2005, most colombianas are materialistic and are convinced that gringos have unlimited funds.
A good number of colombianas are dreaming of a life in the United States, they see as a land of milk and honey. Many are disenchanted though after a while if friends and family can't see them and envy them in their modern home or driving their own car, so it often becomes meaningless.
For some colombianas it's more important to live in the United States then is the person who actually brought them there, her American husband. What ever you found enchanting when you met your bride, her unspoiled attitude, serving you on hand and foot and worrying about your well-being will soon fade away as she becomes Americanized, for a simple reason as has been mentioned here earlier, she will run into Spanish speaking people who will explain to her that she no longer lives in a men's world but has rights now that she could only dream off in her home country. This isn't always to your advantage, you will become less important to her and will soon find yourself doing the dishes when you get home from work while she is recovering from a stressful day of watching novelas on Canál Univisión.
If a colombiana has a son she sees in him the man she fell in love with but who deserted her - but her son will never leave her or betray her, he will always be her son, her flesh and blood and support her when she is too old to work, so she thinks. Might even be true in many cases.
The gringo will almost never be the most important person in her life. Accept that her son comes first, her mom second and you are third in line with any luck, before her daughter, her dad, her siblings and numerous other family members. Such is the Latin culture. Sometimes you are even reduced to not being more than her señor cajero, her Mr. ATM.
You are expected to care for her mom if your wife stopped working,  after you appeared on the scene . Few elderly people in Colombia receive any kind of old age pension and are dependent on help from the family. I had an experience that sons and daughters who all chipped in for years to help mom suddenly withdrew their help because I was there now with my 'unlimited' funds.
Helping mom, and also dad in some cases doesn't only amount to rent, utilities and groceries, but they often have health problems at their advanced age, many have diabetes which is extremely prevalent under the Latino population.
The Red Cross like medical care they receive from the State is mediocre, seldom pays when life-threatening operations are necessary with people above a certain age and the entire family has to chip in to pay for surgery in a private clinic, if they can come up with the money that is, if not the patient is doomed. With a gringo in the family this is no longer a problem of course, what self-respecting gringo could say no in a case like that and let someone die because of a few grand. After surgery fairly expensive medication is needed for the recovery process for which the state insurance doesn't pay of course, but at least the gringo is there to help.

You have to be very careful since the beginning how generous you want to be with her and her family or you will be nickled and dimed to death and once you helped everyone as best you could it's very difficult to stop the bleeding or your relationship with her and the family will never be the same as you suddenly turned into a tacaño, a miser.
It has also been my experience that many people here have no conception of handling money, don't worry about tomorrow, splurge on expensive sound equipment or drinking beer all weekend when the kids need shoes, nor can they accept that a gringo has limits of spending his hard-earned money.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on August 22, 2017, 06:14:41 PM
Haven't had time to read all these posts, so I may repeat what others have said. I am now in my third relationship with a colombiana. The first was an academic, a tall, slender caleña, very interesting woman, played the acoustic guitar like a pro and had a beautiful singing voice but was such a spendthrift that we drifted apart after 5 years. An excellent family though, almost all academics. She actually had 11 cousins of which every single one had studied medicine. She worked off and on teaching courses at universities but her income was a drop on a hot stone for her spending habits. She came from a family and from an ex husband with means and couldn't adjust to a regular guy like me.
The second was a costeña with a body that would make a grown man lose his senses and was excellent in helping out with Spanish and medical appointments and she even liked to cook. She had a diploma as a preschool teacher but found that kind of work too stressful and I ended up supporting her. I despised her family, except for one niece who was in her early teens and kind of spoke fluent English. This woman was 33 when we first met and almost 40 when we broke up. I tried to get out of the city since I'm basically a country boy but she didn't want any part of it as almost all Colombian women are extremely family oriented and like to live close to the family.
Be prepared if you're thinking of living in Colombia or returning here with your wife to live in retirement that wherever her family lives, that's where you are going to live with her. So if a colder climate like Bogotá appeals to you, don't look for a costeña bride or visa versa.
Well,  colombiana number three came into my life, almost two years ago, a small town woman from the deep South, a woman of color but with a pure Indio father and half my age. She loves to work, is very honest, decent and of good character and we get along great and I really like her family. Her and I do clash however in our political views as she likes Obama and I am a Trump supporter, hahaha. So I learned early in the relationship to avoid political discussions at all cost. I am northern European, I can't possibly put my self in the role of a Black person. They've had their problems with discrimination in the past, we've also had our problems, all my male ancestors being sent off to battle and dying young, except for one uncle who came back and actually lived to be 94.

I've learned since living here since 2005, most colombianas are materialistic and are convinced that gringos have unlimited funds.
A good number of colombianas are dreaming of a life in the United States, they see as a land of milk and honey. Many are disenchanted though after a while if friends and family can't see them and envy them in their modern home or driving their own car, so it often becomes meaningless.
For some colombianas it's more important to live in the United States then is the person who actually brought them there, her American husband. What ever you found enchanting when you met your bride, her unspoiled attitude, serving you on hand and foot and worrying about your well-being will soon fade away as she becomes Americanized, for a simple reason as has been mentioned here earlier, she will run into Spanish speaking people who will explain to her that she no longer lives in a men's world but has rights now that she could only dream off in her home country. This isn't always to your advantage, you will become less important to her and will soon find yourself doing the dishes when you get home from work while she is recovering from a stressful day of watching novelas on Canál Univisión.
If a colombiana has a son she sees in him the man she fell in love with but who deserted her - but her son will never leave her or betray her, he will always be her son, her flesh and blood and support her when she is too old to work, so she thinks. Might even be true in many cases.
The gringo will almost never be the most important person in her life. Accept that her son comes first, her mom second and you are third in line with any luck, before her daughter, her dad, her siblings and numerous other family members. Such is the Latin culture. Sometimes you are even reduced to not being more than her señor cajero, her Mr. ATM.
You are expected to care for her mom if your wife stopped working,  after you appeared on the scene . Few elderly people in Colombia receive any kind of old age pension and are dependent on help from the family. I had an experience that sons and daughters who all chipped in for years to help mom suddenly withdrew their help because I was there now with my 'unlimited' funds.
Helping mom, and also dad in some cases doesn't only amount to rent, utilities and groceries, but they often have health problems at their advanced age, many have diabetes which is extremely prevalent under the Latino population.
The Red Cross like medical care they receive from the State is mediocre, seldom pays when life-threatening operations are necessary with people above a certain age and the entire family has to chip in to pay for surgery in a private clinic, if they can come up with the money that is, if not the patient is doomed. With a gringo in the family this is no longer a problem of course, what self-respecting gringo could say no in a case like that and let someone die because of a few grand. After surgery fairly expensive medication is needed for the recovery process for which the state insurance doesn't pay of course, but at least the gringo is there to help.

You have to be very careful since the beginning how generous you want to be with her and her family or you will be nickled and dimed to death and once you helped everyone as best you could it's very difficult to stop the bleeding or your relationship with her and the family will never be the same as you suddenly turned into a tacaño, a miser.
It has also been my experience that many people here have no conception of handling money, don't worry about tomorrow, splurge on expensive sound equipment or drinking beer all weekend when the kids need shoes, nor can they accept that a gringo has limits of spending his hard-earned money.
Thanks for sharing.  Lots of hard earned wisdom in this post....
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Calipro on August 22, 2017, 11:03:54 PM


If a colombiana has a son she sees in him the man she fell in love with but who deserted her - but her son will never leave her or betray her, he will always be her son, her flesh and blood and support her when she is too old to work, so she thinks. Might even be true in many cases.The gringo will almost never be the most important person in her life. Accept that her son comes first,



I can accept that her son comes first....because I plan on putting our son or daughter first.

