Planet-Love.com
Latin International Dating Forums => Latin -> General discussion => Topic started by: Zon on March 30, 2008, 10:18:46 AM
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As in the case with this board's sister site, RussianWomenDiscussion.com, I see a preponderance of one country represented in most of the posting. In the first case, Ukraine is referred to as the "wife basket" of the world. There is almost now discussion of Czech Republic; Hungary; Romania; or Moldovia.
Similarly, here there are many references to Columbia. There is little reference to Argentina, Chile, Brazil.
I am JUST becoming familiar, so I ask the question - WHY?
(Thank you in advance for your patience ... I will likely ask many stupid questions in the begining)
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Take a trip to Colombia, and then a trip to other latin american countries, then you will see why Colombia is the favorite. The women, IMO, are some of the best the world has to offer as for beauty.
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Colombia also has a lot of agencies, so someone less than familiar with the language and travel can have arrangements made, interviews and interpreters arranged, etc. In most of the other countries, you're on your own.
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why Colombians?
....good family values....mui romantico...mui elegante....and you have your choice of many different skin tones depending on what area of the country you are in...European features or Spanish features or Indian features, take your pick....tall, short...in-between...many women own their own businesses, are intelligent, self motivated or you can find the nurturing, stay at home type...whichever you prefer.
Last time I was in Bogota I did not see ONE overweight woman while there for FIVE days. Heck, in Miami International airport you'll see five heifers in 5 seconds.....and 3 women dressed like prostitutes in 30 seconds...and THOSE are the college girls.
DayTrader
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So ... basically ... its the best. Shut up and enjoy. (I get it)
First off, I am not a puss. I don't mind an adventure. I don't mind risk and consequences - scars heal.
BUT!
I recently met with my web developer in Florida who had been missing for 3 months. I actually scanned the obituaries in his county, because I called him 50 times with no answer. We are freinds, so I thought something was very very wrong.
I called every three days and I was surprised his cell phone was stil receiving messages.
He is a Columbian born American. His mother was from Columbia, and went back to live about a year ago ... because the money went farther (from what I understand). To make a long and terrifying story very short. She was kidnapped. And he spend two and a half months negotiating her release.
So, I put an asterisks on the idea of traveling to Columbia.
Any input?
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I hire a driver/interpreter when in Cali....avoid outside ATM's...
Colombians are the ones getting kidnapped by FARC...unless you are doing something stupid, like flashing dinero and talking about your rich uncle, you should be fine...just get advice from the agency people, stick to the tour schedule...and travel in pairs or double date. I really like having my own private driver for the week, it's the best. The agency will take care of you from the airport to the city if you don' t have a driver....
Taking a taxi from the taxi stand can be risky in Cali ...robberies have been known to happen..and the same thing in Medellin, since the city is far from the airport. Bogota is MUCH safer than when I was last there...in the city of Cali and Bogota I always felt safe during the day. Things have gotten a little wild in Cali in the past year, but just use your head and remember you are in a big city. If you carry cash, use a moneybelt, otherwise use plastic and have no more than $150 US in Colombian pesos on you at any time. Wachovia Bank and Paypal only charge 1% over the exchange rate when charging overseas...that's a great deal. If you use a taxi, have lots of small bills -- the driver will say they don't have change for your big Colombian note. Avoid public atm's...use atms in the Mall. Have the agency or a latina on a date help you with that (its' fun!) -- you'll see how she is at teaching you something you may not know.
Four defining things about Colombians;
> does she have kid(s)?
> does she know some english?
> does she own a car?
> does she have a US tourist visa?
In Bogota you will find MANY women that have 3 of th 4 at least. Owning a car means she is middle class...having a visa means she can take care of her needs and she or her family owns a home or has assets. It's just a screening item; nothing wrong with meeting a lady that lacks finances, she is capable of making you just as happy.
Bring nice clothes when going out in Bogota, the women can dress to the max and your competition (latin guys) always dress well. Otherwise, you're in nice blue jeans and a long sleeve shirt at night because it gets cool in the mountains.
If you meet a bunch of nice Costa Ricans on the web, (there isn't much an agency presence down there) just hop a plane and go down....it's very americanized...heck the radio stations play American music 90% of the time! Lots of Americans in the San Jose area and lots of websites and Forums to guide you if you want to stay there a while.
Go google news and type in "Uribe" or "FARC" and you will see all the positive things happening in Colombia lately. Crime, kidnapping is WAY WAY DOWN! Medellin is much better than in the 90's...no comparison.
DayTrader
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Here's something I wrote about picking a country on the Asian board. It applies to Latin America also: http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=2968.msg29019#msg29019
There have been many, many threads about safety in Colombia. If you search the words: safety Colombia (with an O not a U) you'll find all sorts of opinions, suggestions, and discussion.
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I am mentally progressive fast.
So Columbia equals Ukraine ---
just much closer; easier immigration; and more bridgeable culture / language.
OK.
What about agencies? I know there are good girls in bad agencies and bad girls in good agencies. In my ideal world ....
I would prefer to use an intermediary as little as necessary. I know that assumes more risks in many different ways. I presume there are reliable consultants that I could use a little or alot depending on my needs. The only reason I would like work with an agency is for the compilation of ladies that they have worked to assemble.
An initial trip should be a vacation and no rush to fall in love; at least for me.
I would prefer to meet many women from a variety of mechanisms just to establish re pore. Then, some letter back and forth would go a good way to establish compatibility. And Columbia is very close. Much Closer than Russia.
By the way, the costs for a trip like I described above is +/-3,000 - 4,000. I presume costs are much less for Columbia, No es Verdad?
Thank you for your continued guidance ....
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I am mentally progressive fast.
So Columbia equals Ukraine ---
just much closer; easier immigration; and more bridgeable culture / language.
OK.
What about agencies? I know there are good girls in bad agencies and bad girls in good agencies. In my ideal world ....
I would prefer to use an intermediary as little as necessary. I know that assumes more risks in many different ways. I presume there are reliable consultants that I could use a little or alot depending on my needs. The only reason I would like work with an agency is for the compilation of ladies that they have worked to assemble.
An initial trip should be a vacation and no rush to fall in love; at least for me.
I would prefer to meet many women from a variety of mechanisms just to establish re pore. Then, some letter back and forth would go a good way to establish compatibility. And Columbia is very close. Much Closer than Russia.
By the way, the costs for a trip like I described above is +/-3,000 - 4,000. I presume costs are much less for Columbia, No es Verdad?
Thank you for your continued guidance ....
do a search of "LLM" or "latin lifemates" on this Forum, you will retrieve a ton of information that may prove helpful.
check out this website...
http://latinlifemates.com/tours/schedule.asp
If I had to do it all over again, this would be my plan...
give them a call about their 'tours'..(do a search for latinlifemates on this Forum for more info)....with the rotten exchange rate lately, maybe you will be out $1500 to $2000 for a trip max. There is another agency next door to LLM also. Get your feet wet in Bogota, make it a vacation like you said...then work latinamericancupid or colombiancupid along with the tour contacts. The agencies will be pitching you a Executive Membership or something like that...I would just work the tour and work the websites hard for a few months .....on your second trip down work your leads from the agency and the websites....since you have some decent espanol skills you should be feeling comfortable on the 2nd trip. The websites might motivate you to Cali or Medellin if you choose to visit.
Avianca is the main airline to Colombia...if you fly into Bogota - meet some women there,then hop over to Cali or Medellin before leaving Bogota, Avianca can connect you pretty inexpensively with direct flights to all major cities in Colombia. Then, clean up your contacts when you return to Bogota (after Medellin, for example) you fly home from Bogota. The second trip might be 2 or 3 weeks. The third trip (if it occurs) would be pairing your list down to the top 2 or 3 that you are crazy about.
We will all sit back and enjoy reading your trip reports! jajaja!!!
DayTrader
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Rivardco,
I don't know if you caught it earlier but someone corrected your spelling of Colombia.It is spelled with an "o" not "u".Not a big deal, just letting you know.I myself have been all over Colombia and have been a member of several agencies.My spanish is pretty good, enough to carry on a conversation as long as the other person doesn't talk too fast. I really didn't have to use an agency but I liked the fact that they have alot of women that are there looking for someone also.Bogota was my choice because there just seemed to be more of the type of women I liked (educated and classy).I used the agency next door to LLM.Its called Latin American Introductions.Both are good agencies IMO.
Some guys here have found good women in Peru and Ecuador and didn't use an agency.You might want to "stay tuned" and here from them(Kiltboy and SingleFather, where are you?).These guys will have some good advice for you and some alternative ways to meet women.
Not everyone here likes agencies and I can understand their reasons.Its not for everyone but it works for some.
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Rivardco.
Everyone's advice has been solid. I know quite a bit abut the two agencies In Bogota that have been mentioned, Latin life Mates, and Latin American Introductions, and I have s a pretty good understnaidng of the advantages and disadvantages of meeting Colombian women through agencies in the other cities in Colombia.
if you want to call me, i'm at 520-425-5338
Dennis
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I used to chat with women online from Romania before the IMBRA was passed. I was not impressed. They were mental, getting angry over little comments cause they took them the wrong way and wouldnt get over it. They seem like they were loose women who had had relationships with many countless men already. I could tell from our extended conversations that these women didnt actually only have sex with one guy like they'd told me, especially when they outright tell me how jaded they already were with relationships by saying "NEXT" when they were telling me about "when boys make them upset." I dont need some jaded loose woman in my life. And a couple of them didnt take me seriously until they realized they could get a ticket to the USA.
As for Chile and Argentina, I'd love to see more posted on those countries personally. I doubt many of the women from those two countries would want to come up North. I have read that the people there take pride in living in their native countries. Plus they are racially European, most likely more independent type women and probably raised in a slightly more matriarchal environment compared to the other types. Just my opinion on that though. I'd also think they'd more readily turn into AWs.
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Love your avatar, Henry.
If that was the translator of your last trip AND you are NOT retaining her services any longer ....
would you give me the office number?
:)
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Ok Researcher I will jump in.. I would recommend you take Dennis up on his offer and call him. He is a first class guy and just came back from Bogotá recently.. I agree totally with daytrader advice.. I used latinamericancupid.com and that is how I met my Novia from Peru.. I highly recommend Peru and of course the city of Chiclayo where my Novia is from.. I just came back from Peru 2 weeks ago when I got engaged.. The women of Peru are very beautiful also and I loved the city of Chiclayo.. It had a population of about 600,000 and I felt very safe there.
IF you have any questions about Peru , PM me and I will give you my phone number.
Kiltboy had great luck in Ecuador and can give you information on the women of that
Country..
I would read daytrader post again.. You have to know what you want before you find it
and set some parameters on what type a woman you want..
singlefather
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I have already learned very much today ... how to spell Colombia for starters:)
OK, so I am pretty far along here. I have experience with non AW, and I have a second residence in the Dominican Republic. Thanks to you cats, Colombia is looking very interesting (Dennis deserves a special thanks).
In a perfect world, I would love to find a Colombian guide, or some ex pats so I could safely take a walk around
I am not resistant to agencies n e c e s s a r i l y ... I just think a natural - but safe - trip around is a good first step. So, any guides? Any cool ex pats they know there way around (maybe ex CIA if I remember from the movies :)
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About the original question,
1. On average, Colombian women are more desperate than women from say, Mexico, Argentina or Chile. Historically, Colombia has been a poor and violent place. The situation has improved somewhat in recent years. In any event, if you're not dating rich girls, you may earn more than 20X what your prospective Colombian bride's other suitors make. The contrast wouldn't be so extreme in Argentina or Chile, especially if you're talking in terms of the quality of life in those countries vs. the U.S.
2. Colombian women on average are more attractive than women from certain other poor Latin countries (e.g., Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, and most of Central America).
3. The agencies, already mentioned by previous posters, makes Colombia more point and clic. If you're a gringo who's not particularly good around women and if you don't speak reasonable Spanish, then what are you going to do? Go to Quito and start trying to pick up women in malls?
4. Americans aren't hated in Colombia as much as we are in many other Latin countries. In the past we were genuinely admired, and still are by many. Contrast to say Mexico or Argentina where a certain small part of the population is going to hate your guts because you're a gringo.
By the way, for anyone who's been around here a long time, JunFan is back on the market, apparently his last marriage didn't work out.
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By the way, for anyone who's been around here a long time, JunFan is back on the market, apparently his last marriage didn't work out.
Ouch, 0 for 2... :o
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I hope JunFAN starts posting again here soon and gets back on the horse....
singlefather
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Ouch, 0 for 2... :o
Well, at least #2 lasted longer than #1.
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In a perfect world, I would love to find a Colombian guide, or some ex pats so I could safely take a walk around
I am not resistant to agencies n e c e s s a r i l y ... I just think a natural - but safe - trip around is a good first step. So, any guides? Any cool ex pats they know there way around (maybe ex CIA if I remember from the movies :)
Rivardco,
I know someone that I trust with my life in Barranquilla. If you need a guide/buddie in Barranquilla then give me a pm. He's not free, but I can vouch that you can trust him 100% with anything.
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THis site is great...its' like always going to "dad" fo answers...........
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About the original question,
1. On average, Colombian women are more desperate than women from say, Mexico, Argentina or Chile. Historically, Colombia has been a poor and violent place. The situation has improved somewhat in recent years. In any event, if you're not dating rich girls, you may earn more than 20X what your prospective Colombian bride's other suitors make. The contrast wouldn't be so extreme in Argentina or Chile, especially if you're talking in terms of the quality of life in those countries vs. the U.S.
