Trip report with comments

[Spanky]

Just a couple things i want to comment on here on fathertime...

Of course several of my choices were “Unavailable” “Unreachable” or some other excuse, again no problem that was expected.

There is a problem with expecting to be rejected.  It is all about attitude.

“The Supermodel” wants to come back with me. She looks incredible 19yrs 6 feet tall a lot of fun. The big problem is it felt too much like a stripper experience. Not real. I could do no wrong with her. I am convinced I am being played for a fool and besides she wants to model I want a stay at home mom first and at most a part-time working wife.

Come on FT! what are you doing with a 19 year old? I don't know how old YOU are, but if you are looking for "a stay at homer" then this choice becomes WAY out of your league, and obviously in more ways then you can imagine.  This girl would run you (and most here it seems) ragged

[Montrealer]

Why give me crap?  There's so many other people that are on this forum you can shoot crap at that deserve it.  No harm, no foul though.

I know you have been following my progress because you're the only one who remembered my nick, polar bear or "osito polar".  I looked back because I wasn't sure if I mentioned it or not.  Kind of freaked me out that you knew it, then I saw I did mention it.

I'll keep you, and anyone else who will listen, posted on my adventures.  I'm headed down again in early March after I go to my daughters 2nd birthday in Mexico on Feb 24th.  This trip is mostly about taking care of wedding plans, and I should have a lot of details for guys getting married in BAQ.

[Montrealer]

"a stay at homer"

Given my avatar, I really dig that expression.  :lol:

[Spanky]

I can already give YOU a ton of advice on getting married in Baq-everthing from a great photographer to a cool place to rent a 1950's bride and groom Mercedes with a rumble seat, to a priest, to a banquet hall...and not to forget my English speaking taxi driver...hehe

[Montrealer]

Do we really need to go there about the taxi driver again?

Any free advice you can give me would be great.  I would love the contact info for the Benz.

The banquet hall appears to be locked from what my fiancee tells me about the place she found, but would love some good places to send her to check out, as long as its on a beach or in a country club style setting.

And any contact you can give about the newspapers, for the ad.  We are hoping to get a mention in the "society pages" (may be different name) down there.  With a minimum half page write up and 3 photos on front page of section.  Would be great with a full page, but realize that may be difficult.  I don't mind greasing some palms down there, but I won't ever pay you for contact info.  Nothing about you, but this forum is about helping people.  So help a brother out!

[fathertime]

Hello spanky,

That is just how the agencies work.  Does not matter how positive I thought.  I am unable to will the girls to be suddenly available.  I think it was a realistic expectation.  For the record I did give them crap about it and made them explain to me even though it was pointless.  Not that they gave a shxx.  

Correct about the 19 year old.  That is why I got to let her beautiful behind go.  I can guarantee you she will not be in Cali long.  Somebody will scoop her up and maybe regret it later.  Maybe that somebody won’t regret it that is if they want a supermodel wife that is working and doing who knows what else.  I was temporally dazzled by her beauty but I came to my senses.  I am clear about what will eventually come back with me.  As enjoyable as it was I regret wasting my precious time on a prospect that was not going to have what it took to come back.  But it was me using my time on her that allowed me to make to that conclusion so I guess it was not a waste after all.

Polar bear
I have a memory like an elephant. Did you know polar bears can cover 60 miles a day on foot?  I did not think you got your quota of crap yet today.  I await further details in the future. Are you doing anything to better yourself in preparation for your beauty queen?  I know there are things I would change about me if I were in your situation.

See ya all
Fathertime

[Montrealer]

I am making some changes to my diet and I did buy an exercise bike and work on it about an hour or so a day.  (I didn't buy it because of comments made about me on this forum).  I also am improving my spanish daily.  I was at about 70% when i made my first trip, and now am at about 80% or so.  It's coming along quite well.  I'm mostly working on my vocabulary, as this is what suffers.

As far as things with the fiancee, we talk regularly on the phone.  Almost every night except when I have to work out of the city.  We're in the process of taking care alot of the wedding planning and are very excited about it.  I'll be heading down in March for a few weeks to finalize everything and to be with my love.

As far as other things I am doing for preperation of my new wife.  I am finalizing my divorce, which was long over due.  But other than that, I was perfect before, so it's hard to change (notice the sarcasm).  I am keeping things interesting in our relationship through our phone calls.

I will keep you all posted on my adventures.  I only hope I never hear "I told you so", but I hear "Wow, congratulations.  You beat the odds ahead of you and it sounds like you and her are going to be very happy for a long time".

