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Author Topic: THE QUESTION OF CLASS  (Read 4906 times)

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Offline benjio

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THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« on: November 07, 2017, 11:04:34 AM »
Although this subject is very seldomly discussed here I’ve found that socio-economic backgrounds can be just as important as characteristics like age, religion and children from prior relationships in determining how successful a couple will ultimately be. There’s usually no question for the foreign women we date/marry because in most cases we are potentially or actually improving upon their quality of life by bringing them to countries with much more opportunity. If not that, we're going to and living in their countries and using our earning power to build a better life for them there. However, the situation becomes much more complex when those tables are turned. Although this doesn’t happen to a lot of gringos, I found myself in a relationship with a woman that comes from a relatively affluent background. By committing herself to a life with me her quality of life isn’t worse per se; but if I’m independently taking care of our family I can’t come close to doing the things her family could do for her. The occasional gift from her father is fine. Perhaps helping us get started by paying down on a house or giving us capital to start a business would be acceptable as well. But in my honest opinion a man’s ego will not allow his wife’s former lifestyle to continue to be supported by her father. When you marry a woman, if she’s lucky enough to have her father in her life, he is metaphorically handing her over to you like property at the wedding. This gesture isn’t only symbolic though. It’s tangible. It’s concrete.

If a woman is used to spending her summers vacationing in Europe for example, one might find the fact that her father is footing the bill for that a little disturbing. If you have a child with that woman and she insist on being away with him for three months every year, things might only become more complicated. The “family money” factor is just the tip of the iceberg.

People with a lot of money are not like most of us. I’ve found a lot of them live with the paranoid delusion that anyone else that’s not rich wants something from them or is trying to use them. I understand that in many cases that’s very true, but not in every case. Spending time with people like that act this way is draining. There are places you can’t go. People you can’t be seen with. Certain things you do or don’t say. In my opinion learning to act accordingly around other rich people once you become wealthy is more difficult that earning the money itself. I’m simply too down to earth for that.

It’s been said here on numerous occasions that the ideal woman in a place like Latin America is one that’s not poor, educated, from a good family, with no kids, etc. But the extreme end of this idea may be just a detrimental to a relationship as the worst case.  It has been difficult for me. Off and on. A lot of arguing. But we’re trying. What else can we do? We love our son.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2017, 11:09:43 AM by benjio »

Offline utopiacowboy

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2017, 11:34:11 AM »
I think if you give it time and are patient it will sort itself out. Which is what I think you are doing anyway.

Offline mambocowboy

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2017, 02:27:21 PM »
Although this subject is very seldomly discussed here I’ve found that socio-economic backgrounds can be just as important as characteristics like age, religion and children from prior relationships in determining how successful a couple will ultimately be. There’s usually no question for the foreign women we date/marry because in most cases we are potentially or actually improving upon their quality of life by bringing them to countries with much more opportunity. If not that, we're going to and living in their countries and using our earning power to build a better life for them there. However, the situation becomes much more complex when those tables are turned. Although this doesn’t happen to a lot of gringos, I found myself in a relationship with a woman that comes from a relatively affluent background. By committing herself to a life with me her quality of life isn’t worse per se; but if I’m independently taking care of our family I can’t come close to doing the things her family could do for her. The occasional gift from her father is fine. Perhaps helping us get started by paying down on a house or giving us capital to start a business would be acceptable as well. But in my honest opinion a man’s ego will not allow his wife’s former lifestyle to continue to be supported by her father. When you marry a woman, if she’s lucky enough to have her father in her life, he is metaphorically handing her over to you like property at the wedding. This gesture isn’t only symbolic though. It’s tangible. It’s concrete.

If a woman is used to spending her summers vacationing in Europe for example, one might find the fact that her father is footing the bill for that a little disturbing. If you have a child with that woman and she insist on being away with him for three months every year, things might only become more complicated. The “family money” factor is just the tip of the iceberg.

People with a lot of money are not like most of us. I’ve found a lot of them live with the paranoid delusion that anyone else that’s not rich wants something from them or is trying to use them. I understand that in many cases that’s very true, but not in every case. Spending time with people like that act this way is draining. There are places you can’t go. People you can’t be seen with. Certain things you do or don’t say. In my opinion learning to act accordingly around other rich people once you become wealthy is more difficult that earning the money itself. I’m simply too down to earth for that.

