Excessive followers on Social Media?

[V_Man]

Hi guys,


My wife has about quarter of a million viewers of her page on one of these social media sites. As I understand it, she hasn't connected with all those people. They are looking. The stuff she writes about on there wouldn't interest anything like that number of people. It is obvious that people are coming just to look at the photos of her. No doubt it's mostly men having a perv but I suspect also some women as well. She hasn't mentioned to me, any inappropriate comments from men on there. I don't even know if they can comment there.


On another social media - facebook she did have some minor hassles with women. She actually switched all the photos on her facebook page to be private only and she mostly stopped posting photos there even for family. That was mostly due to jealous women, whom she prefers to avoid.


I am not a twitterface myself. I do use LinkedIn for business reasons. Some YouTube. But otherwise I use very little social media.


Also I should mention that I am the sort of guy that trusts my wife 100%. I also have zero tolerance for cheating. So my complete trust comes with it a completely back and white attitude to this aspect of life.


Getting back to the first social media page I mentioned....
I haven't been worried about her legion of admirers on this site. I just wonder if you guys think I am being naive. Should I be concerned? Should I be paying more attention to what goes on with my wife in social media?


Is this blind trust of mine a positive thing or a foolish thing?
I am interested in your thoughts - although I don't really see myself changing into a suspicious person any time soon.


Also note (in case you were wondering):
 A.  My wife has done nothing wrong and nothing for me to be suspicious about.
B. I haven't gone in there to check all the photos but what I have seen in these photos my wife is dressed as one would see her walking down the street. Being a latina that can be a little racy but she is not half naked or in her bedroom or anything like that. I don't see her posting anything too revealing or being disrespectful to me.
C. I view her legions of admirers as a compliment. It doesn't make me uncomfortable, because it's just online gorking. Well that's my attitude.


So do you think my relaxed attitude is OK or do you think over 200,000 admirers reaches a point that I should be investigating?

[Awesome]

Is it instagram?


If I were you I'd definitely have a problem with it, not because I'd think that it would lead to her cheating, but I just wouldn't want a bunch of strange men staring at photo after photo of my wife.


Women(and some men too) derive some sort of satisfaction from having hundreds, and thousands of online followers/admirers.  I don't like that concept at all, especially for a married woman.  If it were my wife I'd let her know that I don't like it at all and I'd appreciate if she closed the account.  I wouldn't demand that she close it but I'd definitely let her know that I don't like it at all.

[robert angel]

Hi guys,


My wife has about quarter of a million viewers of her page on one of these social media sites. As I understand it, she hasn't connected with all those people. They are looking. The stuff she writes about on there wouldn't interest anything like that number of people. It is obvious that people are coming just to look at the photos of her. No doubt it's mostly men having a perv but I suspect also some women as well. She hasn't mentioned to me, any inappropriate comments from men on there. I don't even know if they can comment there.


On another social media - facebook she did have some minor hassles with women. She actually switched all the photos on her facebook page to be private only and she mostly stopped posting photos there even for family. That was mostly due to jealous women, whom she prefers to avoid.


I am not a twitterface myself. I do use LinkedIn for business reasons. Some YouTube. But otherwise I use very little social media.


Also I should mention that I am the sort of guy that trusts my wife 100%. I also have zero tolerance for cheating. So my complete trust comes with it a completely back and white attitude to this aspect of life.


Getting back to the first social media page I mentioned....
I haven't been worried about her legion of admirers on this site. I just wonder if you guys think I am being naive. Should I be concerned? Should I be paying more attention to what goes on with my wife in social media?


Is this blind trust of mine a positive thing or a foolish thing?
I am interested in your thoughts - although I don't really see myself changing into a suspicious person any time soon.


Also note (in case you were wondering):
 A.  My wife has done nothing wrong and nothing for me to be suspicious about.
B. I haven't gone in there to check all the photos but what I have seen in these photos my wife is dressed as one would see her walking down the street. Being a latina that can be a little racy but she is not half naked or in her bedroom or anything like that. I don't see her posting anything too revealing or being disrespectful to me.
C. I view her legions of admirers as a compliment. It doesn't make me uncomfortable, because it's just online gorking. Well that's my attitude.