2. Colombian women on average are more attractive than women from certain other poor Latin countries (e.g., Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, and most of Central America).
3. The agencies, already mentioned by previous posters, makes Colombia more point and clic. If you're a gringo who's not particularly good around women and if you don't speak reasonable Spanish, then what are you going to do? Go to Quito and start trying to pick up women in malls?
4. Americans aren't hated in Colombia as much as we are in many other Latin countries. In the past we were genuinely admired, and still are by many. Contrast to say Mexico or Argentina where a certain small part of the population is going to hate your guts because you're a gringo.
By the way, for anyone who's been around here a long time, JunFan is back on the market, apparently his last marriage didn't work out.
Here is the average income for Chile:
"GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$14,400 (2007 est.)" https://www. cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ci.html#Econ
Argentina:
"GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$13,000 (2007 est.)" https://www. cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ar.html#Econ
Colombia: "GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$7,200 (2007 est.)" https://www. cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/co.html#Econ
Ecuador; "GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$7,100 (2007 est.)"
Peru: "GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$7,600 (2007 est.) "
And just for comparison sake,
Poland: "GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$16,200 (2007 est.)"
Czech Rep: "GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$24,400 (2007 est.)"
Hungaria: "GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$19,500 (2007 est.)"
Slovakia (Czech's former half): "GDP - per capita (PPP):
Definition Field Listing Rank Order
$19,800 (2007 est.)"
As you can see, the average income for Chile-Argentina approaches that for the part of eastern Europe bordering Germany and Italy.
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Well, at least #2 lasted longer than #1.
Actually I think they were both around 18 months...18 not a lucky number for ole JunFan.
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Excellent Post:
"About the original question,
1. On average, Colombian women are more desperate than women from say, Mexico, Argentina or Chile. Historically, Colombia has been a poor and violent place. The situation has improved somewhat in recent years. In any event, if you're not dating rich girls, you may earn more than 20X what your prospective Colombian bride's other suitors make. The contrast wouldn't be so extreme in Argentina or Chile, especially if you're talking in terms of the quality of life in those countries vs. the U.S.
2. Colombian women on average are more attractive than women from certain other poor Latin countries (e.g., Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, and most of Central America).
3. The agencies, already mentioned by previous posters, makes Colombia more point and clic. If you're a gringo who's not particularly good around women and if you don't speak reasonable Spanish, then what are you going to do? Go to Quito and start trying to pick up women in malls?
4. Americans aren't hated in Colombia as much as we are in many other Latin countries. In the past we were genuinely admired, and still are by many. Contrast to say Mexico or Argentina where a certain small part of the population is going to hate your guts because you're a gringo."
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The larger agencies that are reputable are easily identified. Any more referrences of independent guides?
Also, expat from USA and Europe have trampled the fields a little bit in Eastern Europe: Estonia; Latvia; etc... Many see and American Man an instantly think Sex Tourist (a dangerous word that often causes thread-drift.) In this context, I am seeking others to share their perceptions on the NEGATIVE stereo types that may exist in the minds of Colombians - those using agencies and those not using agencies.
Finally, Spanish and English is not a great stretch ... try looking at Russian?!?! It may as well be Martian. If the education in Bogota is high (I understand it is). And the Internet common (I understand it is). Then Online dating sites Amigos; Columbian Cupid; must be valid. True?
And, so far ( I have not actually researched the site as a good newby should), I see little reference of SCAMS that is certainly the case on the sister board, RussianWomenDiscussion.
Thanks Again
(Nice to see some of the personalities come out. Again just by comparison ... you guys are awfully kind compared to the other board:)
Are there any other information boards or sites centering on Colombia that I should know about?
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Excellent Post:
"About the original question,
1. On average, Colombian women are more desperate than women from say, Mexico, Argentina or Chile. Historically, Colombia has been a poor and violent place. The situation has improved somewhat in recent years. In any event, if you're not dating rich girls, you may earn more than 20X what your prospective Colombian bride's other suitors make. The contrast wouldn't be so extreme in Argentina or Chile, especially if you're talking in terms of the quality of life in those countries vs. the U.S.
2. Colombian women on average are more attractive than women from certain other poor Latin countries (e.g., Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, and most of Central America).
3. The agencies, already mentioned by previous posters, makes Colombia more point and clic. If you're a gringo who's not particularly good around women and if you don't speak reasonable Spanish, then what are you going to do? Go to Quito and start trying to pick up women in malls?
4. Americans aren't hated in Colombia as much as we are in many other Latin countries. In the past we were genuinely admired, and still are by many. Contrast to say Mexico or Argentina where a certain small part of the population is going to hate your guts because you're a gringo."
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The larger agencies that are reputable are easily identified. Any more referrences of independent guides?
Also, expat from USA and Europe have trampled the fields a little bit in Eastern Europe: Estonia; Latvia; etc... Many see and American Man an instantly think Sex Tourist (a dangerous word that often causes thread-drift.) In this context, I am seeking others to share their perceptions on the NEGATIVE stereo types that may exist in the minds of Colombians - those using agencies and those not using agencies.
Finally, Spanish and English is not a great stretch ... try looking at Russian?!?! It may as well be Martian. If the education in Bogota is high (I understand it is). And the Internet common (I understand it is). Then Online dating sites Amigos; Columbian Cupid; must be valid. True?
And, so far ( I have not actually researched the site as a good newby should), I see little reference of SCAMS that is certainly the case on the sister board, RussianWomenDiscussion.
Thanks Again
(Nice to see some of the personalities come out. Again just by comparison ... you guys are awfully kind compared to the other board:)
Are there any other information boards or sites centering on Colombia that I should know about?
on balance, if I had to do it over again, I would stick with an agency that was owned and run by an American...that would be LLM and I think Jamie's agency in BAQ. Talk to Sean (moderator) to hear about Jamie's site, www.latin-wife.com
You can meet women in Bogota that are pretty affluent in comparison to the statistics you are looking at...real estate prices are comparable to America (before the crappy exchange rate). Bogota has more 4 star restaurants than LA or NY, IMO..that I liked at the time....and they're not that expensive.
Good luck in your research bro!
DayTrader
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Well, rivardco, Colombia may be the happy hunting grounds for many of the guys on this board, but I'd wager a bet that there are far more Mexican/American marriages than Colombian/American - just because of the sheer numbers and proximity.
I've never felt hated anywhere in Latin America - a bit of discomfort by some maybe, but that usually evaporated instantly when I started speaking Spanish. Latin Americans are mostly happy go lucky, friendly and willing to express their emotions. Of course, like anywhere, there are sociopaths and neer-do-wells, but in general, they're about as far from being uptight as you can get.
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Gentlemen,
This topic has been cleaned up and your spat has been moved to the Flame Room. DO NOT pollute this thread (or any thread for that matter) with more of this nonsense.
Feel free to continue your fight in the Flame Room.
Thank you
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I took advice and joined Colombian Cupid (notice he spelling)
Why does a disproportionate amount of my "Matches" contain no photo?
If a woman is attractive, she would use that to gain interest .... No es verdad?
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I took advice and joined Colombian Cupid (notice he spelling)
Why does a disproportionate amount of my "Matches" contain no photo?
If a woman is attractive, she would use that to gain interest .... No es verdad?
I assume Colombiancupid is set up the same as latinamericancupid....
I search for "photos" profile only with my search critieria and sort them by most recent log in...this will filter out women's profiles that are inactive...you should be buried in prospects within a few months....
I sort out my prospects by
Does she have access to a computer daily?
Does she have high speed internet access? (yahoo, skype, msn users for voice, webcam)
does she have a cell phone that you can call her on when she is not by the computer?
if she has all this but no webcam, then she should pay for an internet cafe session with webcam after the two of you get to know each other.
If you have several webcam sessions with them it's almost as good as one or two dates, without the alcohol and without having to leave a tip. Plus, the more frequent the conversations, you can test her if she will ask her for money or if she has "bad days" .....
They had to ace all this criteria before I would put her on the list to visit after buying a plane ticket. I'm sure you'll have your own criteria as well, but these have worked for me.
DayTrader
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Excellente DT!
And DAMN Boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I understand why so much Colombia NOW ...
I confess that I am not as mature and enlightened as others. I am a man that thinks with my eyes first, then goes into inner conflict long enough to ... you know. Some of these women are crazy beautiful. No doubt.
With such motivation I could easily accelerate my Spanish studies.
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I've never felt hated anywhere in Latin America - a bit of discomfort by some maybe, but that usually evaporated instantly when I started speaking Spanish. Latin Americans are mostly happy go lucky, friendly and willing to express their emotions. Of course, like anywhere, there are sociopaths and neer-do-wells, but in general, they're about as far from being uptight as you can get.
Jeff, Try this. When you're in a taxi or just talking to people pretend like you're from another country (besides the U.S.) and ask them about what they think about estadounidenses. Don't appear like you're either pro or anti American. What you'll hear will be enlightening. I've done this because of a Mexican girlfriend that got a peverse kick out of hearing people slam my paisanos.
I think most Colombians do genuinely like Americans, and I've only had problems once, and that was with a drunk sociopath. In Mexico and Argentina I have encountered some hostility, but not much. There are Mexicans who just don't like people from the U.S. And there are Argentines that don't like people from anywhere but Argentina. I think you're right though, most latin Americans are friendly.
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Excellente DT!
And DAMN Boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I understand why so much Colombia NOW ...
I confess that I am not as mature and enlightened as others. I am a man that thinks with my eyes first, then goes into inner conflict long enough to ... you know. Some of these women are crazy beautiful. No doubt.
With such motivation I could easily accelerate my Spanish studies.
Oh God..this brings back memories in Cali !! I am an Old Fart looking for someone in their mid to late 30's...One of the other guys met a 25 yr old lady who had her own "fashion" business...I think she sold handbags and accessories at her own boutique...and she wanted kids eventually...she came with her Mom (I liked that) to meet her guy at the agency for the first time.
I was totally smitten but two decades past...If I was in my mid 30's or late 30's I would have jumped at the chance to get to know her and her familia better. She seemed mature and knew what she wanted yet was humble and willing to learn. I felt I could leave her with the checkbook for the month and all the bills would be paid on time and she would find a way to save some money for a rainy day.
I don't know what your age range is or if you are interested in starting a family..but the prospects are almost endless if you have time, an open mind, some spanish and are a gentleman.
DayTrader
P.S. Looks like the Dow is really trying to make a higher bottom...it will be interesting if today's low can hold through the week.
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Rivardco:
it was good to talk with you yesterday. You're on the learning curve.
if you decide to go to a city in Colombia without an agency, for say a week, IMHO, you will need about 10-15 decent prospects from the web sites (Colombian Cupid, Amigos, etc). But, if possible make them come to you, to your hotel lobby, don't meet them in a mall or in a restautrant, unless its a restaurant that is convenient for you. its better to throw a girl 10,000 COP (5 bucks) for a cab ride then to have a no show Why 10-15? Some won't pan out, some may flat out no show you, etc. They may be walk into the meeting place, wearing a pair of sunglasses, look at you and decide they don' t want to meet you.
Most guys on this board would agree that the younger they are, the higher odds that they won't show. before communicating with them, I would look at age and occupation as an indication if they will keep their appointments, for a first cita off a dating web site. i would prefer a 38 year old lawyer over a 24 year fashion design student, actress, model, university student any day of the week."
Everyone has their own ways of sorting them out, Daytrader's process with web cams, etc. makes sense. This is a game that is huge fun, trying to find great women without spending boatloads of money.
If you decide to use an agency, someone suggested an agency owned by an American. I would amend that slightly. I think the best case scenario for a first time agency client is an agency where the American is at the agency every day--and is willing to be "hands on." Most American men need a sounding board, a counselor, someone who understands how American men think, who can listen to them and be honest with them about the women they are choosing for citas.
With very few exceptions (and they are on the fingers of one hand with a few fingers left over), Colombian agency owners and reps don't understand how American men think and your interests are not their interests. if you decide to use 'that American in daily residence" as a criteria then the list of agencies in Colombia gets shortened very quickly.
Keep posting and doing your research.
I'll be in Bogota for 3-6 weeks starting on May 12 If you're in Bogota, want to hook up, let me know.
Dennis
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I will share another reason why Colombia is so popular ...
I have been a member of Russianlovematch and ElanasModels in the past.
I could find very beautiful, very high quality girls on both sites for sure.
But the volume of response I received in the last 24 hour hours is 10 x what I received from either of the above mentioned sites?!?!? AND one of the more attractive ladies is located less hn 30 minutes from me (beginners luck)
I just think its right to contribute experience as much as take it.
Will keep you posted.
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I have encountered anti-American attitudes in Mexico but not in Colombia although I am sure it's there. I would say you are far more likely to encounter such feelings in Mexico.
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Hey Rivardco- did you ever end up going to Russia to meet one of those contacts? I seem to remember the RWD membership jumping you pretty hard for spending years in the preparation phase but never going through with an actual trip.
Is it safe to say that you will be traveling to South America in the near future?
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W3 - Nope. Never WENT to Russia. I was lucky to have a little piece of Russia sent to me:)
The reason I entered the discussion was because of a FSU girl I was already dating in the US. That was a hot and cold relationship for about a year and a half. I did date several other FSU ladies but all where already in the US. The guys at RWD did not want to hear any of this BLA BLA BLA
At RWD, like here I presume, people develop stereo-types. I found RWD days after a 13 year relationship. I understand I came off as an injured, indecisive, kind of fish. If I was; I ain't now. I have spent the first 80 days of this year out of the country in Central America and the Caribbean. I was traveling often to this area even when I was on RWD.