It’s been said here on numerous occasions that the ideal woman in a place like Latin America is one that’s not poor, educated, from a good family, with no kids, etc. But the extreme end of this idea may be just a detrimental to a relationship as the worst case.  It has been difficult for me. Off and on. A lot of arguing. But we’re trying. What else can we do? We love our son.
There are challenges whichever way you go. Marrying poor  was better for me in that i can always provide better for my wife than her parents could for her. But it hasnt been a bed of roses. People who grow up poor like my wife tend to believe that money will solve all problems...one challenge you and i share is trying to coparent. No matter what, even if we separate from our child's mom, its in our kid's best interest for us to minimize conflict and to get along with their mom...

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2017, 02:27:21 PM »

Offline buencamino3

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2017, 04:11:25 PM »
"If you have a child with that woman and she insist on being away with him for three months every year, things might only become more complicated."

I would say something sounds very rotton in Denmark
Hermosamente feliz

Offline vikingo

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2017, 04:57:08 PM »
Benjio, I don't want to patronize you, just consider that I am most  likely twice as old as you are. You took a woman from an upper class family out of her environment, away from family and friends to a place that will always be foreign to her. Homesickness can be a strong emotional burden on most Latinas, especially if they aren't out to improve their economical situation or that of their closest family. I think you have two choices, let her go home whenever she feels like it for how long she wants - or find a way to make a living in her home town. Her parents have the means and the strongest influence over her; they want to see their grandchild growing up. Most grandparents would go through hell and high water to be near their grandchild. Happened to me once and it finally destroyed our relationship.
Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see.

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #5 on: November 07, 2017, 04:57:39 PM »
"If you have a child with that woman and she insist on being away with him for three months every year, things might only become more complicated."

I would say something sounds very rotton in Denmark


Immaturity

Offline benjio

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #6 on: November 07, 2017, 05:12:01 PM »
Benjio, I don't want to patronize you, just consider that I am most  likely twice as old as you are. You took a woman from an upper class family out of her environment, away from family and friends to a place that will always be foreign to her. Homesickness can be a strong emotional burden on most Latinas, especially if they aren't out to improve their economical situation or that of their closest family. I think you have two choices, let her go home whenever she feels like it for how long she wants - or find a way to make a living in her home town. Her parents have the means and the strongest influence over her; they want to see their grandchild growing up. Most grandparents would go through hell and high water to be near their grandchild. Happened to me once and it finally destroyed our relationship.

She has been in Rio since August. I’m glad she left. Her being here during the storm would have been a nightmare for me. I’ll go down a couple of weeks during the holidays. Whether or not she returns with me is questionable. Keep in mind she has the means to travel back and forth to the U.S. as often as she pleases. But my 4 bedroom house isn’t her 3 bedroom, luxury penthouse apartment. Her BMW is there, not here...and I’m not buying her a car until she decides to stay. Then as you stated, there’s the grandparents and the friends. She also has a nanny there so all the responsibility of caring for him doesn’t fall on her when she’s in Rio. I know that sounds horrible but I’m trying to explain to you guys how she thinks...RICH GIRL!!!  Cariocas are also beach people. Those people can’t live without the beach. It’s a cultural thing. Needless to say the ones here in Texas can’t compare. I can definitely understand her point of view. She comes from money. It’s very hard for me to explain how rich people think and it’s harder for them to understand us. Again this simply isn’t something we thought about during the honeymoon period. We were just having fun. Real life time now though. I don’t want to be taken care of by her father while I figure things out in Rio. That’s what she wants. I’ve always made my own way.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2017, 05:38:14 PM by benjio »

Offline mambocowboy

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #7 on: November 07, 2017, 05:16:28 PM »
Benjio, I don't want to patronize you, just consider that I am most  likely twice as old as you are. You took a woman from an upper class family out of her environment, away from family and friends to a place that will always be foreign to her. Homesickness can be a strong emotional burden on most Latinas, especially if they aren't out to improve their economical situation or that of their closest family. I think you have two choices, let her go home whenever she feels like it for how long she wants - or find a way to make a living in her home town. Her parents have the means and the strongest influence over her; they want to see their grandchild growing up. Most grandparents would go through hell and high water to be near their grandchild. Happened to me once and it finally destroyed our relationship.
I know plenty of poor costenas married to gringos who also return home frequently,  on the gringo's dime...but there's no way in hell i'm going three months without my daughters. Plus, any woman needs the american dad's notarized written permission before she boards an overseas flight with his child....

