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Author Topic: Bit of a Dilema  (Read 84525 times)

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Offline robert angel

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #25 on: July 30, 2014, 11:08:18 PM »
Back in the winter, my wife put on a few pounds. One day, she was wearing this one pair of jeans that doesn't make her butt look good (only pair that does that). Leaving the house together, I started thinking, "maybe I should have tried for a chick with a hotter body".  When we got to the mall or wherever we were going, I started looking around at other women's butts (attractive women, not slobs). My wife's butt looked just as good as most even with her bad jeans on...

Sometimes life requires changing your perspective a bit!

Also, every now and then, when I'm pissed about being married (doesn't happen very often these days), I think to myself, "could I find a women as attractive as my wife with no kids, no divorce baggage, who doesn't care that I'm agnostic here in my area?".  The answer is a quick NO! She would be such a hot commodity, the competition would be lined up around the block.

Here's my advice-  how would you feel if you get down there and she's not exactly what you want physically, but she's very sweet and a fun person to spend time with? That's probably your worst case scenario with her (as long as she's not psycho and wants to harvest your kidneys and sell them). You would probably have a good time and have a local tour guide to show you around. If that doesn't sound too bad, then maybe you should go see her. But if you would be very disappointed with this scenario, then find a different girl or city.

JasonA, Great post man.Reps for having the guts to be honest like that. I think no matter how wonderful our wife and our marriage is, they'll be times when we miss the single life.And time takes a toll of sorts on everyone's appearance. My wife, as much as she tries to take care of the two of us, sees us inevitably aging noticeably, if slowly----me being older, a bit more noticeably. But if I start getting cocky, looking around, mulling my options if I were single and then realize she looks better than 98% of the women around here that are ten years younger than her, PLUS has a personality that forgives a lot of my , shall we say "imperfections"?------Like too many things in life that I've screwed up, if I let my marriage fail, I'm all but positive it'd be 99% my fault. I'd never get a babe with her qualities again. Sometimes I need to give myself a 'Reality Check!'
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Offline Chris F

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #26 on: July 30, 2014, 11:16:10 PM »
Hey Craig,
First..it doesn't matter what anyone here thinks of her. The only thing that matters is that you find her attractive.  I believe she is, but honestly that should mean nothing.

As you may be aware, my wife of 10 years is from Lima Peru. Other guys here like JimmySt louis also found his wife from Lima Peru.

My suggestion is this, go to see her, but also plan on meeting other women as well in Lima so you have a Plan B  and Plan C if it doesn't work out.

Only curious, which one of those pictures is the most recent? I notice the middle picture her  hair is bleached, which looks nice as well.
 
Good Luck
 
 
« Last Edit: July 30, 2014, 11:27:21 PM by Chris F »

Offline InnocentVixen

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #27 on: July 30, 2014, 11:46:23 PM »
I looove the replies so far, including the "offensive" ones, since I am sure it's all posted in a playful manner because OP is analyzing a bit too much and like I said before, he is trying too hard.

CDR, it sounds like she will still be there if you go to those agencies, why not use it as a test? if you still remember her after seeing a parade or two of sexy colombianas and none of them seem to be able to connect like she does, then go there just to meet her.

For all is worth:

- the first picture looks weird around the waist, might be an optical illusion and colors blending or might be bad photoshop.

- second picture she is showing her bra with a drink in her hand but might be just coincidence and it's not something that happens often.

- third picture is the most realistic of them all, she is obviously not tiny in the middle but she does not have a belly so odds are she is thicker than you like, but everything is firm and mostly in the right places. However she is in a bar, if this doesn't bother you forget I mentioned it... but you did say "innocent and sweet"

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #27 on: July 30, 2014, 11:46:23 PM »

Offline cdr1974

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #28 on: July 31, 2014, 12:07:20 AM »
Guys


Thanks for all the replies, comments and advice.


I woke this morning and realised I cannot get passed the fact about her weight, I have tried to look at it differently but I keep coming back to her weight. I am not looking for a stunner, I am realistic, but probably my number 1 thing I look for in a girl is her body shape, I only like slim petite girls, not a boob or ass man, these are not important to me as her frame is and in all my years of dating, I have only ever dating slim petite girls.
I feel things could never work out with this girl simply based on the above no matter how sweet of a girl she is or how good of a woman she is, I am never going to be satisfied with her body, never and this would only end in the long run.