I could never get past the "travel half way around the world to find your wife in 7 days" proposition. I find Central and South American "bridgeable" Closer, less expensive, easier culture to understand and participate.
Additionally, I know first hand the Russian ladies (generally speaking) are incredibly objective oriented. I think I am a cool guy who can look through the BS to determine what a ladies inner motives are. I was surprised in these areas by my past relationship with FSU ladies. So, I accepted a "Caveat Emptor" label. That pealed away most of the gloss and allure of Russian Ladies for me. Besides, I see FSU ladies in my new line of work. Beautiful, but a handful.
I started a new business in the DR. Some Dominican ladies are as beautiful and beautiful gets ... very pleasing. BUT a little too simple / primitive to take seriously.
BTW - EVERYONE GETS SLAMMED ON RWD. I have been fortunate to make several good freinds in real life through the board, but even they don't get along from one post to the other. Perhaps the Russian tendancy to be stubborn and argue has worn off on them without even knowing.
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BTW - EVERYONE GETS SLAMMED ONE RWD. I have been fortunate to make several good freinds in real life through the board, but even they don't get along from one post to the other. Perhaps the Russian tendancy to be stubborn and argue has worn off on them without even knowing.
Sounds just like Planet Love... ;D
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(http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/angry005.gif)
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Some Follow-up ...
Does Colombian and Latin American Cupid web sites differ in content? They appear to be the same originating source.
A high adventuring friend of mind refused my recent idea to go to Colombia with me. "What are you crazy?" Read the State Department's page. (This guy traveled deep in Eastern Europe in the early 90s and Central America widely.) I just read the State Departement's Travel warning - does not exactly give an endorsement.
Are we sure we are not getting pussystruck?
Continuing to look for a solution ... what are the best options for air travel throughout South America? Are the quotes we receive from US IP addresses different from non US IP addresses - they seem high?
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Some Follow-up ...
Does Colombian and Latin American Cupid web sites differ in content? They appear to be the same originating source.
A high adventuring friend of mind refused my recent idea to go to Colombia with me. "What are you crazy?" Read the State Department's page. (This guy traveled deep in Eastern Europe in the early 90s and Central America widely.) I just read the State Departement's Travel warning - does not exactly give an endorsement.
Are we sure we are not getting pussystruck?
Continuing to look for a solution ... what are the best options for air travel throughout South America? Are the quotes we receive from US IP addresses different from non US IP addresses - they seem high?
..you can sign up for a free profile listing on latinamericancupid.com and do a search - you will probably see lots more listings from other countries, maybe Peru and Costa Rica will be more frequent than the colombian site.
If you're worried about security (which you should not be) then I would go on an agency tour for a week and learn the ropes. Once there, find a driver/translator for your next trip, scope out the hotels and which side of town you want to stay on. Using a regular driver that owns his own car avoids maybe 90% of the risk of robbery; staying at a good hotel and having a chaperone/group knocks it down another 8%....the typical robbery occurs with the taxi driver complicit in the crime. Kidnapping risk should be almost nonexistent if you just follow basic rules, and have your own driver. Bogota is MUCH SAFER than it was 8 years ago when I was last there...you can Google it!
Bogota has it's better areas and areas you stay out of (same with Cali) - your driver and/or agency guide will know all this stuff. Keep in mind, you will not get ANY encouragement from anyone in America to go to Colombia...if you are not prepared to make your own decision in this matter, then South America is not for you...maybe Costa Rica instead.
If you have talked to Dennis and feel this way, then I guess Dennis needs to go back to classes Closing Agency Suckers 102 through 104...I'm really disappointed in you Dennis! YEEE HAWWW !! (two in one day, and the Dow up 300+ points, one helluva day!).
Air Travel tips:
www.bookingbuddy.com
From the west coast, I used Continental via their Houston hub to get to SA; from the east coast, typically you route thru Miami and then Avianca. Use LAN for Peru, I believe. BookingBuddy will make it easy, all the search engines are in one place and you don't have to re-enter your search critieria. Once you find an airline you like, you can abandon bookingbuddy.com and just use the specific website for the airline (like Avianca). Check the Avianca website to look at their hubs in North America (see link below).
http://www.airlineroutemaps.com/Latin_America/Avianca.shtml
There are restrictions on purchase of airline tickets originating in the USA (I believe)...plus the currency conversion issue...you're stuck, you will have to buy the ticket either directly from the airline or from a American IP address/US airline portal...nice try through!
DayTrader
EDIT: American Airlines also has Bogota flight crews...you can fly to Bogota on American Airlines...that might be the easiest --- getting a separate flight to Miami then Miami to Bogota/Peru/Costa Rica is the fastest way to find your choices on www.bookingbuddy.com -- I fly Spriit airlines nonstop from FLL to Costa Rica...awesome...and almost everyone on the dang plane is American!! The only downside is you don't have the tall Avianca Stewardesses....they put to shame 90% of American flight attendants!.
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Over the next four months, I will likely spend 50% of my time in Punta Cana and Samana Dominican Republic. I could go to Bogota from Punta Cana, or Santa Domingo - or have a special girl come to me?
I wonder how the air quotes would differ? (I think I will check ... dahhhh)
Again, I'm not a puss. I travel all by myself where no WHITE gringo ever should go. Now I have gotten to be known, so even the bad guys know I am an amigo of an amigo.
I will not have this cover in Colombia for sure; and I am likely not to use an agency either (still deciding).
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Over the next four months, I will likely spend 50% of my time in Punta Cana and Samana Dominican Republic. I could go to Bogota from Punta Cana, or Santa Domingo - or have a special girl come to me?
I wonder how the air quotes would differ? (I think I will check ... dahhhh)
Again, I'm not a puss. I travel all by myself where no WHITE gringo ever should go. Now I have gotten to be known, so even the bad guys know I am an amigo of an amigo.
I will not have this cover in Colombia for sure; and I am likely not to use an agency either (still deciding).
Bogota is a real big town...I'd talk to Jim at LLM and fly down for a 2 or 3 days to get a overview, hook up with a driver..then work your website leads...I am sure he'd accommodate you at his hotel and make available some of his staff to guide you on an hourly basis.
Once you build a network of a couple guys and a few women and learn to navigate around town (I think primarily the North side of town if I remember...) ...your first trip might be all of 7 days and you'd get your feet wet for regular trips on your own.
That's how I would play it. Jim might hook you up with other guys he knows of that have a similar strategy as yours also.
DayTrader
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QUOTE FROM DAYTRADER
If you have talked to Dennis and feel this way, then I guess Dennis needs to go back to classes Closing Agency Suckers 102 through 104...I'm really disappointed in you Dennis! YEEE HAWWW !! (two in one day, and the Dow up 300+ points, one helluva day!).
Daytrader, I like the idea agencies, I think they serve a purpose fro some men. I have a very good friend who was affiliated with a Bogota agency for sevewral years, But I do not represent an agency, and if I ever contracted with an agency to represent them, I would change my designation to agency rep/owner. When I talked with rivardco yesterday, i did not p
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Post continued
push the agencies as the only way for a man to go to Colombia.
Having said all of that, I didn't appreciate the gratuitous slam.
Dennis
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QUOTE FROM DAYTRADER
If you have talked to Dennis and feel this way, then I guess Dennis needs to go back to classes Closing Agency Suckers 102 through 104...I'm really disappointed in you Dennis! YEEE HAWWW !! (two in one day, and the Dow up 300+ points, one helluva day!).
Daytrader, I like the idea agencies, I think they serve a purpose fro some men. I have a very good friend who was affiliated with a Bogota agency for sevewral years, But I do not represent an agency, and if I ever contracted with an agency to represent them, I would change my designation to agency rep/owner. When I talked with rivardco yesterday, i did not ppush the agencies as the only way for a man to go to Colombia.
Having said all of that, I didn't appreciate the gratuitous slam.
Dennis
*** not to hijack this thread but this DOES need to be dealt with (IMO) ***
so you deny every calling LLM website leads? If LLM gives you a sales lead from their website then you ipso facto are representing LLM, whether you are compensated or not and whether you think so or not.
The person at the other end of the phone call from you (from a LLM website lead) can logically infer you are calling with the authorization of the agency. When you called me when I was between relationships you did NOT issue any type of disclaimer, also something that you should clarify on your outbound phone calls and (I think) on this Forum somewhere.
What I have stated in the previous two paragraphs is indisputable, since I have first hand knowledge of the entire series of events. If you called me WITHOUT authorization from LLM, then you are in trouble with LLM; if not, then you called WITH authorization from LLM. Therefore, you are PR person on behalf of LLM (nothing is wrong with that!) whether you are compensated or not is irrelevant. LLM should have a disclaimer on their confirming email after a LLM sales lead hits their server to deal with this issue (IMO).
If you want to debate this further, I would recommend to please PM me...when it is resolved between us we can post a joint message explaining the outcome, so we don't overpopulate the flame room or corrupt this thread.
DayTrader
// confronting hypocrisy, tone-deafness and assorted maladies on this Planet-Of-Love
now..back to our normally scheduled programming....(sound of NBC Network Peacock tones)
DayTrader
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Yes, please take it to PM or just call each other to take care of this. Thread pollution has become a real problem with good information being sidetracked by off topic drifts and fighting.
No worries about the Flame Room though, plenty of room in there for all occasions.
Thanks much.
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I appreciate your intervention catz.
I'm going to put this out in the open. Stuart picked a fight and I want to respond.
I don't deny anything. I made calls for LLM for approximately a month as a satisifed and enthusiastic customer, from about Febraury 7 to March 5. As I recall, I didn't give you "a sales pitch". because I knew you were Stuart or daytrader.
LLM was going through a transition and their regular salesperson was phasing out. For a bief period of time, I represented LLM (in addition to my regular job) and I made calls to their web site leads. I didn't push it on this board or publicize it.
When I spoke with rivardco last night, agencies was only one part of our conversation, I singled out Jamies' agency in baranquilla and I never made any calls for Jamie's agency. But I highlighted it as an agency that (everyone agreed) gave spectacular service and also that my best friend was an enthusiastic married ex-client.
What irked me was the phrase "agency suckers." That was an insult to men who are agency clients.
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From here on out: If this spat continues (don't care what you call it) the posts will be deleted. I won't waste any more time picking through topics to split them out. Take it off line, get over it, or go to the Flame Room. Does not matter which one just make sure it is one of those choices.
Thanks.
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You know I have never used an agency, but I would.
Something I have learned and I will offer it here. This interest / adventure creates opinions in men that become too strong (for self affirmation I think). At the end of the day, it is wise to believe there is more than one way. It is wise to loosen up and not get too pissed if you waste a little money or a little time.
There is more we share in common, than we differ
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You know I have never used an agency, but I would.
Something I have learned and I will offer it here. This interest / adventure creates opinions in men that become too strong (for self affirmation I think). At the end of the day, it is wise to believe there is more than one way. It is wise to loosen up and not get too pissed if you waste a little money or a little time.
There is more we share in common, than we differ
I agree...although I don't think one would "waste money" using various methods...I would consider it an investment either in self-improvement, self-discovery and/or vacation...maybe all 3.
You know I have never used an agency, but I would.
Something I have learned and I will offer it here. This interest / adventure creates opinions in men that become too strong (for self affirmation I think).
There is more we share in common, than we differ
Bears repeating...There are some that enjoy being on their "high horse", imo...
DayTrader
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I dare write this, but I am trying to get to the naked truth as fast as possible ...
Columbian Cupid is a very responsive member base. If you do a serch for those who describe themselves as "very attractive" most of the profiles contain no photo. hmmmm.
Dominican Cupid does not have a large enough data base to be meaningful.
Amigos is less responsive that Columbian Cupid, but good. Starting to take too much work and time.
In all cases, the amount of communication is LESS that I received with an similar language barrier with FSU women - several sentences compared with several paragraphs.
There are many very sexy, European looking ladies in Columbia. I am thankful. But the proportion of HOT girls is 10% 20%. I know I know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The girls I have seen from Ghana have all been remarkably attractive.
And now I hear "point and click" description of agencies ringing in my ears.
It would make life much easier.
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rivardco ,
I would try latinamericancupid.com.. I had great luck with them and still have a lot of good amigas I met there.. I believe DayTrader had great luck there also.. Now it was not just luck but a lot of fun finding what I was looking for.. Like DT has said before you have to now what you are looking for in a woman.. Canadianguy is in Brazil meeting the girl he met on latincupid..
I really liked the latinamerciancupid chat room also..
I wish you the best in your search..
singlefather
..
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I dare write this, but I am trying to get to the naked truth as fast as possible ...
Columbian Cupid is a very responsive member base. If you do a serch for those who describe themselves as "very attractive" most of the profiles contain no photo. hmmmm.
...remember what I said..the good lookers don't post photos to avoid their in box from being flooded...they'll IM you if you are online during the evening hours...You might try my first suggestion, www.latinamericancupid.com they had many moreprofiles of good looking women than any other website I had seen...far more than amigos --- you will also have your choice of Peru and Costa Rica, which are well represented there. What age group are you going for rivardco ?
Another website (more expensive & I am not sure it would be a good deal) is www.sotb.com
DayTrader
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Thank you for the suggestions sincerely. I will certainly take it.
What age group and league -
My criteria:
Age - 22 - 34
Weight - 95 - 125
looks - very attractive
some college
some English
no children
light drink
light smoke
From there I see if a unique and special connection can be created.