Offline benjio

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #8 on: November 07, 2017, 05:34:00 PM »
"If you have a child with that woman and she insist on being away with him for three months every year, things might only become more complicated."

I would say something sounds very rotton in Denmark

I won this argument....NOT HAPPENING!!! I brought it up as it was a big issue at the time. She’s a hot blooded, crazy Latina like any other but she can be logical when I sit down and talk to her. It’s one thing I’ve really learned to appreciate. She’s only going for a month and leaving my son with me. I doubt she makes it 2 weeks away from him though. We have a running bet.

Offline mambocowboy

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #9 on: November 07, 2017, 05:55:57 PM »
I won this argument....NOT HAPPENING!!! I brought it up as it was a big issue at the time. She’s a hot blooded, crazy Latina like any other but she can be logical when I sit down and talk to her. It’s one thing I’ve really learned to appreciate. She’s only going for a month and leaving my son with me. I doubt she makes it 2 weeks away from him though. We have a running bet.
Take the under

Offline mudd

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #10 on: November 07, 2017, 08:08:58 PM »
tough subject, tough situation.  very hard for that type of women to let go of her past lifestyle, more so when she is not so level headed and little " hot blooded"  that can be a  big challenge.


not that this is your situation, but i  know a few colombianas who used to return home without the gringo husband and were hooking up with an ex in their home  city.


most latin women settle down when their is a child involved so you have that going for you. but if this keeps up, i think you will have to eventually make a choice that you may not like. either let her go, or move to her  past country and city.

Offline benjio

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #11 on: November 07, 2017, 08:49:17 PM »

not that this is your situation, but i  know a few colombianas who used to return home without the gringo husband and were hooking up with an ex in their home  city.


Good point Mudd and believe me it’s crossed my mind several times. She hasn’t given me any reason to think there may be someone else back there but I’m not the kind of guy who’d ever assume it’s impossible. We talk a lot. Usually six times a day. And when we’re together the sex is still frequent and amazing. I think you’re right though. I don’t see this thing working out on my terms. I’m going to have to give in or cut my losses. The thought of not being a constant presence in my son’s life is gut wrenching though. I’m getting nauseated just sitting here putting it into words.

Offline JWR

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #12 on: November 08, 2017, 04:41:17 AM »
Some women are just accustomed to having their needs met 1st.  When the husband's needs are down on the list, that gets old pretty quick.  The more money that a girl grows up with, often the less she's had to learn to compromise about anything.  Without regular compromise, a marriage just isn't going to last.  Spoiled girls will compromise, but most often begrudgingly. 

It's tough to come to terms with reality when you wake up one day and realize that you married a girl that is slightly spoiled, often lacks empathy for her husband, and may not value the marriage as much as the husband. 

Appreciation, and gratitude about things in life are a very good trait in a girl.  Not just talking about material things.  Girls that grow up with too much money that they haven't ever had to work for, often lack gratitude.  That is not easy to live with.

Work builds character, and teaches empathy.  Girls that haven't worked in their lives are not easy to live with.

Some of this may or may not apply to this situation, but they are my observations and experiences.



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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #12 on: November 08, 2017, 04:41:17 AM »

Offline robert angel

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #13 on: November 08, 2017, 07:55:34 AM »
Beyond 'class' and granted one usually goes with the other, it all too often boils down to money, the comforts, independence, status and  life style it can bring. Cold hard cash, and the pleasures it provides. No, it can't buy you good health--the most precious thing of all, but despite all the verse about love being unwavering, forever, for richer or poorer,  better or worse, money often throws a wicked wrench into the whole scenario.

Having too much or too little, it can be a real mother f--er. The leading cause of divorce, along with infidelity and addictions.

In my first marriage, once things started to get rough and she was making a pretty large income--able, although she didn't----to alone pay for the house, all expenses and still invest, we were going down hill quick--and with two little kids in tow. I was also a significant bread winner, but I wasn't essential anymore.

Once she figured out she didn't need me anymore to maintain her desired life style, that calculation was constantly in her mind. Once that calculus, that 'seed' is planted, it's hard to remove. It's been close to twenty years since then and although she's still for her age, attractive enough to model, she's never pursued a relationship since. She likes 'things' more, her Rolex, expensive cars, exotic vacations, investments, etc.