With all the women to choose from..... why would you ever marry a woman with another guy's children.
And if you did...... why would you ever complain about it.


I also think every man should put his mother ahead of his wife....for the simple reason that no woman will ever love you more or be more loyal to you that your own mother. So she can love her mother more than me if she wants.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on August 22, 2017, 11:41:31 PM



I can accept that her son comes first....because I plan on putting our son or daughter first.

With all the women to choose from..... why would you ever marry a woman with another guy's children.
And if you did...... why would you ever complain about it.


I also think every man should put his mother ahead of his wife....for the simple reason that no woman will ever love you more or be more loyal to you that your own mother. So she can love her mother more than me if she wants.

No one will ever love me unconditionally like my mom. One of the great things about my wife is she's great with my mom. She bathed her after surgery , cooks for her, and has patience with her no one else does... But I know of a Venezolana who treats her husband like an atm even though he's raising her two sons by another man, and she treats his mom poorly to boot ...i would never tolerate a woman who disrespected my mom. That, along with mistreating my kids, would be absolute deal breakers...
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on August 23, 2017, 08:47:00 AM
All this talk about rankings, number one, 2, 3, 4..


Who cares, these are different types of relationships..


This aint "Sophies choice"


Even if you feel you are lower on the totem pole than the family dog...why worry about it? If you are getting what you want out of the relationship..


If not..just move on..
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: vikingo on August 23, 2017, 10:40:33 AM
Don't anyone get me wrong, I agree that anybodies mother should come first. The way many Colombian women are fuzzing over their son is debatable though as many mothers have a tendency to excuse bad behavior, find excuses for everything and spoil the kid to no end. That has been my observation anyway with several single mom's. An example on gf#1: "Why didn't your son finish law school?" " Because being an attorney in this country is a very dangerous profession". An other question on mother in law of gf #2: Why doesn't your son work and relies on the income of his wife?" (a cashier at Western Union). "Because he is 40 now and can't find work". She failed to mention that he got fired from his last employment as a security guard because he got caught drinking on the job and that was the end of his career. They also have three children, two are minors.
The newcomer on the forum asked for advise, I shared my experiences so the man knows what problems he could be faced with. I believe it's always best to be prepared for the worst. The biggest hurdle with Colombian women for me was how much their decisions are influenced by their families and how siblings and cousins are envious of her because she is better off now with a gringo in her life, even to the point of talking bad about foreigners in general.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on August 23, 2017, 08:20:19 PM
You all have great points. Vikingo you did sound a bit grim on the topic, but, IT IS good to know and be prepared for the worst.  Im from NY and i speak to tourists and people out of state all the time and I give them the same speech about NY's worst things that can happen.  This allows them to avoid getting robbed, wripped off or taken advantage of. If they can avoid these things and enjoy their time in NY, they will love it.  I don't hate NY, in fact im enjoying it now more in my older years. With that being said i wouldn't want to marry ANYONE from NY or stay in NY to live the rest of my life. That's just me, but Im just making a point about giving advice.


On another note, I'm also from the carribean or at least my family is, but i was raised here in America....... which is different than being American in some ways. And i've heard some family say the good the bad and the ugly about the American culture, but when we travel to some of the islands people want you to help them come to America by marriage or some other family arrangements.  One thing that America is lacking these days is patriotism, every country should have that.  But also every person that comes to america should understand the constitution and american government and how it works in it's own right.  This is what makes America the greatest country in the world.  My wife is going to be a person that understands this fully and is ok with Trump being president or she's not welcome.  These days that kinda arguing can end a relationship.  Things are bad these days. Family is all you got there in the carribean in some cases, not because of poverty either, but many times it's because of patriotism and love for your people and your country and for God.  Not necessarily in that order.  It's just the way it's always been and before all the conquering went on.  It's not just Colombia trust me. (Disclaimer: My dad came here legally and served in the US Army).
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Nevertheless, here's my point.  Travel the islands, south america, Asia and wherever and make some friend like Rob says. If you let that become part of your life you will understand more about that carribean life or that countries life and why women do what they do when they get to America. Even bad separated family members stick together in these countries, so I at least know and can see from the experiences i'm reading in the forum, that some of you guys may not be as close to the family or your wife as you may think. I hope you can dance salsa, speak a little spanish, especially the funny side of the language (understand the humor).  And if the family likes you, that's a winner.  I hope that i can make that happen, cause i know after the honeymoon the truth about you and her will reveal itself fully.


One of the few times that i saw american's really stick together was during 911.  I was right in the middle of it. I sheltered a couple of american guys that lived in the city until it was safe for them to go home and i'm from BROOKLYN ok!! BROOKLYN!! We don't do that [snip]! And there was no Air B&B back then.


Very thankful for your advice in this forum guys. I'm learning and re-learning a lot. Can't wait to be able to post my experiences hopefully when i get there.


Vikingo, i have to say, you were brave to go back there 2 more times after your first experience.  I guess it was still worth it huh???


When i was younger and didn't know better i used to be upset at one of my dad's quotes:
"Being married should be like buying a car. You should be able to trade up every 5 years ".
Now i kind of agree.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: vikingo on August 24, 2017, 09:59:12 AM
Actually, I never left this part of the world Neo, except to visit my son and the little granddaughter in the States.
I am definitely a one woman man, but when the relationship gets out of hand I start all over again without looking back.
I still get mail occasionally from the two exes but we live far apart now.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on August 24, 2017, 07:57:36 PM
I hear ya Vinkingo. What matters is that your happy pursing how you want to pursue.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: John W on September 04, 2017, 05:14:22 PM
Here is story to give a little insight into what I have learned about Colombian’s loose relationship with the truth.  Before I start off, I want to preface it by saying I consider my mother-in-law to be a very good person.  Her husband left her with three kids age 2-5 when she was about 23 years old.  She raised her kids by working 16 hours a day, six days a week for about 17 years.  Her and my wife raised and cared for one of my sister-in-law’s children.  Two of my sister-in-law’s three kids call my mother-in-law “mother” and their mother by her first name.  I also consider my wife to be a good person.

After my wife had been here in the US about a year, she got her green card and wanted to work.  I told her she could keep all the money she earned and use it for whatever she wanted, but that I just wanted her to start paying for her own clothes and the money we send to her mother every month.  We were sending my mother-in-law about 600,000 COP per month.   When my wife started working, she started sending my mother-in-law more money.  My mother-in-law was living in the same small two room basement apartment (300,000 COP/month) that she and my wife shared prior to my wife moving to the US.  First my mother-in-law moved into a much nicer, and larger one-bedroom apartment that cost 570,000 COP per month.  Then, my wife said that her mother was going to move into a two-bedroom apartment that cost 700,000 per month, and take in a college boarder who would pay for rent, meals, and clothes cleaning, giving my mother-in-law an additional source of income.   My wife said we would only need to pay for her rent, and then she would have additional income from the boarder.  Well, it turned out that the boarder was a friend of my wife’s nephew, and he did not like one of his friends living with his grandmother, so per my wife, the arrangement only lasted about two weeks.  I thought it was odd that the nephew would have such a problem with one of his friends being his grandmother’s boarder.
 