She is a good woman and I do not want to hold her back from meeting a good guy who would adore her figure, but that man is simply not me, I cannot change in my mind what is attractive to me in a woman and it is always her figure to me, her build, again, not really fussed if she only looks like a 6 in her facial features, I could handle this far far more then if she has a few extra pounds.


I go to let this woman free to find a guy who would want her and then I can concentrate on my trip to bogota


Thanks again guys

Offline robert angel

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #29 on: July 31, 2014, 12:08:00 AM »
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but on profile pictures, pictures of girls in bars, in three different hotel rooms and/or half naked for people to make a first impression from, make my eye brows rise a bit. I might sound hypocritical because I posted a picture of my wife and I at the beach here before, but on a profile for a single female, I think it's a bit much, especially if it's the first 'lead in' profile pic.

Perhaps oddly, I'd be more put off by a picture of a gal standing or sitting at a bar with a 100 bottles of liquor behind her than I would be by a 'tasteful' non studio swimsuit snap shot from a day at the beach.

But hey, other than polite things said about my wife, no one here has ever said I have good taste or judgment, LOL!
« Last Edit: July 31, 2014, 12:16:57 AM by robert angel »
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Offline kai #2

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #30 on: July 31, 2014, 07:10:02 AM »

Let me talk to her then, I can put on her Kai's exercise plan and help here lose those stubborn few extra pounds

Guys


Thanks for all the replies, comments and advice.


I woke this morning and realised I cannot get passed the fact about her weight, I have tried to look at it differently but I keep coming back to her weight. I am not looking for a stunner, I am realistic, but probably my number 1 thing I look for in a girl is her body shape, I only like slim petite girls, not a boob or ass man, these are not important to me as her frame is and in all my years of dating, I have only ever dating slim petite girls.
I feel things could never work out with this girl simply based on the above no matter how sweet of a girl she is or how good of a woman she is, I am never going to be satisfied with her body, never and this would only end in the long run.


She is a good woman and I do not want to hold her back from meeting a good guy who would adore her figure, but that man is simply not me, I cannot change in my mind what is attractive to me in a woman and it is always her figure to me, her build, again, not really fussed if she only looks like a 6 in her facial features, I could handle this far far more then if she has a few extra pounds.


I go to let this woman free to find a guy who would want her and then I can concentrate on my trip to bogota


Thanks again guys

Offline robert angel

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #31 on: July 31, 2014, 08:23:11 AM »
Guys


Thanks for all the replies, comments and advice.


I woke this morning and realised I cannot get passed the fact about her weight, I have tried to look at it differently but I keep coming back to her weight. I am not looking for a stunner, I am realistic, but probably my number 1 thing I look for in a girl is her body shape, I only like slim petite girls, not a boob or ass man, these are not important to me as her frame is and in all my years of dating, I have only ever dating slim petite girls.
I feel things could never work out with this girl simply based on the above no matter how sweet of a girl she is or how good of a woman she is, I am never going to be satisfied with her body, never and this would only end in the long run.


She is a good woman and I do not want to hold her back from meeting a good guy who would adore her figure, but that man is simply not me, I cannot change in my mind what is attractive to me in a woman and it is always her figure to me, her build, again, not really fussed if she only looks like a 6 in her facial features, I could handle this far far more then if she has a few extra pounds.


I go to let this woman free to find a guy who would want her and then I can concentrate on my trip to bogota


Thanks again guys

Sounds good. Sounds like you're going to have more than enough to keep your head already spinning, taking an extra day or two to travel to meet one who you already had worries about, when you have a lot more ladies to sort through in one place didn't add up.
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Offline buencamino

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #32 on: July 31, 2014, 09:34:24 AM »

 
...wondering if you guys would be willing to comment on the above and her pictures, if you agree she is carrying a few extra pounds and if so, is this something you would disregard considering how nice of a woman she is................. She is the girl on the left with the glass in her hand in the 2nd picture....

