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« Last post by mambocowboy on May 30, 2022, 05:15:06 PM »
You're right. Nothing in life seems to be "one size fits all" and forever doesn't seem to be what it used to be either. For every time I might have jabbed members here, I'll admit I had thoughts like "My, wouldn't THAT be fun!!" and "Hmmm, I'd have liked to have been a fly on the wall with that one" Playing it safe is "really" full on vicarious fun, but living in a "safe zone" all your life sort of ends up with your life reading like a piece of white bread.
Somewhere between the safe and the danger zones are lives enriched. My most vivid memories are of unusual events, women and places and you can't edit them and just as well. If I had to, I'd pull some plays out of my old "play book" again and try and adjust to the newer ones. Life throws curves, sinkers, fast balls and knuckle balls, but you gotta really watch the curves and adjust accordingly.
Life in the USA, the media here and more, seemingly wants to neuter men. At least my wife doesn't buy into all that B.S. Her media preferences, especially music, are 99% from her culture, as well as Korean soap operas. It's not interesting to me, but it gives me ample time to do 'my' things.
Still she can't 'unsee' that always lighted highway billboard prompting women to call 1-800-DIVORCE....
Haha if you think divorce is marketed we'll try living in California lol. My wife and I made it to 10 years married a few weeks back despite numerous haters. To them I salute with my big gringo middle finger....
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You're right. Nothing in life seems to be "one size fits all" and forever doesn't seem to be what it used to be either. For every time I might have jabbed members here, I'll admit I had thoughts like "My, wouldn't THAT be fun!!" and "Hmmm, I'd have liked to have been a fly on the wall with that one" Playing it safe is "really" full on vicarious fun, but living in a "safe zone" all your life sort of ends up with your life reading like a piece of white bread.
Somewhere between the safe and the danger zones are lives enriched. My most vivid memories are of unusual events, women and places and you can't edit them and just as well. If I had to, I'd pull some plays out of my old "play book" again and try and adjust to the newer ones. Life throws curves, sinkers, fast balls and knuckle balls, but you gotta really watch the curves and adjust accordingly.
Life in the USA, the media here and more, seemingly wants to neuter men. At least my wife doesn't buy into all that B.S. Her media preferences, especially music, are 99% from her culture, as well as Korean soap operas. It's not interesting to me, but it gives me ample time to do 'my' things.
Still she can't 'unsee' that always lighted highway billboard prompting women to call 1-800-DIVORCE....
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« Last post by Calipro on May 30, 2022, 09:12:53 AM »
After my wife and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary last winter, a gal who went thru the whole fiancee visa, come to USA, get married scenario with my wife commented: "Congratulations, I'm happy for you, but out of all our "batchmates" who passed thru embassy approval, you're the only couple still together." I think that was 15, maybe 20 couples. Damn, that made me think!!
I think it depends on what your definition of success is. I have married and divorced three colombian women. But I don't think I would have been happier never having gone to Colombia. Plenty of guys would be down right miserable in your shoes....or mine for that matter.
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After my wife and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary last winter, a gal who went thru the whole fiancee visa, come to USA, get married scenario with my wife commented: "Congratulations, I'm happy for you, but out of all our "batchmates" who passed thru embassy approval, you're the only couple still together." I think that was 15, maybe 20 couples. Damn, that made me think!!
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I totally respect that.
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« Last post by Calipro on May 28, 2022, 12:02:59 AM »
As I recall, you once said you don't plan on sticking around past age 80, so maybe thats part of your mindset. I've been with the same woman almost 20 years and it's been very, very good. I am grateful--if I get another 20, it's all upside. Grateful isn't to be confused with being soft or stupid. I'm glad my pension's more than protected--it can only go up. My SS is mine, as long as I live. I increasingly prefer fixed assets-- futures, more than immediately liquefiable ones. I've had my clock cleaned financially in an economic crash, as well as in a divorce before--so it's not like I'm naive.
But I'm going be totally objective, my wife has done a helluva a lot for me, in every dept.--more than my sons have or ever will do. As I get older and see where real loyalty and devotion has come from, my inclination is to leave my wife more, and my children less. Just rewards/desserts. She cares and adds value--my sons--who she helped raise, are successful, but they really don't give a sh!t about me, or their mom & stepmom, although we've given them the world. And as smart as they are--they don't realize how if they played their game different, they could probably eventually retire by age 40. Oh well, one day they'll learn.
