Hi hope to learn alittle.

[acunamark]

Hi everyone. I hope all is well.
First let me say this is a pretty nice forum you all have built over the years. I have spent a few hours reading and learning. Good information here.
I am 35. Let me say here if I can give any advice it is to don't put your age in your email when you make it. It looks stupid when you are stlll using the address 5 years later. It makes it look like I lie about my age.

I came to this website after my neighbor married a very pretty
Colombian girl. He found her while down there on a military assignment. She worked at one of those matchmaker agencies so some of you may know her but I will keep her name private. Her husband is not as happy with things as he was initially. The wife had a friend (girl) visit for a month when they had only been married here for about a month . Then her 20 yr old or so sister got a student visa and showed up to live with them. He didn't realize till she was here. And then the sister's friend from an ESLclass got into an argument with whoever she was living with and has been staying there also. So I imagine he is pondering whether he is being taken for a ride although he hasn't verbally said so.
But anyway, these women are hot although I am definitely not interested in starting anything with the new 20 year old hottie somethings, I am definitely interested in looking at a few 30 year old. I am a chemical engineer, good steady job, active and fit. But there is no way in hell I want to get into something like my neighbor's situation.

[InnocentVixen]

About putting your age on your email, you could simply get a new email address, it's easy and free...


I don't think you have to worry too much about ending up in your neighbors situation if you find yourself a woman with a good head on her shoulders and you are clear about what will not be tolerated, make sure you say it in different ways so the message gets across clearly, it doesn't matter if you both speak english and spanish, better be safe than sorry.


Best of luck and welcome

[benjio]

Hi everyone. I hope all is well.
First let me say this is a pretty nice forum you all have built over the years. I have spent a few hours reading and learning. Good information here.
I am 35. Let me say here if I can give any advice it is to don't put your age in your email when you make it. It looks stupid when you are stlll using the address 5 years later. It makes it look like I lie about my age.

I came to this website after my neighbor married a very pretty
Colombian girl. He found her while down there on a military assignment. She worked at one of those matchmaker agencies so some of you may know her but I will keep her name private. Her husband is not as happy with things as he was initially. The wife had a friend (girl) visit for a month when they had only been married here for about a month . Then her 20 yr old or so sister got a student visa and showed up to live with them. He didn't realize till she was here. And then the sister's friend from an ESLclass got into an argument with whoever she was living with and has been staying there also. So I imagine he is pondering whether he is being taken for a ride although he hasn't verbally said so.
But anyway, these women are hot although I am definitely not interested in starting anything with the new 20 year old hottie somethings, I am definitely interested in looking at a few 30 year old. I am a chemical engineer, good steady job, active and fit. But there is no way in hell I want to get into something like my neighbor's situation.

Acunamark,
 
This happens a lot more often than a lot of gringos care to admit. Sometimes the relationship won't be that bad after a gringo marries a Colombiana, but the girl's family can be insatiable leeches. In many circumstances I've seen the family of a girl encouraging her to marry a gringo even though she's openly admitting to not loving him because they see a potential opportunity to take advantage of that situation. When you marry any Latina, if she's not an orphan, you will most likely be marrying her family also. For this reason in my opinion it's just as important to know the family as well as the novia. How happy her family is or contrarily, how much they're suffering will have a significant impact on her mood and behavior while she's away.
 
I don't know your friend or under what circumstances he met this girl, but I can guarantee you there were some clues to this kind of behavior before he ever put her on a plane. A woman throwing the occasional fit of uncontrollable emotion, being depressed, acting distant...these are things that are normal when you take a Latina away from everything she's ever known before she gets accustomed to her new life in another country. Having a friend visit and stay with you during what's supposed to be the honeymoon stage of your relationship is another story altogether! A woman inviting a relative to live in your house without consulting you first is even worse. That's a complete lack of respect. If your friend hasn't put his foot down by now, it will proabably only get worse. But as I stated previously, he was most likely letting her get away with this type of behavior when they were dating in Colombia. So he has only himself to blame for it continuing and probably gradually getting worse now that they are back in the states.

[bcc_1_2]

pretty sharp on the OPs part to take away that Colombian women are hot... and not much else. Many relationships of all kinds go south for a variety of reasons. Rather than speculate what's up with your neighbor... here's to you finding a good relationship with some hot foreign chica!
One thing I can suggest that doesn't get a lot of burn here all the time... meet chicas with a good background. If you are looking 25 to 32 you should be talking to young professionals. Ideally her family is middle class and has jobs. That will help make your life more manageable.
If you are a gringo, mid 30s, good shape, decent human being... you don't have to settle.
Go for a girl that has a job, education, knows at least some ingles... etc. You might try plenty of fish. get yourself plugged into the chica network in the location you want to visit (facebook!!!). POF and Facebook are great for tracking a lot of middle class chicas that know some english. Set up a 2nd facebook account if it helps. Keep it protected so people you don't want snooping (ex g/f whatever) wont snoop.
Mexico City, San Pedro Sula, San Jose, Panama City, Cali, Bogota, Rio, Buenos Aires... get plugged into the city of your choice and have fun.

