In Medellin Now

[robert angel]

Personally, I cant see how someone can get so wrapped up with a person they only have viewed through an 18" X 12" screen, and they havent met in person, dont even know if they like each others phermones....
 
Then when they finally meet, they hit it off, and date for a couple weeks, and someone proposes marriage...come on already, is this reality? Or is it just lonliness,I feel real good now, and if it doesnt work out, hopefully she just goes back home and doesnt bother me...
 
I know dating back home is rough, life can get lonely, but you have to use a little common sense before you get really "serious", and maybe think a bit more with the big head than with the little one...

Come now, Elexpatriado! Didn't they have instant kool aid and instant oatmeal when you were a kid? Wonder Bread? Where's your 'conditioning'? We used be able to save, we learned to wait--to anticipate, Then we got to the point where we want it NOW!. Now we'd like it yesterday, but looking fresh and good today too! We're like the bad kids touring Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory-My--look over there--Violet's turning Violet! 

[Awesome]

It's called a point and click wife.


Do you really think that some dorkball from idaho has the time, money, balls, or desire to go spend months at a time in some dangerous third world sh*thole trying to find "true love"?


For 99% of the "wife hunters" colombian cupid-->skype-->fly down for a week and propose-->wait for her to show up 6 months later visa in hand process is the only way to go.  It's just simply the very best they can manage.  Is it ideal?  No but it's still a million times better than all of the other sad, lonely bastards who have no hopes of dating or marrying a decent looking woman.

[Elexpatriado]

I guess I agree with you... but I am amazed some over-weight Dorkball living on a ranch in  Moose-Dick falls Idaho, who only speaks Rosetta stone Spanish, wears hawain t-shirt and a bermuda shorrts on his first trip to Colombia, never been out of the country before, can marry a beautiful barrio girl, bring her to MooseDick Falls (or Chicken- Beak Alabama)in an isolated community, and they will live happily ever after in marital bliss...with only the 20% divorce rate claimed...
 

It's called a point and click wife.


Do you really think that some dorkball from idaho has the time, money, balls, or desire to go spend months at a time in some dangerous third world sh*thole trying to find "true love"?


For 99% of the "wife hunters" colombian cupid-->skype-->fly down for a week and propose-->wait for her to show up 6 months later visa in hand process is the only way to go.  It's just simply the very best they can manage.  Is it ideal?  No but it's still a million times better than all of the other sad, lonely bastards who have no hopes of dating or marrying a decent looking woman.

[Hector_Lavoe]

I guess I agree with you... but I am amazed some over-weight Dorkball living on a ranch in  Moose-Dick falls Idaho, who only speaks Rosetta stone Spanish, wears hawain t-shirt and a bermuda shorrts on his first trip to Colombia, never been out of the country before, can marry a beautiful barrio girl, bring her to MooseDick Falls (or Chicken- Beak Alabama)in an isolated community, and they will live happily ever after in marital bliss...with only the 20% divorce rate claimed...

That might be true for the sterotypical guy you describe. But let's be fair here. Both Ace and StevieBoy are the two most recent P.L. members to have used the so called "Skpe" method. Neither of them meet the "dork" guy stereotype you describe. They both posted photos and they both have the ability to get chicas stateside. They just happen to prefer what is available south of the border.  I agree in an ideal world we'd all get to take a 90 day leave of absence and spend serious time down there. Absent that even guys with so called "game" are apparently finding this a valid method......sure beats the North American dating scene.

[Elexpatriado]

I was being toungue in cheek with the description. Still from my personal perspective, for anyone, no matter how youg, old, attractive or not, looking up someone on an internet site, skyping her a couple months using google translator, visiting her for 2 weeks , then waiting 6 months for the visa to pass until she comes is kinda like "Requisitioning a little portable R&R" rather than a real relationship.
 
Irealize it has worked for some people, but my recommendation is and always will be "Take your time, tread lightly, measure twice, cut once"...

[the_ace33]

If you've got the time, money for repeated trips to distant nations where you can get by speaking the language, along with a fast internet connection, it can get real easy to take this internet dating thing casually. You just go on-line and every day there's photos of new babes, some cuter than the day before. Window shopping from the comfort of your own home or wherever your smart phone might be.

Sure there are players on both sides and to some extent or another, we're all players. But we can get pretty jaded and callous about these women, some who like some of the guys, have hopes and dreams they hold pretty high and dear, only to see them dashed.

I've let some down and I've been let down myself. I guess we can just hope to try and make it as humane as possible. It takes more courage to explain the 'why' you stopped calling, e mailing or taking calls, than to just totally stop corresponding.

