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Author Topic: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?  (Read 3495 times)

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Offline kai #2

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Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« on: July 31, 2014, 03:45:21 PM »
First off, I can't be shamed, it doesn't bother me and I don't mean this as a flame or anything like that against AA.


I have this female co-worker and she loves male-bashing. I've noticed a few common themes about those that try to shame.
1) They've never been overseas
2) They'll call a lot of the countries as 3rd world.  Most people that say 3rd world don't actually know what 3rd world means
3) They say the women are poor, since there poor they're easily manipulative
4) Most of these women are undesirable


I'm trying to talk to her, shes raising her voice and telling me how I can go to some 3rd world country and get one of those poor girls. Now mind you, this chick is fat, w/ kids. When I try to tell her the women are more chill and more feminine and take care of themselves. When I talk to a lot of women here and if I ask can I ask,"Can you cook" and she says,"I can microwave" at that point I'm only thinking if i can't bring her back home right now, I'm done with you. A lot of women in these other countries have home-making skills, women here do't seem to realize. The whole time I'm thinking, "Why the F*ck do you care?" We're not together, I don't want you and you don't want me. so WTF are you chastising me?


Whats the mindeset, It's not just women its guys as well

Offline InnocentVixen

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2014, 04:04:34 PM »
I have this female co-worker and she loves male-bashing....
I'm trying to talk to her, shes raising her voice and telling me how I can go to some 3rd world country and get one of those poor girls.... whole time I'm thinking, "Why the F*ck do you care?" We're not together, I don't want you and you don't want me. so WTF are you chastising me?


Well, you said it yourself, she loves male-bashing, that's why she is chastising you and whoever will listen. No need to explain yourself to her, but if you must, how about mentioning that poor girl can at least afford the manners she is lacking?


Just be glad you have options and pity that poor soul quietly.

Offline kai #2

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2014, 04:15:44 PM »

Whats weird about is that she'll start then I say something obviously to defend myself, then she gets offended. I'm like wtf. I can't avoid talking to her, I'm sort of at a lot as to what my options are


Well, you said it yourself, she loves male-bashing, that's why she is chastising you and whoever will listen. No need to explain yourself to her, but if you must, how about mentioning that poor girl can at least afford the manners she is lacking?


Just be glad you have options and pity that poor soul quietly.

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2014, 04:15:44 PM »

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2014, 04:53:02 PM »
Nobody chastises me. Maybe you guys are all hot studs and the local women are all peeved off you abandoned them. (or at leat you think that way), I am just a saggy balled old fart that minds my own business and dont go around flappin my gums in the airport about how American or Canadian women are so bad, and how I am such a stud cuz I date women half my age or less, who make one fifth what a McDonalds worker in Canada makes.

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2014, 04:56:25 PM »
I dont hang around fat women anyway, just Jocks (I mean real fat, not as picky as that Craig guy). Even worse with smokers. Cant stand smokers.

Offline robert angel

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2014, 05:15:51 PM »
First off, I can't be shamed, it doesn't bother me and I don't mean this as a flame or anything like that against AA.


I have this female co-worker and she loves male-bashing. I've noticed a few common themes about those that try to shame.
1) They've never been overseas
2) They'll call a lot of the countries as 3rd world.  Most people that say 3rd world don't actually know what 3rd world means
3) They say the women are poor, since there poor they're easily manipulative
4) Most of these women are undesirable


I'm trying to talk to her, shes raising her voice and telling me how I can go to some 3rd world country and get one of those poor girls. Now mind you, this chick is fat, w/ kids. When I try to tell her the women are more chill and more feminine and take care of themselves. When I talk to a lot of women here and if I ask can I ask,"Can you cook" and she says,"I can microwave" at that point I'm only thinking if i can't bring her back home right now, I'm done with you. A lot of women in these other countries have home-making skills, women here do't seem to realize. The whole time I'm thinking, "Why the F*ck do you care?" We're not together, I don't want you and you don't want me. so WTF are you chastising me?


