Hello from another younger gent

[Celtic_Jorge]

Hi,

I am also young, but a bit older, I am 24. I am still in college, too, but I will be graduating this September.
I was actually dating a woman from Thailand about two years ago.  She was 27 and I was 22 or so at the time.
She was actually older than me, but most Americans seemed to think she was younger.
She was already in America, here on a Au Pair visa.  Anyhow, we talked a lot about getting married, getting
the k-2 visa when she went back to Thailand, so she could come back here, and so on.  However,
at the time I wasn't even in college.  I was just living with my parents, and working at a grocery, and saving
my money for when I would start back in school.  It became more and more obvious that I didn't have
the two or three things I needed for this to work - 1) I had no stability in life, as I was in a very "transitional"
moment in my life, 2) I didn't even have enough money to pay for her immigration, since what little money I had was going to go towards my tuition, and 3) I was not gainfully employed.  So, eventually, she ended up
going back to Thailand.  A close relative of hers was very sick anyhow, and she needed to go back.
Coming back to the USA, at that time, I believe, was very difficult for her.  She kind of "screwed up"
her au pair status, I think, by leaving before her job was over.  So, to make a long story short, we ended up
going our separate ways within a few weeks of her departure, it was just too difficult to maintain a
relationship, that just wasn't working out anyhow, living basically worlds apart.

So here I am now.  I am not quite in the same situation anymore, as I will be graduating and starting my first REAL job (well, a decently paid internship, at least) this September.  No such luck, as I expected, finding that dream American woman in college.  And I tried all I could to get a date, it just wasn't happening.  So what does a guy do?  Now I am thinking about dating another southeast Asian, maybe from Thailand, or Vietnam.  At least a penpal would be nice to start with.  I'd even be willing to travel over there to meet.  But where should I look?  Seems that most of the marriage agencies that come up on Google for Thai and Vietnamese women are on agencyscams.com blacklist ~ I am not looking to get scammed here.  What should I do?

[thekfc]

Hi Jorge,

Welcome to P-L.

Take your time & read the archives, and when you get a chance tell us a little more about you (your location, etc).
Also have you done any research on the country/culture (s) you are looking into?

And don't be afraid to ask questions.

[Celtic_Jorge]

Also have you done any research on the country/culture (s) you are looking into?

I know enough about Thailand to know how to greet and talk to a Thai lady.  Most of what I know about Thais comes first hand, I was in touch with her family, and I dated her, and spent time with her, 3-4 times a week, for almost an entire year.

I don't know much about Vietnam, I'll be honest.  I was just entertaining the idea, since I have already dated someone from Thailand.

I am in Northern Virginia and for the time being I am staying here.  This is where my job is.  I am a professional and my job is of a confidential nature (not like a secret agent or spy or anything, however my reputation in my profession must be faultless).  For that reason, I don't use social networking websites or anything of that nature.  So, I am not going to disclose much about that, or much more about myself personally.

[evoltnvii]

good luck with your search there are plenty of guys that can give you advise on thai and vietnamese ladies if thats what you are looking for. I only know pinays so i wont be much help but you will get more advice than you can handle here for sure.

[Celtic_Jorge]

Yeah, I will look through the archives a bit I suppose, as the poster above suggested.

The way I met my last Thai lady was through an online dating website (okcupid).  Well, I stopped having any luck with it, and eventually deleted my profile.  I didn't want my employer even catching me on there, although a profile on a dating website can seem harmless enough.  But still, why risk it?

My issue is, I need an agency, that can perhaps introduce me to Thai women.  A lot of these agencies, though, especially according to the black list, seem to be scams.  So I need to find out which ones are good, which ones are so-so, and which ones are just outright scams.

[Dave H]

Hi Jorge,

Welcome to P-L! Sorry, I don't know anything about Thailand...well accept watch out for the katoeys!   William is your source for great information!

Good Luck!