So do you think my relaxed attitude is OK or do you think over 200,000 admirers reaches a point that I should be investigating?

Wow--"about a quarter million viewers" is a huge amount. Not sure what the construct of the social media site is or how involved--how widespread her "legion of admirers" are. You indicate she hasn't connected with all these people, so I guess she didn't have to accept an invitation and add each one.

But given those numbers, I think I, and like you seem to be--as well as most other guys would be, there's some concern. That's a LOT of attention. I'd think if you were a head of state, a senator or big celebrity, that might be expected, but a single, never mind a married individual--I don't think it's anywhere near the norm. Maybe in South America, but I'd think even there, that's more than usual.

My wife has facebook, I don't. I don't do any social network--again not facebook, twitter--none of that. I guess this site is the closest thing. On my wife's FB, it's quite clear --right up front that she's married, in fact she had a whole lot of attention there last night because it was her birthday and after the well wishing had piled up, she thanked them and said she was also especially thankful for her health, HUSBAND, etc., etc.

That said, she at times has expressed regret that FB can sort of 'take on a life of it's own' and she sometimes wishes she hadn't accepted members from work, because you accept one, then there's pressure to accept them all and she's very kind and considerate, not wanting to hurt the feelings, especially of people she sees every day.

My phone had FB already installed and defaults to my wife's site. When I click on it (rarely) it's mainly to link in to my son's sites to see what they're up to.

But I'll admit, on my wife's FB, she has a some pretty hot, albeit mostly married 'friends' and sometimes, with her right next to me, I'll ask "Who's that?" and she reply "Why? You think she's HOT?" (and I'll reply--"yes", lol...)

But I'd say I'm pretty relaxed too and part of it is I have seen a lot of guy 'friends of friends'  apparently thinking my wife's pretty (I agree) wanting her to accept them as 'friends'. Guys from all over the world--Asian, white, black, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim... Unless there's a clear history--say they went to University together or work for the same company (just two appropriate examples) she doesn't add them.

Overall, her pictures, some of which include both of us, are modest, but on occasion, she's posted some of days we've been at the beach, but being modest, she doesn't leave stuff like that on very long.

I'd hope you have a presence on her site/s.

We're both pretty relaxed re. 'surveillance' --I'm not checking her phone or web surfing and it's pretty much the same on her end. I think she's got like 200 FB 'friends'. Considering she's worked at several big companies, I think that's manageable and I don't recall seeing any single guys w/o reason to be there--on some occasions, I have asked "Who's THAT?".

So no smoke, I don't expect fire. But if she had a quarter million people, yea, I'd take a closer look.

[fathertime]

My wife has about quarter of a million viewers of her page on one of these social media sites. As I understand it, she hasn't connected with all those people. 

 


LOL...yeah...I think you are safe in suspecting she hasn't connected with 250,000 people!

 


Is this blind trust of mine a positive thing or a foolish thing?
I am interested in your thoughts - although I don't really see myself changing into a suspicious person any time soon.
 

you seem happy enough and don't have any problems with the wife.... so I wouldn't worry about it....my teenage daughters have 1000's of 'viewers/followers'....i don't think it means anything important..I'd chalk it up to just a female being a female

[/size]Fathertime!   

[Elexpatriado]

This kinda crap turns the brain to mush. People should get real pastimes and hobbies.

[Elexpatriado]

I know ral hotwomen on face book and they only have a couple hundred friends.. I dont know what site she is on but the whole thing sounds stupid to me..
 

This kinda crap turns the brain to mush. People should get real pastimes and hobbies.

[JamesDonut]

V, overall I think you have the right attitude about this.  No need to be jealous or suspicious at all.  But I think this would be a good discussion to have with your wife.   As that high number of visitors is a concern. 

It is obvious that people are coming just to look at the photos of her. No doubt it's mostly men having a perv but I suspect also some women as well.

Don't be too sure about this.   I've seen people write about stuff that I think is dreadful.  While everyone else seems to be going gaga over it.   The internet is a weird place.  You may want to sign up for a media tracking service to find out what it is on her page that is getting the most reaction.