In response to the above I would say yes she looks way too heavy especially in the jeans foto. That is not something you "disregard". That you even mention it shows that you're not comfortable with it. There are so many beautiful girls with great figures and nice personalitie in South America. Why on earth would you go through this enormous and costly effort just to "settle for less"? I would not waste the time and money to go see her.  Stick with your Bogota trip.

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #33 on: July 31, 2014, 09:38:38 AM »
Big question is, why did you have to air this thing in front of the "Peanut Gallery". Could have made the decison yourself in 5 minutes.
First the Ecuador girl, then this one inPeru, next it'll be one in Venezuela.
Women like men who make thier own decisions not rely on talking to dozens of people. It is also mentally exhausting.
I know,I used to be the same way until they gave me a frontal lobotamy.
Anyway, dont stop on account of me, its entertaining in its own way,
Guys


Thanks for all the replies, comments and advice.


I woke this morning and realised I cannot get passed the fact about her weight, I have tried to look at it differently but I keep coming back to her weight. I am not looking for a stunner, I am realistic, but probably my number 1 thing I look for in a girl is her body shape, I only like slim petite girls, not a boob or ass man, these are not important to me as her frame is and in all my years of dating, I have only ever dating slim petite girls.
I feel things could never work out with this girl simply based on the above no matter how sweet of a girl she is or how good of a woman she is, I am never going to be satisfied with her body, never and this would only end in the long run.


She is a good woman and I do not want to hold her back from meeting a good guy who would adore her figure, but that man is simply not me, I cannot change in my mind what is attractive to me in a woman and it is always her figure to me, her build, again, not really fussed if she only looks like a 6 in her facial features, I could handle this far far more then if she has a few extra pounds.


I go to let this woman free to find a guy who would want her and then I can concentrate on my trip to bogota


Thanks again guys

Offline cdr1974

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #34 on: July 31, 2014, 09:41:29 AM »

In response to the above I would say yes she looks way too heavy especially in the jeans foto. That is not something you "disregard". That you even mention it shows that you're not comfortable with it. There are so many beautiful girls with great figures and nice personalitie in South America. Why on earth would you go through this enormous and costly effort just to "settle for less"? I would not waste the time and money to go see her.  Stick with your Bogota trip.

Yeah your  right Buencamino, think it would eat away at me eventually, despite her being a really nice girl, the weight thing for me will not go away in my mind.
As you say, plenty of petite girls for me to meet in Bogota when I go down there, and a figure on a woman for me is one if not the mot important factors for me apart from being genuine of course. as I said, I would settle for a less attractive woman if she is petite,

Offline fathertime

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #35 on: July 31, 2014, 06:55:32 PM »

Yeah your  right Buencamino, think it would eat away at me eventually, despite her being a really nice girl, the weight thing for me will not go away in my mind.
As you say, plenty of petite girls for me to meet in Bogota when I go down there, and a figure on a woman for me is one if not the mot important factors for me apart from being genuine of course. as I said, I would settle for a less attractive woman if she is petite,


Glad you sorted that out Craig.  I think you should go for what you really want...you have probably been home without a woman for a long time...so naturally almost any woman will look good...but that will change.


Good luck,
Fathertime!   
09/08 saw morena goddess on Jamie's website
09/08Began writing/webcamming future wife
10/08Visited BAQ to meet future wife
12/08 Visited a second time and got engaged
01/09 Visa Paperwork done(williamIII)
02/09quickvisit BAQ
08/09Wife arrives
09/09Got married
11/10 son born

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #36 on: July 31, 2014, 08:54:32 PM »
Craig: I agree with FT and BC, sounds like you made a good call. Nothing wrong with a one woman trip IF you are 110% into the girl. Absent that you are better off taking a trip that will maximize your chances of finding what is right for you.



 
« Last Edit: July 31, 2014, 09:00:02 PM by Hector_Lavoe »

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #37 on: July 31, 2014, 09:07:43 PM »
Big question is, why did you have to air this thing in front of the "Peanut Gallery". Could have made the decison yourself in 5 minutes.
First the Ecuador girl, then this one inPeru, next it'll be one in Venezuela.
Women like men who make thier own decisions not rely on talking to dozens of people. It is also mentally exhausting.
I know,I used to be the same way until they gave me a frontal lobotamy.
Anyway, dont stop on account of me, its entertaining in its own way,

Give it a rest. The guy has had some rough times recently and he asked for some input. Then he came to his own conclusion. I think you've been in Colombia too long and that machismo B.S. is warping your brain. You would make great company for that loud/ugly American you were complaining about in that other thread.

