Back from Lima.

[neil-uk]

Hi Guys

I just thought i would share my experiences in Lima the last 16 days.

I had a long 7000 mile trip from Manchester to Lima, via Orlando, and Miami, arrived at my hotel on the 13th March feeling very confident that i was going to do well. I had booked  a weeks introductions with Matchingsys.com and also planed to visit Latinperuviansingles.com as a my back up plan. I had a girl from each agency that i had wrote to prior to my visit that i realy wanted to meet. The first 2 or 3 days i spent meeting ladies from matchingsys, but it soon became very clear that my complete lack of Spanish was going to be a big problem  to me, i met some stunning girls there, i asked them for second dates and they agreed. The first girl i had 5 dates with who decided she just wanted to be friends, i decided no to waist any more time with her, then i focused some attention on another beauty that said she wanted to see me again, she turned up at my hotel with her friend and damanded i should take her and her friend traveling the next morning to Cusco, when i said i was happy to take her and my female translator she declined and said "Its me and my friend or i dont go"  When i sugested we could spend time together just around Lima, she wasent intrested in that so i didnt see her again.

I want back to the drawing board and asked the owner Raul for advice, i told him to help me find a girl who knows some english, and to advice me on who might realy be intrested in my 40 yr old ass. i picked at least another 30 from his books and he tried to set up dates. By now it was close to the weekend and he had set up meeting for Sat,and Sunday, As it happends Matchingsys close for the weekend but Raul reluctantly gave me his cell number so at least i had some way of getting help if i needed it, All my dates never showed at my hotel, i called Raul but he wouldnt take my calls, so my weekend was totaly waisted,  And i was totaly pissed off. Ok i took a deep breath and went to the agency Monday morning, Raul showed up at about 12.30 on monday lunch time, i had a talk with him and even offered him another $300 bucks if he would pull his finger out of his arse and get something done for me, at first he thought it was a great idea, and i thought it had woke him up,, but no the next morning he said sorry i am to busy to spend any more time with me becuase he had other clients,, I actually felt like i had done something, wrong and he wanted rid off me. So to cut it short i got a couple of dates, and about another 5 or 6 no shows.

So i decided it was time to try Latinperuvian singles agency i had 5 or 6 dates there over a couple of days, i told them i wanted to be realistic with what i was after so Little Nina there went throught the books with me and put together a list. My first meeting was with a woman 35 with a child and quite lovely,,, i siad i like her but they couldnt manage to contact her for a second date, "whatever"  They also set me up with a 21 yr old (I was 39) they said after the meeting she called the office to see if i would meet her that night. Nina told me i was doing real well and i should meet her. Ok i went along with it i met the youngster that night at LArco mar ,, she showed up 2 hours late, then ended up sleeping at my hotel, (seperate beds) but i thought it odd anyway. Next morning she said she was going away on business for a week but we could have lunch before she was due to leave,,,turns out 2 of her friends showed up for lunch also, so i ended up paying for the 4 of us (how lucky am i) she told me early morning her flight was at 2pm but she was still shoveling grub in her face at 4pm at the cafe.

Ok things wernt going to well at this stage and i had about a week left, so i pulled my trump card, "Pamela"  Pam was a personal friend of Janet the manager at LPS we had exchanged a few letter and she seemed very keen to meet me when i was there, so we met one night , and she showed me a good time she was very confident, beautiful and spoke good English, i was concerened she was a pro dater. but after talking with Janet at the office, i was reasured she was a nice genuine lady and i should give her a chance,