On another social media - facebook she did have some minor hassles with women. She actually switched all the photos on her facebook page to be private only and she mostly stopped posting photos there even for family. That was mostly due to jealous women, whom she prefers to avoid.

This is normal for any human being on the web.  And sadly in this day and age not even worth mentioning as its become so common.

Also I should mention that I am the sort of guy that trusts my wife 100%. I also have zero tolerance for cheating. So my complete trust comes with it a completely back and white attitude to this aspect of life.

Getting back to the first social media page I mentioned....
I haven't been worried about her legion of admirers on this site. I just wonder if you guys think I am being naive. Should I be concerned? Should I be paying more attention to what goes on with my wife in social media?

Since you haven't shared the link.  And not even told us what social media outlet it is (blog, instagram, twitter etc.), tells me you are a lot more insecure about it than you think.  Which isn't necessarily a bad thing mind you.  Purely out of safety or privacy concerns if nothing else.

The biggest problem I have with mainstream social media is the lack of anonymity.  I don't like my pictures, comments etc. plastered all over for the masses to see.  Although most people are innocuous, there are the few that have an interest to see what is going on.  This could include nosy employers, co-workers, exes etc.  It's ironic but usually the people you don't want checking things out, are the ones that mostly do. 

There is only one reason I would do all the social media stuff.  And that would be in the case it would help advance my career.  Unless you are some type of media figure or celebrity, in most cases it doesn't help.  Which brings me to my next point.

250,000 seems like a lot a views for a social media page.  The next logical question would be, over how long a period of time?  How many page views does she get monthly or daily?  If she is getting this many views in a short time period, maybe cash in.  She could start a blog or Youtube channel and earn a few extra dollars.  It could be on any topic that interests her.

However as always, being a celebrity comes at a price.  The crazies will start to come out and post crap.  And she would need to be extra careful about what is posted to not give away location etc.

In any case she must be doing something online that people like.  Hopefully its not boob or butt pictures.  But it's a discussion worth having with your wife.  Just to see what her thoughts are and where you want to take this venture.  Or if it would be in her best interest to stop posting stuff. 

[bernard]

People who have instagram accounts are just attention whores, and are very insecure people.  Their whole life surrounds taking selfies and other pictures, posting them and staying glued to their i-phones or computers to see how many "likes" and comments they get.  Now, there are exeptions, but that's it in a nutshell.


I would excpect my wife to spend her time on something more constructive.  Facebook is fine to keep in touch with friends and family.  At one time i had thousands of facebook friends...i now have just a few hundred.  A big waste of time and energy.   I'm sure I could start an Instagram account tomorrow and develop alot of female followers, but their "likes" and comments in no way will make my day or make me feel better about myself.  My ego is doing just fine without that, thank you very much. LOL


V-man, if she was my wife, I'd be having a long talk with her...

[mudd]

just my opinion but instagram if for people who are looking for attention.  and to some extent facebook also.   i see many girls posting daily photos of themselves doing just about every stupid thing under the sun.


just for security, i would tell your wife to ditch the instagram and update  her security setting on facebook to " only friends" and "not searchable".  its amazing what a  stalker or pervert can learn from facebook.

[benjio]

V-Man,


I know a lot of very attractive women here in Latin America. A LOT!!! Most of them are women I work with. Your average office setting in Colombia, Brazil, Argentina, etc. doesn't include many unattractive or older women unless they are REALLY good at what they do or know someone very important. There are two types of girls I've run across. Those that eat up the attetion they get from social media; and the others that don't enjoy it at all. The latter will usually have their profiles so private you can't even find them if they don't want you to. The rest of them get off of social media completely after they realize how exposed they actually are.