[benjio]

As usual excellent points by BCC. You should also consider Rio de Janeiro for what he's describing in terms of characteristics of the average single female. It's a little more expensive to get down here and stay for a while, but there's no other place on Earth that can compare for young, gorgeous, well educated, professional women that already speak English and would love to trade in the business suit for an apron....even if only temporarily.

[acunamark]

Truth is, he in a way he deserves it. I know when they met that he "forgot '' to tell her that he already was engaged. But when she found out it definitely didn't stop her from continuing the relationship. So maybe it is a match made in heaven and they deserve each other . 
I know she used to work at a marriage agency in Bogota. and also worked as a translator when she could so she definitely knows her English. I also know her Mon is single so she will probably be here sooner on later,
I think I will just keep reading and learning awhile before I consider any action .

[mambocowboy]

Truth is, he in a way he deserves it. I know when they met that he "forgot '' to tell her that he already was engaged. But when she found out it definitely didn't stop her from continuing the relationship. So maybe it is a match made in heaven and they deserve each other . 
I know she used to work at a marriage agency in Bogota. and also worked as a translator when she could so she definitely knows her English. I also know her Mon is single so she will probably be here sooner on later,
I think I will just keep reading and learning awhile before I consider any action .

he's screwed...

[bcc_1_2]

I help friends get plugged into POF from time to time. There is a smokin hot chica in her early 30s from Panama on there. Good english and has a visa to travel to the USA... has visted before. So POF is worth the time. Hit her up... she's available.

[whitey]

he's screwed...

Yep

[bcc_1_2]

32... english... has traveled. a 7 to 8 in most folks books. no k1 needed with her. panama.

[acunamark]

Think I still need to read up a bit more before I hop on the chat rooms.

[acunamark]

Oh but I forgot, yes she is very pretty.

[fathertime]

to permit these people to move into his house is evidence that he is not the right type of person to be in one of these types of relationships.  His woman had zero respect for him and I would have to imagine he put something out there to where she detected blood in the water.  You can learn what not to do from your friend, so he is providing you a service. 


Fathertime

[whitey]

bcc ... I'm sorry but that "smoking hot chica" from Panama is very likely a prepago.


No self-respecting latina posts bathing suit shots highlighting her newly purchased breasts on a dating web site.

[robert angel]

I think that the marital household needs to considered sancrosanct and we're together on that. Before either of us would have family visit, even our parents to come to stay a while with us, we'd discuss it, even if it'd basically be a formality. We pull out all the stops when family comes, with great food, touring them around etc. We've done the same for P.L. members who came to visit with us, but we didn't have them stay in our home overnight.
 
So parents and siblings would be welcome no doubt, but I couldn't see them thinking of moving in for good or for a long time--again, they're just not inclined that way--they respect the sanctity of the household. If they were sick w/o housing options, in that case WE know we'd care for them and I guess they also know, IF it came down to that.
 
Our home in the Philippines would be vacant if not for some family members who we allow to stay there when we're not there--they use all three bedrooms and keep the place in good repair. But when we're there, they might visit during the day, but then they find other accomodations at night so that we can enjoy our privacy.
 
We had a close friend --really my wife's best friend, become 'un engaged' with her guy and in a moment of temporary insanity, I said "Well she can move in with us until she can afford her own place". My wife nixed that idea about as quick as crack shot could shoot a turkey on the wing. That didn't stop her from enlisting my aid in helping her friend get a bed, furniture and kitchen stuff for her own place--it cost us, but no way my wife would have had her move in with us and that gal's no where near as sexy looking as my wife.
 
The situation in the initial post on this thread just sounds scary and I can't see it working out for the good--the guy's being used like a tool.
 
Whether it's au pairs, maids, best friends or whoever, there are just too many stories of the husbands who end up jumping their bones, having affairs and consequently marriages falling by the wayside as a result.
 
The old Jewish saying 'Having company is like having fish--after a few days, they start to smell" is true in more ways than one....

[bcc_1_2]

bcc ... I'm sorry but that "smoking hot chica" from Panama is very likely a prepago.


No self-respecting latina posts bathing suit shots highlighting her newly purchased breasts on a dating web site.

she didn't... i ripped those off her facebook.

