Cost of this Adventure

[klz002]

Hey Guys (and Gals?)  -

On another thread it was pointed out to me that finding and marrying a woman from another country would cost me at least $10,000, and possibly up to $20,000!

Needless to say, I do not have a spare 20 grand lying around.   :cry:  

Why is this process so expensive?  If someone were to be limited to $5,000, could he still sucessfully meet and marry a foreign woman?  I'm new to this, and naive as hell, but I don't understand why the costs need be so high.

Without prying into your personal affairs, could any of you just give us a general explanation of how much money you spent, and why?

Also, any suggestions for keeping costs down would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

[Stephen]

$20,000.......I think you could get 2 or 3 women for that price.

I think I spent a total of $6,500. That was from start to finish. It included buying names of ladies to write, postage, my plane ticket to see Tess and then getting her to the USA including her airfare.

I went to see Tess for 10 days and that trip cost about $2,250.

I'm just a real tight-wad. But I think it can be done for $6,000.

Just my thoughts.

Stephen

[Bataanj]

You can do it for alot less than $10-20k., though alot of people do spend that much and more. It depends HOW you do it. First expenses will be a trip there. For 2 weeks expect about $2k-2.5k (ticket included). That's going  cheaper, but not  totaly cheap.

 After you hook up with someone, the costs vary. Like how much you send each month for her expenses. I sent none, while engaged, got her a good job instead. After getting married there (civil ceremony, MUCH cheaper than a church), I sent around $100 a month. I took another trip there while waiting for her to get spousal visa. Another 2k. Then her ticket here, about 1k.

 It's all spread over time, so you don't need that money all in the bank now. At the very minimum, you need to save money for your initial trip.
I suggest just going there. MAYBE with two or 3 penpals in mind. Maybe just one or none.

 My advice is go there, meet ladies, get to know the place and people. If you find a girl, don't "fall in love" right away unless your sure. There's a whole country of babes just dying to meet you. Relax. Also if you do meet miss right, don't buy her laptops , AWACS aircraft and the like while your gone. A simple cell phone is cheaper. Don't take the whole Barangay out to dinner every night. Spend enough on familiy to be nice, but don't spoil them. Or your girl. Most gals and thier families want a church wedding, I did too, my wife said too expensive.  Lucky me! That cost a bundle. See if you can do a civil ceromoney, then maybe a church wedding after a couple of years of you two saving here. If the family can deal with that.

 I did my thing different than most and don't recommend my way.   However, my older brother did the penpal thing and spent only a few thousand. He had the church wedding with invitations, souvineers, the whole bit. The whole town was there, and it was nice, very nice, but not too expensive.

 Do alot of research first. Get many different opinions and experiences.

 The cost is spread over time, so just keep your job.

Take Care,
Jay

P.S.- My stepdaughter 's expenses were the most. About $7,000 total. Inluding tickets, back and forth, for me, and my wife, sending her allowance, hotels, cabs etc. phone bills calling the Embassy 3 times a week, paperwork fee's, couple of small local bribes, and of course her ticket. Now THAT was a nightmare! Oh, and BTW, take my word for it, the US Ambassador cannot be bribed. Anyway, as I found out, he can't speed up the process, he has nothing to do with immigration.

[Jeff S]

Stephen speaks the truth - He is a tightwad.    

This is about as cheap or as expensive as you make. it. We used to have a member who hitchhiked to the airport and didn't mind sleeping with the donkeys in the stable behind his girlfriend's parent's house. I, on the other hand, prefer to ride in the front of the plane, don't eat fast food, and insist on staying in places where they've at least got control of the cucaracha problem. But all of that is acedemic. Truth is, if you can't see your way to spending an extra ten grand a year or so, you probably shouldn't consider get married until you're doing better. Don't forget the real expenses start AFTER she arrives, not in finding her and getting her here - that's the cheapest part of the whole thing.

- Jeff

[Stephen]

Hey Jeff......let's do lunch soon.  

Stephen & Tess

[Ray]

Hey Stephen,

If you take him to lunch at Costco for the "Lawyer's Special", I think you can still get a great hot dog and drinks for a buck and a half.

Just kidding man...

[Jeff S]

Sure Stephen - so long as you let me buy.