This is the same age group and league I date in the US and DR (I have dated several younger girls in the DR, but you would have forgave me if you saw them) I am open to marriage, not desperate. I also admit that it would have to be a fantastic lady to make me stop in my tracks today. I think it is best to shop/ hunt from this position - not to be already in the mindset and just looking for any warm and willing body to fill the slot. Who knows ? maybe I will get lucky
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Rivardco:
I think it is rare for a colombiana to write extensively by e-mail (beyond the normal cliches) to a new cyber acquaintance. Many colombianas have issues with trust (revolving around abandonment in their lives by men) which we talked about when you called me It takes a while for a colombiana to begin to talk themselves.
Obviously an agency provides convenience, an aopportunity to meet quite a few women in a short period of time and a sense of security.
Re your comments about agencies as "point and click." If a man is unorganized and does not do his homework before he shows up at the agency (and in my experience the overwhelming majority of male clients do not do their homework, then for them it is "point and click."
It revolves around the old adage, what you put into something, is what you wll get out of it. Over and above learning Spanish and having a realistic set of expectations for a stay at an agency...
Specifically if a man shows that he is interested in knowing more about a woman, usually she will respond (if she is free) and unless the age differences and physical differences are too disparate.
One way of doing homework is to write personal correspondence showing that he has read her profile. I don't know how many e-mails I've read that say: Hola Maria, me llamo John. Mi espanol es poco. Usted es much bonita!!! Adios John.
That is point and click....
Let me give you an example of doing "homework." I corresponded by agency e-mail with a member of a Bogota agency before I met her. She was an advertising salesperson for a newspaper in another Colombian city, but her accounts are in Bogota. I asked her the name of her newspaper, she responded and in my next e-mail, I made a comment about one of the articles in her newspaper that day. it took me a few seconds on the Net to find the newspaper's web site.
She was surprised and pleased that I had taken the time. It showed that I was interested in her and her life. That is not "point and click."
If an agency client treats women as indivduals and not as numbers or "the girl with the big boobs", he should have a very good to fabulous experience.
I'm not shilling for any specific agency. I think that the Internet method of finding women in a specific place and traveling to meet them has its plusses. its cheaper,no agency fees. But if things don't work out with your Internet list, then you have down time.
Si decidas viajar en junio, va a Colombia!!!! Los mujeres son magnificas y espectaculares!!!!!!!
Dennis
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Hey Rivardco --- I found these in about 5 minutes on www.sotb.com
take a gander...their search engine is excellent but like I say the website is a little pricey...the very nice looking women look very serious for a relationship (I don't think there are a lot players on this site) I think the women have to pay $$, so that screens out some of the bad apples.
DayTrader
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There are many very sexy, European looking ladies in Columbia. I am thankful. But the proportion of HOT girls is 10% 20%. I know I know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The girls I have seen from Ghana have all been remarkably attractive.
I'm glad someone else noticed Ghana. It seems like it could potentially be a good option, but there's hardly any info out there. It sounds like the girls (and guys) there really want to marry a whitey, which is good for many of us here, and it's a former British colony so English is around, but I've heard a lot of comments about how the girls there will almost invariably sleep with a guy for money. Sounds similar to your description of Dominican women. I think the traditional culture allows for polygynous relationships too.
And now I hear "point and click" description of agencies ringing in my ears.
It would make life much easier.
From the posts here, it seems too easy for a lot of guys. They get coddled by an agency and fed BS about how all the women in X country are perfect, they get a kid in the candy shop attitude, and they fail to do their due diligence. Finding a life partner will never be point and click...
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Turning away from one's culture and toward another is utterly complicated process. For me the crossing point was age. I remember being 28 and feeling "old" - time to get married.
Several years ago, when I became single again - I looked about the same as I did when I was 28 AND I act pretty damn similar too. (I am cursed or blessed depending on your point of view)
It is not acceptable or becoming for a 44 year old to do THAT in the US - acting young is pereceived as a little "off". However, In large cities and immigrant societies I was perceived as young as I looked and behaved. It gave me a breather, and a different vantage point to see the age gap issue in my own life. I concluded my choices were limited by an exclusively American dating pool.
But bridging culture is liberating and a deep challenge. I loved my Romanian girl friend for her different perspective, but that diffferent perspective simultaneously created obstacles. Eastern Europeans can be cold and harsh - generally speaking.
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With girls I have met in Jamaica, Costa Rica, and the DR (I presume Ghana too). There is a very thin line between woman hood and sex worker. It is without all the prejudices our western minds bring to the game too - it is built into the history and genealogy of 500 years.
An open mind can not so easily dismiss this as "Crack whore" behavior. I am currently reading Sun, Sex, and Gold Tourism and Sex Wrok in the Caribbean[ by Kempadoo. This book academically reviews sex in the Caribbean and Central America. Interesting, although written from a feminist's scholarly desk. (I have just begun)
I assume that Columbian, certainly Argentinian are markedly different from these Caribbean cultures.
We will see.
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I would be very careful with Ghana, and Nigeria. Nigeria being the worst for scams. Never never never send money for any kind of possibilities. I have had so many different attempts from those people it isn't funny. After a while I was noticing a theme with them too. Slow it down with them
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With girls I have met in Jamaica, Costa Rica, and the DR (I presume Ghana too). There is a very thin line between woman hood and sex worker. It is without all the prejudices our western minds bring to the game too - it is built into the history and genealogy of 500 years.
An open mind can not so easily dismiss this as "Crack whore" behavior. I am currently reading Sun, Sex, and Gold Tourism and Sex Wrok in the Caribbean[ by Kempadoo. This book academically reviews sex in the Caribbean and Central America. Interesting, although written from a feminist's scholarly desk. (I have just begun)
I assume that Columbian, certainly Argentinian are markedly different from these Caribbean cultures.
We will see.
I predict that you won't see any difference, but it depends on where you, yourself hang out and with whom. I don't mean anything by that, whatsoever. All I am saying is that people that are only in a place for a short time are going to make the most accelerated acquaintances. I agree that Latin and Carribean cultures don't place the stigmas on their bodies that cultures descended from from European ones do, but to think that women all over the world aren't selling sex would seem erroneous to me. I am sure that if one were to spend more time in the areas you spoke of, they would eventually meet women that did not display an aura of "There is a very thin line between woman hood and sex worker."
If you get off the boat or the plane and walk around with no specific place to go (I am not saying this was your specific situation) you are going to run into the party girls and possible hookers first. Women of character aren't going to run up on you like that nor quickly respond to some guy's advances. They tend to respond more to structure, as that is what they are used to for the most part.
Talk of an entire country as being full of hookers is short sighted. I can promise you that depending on how much due diligence you perform, you will come away with the same impression of any country you go to. Especially the ones where the people are naturally friendly in the first place. The flip side is there are more reserved women every where also. They just aren't as easy to find and take longer to get to know.
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SOTB is not only pricey, I don't think it's a good value. It is a reseller that sells addresses. Some of the Bogota girls are retreads from Bogota agencies that are not listed with those agencies anymore.
To get the price per address to a reasonable point is maybe 40 addresses for $199.00. And what do you get? No guarantees. SOTB states that it does not guarantee emails or telephone numbers, so that leaves snail mail. It will replace addresses if they are sent snail mail. So in addition to spending money for international postage, you have to spend money for every letter documenting that you sent it.
And receiving international mail through the Colombian post office system is an oxymoron.
You have now spent about $7-8 a letter for 40 letters to SOTB addresses with nothing to show for it. If you are going to look for Colombian girls on the Internet, stick to the dating sites with e-mail addresses.
Regarding your comments about sex workers in the Caribbean--and is it different in Colombia? the answer is maybe yes and maybe no. Medellin and Cali are inundated with "casas".
What does happen in agencies and everywhere else is that some women (usually younger) will work a guy for money, or a shopping trip or jewelry or money for "a sick relative's operation." Its between prostituion and scamming, and you call it. Most sensible guys' rule of thumb is never give money to a woman unless you have an intimate relationship and you know something about her life.
Again, it depends on why you want to go to Colombia, no value judgements leveled. You will find what you are looking for.
Dennis
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I don't know what it costs to send a mail to Colombia..if any are sent back they will switch out the leads. (maybe you could get them mailed locally from Bogota, this DHL them down there from a hotel address or Colombian p.o. box) but for $200 bucks for 40 quality leads, that's not a bad deal ...and you have 2 months to work your leads...and they have a Tampa FL phone number..it might be worth a shot for $200...heck that's 3 tanks of gas now....just above chicken feed.
DayTrader
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What kind of women are we talking about here where there is a very thin line between woman hood and sex worker? WTF? Just goes to show you that there are a lot more guys than I imagined who want a hooker or former hooker for a wife.
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UC -
"What kind of women are we talking about here where there is a very thin line between woman hood and sex worker? WTF? Just goes to show you that there are a lot more guys than I imagined who want a hooker or former hooker for a wife."
Follow the reasoning being applied to the discussion:
I have a reservation caused by observation and experience ( and now by study too)
... "a thin line between woman hood and sex worker."
You are reading I am seeking woman who is both a woman and sex worker.
UNTRUE.
But, unless you are naive or profoundly oblivious to such things ... elements that contribute to this fact surrounds the female motivation to meet American men.
Eastern Europe
Russia
Caribbean
Central and South America
Philippines
Asia
Again, to be general - 50% economic; 50% character (respectful; optimistic) and personality (connection and chemistry)
And to throw our a controversial assumption ... I presume a large proportion of the Very attractive ladies I see on catalogs and online sites have been compromised by a man one way or another at some point.
I wish / hope this is not true. But I am going in eyes wide open.
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Picking out the poorest country you can find because you think you can do "better" in terms of looks or age differences is a poor strategy IMO. How do you tell if a desperate woman is truly interested in you or just a great actress. First world women need good men too. True you may not have that 50% motivation to get out, so you may have to pick from three million instead of six.... and?
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rivardco,
I am curious about something as I have had this debate with Papi (a friend of mine who used to post here) for years. You have stated that you have become interested in CA and SA for the convenience as opposed to going to the FSU which is both more time consuming and costly.
My question is this: the women in these two places are like night and day in every possible way. It is clear from what you have posted that your preference would be the FSU women. I know you are just starting, but how do you feel you will be satisfied with women that are not your first choice?
CA and SA women are not going to be anything like the FSU women (on average) and the FSU women are not going to be like the women in CA or SA. Bloodlines, cultures, you name it...they are completely different. Papi always complained that the women in SA were not this or that, and knowing what he preferred, I asked him the same question I am asking you.
He has never given me a straight answer...
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Daytrader: I met the last lady whose photo you posted above (the 27 year old) in Manizales about 1 year ago. She showed up on time, was very attractive in person but we didn't click. She's also listed in Colombiacupido agency.
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Daytrader: I met the last lady whose photo you posted above (the 27 year old) in Manizales about 1 year ago. She showed up on time, was very attractive in person but we didn't click. She's also listed in Colombiacupido agency.
Then something had to be wrong with YOU! jajajaja!!!! ;)
DayTrader
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Jeff Wrote" Picking out the poorest country you can find because you think you can do "better" in terms of looks or age differences is a poor strategy IMO. How do you tell if a desperate woman is truly interested in you or just a great actress. First world women need good men too. True you may not have that 50% motivation to get out, so you may have to pick from three million instead of six.... and?"
I would say "skating on thin ice for sure."
That is NOT my purpose. I don't know how such a sentiment could have been mistakenly communicated to you by me?
Soltero wrote: "rivardco,
I am curious about something as I have had this debate with Papi (a friend of mine who used to post here) for years. You have stated that you have become interested in CA and SA for the convenience as opposed to going to the FSU which is both more time consuming and costly. My question is this: the women in these two places are like night and day in every possible way. It is clear from what you have posted that your preference would be the FSU women. I know you are just starting, but how do you feel you will be satisfied with women that are not your first choice? CA and SA women are not going to be anything like the FSU women (on average) and the FSU women are not going to be like the women in CA or SA. Bloodlines, cultures, you name it...they are completely different. Papi always complained that the women in SA were not this or that, and knowing what he preferred, I asked him the same question I am asking you.
He has never given me a straight answer..." I certainly will.
For me, this is not an either / or question.
I ACCIDENTALLY met a Russian girl already in the US. That lead to another and another. In any cross cultural relationship, a certian extra understanidng and extra flexibility is required. As I was just reading the characteristics of Russian girls on the internet, I stumbled into www.RussianWomenDiscussion.com. Then, I became introduced to how formal and organized this interest is ... what structures have been created to facilitate these relationships.
I think Russian girls and FSU girls and very attractive. They seem to be as interested in me as I am in them. But there is a cold and calculating side I have learned. I want to go to Ukraine this summer, but my work schedule takes me to the Caribbean very very frequently - the DR specifically.
How can any single man spend time in the DR and not find a very pretty DR girl that is excited to spend time with him? Not me!
But, I have not been able to take these "trisks" seriously, because only a simple connection has existed. I have even gone to the big cities just to see if it is a constant characteristic of the DR population. Largely, it seems to be.
My involvement in the Latin culture has made it necessary for the to begin learning Spanish ... Salsa and Maranga too:)
I have a close friend who is married to a Colombian. He has known my experience with Russian ladies and has told for years that I should check out Colombia (I imagined nice looking but Indian looking people, and so I resisted - my bad) Then, he invited me to dinner a couple of weeks ago. His wife: BEAUTIFUL, EDUCATED; ELEGANT. ???????????