Polar bears, 60 miles a day?  Wow, you learn something new every day.

[fathertime]

Polar bear
60 miles a day is correct but I was mistaken when I said on foot it is swimming which is amazing!

I am going to begin a flashcard routine with my Spanish vocab.  In addition to the tutor and community college class in Feb.  What specifically are you doing to learn your Spanish at this point?
Told you so is never good to hear.  I rarely would say it unless the person really has it coming.  Wedding preparations and phone calls… sounds like you are well on your way to domestication! Do you think you will be a good husband? Hope that is not too personal.
Thanks
Fathertime

[Montrealer]

60 miles swimming a day.  Wow.

As for my spanish, I am continuing to watch my TV in english with spanish subtitles.  I found this works the best for me.  I have a short attention span and get frustrated in a class room enviroment.  I should think about trying the flashcards to test myself.  I do know alot of words, but I am trying to work on synonyms now so that I don't keep re-using the same words.

I'm looking forward to domestication.  Nothing like knowing what you have every morning without question.  And only aving to worry about pleasing one person.  Makes life alot easier for me, as long as I don't get too comfortable and forget that she is my queen.  And I am her king.  These are new nick names that we now use, lol.

As far as me being a good husband, I think I will do a good job.  I've always believed that the family household is the most important thing.  I will encourage her to be a better person, as I hope she will try to bring the best out in me.  I am in the process of enrolling her in University now to study french, as well as she will be taking private english courses.  This should keep her busy and goal oriented for the first while.  Then we discussed it that she will take the courses to make her BA valid here.  In case you didn't notice, she loves education.

I think the key to having a successful marriage and being a good husband is to be there always for her.  Whether it be bad or good.  Being best friends is vital.  Knowing that she can come to me with any issue and that I will be there to supprt her.

I've always said that a spouse should be 3 things;
best friend
psychiatrist
lover

I followed this policy during my first marriage and it worked great, even if the marriage didn't.  My ex-wife even jokes with me about giving me letters of recomendation.

But in the meantime, I'll take it one day at a time and give the relationship all that I can.

[Ray]

I don't know about the age gap.  I am only 28 and I felt a little iffy about my now fiancee who is only 22.  I think once you are over 30, the women you date should be over 25, and at 40 it should be about 30.  Although there are circumstances where a large age gap doesn't matter, I think the common intrests would be a little too scattered.

Monty, you're on the right track.

It is true that larger age gaps become less important as your age increases. Actually, there is a tried and true formula to compute the ideal minimum age for a bride compared to the groom’s age. I’m not sure of the origin, but I think it comes from an old Islamic tradition. Use the formula to find the ideal minimum age for a woman when you start courting.

Her min age = (His age / 2) + 7

If you are 28, then her minimum age would be 21. A guy aged 50 should look for a woman at least 32, etc. Going for a girl under the calculated minimum does not mean the marriage will fail, but it does decrease the odds of success.

Ray

[Spanky]

28? wow! i don't know if i wish i was 28 when i made my first trip to SA or not.  Anyway, as far as Baq. wedding help,  we had our reception at Baq Plaza Hotel. Nice little hall. They set up really neat. Nothing terribly exotic like a beach front though.  We didn't do any newspaper deal-don't even know why that's important.  It was the Church, the photographer and that bad-azz Benz that made our wedding.  The Padre was great, the Catholic church was gorgeous-Inglesia de Carmen.  The photographer got it ALL-everything from mis amigos y yo sneaking a Heineken across from the Church while waiting for my bride, to me at the hall, snatching her from the rumble seat and landing her smack down on her high heels; to an awesome leg shot of the garter belt.  He nailed it in nice clear shots which is rare it seems from pics i've always seen; you need him!  What i will do for you is give you Kiki's number.  This cat never left my side on my first 3 trips to Baq. He speaks English, great sense of humor and an honest driver.  Write this number down boys-310-635-3815 cell; 348-8925 office. I guess Monty doesn't need a good guide since he is already getting married (first trip right?  :shock: ). Kiki can hook you up with the Benz though.

[EbonyPrince]

I’m not sure of the origin, but I think it comes from an old Islamic tradition. Use the formula to find the ideal minimum age for a woman when you start courting.

Her min age = (His age / 2) + 7

I actually saw this several months ago on CNN.  Although I don't typically consider age when meeting women, I find myself sub-consciously using this formula in my mind.  Works for me...