My mother-in-law had been living in this two-bedroom apartment for a while before I finally see some pictures of it.  It is a two story with a spiral stair case to the upper level where the bedrooms are located, awesome kitchen, and a very nice yard.  While my wife was working, she did not tell me exactly how much money she was sending home, but I figured it was somewhere around 1.2-1.5 Million pesos a month.  I told my wife that when she stopped working, I was not going to send that much money back to her mother.  Well, eventually my wife quit her job because she was pregnant.  I paid the rent for the new apartment and had to send additional money for living expenses.  I did this for two months before I finally told my wife that her mother did not need to live alone in that apartment, and that she should live with a family member, like most other older Colombian’s without a source of income.  I said we could send money every month to help out, but I did not want to pay for the apartment and all the other things we needed to pay for.  About the time that my wife and I are starting to argue over the pending decrease in the monthly stipend back home, I find out that the protesting nephew who did not want his buddying living with his grandmother, is living in the two-bedroom apartment with grandmother.  I might add that this nephew’s father (who is no longer with the nephew’s mother) has money.  I was really upset that I was paying for this apartment while the nephew was living there, and even more upset that my wife knew the whole time and never said anything to me.  I told my wife that the nephew’s father should pay half the rent if he was going to live there.  The nephew is in college and was living with his other grandmother, but he was unhappy there because she made him get up early in the morning and help clean the house, and she would not cook him breakfast in the morning.  My wife tells me there is no way the nephew’s father will help out with rent since he is already paying for the nephew’s college tuition.  I finally told my wife that I would no longer pay for the apartment, and my wife was furious.  We had the second worst argument we have ever had since she got here.  After time, my wife got over it and my mother-in-law gave notice that she was moving.  While my mother-in-law was moving, my wife learns that the whole time my mother-in-law has had the apartment, my wife’s brother has been living in the second bedroom (turns out the nephew was sleeping in the living room.)  My wife’s brother has a law degree, works for the federal police, and by Colombian standards makes good money.  My wife was furious at her mother for never telling her that the brother was living there the whole time.  The brother was helping out by paying part of the utilities, so he was not living there for free, but he was not paying for part of the rent.  My wife failed to see the similarity in her not telling me about the nephew and her mother not telling her about the brother.  After this whole debacle, I went back to sending a flat 600,000 COP per month, although that is usually increased due to someone’s birthday or some other need during the month. 
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on September 06, 2017, 06:38:31 PM
Wow John, wow!


I've heard similar stories about family back in the islands.  And when you meet someone from a poor country, they end up being very slick when it comes to money. And if they have a big family, you can't give in to their crying for help. You were definitely right to hold your ground, your wife will respect that. I know some men that would always back down and complaining to their guy friends, but won't man up and tell their wife no.  That [snip] gotta be cut from the root of the relationship. 


Thanks for the insight brotha!
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on September 07, 2017, 09:32:23 AM
I've just heard so many times that lying is pretty much seen as 'normal', to the point where if they're even cognizant that they are lying, or just not telling you (lies of ommission are often the worst) they think by not telling you, they're nobly saving you from burdensome worrying, doing you a favor you should actually be thankful for.

 I think that some of them can't differentiate from an outright lie, 'fibs' and the truth.

That and if they have a male child, the "little prince" scenario, are ongoing issues I couldn't deal with.

A woman's mother? Well, I can see her putting her on a pedestal,  but even then, I need to know how much money's being wired a month.

Once they start lying, leaving you out of the loop, it's just that---- a START.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: utopiacowboy on September 07, 2017, 02:42:39 PM
I have never sent any money to my wife's family. I am sure she has given family members money but what she does with her money is her business not mine. OTOH, I have always taken care of her three children as my own. Even though this is against the PL party line, her three children have been a source of much happiness in my life.


Who wouldn't want to get a text message like the one I got from my stepdaughter yesterday:


"Thank you for all your help. I appreciate it more than you know. I love you!"
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on September 07, 2017, 11:17:18 PM
I have never sent any money to my wife's family. I am sure she has given family members money but what she does with her money is her business not mine. OTOH, I have always taken care of her three children as my own. Even though this is against the PL party line, her three children have been a source of much happiness in my life.


Who wouldn't want to get a text message like the one I got from my stepdaughter yesterday:


"Thank you for all your help. I appreciate it more than you know. I love you!"

I mis 'spoke' when I said: "I need to know how much". It's not how 'much' and it's not about how often, either. It's more that I simply know that she sends her Mom money occasionally.

Just like I know she sometimes sends her Rn sister in Dubai money to help pay for prep courses for additional medical nursing certification exams, exams that will lead to higher pay there and more international opportunities elsewhere.

For her Mother, it's not a regular, every month thing. It's for very occasional, unexpected expenses, basically the occasional treat for the love and devotion she's always shown the family, sometimes for a medical reason, because we want her to see a better dr., go to a better hospital. Besides, it doesn't cramp our standard of living much at all, if any.

But it's more the fact that she doesn't have to--and doesn't feel the need to hide it or be deceitful.

Also, since we helped her siblings through college and they're working and are self sufficient, they help their Mother financially too nowadays. It's sort of 'natural'--proceeding on kind of a plan we always sort of expected, and that's a lot different than a wife trying to hide sending money, or enabling learned helplessness in the family to some extent.

Too often, that scenario gets to where you're unnecessarily supporting able bodied relatives, who more and more have crisis requiring more and more money, despite them previously getting by pretty much fine before you became their personal ATM.....

Teach em how to fish, buy them a rod, some tackle and a net, rather than buying them seafood for the rest of their lives!
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 08, 2017, 06:29:46 AM
I have never sent any money to my wife's family. I am sure she has given family members money but what she does with her money is her business not mine. OTOH, I have always taken care of her three children as my own. Even though this is against the PL party line, her three children have been a source of much happiness in my life.


Who wouldn't want to get a text message like the one I got from my stepdaughter yesterday:


"Thank you for all your help. I appreciate it more than you know. I love you!"


What policy? To each his own. Who cares what others think.


If you are getting what you want out of he relationship-thats what counts.


Most guys wont go out with a women with 2 or 3 kids as a start.


I can tell you one kid is enough-especially if they are young and the mother cant get out on a date,very often


Then there is how the kid is. They say boys are worse than girls in Colombia. But this is a generalization. I have seen both cases..good and bad.


Really doesn't matter if you are supporting other mans kids, spoiling your trophy wife, even taking care of her family.


The point is  there has to be reciprocation, You are doing it from the bottom of your heart, without pressure, and they dont lie and take advantage of you-and abuse and manipulate you to get more...and you are getting"Love" , affection, appreciation in return.


This type of relationship is hard to find. And you are lucky to have it UC

Anything else-you are just Señor Cajero- a doormat, nobody respects.
Better off just going with prepagos.



Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: benjio on September 08, 2017, 09:58:13 AM
I have never sent any money to my wife's family.