Maybe I missed the boat a little?
I joined Amigos 2 weeks ago, found this place over the weekend.
I am not looking to get married immediately ... but increasingly, I am comming to believe that there is no future for me with American women.
Although, I do set my sights high ... I am not needy, or lonely. I am simply expanding my dating pool. I have made travel and entertainment part of my business. I don't care much to overly define the TYPE of woman that I would fall in real love with (I probably would be wrong anyway). That does not interest me.
If I find an American woman - that's cool
IF I find an FSU woman - that's cool
If I find any other kinda woman - that's cool too.
I have high expectations and I am attracted to physical features that are not for outside my own.
I don't think anyone / any culture is perfect (I know I am not).
The one thing that is for God Dam sure ... is that I am not going to change to fit in with / or catch / or conform to, for the exclusive sake of attracting / appeasing a woman. Been there done that. I could go on and on and on.
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rivardco,
My question is this: the women in these two places are like night and day in every possible way. It is clear from what you have posted that your preference would be the FSU women. I know you are just starting, but how do you feel you will be satisfied with women that are not your first choice?
I don't really think they are different like 'night and day'. An attractive babe is an attractive babe, wheather she be black, brown, or bone white! My first choice is Cindy Crawford 15 years ago. I'm not going to settle for Kathy Bates, but something in between would be fine, but much closer to Crawford than Bates for sure!
I think you can find woman with good personalities from both parts of the earth, but it seems to make sense to go with the areas that you normally travel to and where the communication is easier.
Fathertime!
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Fathertime, your avatar is a little spooky. What's up with that?
Quick Question regarding South of the Border introductions: On their home page is a link to what appears to be another home page:
http://www.latinamericanmodels.com/
PERFECT!
But, is this real, or BS.
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I don't really think they are different like 'night and day'. An attractive babe is an attractive babe, wheather she be black, brown, or bone white! My first choice is Cindy Crawford 15 years ago. I'm not going to settle for Kathy Bates, but something in between would be fine, but much closer to Crawford than Bates for sure!
I think you can find woman with good personalities from both parts of the earth, but it seems to make sense to go with the areas that you normally travel to and where the communication is easier.
Fathertime!
FT, I wasn't specifically talking about physical features, although thiose differ as well, but you can find different features in both places even though the predominant features in general may be completely different. The cultures are completely different in my opinon, to the point of being like night and day. Of course, a beautiful woman is going to be a beautiful woman all day long, but is she goijng to be quiet and calculating like you might find in the FSU (They tend to automatically size up EVERYONE instantly...friend or food), or an outgoing, dance at the drop of a hat Latina?
I am not saying either one is better than the other, I just think that if you go for one type of woman, it would take a 180 degree turn to go for the other. (I am not talking about bells and whistles time, I am talking about the rest of the 24 hours in a day).
AND, (as far as looks) if you like slim, 5'9" -6'0" natural blondes, you have to admit, the first place that comes to mind is not going to be CA or SA...
Personally, everybody is everybody to me, but some people do have strict(er) requirements in what they are looking for. I just think if that's the case, you should go for what you want instead of taking shortcuts as you won't ever be satisfied if you do.
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Soltero wrote: "rivardco,
I am curious about something as I have had this debate with Papi (a friend of mine who used to post here) for years. You have stated that you have become interested in CA and SA for the convenience as opposed to going to the FSU which is both more time consuming and costly. My question is this: the women in these two places are like night and day in every possible way. It is clear from what you have posted that your preference would be the FSU women. I know you are just starting, but how do you feel you will be satisfied with women that are not your first choice? CA and SA women are not going to be anything like the FSU women (on average) and the FSU women are not going to be like the women in CA or SA. Bloodlines, cultures, you name it...they are completely different. Papi always complained that the women in SA were not this or that, and knowing what he preferred, I asked him the same question I am asking you.
He has never given me a straight answer..." I certainly will.
For me, this is not an either / or question.
I ACCIDENTALLY met a Russian girl already in the US. That lead to another and another. In any cross cultural relationship, a certian extra understanidng and extra flexibility is required. As I was just reading the characteristics of Russian girls on the internet, I stumbled into www.RussianWomenDiscussion.com. Then, I became introduced to how formal and organized this interest is ... what structures have been created to facilitate these relationships.
I think Russian girls and FSU girls and very attractive. They seem to be as interested in me as I am in them. But there is a cold and calculating side I have learned. I want to go to Ukraine this summer, but my work schedule takes me to the Caribbean very very frequently - the DR specifically.
How can any single man spend time in the DR and not find a very pretty DR girl that is excited to spend time with him? Not me!
But, I have not been able to take these "trisks" seriously, because only a simple connection has existed. I have even gone to the big cities just to see if it is a constant characteristic of the DR population. Largely, it seems to be.
My involvement in the Latin culture has made it necessary for the to begin learning Spanish ... Salsa and Maranga too:)
I have a close friend who is married to a Colombian. He has known my experience with Russian ladies and has told for years that I should check out Colombia (I imagined nice looking but Indian looking people, and so I resisted - my bad) Then, he invited me to dinner a couple of weeks ago. His wife: BEAUTIFUL, EDUCATED; ELEGANT. ???????????
Maybe I missed the boat a little?
I joined Amigos 2 weeks ago, found this place over the weekend.
I am not looking to get married immediately ... but increasingly, I am comming to believe that there is no future for me with American women.
Although, I do set my sights high ... I am not needy, or lonely. I am simply expanding my dating pool. I have made travel and entertainment part of my business. I don't care much to overly define the TYPE of woman that I would fall in real love with (I probably would be wrong anyway). That does not interest me.
If I find an American woman - that's cool
IF I find an FSU woman - that's cool
If I find any other kinda woman - that's cool too.
I have high expectations and I am attracted to physical features that are not for outside my own.
I don't think anyone / any culture is perfect (I know I am not).
The one thing that is for God Dam sure ... is that I am not going to change to fit in with / or catch / or conform to, for the exclusive sake of attracting / appeasing a woman. Been there done that. I could go on and on and on.
Thanks for your response. I hope that when you do make your trip to SA, you will be able to tell us how you would compare the two cultures. Some apects of hispanic culture are universal, but there WILL be a difference between the DR and say, Colombia, or Argentina moreso due to the poverty in the DR than anything else (again, MHO). Considering Colombia's largest export, you really can't go by the CIA Fact Book when calculating the amount of money floating around down there.
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Fathertime, your avatar is a little spooky. What's up with that?
Quick Question regarding South of the Border introductions: On their home page is a link to what appears to be another home page:
http://www.latinamericanmodels.com/
PERFECT!
But, is this real, or BS.
Yes, yes, I know perhaps I will have to consider taking a different photo, maybe a scarf over my face like Henry's avatar would be more becoming! I don't know much about the SOTB agency, but I don't trust the agencies that have women that are TOO attractive. They are almost always full of poopy.
AND, (as far as looks) if you like slim, 5'9" -6'0" natural blondes, you have to admit, the first place that comes to mind is not going to be CA or SA...
Old fella,
I do like girls with those features too! I wonder how many men are totally pigeon-holed into an absolute look.
I had a brief conversation with a blond cheerleading coach today (about 30 years old) very attractive, yet I did not hardly even notice her until I saw her hips swaying as she was walking away. She was actually somewhat flirty but all I did was give unenthusiastic grunts and non-verbal cues that I was in a hurry to leave. I think I have accidently written off attractive women from the US! Good old Paps used to always point out not to forget the women in your own backyard! He did have a valid point there.
Fathertime!
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I like brunettes :)
But I do like my girls skinny. I have noticed not many Columbian are?
Will keep you updates
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Rivardco:
You can't find a skinny Colombian woman?????? Jiminy Christmas! Most of the women live on vegetables!!!!!! if you take them out for lunch or dinner, odds are damned good they will order salmon!!!!
5'4, 96 pounds, 5'6, 101 pounds, 5'5, 105 pounds there are oodles of women!!!!
Dennis
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Old fella,
I do like girls with those features too! I wonder how many men are totally pigeon-holed into an absolute look.
I had a brief conversation with a blond cheerleading coach today (about 30 years old) very attractive, yet I did not hardly even notice her until I saw her hips swaying as she was walking away. She was actually somewhat flirty but all I did was give unenthusiastic grunts and non-verbal cues that I was in a hurry to leave. I think I have accidently written off attractive women from the US! Good old Paps used to always point out not to forget the women in your own backyard! He did have a valid point there.
Fathertime!
I am pretty flexible when it comes to what I like. I will admit that my favorite flavor is peanut butter with a topping of long, dark, raven tresses. To each his own and it's ALL good. You know Papi...he is about as high maintenance as a person can get (lol)...
I have asked him out of frustration from listening to him complain about Latinas why the hell hasn't he gone to Russia or Scandanavia yet for chrissakes! ::)
As far as the cheerleading coach, all that grunting probably turned her on! You know what you were doing, you sly devil! (lol) :D
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Then something had to be wrong with YOU! jajajaja!!!! ;)
DayTrader
Could be! :D
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I like brunettes :)
But I do like my girls skinny. I have noticed not many Columbian are?
Will keep you updates
You might want to also check out some of the smaller cities Rivardco such as Armenia, Manizales, etc..
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Rivardco:
You can't find a skinny Colombian woman?????? Jiminy Christmas! Most of the women live on vegetables!!!!!! if you take them out for lunch or dinner, odds are damned good they will order salmon!!!!
5'4, 96 pounds, 5'6, 101 pounds, 5'5, 105 pounds there are oodles of women!!!!
Dennis
mine in Costa Rica....5 ft 4 inches....115 pounds.....
genetically nonexistent if over the age of 25 in America....
DayTrader
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I like brunettes :)
But I do like my girls skinny. I have noticed not many Columbian are?
Will keep you updates
You'll like Bogota then....many many women into their late 30's have hips that are of a Dress Size 1 or Size 2............. get on the damn plane!
DayTrader
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Rivardco,
I looked in different countries before I settled on Colombia.It was difficult at times to decide on where to go. There was only so much information I could gather on a country before I decided that I just needed to go and check it out for myself.Internet sites are great but the photos on these sites don't always tell the whole story and there is no substitute for meeting these women in person.
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Come on guys. Before the chanting starts "Get on the Plane. Get on the Plane" ... You gotta know:
I have been on this board 4 days. I have been in my home town less than 20 days ALL year. Las Vegas; New York; Atlanta; St. Thomas; Puerto Rico; St. Martin; Dominican Republic; Hippie Music Festival and psychedelic drugs; Miami for EXXXOTICA (I'll explain later)
- and there where many ladies ALL ALONG THE WAY -
I will be in the Caribbean half of May and June (Then - I think I will check out Colombia). Back to the DR for 10 days in July. Got the Burning Man counter culture festival in the desert in August (gotta write off 15 days for the event and the anticipated hangover). Back in the DR last week in September for 2 weeks. Then I'll skip over to the Eastern Europe for three weeks: Prague; Bucharest; Kiev; and Yalta.
Get back for some quite family time for the Holidays.
It has been / will be one hell of a 2008.
Comprende
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skinny girls are nice but I like em better with curves. JLo type curves
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Come on guys. Before the chanting starts "Get on the Plane. Get on the Plane" ... You gotta know:
I have been on this board 4 days. I have been in my home town less than 20 days ALL year. Las Vegas; New York; Atlanta; St. Thomas; Puerto Rico; St. Martin; Dominican Republic; Hippie Music Festival and psychedelic drugs; Miami for EXXXOTICA (I'll explain later)
- and there where many ladies ALL ALONG THE WAY -
I will be in the Caribbean half of May and June (Then - I think I will check out Colombia). Back to the DR for 10 days in July. Got the Burning Man counter culture festival in the desert in August (gotta write off 15 days for the event and the anticipated hangover). Back in the DR last week in September for 2 weeks. Then I'll skip over to the Eastern Europe for three weeks: Prague; Bucharest; Kiev; and Yalta.
Get back for some quite family time for the Holidays.
It has been / will be one hell of a 2008.
Comprende
you qualify for the Frequent Haven't Been Home Lately exemption (when did you last do laundry at home?)........otherwise to those wishing detailed dress sizes and weight/hair ratios of possible latinas ....get on the #$%%@ plane!
The first trip is just to get your feet wet (it's a brief vacation and a reason to blow the dust off your passport)
....when you go on your SECOND trip, that's when things get a little more (introspectively) serious. You are not allowed to fall in love at any time during the first trip, it's all hormones you are feeling. What you see and feel is a big change from what you are used to with AW, so most of us are easily impressed. 2nd and 3rd trips (due diligence & research are your main projects) tend to open your eyes and reality tends to sink in, that's my experience anyway.
DayTrader
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You're spending way too much time in the DR. It's skewing your whole perspective.
I briefly corresponded with a woman from the DR. She was a manager in call center so she had a pretty good job for that place but she had 3 children by three different men! No thanks! Not for me.
I'll stick to the Medellin widows who have only been with one man in their lives.
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Riv, that was a nice geography lesson, but why don't you tell us the plan. Are you out for some tang, or are you looking for a potential wife? you are all over the map here, bud. LAND somewhere will ya?
I am convinced that Colombian women are the best choice-pretty, sincere, and yes firm AND skinny. Make sure you dig deep when you think you may have discovered HER, though. When it comes to the Colombiana, crazy can also prove to be a trait.
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This might offend somebody but DR women cannot hold a candle to Peruvian or Colombian women in my opinion.. Now if you are talking about just getting some well that is another story..