My ex-girlfriend that stayed with me for a while here in Brazil felt she needed to share her entire life on Facebook. She had a complete fit when I didn't want to change my FB status to "In a relationship" and associate her name with it. I eventually cracked. She had me taking so many pictures of her here it got annoying. Everywhere we went she was either posing for me or snapping a selfie. Then directly up to Facebook in the next couple of minutes. I explained to her that whatever she puts on the internet, even if it's relatively innocent, will technically be there forever AND you've given anyone who has access to it the opportunity to manipulate it any way they see fit. She didn't think it was a big deal but I pick and choose my arguments. I figured this was a lesson she was going to have to learn the hard way. About 3 weeks after she got here her friend informed her that someone was using her pictures to create a fake profile. I've seen that before but when she showed me the page it blew my mind. There was a person that had actually went out of there way to create an entirely different identity using pictures from her profile. It's a great feeling when you can look at a woman dead in her eyes and you don't even have to say, "I told you so."


All women like attention. It just depends on how much of their self worth is based on the attention they get. I agree with Mudd and Bernard. I think you should suggest that your wife get rid of that profile and up the security on all the others. I can understand a woman in your wife's shoes. She's far from home and sites like Facebook allow her to maintain a connection with her old life. But take it from an IT guy....she needs to lock all of that stuff down or get rid of it. You'd be very surprised what people are doing with photos of beautiful women these days.

[bcc_1_2]

The amount of hits isn't that shocking. American men spam the hell out of American women online. While these social sites have become ingrained in our culture, I do think having personal photos and info out there to the public (especially as a married woman) is not ideal. I'd just talk with her about increasing her privacy settings. If I'm not a good friend of hers or family, then I should not be able to stumble upon her bikini pictures or other personal identifying information.


Does my wife have some good looking photos online... yes. Are they available to the public... no.


You aren't nor should you try to cut out males that know her from her life, but you are trying to cut out stockers and the general public. And should the old boyfriend, college flame, or the zillion guys she friend zoned over the years see all this? Probably not.


Generally if you are traveling overseas to Latin America you are dating hot women and you have zero tolerance for the friend zone. But you are not the norm, and it is freakin crazy the amount of guys in a hot woman's friend zone... especially in the USA.

[Awesome]

The amount of hits isn't that shocking. American men spam the hell out of American women online. While these social sites have become ingrained in our culture, I do think having personal photos and info out there to the public (especially as a married woman) is not ideal. I'd just talk with her about increasing her privacy settings. If I'm not a good friend of hers or family, then I should not be able to stumble upon her bikini pictures or other personal identifying information.


Does my wife have some good looking photos online... yes. Are they available to the public... no.


You aren't nor should you try to cut out males that know her from her life, but you are trying to cut out stockers and the general public. And should the old boyfriend, college flame, or the zillion guys she friend zoned over the years see all this? Probably not.


Generally if you are traveling overseas to Latin America you are dating hot women and you have zero tolerance for the friend zone. But you are not the norm, and it is freakin crazy the amount of guys in a hot woman's friend zone... especially in the USA.

I'm not sure but I think instagram is set up to where it's meant to have "followers" who are just any random guys that you don't know.  It's meant to show yourself off to the world.  I would have a serious problem if my wife was showing herself off to 250k random perverts around the world.

[bcc_1_2]

I'm not sure but I think instagram is set up to where it's meant to have "followers" who are just any random guys that you don't know.  It's meant to show yourself off to the world.  I would have a serious problem if my wife was showing herself off to 250k random perverts around the world.

I'm not going to make any assumptions as to what all she participates in. I have noticed that all the attention brings out some bad traits in gringas. If the privacy settings are not reasonable then by all means only keep active profiles on sites that have respectable privacy features available. I'm simply noting the difference between posting public versus keeping up with friends. I think it's wrong to keep your mate from socializing with friends. I find it acceptable to ask her not to post things to the general public. That's the line we walk here.

[Awesome]

I'm not going to make any assumptions as to what all she participates in. I have noticed that all the attention brings out some bad traits in gringas. If the privacy settings are not reasonable then by all means only keep active profiles on sites that have respectable privacy features available. I'm simply noting the difference between posting public versus keeping up with friends. I think it's wrong to keep your mate from socializing with friends. I find it acceptable to ask her not to post things to the general public. That's the line we walk here.

Yea well in this particular case we're talking about 250,000 people staring at her photos every day(and doing who knows what else).  I highly doubt vman's wife has 250k "friends".  And he already said it's not facebook, which means it's either instagram or a very similar website.  Facebook is meant to socialize with friends and family, instagram and other sites are meant to show yourself off to the world.


