It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

+-

+-PL Gallery Random Image


Author Topic: Seeking advice from survivors!!  (Read 1068 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline mambocowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1143
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #25 on: August 12, 2017, 10:25:34 PM »
Now see Rob, there you go again writing a great story (non-fiction).  You give great insight to these forums and much hope to the men looking to find the same dream come true relationship.


You may have an idea on how similar your story is to many of the men in the US, but you have no idea how helpful you are still sharing what you've been through.  I find it a bit disturbing that only you and cowboy were the only 2, if i'm not mistaken that replied back to this forum thus far and shared some wisdom.  Or, perhaps everyone else is just enjoying their happy life.


But as i was saying, your journey is very similar and especially to mine. I wasted a lot of time chasing women in NY and everywhere i traveled to in my 20's and 30's, but i never considered marrying a foreign woman until I started researching it.  I'm rolling on at 43 now, but I know i'm still young and able to start my search for a good wife and raise up a family with her.  I watch my healthy pretty closely so i'm sure I'm still a good catch, except for the fortune i spent trying to start failed businesses.  But it's the journey in all this that has made me much wiser and like you, i said, ok i'm 40 now, that's it, i'm gonna do things the right way so i left my job and starting working on everything i wanted for myself.  I'm back to work now, but i'm more clear minded than I've ever been.


I'm looking forward to my trip to barranquilla to visit Jamie's spot, but i may not make my final decision then and there. The second trip i will find a hotel nearby and date locally as someone on the forum once suggested. I'm surrounded by beautiful spanish women here in NY, especially the bronx, unfortunately, they are either married, have 2 or 3 kids, or are much younger and looking for someone to take care of them.


Luckily, I managed to not make any kids thus far, so i'm good there, but i still want that.  I currently live in NY and let me tell you, all the trouble i had in the past with good looking women, trying to get into a relationship with them, and now to see many of them having 3 kids, 2 kids, well lets just say i have trouble shaking them off. They throwing that pussy at me every weekend they have a chance to get away from their kids. And if i meet a woman with no children, Ay dios mio!!, she is so f****** picky, and disrespectful and lazy and has such a bad attitude towards anything we may happen to disagree with. I'm done with all that. I'm gonna write something amazing one day as you've been doing in this forum.


Remind me again how you guys met Rob? Which country is she from? And great post as always bro!!
Turning 40 was life changing for me too. All of a sudden I had the idea to start looking overseas and never looked back. Once you know what you want in life....

Offline robert angel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4935
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Goin 'whole hog' August 2017
  • Spouse's Country: The Philippines
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #26 on: August 13, 2017, 08:46:12 AM »
There's a lot that a number of guys here could contribute. The starts and stops, mis steps and more. Everyone's journey is different.

Maybe some guys don't want to talk about things that aren't great, the bumps along the way. I really don't know.

But learning from failure, not quitting, not painting all women the same way just because some did you wrong, that helped me.

You fall off the horse, dust yourself off and get back on....

I met my wife thru a Filipina who of all places, lived in Vermont. We met in an international chat room on Yahoo, back when that site was still a big deal. Anyway, she tried to fix me up with her sister. Her sister was very nice, but we weren't 'right' for each other. To her credit, she didn't get angry with me.

Here's the hinge though. I didn't just stop communicating like folks online typically do. We all stayed cordial, I got to know her Vermont raised husband too Not being bitter or put out, they introduced me to my wife, who they'd met on Yahoo and got to know each other.

Therein lies a hint. Spread your web wide. I cultivated friendships online with a lot of people of all ages. In my trips too, face to face. Everybody's got freinds, relatives, info on where to stay, eat, where to go. I had Grandmothers, taxi drivers, hotel doormen etc, all helping me out, trying to match me up.

But women older than me in particular, helped me a lot in learning about the culture. Some of them offered to match me up, and importantly, explained their were several types of women out there, and how things really worked.

Here's but a few types: the cute, young, pretty babe, usually just with a high school education if that,  who just wants to see some nice hotels, resorts, maybe have you buy her a bathing suit, a few travel outfits. A travel partner, with ''benefits'. Nothing perverse or underhanded.

Then there were, and these were usually women 25 to 35 years old, that you had to spend at least a few days close to their home first, but relatives of the 'match maker' who were educated, held jobs. Some of them had a child or two. These match makers, often important women in their families and hometowns, also were often honest about the availibility of 'easy' women the pitfalls there, while typically not damning them. Very 'matter of fact' but helpful to a foriegner who might not otherwise see the distinctions between these and other types of women, including differences between more rurally raised and city raised women. That's a whole topic in it's own right.

But getting to know people, making postive impressions, saying that (however unlikely) that if they came to my area of  the country, I'd show them around, all that increased my circle of prospects exponentially. Just being 'nice' and not coming off like some 'big shot' can get you a long way.

Two sided sword there though, in that you might spend a lot more time and money checking possibilities out, but then again you've got people in the inside, telling you how things, usually how 'people', really are. It just can give you more info on women than an online profile or agency typically can, although I hear that Jamie really does a good job of all that, down in Colombia. I've heard he's 'got your back' pretty well, one of the last agencies worth their salt.