I'm up from Georgia and in Michigan for 10 days to give my sisters a break, as they care for my ailing father--handling a multitude of difficult situations every week, bringing in excellent caretakers to help---they do sooo much. Then I'll spend a month in Asia--then back to Michigan to help, mix duty and please--enjoy "The Detroit Dream Cruise Week" and visit family. Honestly, I probably don't 'have to' to secure an inheritance, as I am already aware of the structure--but it's the 'right' thing to do. Someday, a lot of money will come our way--after he passes--may it be a long time from now. And if it somehow didn't materialize?--I'd still be OK.
I'm careful with protecting my overall financial situation, but there ought to be enough for all of us--if my wife left, I'd hate it--but I'd still keep the home--I'd have to arrange an excellent cook/house keeper etc. If I wanted another boat, sportscar--a club membership, no problem. But I'd sure as hell miss her!!
I suppose it's easier to make plans [just in case]--when you feel that women as partners are readily replaceable--until you meet one you really feel can't be replaced--when she's THAT good.
Your approach sounds rather Machiavellian to me. I imagine she doesn't read this (like who does anymore?) but I wouldn't want my wife to know I was 'front loading' a future that could quite possibly turn quite negative. My wife knows my pension and future SS are shielded. She knows the equity in our home was largely established with funds I had before we wed. Not 'common' property. So it is what it is--no pulled punches or potential time bombs--yet our happiness--our futures, are intrinsically intertwined.
In my experience, you mix blood and money and things often turn out different than 'planned.' Perhaps such 'planning' works in Colombian mindsets--but it sounds to me as if you might be more valuable dead than alive, especially before that child reaches adulthood. You seem to be confident--sounds like using you're using your child to 'hedge your bet', but there or here, I'd watch my back if I were you. I hope that little girl grows up with values that unfortunately seem increasingly uncommon today. As one Scotsman, Robert Burns said:
Robert Burns: “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men. Gang aft a-gley”. Or to translate, the best laid plans of mice and men can still go wrong.
Well so far things are going as planned....but it hasn't been easy. My wife prefers life in Colombia... as do I. But this isn't about just me anymore....it's about my daughter. And I have to remind my wife of that repeatedly...unfortunately. But it does seem to be sinking in a bit. in a few days my wife and daughter will be going back to Colombia to visit her mom. She can stay until the first week of Aug. because that's when my daughter goes back to school. It will be interesting to see if she stays right to the end or comes back a little early....it is possible that she won't come back at all but she says that won't happen. Unfortunately there are other women that I actually like better than my wife......but my wife gave me my child so she is here and they are not. Like I said before..... if my wife didn't have my child I wouldn't be married.....it's just the reality of the situation. But obviously I'm happier to be living with my wife and child than I would be living with any other woman I can think of and that is simply because I love my child more than anything else on the planet. But yeah.... my wife would be easily replaceable if she wasn't the mother of my daughter. The funny thing is you really can't disinherit your children in Colombia.....by law all of your property goes to your children equally at death. If you have a will you can by law only give 20 percent of your property to someone other than your children. My mother and father where both married five times and I always knew I was more important to them than any of their spouses including when they were married to each other. I can't say that I have had any real first hand experiences with relationships..... where the wife or husband was more important than the children....but I understand that does happen. I just can't see myself ever loving a wife (or any woman) more than my child....even if the child disowned me. My child loving me isn't a requirement. Only that I love them. Most guys find out too late in life that the only woman that has ever truly loved them unconditionally was their mother and if they are lucky their children as well.
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I think it is important for guys to know that you can minimize the legal obligations to a wife in the USA with proper planning because I see I lot of guys that never plan on marrying or even having children for that very reason.
If I divorce my wife gets no more than she has now and even less if we divorce in the next 10 years because she won't qualify for child in care benefits nor my social security pension after I die....unless of course I happen to die before we are divorced. Hope that doesn't happen. jajaja
All my real property is in an irrevocable trust for my daughter and all of my life insurance pays out to that trust as well....except for a policy that I have though my retirement plan for 125K that will go to my wife.
It isn't that I don't love my wife.....but rather I love my children a lot more. The wife will have to be very nice to my daughter if she is to get any real money down the line.