I'm always very suspect of women who feel the need to impress people on the internet by looking sexy and being "admired".  Vman, how old is your wife and how much do you REALLY know about her past history before the two of you met?

[bcc_1_2]

Yea well in this particular case we're talking about 250,000 people staring at her photos every day(and doing who knows what else).  I highly doubt vman's wife has 250k "friends".  And he already said it's not facebook, which means it's either instagram or a very similar website.  Facebook is meant to socialize with friends and family, instagram and other sites are meant to show yourself off to the world.


I'm always very suspect of women who feel the need to impress people on the internet by looking sexy and being "admired".  Vman, how old is your wife and how much do you REALLY know about her past history before the two of you met?

Not every girl on instagram is crazy.And if you are suggesting guys jerk off to instagram photos. I mean I guess anything is possible, but there is also.... porn.


Let me say this. I'd rather the OP go to his wife and get her thoughts about it. I think that would be far more en-lighting if she didn't know his thoughts... and he just gathered hers to analyze

[Calipro]

t one time i had thousands of facebook friends...i now have just a few hundred.  A big waste of time and energy.   I'm sure I could start an Instagram account tomorrow and develop alot of female followers, but their "likes" and comments in no way will make my day or make me feel better about myself.  My ego is doing just fine without that, thank you very much. LOL

Last time I checked we have 24 facebook friends in common.....I keep blocking them as I find them but it's like playing whack a mole.

[Awesome]

Not every girl on instagram is crazy.And if you are suggesting guys jerk off to instagram photos. I mean I guess anything is possible, but there is also.... porn.

Not every girl on instargram is crazy, but every girl who's feeding photo after photo to her loyal "followers" has some issues.  Why are they so motivated to impress thousands of strangers?  She's not getting paid for it.

Let me say this. I'd rather the OP go to his wife and get her thoughts about it. I think that would be far more en-lighting if she didn't know his thoughts... and he just gathered hers to analyze

This is easier said than done.  Vman might be scared to confront her about it, you know, the whole latina temper tantrum and all.  She might blow it totally out of proportion and they end up in a big fight.  If he does decide to talk to her about it he better choose his words very carefully.

[bernard]

Last time I checked we have 24 facebook friends in common.....I keep blocking them as I find them but it's like playing whack a mole.

Maybe you should stop checking....funny, I dont have any friends that show YOU AS a friend in common, (of course I know ur real name, lol) so obviously you use a fictional facebook name.  Why is that?   And of course that also means that your girlfriends are seeking me out.  Hope that doesn't make you jealous.  If it makes you feel better, send me a pm with your ficticious facebook name and I'll delete those girls.   LMAO....gotta wonder what a guy has to hide to use a fictional facebook name...smh


Outt of curiosity, how often do you check up on my facebook page?   Hell, be a man and just send me a friend request, I'll accept you...just don't drool over my pictures...LOL...your wierdness ceases to amaze me.   I'll await ur request.


Also have no idea what your post has to do with this thread.  Whats your point?  At one time you had my phone number.  If you still have it, be a man and give me a call (i dont have urs)...if not send me a pm and I'll give it to you, and we can discuss any issues yiu have with me and not distract from this forum.

[Calipro]

Maybe you should stop checking....funny, I dont have any friends that show YOU AS a friend in common, (of course I know ur real name, lol) so obviously you use a fictional facebook name.  Why is that?   And of course that also means that your girlfriends are seeking me out.  Hope that doesn't make you jealous.  If it makes you feel better, send me a pm with your ficticious facebook name and I'll delete those girls.   LMAO....gotta wonder what a guy has to hide to use a fictional facebook name...smh


Outt of curiosity, how often do you check up on my facebook page?   Hell, be a man and just send me a friend request, I'll accept you...just don't drool over my pictures...LOL...your wierdness ceases to amaze me.   I'll await ur request.