[bcc_1_2]

Think I still need to read up a bit more before I hop on the chat rooms.

just an example. 5 minutes worth of work and we are talking about a chica with an education, speaks english... and she can fly to the USA. That's my point.

[whitey]

she didn't... i ripped those off her facebook.

Aha ... that's better ... not too unusual for Facebook ... wouldn't be a good sign if it was on Plenty of Fish ...

[bcc_1_2]

it is totally fine... she probably just thinks only her "friends" can see them. and i didn't call her a smokin hottie either. i wouldn't post any profile on here that my friend was actually talking to and interested in. but her english skills & visa... definitely make it a good lead worth checking out for many single guys on here.

[V_Man]

-snip-
[size=78%]She worked at one of those matchmaker agencies so some of you may know her but I will keep her name private. Her husband is not as happy with things as he was initially. The wife had a friend (girl) visit for a month when they had only been married here for about a month . Then her 20 yr old or so sister got a student visa and showed up to live with them. He didn't realize till she was here. And then the sister's friend from an ESLclass got into an argument with whoever she was living with and has been staying there also. So I imagine he is pondering whether he is being taken for a ride although he hasn't verbally said so.[/size]
-snip-

Plus she has more or less fluent English.


Wow!


To be brutally honest this guy isn't ready for marriage.


His wife doesn't have any respect for him one month into the marriage. Imagine what the future holds!


She and her sister organised a student visa and she moved to the USA and moved into the house and THEN they told him about it!!!
Wow!!!


And he did what exactly? Nothing?


Oh that's right he agreed to her friend moving in as well.


Why? Because they are hot?


This has nothing to do with Colombianas and everything to do with him being a complete door mat.

[acunamark]

From what I understand he knew she  was coming to visit, just not staying on a student visa. He seems to like her fine in a little sister kind of way but I don't think he necessarily wanted this situation. He doesn't bitch too much about it though. I try not to ask.

[Researcher]

well, this would be the time to get riled up and start throwing furniture out onto the front lawn.....nah, a man surely doesn't have to got that far but you surely can't allow this. showing weakness, like allowing a situation one doesn't like, is like blood in the water and this guy will get eaten alive.

[Bob_S]

From what I understand he knew she  was coming to visit, just not staying on a student visa. He seems to like her fine in a little sister kind of way but I don't think he necessarily wanted this situation. He doesn't bitch too much about it though. I try not to ask.

I wouldn't be complaining either if a handful of nubile hotties came over to shower and lounge around in sheer negligés at my place.  The dude's got the makings of a sitcom harem.  If the guy ever really wanted them gone, all he has to do is start putting the moves on one or both in obvious ways in front of the wife.  Maybe let her catch him banging the little sister.  The wife would have them out of the house muy pronto.
   

[mambocowboy]

I wouldn't be complaining either if a handful of nubile hotties came over to shower and lounge around in sheer negligés at my place.  The dude's got the makings of a sitcom harem.  If the guy ever really wanted them gone, all he has to do is start putting the moves on one or both in obvious ways in front of the wife.  Maybe let her catch him banging the little sister.  The wife would have them out of the house muy pronto.
   

My take on it is she cares so little for him she's bringing other young women to live with them. The ladies are probably going out together looking to trade up...

[benjio]

My take on it is she cares so little for him she's bringing other young women to live with them. The ladies are probably going out together looking to trade up...

My sentiments exactly....

[bcc_1_2]

the OPs getting it 2nd hand... we are getting it 3rd. idk and idc. neighbor's problem.

[robert angel]

There's a lot of military guys in my city who deploy frequently to south and central America. A lot of them quickly marrry girls from over there, bring them back to the states and all too often it's not long after their wives have come to the USA that their marriages are disasters.
 
 More and more, the soldier's commanding officers, and they have various powers and methods over their men--try to dissuade these young buck soldiers from marrying these volatile, chica beauties. Still some take the plunge and you'll see them out in public sometimes and their public arguing is a sad sight.

[benjio]

There's a lot of military guys in my city who deploy frequently to south and central America. A lot of them quickly marrry girls from over there, bring them back to the states and all too often it's not long after their wives have come to the USA that their marriages are disasters.
 
 More and more, the soldier's commanding officers, and they have various powers and methods over their men--try to dissuade these young buck soldiers from marrying these volatile, chica beauties. Still some take the plunge and you'll see them out in public sometimes and their public arguing is a sad sight.

Robert,
 
That's interesting. Pretty much every guy I went to high school with that went directly to the military after graduating has a divorce under his belt; and all of them married American Women. I always assumed many of them were much too set on the higher pay associated with having a wife.