As I recall, you once said you don't plan on sticking around past age 80, so maybe thats part of your mindset. I've been with the same woman almost 20 years and it's been very, very good. I am grateful--if I get another 20, it's all upside. Grateful isn't to be confused with being soft or stupid. I'm glad my pension's more than protected--it can only go up. My SS is mine, as long as I live. I increasingly prefer fixed assets-- futures, more than immediately liquefiable ones. I've had my clock cleaned financially in an economic crash, as well as in a divorce before--so it's not like I'm naive. But I'm going be totally objective, my wife has done a helluva a lot for me, in every dept.--more than my sons have or ever will do. As I get older and see where real loyalty and devotion has come from, my inclination is to leave my wife more, and my children less. Just rewards/desserts. She cares and adds value--my sons--who she helped raise, are successful, but they really don't give a sh!t about me, or their mom & stepmom, although we've given them the world. And as smart as they are--they don't realize how if they played their game different, they could probably eventually retire by age 40. Oh well, one day they'll learn. I'm up from Georgia and in Michigan for 10 days to give my sisters a break, as they care for my ailing father--handling a multitude of difficult situations every week, bringing in excellent caretakers to help---they do sooo much. Then I'll spend a month in Asia--then back to Michigan to help, mix duty and please--enjoy "The Detroit Dream Cruise Week" and visit family. Honestly, I probably don't 'have to' to secure an inheritance, as I am already aware of the structure--but it's the 'right' thing to do. Someday, a lot of money will come our way--after he passes--may it be a long time from now. And if it somehow didn't materialize?--I'd still be OK. I'm careful with protecting my overall financial situation, but there ought to be enough for all of us--if my wife left, I'd hate it--but I'd still keep the home--I'd have to arrange an excellent cook/house keeper etc. If I wanted another boat, sportscar--a club membership, no problem. But I'd sure as hell miss her!! I suppose it's easier to make plans [just in case]--when you feel that women as partners are readily replaceable--until you meet one you really feel can't be replaced--when she's THAT good. Your approach sounds rather Machiavellian to me. I imagine she doesn't read this (like who does anymore?) but I wouldn't want my wife to know I was 'front loading' a future that could quite possibly turn quite negative. My wife knows my pension and future SS are shielded. She knows the equity in our home was largely established with funds I had before we wed. Not 'common' property. So it is what it is--no pulled punches or potential time bombs--yet our happiness--our futures, are intrinsically intertwined. In my experience, you mix blood and money and things often turn out different than 'planned.' Perhaps such 'planning' works in Colombian mindsets--but it sounds to me as if you might be more valuable dead than alive, especially before that child reaches adulthood. You seem to be confident--sounds like using you're using your child to 'hedge your bet', but there or here, I'd watch my back if I were you. I hope that little girl grows up with values that unfortunately seem increasingly uncommon today. As one Scotsman, Robert Burns said: [size=78%] [/size] Robert Burns: [/color] “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men. Gang aft a-gley”. Or to translate, the best laid plans of mice and men can still go wrong.
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I have no idea why this site, which is so dead would ban anyone.
Having said that, I think I contributed to that "Awesome" character getting banned a while ago
Sometimes the immature psychotic personal attacks got really out of control.
Maybe thats the other reason it got to be dead.
That guy was really bizarre. I can usually 'read' people fairly well, but that guy really was hard to figure. For all his bluster, bragging and talks of trips abroad, I think he had maybe a marginal job and really did live in his grandma's basement. Never saw When you lead a pretty minimal existence and have a loose screw already, it's probably kind of satisfying to create some 'persona' -- then try and reinforce it by trying to get others to think it's true, and attack anyone who might question it. Even at that--he was even more unusual than just the regular, disgruntled low life, because I don't recall him trying to make alliances with anybody--he hardly tried to butter me--or anyone up. In that regard, he was different than Bernard. If you spoke to both separately via personal messaging, Bernard dropped most of the facade but "Awesome" hardly did. That and his 'bromance' with football player JJ Watt, and his MILF fascination, left me with the impression that he wasn't open to changing his stripes anytime soon. A legend if only in his own mind.
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And for years I appeared to be banned now I can log on. Wonder of wonders. Yes let's get some discussion going. I've been a resident since 2002, first in the city of Cali then moved to a finca on the outskirts.
I also posted as Buenopues after being banned as Cali-vet.
I have no idea why this site, which is so dead would ban anyone. Having said that, I think I contributed to that "Awesome" character getting banned a while ago Sometimes the immature psychotic personal attacks got really out of control. Maybe thats the other reason it got to be dead.
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« Last post by Calipro on May 26, 2022, 01:17:35 PM »
She will some how have to manage on social security survivor benefits of about 4500 between her and my daughter....both houses are paid for even though they are still in a trust ...she can live in or rent them out ....at 18 may daughter could move the property out of the trust and sell them or just kick my wife out if she wants.
She can work also
How will she survive until then should you die still happily married?
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