Celtic_Dave

[Jeff S]

Hi Celtic and welcome. Looking forward to your participation. No need for using your real name, nor posting pictures on any dating sites. There are no agencies in Asia like they have in Latin America and the FSU - it's more of a swap contact information situation. Nonetheless, more than half of the married guys here met through introductions from friends - so start making friends. Nearly every immigrant has a relative or family friend back home they'd love to introduce to a gentleman here in the US.

Good luck to you.

- Jeff

[Dave H]

No need for using your real name, nor posting pictures on any dating sites.

- Jeff

Right you are Jeff! My real name is Wally Peabody...whoops!

"Dave"

[thekfc]

Right you are Jeff! My real name is Wally Peabody...whoops!

"Dave"

I thought that it was Walter Peabury. Have you been lying to us Dave? 

[Bob_S]

Right you are Jeff! My real name is Wally Peabody...whoops!

The dog with the time machine?

[bcc_1_2]

Man this is getting a little depressing with a bunch of newbies stopping by and basically all saying they couldn't find a decent date in school. Thinking back a few years I was only interested in partying and having fun with them... and I wasn't looking to settle down in college so I guess maybe college is a terrible place to find your "special someone". I just had fun with the college girls and then went to latin america to find something serious. Hopefully the newbies stopping by will do the same. Have fun here in the states with the college chicks then head over to latin america or asia to find the real deal.

A few tips for someone just starting out in a career. Stay living at home. The only reason to move out is if you dislike your parents or need your own place to bring back girls. So best to stay at home and save money.

As for your internship its nice you have something lined up. But I doubt it pays great and of course it is a short term thing. It would be much better if you could find a full time job and start earning PTO or vacation time. Your situation with asia might be a little different but for me I could put together 4 trips a year to latin america.

With ticket prices from $350-$700 round trip and hotel expenses from $25 to $50 a night. The flight will cost more to asia. So start saving your $$$ and get to working right out of college so you can earn vacation time.

[Celtic_Jorge]

A few tips for someone just starting out in a career. Stay living at home. The only reason to move out is if you dislike your parents or need your own place to bring back girls. So best to stay at home and save money.

I hear that a lot, but it is really out of the question.  I am in my mid-20s now, not 21 and just out of school.  The few friends I have are all either engaged or married now.  I don't need a place to bring back girls - I have only had one real relationship, and that was with the Thai lady, and that started online.  I have never had a regular date.  Never just had fun with American janes.  It's never happened for me.  College was hard, long, stressful, and quite frankly not a pleasant experience.  I am glad it is over.

As for your internship its nice you have something lined up. But I doubt it pays great and of course it is a short term thing. It would be much better if you could find a full time job and start earning PTO or vacation time. Your situation with asia might be a little different but for me I could put together 4 trips a year to latin america.

My internship pays just a LITTLE less than I will make when I become a regular employee.  This is a trade profession I am going into, however a white collar trade.  All the same, it is working class.  Both during the internship, and after the internship.  That said, there is no "vacation time" or "PTO".  It isn't earned.  Also, the reason they are hiring me is they need another licensed man.  When my internship is over, I get my license, then I can work on my own, instead of having someone stand over me and sign for me all of the time.  That is the nature of my trade.  I may get 7-14 days off per year, it hasn't been discussed yet.  More than likely, it is going to be a non-negotiable, 10 days off per year, which I CANNOT accrue to use the following year.  Use it or lose it.

With ticket prices from $350-$700 round trip and hotel expenses from $25 to $50 a night. The flight will cost more to asia. So start saving your $$$ and get to working right out of college so you can earn vacation time.

Cost of travel isn't too important to me.  I don't use credit cards.  I hate the damn things.  I don't have a mortgage.  I am debt free.  I have money left over from school that I didn't use, which I plan to use towards marriage.  I have basically been completely alone for 25 years, aside from 1 year with a very special Thai lady, who I just wasn't personally ready for at the time.  I am tired of being alone all of the time.  I am ready for something else.  It's great advice, but I need to get my life on track now.

