Medellin (Back Again)

[michaelb]

Many people will tell you that a prenuptial agreement with a foreign spouse isn't worth the paper it is written on. Although I've never had one, I'm inclined to agree with them. I've heard they often wind up with the judge throwing them out because "You took advantage of her not understanding our laws and customs, not to mention her lack of language skills and she signed it without understanding what rights she was giving up and/or she signed it under duress (as in sign this or I won't marry you and you'll have to go back).

At the very least, have her represented by an attorney fluent in her native language that specialises in family law and that she agrees she is comfortable working with. Naturally, you pay for your attorney and hers as well.


Your millage may vary, and other people may tell you differently.

[Calipro]

Many people will tell you that a prenuptial agreement with a foreign spouse isn't worth the paper it is written on. Although I've never had one, I'm inclined to agree with them. I've heard they often wind up with the judge throwing them out because "You took advantage of her not understanding our laws and customs, not to mention her lack of language skills and she signed it without understanding what rights she was giving up and/or she signed it under duress (as in sign this or I won't marry you and you'll have to go back).

At the very least, have her represented by an attorney fluent in her native language that specialises in family law and that she agrees she is comfortable working with. Naturally, you pay for your attorney and hers as well.


Your millage may vary, and other people may tell you differently.

A prenup is certainly worth doing....but there are things to watch out for.


http://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2013/04/02/five-reasons-your-prenup-might-be-invalid/


Reason number five on the list is the most important to watch out for if you have children and the number one reason prenups get set aside.

[InnocentVixen]

have her represented by an attorney fluent in her native language that specialises in family law and that she agrees she is comfortable working with. Naturally, you pay for your attorney and hers as well.

Sounds reasonable to me.


One detail I didn't mention, is that while I had no problem with it, if I had gone through that I would have asked my husband not to mention it and I wouldn't tell my family.


The attitude towards them here is "if he doesn't trust you enough then he shouldn't be marrying you" but as you know in my country the guy does not end up penniless after divorce, alimony is really more of a suggestion than a rule and guys that just ignore it along with their children tend to be ignored back so as you can see, not exactly needed in the first place.


The only reason I am ok with them is because I have heard the horror stories of divorce in the USA first hand and know what men are worried about. I would be worried about it too if I was them and my aim was never to get their money so it doesn't affect me.

[benjio]

Sounds reasonable to me.


One detail I didn't mention, is that while I had no problem with it, if I had gone through that I would have asked my husband not to mention it and I wouldn't tell my family.


The attitude towards them here is "if he doesn't trust you enough then he shouldn't be marrying you" but as you know in my country the guy does not end up penniless after divorce, alimony is really more of a suggestion than a rule and guys that just ignore it along with their children tend to be ignored back so as you can see, not exactly needed in the first place.


The only reason I am ok with them is because I have heard the horror stories of divorce in the USA first hand and know what men are worried about. I would be worried about it too if I was them and my aim was never to get their money so it doesn't affect me.

Wow! IV, as many women in the U.S. as I've tried to explain this issue to exactly the same way you did in this post, I can honestly say you're the only woman I've ever encountered that shares my point of view. Kudos to you! Woody is a lucky man.

[Elexpatriado]

Thats why you leave your wife in Colombia (for Example) and your assets in North America.. despite what Dick Dickerson and his Dickheads andsome BSin' Colombia Lawyers say, theres Nuthin' a woman in Colombia can do (at least in the remotest practical sense) to get at your North American assets. I know guys who have married several olombian women, and dont worry, cuz they dont invest a Nickel i Clombia , and keep thier assets in North America,
 

http://www.planet-love.com/index.php?topic=7123.msg101275#msg101275

Try putting 'prenup'--that's what I did there, and prenuptial, etc. into the search window and see what you can get.

Keep in mind that the laws are not only very different in each state, but that they can also change over time. I spoke to several excellent attorneys and they each told me not to waste my time in my state/city. A couple said that if I really, really insisted and wanted to waste my time (and money), they'd charge me and write one up, but that it'd be basically useless or worse yet, it could backfire on me.

Some also told me horror stories about marrying someone considerably younger and bringing her into the USA, but I think we all know how the minefields are laid once you're on USA soil. I think one bit of common sense applicable in most jurisdictions is that if you're thinking you might need or will otherwise end up buying another house, do it before you wed. Hate to sound negative, but if you buy one after and have rolled considerable equity into the new, more expensive house, typically all of that is subject to 50-50 division as 'community property' even if you have a prenup.

Even with a state where prenups are valid, if it comes to 'that', you will likely still face a battle on assets, values accrued after the marriage. Win or lose in court, unless she's already well off, you'll probably pay the legal bills for both sides.

Assigned judges are  'luck of the draw' and have an awful lot of discretionary power. Even if you think your state's prenup laws are pretty solid, they can pull that rug out from under your feet pretty fast, especially if you've had kids together and she looks like a sympathetic character to the court.

Everyone looks at things differently, but some take a harsh look at prenups, seeing them as  "negotiating the divorce before the marriage."