I'm not sure how that became a package deal with Colombianas but at this point I wouldn't do it either. I've done it before out of generosity with HORRIBLE consequences each and every time. I've said it before and I'll say it again: ask them "What would your family do if you didn't know me?" The answer is find another way and continue to survive. Giving a girls family the impression you'll always be there as a financial crutch is treading on dangerous ground. At the very least they'll begin to resent you any time you say "No" if you've sent money before; and at worse they'll put themselves in a position where they absolutely count on your money to maintain their lifestyle. So if you lose your job or something else goes wrong they'll have to move out of an apartment or a kid will have to leave their private school, etc.


I was dating a beautiful Colombiana from Neiva a few years back. Probably the best woman I'll ever meet but I managed to mess that up. Oh well...that's what happens when you're living there and every other girl's giving you the "come on over here big boy!" look. Anyway, I remember being on the phone with her and her friend was there inviting her to go shopping. She told her friend she didn't really have the money. Her friend suggested she ask me for the money and my girlfriend at the time refused, telling her I had my own financial responsibilities to take care of. Her friend them asked her "What's the use in dating a "rich gringo" if he's not going to give you money when you need it." I'll never forget her reply..."For the same reason I would date a poor Colombiano...because I love him." That's the type of woman you should be looking for....and I honestly wouldn't settle for less than that.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on September 08, 2017, 01:40:01 PM

I'm not sure how that became a package deal with Colombianas but at this point I wouldn't do it either. I've done it before out of generosity with HORRIBLE consequences each and every time. I've said it before and I'll say it again: ask them "What would your family do if you didn't know me?" The answer is find another way and continue to survive. Giving a girls family the impression you'll always be there as a financial crutch is treading on dangerous ground. At the very least they'll begin to resent you any time you say "No" if you've sent money before; and at worse they'll put themselves in a position where they absolutely count on your money to maintain their lifestyle. So if you lose your job or something else goes wrong they'll have to move out of an apartment or a kid will have to leave their private school, etc.


I was dating a beautiful Colombiana from Neiva a few years back. Probably the best woman I'll ever meet but I managed to mess that up. Oh well...that's what happens when you're living there and every other girl's giving you the "come on over here big boy!" look. Anyway, I remember being on the phone with her and her friend was there inviting her to go shopping. She told her friend she didn't really have the money. Her friend suggested she ask me for the money and my girlfriend at the time refused, telling her I had my own financial responsibilities to take care of. Her friend them asked her "What's the use in dating a "rich gringo" if he's not going to give you money when you need it." I'll never forget her reply..."For the same reason I would date a poor Colombiano...because I love him." That's the type of woman you should be looking for....and I honestly wouldn't settle for less than that.
Wow Benjio that Neiva gal was a keeper....
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: benjio on September 08, 2017, 02:00:15 PM
Wow Benjio that Neiva gal was a keeper....


HELL YEAH SHE WAS!!! Pretty sure I've written about her on here before. A quick search for Neiva should locate the posts. It's not a city we talk about often.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Calipro on September 08, 2017, 10:29:17 PM

I'm not sure how that became a package deal with Colombianas but at this point I wouldn't do it either. I've done it before out of generosity with HORRIBLE consequences each and every time. I've said it before and I'll say it again: ask them "What would your family do if you didn't know me?" The answer is find another way and continue to survive. Giving a girls family the impression you'll always be there as a financial crutch is treading on dangerous ground. At the very least they'll begin to resent you any time you say "No" if you've sent money before; and at worse they'll put themselves in a position where they absolutely count on your money to maintain their lifestyle. So if you lose your job or something else goes wrong they'll have to move out of an apartment or a kid will have to leave their private school, etc.



I also never sent money to any of my wife's families.....My first colombian wife's family could have really used the help but they never asked and I never offered. But she did send money home to mom as soon as she got a job. I think that may have been what motivated her to go to work as fast as she did.


After that I never got in a serious relationship with any Colombiana who's family was really poor. My last wife's family would have thrown the money back in my face if I tried to give them money.


And even the family of my current girlfriend is self sufficient. Her mother occasionally invites us out to diner and actually insists on picking up the tap.


But I don't think this is the norm for guys that  are looking in marriage agencies and or for women that are that are actively seeking out gringos for marriage. Because the main reason women start down that path is not because Colombian men are machistas but rather because the women are rather poor.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: vikingo on September 09, 2017, 08:29:52 AM
Well Neo, do you still think I sounded grim after reading John W's story?
The way I got a break of paying the rent for the in-laws,  the bride pays for their utilities, food, clothes and medications from the money she earns,  the two of us with the help of her niece, who makes decent money for Colombian standards, built a small house in the bride's hometown on a lot she owned for about 10 years and had been making payments on.
The concrete block construction without any tile work except for the kitchen counter came to about 14 million pesos, for a 2 bedroom 2 bath (one has only piping so far) 70 m² home with a patio in back and a terrace in front. It happened this summer in a small town of 60,000 with the contractor and hardware store owner known by the family for decades though and the lot already having a foundation for future construction. In and around one of the bigger cities the construction cost could easily be triple plus the price of a lot. She paid 2 million for the lot, 2 million for the foundation  and tried to sell the lot for 12 million until her niece came forward and said she would pay for the first 1500 concrete blocks to build a home for her grandparents. I took the bait, lol. Two months later, last month, the old couple moved in, overjoyed of finally being in their own home.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on September 09, 2017, 02:10:55 PM
I'm just very glad that my wife works and 99.9% of the money she sends home is money she earns and it's NOT for her family's fluff and fun. They all work, again, that money comes from her salary and it's really just a small part of her income. She still has plenty left to spoil me, lol...

It's a whole different dynamic if your wife doesn't work, tougher yet if she did and sent money from her work to back home, then had a kid/s,  has to stay home, can't work and wants you to keep paying the same amount.

Too often I see families overseas get too used to money from the USA coming in, to the point where they can't imagine surviving without it. Sounds like Puerto Rico!! And then they resent us!

No, our cars are on the old side, but they're good, our house over seas is paid for, our USA home a bit over half paid for. Other than our $750 a month mortage, we basically have no debt.

I will probably retire next year, pulling maybe 3 to 5% from savings to keep our current income at least as high, then get a 1%1/2  cost of living increase in January and then another in July, making more than I did working. Stupid me, it took me too long to realize I'd actually make more money, especially in a few years, only IF I retire! Besides, I can still pick and choose part time work if I want, if I need something important, like another Swiss watch or a Porsche, lol.

My wife wants to keep working, but we're worried that the 3 or 4 weeks vacation a year she now gets, isn't enough to do the traveling we want to do---Europe, Asia, Iceland, etc.

She got behind once on a a credit card, but learned her lesson there very well, never happened again.

When the worst international disaster world wide that year hit her family's village in 2013, (typhoon Pablo),--they were at ground zero, killing thousands there and my family in the USA all helped out, helping to rebuild homes, to replant the scoured land,  but who the hell with a heart wouldn't? That was a one time situation, letting the survivors survive and raise enough food to restore a self sufficient economy.

But don't go putting yourself into an ongoing welfare payer capacity for her family, as it's a whole lot easier to put yourself into that role than it is to get out of it. You won't see it, but every month, they'll be running to get that check like it's Chistmas eternal. And don't think it'll buy you respect, sucker....