I am talking wife material and mother of your children material.. I agree with Jonno when I ask.. What the heck you looking for ? If you are looking for a wife , DR is not the bests place to look in my opinion..
singlefather
..
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With girls I have met in Jamaica, Costa Rica, and the DR (I presume Ghana too). There is a very thin line between woman hood and sex worker. It is without all the prejudices our western minds bring to the game too - it is built into the history and genealogy of 500 years.
An open mind can not so easily dismiss this as "Crack whore" behavior. I am currently reading Sun, Sex, and Gold Tourism and Sex Wrok in the Caribbean[ by Kempadoo. This book academically reviews sex in the Caribbean and Central America. Interesting, although written from a feminist's scholarly desk. (I have just begun)
I assume that Columbian, certainly Argentinian are markedly different from these Caribbean cultures.
We will see.
Yes a big difference my friend.. night and day..
" There is a very thin line between woman hood and sex worker."
I think you must have been having a lot of fun in the past when you come up with a statement like that.. Hey all the power too you..
Now when and if you are serious about finding a wife you can find some great ones in many SA countries..
I wish you all the luck in your search....
singlefather
..
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Come on guys. Before the chanting starts "Get on the Plane. Get on the Plane" ... You gotta know:
I have been on this board 4 days. I have been in my home town less than 20 days ALL year. Las Vegas; New York; Atlanta; St. Thomas; Puerto Rico; St. Martin; Dominican Republic; Hippie Music Festival and psychedelic drugs; Miami for EXXXOTICA (I'll explain later)
- and there where many ladies ALL ALONG THE WAY -
I will be in the Caribbean half of May and June (Then - I think I will check out Colombia). Back to the DR for 10 days in July. Got the Burning Man counter culture festival in the desert in August (gotta write off 15 days for the event and the anticipated hangover). Back in the DR last week in September for 2 weeks. Then I'll skip over to the Eastern Europe for three weeks: Prague; Bucharest; Kiev; and Yalta.
Get back for some quite family time for the Holidays.
It has been / will be one hell of a 2008.
Comprende
So, what are you looking for? Sounds like you are having too much fun to want to settle down.
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What's my PLAN
I don't have a plan to find a wife, or a timetable. Both of these are grounded in the foundations of our modern life materialism - this is not like shopping for a puppy.
My only intention is to move my body and bridge cultures so that I may enjoy meeting the highest qualities ladies that attract and interest me. Beats the hell out of just staying in one location.
I go to the DR on BUSINESS, not exclusively pleasure.
I intended this year to be a "Walk About". It is.
I am having fun (more in the first 3 months, than in the last 10 years). That does not mean I do not notice what is missing.
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I just don't understand you Rivardco...why you haven't immediately booked your trip to Amor De Cartegena yet?? hhhmmmmmmmmmm???
Paradise dude..you're missing "paradise".....
geeze.....
DayTrader
{a hearty laugh was had by all} ;D ;D ;D
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Sounds like you have a very healthy attitude rivardco. Way too many guys come here and post questions like "How quickly and inexpensively can I find a wife in LA?" as if they're trying to get past an unpleasant task in the least possible amount of time and money.
Like you, I didn't set out with the single minded task of finding a wife. I spent quite a few years traveling on business and enjoying life, and liked being single and traveling the world on an expense account. I eventually met someone in the normal course of life who turned out to be the one.
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Jeff S wrote "I spent quite a few years traveling on business and enjoying life, and liked being single and traveling the world on an expense account. I eventually met someone in the normal course of life who turned out to be the one."
BINGO! That is EXACTLY how I feel.
The type of woman I hope to marry is the type of woman that ALL men dream about. Very beautiful, educated, morally sound, without children, between the ages of 24 - 34. I think my expectations are on the border of realistic and fantasy. (meaning - I have to get a little lucky). Just like anything, this requires WORK. And if you accept this view, it is like a sales campaign:
step one - identify the prospects
step two - qualify the prospects
step three - initial presentations
step four - subsequent presentations
step five - close the sale.
The thing about online personals and agencies and the internet is step one and two are expanded enormously from the state of nature. I see that as a real PLUS.
These boards are excellent for finding guidance. Thank you all for your help.
I have already started using the web sites referenced in this thread, and have made preliminary investigations into agencies. I am certain I will visit several Central and South American countries I have heretofore not visited this summer. Since I do have business interests in the DR, and am there frequently ... I could invite ladies to visit me there thus avoiding immigration BS.
Will keep you all advised.
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I think it would be agreed that finding a wife takes time, especially when you are approaching, or have reached middle-age. Yes, traveling can bring opportunity if you have the time and the money. I think this site is more directed towards educating-SAVING its members time and money-in this quest to find "what every man dreams about". I'm wondering where meeting a woman from a different country, with a different culture and language falls in the "normal course of life"? In America, the ideal couple might often be the man who marries his high school sweetheart (2 brothers met this way-one married the prom queen). Others generally meet their wives at the workplace (my parents met at GM). I wonder what the divorce rate is for meeting her at the bar? In some cases, maybe its necessary to travel the world to find miss perfect. I would warn Riv that the family oriented, religious, carefree Colombiana won't have much interest in the five step sales pitch.
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Holy moly !! Jonno....que foto de la bien buena.....ella es una mujeron..no??
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The sales process is swift and painless ... it is the prospecting that is a bitch
:)
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Jonno:
I'm wondering where meeting a woman from a different country, with a different culture and language falls in the "normal course of life"?
If you're single, traveling to different countries on business, meeting a lot of locals, doing lots of local things, visiting people in their homes, etc. then meeting and dating foreign women who speak foreign languages becomes the normal course of life.
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One does not "naturally" become a doctor, or lawyer either.
These are pursuits. Something that one aspires to create.
This is more, or less, the case with traveling and expanding your dating pool to different countries.
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The sales process is swift and painless ... it is the prospecting that is a bitch
:)
..also part of the sales process is "overcoming objections"....care to tell us any war stories RIV? I am always looking to increase my "closing ratio" LOL
DayTrader
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On the other board, I spend a lot of time talking about the need for a person to know themselves and what it is they seek in a woman in a very deep and detailed way. (I recall no one was interested in such dialog ... get me a warm willing body as cheap and as fast as possible was the main thrust)
I think knowing yourself is 70% of the battle.
(I am sorry ... I'm the kind of guy that reads psychology and philosophy to relax. I tend to be very esoteric. But I believe it is in such things that truth, conviction, and a knowing arise)
If one does this - and it may take time, and a few expensive sessions with a good shrink ... maybe a long sailing trip by oneself ... or maybe even spending too much time with sexy girls whose speed is set a little too high for family life. These events change a man.
ANYWAY, My point is that you have to knock the NEED out of your search for a second half - otherwise you are anything but manly. And I realized at the age of 44, my boyish charm did not carry any currency. Women value something different in me now than they did 15 years ago. Gentlemanly qualities; knowledge and intellect; and primarily safety - even in the non-material sense.
When I realized - about a year ago - that young and sexy girls were making me get a little unglued, I knew I had to fix the problem. My solution. OVERDOSE.
After many war stories ... I am better now. Maybe a little emotionally unavailable too. But I would rather start off here then where I was a year ago. My closing rate now is a billion times better too:)
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Yep, neediness and lack of self-knowledge are well-known trouble-makers in men's marital pursuits.
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On the other board, I spend a lot of time talking about the need for a person to know themselves and what it is they seek in a woman in a very deep and detailed way. (I recall no one was interested in such dialog ... get me a warm willing body as cheap and as fast as possible was the main thrust)
After many war stories ... I am better now. Maybe a little emotionally unavailable too. But I would rather start off here then where I was a year ago. My closing rate now is a billion times better too:)
Yes, I agree RIV with the superficiality of Forums, by and large.
The FW I have had meaningful relationships in the past have all been (to one extent or another) bilingual. Thus, verbal communication between us was very deep and meaningful and any communication roadblocks were quickly overcome. Any incompatibility issues could be smoked out within 90 days. Thus, prospecting (around my busy schedule) had been the major endeavor.
DayTrader
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If one does this - and it may take time, and a few expensive sessions with a good shrink ... maybe a long sailing trip by oneself ... or maybe even spending too much time with sexy girls whose speed is set a little too high for family life. These events change a man.
ANYWAY, My point is that you have to knock the NEED out of your search for a second half - otherwise you are anything but manly. And I realized at the age of 44, my boyish charm did not carry any currency. Women value something different in me now than they did 15 years ago. Gentlemanly qualities; knowledge and intellect; and primarily safety - even in the non-material sense.
It is wise to realize this transition from 'boyish charm' to something else. Sometimes people don't realize how foolish & weak they appear when they are playing the wrong mating game at the wrong time.
Fathertime!
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War Story #17
I went out on a cold winter night with a group of young girls from Romania in New York city (college student). They had been invited to go out to a hot new dance club called - Cabel in SOHO.
Anyway. Before we left, one of the girls brought plum vodka from her home where they make the stuff from scratch. It was warm and good and strong. By the time we got a taxi, my tongue expanded to several inches its normal size, and I was fighting to focus my eyes. My date looked at me - NOT disapprovingly (that would have been my former wife's game) ... this was something different. This was surprise and disappointment in the form of "I might not be attracted to you anymore."
It was a look of spontaneous evaluation. I was not a mood, or a statement. It was foundational.
Good think it was cold as hell. I sobered up before we hit the club - soda water the rest of the night. I just remembered this decision paid very great dividends. I could not have done that if I was looped for sure.
Lesson #1 - Drinking is with the boys, not the girls
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I sobered up before we hit the club - soda water the rest of the night. I just remembered this decision paid very great dividends.
whew! To elucidate my comment about what interests the Colombiana, i don't know how much Spanish you speak, but to save her from being aburrido como una ostra (bored to death) i can confidently and respectfully advise you in your preferred marketing lingo that if you make any attempt to impress latina mas bonita with any esoteric hogwash, she will refuse to deal with extreme prejudice. :-[
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Roger that Jonno!
My manner will be much different I assure you. My Espaniol un poco. By June it will be better. (I am spending May in Punta Cana)
I may try to impress myself, or even some new friends over a glass of wine from time to time. But ... I know. You are not the first that has been turned off by marketing lingo. What can I say? We do what we do. My apologies.
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What's my PLAN
I don't have a plan to find a wife, or a timetable. Both of these are grounded in the foundations of our modern life materialism - this is not like shopping for a puppy.
Exactly, it isn't like shopping for a puppy.I spent about 10 years looking around before I met my wife and I travelled quite a bit before that.I think alot of guys come here looking for some "hard and fast rules" for success in finding a wife.There have been discussions on age difference and looks but to me finding a woman with common goals, values and interests is more important.
Have you decided where you will travel this summer?
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I will spend about 40 days in the DR, which is good for Spanish and Culture - far less for finding a serious woman.
I will go to Coast Rica and Belize just to take a look at business and tourism locations for a week or two
Hold on your Martha ... got to go take a peak at Colombia.
Don't exactly know where, with whom. I have met several pretty girls already on ColombianCupid and LatinAmericanCupid. I have a friend who wants to introduce me to some of his friend's friends. I have made a good contact with SOBI. Nice American guy. He has an interest in a Model Agency and an Introduction agency in Columbia.
And Introductions by Consuelo gives great service and has some very quality ladies.
Will keep you advised ...
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..sure RIV...heck their prices are very reasonable...this quote off their website is a put off to me however...
To find a spouse, it is recommended by professional advisors that you be prepared to spend 10% to 20% of your gross income.
...after looking at their website, one could easily state "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!" ;D ;D ;D
heck, their deal on ten dates (dinners) seem reasonable also...
so who is the first date going to be with?
.......a model.......
........a flight attendant....
or (my favorite)
.......a student!..........
the betting window will be open at 1 pm today....!
DayTrader
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For what it is worth:
I have found Amigos to be less responsive. I have enjoyed very little quality correspondence with anyone (maybe 2).
I have found Columbian Cupid to be highly responsive. It enables me to sharpen my interests to the highest level (appearance; education; English; no children) We are such lucky bastards for even finding this place ... amazing
I have found LatinAmericanCupid to be slightly less that ColumbianCupid - but then again, I am not a paid member - that might have something to do with it?
So I have a question!
All the cupid sites - including the Dominican and Brazilian that I have not yet subscribed to, seem to be the same company. Are these separate databases of women? The compilation of content produces a better service ... I am confused?
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Rivardco,
I am glad you are having fun and finding response on CC.. In regards to Latinamericancupid , I know talking to some amigas of mine that they don't look at a guy seriously until he is a paid member.. If he can't afford a membership or has not got one yet then he might not be serious about a potential relationship some of them think..
singlefather
..
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All the cupid sites - including the Dominican and Brazilian that I have not yet subscribed to, seem to be the same company. Are these separate databases of women? The compilation of content produces a better service ... I am confused?
I would have expected that they would have a common database, since they all obviously use a very similar template, but I had taken a run through the Colombian profiles on both sites and I did not see a significant number of common listings.
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I would have expected that they would have a common database, since they all obviously use a very similar template, but I had taken a run through the Colombian profiles on both sites and I did not see a significant number of common listings.
The business model of websites is the exact opposite of what you thought. Develop a template then generate separate revenue streams using the same exact programming template. Once you recoup developing the first program, all the rest is profit.
entrepreneurism...capitalism....it works...it creates wealth & jobs...and much more efficient and effective then some stupid government program run by know-nothing bureaucrats.