[Montrealer]

I guess Monty doesn't need him since he is already getting married (first trip right?  ).

I don't know why you would think that it's my first trip.  I'm confused at the comment.  In case you don't recall, I met her during my November trip, engaged during my December/January trip.  And am now planning a trip in early March to see her and finalize wedding plans.  Possibly one more visit, time permitting, before going down in late May to be wed in June and returning to Canada in early July.

In case the above quote was a joke or something, sorry just didn't get it.  Need to nap.

Just so I understand, the phone number of Kiki is for the Benz?  Or whom does that number belong to?

For the photographer, we are going with a friend of the family who is giving us the photos and videos as a wedding present.  Apparently he is a professional, but I don't know if he is the best.  Kind of hard to say no.

For the newspaper, it's just a nice touch to have.  My first wedding was 3/4 of a page and a great souvenir.  Something a little nicer than the 2X2 box that is normally taken out.  Plus I like to see my name in print, lol.

Thanks for the help.  BTW, how much did your wedding cost with how many people?  I'm trying to keep everything at 10 million pesos, but I don't think it's possible.  It looks like about 12-14 million is going to be the ceiling.  This is with 110 people, excluding the honeymoon and my tux, since I am buying a new one (I hate rentals).

[fathertime]

Thought I would dredge up this old thread since I am headed back to Cali On the 29th of March.   So a little over 2 months between trips this time.  Circumstances and laziness did not allow me to improve my Spanish much in recent weeks but I don’t think I lost much either.   I intend to Start with ACG for a few days and than try Petes Palace for the remainder of the trip with perhaps a night thrown in at the Intercontinental.  

Over the last month or so I have tried to communicate and perhaps line up dates on Myspace.  I wanted to at least experience some ladies around my age and circumstances and see what dating American style would be like.  It is turning out to be a complete waste and reaffirms my going to Cali to get what I seek.  The general arrogance and stupidly amongst woman 30-37 with children was amazing.  I am happier than ever about my decision to go global with my future woman.  

I am also learning about myself that I am very content in many ways to stay single.  I sometimes think the incredible freedom is going to be hard to give up.  As I weigh out everything I still believe being in a happy marriage is the best way to go for me but being single is a close second.  Unhappy marriage is right at the bottom of course.  

On a final note, I am sometimes starting to wonder about my own sincerity in my travels to Cali.  I have had several outstanding women that I have passed on.  I would like to think that the special chemistry was not there but sometimes I wonder if I am being too fussy.  More on that subject after this trip perhaps.  Apparently it is going to take an awful special woman to motivate me to take the next step.  
That is all for now.
Fathertime

[utopiacowboy]

You can't be too fussy and yes, you should wait for an awful special woman. Otherwise you are just settling.

[snoppuppy]

ColombiaMan:

I would describe my Spanish as passable.  I can converse and understand if the conversation goes slowly.  Currently, I am limiting myself to studying the first four tenses, presente, imperfecto de indicativo, preterito, y futuro.  It seems like these are the ones used most.  Do you think this is a good strategy?  I'd appreciate your input.  
TIA.  

[zapata]

who is "ColombiaMan"??

[snoppuppy]

Sorry, meant CE, ColombiaExpert

[doombug]

ColombiaExpert was embarrassed into exile.
 
He then reincarnated himself as "Traqueto" so as to continue with his "expert" advice, but abruptly left with his tail between his legs--embarrassed once again.

[Janeth]

If i lived in colombia, i could have any woman i wanted,

You sound very sure of yourself but I’m willing to bet you $10,000.00 us dollars that your wrong. Just because you’re an American does not mean you can have any Colombian girl you want.

[Ray]

You sound very sure of yourself but I’m willing to bet you $10,000.00 us dollars that your wrong. Just because you’re an American does not mean you can have any Colombian girl you want.

[Janeth]

Come out here then and lets make it a bet.

I get to pick the girls, I know the ugly ones will sleep with anyone.

[Kiltboy1]

WOW

Another Colombiana LOOKING FOR MONEY

Who would have ever Thought it could happen ?

LOL

[soltero]

WOW

Another Colombiana LOOKING FOR MONEY

Who would have ever Thought it could happen ?

LOL

I thought she was making a bet? Since you already sound like you are ready to pay up, it must mean you don't think you would win...

[Bueller]

KB, you made a statement that was rather brash and that understandably piqued someone's pride as a Colombian woman. She's not a troll -- you can see her picture on her web site. I'd say it's time to either step up and take the challenge, or apologize (I'd do the latter).