[Celtic_Jorge]

I decided to join Thai Love Links.

I went against my better judgment and put a professional photo up of myself and a reasonable description of who I am and what I am looking for.  I doubt anyone would bother to look for me in a place like TLL anyhow.  At least I hope.   

Okay, on the American dating websites, when I used them, I was lucky enough to get a response from TWO users per 4 months, usually one being fake.   

I noticed some people here met their future spouses on TLL.  However, now I am overwhelmed with Thai women showing that they're "interested" in me, and sending me emails.  Is this normal?  I swear, at least 15 girls in one day!  Are they all fake?  Or scammers?  Why am I getting this much attention?  Is this normal?

[evoltnvii]

I was getting several responses daily on filipinaheart some are scammers most are not you just have to sort out what you like from what you dont.

reccomendation...... dont go by pictures go by profiles and emails first then ask her for some pics later if you want to get to know her better

[robert angel]

Anything is possible---but have you read back in the archives about the odds of finding a good wife in Thailand? There are guys here who've pursued Thai ladies, most who've not had luck the first time or two around, will tell you it's  long shot.

Very pretty women, I must say, but I like the odds and the culture better in other Asian nations. Any reason you're not expanding the paremeters of your search?

Pretty much on any foreign site, you'll get quite a few e mails initially--you're the new, fresh bait, after all.

[Bob_S]

now I am overwhelmed with Thai women showing that they're "interested" in me, and sending me emails.  Is this normal?  I swear, at least 15 girls in one day!  Are they all fake?  Or scammers?  Why am I getting this much attention?  Is this normal?

Being overwhelmed with replies is normal.  Some are scammers, but it's impossible to say what percentage are.  One element to your advantage that could increase your number of legitimate responses is that you are so young, and no matter what the agency web sites may say, most young women really do dream of marrying a guy closer to their own age rather than some oyaji closer to her grandfather's age.  They may marry the grandpa out of practical necessity, but you are what they prefer.

[Celtic_Jorge]

Very pretty women, I must say, but I like the odds and the culture better in other Asian nations. Any reason you're not expanding the paremeters of your search?

Pretty much on any foreign site, you'll get quite a few e mails initially--you're the new, fresh bait, after all.

A lot of it has to do with my past experiences with Thais.  I found the culture and the people very warm and appealing.  Perhaps their culture and lifestyle just suits me better, I don't know.  I know that whoever I end up dating in Thailand, she will NOT be my ex, but her culture and personality will most likely be closer than someone of any other Asian country.  The reason me and my ex split up was really a shame.  It was my fault.  Now that I know a little better, and I am actually ready to start thinking about getting married, both mentally and financially, I think that my chances will improve greatly.

[AsphaltVoyager]

CJ, just remember to avoid the ladyboys. Sure all of us would like to think otherwise, but some of them really can fool you. Not forever, mind you, but for awhile, anyhow.

[Dave H]

CJ, just remember to avoid the ladyboys. Sure all of us would like to think otherwise, but some of them really can fool you. Not forever, mind you, but for awhile, anyhow.

Hey AV,

You shouldn't get me started!  Ladyboy = Bakla in Tagalog and bayot in Bisayan. Without watching their movements and mannerisms, it can sometimes be tough to tell. The way they dress can also be a give away. But, some are very, very good "actresses!" 

Dave

Here are a few easy ones...

[AsphaltVoyager]

*WHEW!!* Those were some really UGLY examples, Dave. I've seen some that would blow your socks off with how.... well..... gorgeous they are. Imagine my horror to find out in their profiles that they were ladyboys. I had folled myself into believing I would be able to spot one in an instant (which none of the pics you posted did fool me), but boy was I wrong.

[Dave H]

I've seen some that would blow your socks off with how.... well..... gorgeous they are.

Hey AV,

You are not kidding!  I have been the principle sponsor of a local Miss Gay Philippines pageant for a few years. 

Dave