DayTrader
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SingleFather wrote: "In regards to Latinamericancupid , I know talking to some amigas of mine that they don't look at a guy seriously until he is a paid member."
Excellent point! I would not have thought of that.
Gracias
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I found my girlfriend from Brazil on Latinamericancupid. Just take some time to weed out the flakes and you will find someone you are compatible with. I made the mistake of passing out my email for MSM to many times, before I found my Namorada..
Some of them get quite rude when you delete them from MSM.
Wonderful person and we seem quite compatable. Today is off to the school to look at English lessons for her.
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I started using latinlovesearch.com, and it is a free site. I have recieved many responses and it looks like it has a pretty good database of women, some better than others though. I got the link from this forum by one of the posters. Just thought I would share that with you if you are not ready to be a paying member of any particular site. I usually avoid those to a certain degree, and have found many women who appreciate me for good conversation, and not my paid membership.
SF I am finding that Peruvian women are a special breed, and are a bit different from those of Colombia I like it so far.
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I found my girlfriend from Brazil on Latinamericancupid. Just take some time to weed out the flakes and you will find someone you are compatible with. I made the mistake of passing out my email for MSM to many times, before I found my Namorada..
Some of them get quite rude when you delete them from MSM.
Wonderful person and we seem quite compatable. Today is off to the school to look at English lessons for her.
I used a yahoo messenger login only for women that made past the IM sessions on www.latinamericancupid.com --- then, if I wanted, I would add her to my yahoo messenger list only after we had some good emails...I only had a couple women on my messenger chat at any given time, -- when things get serious between us I deleted all others left in my yahoo messenger group and only would chat with her; also I would turn my profile off in LAC -- as long as you are still playing the field then you don't do any of this and the latinas understand that also.
If a latina would IM me while I am chatting with another woman, I'd set up a later time for us to chat. If she got pushy then I would scratch her off the list...the classy "good" women would play it smart and be polite when I am busy with someone else on messenger.
A good final test (before you get serious) is to see how she handles when you have to cut a IM session short or break a date - explain something came up (in advance) and can we reschedule? This is good to use of she is very good looking - you will see if she is stuck up or manipulative (or a "princess")...in a couple cases I never heard from the lady again, good riddance.
You don't want to buy a plane ticket and then find this out...
DayTrader
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Let me pose this question. While this has been an interesting thread, Why do you all consider DR woman a bad choice? As a daily observer and a newbie on this forum, DR seem to get a bad rap. I don't know if it is because the woman are loose and have nothing going on, or is it not a good agency presences there. I would like some other alternatives other than just Peru and Colombia. To find a good Latina. From what I have read and heard, finding a wife is based on similar interests, communication and knowing your self. So why discourage people from choosing one country over another? I really want to know everyones opinion. Sorry for twisting the forum a little.
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I have nothing against the DR and believe the women to be exceptionally beautiful. I have a few Dominican friends, and they give mixed reviews as to the quality of the women, but that can be said about every Latin American country.
I do have one general rule that applies to looking for a long term relationship in a foreign country and that is stay away from the poorest places. The DR fits in that category. I generally think that everyone is everyone and we aren't all that different, but when it comes to poverty, lack of education, and any knowledge of etiquette or fairplay, you began to see the diferences quickly when you step into truly third world areas. There are many women in the DR and other areas that are probably exceptional on any level, but again, as a general rule, stay away from the poorest of the poor wherever you are...
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Let me pose this question. While this has been an interesting thread, Why do you all consider DR woman a bad choice? As a daily observer and a newbie on this forum, DR seem to get a bad rap. I don't know if it is because the woman are loose and have nothing going on, or is it not a good agency presences there. I would like some other alternatives other than just Peru and Colombia. To find a good Latina. From what I have read and heard, finding a wife is based on similar interests, communication and knowing your self. So why discourage people from choosing one country over another? I really want to know everyones opinion. Sorry for twisting the forum a little.
You seem to be new here JLM... Welcome to P-L.
Your post confuses me, however. I believe RIV is the only person that had substantial experience with DR that contributed to this thread...I don't recall him using the term "bad" in describing women in DR...he expressed a 'preference' for something 'more'.
I started a new business in the DR. Some Dominican ladies are as beautiful and beautiful gets ... very pleasing. BUT a little too simple / primitive to take seriously.
I'd suggest re-reading RIV'S comments about DR - I think you will come to a different understanding. Expressing a preference for something better is not calling the other thing 'bad', it is just expressing his opinion of what he is looking for.
Since RIV is a regular visitor to DR, I would give his experience some weight.
Another poster related to possible 'bad character' of some of the women, but mentioned it was from second hand information in his post.
The rest of the thread deals with 'first hand info' about Colombia and our resident Peru-Love-Expurt SingleFather. I think I threw in something about Costa Rica.
I would encourage to "think" about what YOU want in a foreign woman relationship and then cruise around the Latin Trip Reports area to get your feet wet. You can pick specific threads or Forums and use the Search function to look up specific key words to assist your search. 9 years ago, when I started considering this idea, the first thing I had to deal with, "what do I REALLY WANT that I can't seem to find in the USA?" This is a very selfish question, I encourage you to find the answer in the coming months.
I would echo Soltero's comments about staying away from the poorest areas of any country you consider - the trip reports will give you insight on how to deal with the two major concepts in life, WOMEN & MONEY. haha!!
Again, welcome to Planet-Love. The search for her is more than half the fun!
DayTrader
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Let me pose this question. While this has been an interesting thread, Why do you all consider DR woman a bad choice? As a daily observer and a newbie on this forum, DR seem to get a bad rap. I don't know if it is because the woman are loose and have nothing going on, or is it not a good agency presences there. I would like some other alternatives other than just Peru and Colombia. To find a good Latina. From what I have read and heard, finding a wife is based on similar interests, communication and knowing your self. So why discourage people from choosing one country over another? I really want to know everyones opinion. Sorry for twisting the forum a little.
Brazil comes up a bit, maybe as much as Peru. KB likes Ecuador. Maybe you'd like DR, maybe you wouldn't, who knows. If you're really curious, check it out for yourself.
Definitely a good idea to avoid poor (desperate) girls though.
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Brazil comes up a bit, maybe as much as Peru. KB likes Ecuador. Maybe you'd like DR, maybe you wouldn't, who knows. If you're really curious, check it out for yourself.
Definitely a good idea to avoid poor (desperate) girls though.
I personally would have been planning my next trip to Columbia if I never found my "Namorada" in Brazil. Columbia has very for agencies to weed out the bad women that only want a free ticket to north America.
Finding someone that is working is a deffinate must for me. Most of the time there is some work where they live. My girlfriend has a job in a city where there is high unemployment. She might not be making much but she is working.
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What do you seek in a woman? As fare as going outside the American pool of women, these elements have taken on a new and important meaning to me:
1, Beauty
2, Honesty
3, Intellectual
4, Good Mother
5, Loyal Good Wife
6, Compatible cultural references (upbringing; family values)
7, Fashion and social grace
8, religious / superstitious (I have found superstition and atheism to surprising degrees)
9, Psychological tenancies (jealous; objective oriented to a point of coldness)
I hate to admit it, but we all must be honest until it hurts. Physical beauty is important to me - more important than I intellectually KNOW it should be. And my standards for what is beautiful have gotten too high to be healthy. (I'm working on it)
But it is not the only thing.
The DR has some incredibly beautiful women - mostly exotic mixed race beautiful; but some mulatto to the degree of white too.
I have not meet a woman on the entire island that could easily hold her own intellectually and socially in challenging environments that I frequent. I am aware of everything that is missing from both extremes, but I am seeking a person who can be comfortable in the simple and the complex.
Is it possible to draw a generalization for a country that has + 6 million? YES. I give an almost unqualified testimony that DR ladies are simple and primitive - in a sweet and human way! Like native American Indians.
I am hoping to find something more from Colombia and Brazil.
CASE IN POINT.
Today, I received the best letter yet from Latin American Cupid. When I say BEST I mean most descriptive and emotionalized. The kind of evidence you welcome and try to build upon. The originator was a RUSSIAN GIRL?!?!?!? :) I'm serious.
One thing that has become apparent to me in contrasting communicating with ladies from Colombia versus Eastern Europe is the depth of connection that is created in written correspondence. I am simply noting this point. I am not saying this is the END of the story. It MAY well be that after letters AND visits, the awareness and familiarity are entirely different in a manner that compliments the Latin American regions ... I'm just saying.
I know my expectations are too high. No "not ugly", 44 year old , white guy should have the balls to hope for what I am hoping for - yet I am. So for me the DR is enjoyable but not serious (remember I go there for WORK. I am not a tourist looking for poor girls to take advantage of - by the way).
If you are looking for a good, simple, and yes, very beautiful woman to be loyal and loving forever - DR is a great spot. pssst - by pass the tourist areas where the working girls are (and they are EVERYWHERE). Go to Santiago up in the mountains, a city of 2 million, and just start meeting people. There are some agencies, but you don't need them at all. Another aspect of the female personality in the DR is that it exhibits great subordination to men - especially white men. It borders on slave- like obedience (This is a less accurate generalization of the entire area than that of simplicity; yet is largely valid nontheless. AND it is a little spooky.
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I know my expectations are too high. No "not ugly", 44 year old , white guy should have the balls to hope for what I am hoping for - yet I am. So for me the DR is enjoyable but not serious (remember I go there for WORK. I am not a tourist looking for poor girls to take advantage of - by the way).
I don't know exactly how high you have your expectations, but you had best be prepared to strike out if they are too far out of whack. The fact is the sky is NOT the limit. Take your shot but prepare to take a fallback position as well. I'm not trying to be a bummer just for the fun of it. I have been there...
Fathertime!
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rivardco:
At least you're honest
With respect, I think you have your priorities completely skewed. Marriages that result in families (chilren)are based on a variety of attributes and physical berauty is not the most crucial attribute for making a marriage to a latina work and flourish.
But, if you are a jugador (no value judgements leveled) and you're just looking to pad your list, well that's different.
Dennis
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YES. I am honest.
I am not a jagador (great word) ... or, perhaps I am.
No -
I AM a "GENTLEMAN in WAITING".
When a worthy women enters my environment, I see if she has what it takes to make me STOP all my "jagadoring". I have not found her yet.
But you have to agree, I am looking pretty darn hard:)
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I love to tell this story. I know an American guy, 38, commerical airline pilot, admits to being a member of three agencies and subscribes to at least 2 web dating sites. He likes to date colombianas who are 28 or younger and when he looks at an agency profile, he looks only at the photo. Once I sat next to him as he went through photos and when he found one he liked, I said OK, look at her (profile) for 30 seconds and after a half minute I turned his chair around (so he couldn't see the computer screen) and I asked him: "What does she do for a living? How does she describe hersefl? What is she looking for in a man? It was on the profile in English, he didn't bother to read it.
He whined to me that I hadn't given him enough time and I said: "Jesus Christ, you fly a flippin airplane with 300 passengers that you are responsible for. How many gauges and dials do you watch and remember at any one time?"
The point I tried to make (not too successfully--(because one of his latest ichicas s 19 years old) to my pilot friend is that his superficiality was hampering his efforts to " find a wife." But the guts of it is that he reallly wasn't interested in finding a wife because he didn't want to make decisions and take a chance on being hurt.
So when a man says "you have to admit, I'm looking hard", it doesn't resonate with me.
My friend is a jugador, a player (it doesn' t mean that he just wants to get laid although that is a big part of his agenda) But, he can't and won't commit to any woman, he just wants want to have fun and then he wants to analyzes endlessly.
He says that he wants to get married..."some day." But he isn't any closer after 7 years of looking for a latina , then he was on the first day he bought his first lifetime membership at an agency. I might add that he has been to Colombia at least 18 times and he doesn't speak a lick of Spanish.
Rivardco, his is called an illustrative example....
Dennis
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jmcooper,
I am glad you are enjoying chatting with the Peruana ladies.. There are some real good ladies out there.. PM me if I can help you in anyway...
singlefather
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Point well taken.
I was faithful through a 13 year relationship. I ALMOST jumped into another seriously relationship (rebound affect). I probably have only been psychologically "over that and ready for this" for the last 6 months.
There is a reason why we are here - loneliness.
For me the physical part of a relationship is cool, but not the whole story.
I am not going to blow my "do- over" because of NEED, UNCERTAINTY, or emotional impatience. This is a well thought out and hard fought position. One that I think s wiser than a one week wonder (at least for a guy in my position).
Similarly, and illustrative example:)
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There is a reason why we are here - loneliness.
...
I am not going to blow my "do- over" because of NEED, UNCERTAINTY, or emotional impatience.
Loneliness sounds an awful lot like neediness. I would say if a guy is lonely he should be VERY careful in relationships. Get some more friends, pick up some hobbies, or whatever, so you aren't lonely, then go at it.
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Loneliness sounds an awful lot like neediness. I would say if a guy is lonely he should be VERY careful in relationships. Get some more friends, pick up some hobbies, or whatever, so you aren't lonely, then go at it.
disagree....RIV is right, and he's being refreshingly honest. Wake up, look in the mirror; peel away the veneer that people use to hide themselves from others. There is a hole in a man's life that ONLY a tender-hearted woman can fill - an emptiness, vacuum...perhaps loneliness is an imprecise word but it's definitely there. That vacuum will be filled at the right time with the right person - using your head (see quote below). I will recognize when that 'right person' enters my life, because that vacuum (and those unmet needs) will have vanished.