- Jeff

[pulpit]

Ouch....10-20K?? Those numbers would of stopped me in my tracks. I think 10K is maybe what i spent but it wasn't all at one time. Yes, I did have to work overtime and at one point was working two jobs. They say this adventure is not for the faint of heart and thats true.  It takes some effort and emailing gals is fun but if you are serious then for your average middle-class dude then , yeah , there is some real commitment invloved. It's like alot of things. If you look at the big picture it seems insurmountable. But taken one step at a time it is easier to deal. Good luck

[Jeff S]

You guys are making it sound like opening a margin options account, where you have to deposit 10 grand before you can start trading. These expenses come slowly, over time. First it's a hundred or so buying addresses, sending mail back and forth, taking pictures, etc. Than it's a couple grand or so planning a trip, then more mailing, then paperwork and filing fees, then a couple grand for a wedding, then much later, maybe 18 months or more, it's time to pony up for her trip over. Heck, I know guys who spend more than that on cigarettes, ammo, pool tables, and beer.  Learn to reload, set up a still in the back yard - there are all sorts of ways to economize.

- Jeff

[Bataanj]

I, on the other hand, prefer to ride in the front of the plane, don't eat fast food, and insist on staying in places where they've at least got control of the cucaracha problem.

LMMFAO!!

 I prefer the very front

[Jonnie]

Hey Stephen,

If you take him to lunch at Costco for the "Lawyer's Special", I think you can still get a great hot dog and drinks for a buck and a half.

Just kidding man...

Same thing at Sam's Club!  Was just thre last week!!

Yum!

Jonnie

[Beattledog]

you are probably correct on the total cost

Beattledog

[Montrealer]

My experience and costs.  (Bare in mind that my trip was to South America)


Agency - $500
First trip to Colombia (11/2005) - $2500
Second trip to Colombia (12/2005-01/2006) - $2500
Added Xmas gifts for family - $500
Engagement ring - $3500
Third trip to Colombia (03/2006) - $2000
* Wedding Costs - $5000
English school for her - $1200
* French University (upon arrival) - $800
Immigration lawyer - $5000
* Honeymoon San Andres (06/2006) - $2500
* Fourth trip to Colombia (04/2006) - $2000
* Fifth trip to Colombia wedding (06/2006) - $2500
* Her return airfare (07/2006) - $1200

* = Anticipated costs

Anticipated total from meeting to her getting off the plane in Canada would be about $31 700.00 CDN dollars ($28 000 USD).  I didn't include telephone calls which are about $150 month for me.

Bare in mind, that I don't travel first class, but I do enjoy alot of the finer things when I travel, and being the owner of my business, I can travel alot more than I had to, so the costs could have come down on total trips taken.

Then you have the expenses after her arrival.

* New wardrobe - $2500
* New english school - $1000
* And cost of living increase - $?

Now all these costs are not to be paid all at once, so I think realistically a guy who makes about 60K a year could do it if he has no savings, and lives frugal throughout this process.  However these costs can double or triple if you don't find the right person, or you think you did and you find out later on that she wasn't.  If you can't afford it, then do not use credit to get what you seek.  Many marriages fail nowdays because of financial reasons, so you don't want to start your marriage off in debt.

[Jeff S]

Well, most people, me included, don't use an attorney, and my wife took English Adult School for practically nothing, plus her father sprung for the wedding overseas, but the cost of living increase was a far greater expense then I ever imagined, and made the courting ritual look like chump change.

- Jeff

[Humabdos]

($28 000 USD

Ok Maybe you do deserve to be the real Homer Simpson!

Hum

[Montrealer]

Jeff,
What were the major cost of living increases that you noticed?  I anticipate my living cost to increase about 20%.  Would you think that's a fair judgement?

[doombug]

5,000 bones for an immigration attorney??

If that is an accurate figure, it's both inflated and wasteful spending. (No offense.)

I did my own K-visa paperwork, times 3 (for wife and two kids), and no document was ever returned for being incomplete.  All three petitions were later approved.

The only aid I'd used was VisaJourney (http://www.visajourney.com/).  (To download forms; monitor timelines and recent BCIS changes; follow people's success stories; etc.)

No need to burn money on unnecessary expenses.  As far as the other inflated costs, if you have to spoil a woman to win (or buy :lol: ) her heart, imagine how much more you'll have to spend later when she arrives to keep that spoiled heart content.

To each his own, I guess.