And if you initially roll into her nation, into her family's consciousness, as a 'fat cat', as a high roller, and most of us DO go in, living larger and looking richer than we actually are, you're only setting yourself up for a royal flush, not too far down the road....

If you gave and then lessen, they'll probably look down on you as a loser, a failure, a cheap ass gringo who 'of course' has it all, but is too selfish and greedy to share. In a way, regardless, you can't win with some families, as many (not all) have preconcieved mindsets. But in beginning, as in the end, it's all on YOU.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: vikingo on September 10, 2017, 08:07:09 AM
For any newcomer on here, money management with a foreign bride should be absolutely your first priority.
Benjio's ex bride from Neiva is an extremely rare exception. By far the great majority of any women in the third world, not just colombianas, expect to better their usually dire economic position. You'll be venturing into an entirely different culture with very strong family ties, which was a necessity of survival since days gone by. The Colombian government actually uses expected family support as an excuse not to help the elderly financially nor the disabled who can no longer work. They get nothing. And just about any Latina supports her mom, sometimes both parents like in my case, and usually at least one child from her meager wages.
To this equation you can add that most women have a habit of borrowing from friends and family members, sometimes from the lady down the street who makes a living lending small amounts of money and in some cases collects small payments daily.
Few of these women have any idea what a budget is and they often start borrowing money during the last days of the month for bus fare to be able to get to work.
Naturally you the gringo are not heartless and want to help and now you are walking a tightrope, whatever you do to help in the beginning is expected from then on like has been said before and if you try to stop the bleeding her enthusiasm for you and that of the family will diminish in most cases.
I fell on my face twice in Colombia and lost a lot of money over the years.
Now in my third relationship I told her in the very beginning: I am a firm believer in a budget (naturally I had to explain to her what a budget is). The three of us (she has a 10 year old daughter) are going to live on my US$1000 pension. My savings I will only touch in a dire emergency. You use your income to support your parents,  pay their utilities, their food , clothing and medications. There are necessary things we need and the rest are luxury items and can wait.
A couple of necessary 'emergencies' already took place. The first, the free state insurance her parents have didn't want to pay for needed open heart surgery for her dad because of his age at 83 and the family was ready to accept that he would soon die.
(We are considering an IPS insurance for her parents at this moment.)
I disagreed and offered to pay half of the surgery in a private clinic if the family collects the other half of the 3 million pesos. And they did. That was over a year ago and after a seemingly endless and complicated recovery involving some expensive medications and moving him by my incistence from the Pasto hospital where he was first taken by ambulance and where he caught pneumonia to recover in Neiva which has much warmer temperatures, the man is doing fine now at 84.
The second incidence was the construction of the home which set me back $1500, but at that price, who could resist?

Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Calipro on September 10, 2017, 09:39:15 AM

Few of these women have any idea what a budget is and they often start borrowing money during the last days of the month for bus fare to be able to get to work.



While this is an accurate generalization overall.....I have found that Paisas are head and heels above the rest of Colombianas when is comes to money management.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on September 10, 2017, 10:45:41 AM
Yes, yes, Vinkingo. Man talk about DEEPTHROAT. I'm totally getting a better picture here. Apologies for my ignorance. I kinda forgotten some of these things about traveling back to the islands and how money is a factor. My dad used to always say, don't go back home (Trinidad) acting like you have money, like you're some kind of bigshot.


Money management is always a very good idea when getting married, but it seems apparent here that it's a VERY important factor if you're looking for a wife in Colombia. Even here among us in the US it's one of the leading causes of divorce without all the other [snip] we have to deal with.


Benjio, I'd like to second or third the fact that your x-wife is a winner.  That's a unicorn right there.  I'm not gonna forget her comment.


Boys, all of these truths are very eye opening. Guys tell me is it still worth it????
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on September 10, 2017, 10:52:29 AM
Calipro, are the costenas really that bad when it comes to money?  I thought i read before that places like Medellin, Cali, and Bogota were bad? Which paises are good for a visit?
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Calipro on September 10, 2017, 03:06:19 PM
Calipro, are the costenas really that bad when it comes to money?  I thought i read before that places like Medellin, Cali, and Bogota were bad? Which paises are good for a visit?

I don't know that I would say that costeñas are "that bad with money".

My experiences with colombianas and money is anecdotal.

But from my experiences paisas are better with money overall on average
But my guess would be that there is probably a stronger correlation between the relative wealth of any particular girl and how good she is with money than anything else

People like to take jabs at poor Colombian women and their attitudes towards money
But there is an upside to them....they are highly motivated to marry gringos even if they can hardly speak Spanish and are willing to move away from their friends and family and everything they have ever known....for the chance at a better life.....that has to be worth something
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Mimo1357 on September 10, 2017, 04:23:55 PM
The otherside of aftermath

I meet my wife and her two young children in Peru.
We were married 4 years while she was living in Peru, it was sometimes stressful because I would have to return to the States for medical treatment due to being a 100 percent disabled vet.
I would stay two to four months in each place, always working on visa papers.

I was basically shocked that someone was given me any attention given my condition at that time however I should have know , when she said do not leave me single that a life of total destruction was coming.
I finally was told by the USCIS that they were approved for travel.
Men pay attention...I lost everything.
After receiving a permanent Visa and getting to Texas it was 60 days and her and Her children disappear.
She made a 180 from the person I knew.
I lost my disabled home to her , i had to sale everything to cover what I was barrowing.
Febuary 2017 i finally had to claim bankruptcy.
I did not know, what I did not know.
I later learned that the cousin I met who married another retired military man had the same thing happen to him.
I should have paid attention to The small things.

Be careful , ask me questions, I will provide only what you need to know.
Not all are bad. Due to loosen everything I had to move to south America to simple survive. I have met a woman who has never ask about going to the US.  I know the family and friends and this is what you must do to learn exactly who they are.
And a big tip... if get closed are cells go under a book or something when you walk in the room. ???There are things you need to know.
I spoke with an immigration lawyer who generally fights for the immigrant, who said this is text book to a certain training to get a visa.
Just becareful.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 10, 2017, 04:39:29 PM
Yes, yes, Vinkingo. Man talk about DEEPTHROAT. I'm totally getting a better picture here. Apologies for my ignorance. I kinda forgotten some of these things about traveling back to the islands and how money is a factor. My dad used to always say, don't go back home (Trinidad) acting like you have money, like you're some kind of bigshot.


Money management is always a very good idea when getting married, but it seems apparent here that it's a VERY important factor if you're looking for a wife in Colombia. Even here among us in the US it's one of the leading causes of divorce without all the other [snip] we have to deal with.


Benjio, I'd like to second or third the fact that your x-wife is a winner.  That's a unicorn right there.  I'm not gonna forget her comment.


Boys, all of these truths are very eye opening. Guys tell me is it still worth it????

Trinidad is a wealthy country compared to Colombia.

When I was in Trinidad; I asked "What do you think of Colombian women?"

The guys replied"Most of dem.be Hos, mon"

"OH COME ON NOW. NOT ALL.OF THEM ARE WHORES..STOP YOUT GENERALIZING"

I replied


"OH sure mon, some of dem Hos be Venezuelans o Dominicans"
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Calipro on September 10, 2017, 04:54:48 PM
Trinidad is a wealthy country compared to Colombia.

When I was in Trinidad; I asked "What do you think of Colombian women?"