Pam was great fun, we celabrated my birthday with her family, she showed me the inside of every expsensive reaustraunt in Lima 2x every day.. told me about clothes her aunty had bought in Argentina to sell to her, but she couldnt really afford them,, but kept hinting i could buy them for her. i decided to play her along and said maybe before i went home i would treat her a few hundred dollars worth,,, She took me to Jocky plaza for some shirts but ended up getting me to buy her a bag and a dress, which i really didnt mind becuase they wernt expensive, but importantly she had tasted my blood on this and next morning she hit me with the big one. She didnt have enough money to pay for her university infact about $600 short. When i told her i would love to help BUt i didnt think it appropriate to let money come into our realtionship at this early stage. she looked real pissed of with me, but tucked into her lobster anyway:)  Next day she was late turning up at my hotel but wanted to go and eat as normal,, we sat in the resturant only 2 minuites and she said she had aranged for us to visit her aunty that afternoon so i could have chance to buy her some clothes before i went home that night,,, I blew my cool right there and told her what i thought of her, she acted the inocent and got really pissed with me, but when i sugested we go our seperate ways, she hung in and said she wanted to go to the movies. Well bugger me what could she still be after i thought? Then it hit me i had bought a new razor phone that she had her eye on all week, and we had joked i should leave with her to look after when i go home. She asked to use my phone becuase  she had no credit to call her sister while sat in the back of the taxi,, as it happends her sister was engaged so she never gave me the phone back, but held it in her hand all the way back to my hotel, when we pulled up, i started to get out of the cab well knowing she still had the phone, i had to seem surprised it wasent on my belt,, but dear Pamy didnt know where it was, we eventualy found it under her right cheek,,"Priceless" ,,,

As you can imagine i never laid eyes on Sweet Pamy again, I relaid my experience to Nina at LPS, who said "quote" "You should forget about her"  and that was it, Well that was pretty much it


neil

[sean126]

Dude,
I feel for you.  I'm sorry you had, what appears to be, a very bad experience.  You showed more poise than I ever would have with all those women and with Raul.  Don't give up....but definitely change your boundries next time.  I've never really experienced any women being that open about asking for stuff, maybe it's my demeanor, but I would advice next time dumping them at the first sign of her being rude. 

You seem to be a nice guy, don't give up and don't let a few bad choices and decisions discourage you.  Just learn from it.

[Dan Las Vegas]

Wow, what a trip!!!! Sorry to hear that the time you spent in Peru was a waste, perhaps you should try Colombia or another country. I had my sefforts with Amigos.com, found my novia on there, just returned from my frist trip to Medellin at the end of February, going back again the last week of April. Don't let this experience get you down, I'm sure you will have success eventually if you have the right attitude and frame of mind.

Good luck

Dan

[neil-uk]

thanks Guys

Glad you could see my frustaration, but really it hasent got me down i am to long in the tooth for that, i am currently drawing a new plan of action,, considering the distance involved for me from the uk,,, and the language thing ,,, i am thinking of doing the Philippines next trip.

On the positive side, i fell in love with the music, the dancing, in SA ,,, i can see why a man would want to live there.

neil

[papi]

Hi Neil, sorry to hear the trip report. I have had worse and you are a vet (in the FSU) so you know the score. I personally have done much better in colombia. I like peru mostly for the food and went there to meet one of my cyber babes. I ended up getting laid but she was also bad news in my view. PL rule #1 is to avoid spending any serious money on chicas until they are banging you. I think it is good advice. Stick to dinners/drinks and avoid the gifts/money until a relationship is established. And like I told you in Peru - try colombia. You are a nice guy and don't let the spanish stop you. I know you can find success in colombia

[Kiltboy1]

Damn Neil

Sorry to hear about the trip going so badly. I know many Peruvian ladies that are very good looking and very sincere. I think your lack of Spanish is the culprit here as the pros know they got you over a barrel, but do not be fooled into thinking that Colombia will be any different because if you think Peru has pro's, you ain't seen nothing yet because the pro Colombiana will chew you up and spit you out before you know what hit you. I say learn Spanish first, at least conversational and then you can tell if a chica is a pro or not.Do not trust translators as i have seen them tell a woman things  about a guy that is shady to say the least and the guy did not know any different because he did not speak Spanish and could not tell what the translator was saying to the chica. But only one trip behind you, i would not let it get you down. Bone up on the Spanish and hit the ground running again.

Cheers

KB

[neil-uk]

Guys

I think Kiltyboys hit it right on the nail,,, With no Spanish i was at the mercy of the agencies, and the pro daters, which is never a good idea in any country. but i new i would have a problem to some degree with the language even before i went. so i am not totaly surprised with the outcome .  But i am dissapointed with the lack of support i got with the agencies. matchingsys dont even offer a translator if you ask for one...