By the way, here are  a few sample quotes from immigration attorneys found online:

K-1 visa:  $600 (+ $170 for USCIS fee)
K-3 visa:  $500 (+ $360 for USCIS fee)
http://www.usavisanow.com/immigrationservicesprices.htm

K-1 visa:  $1,200 (+ $110 for "government" fee)
K-3 visa:  $3,000 (+ $545 for "government" fee)
http://www.immigration2us.com/

K-1 visa:  $1,250 (not including USCIS fee)
K-3 visa:  $1,700 (not including USCIS fees or AOS fees)
http://www.k1fianceevisas.com/fees.html

K-1 visa:  $1,100 (+ $165 for USCIS fee)
K-3 visa:  $1,400 (+ $350 for USCIS fee)
http://www.american-visas.net/pricing_information.htm

K-1 visa:  $995 (+ USCIS fee)
K-3 visa:  $995 (+ $295 for AOS fee; + USCIS fee)
http://www.ruthlaw.com/fees.htm

K-1 visa:  $1,100 (+ $165 for USCIS fee)
http://1-800-4030-law.com/introduction.asp

[Montrealer]

Doom,
Just to let you know, I'm from Canada, so we have different forms and workloads to do.  However, I do think my lawyer overcharged me, as he was a referral from my business lawyer who is very well payed.

The lawyers work includes the following;

Application to school for french class (McGill)
Validation from Quebec of schools acceptance letter
Student Visa application (with unlimited extension applications)
Sponsorship application
Sponsorship interview assistance
All government and shipping fees included


So, since the government costs are about $2200, the lawyer is making about $2800 profit.  For me it's well worth it since I don't have to do anything and either does she since he will be acting as our power of attorney through the whole process.

I could have done everything by myself, since I did everything with my first wife from Mexico in a simular process.  However, it was a huge pain in the ass and I don't want the added headaches again.

Here's where I get upset.  You say;

As far as the other inflated costs, if you have to spoil a woman to win (or buy  ) her heart, imagine how much more you'll have to spend later when she arrives to keep that spoiled heart content.

To each his own, I guess.

Nowhere in my price breakdown do I mention anything about spoiling my fiancee to win or buy her heart.  

If you are referring to the engagement ring at $3500, then what would you have said about my first wife's ring costing $14000.  I think I got off cheap, and the only reason I went cheaper was because she said she didn't like big gawdy rings, so I kept it at a half carat.

If you are talking about my several trips to Colombia to see her, then I don't know why that's such a bad thing.  I enjoy spending time with her and I don't think of her as my property.  We enjoy eachothers company, and since I'm 28, successful, I have alot of time that I can take off and travel.

Was it the Xmas gifts that made you make the comment?  There was her, 3 siblings and her parents, plus an aunt and grandfather.  When I think about it, I probably spent closer to $1000 on Xmas gifts.  Maybe alot for them, but again much less than what I've spent on past relationships.

Or maybe your talking about my honeymoon in San Andres.  I enjoy beaches and beautiful weather, so if anyone is getting spoiled, it's me.

Here's the difference between alot of men and me.  Alot of men go down bragging about the life they lead, then once they marry, they bring them back home, only to leave the girl dissappointed and let down.  I, don't talk about money or posessions ever.  In fact I downplay considerably what I make and my lifestyle.

So, in the future, when you make a comment about one person inparticular, make sure you know what you're talking about.

[doombug]

This thread was originally about whether or not getting hitched abroad could be done inexpensively.  

It can be done much more frugally than you've portrayed.

[Jeff S]

Yes, your 20% cost of living increase is probably OK for starters, but depending on her and her ability to understand budgeting, it could be quite a bit higher. Necessities for men (beer, bait, ammo, etc) are a lot more inexpensive than necessities for women (shoes, cosmetics, truckloads of paper goods, etc.)  in my experience. Lots of things that used to cost a lot, like phone calls, are now very inexpensive. When I was first married, her phone calls back home were about $1 a minute. Now they're 9 cents.

- Jeff

[Montrealer]

She actually keeps asking me if she can make any small purchases.  I keep telling her to do whatever she needs fit.  I remember one time she asked if she could use $5000 pesos to buy a pair of shoes, and my reply was "There's shoes for $5000 pesos?".  I think she's fairly good on a budget, if anything I'm the one who has trouble.

As for my costs including bait and ammo, I think I'll save there.  Hunting, fishing and killing aren't my past times.  I prefer electronics, restaurants, and clothing.  But the beer will probably go up, as she can handle herself pretty well around a 12 pack.