Whats the mindeset, It's not just women its guys as well

Sounds like by trying to explain with even a crumb of reason and logic, you were fanning the fire with that broad--there was no ground to be gained. It's increasingly hard to be a guy in the USA and get treated decently by women--to treated like they're not doing you a big favor by letting you take them out. I think from what I've seen and heard from friends, being a black dude and trying to date--and it seems especially black women in the USA, it's a real thorny thicket sometimes. No wonder guys left, right and in between are looking overseas.
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

Offline JasonA

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2014, 06:04:16 PM »
The best way to shut up a woman like that is to hit her below the belt and act like you inadvertently hurt her feelings. It goes something like this...  "The reason that I'm looking abroad is that most single American woman are overweight, divorced, have kids or are bitches. Ohhh, sorry, hope I didn't offend you". <walks away>

Offline kai #2

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2014, 06:19:52 PM »

+1, I'm quoting this one


FT you're right but she'll say things on purpose to provoke me. Some times I fall for it, sometimes I don't

The best way to shut up a woman like that is to hit her below the belt and act like you inadvertently hurt her feelings. It goes something like this...  "The reason that I'm looking abroad is that most single American woman are overweight, divorced, have kids or are bitches. Ohhh, sorry, hope I didn't offend you". <walks away>

Offline fathertime

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2014, 06:53:27 PM »
+1, I'm quoting this one


FT you're right but she'll say things on purpose to provoke me. Some times I fall for it, sometimes I don't


Hi Kai,


That is funny that you quoted JASON yet attributed the quote to me.....it might as well could have been me, because I also liked what Jason said too! 


Now on to my point... Generally speaking I don't like playing defense in conversations with ladies....I don't get into these conversations much at all nowadays (like Expat)....but I sure wouldn't play nice or act defensive when i do get them.   


Lady:   Why did you go overseas to get a wife?


Fathertime:  Because I like attractive younger women...and look at my wife. 


If the conversation continues beyond this it would depend on the tone of her query's .   If she is respectful, curious, and supportive then I might go further...if she is a brat, she might feel insulted afterwords...But like I said, nobody much asks me disrespectful questions...


If you are younger/attractive then ladies are probably trying dissuade you from doing what you are doing...like most they don't like being left behind, it is uncomfortable for them...You could always play the condescending 'oh don't worry you will find somebody here in the states for yourself'' card...






Fathertime!   
09/08 saw morena goddess on Jamie's website
09/08Began writing/webcamming future wife
10/08Visited BAQ to meet future wife
12/08 Visited a second time and got engaged
01/09 Visa Paperwork done(williamIII)
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08/09Wife arrives
09/09Got married
11/10 son born

Offline pchip

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2014, 08:42:51 PM »
The best way to shut up a woman like that is to hit her below the belt and act like you inadvertently hurt her feelings. It goes something like this...  "The reason that I'm looking abroad is that most single American woman are overweight, divorced, have kids or are bitches. Ohhh, sorry, hope I didn't offend you". <walks away>


Oh sooo good :)  Although I'd rather play the silent card.  I have colleagues here who are basically telling me that I am crazy to marry again and especially a foreign woman.  I just laugh it off and walk away, all the time thinking "Man, if only you knew".  I have better things to do than to try to get my point across...

Offline michaelb

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #10 on: July 31, 2014, 09:03:23 PM »
Women chastise you because
a) It breaks their monopoly
b) Some women (sounds like the one you're dealing with) because they've been raised such that they believe "the man is always wrong" (at best)
c) They think (at worst) he's a manipulator who wants a weak little thing that he can push around.

Men do it because
a) They are jealous of they lady you bring back, especially when compared to the lady they have.
b) They don't have the courage to do it their self.
c) Both of the above.

Offline kai #2

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #11 on: August 01, 2014, 06:47:20 AM »

I like the way you think. Most of the male friends that haven't never been overseas and don't get the joys of a lot of foreign women. And you nailed it on the head w/ 'c) They think (at worst) he's a manipulator who wants a weak little thing that he can push around.' She did say that no one here would put up w/ my '$hit' but I'm actually a pretty easy going guy

Women chastise you because
a) It breaks their monopoly
b) Some women (sounds like the one you're dealing with) because they've been raised such that they believe "the man is always wrong" (at best)
c) They think (at worst) he's a manipulator who wants a weak little thing that he can push around.