I suppose it would be squared even more if a spouse was used to having maids, servants clean the house, change diapers and able to just go shopping, have manicures, etc. Also able to go out, mix and be viewed as a person of status outside the house--away from the marital environment. Then to have all that comfort, status, house work supports and familiarity disappear in a foreign land it's tough for even the most dedicated spouse.

Add in unable, not used to, or unwilling to work and being home alone and it's very hard. Life can suddenly seem like a 'sentence' more than freedom.

Once that 'aloneness' that being apart feeling sets in, it can fuel bad thoughts. "Absence makes the heart fonder" goes the old saying, but I sometimes think "they should replace 'fonder' with 'wander' and perhaps 'heart' with 'mind'. Add the responsibilities of a child, along with a foreign language TV in the background, language also creating other divides, tensions, isolation from family, their money, moral support and culture, it's tough to remain romantically focused and committed.

Hell, I even worried about the period of time my wife had to stay at home before she was legally able to work in the USA. I offered her cable TV in her language, a puppy, got her many magazine subcriptions, cookbooks---she didn't want, use or take me up on any of that. But economically, she was always looking to work and send money home--that was an extra element of 'glue' if you will, keeping us together. Still does. That helps us a lot.

We still not only love each other, but we need each other. We also have created a 'bucket list' of goals, places to visit, things to do together.

Invariably, the unity, the devotion of marital vows, are going to experience stress cracks. Even the best marriage I've ever witnessed first hand-- my parent's fifty plus years together, had a few from time to time.

But given those 'cracks'---money, be it too much or too little, often becomes a cold, hard steel wedge that often creates even greater divides, all too often splitting what was once viewed as one, inseparable couple back into two parties.

Doesn't have to be, but to avoid it requires a lot of communication about feelings and how to make things work, provided  both sides are still hoping for that.
Whether you think you can or think you can't--you're right!

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #14 on: November 08, 2017, 11:27:32 AM »
She has been in Rio since August. I’m glad she left. Her being here during the storm would have been a nightmare for me. I’ll go down a couple of weeks during the holidays. Whether or not she returns with me is questionable. Keep in mind she has the means to travel back and forth to the U.S. as often as she pleases. But my 4 bedroom house isn’t her 3 bedroom, luxury penthouse apartment. Her BMW is there, not here...and I’m not buying her a car until she decides to stay. Then as you stated, there’s the grandparents and the friends. She also has a nanny there so all the responsibility of caring for him doesn’t fall on her when she’s in Rio. I know that sounds horrible but I’m trying to explain to you guys how she thinks...RICH GIRL!!!  Cariocas are also beach people. Those people can’t live without the beach. It’s a cultural thing. Needless to say the ones here in Texas can’t compare. I can definitely understand her point of view. She comes from money. It’s very hard for me to explain how rich people think and it’s harder for them to understand us. Again this simply isn’t something we thought about during the honeymoon period. We were just having fun. Real life time now though. I don’t want to be taken care of by her father while I figure things out in Rio. That’s what she wants. I’ve always made my own way.


I can sympathize with you buddy. My GF puts her family ahead of our relationship and likes her own "space". She is no way rich, but is a professional and consIders herself " independent".(though she doesnt mind my financial support LOL)

But I have no.plans to.marry her or have a baby.We are both.probably too.old anyway.

Yes I think  it is immaturity or different values. Some will say.if a person is too "clingy" if you dont let them.be independent and have thier own "space".

Whatever. It is what it is.Things arent like they were 60 years agoi  a y country.





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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #15 on: November 08, 2017, 11:23:35 PM »

 My GF puts her family ahead of our relationship and likes her own "space". She is no way rich, but is a professional and consIders herself " independent".(though she doesnt mind my financial support LOL)

But I have no.plans to.marry her or have a baby.We are both.probably too.old anyway.



What exactly motivates you to continue in.... what is essentially a dead end relationship.