Learnign Spanish is an option if i venture to LA again, but at the moment i am thinking about the philippines as an alternative ,,They speak english there , but so do all the family that will want to come to

[papi]

Neil, KB is not wrong but he is not right. Please don't listen to this advice and give colombia a try. I am telling you that you can do it and without spanish. Many guys are successful without having spanish. I was more or less my first time  - I just was not in love. But I know it can be done. Guys, help me out here. Be brave and tell Neil he can make it work and spanish is not a show stopper. It helps but don't let it get you down or stop you from at least giving it one more shot

[neil-uk]

Papi,,,   Thanks for your encouragement ,, i haven't totally given up on SA,, there is a chance i will go to Columbia on my next trip, but i am just bouncing some ideas around in my head for a while. Maybe some guys do ok with no Spanish in Columbia, But for my next trip i would learn something first. I just hate being at the bottom of the game, and having to choose a girl just because she knows some English.



neil

[el_ruso]

I would encourage you to try to learn Spanish.  It doesn't have to be perfect, but it will definitely open you a lot of doors.  Try to meet girls online, and make a trip at least partially "touristic", so in case the babes will not work out, you will still enjoy yourself.

[Chris F]

Papi,

I am not against Colombia...but I dont see why you think Neil will have better chances there. He was finding women he was very attracted to in Lima. And yes..some were insincere

If he ventures to Colombia...he will find very attractive women as well I am sure. Some will be sincere ..some not

His lack of Spanish is his number one problem...Colombia will be no different in that respect.

[Chris F]

\

Pam told me about clothes her aunty had bought in Argentina to sell to her, but she couldnt really afford them,, but kept hinting i could buy them for her. i decided to play her along and said maybe before i went home i would treat her a few hundred dollars worth  THEN NEIL LATER YOU WROTE  Next day she was late turning up at my hotel but wanted to go and eat as normal,, we sat in the resturant only 2 minuites and she said she had aranged for us to visit her aunty that afternoon so i could have chance to buy her some clothes before i went home that night,,, I blbew my cool right there

Neil...in reading your posts again....please explain why you "blew your cool"   You knew from the day before she was not sincere...and you decided to "play her along"  then you lose your temper when she asks for money the next day??  Like you are surprised by this??

[JimmySTLOUIS]

Sorry you had a bad time in Lima

I think I really should open an agency in Lima. I really do think I could do a much better job than matchingsys.com

Red Clay, Chris F and I have found real keepers there and my wife spoke english when I met her

anyway

best of luck in the future - if i can ever help you out shoot me a p/m

TE AMO PERU!!!!

jim

[utopiacowboy]

I think you handled your experiences in Peru really well and you probably don't need any advice. I am one of those who thinks that Spanish is a necessity - otherwise you are reduced to using hand signals and translators. It is possible to learn "on the job" so to speak. I basically learned Spanish from corresponding and chatting with my wife but we never would have gotten married if I hadn't developed a proficiency fairly quickly.

[neil-uk]

Chris

I blew my cool on the last day for probably a few reasons, " One" i had already established with her the day before that she was going to far pushing for money, and i thought even she just might back off a little, if she put any value no matter how small on our relationship.

I had played along to a point that i had said "NO" sorry i don,t do cash hand outs, and when the next morning she asked for more money, i felt insulted, and i felt this person i was dealing with had no self respect, and i felt ashamed for her

Plus i had 2 weeks of BS to go along with it, we all have our limit

[Chris F]

Neil,

I do understand what you are saying. I think all men need to realize here is that once the woman reveals that she is insincere...nothing is going to change with her...you can "play along" if you choose...but I feel its a waste of time..she has revealed her character to you from the beginning...she is not going to turn into a sincere woman later on.....

While I know in some respects the trip was frustrating to you....I am sure that you gain experience as well in this process which will assist you on future trips to South America..

Now......stop reading this board and go LEARN SPANISH!!

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!

[Looking4Wife]

Neil:

I just read your story and I feel for you.

I usually don't go out of my way to plug the agency I used to find my wife, unless asked directly, but this time I will make an exception.  The agency is in Barranquilla which is a city on the Carribean coast of Colombia.

To quote a poster (Snooppuppy) from another board, "when you have few choices, you make poor choices".

The only reason you spent as much time as you did with any of these girls, is because you had limited choices.

You are travelling too far and spending too much time out of your life to put up with that nonsense.

I chose www.Latin-Wife.com to help me find my wife because they have a very efficient system.  If you use the full personal introductions service, you will meet 25+ women within three (3) days.  Most guys stop after about 15 or so women, but I would encourage you to continue until you've at least met more than 20.  I met 39 during my 31 day trip.  My wife turned out to be number 40, whom they "introduced" me to sometime after I got back to the states. 