Men do it because
a) They are jealous of they lady you bring back, especially when compared to the lady they have.
b) They don't have the courage to do it their self.
c) Both of the above.

Offline kai #2

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #12 on: August 01, 2014, 06:50:41 AM »
Women chastise you because

c) They think (at worst) he's a manipulator who wants a weak little thing that he can push around.



Can you expand on this please?

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #12 on: August 01, 2014, 06:50:41 AM »

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #13 on: August 01, 2014, 09:37:31 AM »
I don't know why you guys go on and on about what other people think about you and a foreign wife of girlfriend. The truth is, you and your girlfriend or wife just aren't that important in other peoples life.,,nobody really cares..people have their own life to live, their own issues..
I only had these type of conversations once with a Canadian Woman, and that was when my friend brought it up at a pub where an ex-female coworker was along, and he purposely tried to stir the pot up, and we were all drunk.
I have brought a couple Latinas to Canada and have never got any negative feed back, and never had any negative feed back (well, nothing overt) dating women much younger than me in Colombia.
I just mind my own business, and dont flaunt things and am quite and respectful (unlike my Intrnet personna). You guys must be forcing the subject and bringing it up in a controversial manner some way in the first place. I cant believe these women are all jealous of your GFs, cuz your all some type of Brad Pitts or something, and start attacking you out of the blue, or other guys say anything negative about it. I get just positive or neutral comments.
 
Women chastise you because
a) It breaks their monopoly
b) Some women (sounds like the one you're dealing with) because they've been raised such that they believe "the man is always wrong" (at best)
c) They think (at worst) he's a manipulator who wants a weak little thing that he can push around.

Men do it because
a) They are jealous of they lady you bring back, especially when compared to the lady they have.
b) They don't have the courage to do it their self.
c) Both of the above.

Offline kai #2

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2014, 09:48:11 AM »

you say that but in this case, it's a person at work. I cant avoid her and I know she says it to press my buttons. i generally don't let people talk trash about my choices and just roll over. You know how people that don't agree with you views will try to change them all together

I don't know why you guys go on and on about what other people think about you and a foreign wife of girlfriend. The truth is, you and your girlfriend or wife just aren't that important in other peoples life.,,nobody really cares..people have their own life to live, their own issues..
I only had these type of conversations once with a Canadian Woman, and that was when my friend brought it up at a pub where an ex-female coworker was along, and he purposely tried to stir the pot up, and we were all drunk.
I have brought a couple Latinas to Canada and have never got any negative feed back, and never had any negative feed back (well, nothing overt) dating women much younger than me in Colombia.
I just mind my own business, and dont flaunt things and am quite and respectful (unlike my Intrnet personna). You guys must be forcing the subject and bringing it up in a controversial manner some way in the first place. I cant believe these women are all jealous of your GFs, cuz your all some type of Brad Pitts or something, and start attacking you out of the blue, or other guys say anything negative about it. I get just positive or neutral comments.

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #15 on: August 01, 2014, 10:14:58 AM »
Dont know.. maybe people are just more laid back about this in Canada..because of multi-culturalism  and inter- marriage and all..or maybe its because I never spent a significant amount of time with a wife or girlfriend actually in one place for these things to come up (being a transient guy).. actually, when people ask me why I am in Colombia, I usually avoid the subject of women at all..
 
you say that but in this case, it's a person at work. I cant avoid her and I know she says it to press my buttons. i generally don't let people talk trash about my choices and just roll over. You know how people that don't agree with you views will try to change them all together

Offline LatinSharpei

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2014, 11:22:36 AM »
Personally she should not be engaging in that kind of conversation at work.  I would tell her to shut up and mind her own business. She is not and never will be your girlfriend so your personal life is off limits

Offline kai #2

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2014, 11:29:43 AM »

Pretty much this. You're right, no need to talk about my personal life or anybody elses for that matter at work or during workings hours

Personally she should not be engaging in that kind of conversation at work.  I would tell her to shut up and mind her own business. She is not and never will be your girlfriend so your personal life is off limits