The guys replied"Most of dem.be Hos, mon"

"OH COME ON NOW. NOT ALL.OF THEM ARE WHORES..STOP YOUT GENERALIZING"

I replied


"OH sure mon, some of dem Hos be Venezuelans o Dominicans"

What difference does it make what country the guy is from

I know guys that think all women are hoes and they are to them
It's the only way they will ever get laid Jajaja

Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on September 10, 2017, 08:48:54 PM
Hahah, are you sure you went to trinidad?  We don't say ya mon, jamaicans talk like that.


Nevertheless, it's the same all over. Everyone has the wrong idea about other countries, their peoples, or whatever until they actually go there and experience it for themselves.  May people in the carribean islands from the costal countries along northern colombia to Aruba to Venezuela on up all the way to cuba all have the same general behavior and characteristics.


For instance, Puerto Ricans don't generally get along with Dominicans, until they get to America. But when they are in their home countries, they even have something to say about their own people that don't like in their particular people. That's just how people are.



Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on September 10, 2017, 09:16:31 PM
Mimo,


That's what scares me the most!! Loosing everything.  What about having pre-nuptials set up? What also falls into that category is life insurance plans. What do you guys recommend about those?


I was just watching an episode of American Greed, some wealthy guy with 2 kids married this beautiful younger woman (She was american latin woman) after his divorce of a couple of years.  She claimed to have a PHD, lots of other credentials and for her age (26), his sister thought it was kind of suspicious. She dated him for a while before they got engaged and later married. At some point in their marriage, the husband gets shot in his own home 6 times by some mystery person. The young wife totally had an alibi. Later on, they found out about all types of checks that she had been writing herself and about the side bf (young ex-football player). He was the hot wifes side bf patsi, typical setup. I'm sure many of you guys have seen movies like this, but this happens in real life often as you may also know. 


It just always shocks me how a guy can be sleeping with the enemy for years and not see the signs. Not to take away from the fact that many of these types of women are expert liar's and deceivers. Scary!
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Calipro on September 10, 2017, 11:16:12 PM
Mimo,


That's what scares me the most!! Loosing everything.  What about having pre-nuptials set up? What also falls into that category is life insurance plans. What do you guys recommend about those?



I think the most important thing to do....is to ask yourself....Why do I want to find a wife overseas?


If the answer is because I want to bang a young hot wife every night....then look into a prenup.


If the answer is because I want to have a family and keep her around to death do us part....think long and hard about putting all your assets into an irrevocable trust before you tie the knot.


Only leave life insurance to a woman that actually has your children.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 11, 2017, 06:06:20 AM
What difference does it make what country the guy is from

I know guys that think all women are hoes and they are to them
It's the only way they will ever get laid Jajaja


It is only a joke....


But that is kinda the generalization Colombian Women have had outside of Colombia..Trinidad, Aruba, Costa Rica, Panama, Peru, Spain....Dubai


At least util recently..

And the guys are all Narcos or Sicarios

Yes just a gross generalization...and mostly untrue... but you hear it all the time.. at least you did 5 or 10 years ago
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 11, 2017, 06:10:44 AM

Ok we be saying dat when we be Liming and whining with the girls in de disco to Socha music


Are you convinced now?

Hahah, are you sure you went to trinidad?  We don't say ya mon, jamaicans talk like that.


Nevertheless, it's the same all over. Everyone has the wrong idea about other countries, their peoples, or whatever until they actually go there and experience it for themselves.  May people in the carribean islands from the costal countries along northern colombia to Aruba to Venezuela on up all the way to cuba all have the same general behavior and characteristics.


For instance, Puerto Ricans don't generally get along with Dominicans, until they get to America. But when they are in their home countries, they even have something to say about their own people that don't like in their particular people. That's just how people are.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 11, 2017, 06:17:49 AM

I think the most important thing to do....is to ask yourself....Why do I want to find a wife overseas?


If the answer is because I want to bang a young hot wife every night....then look into a prenup.


If the answer is because I want to have a family and keep her around to death do us part....think long and hard about putting all your assets into an irrevocable trust before you tie the knot.


Only leave life insurance to a woman that actually has your children.


How about just getting a job or some type financial independence where you can live overseas (say Colombia) and keep all your assets out of the country.


Then you don have these worries about losing everything. Then you just go with the flow.


More secure than the best prenup ever invented.


Keep your honey (s) overseas, and your money back home.



Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 11, 2017, 06:30:05 AM
Mimo,


That's what scares me the most!! Loosing everything.  What about having pre-nuptials set up? What also falls into that category is life insurance plans. What do you guys recommend about those?


I was just watching an episode of American Greed, some wealthy guy with 2 kids married this beautiful younger woman (She was american latin woman) after his divorce of a couple of years.  She claimed to have a PHD, lots of other credentials and for her age (26), his sister thought it was kind of suspicious. She dated him for a while before they got engaged and later married. At some point in their marriage, the husband gets shot in his own home 6 times by some mystery person. The young wife totally had an alibi. Later on, they found out about all types of checks that she had been writing herself and about the side bf (young ex-football player). He was the hot wifes side bf patsi, typical setup. I'm sure many of you guys have seen movies like this, but this happens in real life often as you may also know. 


It just always shocks me how a guy can be sleeping with the enemy for years and not see the signs. Not to take away from the fact that many of these types of women are expert liar's and deceivers. Scary!


This happens all the time on a smaller scale in Colombia.


But if you live here, you can weed the stuff out.


The best thing to do is move to Colombia (OR DR, OR Peru, or Ecuador, or etc.). And keep all your assets back in the US.


And only bring them on a tourist visa to the US, at the very most.


Then if you run int the situation, no big deal. she takes you for a bit..you find out..her Moso beats her cuz she dumps him for you..you dump her..she goes back to the rats and cockroaches..you say "Next"..


But in reality any sane guy would not get to a marrying stage with a girl like this in Colombia. Even if he was thinking with his little head, all his friends would warn him, and eventually it would sink in-


Most smart guys would just go with these type of girls for 3 or 4 months just for fun, not any longer.


Thats the risk of the WOVO mentality of latching on to the first girl you see, dragging her a$$ back to the EEUU like a little portable "R and R"
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: benjio on September 11, 2017, 10:01:55 AM

But in reality any sane guy would not get to a marrying stage with a girl like this in Colombia. Even if he was thinking with his little head, all his friends would warn him, and eventually it would sink in-


Most smart guys would just go with these type of girls for 3 or 4 months just for fun, not any longer.


Thats the risk of the WOVO mentality of latching on to the first girl you see, dragging her a$$ back to the EEUU like a little portable "R and R"


I think for once you're giving the average gringo more credit than he deserves Expat.  ;D IMHO the only thing keeping most men sensible that live in a place like Colombia is options; not intelligence and definitely not advice from friends. We all know there's another one right around the corner down there, so for once some of us manage to ignore the little head and protect ourselves. Put the average gringo in a more "scarce" environment regardless of geography and that "hoe into a housewife" idea becomes so much more feasible.


You were absolutely right about one thing. The only real way to protect yourself is leaving them there and leaving your assets north of the border. I believe an ex-wife may be entitled to a bit of the king's fortune but the divorce settlements women are getting these days are ridiculous.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: utopiacowboy on September 11, 2017, 10:54:13 AM

This happens all the time on a smaller scale in Colombia.