Personally I would rather play the field

Offline vikingo

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #16 on: November 09, 2017, 01:40:51 AM »
Extremely strong family ties and associated home sickness for family friends and culture, for us often hard to understand if we don't have a Latino background. Add to that the usually long distance and associated costly airfare for her to go home and visit, and the required frequency of those visits to keep her sane. In the back of our mind wondering what could happen if she accidentally bumps into an old boyfriend at home and how needy she is at the time.
I like predictability - there are too many unknowns if you bring your wife home to a strange environment for her and often to a much harsher climate. And now you will have to face competition you didn't have to worry about in her country.
Of course there are exceptions, but relatively few. We haven't heard from Whitey for a while and his lovely wife...
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Offline vikingo

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #17 on: November 09, 2017, 02:05:00 AM »
I won this argument....NOT HAPPENING!!! I brought it up as it was a big issue at the time. She’s a hot blooded, crazy Latina like any other but she can be logical when I sit down and talk to her. It’s one thing I’ve really learned to appreciate. She’s only going for a month and leaving my son with me. I doubt she makes it 2 weeks away from him though. We have a running bet.
The fact that she is willing to leave her tiny baby behind for a month would be a red flag for me, that she can get extremely homesick. Frankly Benjio, I don't envy you, you've got your hands full with that girl. Maybe you should swallow your pride and let her dad set you up in business. It's either that or it's just a matter of time when this relationship goes South. Your Priority should be your child, it's not just you or her anymore. What future would the kid have without a mom or a dad? It won't be a happy childhood. Stop being so rigid. You lost this battle, get over it and go back to Brazil.
You will soon have to make a decision. Obviously she is not happy in Houston, for her it doesn't compare and the recent Hurricane didn't help any. They don't exist in her latitudes.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2017, 02:23:32 AM by vikingo »
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #18 on: November 09, 2017, 08:30:16 AM »

What exactly motivates you to continue in.... what is essentially a dead end relationship.


Personally I would rather play the field
Tengo "esperanzas" for reasons I dont want to elaborate....


Of course I keep my options open...


I think a lot of guys are naive, considering the history and brevity  of marriages and relations these days and how quickly someof these girls fall in and out of "love"  if they really believe that they rank higher than the girls mothers,fathers(if they are around) or biological children.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2017, 08:35:10 AM by Elexpatriado »

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #19 on: November 09, 2017, 08:34:05 AM »
The fact that she is willing to leave her tiny baby behind for a month would be a red flag for me, that she can get extremely homesick. Frankly Benjio, I don't envy you, you've got your hands full with that girl. Maybe you should swallow your pride and let her dad set you up in business. It's either that or it's just a matter of time when this relationship goes South. Your Priority should be your child, it's not just you or her anymore. What future would the kid have without a mom or a dad? It won't be a happy childhood. Stop being so rigid. You lost this battle, get over it and go back to Brazil.
You will soon have to make a decision. Obviously she is not happy in Houston, for her it doesn't compare and the recent Hurricane didn't help any. They don't exist in her latitudes.


I agree. Think you should seek counseling , two of you and see if you can come to an agreement.


Worst case you may have to give in and move to Brazil and work on line form there. You obviously have the skills to do that.


You have to think of your child first. I firmly believe that the best place to raise a child is in a stable relationship., with the two parents together. Try and work out your differences like two adults.

Offline Calipro

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #20 on: November 09, 2017, 11:23:52 AM »
Tengo "esperanzas" for reasons I dont want to elaborate....


Of course I keep my options open...


I think a lot of guys are naive, considering the history and brevity  of marriages and relations these days and how quickly someof these girls fall in and out of "love"  if they really believe that they rank higher than the girls mothers,fathers(if they are around) or biological children.


 :o

Does anyone rank their spouse higher than their mother or children.....I know I don't.


No woman will ever love you more than your own mother or children.



« Last Edit: November 09, 2017, 11:30:19 AM by Calipro »

Offline benjio

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #21 on: November 09, 2017, 12:52:51 PM »
The fact that she is willing to leave her tiny baby behind for a month would be a red flag for me, that she can get extremely homesick. Frankly Benjio, I don't envy you, you've got your hands full with that girl. Maybe you should swallow your pride and let her dad set you up in business. It's either that or it's just a matter of time when this relationship goes South. Your Priority should be your child, it's not just you or her anymore. What future would the kid have without a mom or a dad? It won't be a happy childhood. Stop being so rigid. You lost this battle, get over it and go back to Brazil.
You will soon have to make a decision. Obviously she is not happy in Houston, for her it doesn't compare and the recent Hurricane didn't help any. They don't exist in her latitudes.