The way I see it, people just seem to care less about each other as individuals as international correspondence has become so easy.

All very good points,  I know that I can get right back on the site and get new prospects immediately as could my Medellin girl... However when a girl treats me right and we seem to get along well I want to give the relationship a fair chance.  I believe I have found a great match and if I am thinking with my big head I think the compatibility is right.  The girl I spoke of here has issues and probably not work out but we can be friends and you never know..  I have given it some thought and my Medellin girl is the one I would like to marry when she is ready and willing.  That said I will have to have patience and do my best no to put undue pressure for now.... My goal has always been to get married if possible..

[the_ace33]

I am not about to give up any information that is too personal but pics are fun and harmless...

[Awesome]

I believe the ace33 has the right attitude and gameplan.

[Elexpatriado]

Now your talkin...
 

All very good points,  I know that I can get right back on the site and get new prospects immediately as could my Medellin girl... However when a girl treats me right and we seem to get along well I want to give the relationship a fair chance.  I believe I have found a great match and if I am thinking with my big head I think the compatibility is right.  The girl I spoke of here has issues and probably not work out but we can be friends and you never know..  I have given it some thought and my Medellin girl is the one I would like to marry when she is ready and willing.  That said I will have to have patience and do my best no to put undue pressure for now.... My goal has always been to get married if possible..

[buencamino]

Moose-Dick Falls? I heard of a rumbera caleña who married a Norwegian cop and moved to a Norwegian village in the boonies. Wonder how that'll pan out...

[Bob_S]

"Take your time, tread lightly, measure twice, cut once"...

It gets damned frustrating and painfully expensive when you realize you mis-cut, have to scrap, and try again.  A few of us have gone through that.

[the_ace33]

well we talked and it seems that her university is causing a problem... She is 3 years into a 5 year Carrera,  and she does not want to disappoint her family,  however we did talk about that before the trip and she said that she would consider ditching the program for me,  If she does not change her mind I don't know what we can do... I could possibly move there temporarily,  but the point I keep trying to make is what matters more is the future and where she would like to be at..  It kind of makes me wonder if she is just not sure about me..  I think I have made it clear that I am willing to follow through with what we talked about which was being together here in the states.  So if that is not going to happen atleast not any time soon then I have a choice to make... I do not really want to start over but I don't want to waste my time either...

[Awesome]

well we talked and it seems that her university is causing a problem... She is 3 years into a 5 year Carrera,  and she does not want to disappoint her family,  however we did talk about that before the trip and she said that she would consider ditching the program for me,  If she does not change her mind I don't know what we can do... I could possibly move there temporarily,  but the point I keep trying to make is what matters more is the future and where she would like to be at..  It kind of makes me wonder if she is just not sure about me..  I think I have made it clear that I am willing to follow through with what we talked about which was being together here in the states.  So if that is not going to happen atleast not any time soon then I have a choice to make... I do not really want to start over but I don't want to waste my time either...

I think I see what's going on here.  If she bails on that 5 year carrera to follow you back to the states that means she's going to basically throw the three years that she did complete straight into the trash can.  That's alot to ask of somebody, especially somebody that you barely know.


The ace33, has your girl told you how long she's been on the gringo dating site or if she's met any other gringos in person?  Or if any of her girlfriends have had any relationships with any gringos?  From what you've described about your trip and activities, by colombian standards you've spent a pretty penny wining, dining, shopping, and entertaining this woman.  That's great, as a casual, still getting to know you type of realtionship...but "let's get married and move to a foreign country"?  Seriously, what kind of woman just drops everything all of a sudden runs off to a foreign country to marry some guy she barely knows?


Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?  You might want to reread some of expat's posts.  (His serious posts, not his "humorous" ones.)




If you're trying to marry a paisa from laureles (strato 5 upper-middle class barrio) who's halfway through university, it's going to take alot more than a few weeks of skype and riding the cable-car up the mountain together.  You're going to have to put in some serious time into the relationship, minimum one year.


If you're looking for the quicky, point and click wife, you might have to shoot for a chica with a little bit browner skin and in the strato2-strato3 range.  Cali and barranquilla may be a little more suited to what you're seeking.

[the_ace33]

Seriously, what kind of woman just drops everything all of a sudden runs off to a foreign country to marry some guy she barely knows?

I would expect the kind of girl who puts on her profile that she is looking for marriage and willing to relocate to another country, not to mention that we talked of the scenario on more than one occasion...... and lets not forget that we agreed to be exclusive...
Who said anything about barely knowing? 