Many people balk at the pricing (I think now its running about $1,375), but that sure beats traveling across the sea and the ocean and coming away with nothing but disappointing experiences and a smaller bank account to show for it.

You'll need to negotiate a rate for translators beyond the first 3 days.  They are included in your first 3 days, but you may need to verify the number of hours that are included.

As far as learning Spanish, check out the FREE download of Flash Card software at www.byki.com.  This thing is just simply awesome!

Good luck and God's blessings in whatever you decide to do...

[Ricardo]

Neil, 
I have not needed translators in Colombia, and I wouldn't feel comfortable with another woman tagging along on dates.  So I agree - if one is looking for a wife in Latin America, Spanish is going to be a necessity.  There are tons of resources on the net, and in the libraries (I would look there first and see which books or multi-media suited me).  I took a 5 wk course, and it was worth it.  When I met my wife in Bogota, she spoke a bit of English, but knowing Spanish made relating to her and her family a whole lot more easier and enjoyable. 
The other issue would be seeing only one woman in a trip.  It tends not to work well, it's much better to have at least several options.  It seems that Pammy was sending signals that she only wanted to relate with your wallet.  Could have cut her out sooner, but overall you did well.  some have really gotten 'fleeced'. 
I am sure your next foray into LA land will bring much better returns.  You may want to correspond before your next trip.  As well, try a couple of cities next time.  Really there are great women in every city, tho' some cities have better agency support (I think Looking4Wife has given some good suggestions).   All of us have had our share of insincere women.  Just remember it's your time and money.  Spend them wisely.  wishing you much success... 
Ricardo

[papi]

To quote a poster (Snooppuppy) from another board, "when you have few choices, you make poor choices".

now this is darn good advice...

i think the best thing a guy can do is work the internet prior to a trip and then use an agency for backup

[neil-uk]

Hey guys

thanks for the support, things are on the UP here, i just bought a new house, and i am off to Tver , Russia, 1st June . "No i didnt give up on SA , i have a friend on on the other Russian board, whos going at the same time, and hes hooked me up there. (And know a little Russian)

Havent been on here in a while, but noticed Papi found a keeper,,,"Well done old boy!"

neil

[papi]

Niel, thanks...good luck in FSU. What about Iceland??

[el_ruso]

What about Iceland??

And what about Bhutan, Mongolia and Solomon Islands?

[papi]

And what about Bhutan, Mongolia and Solomon Islands?

can't say...i never been. Maybe if Bruce starts running tours there?

[neil-uk]

Just in addition to my post about Lima,,, i sent a letter of complaint to (Latin Peruvian Singles) nearly a month ago, and NEVER got any reply.

Janet,,
 
Just thought i would drop you a line to how terribly disappointed i am with your service, regarding your (Personal) friend Pam .. I would describe Pam  as a gold digger that is looking for a Gringo to subsidise her lifestyle and nothing more. I spent a week with Pam carefully evaluating what she was about, over the week we had together she took me to expensive restaurants every day which i didn't mind really because that could be excused for just wanting to impress me, but i will list things that were really going way to far for any decent girl to ask for .
 
1 Pam made up a story that her auntie had been to Argentina and bought many beautiful clothes, to sell to Pam and Pam's friends. When i asked Pam if she was getting any she said Maybe and hinted maybe i could get them for her
 
2 Pam showed up sad one morning because her university had put up the fees by 1300 soles, and she had no way of paying the extra,,,she kept drawing me in to offer to pay it for here,,, i said sorry but NO,,
 
3 on my last day Pam said she could not see me because she was to upset about her university money,,, then decided to see me later that day and asked me for money to buy clothes from her Auntie within ten minutes of our meeting,,,,
 
 
Now then if your thinking i am over reacting, i can tell you i am very experienced with dating women from many countries and have looked at this objectively with a clear mind and there is no way on earth you should be putting Pam forward as a good prospective wife for any decent man, this will only damage not only your reputation but the reputation of your agency.
 
I actually called at your agency on my last day and told Nina what had happended with Pam, and Nina said " I think you should forget about her"  and that was that
 
 
Neil from UK
----- Original Message -----
From: Janet
To: Neil lee

[Ray]