"I am not going to blow my "do- over" because of NEED, UNCERTAINTY, or emotional impatience. This is a well thought out and hard fought position. One that I think s wiser than a one week wonder (at least for a guy in my position)."
RIV is also very smart and level headed. I adopted the exact same mindset some time ago; everything I have done is to make the best of the time and choices in front of me. And I have worked to put the BEST choices in front of me at the right time.
DayTrader
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I disagree. I view a good woman as adding something onto my life, not filling a hole. She's a bonus, not a necessity. We're born single.
I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm just saying look at what Riv wrote
"I was faithful through a 13 year relationship. I ALMOST jumped into another seriously relationship (rebound affect). I probably have only been psychologically "over that and ready for this" for the last 6 months.
There is a reason why we are here - loneliness."
He goes right from talking about how he is just getting over a relationship, almost had a bad rebound, then in the next sentence talks about loneliness driving him. Maybe he just mis-stated himself or I'm mis-construing him, but to me it sounds like he might still be on the rebound. Maybe he's not, but I thought I'd bring it to his attention.
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Now, this thread is starting to get interesting.
I think we're here, on this forum and we travel to CA or SA, not just becasue we're lonely. Many of us are trying o change things about our life re-invent ourselves and escape the pain that we have had in our pasts from failed relaationships or divorce(s), or death of loved ones, or our our own emotional issues and disorders.
And every man on this board has some kind of "issues." It doesn't mean that we are "losers", it means that there is something in each of us us that drives us SOTB or to other countries.
i think in LA and SA or the Caribbean, we come closest to feeling better about ourselves becasue our money goes further, women are more accessible and nicer, etc., the pace of life is slower, any number of reasons.
That is still a long way from a marriage to a latina. I think what many of us realize in time (and some of us never realize) is that marriage to a latina presents some of the same challenges of a relationship with an AW and in some ways even more challenges (revolving around culture and language, roles of mena and women, etc ).
If an American man tells me that he has been married and divorced three or four times and I've had a few of those conversations) and he thinks a marriage to a latina that is much younger then him is going to be the right one, then he is deluding himself." He needs to look at himself first.
Rivardco has talked about not blowing his do-over. i understand that. But love and marriage are the greatest compromises of all. We say that we want it all, but I think the more perceptive ones among us know we cnn't have it all.
For me a woman's heart and her intelligence is more important then her beauty. I don't date unattractive woman, but I do not want them to be "trophies." In time, the head of the 8 point buck mounted on the wall loses its luster and it is just another hunting story. And in time a woman loses her physcial beauty, or as Marlon Brando tells Maria Schniede rin last Tango in Paris..."in 10 years, you'll be playing soccer with your tits."
The fleash wrinkes and weakens, hopefully the heart and the mind endure longer.
FInally, someone talked about "whether we have holes that w eneed to fill." The obvious comment is yes, we want to fill a woman with our sperm, its a primal urge, but why not want to fill the hole in a woman's brain with our knowledge and her heart with our kindness and generosity of spirit and feeling of protectiveness?
Dennis
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Yes, I agree. This thread has become more interesting.
I did not "mis-speak", I "partially-spoke". Loneliness only speaks to one desire. There is also the desire of "purpose". This comes from the interest to start and have a family (I have not had any children of my own). There is also the socialized "completion" that comes from a good marriage. I suppose it is possible to be a self actualized single man - the monks do it - but it seems less purposeful and less complete than my image of the human experience. I am sure there are more, but these are the ones tha come to mind.
And Dennis, I complement you on your well groundedness.
*Esoteric Alert *
The internet accelerated the choice, identification (I used the word "prospecting" up-tread) a billion times more than what was possible 15 years ago. Which supplies us with a mechanism to locate subtleties in a human being that are nothing more than slight preferences (the kind of stuff that, in a different time, may go wholly unnoticed). Most of these slight preferences are physical, but not all: culture; age; religion; children; education level; occupation.
So, when you invest time and money opening up Pandora's box, possibilities expand. This strokes the ego naturally, because one finds more, not less. And it MAY be a good thing - what can be wrong with all of us finding EXACTLY what we seek. BUT ... I also wonder if it is just another trapping of the modern life. Maybe man was not supposed to have this scope of choice. I hate materialism and shopping! Maybe this is another exalted form of shopping? In the end, I know DL's sentiments are all that is true and lasting. Or, as true and lasting as we can know.
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i think in LA and SA or the Caribbean, we come closest to feeling better about ourselves becasue our money goes further, women are more accessible and nicer, etc., the pace of life is slower, any number of reasons.
...or maybe cuz you can't find what you're looking for anywhere else. A woman that has Faith, Kindness, Humility and Morals and with proper care and feeding they don't grow into a size 16.
Rivardco has talked about not blowing his do-over. i understand that. But love and marriage are the greatest compromises of all.
wow...I disagree....Love and Marriage is an "upgrade" not a compromise. Perhaps those that think that way should avoid the whole thing...
DayTrader
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I saw this google advert on a political website....Google wouldn't put that advertisement there if no one was buying it.
I just can imagine the look of females that visit this website seeing this web ad...I love it!
Way to go Colombiancupid.com !
DayTrader
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Rivardco, thank you for the kind words.
I think the Internet (as it applies to international dating) is a mixed blessing Of course, it gives us a myriad of choices, but I agree with you, it is a form of shopping, either the cyberversion of window shopping or if we take action and spend money for addresses, subscription to dating web sites, agency memberships, then it is definitley ishopping in the most commercial sense of the word.
Someone suggested that marriage is an "upgrade." (I assume un upgrade form single life. I don't agree, it's a different state then single life, possibly better, possibly not. For some men and women its an improvement or upgrade, and for some men and women, they have as much chance of a successful marriage as I do of playing centerfield for the Yankees. For them imarriage is not an upgrade, its a disaster.
Love and marriage are compromises. After we get over the first physcial infatuation of romantic love and we make committments that lead to marriage, that is where the compromise begins. Read the thread that fathertime started and you will discover that the first compromise 9that he struggles with) is to give up some of our individuality and our habits to make room for a woman in our life.
And the gorgeous latina (who is such a wild woman in bed) will eventually fart in bed or we will. or she will burn the toast or spend too much time on the phone talking with her family in Colombia. and what will we do...pout or forge a compromise. The whole nature of compromise is to recognize that no one ever gets 100% of what they want.
and its better to give up some things, get others and keep what we have built together.
Because of their issues about abandonment, trust and the macho attitudes that the latinos in their lives exhibit and their relative inexperience with probelm solving--the ability of latinas to understood that compromise is essential--when they marry an American man-is another part of the complexity of a cross cultural marriage.
Dennis
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Sure, there are compromises in marriage, but if marriage didn't add anything to your life, who the hell would ever get married? I'm fine with some give and take, but if I felt marriage to a woman wouldn't add on to my life in any way, why would I make such an enormous commitment?
I said a good woman adds on to your life. I meant to imply a woman that is a good fit for a guy. Obviously a bad woman can [snip] over a guy's life.
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What do you seek in a woman? As fare as going outside the American pool of women, these elements have taken on a new and important meaning to me:
1, Beauty
2, Honesty
3, Intellectual
4, Good Mother
5, Loyal Good Wife
6, Compatible cultural references (upbringing; family values)
7, Fashion and social grace
8, religious / superstitious (I have found superstition and atheism to surprising degrees)
9, Psychological tenancies (jealous; objective oriented to a point of coldness)
I hate to admit it, but we all must be honest until it hurts. Physical beauty is important to me - more important than I intellectually KNOW it should be. And my standards for what is beautiful have gotten too high to be healthy. (I'm working on it)
But it is not the only thing.
The DR has some incredibly beautiful women - mostly exotic mixed race beautiful; but some mulatto to the degree of white too.
I have not meet a woman on the entire island that could easily hold her own intellectually and socially in challenging environments that I frequent. I am aware of everything that is missing from both extremes, but I am seeking a person who can be comfortable in the simple and the complex.
Is it possible to draw a generalization for a country that has + 6 million? YES. I give an almost unqualified testimony that DR ladies are simple and primitive - in a sweet and human way! Like native American Indians.
I am hoping to find something more from Colombia and Brazil.
CASE IN POINT.
Today, I received the best letter yet from Latin American Cupid. When I say BEST I mean most descriptive and emotionalized. The kind of evidence you welcome and try to build upon. The originator was a RUSSIAN GIRL?!?!?!? :) I'm serious.
One thing that has become apparent to me in contrasting communicating with ladies from Colombia versus Eastern Europe is the depth of connection that is created in written correspondence. I am simply noting this point. I am not saying this is the END of the story. It MAY well be that after letters AND visits, the awareness and familiarity are entirely different in a manner that compliments the Latin American regions ... I'm just saying.
I know my expectations are too high. No "not ugly", 44 year old , white guy should have the balls to hope for what I am hoping for - yet I am. So for me the DR is enjoyable but not serious (remember I go there for WORK. I am not a tourist looking for poor girls to take advantage of - by the way).
If you are looking for a good, simple, and yes, very beautiful woman to be loyal and loving forever - DR is a great spot. pssst - by pass the tourist areas where the working girls are (and they are EVERYWHERE). Go to Santiago up in the mountains, a city of 2 million, and just start meeting people. There are some agencies, but you don't need them at all. Another aspect of the female personality in the DR is that it exhibits great subordination to men - especially white men. It borders on slave- like obedience (This is a less accurate generalization of the entire area than that of simplicity; yet is largely valid nontheless. AND it is a little spooky.
Hey Riv.,
Sounds like you know the DR pretty good and this may well be the place for you but I would suggest trying out SA.I was all over Mexico in the 90's and in Colombia in 98.After that I went to the Philippines and Korea but I returned to Colombia(can't help it, just love those latinas).I am glad that I went to other countries.The Philippines are awesome and so are the ladies there. I just happen to meet my special lady in Bogota.
You can find plenty of women that will have 1 thru 9 of the characteristics you are looking for, so, go south young man(and east and west).
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The off topic posts have been dumped into the flame room. Keep this one on topic please.
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Hey Riv.,
Sounds like you know the DR pretty good and this may well be the place for you but I would suggest trying out SA.I was all over Mexico in the 90's and in Colombia in 98.After that I went to the Philippines and Korea but I returned to Colombia(can't help it, just love those latinas).I am glad that I went to other countries.The Philippines are awesome and so are the ladies there. I just happen to meet my special lady in Bogota.
You can find plenty of women that will have 1 thru 9 of the characteristics you are looking for, so, go south young man(and east and west).
Oops, Why so much Colombia? You will find plenty of women there that will have 1 thru 9 of the characteristics you are looking for, so, go south young man!!!!
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Psst. Don't want to start a pissing match! so please only positive, brief, comments PLEASE.
1, I have played with online sites. My conclusion: too much volume, not enough quality. AND writing and chatting does not produce strong enough connections to justify a trip in and of themselves.
2, I have talked to Introductions by Consuelo: Very nice! But I am only interested in 1 or 2 ladies - and even then not very much, really.
3, I have not paid much attention to the slew of [snip] that sometimes flies about this agency or that one. But I have noticed that all these agencies go for the jugular and pitch a big ticket life time membership. I think it is likely that I would only want to meet a few ladies (less than 6-8) from any agency.
Obviously, there is benefit to using an agency for a visit. But I don't want a life membership. Like I already said, I seriously doubt I would USE any one agency very extensively.
I WOULD like to swing by Colombia in July. Any ideas? Thanks!
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It's a big country. I have been there 22 times. Each part has its own charm, What are your priorities and then you might get some good suggestions from us that have extensive experience in Colombia and Latin America in general on where and what would make your trip a good experience
KB
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Excellent question.
Decisions I have made have already place me in the Caribbean frequently (probably central American too beginning 2009) So, I have undertaken to learn the Latin Culture seriously. My Spanish was nothing at the beginning of this year; now it is something - "pequeno;" yet will grow throughout time. I am starting to learn Spanish faster now. I should be a descent beginner by Navidad.
Obviously, I noticed my heard whipping from one side to the other as soon as I started going to the Miami airport frequently. All these beautiful ladies come from somewhere!
The Latin American culture is far more bridgeable than my other great interest - women from the former soviet Union. I also can create business interests as I travel in Central America. It is convenient.
The women I have met in the Caribbean do not come close to the education and grace I look for in a serious partner. I imagine IF there is an alternative to New York, Prague, Bucharest, Kiev, in Central America, it would likely be the Capital of Columbia. (This is only my guess).
My immediate trip to Colombia would be an orientation trip. I already know there are tons of eligible women in Hungary, Romania that really turn me on. I am single and am looking for a serious partner out of the corner of my eye. When you are open to the world (as I am), half the solution is to define an area that has women you find physically attractive and for those women to have characteristics you believe are suitable for a long term relationship.
So, if you could kindly direct me to the Colombian phone book of super models that are also PHD candidates in the sciences and humanities ... I would be thankful:)
Seriously, my expectations are high. I know. It is a challenge, but I can pull it off with effort and sincerity. So I am less inclined to select 20 - 50 ladies out of a binder of 300.
In fact, my membership on the sister board, RussianWomenDiscussion is far longer than here, 2 years +. On that board, I met several freinds who introduced me to independent "agents". These guys -and gals - help people like me by working the normal dating sites in the various native origins (even in areas that are Stateside) I have also made freinds within these communities where I always get communications like "Hey Tim! Have you found your second half yet? If not, I know a great lady who is available." I think these kind of more natural connections are excellent. It would be great if my visit to Colombia could produce similar long term friendships.