But if you live here, you can weed the stuff out.


The best thing to do is move to Colombia (OR DR, OR Peru, or Ecuador, or etc.). And keep all your assets back in the US.


And only bring them on a tourist visa to the US, at the very most.


Then if you run int the situation, no big deal. she takes you for a bit..you find out..her Moso beats her cuz she dumps him for you..you dump her..she goes back to the rats and cockroaches..you say "Next"..


But in reality any sane guy would not get to a marrying stage with a girl like this in Colombia. Even if he was thinking with his little head, all his friends would warn him, and eventually it would sink in-


Most smart guys would just go with these type of girls for 3 or 4 months just for fun, not any longer.


Thats the risk of the WOVO mentality of latching on to the first girl you see, dragging her a$$ back to the EEUU like a little portable "R and R"


You are giving the Colombianos way too much credit. My brothers-in-law were living large dating high school girls but eventually even they succumbed. One of them married this woman that we were all convinced had some kind of bruja spell on him. She wasn't even that great looking and she was milking him like a cow and treating him like a slave.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: benjio on September 11, 2017, 11:08:40 AM
.....we were all convinced had some kind of bruja spell on him. She wasn't even that great looking and she was milking him like a cow and treating him like a slave.




If she was milking him like a cow in more ways than one the spell probably wasn't the problem.  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on September 11, 2017, 11:19:52 AM
When I'm overseas in a 3rd world country, I try not to stick out too much. I dress decent and clean, but while I'm not rich, I try not to talk about money. I tend to downplay my home, car, salary, net worth and standard of living. I don't discuss many details about my family, other than that we get along well.

As said, we tend to go over there bearing expensive gifts, treating them to resorts, pricey restuarants etc. That's not sustainable, although they may very well expect it to be.

It's often worth while when you meet a woman you're seriously considering, giving your travel expense money budgeted for your trip and observing first hand how she handles the money. Might cost you more upfront, but save you a ton later if you find she spends irresponsibly.

If her not knowing that you make a decent income and live fairly well is a hinderance, you probably don't want to get serious with her.

It's reasonable for her to want to know if you have a stable job, but beyond that, it can be dangerous, as she almost can't grasp how different,  how much less a USD actually gets in the US compared to in her country.

I know that to me when traveling overseas, especially when the exchange rate is in our favor, I sometimes handle and spend money like it's monopoly bucks--an air of unreality sets in. But if it was someone ELSE's money I handling, it'd be different.

I think that both parties have always married hoping for better things to come as a result, including lifestyle, but once people have an idea of how well off the other person is before marriage, it over rides how they weigh other aspects of who and what you really are., including negative chracteristics. All of a sudden, your farts don't smell so bad. But those negative characteristics will eventually grate on her. That's why you see young, total foxes marrying feeble old, limp dicked guys who are mega wealthy.  Think of the classic old Eagle's song "Lyin Eyes".

"City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won't have to worry
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style
Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only
Given to a man with hands as cold as ice
So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the cheatin' side of town"

Re. that Military man who got taken to the cleaners by a Peruvian woman with two kids, like many relationships gone bad, I always remember lines from the great Bob Seger song, '"Against the Wind"

"And I remember what she said to me
How she swore that it never would end
I remember how she held me oh-so-tight
Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then"

Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 11, 2017, 05:07:33 PM

You are giving the Colombianos way too much credit. My brothers-in-law were living large dating high school girls but eventually even they succumbed. One of them married this woman that we were all convinced had some kind of bruja spell on him. She wasn't even that great looking and she was milking him like a cow and treating him like a slave.


Yes it happens to them to. And other foreigners besides gringos.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: robert angel on September 11, 2017, 05:33:48 PM

Yes it happens to them to. And other foreigners besides gringos.

It happens. It took four years to take full effect, but despite my chanting: "No, no, no----She's too young, too pretty, too well educated too nice, nobody can be THAT low maintainance for very long"--- eventually I succumbed to her spell.

https://www.google.com/search?q=frank+sinatra+witchcraft&oq=frank+sinatra+witchcraft&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l3.13810j0j4&client=tablet-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

To think we'd be married close to 16 years now had I not dragged my feet, blows my mind.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: TechGromit on September 11, 2017, 07:05:18 PM
I guess the thing that would scare me the most sending money to her mom/relatives every month would be the exchange rate. Today the exchange rate is around 3,000 pesos to the dollar, and was  low as 1,600 pesos (2008) to the dollar.  If they get used to a set income every month from you and the exchange rate changes, the 600k allowance you send, could easily double how many dollars you have to budget for every month.  I'm sure they are not going to want to hear you can't send the same because the exchange rate changed.

P.S. I hope they don't start asking me calculus or differential equation questions for the Math verification.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on September 12, 2017, 08:34:57 PM
Elexpatriado, I hear you. Sometimes things get lost in translation writing as opposed to face to face chat, but i understand what you mean. We all have a little jamaican in us mon.


Very interesting ideas on how to deal with getting married to a colombian and not loosing everything. I'm going to have to parse all this good information into a file for my records before i make some moves.


It seems it's just something i'll have to learn while i got boots on the ground.  All this advice will help, but I'll have to say, I have some things tying my down in american that i'd first have to deal with. I'm definitely not looking for a gorgeous, lazy, pretty face type of wife.  I've had lots of fun over the years with beautiful girlfriends.  A good looking (doesn't have to be gorgeous) potential wife that wants to settle down to make a family would be right up my ally. 


Wish me luck!

Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on September 12, 2017, 09:11:26 PM
Good point Tech.  I totally like the idea of wifey getting a job and working to send her parents money and I just take care of her and my families needs.  This way she can see the value of how much she's sending vs how much things cost here in the US. See I'm learning.



Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Neoblk40 on September 12, 2017, 09:31:25 PM
Robert, it must have been your patience that granted you a successful 16 years long marriage. That's quite an accomplishment.  As they say in carpentry, measure twice or thrice and cut once. 4 years maybe 3 sounds like a good time to wait to truly get to know someone especially if she's overseas. Maybe less idk. Taking your time MUST avoid many mistakes.  Well noted. 
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: mambocowboy on September 13, 2017, 11:54:55 AM
Robert, it must have been your patience that granted you a successful 16 years long marriage. That's quite an accomplishment.  As they say in carpentry, measure twice or thrice and cut once. 4 years maybe 3 sounds like a good time to wait to truly get to know someone especially if she's overseas. Maybe less idk. Taking your time MUST avoid many mistakes.  Well noted. 
As far as getting to know someone, living together is by far the best way.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: vikingo on September 13, 2017, 11:27:37 PM
I keep seeing suggestions on this board about irreversible trusts or having her sign a pre-nuptial agreement. First of all, if you bought a property many years ago but are still making mortgage or car payments only the equity you had accumulated before marriage is solely yours, the increased value of the property over the years becomes community property. In any event you want to hang on to documentation of your equity before marriage. Every state has different divorce laws, familiarize yourself with the law of your State, you can google it. In many divorce cases her friends will recommend an attorney who is out for blood and he will ask the Judge to set aside (ignore) a pre-nuptial or irreversible trust, demonstrating the divorcee is now going to be a burden of the State, being left out in the cold without qualifications to find a job or lacks language skills to continue a life she is accustomed to. You will be pretty well at the mercy of the Judge and how sharp your attorney is, you are also more at risk in liberal coastal States.
There are nine community property States in the US, where everything accumulated during marriage is divided 50/50. Colombia has adapted the same law for the entire country, except if she can prove that she lived with you for two years or more without marriage or a 'Unión Libre' agreement, half your accumulated assets during the two years or more become hers. I doubt very much that a Colombian Judge will pay attention to a pre-nuptial or any kind of trust and leave one of his citizens out in the cold. also keep in mind that judges in LA countries can be bought by either side (through your attorney or hers) for a couple of grand or more depending on the amount at stake.
I am not an attorney but the only surefire way I can see in the States is to put title of your property in the name of a family member you can trust, so you don't own anything, except stuff like furniture and appliances or an older car. I am not a friend of lies but you can't tell her of course that the house or new car is yours. This title change would have to be done at least a year in advance of the marriage. The Courts will set aside recent changes.
Should you shack up or get married in Colombia, the only sure way to hang on to your major assets is keeping them out of the country, Colombian Courts can't touch them. It has been tried though in cases of lots of wealth involved by a couple of sharp attorneys who set up shop in Colombia. They mysteriously disappeared from the scene of the crime though and it is assumed that they fell victims to sicarios (hired assassins).
If you want to do something for her after your death and she has been a good girl, you can always put her in your will.


Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: benjio on September 14, 2017, 07:58:47 AM
It has been tried though in cases of lots of wealth involved by a couple of sharp attorneys who set up shop in Colombia. They mysteriously disappeared from the scene of the crime though and it is assumed that they fell victims to sicarios (hired assassins).


I wonder if this was an isolated incident that we've both heard something about at one point or another, or if it happens often enough to have evolved pass the level of urban legends. Either way I have heard of a moderately wealthy European Gentleman who was with a Colombian Girl for a while. They may have even had children. When they split he kind of left her high and dry...and if I recall correctly it was her fault. Cheating and/or stealing from him. Something of that nature. Anyway, some big shot lawyer convinced her they could get a hold of some of his assets back in Europe because of his business interest in Latin America. I guess whoever the lawyer was, he was building a legitimate case so he ended up disappearing. In the story I heard the girl was not harmed but needless to say she had no more interest in pursuing the case any further.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 14, 2017, 11:04:54 AM
I keep seeing suggestions on this board about irreversible trusts or having her sign a pre-nuptial agreement. First of all, if you bought a property many years ago but are still making mortgage or car payments only the equity you had accumulated before marriage is solely yours, the increased value of the property over the years becomes community property. In any event you want to hang on to documentation of your equity before marriage. Every state has different divorce laws, familiarize yourself with the law of your State, you can google it. In many divorce cases her friends will recommend an attorney who is out for blood and he will ask the Judge to set aside (ignore) a pre-nuptial or irreversible trust, demonstrating the divorcee is now going to be a burden of the State, being left out in the cold without qualifications to find a job or lacks language skills to continue a life she is accustomed to. You will be pretty well at the mercy of the Judge and how sharp your attorney is, you are also more at risk in liberal coastal States.
There are nine community property States in the US, where everything accumulated during marriage is divided 50/50. Colombia has adapted the same law for the entire country, except if she can prove that she lived with you for two years or more without marriage or a 'Unión Libre' agreement, half your accumulated assets during the two years or more become hers. I doubt very much that a Colombian Judge will pay attention to a pre-nuptial or any kind of trust and leave one of his citizens out in the cold. also keep in mind that judges in LA countries can be bought by either side (through your attorney or hers) for a couple of grand or more depending on the amount at stake.
I am not an attorney but the only surefire way I can see in the States is to put title of your property in the name of a family member you can trust, so you don't own anything, except stuff like furniture and appliances or an older car. I am not a friend of lies but you can't tell her of course that the house or new car is yours. This title change would have to be done at least a year in advance of the marriage. The Courts will set aside recent changes.
Should you shack up or get married in Colombia, the only sure way to hang on to your major assets is keeping them out of the country, Colombian Courts can't touch them. It has been tried though in cases of lots of wealth involved by a couple of sharp attorneys who set up shop in Colombia. They mysteriously disappeared from the scene of the crime though and it is assumed that they fell victims to sicarios (hired assassins).
If you want to do something for her after your death and she has been a good girl, you can always put her in your will.


Now you are creating legends Vikingo. Dick Dickersen and his Dicks  are still around.


They just gave up on the whole idea (going after your US or overseas assets from Colombia) because it was so ludicrous and impractical. Like French kissing a snake an not expecting to get bit. Or having an African migrant stow away in the landing gear of a jet liner and becoming and claiming refugee status in the US.


Sure theoretically possible , but as likely as a camel going through the eye of a needle.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 14, 2017, 11:06:26 AM

Now you are creating legends Vikingo. Dick Dickersen and his Dicks  are still around.


They just gave up on the whole idea (going after your US or overseas assets from Colombia) because it was so ludicrous and impractical. Like French kissing a snake an not expecting to get bit. Or having an African migrant stow away in the landing gear of a jet liner and becoming and claiming refugee status in the US.

Or DIAN seizing your overseas assets-

Sure theoretically possible , but as likely as a camel going through the eye of a needle.
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 14, 2017, 11:12:42 AM

I wonder if this was an isolated incident that we've both heard something about at one point or another, or if it happens often enough to have evolved pass the level of urban legends. Either way I have heard of a moderately wealthy European Gentleman who was with a Colombian Girl for a while. They may have even had children. When they split he kind of left her high and dry...and if I recall correctly it was her fault. Cheating and/or stealing from him. Something of that nature. Anyway, some big shot lawyer convinced her they could get a hold of some of his assets back in Europe because of his business interest in Latin America. I guess whoever the lawyer was, he was building a legitimate case so he ended up disappearing. In the story I heard the girl was not harmed but needless to say she had no more interest in pursuing the case any further.


Urban Legend. Total BS


I am going to tel you guys a secret-


I am still "Married" on paper to a Colombiana, and I have absolutely no fear of her or anyone else going after my assets..dont lose a wink of sleep overnight


As a matter of fact, working in the oilpatch, I new of guys "married" to 4 or 5 different girls in different countries, and it never phased them a bit.


Only an idiot lawyer with nothing else to do would waste his time and money on this.

You would have to spend 100s of thousands to get anywhere at all
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: benjio on September 14, 2017, 12:42:54 PM

Urban Legend. Total BS


I am going to tel you guys a secret-


I am still "Married" on paper to a Colombiana, and I have absolutely no fear of her or anyone else going after my assets..dont lose a wink of sleep overnight


As a matter of fact, working in the oilpatch, I new of guys "married" to 4 or 5 different girls in different countries, and it never phased them a bit.


Only an idiot lawyer with nothing else to do would waste his time and money on this.

You would have to spend 100s of thousands to get anywhere at all


Always sounded a bit far-fetched to me as well. You hear stories like this all the time in Colombia though.


Let me be the first to say I'm surprised as hell you're married to a Colombiana regardless of the circumstances though Expat. Was this a past relationship that didn't work out? A female friend that desperately needed a visa? Don't leave us hanging here. Details MAN!!  :o
Title: Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
Post by: Elexpatriado on September 14, 2017, 01:38:03 PM
The first.

I dont sell visas.