I don't mind waiting longer to get married but to continue the school or to complete it would is a waste of time and money if we are suppose to be planning a future together.   I don't care how educated or non educated or how light or dark the skin is, that is just common sense. 

[AndyLee]

Hi Ace,
It's a situation that comes up fairly often here in Colombia when you are dating the kind of woman that appeals to you who has both brains and beauty.  For a while I was dating a 3rd year student and the question was always "what about the next 2 years?". That relationship ended after two months because of other reasons, but had the relationship continued we would have had to make some serious lifestyle choices.
The women in Colombia don't have a very good chance for a decent job unless they have at least a 4 year university degree. Otherwise they work as contract workers for 3 or 6 months at a time in jobs that pay minimum wage or only slightly better. Or, if they have a vocational degree, such as in nursing, they work 80 hours per week for only slightly above minimum wage. Only 6% of the Colombian women ever get to go to university, compared to some 60% in the US.
Your girl might be able to continue her university program in the US. In most programs even if she graduates with a 5 year degree here in Colombia she will still have to do a year or two more in the US to come up to US standards for most professions. My first Colombian girlfriend was an attorney and then a judge in Medellin but when she moved to the US she had to go to another one year program at University of Pennsylvania so she could qualify to take the bar exam in the US.
Or, maybe your girl can do a 6 month on 6 month off program here in Colombia, which means she could live with you in the US for 6 months each year. Depending on which degree program she is in she might even be able to do some of the work via the Internet. I have two friends here in Pereira that are doing long distance Master's program in English through the University of Bogota. I'm their English speaking sponsor.
There is also the chance as you pointed out that your girl is using the University as an excuse to slow down or end your relationship. If that's the case then it's better for you to know now rather than later. In my opinion you could just ask her straight up if she wants you or not, and let the chips fall where they may. I know you've invested a good bit of yourself into this relationship, so I hope it doesn't fall apart on you. But, if it does there is the old expression that when one door closes another door opens.
Good luck with your process.

[mambocowboy]

I think I see what's going on here.  If she bails on that 5 year carrera to follow you back to the states that means she's going to basically throw the three years that she did complete straight into the trash can.  That's alot to ask of somebody, especially somebody that you barely know.


The ace33, has your girl told you how long she's been on the gringo dating site or if she's met any other gringos in person?  Or if any of her girlfriends have had any relationships with any gringos?  From what you've described about your trip and activities, by colombian standards you've spent a pretty penny wining, dining, shopping, and entertaining this woman.  That's great, as a casual, still getting to know you type of realtionship...but "let's get married and move to a foreign country" ?  Seriously, what kind of woman just drops everything all of a sudden runs off to a foreign country to marry some guy she barely knows?


Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?  You might want to reread some of expat's posts.  (His serious posts, not his "humorous" ones.)




If you're trying to marry a paisa from laureles (strato 5 upper-middle class barrio) who's halfway through university, it's going to take alot more than a few weeks of skype and riding the cable-car up the mountain together.  You're going to have to put in some serious time into the relationship, minimum one year.


If you're looking for the quicky, point and click wife, you might have to shoot for a chica with a little bit browner skin and in the strato2-strato3 range.  Cali and barranquilla may be a little more suited to what you're seeking.

my wife has a 4 year university degree. She paid off her student loans before bailing on her career in Colombia to come live with me in the States. She also has dark skin and comes from estrato 1...There seem to be some negative stereotypes about women from estrato 1, but my wife doesn't seem to fit them...

[AndyLee]

my wife has a 4 year university degree. She paid off her student loans before bailing on her career in Colombia to come live with me in the States. She also has dark skin and comes from estrato 1...There seem to be some negative stereotypes about women from estrato 1, but my wife doesn't seem to fit them...

well said cowboy……it always pains me when posters on this or other forums stereotype girls from different cities and from different barrios. It's like saying a girl from St. Louis is dumber than a brick while a girl from Los Angeles is smart and sophisticated. These types of generalizations, such as "if you want a dumb girl get a estrado 2 or 3 from Cali" are simply not a useful contribution to the thread. There are just as many intelligent women per capita in Cali as there are in Medellin or Bogota, and vice versa, in my opinion.
I could name for an hour or two the women I've met here who came from Estrato 1 or 2 or 3, (which is most of the country), who have put themselves through university and built a solid, decent career for themselves. I've been meeting this caliber of women right and left in every major city of Colombia for 4 years, so I'm pretty sure of what I'm saying.
One woman in particular was just 18 when she lost her mother to cancer, then six years later her father and her younger brother where assassinated by guerrillas who wanted to take over the farm. This woman and her sisters fled for their lives to live in a slum of Medellin where all three sisters went ahead and put themselves through university and the one who is my friend has a master's degree in pharmacy and had a 28 year career with an international company and retired when she was 50. Yet she came from a poor, disadvantaged background. I've heard dozens of stories of similar instances where Estrato 1 to 3 girls have become professionals like this.