But like in life in general, not burning your bridges after passing through an experience, that's usually a better approach with relationships, I think. Although they say "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", lol and I dated some Latinas that before we split, got madder than bobcats in burlap bags, before eventually (usually) chilling out. Almost every woman I've ever had a relationship with would still give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek today, which I think is great.

I was in a meeting not so long ago and by chance, a woman I was hot n heavy with almost 30 years before, when I was in my early twenties, was there. Man, we used to get hot enough
that the wallpaper came off the walls, lol.

What could've been an uncomfortable occasion, was instead great and afterwards, discussing all the wild n crazy stuff we did togther, where our lives had taken us, it was all great.

I tell my sons not to just 'hit and run' but to try and end things well and when things, as they occasionally do, flameout in a bad way, to try and not look back in anger. It only clouds the mind, creating bad energy.

Reach!
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

Offline Researcher

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3824
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • The Perfect Match!
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #27 on: August 15, 2017, 07:01:53 PM »
So you've gone to baranquilla or other places in colombia and found your dream girl.  You brought your wife back to the US and got married.  I'm calling out to the guys that made it happen and were successful.  I've never seen an aftermath post, so i thought i'd put one out there to see if this is a successful venture. How's life going with your foreign bride 1yr 2yrs or even 5 years and beyond? Was it everything you expected it to be? Any regrets that newbies like myself should be looking out for? And if you didn't make it are  you going to go back and try again?

My Colombiana and I just celebrated our 10th year anniversary. Best thing I have ever done. I was married twice before to American women and neither marriage lasted more than 3 years.

What you should be looking out for is not getting caught up in having so many choices that you lose sight of what you really want in a relationship. Be realistic. There are some awesome women out there and there are many phonies. I was lucky enough that my wife turned out to be the real deal.
Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Planet-Love.com

Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #27 on: August 15, 2017, 07:01:53 PM »

Offline Neoblk40

  • New Member
  • *
  • Posts: 26
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Looking 0-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #28 on: Yesterday at 05:37:27 PM »
That's awesome Researcher!!! Thanks for sharing man.  I will definitely keep this in mind. Did you guys meet online, on a marriage tour, or vacation? I'm kinda trying to give myself time to try all 3 of these options.

Offline Neoblk40

  • New Member
  • *
  • Posts: 26
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Looking 0-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #29 on: Yesterday at 05:48:26 PM »
Rob, thanks for the deep advice as well. Your definitely right about keeping the friends network going. I used to chat it up with this girl I met online who lived in Honduras. We've been chat buddies for like 2 years. She always remembers my birthday, and every relative holiday to the US. I was surprised in some cases that she kept in touch so much. Ofcourse, she could have been looking for the green card, but you never know. After many photo exchanges and chats, things kinda drifted off. I feel bad about it too. She always asks if i met my novia yet.  We just didn't have that romantic anything while chatting ya know or any sexting play.  On the other hand i don't want a sexting with me all the time, but somewhere in the middle would have been nice. Anyways, my gaze is now on Colombia.


I can't tell you the amount of time i heard someone on Jamie's sight say DONT EMAIL them and then go met them in Colombia.  Seeing is believing according to many. So i'm thinking about it hard. Im figuring when i get down there i will meet a few ladies that will keep me very busy over the chat lines until next year when i go back.

Offline Researcher

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3824
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • The Perfect Match!
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #30 on: Yesterday at 06:48:24 PM »
That's awesome Researcher!!! Thanks for sharing man.  I will definitely keep this in mind. Did you guys meet online, on a marriage tour, or vacation? I'm kinda trying to give myself time to try all 3 of these options.

We met thru an agency in Bogota. She has been in the US 9 years. Since then she has learned how to drive, learned English, got her GED here, earned a bachelors degree from a major university and now she is an accountant working for the State. She has accomplished more in this time than many accomplish their whole life.
Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Offline mambocowboy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1143
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #31 on: Yesterday at 09:25:37 PM »
We met thru an agency in Bogota. She has been in the US 9 years. Since then she has learned how to drive, learned English, got her GED here, earned a bachelors degree from a major university and now she is an accountant working for the State. She has accomplished more in this time than many accomplish their whole life.
Not surprising for a cachaca. Barranquilleras have more difficulty adjusting,  generally...

Offline Researcher

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3824
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • The Perfect Match!
  • Spouse's Country: Colombia
  • Status: Married >5 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Seeking advice from survivors!!
« Reply #32 on: Today at 06:35:19 AM »
Not surprising for a cachaca. Barranquilleras have more difficulty adjusting,  generally...

Her biggest adjustment has been getting used to living in the small town we live in.
Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Sponsor Twr1R

PL Stats

Members
Total Members: 5403
Latest: Rjefferies
New This Month: 8
New This Week: 1
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 128085
Total Topics: 7589
Most Online Today: 100
Most Online Ever: 246
(October 15, 2011, 02:48:59 PM)
Users Online
Members: 2
Guests: 75
Total: 77
Powered by EzPortal