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #37 on: July 31, 2014, 09:07:43 PM »

Offline the_ace33

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #38 on: August 01, 2014, 01:14:07 AM »
After examing the fotos Craig, I think you made the right call.  She is a bit on the heavy side, and skinny girls are a dime a dozen in Latin America. 
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Offline cdr1974

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #39 on: August 01, 2014, 07:51:40 AM »
After examing the fotos Craig, I think you made the right call.  She is a bit on the heavy side, and skinny girls are a dime a dozen in Latin America.

Guys
 
Thanks for your input, sometimes its good to hear others peoples views even though ultimately its my own decision.
I spoke with her in detail last night, before we got onto the subject of not taking this any further, she said she had a wonderful day (which made what I was going to tell her even harder then it already was going to be) she had just got news she had a new job and guess what guys " Working in a Disco" Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights
Hearing this was music to my ears because it put the final nail in the coffin, I have always said to myself, I would never date a girl working in a disco, not because I could not trust her, but the fact I would know there would be loads of drunken guys at the end of night trying it on with her and it would only be a matter of time. distant relationships are tough enough to keep going without added pressures of your girl working in a disco and knowing loads of guys would be hitting up on her so hearing this made the decision I had already made much more clearer...........................

Offline Chris F

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #40 on: August 01, 2014, 12:57:38 PM »

Guys
 
Thanks for your input, sometimes its good to hear others peoples views even though ultimately its my own decision.
I spoke with her in detail last night, before we got onto the subject of not taking this any further, she said she had a wonderful day (which made what I was going to tell her even harder then it already was going to be) she had just got news she had a new job and guess what guys " Working in a Disco" Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights
Hearing this was music to my ears because it put the final nail in the coffin, I have always said to myself, I would never date a girl working in a disco, not because I could not trust her, but the fact I would know there would be loads of drunken guys at the end of night trying it on with her and it would only be a matter of time. distant relationships are tough enough to keep going without added pressures of your girl working in a disco and knowing loads of guys would be hitting up on her so hearing this made the decision I had already made much more clearer...........................
So Craig...if I may ask..what exactly did you tell her and what was her response?

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #41 on: August 01, 2014, 02:12:28 PM »
I bet I know what he told her, but I aint tellin' 8) ;D
So Craig...if I may ask..what exactly did you tell her and what was her response?

Offline InnocentVixen

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #42 on: August 01, 2014, 06:51:04 PM »
" Working in a Disco" Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights


HA! told you so, good girls would be too embarrassed to show a picture were her bra is showing even if by some miracle it happened. Not sweet an innocent. Nice, fun and honest? maybe.

Offline gyounger

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #43 on: August 01, 2014, 07:14:03 PM »
And here I was telling him to go to Pizza St. when she's probably working down there.

Definitely don't keep us in suspense about what she says when you tell her the reason you're not going to see her.

Offline Calipro

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #44 on: August 01, 2014, 08:32:58 PM »
And here I was telling him to go to Pizza St. when she's probably working down there.

Definitely don't keep us in suspense about what she says when you tell her the reason you're not going to see her.


Why does he have to tell her that he isn't going to see her?
Did he write somewhere that he told her he was going to see her?

Offline gyounger

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #45 on: August 01, 2014, 09:32:16 PM »

Why does he have to tell her that he isn't going to see her?
Did he write somewhere that he told her he was going to see her?

True he didn't say visit but he did say that he planned to not take it any further but in his first post he hinted that he might postpone the Bogota trip to see her.
That is until he decided she was too chubby and found out she was working in a disco.

Offline cdr1974

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #46 on: August 01, 2014, 11:24:46 PM »
True he didn't say visit but he did say that he planned to not take it any further but in his first post he hinted that he might postpone the Bogota trip to see her.
That is until he decided she was too chubby and found out she was working in a disco.