[Awesome]

These types of generalizations, such as "if you want a dumb girl get a estrado 2 or 3 from Cali"

Who said that, andylee?  Oh wait, I think I know who said it.  Nobody.


The point I was trying to make to theace33 was if he's looking to do the quicky express wife thing, he might want to try what others have had success doing, and that is to go to cali or barranquilla and get a girl from a lower strata.  It seems like these women would be more motivated to drop everything and go to the states with him.


His other alternative would be to stick it out and actually develop a real relationship with his paisa girlfriend.  A relationship that goes beyond a few weeks of skyping and riding the cable car together.  He said he has the choice of living in medellin temporarily to be with her while she finishes up her studies.  I think that's a great idea.  If it's actual true love that he's after.


I really liked the rest of your post and mc's wife's background.  It's encouragaing to know there are plenty of high quality, smart, hard working women out there.

[the_ace33]

awesome I think I get your point and Andy sounds like you have some great information.. I was reading online today that it is not entirely impossible to get credits accepted depending on the institution and what they have to allow.  I would imagine with all of the colleges out there these days that something could work out.  Although I am a little frustrated with things I still think we have a decent chance of working out,  she has not shown an ounce of flakiness thus far.  so anyone with any information about transferring college credits please share.

[Bayas_Hombre]

Long time lurker, rare poster. A good friend of mine whose wife transferred nursing school credits followed the guidelines found here:

http://www.universitylanguage.com/guides/transferring-college-credits-to-the-us-from-colleges-abroad/

Hope that helps

[Bayas_Hombre]

This site also looks helpful:

http://www.foreigncredits.com/Credential-Evaluation/FAQ.aspx#q15

[robert angel]

With the exception of some university courses dealing with her nation's history and religion/s, all my wife's courses (transcripts)  were accepted in the USA by an excellent public university for acceptance into graduate school. No employers had issues with her transcripts or class work either.

No guarantee there though, I have been in college and grad school several times right here in the USA and on occasion have had to get a copy of an old syllabus to explain how a course was an acceptable equivalent of some course they wanted me to take.

[mambocowboy]

This site also looks helpful:

http://www.foreigncredits.com/Credential-Evaluation/FAQ.aspx#q15

Thanks Bayas, my wife and I have been looking for something like this for her nursing credentials....

[Elexpatriado]

The main thing is they should be educated and have a career of some sort...
 
Another Colombian dicho "sin educacion no hay corazon"..
 

well said cowboy……it always pains me when posters on this or other forums stereotype girls from different cities and from different barrios. It's like saying a girl from St. Louis is dumber than a brick while a girl from Los Angeles is smart and sophisticated. These types of generalizations, such as "if you want a dumb girl get a estrado 2 or 3 from Cali" are simply not a useful contribution to the thread. There are just as many intelligent women per capita in Cali as there are in Medellin or Bogota, and vice versa, in my opinion.
I could name for an hour or two the women I've met here who came from Estrato 1 or 2 or 3, (which is most of the country), who have put themselves through university and built a solid, decent career for themselves. I've been meeting this caliber of women right and left in every major city of Colombia for 4 years, so I'm pretty sure of what I'm saying.
One woman in particular was just 18 when she lost her mother to cancer, then six years later her father and her younger brother where assassinated by guerrillas who wanted to take over the farm. This woman and her sisters fled for their lives to live in a slum of Medellin where all three sisters went ahead and put themselves through university and the one who is my friend has a master's degree in pharmacy and had a 28 year career with an international company and retired when she was 50. Yet she came from a poor, disadvantaged background. I've heard dozens of stories of similar instances where Estrato 1 to 3 girls have become professionals like this.

[the_ace33]

thanks for those links, they look helpful.. I am doing some things to test the interest of this girl at the moment,  if she doesn't pass then it will be time to start over,  I am not as young as I look and I don't have time to mess around,  In my opinion you can get to know someone well by communicating through Skype and following up with a visit..  I can not think of one important thing that I did not learn about,  and I was able to get a gauge on important things such as reliability.  Some may call me impatient but I think 4 months is long enough to get to know someone,  I mean how complicated is it really to get to know someone?  If your in the market for something serious and the person has most of what your looking for then what more is there to know?  if one is not sure at this point then its probably best to just move on to the next candidate.