All good points and I appreciate your candor. I'm relatively sure I'm moving back down there in the near future but it's going to be on my terms. I'm remodeling my house to rent it out while I'm gone so that will be additional income and currently searching for a position that will allow me to work remotely fulltime. I was trying to start a business there but the red tape a gringo has to cut through just to get a business going in Brazil would boggle your mind. Not to mention the ridiculous taxes foreign entrepreneurs have to pay. The guy that was going to be my partner also dropped out and ended up moving back to the states. Brazil makes mincemeat out of most Americans and Europeans with big dreams of starting businesses and living in paradise the rest of their lives. Most of them end up in debt, having lost a significant portion if not all of their retirement, headed back home to join the job force to sit in a cubicle again. I've heard that story a million times there and I don't plan on being a casualty.


My girlfriend's father is a real estate guy. He bought a lot of properties back during the third Cruzeiro era and somehow made the crash of that currency work for him. I won't even pretend to understand his Portuguese when he tries to explain Brazilian Finance to me.  He's a sharp guy though...made a killing during the World Cup and the Olympics. Spoils the $hit out of my son in a good way and I appreciate that. He likes me but he lectures me...like, "You really need to find a way to make a lot more money" kind of stuff. Again...it's that class thing and it kind of makes me feel like he's looking down on me even though my girlfriend adamantly denies that. When I lived in Rio one could have made the assumption I was rich because of where I my apartment was, how I dressed and the company I kept. Truth is Big Oil was footing the bill for most of it and now I'm back to reality. I make damn good money...but I'm no where near a millionaire, and I think that's his expectation. The thing is I'm not even 40 yet. If you haven't cooked up some hotshot app or invented something very useful and unique building wealth takes time.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2017, 02:38:58 PM by benjio »

Offline vikingo

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #22 on: November 10, 2017, 05:06:45 AM »
You are struggling with a culture clash when in Brazil and it involves a certain amount of arrogance; looking down on the class below them. It's  foreign to us but over there, even here in Colombia it's deeply ingrained.
Her dad sounds a bit impatient but he seems to be good people. He is willing to help you get ahead and I would work with him if I were you, grin and bare it, not confronting him with your demands meaning 'on my terms'. Let him guide you and don't fight him. You not only will get ahead ahead in life much faster, perfect your Portuguese, but have your loved ones around you at all times, no uncertainties with your gf and the kid grows up bilingual.
It looks to me like an ideal situation, not only for the three of you but her parents will be very appreciative to be able to see their grandchild grow up and who knows, maybe there is a granddaughter in the future  as well.
Something else just came to mind, she is young and untamed, her parents will have a lot more power over her than you ever will to keep her out of trouble, use that to your advantage.
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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #22 on: November 10, 2017, 05:06:45 AM »

Offline mudd

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #23 on: November 10, 2017, 05:48:47 AM »
Quote
My girlfriend's father is a real estate guy. He bought a lot of properties back during the third Cruzeiro era and somehow made the crash of that currency work for him. I won't even pretend to understand his Portuguese when he tries to explain Brazilian Finance to me.  He's a sharp guy though...made a killing during the World Cup and the Olympics. Spoils the $hit out of my son in a good way and I appreciate that. He likes me but he lectures me...like, "You really need to find a way to make a lot more money" kind of stuff. Again...it's that class thing and it kind of makes me feel like he's looking down on me even though my girlfriend adamantly denies that. When I lived in Rio one could have made the assumption I was rich because of where I my apartment was, how I dressed and the company I kept. Truth is Big Oil was footing the bill for most of it and now I'm back to reality. I make damn good money...but I'm no where near a millionaire, and I think that's his expectation. The thing is I'm not even 40 yet. If you haven't cooked up some hotshot app or invented something very useful and unique building wealth takes time.


sounds like no man will ever be good for his daughter unless hes bill gates or some other multi millionaire. i would think the man would be happy that his daughter met a descent honest guy who isnt a skirt chaser, who maybe isnt a millionaire but isnt a slouch either. :o [size=78%] [/size]

Offline benjio

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Re: THE QUESTION OF CLASS
« Reply #24 on: November 10, 2017, 10:07:25 AM »
You are struggling with a culture clash when in Brazil and it involves a certain amount of arrogance; looking down on the class below them. It's  foreign to us but over there, even here in Colombia it's deeply ingrained.



You are exactly right and it's disgusting. But it's the one thing I can't change about her. That's just the way she is.

 

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