Also have no idea what your post has to do with this thread.  Whats your point?  At one time you had my phone number.  If you still have it, be a man and give me a call (i dont have urs)...if not send me a pm and I'll give it to you, and we can discuss any issues yiu have with me and not distract from this forum.

There is no way I'm going to send you my facebook name or friend you....that is just crazy.  Besides all the mutual friends I could actually see...I already blocked. There are a few I guessed at and got but a couple still remain unfortunately.


There was one I had to block repeatedly.....she kept making new accounts and trying to friend me....that's when I decided to change my name again. jajaja


Really can't imagine what you do with that dike anyway. LOL!....I hope she is just hooking you up with her girlfriends.


I usually check your profile after I have added a number of new friends.....if the mutual friend tally goes up on your page I know I have a bad one in the bunch. LMFAO!

[robert angel]

I got a feeling they'll be warming up in the bullpen for extra innings before this is thread's done!

[bernard]

There is no way I'm going to send you my facebook name or friend you....that is just crazy. 

You're right CP, what was I thinking?  Why subject yourself to anything that would make you feel more insecure about yourself and make you hold me in even higher esteem?  LMFAO also!!

Hey, the mods have me on "watch" so I am going to leave this be.  Of course everything else in your post is true...    

Just remember when you see my profile picture with that million dollar (natural) smile, gorgeous head of hair and perfect nose, well...we all have to accept ourselves how God made us, and there are some things that even veneers and plastic surgery can't buy.  O

keep on being the "Pro" that you are!   

Sorry mods and V man if this thread got hijacked. I won't respond to anymore of CP's taunts. 

[JamesDonut]

Yea well in this particular case we're talking about 250,000 people staring at her photos every day(and doing who knows what else).

Careful V-man didn't say 250k hits a day.  He just said it has 250,000 hits.  Over what time period we don't know.   We would all know who she was if 250k hits a day were true.  That many is considered Chocolate Rain type viral stuff.

[WaineShay]

I can "thank" ClassMates dot com and all the spam it generated, for training me to be leery of "social media" as a genre.


I did finally make two fake FaceBook accounts, one was to keep an eye on a crazy untrustworthy in-law. And the other was to stay in touch with a couple of politically active people. I could delete both now ... but it's sometimes helpful to have a FaceBook account in order to follow a link. I've seen it mentioned that some people have fake accounts just to post on newspaper comment sections since many of them have been converting away from Disqus format.


Yeah I've looked up my old high school peers on FaceBook. And I think "Gawd! We're all getting old!!" Nah, I don't need to be friended and tagged by people I hardly knew in the first place. At my last 25 year reunion, I realized how hard it was to make conversation anyway. They were all basically strangers now.

[bcc_1_2]

I can "thank" ClassMates dot com and all the spam it generated, for training me to be leery of "social media" as a genre.


I did finally make two fake FaceBook accounts, one was to keep an eye on a crazy untrustworthy in-law. And the other was to stay in touch with a couple of politically active people. I could delete both now ... but it's sometimes helpful to have a FaceBook account in order to follow a link. I've seen it mentioned that some people have fake accounts just to post on newspaper comment sections since many of them have been converting away from Disqus format.


Yeah I've looked up my old high school peers on FaceBook. And I think "Gawd! We're all getting old!!" Nah, I don't need to be friended and tagged by people I hardly knew in the first place. At my last 25 year reunion, I realized how hard it was to make conversation anyway. They were all basically strangers now.

It's actually quite the chuckle to run into old classmates/friends (especially gringas you knew/possible did stuff with) with your latina in tow. Actually worth quite the laugh because many times the gringas have let themselves go... so you don't recognize them off the bat, but they recognize you. And then you introduce your wife from Honduras, Colombia etc and they don't know wtf to think most of the time. I'm 31 and it's happened plenty of times... some girl comes up to you that looks like she's had one too many Natty lights and says hi I'm Brittany from school.

[Awesome]

Careful V-man didn't say 250k hits a day.  He just said it has 250,000 hits.  Over what time period we don't know.   We would all know who she was if 250k hits a day were true.  That many is considered Chocolate Rain type viral stuff.

Actually he said "250k viewers".  I take that to mean "followers", or fans, or whatever they're called on instagram.