I did tell her and once she had told me about her new job in a disco, it made it far far easier to do because i kew she was not for me.
Basically I said to her. I believed we was not compatible and we could not have a serious relationship because of this. Obviously I was not going to say it was because I thought she was to chubby for me, but saying we are not compatible made more sense.
She asked me in what way I thought we was not compatible so I just said we wanted different things, she did not take it too well and started saying I was like the rest of the guys, I did not want to argue or anything with her so I cut it short, wished her well and that was it.
Woke this morning to find a full essay type email from her saying how hurt she was, how she had not been able to sleep well and how she thought we could have had a good future together in a good relationship. I have not replies and will not do.
My focus is now on Bogota, not chatting to any more girls online from anywhere apart from Bogota now. I am going to open my cupid account again and see if I can arrange anything with any girls from Bogota, obviously my main focus is the 2 agencies I am visiting, also starting to look at things to do down there in Bogota whilst there apart from the dates i will be on.
Looking to see if there are any ladies clubs for us guys down there, a guy needs a clear head when going on these dates...............

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #47 on: August 02, 2014, 12:31:52 AM »
Hmm..you heart-breaker Craig you.. sounds like you been takin lessons from G. Younger,. Or maybe shes been  talking tothat Charles guy. Heck maybe she IS that Charles guy. (cross dressing) maybe that explains why she is "Chubby"...after all,they both live in Lima, don't they?
 



I did tell her and once she had told me about her new job in a disco, it made it far far easier to do because i kew she was not for me.
Basically I said to her. I believed we was not compatible and we could not have a serious relationship because of this. Obviously I was not going to say it was because I thought she was to chubby for me, but saying we are not compatible made more sense.
She asked me in what way I thought we was not compatible so I just said we wanted different things, she did not take it too well and started saying I was like the rest of the guys, I did not want to argue or anything with her so I cut it short, wished her well and that was it.
Woke this morning to find a full essay type email from her saying how hurt she was, how she had not been able to sleep well and how she thought we could have had a good future together in a good relationship. I have not replies and will not do.
My focus is now on Bogota, not chatting to any more girls online from anywhere apart from Bogota now. I am going to open my cupid account again and see if I can arrange anything with any girls from Bogota, obviously my main focus is the 2 agencies I am visiting, also starting to look at things to do down there in Bogota whilst there apart from the dates i will be on.
Looking to see if there are any ladies clubs for us guys down there, a guy needs a clear head when going on these dates...............

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #47 on: August 02, 2014, 12:31:52 AM »

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #48 on: August 02, 2014, 12:35:27 AM »
Excuse my niavity. Whats a "Ladys club"? Kinda like a strip joint or something???



I did tell her and once she had told me about her new job in a disco, it made it far far easier to do because i kew she was not for me.
Basically I said to her. I believed we was not compatible and we could not have a serious relationship because of this. Obviously I was not going to say it was because I thought she was to chubby for me, but saying we are not compatible made more sense.
She asked me in what way I thought we was not compatible so I just said we wanted different things, she did not take it too well and started saying I was like the rest of the guys, I did not want to argue or anything with her so I cut it short, wished her well and that was it.
Woke this morning to find a full essay type email from her saying how hurt she was, how she had not been able to sleep well and how she thought we could have had a good future together in a good relationship. I have not replies and will not do.
My focus is now on Bogota, not chatting to any more girls online from anywhere apart from Bogota now. I am going to open my cupid account again and see if I can arrange anything with any girls from Bogota, obviously my main focus is the 2 agencies I am visiting, also starting to look at things to do down there in Bogota whilst there apart from the dates i will be on.
Looking to see if there are any ladies clubs for us guys down there, a guy needs a clear head when going on these dates...............

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Re: Bit of a Dilema
« Reply #49 on: August 02, 2014, 12:49:56 AM »

Well Craig it sounds like things worked themselves out. It is just my opinion but I think a guy that does the international dating thing should go for what he really wants. Being picky isn't a bad thing because when you go international your dating pool is increased exponentially. I just kept meeting women until I met some that interested me and kept dating them until one of them made me lose interest in the others. That is how I met my wife. I would be thinking of her even if I was out with another woman. That is when I knew I had to pursue one woman because dating other women was a useless endeavor.

But different things work for different people. I would definitely do the Bogota trip if it were me.
Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

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