Offline benjio

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2014, 02:59:30 PM »
Personally she should not be engaging in that kind of conversation at work.  I would tell her to shut up and mind her own business. She is not and never will be your girlfriend so your personal life is off limits


In an office environment I've found that's easier said than done. Most women I know tend to bring their personal lives to work with them on some level and expect a bit of reciprocal openness from everyone else. Out of all the women I've worked with in the U.S., I know how many children most of them have, their ages, their husbands' names, what they do for a living, etc. For a woman, family is livelyhood. Just passing by the smallest of spaces in a sea of cubicles will give you a lot of insight into a married woman's life (from the pictures of family), or even a single woman (from the pictures of cats). ;D Sometimes being too private or not displaying a willingness to socially interact can backfire in the work place. For some reason, even though we very rarely consider our co-workers as true friends, people subconsciously need some type of reassurance you're a normal, red blooded guy with a desire for companionship and fulfilling the American Dream. It's either that, or the rumors start flying around about you being gay, or making plans to come to the office with an assault rifle and killing everything moving (exaggerating of course). ;D

With all that being said, I definitely didn't share my plans of going to Jamie's 6 years ago with anyone I worked with. All they knew is I was single with no children and decided to take a trip to Colombia. I got a couple of cocaine jokes, but that was pretty much it. I had already made the assumption there would be some backlash if I shared such unorthodox intentions with my co-workers. They figured out I met someone while I was there after I returned because they'd walk into my office while I was on the phone or they'd overhear cell phone conversations of my then horribly broken Spanish. But even then I was vague about how my ex and I met.


Single Women in the U.S. that have a history of unsuccessful relationships are usually quite threatened by the notion of perfectly good men leaving the country to seek love abroad. A lot of assumptions they have come from the stereotypical clichés every American has about a man marrying a foreign woman, so I don't blame them for that. Women are extremely competitive when it comes to men though...even if that competition is thousands of miles away. I wouldn't worry about it though...no need to insult (directly or indirectly) a woman at work. That's a worse idea than telling them about you wife hunting in Latin America. Start throwing some divorce statistics at them for couples that consist of both a man and a woman from the U.S. and that'll usually give them a moment of pause. Outside of that you're under no obligation to explain yourself to anyone.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2014, 03:05:06 PM by benjio »

Offline buencamino

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2014, 03:55:54 PM »
Kai it is a hopeless discussion. That woman will never ever have the faintest clue, not until you sidle in one day with a stunning latina on your arm. It is the same with US men. When I visit the US I don't even bother trying to explaian what life and women are like in Colombia. The times I've tried I've just gotton a blank stare. Of course it might be fun to show her some pictures of the "undesirable" latina women you've met... ;D

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #20 on: August 01, 2014, 03:56:48 PM »
Sounds like there are quite a few "Dog Fochers" (as we say in the Canadian Oil Patch) in yer office. You say you work for a big oil company? Maybe your boss should go around and start kickin some arses and getting people to work. I worked as a contractor in the oil patch all over the world for  for over 30 years, and if I carried on like that and not producing, my ass would be grass within a few days. All this would be solved by someone with authority making the rounds and making sure people are "heads down and A$$ up"

In an office environment I've found that's easier said than done. Most women I know tend to bring their personal lives to work with them on some level and expect a bit of reciprocal openness from everyone else. Out of all the women I've worked with in the U.S., I know how many children most of them have, their ages, their husbands' names, what they do for a living, etc. For a woman, family is livelyhood. Just passing by the smallest of spaces in a sea of cubicles will give you a lot of insight into a married woman's life (from the pictures of family), or even a single woman (from the pictures of cats). ;D Sometimes being too private or not displaying a willingness to socially interact can backfire in the work place. For some reason, even though we very rarely consider our co-workers as true friends, people subconsciously need some type of reassurance you're a normal, red blooded guy with a desire for companionship and fulfilling the American Dream. It's either that, or the rumors start flying around about you being gay, or making plans to come to the office with an assault rifle and killing everything moving (exaggerating of course). ;D

With all that being said, I definitely didn't share my plans of going to Jamie's 6 years ago with anyone I worked with. All they knew is I was single with no children and decided to take a trip to Colombia. I got a couple of cocaine jokes, but that was pretty much it. I had already made the assumption there would be some backlash if I shared such unorthodox intentions with my co-workers. They figured out I met someone while I was there after I returned because they'd walk into my office while I was on the phone or they'd overhear cell phone conversations of my then horribly broken Spanish. But even then I was vague about how my ex and I met.


Single Women in the U.S. that have a history of unsuccessful relationships are usually quite threatened by the notion of perfectly good men leaving the country to seek love abroad. A lot of assumptions they have come from the stereotypical clichés every American has about a man marrying a foreign woman, so I don't blame them for that. Women are extremely competitive when it comes to men though...even if that competition is thousands of miles away. I wouldn't worry about it though...no need to insult (directly or indirectly) a woman at work. That's a worse idea than telling them about you wife hunting in Latin America. Start throwing some divorce statistics at them for couples that consist of both a man and a woman from the U.S. and that'll usually give them a moment of pause. Outside of that you're under no obligation to explain yourself to anyone.

Offline Calipro

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #21 on: August 01, 2014, 05:11:34 PM »
First off, I can't be shamed, it doesn't bother me and I don't mean this as a flame or anything like that against AA.


I have this female co-worker and she loves male-bashing. I've noticed a few common themes about those that try to shame.
1) They've never been overseas
2) They'll call a lot of the countries as 3rd world.  Most people that say 3rd world don't actually know what 3rd world means
3) They say the women are poor, since there poor they're easily manipulative
4) Most of these women are undesirable


I'm trying to talk to her, shes raising her voice and telling me how I can go to some 3rd world country and get one of those poor girls. Now mind you, this chick is fat, w/ kids. When I try to tell her the women are more chill and more feminine and take care of themselves. When I talk to a lot of women here and if I ask can I ask,"Can you cook" and she says,"I can microwave" at that point I'm only thinking if i can't bring her back home right now, I'm done with you. A lot of women in these other countries have home-making skills, women here do't seem to realize. The whole time I'm thinking, "Why the F*ck do you care?" We're not together, I don't want you and you don't want me. so WTF are you chastising me?


Whats the mindeset, It's not just women its guys as well


Instead of trying to explain why you prefer overseas women, try turning the tables and explaining what you don't like about American women and culture.


This book will give you plenty of ammo.


http://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood-ebook/dp/B00APDFXKO/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406934287&sr=1-1&keywords=men+on+strike

Offline robert angel

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #22 on: August 01, 2014, 06:07:07 PM »
I am so over snarky bitches feeling like (I guess) that they're somehow disenfranchised by the fact that I went overseas and got a great wife. I don't bring it up or encourage any conversation they may start, but I do enjoy how when I have to use my phone and a female sees her on my home screen and says 'Oh--pretty woman' and I say--"Yes--that's my wife--I'm a lucky fellow" and their eyes take on a certain look and I think about 5 pounds of hot air comes out of their usually fat asses. ;D
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #22 on: August 01, 2014, 06:07:07 PM »

Offline InnocentVixen

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #23 on: August 01, 2014, 06:30:25 PM »
Lady:   Why did you go overseas to get a wife?
Fathertime:  Because I like attractive younger women...and look at my wife.


Actually the last part would be enough of an answer in most cases, if you were married already that is  ;D

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Re: Why do people chastise men for going abroad?
« Reply #24 on: August 01, 2014, 07:05:57 PM »
If I was in your position I'd make it a point to ruin that broad's day every single chance I get.  She a fat chick male basher?  Oh yea I'd make sure I start conversations with other coworkers, knowing that she's listening, about going to hooters, hot chicks I saw on tv, bikini models on the internet.  I'd go out of my way to make her feel bad about herself.  I'd constantly start conversations about hot, thin chicks.  I'd show all of my coworkers photos of thin pretty girls I've dated.  Talk about eating healthy and working out.  I could go on and on.  I'd make that bitch have a nervous breakdown, jaja!!!

 

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