Chongqing trip

[KenC]

Every major shopping area has a Starbucks here and a KFC.  KFC is so popular in China, that the Chonese stores generate more profit for KFC than all the American stores!

[jm21-2]

Japan has excellent bacon and sausage, but I usually go for the Japanese breakfasts, aji himono (dried fish) or Mentaiko (spicy cod roe,) poached egg, rice, pickled vegetables and miso soup.


In China I mostly opted for Chinese dishes for breakfasts - shu-mai, duck, and such, though I don't care for congee, the local favorite. I stayed in one nice hotel with a great western and Chinese buffet every morning. Didn't even glance at the Western offerings.


China has horrible coffee, while Japan has excellent, in my experience.

My one breakfast buffet in Japan was pretty amazing. There was some sort of stew that was just ridiculously tasty, and this was basically the cheapest hotel I could find.


If we're talking China/Taiwan, I always think of baozi at breakfast. The ones I had in China were not as good as in Taiwan but what a great food for breakfast. Never had them in a buffet but they always seemed readily available on the street.

[KenC]

Day 3- I munched some leftover food in the morning while Ping slept.  I don’t mean to make it sound like she is a princess, sleeping until noon.  It is just that I am a very early riser and she was on a more normal time clock.  I was happy when she told me that she was going to eat at the hotel buffet while I got ready.  She returned in a few minutes when she found out it wasn’t free.  Oh geez, here we go.  Rather than trying to explain to her that the cost of her breakfast wasn’t that big of a deal. I just picked up the phone and began ordering room service.  Ping became upset that I was spending money for her breakfast, grabbed the phone from me and canceled what I had just ordered.  We had one other disagreement involving me spending money on her which happened later in the day.  I don’t think this is such a bad thing at all.
 
Ping is tight with her money and never wants to over pay for anything.  There were a number of times when she tried to convince me not to tip.  It became almost a game to me after a while.  Like at the hotel with the guy chasing down a taxi for us.  Ping insisted I did not tip him.  The guy came to understand that no matter what Ping said, I still was going to give him a 5 RMB or a 10RMB on the down low.  Come on, 75 cents or a buck and a half?  I respect Ping’s attitude regarding money; I am just not going to change who I am completely.  I actually thought about some of the stories I read on this forum where guys were making decisions on whether to trust the foreign woman or if she was taking advantage of them.  That was never a question in my mind.  I knew who Ping was before I came.  In fact, I gave her the majority of my Chinese currency to hold and to pay as we went.  I caught her trying to pay from her own money a few times until we came to an understanding that our expenses were to come from my money alone.
 
Again, I was not very clear as to what plans Ping had made for the day but just went with the flow.  We took a cab to a beautiful square surrounded by beautiful stores and buildings with shopping malls. We met Ping’s older sister there.  Ping also has an older brother that I did not meet because he lives in another city.  I never got to know Ping’s sisters name because Ping always referred to her as “sister.”  I suspect that Ping and her sister are not too close.  The sister drove Ping nuts by constantly calling and trying to hook up with us.  A few times I had to explain (as best I could) that Ping should not be upset as her sisters actions were in Ping’s best interest.  The idea of Ping’s friends and family trying to spend time with us put some pressure on Ping.  I met a lot of her friends and family.  Once we met, they all wanted to spend more time with us.  I was flattered, but Ping had to do the juggling act to try to please everyone as well as please us.  The pressure built more intense day by day as I met more people.  Finally on the night before my last day, I told Ping that I did not want to spend time with anyone but her.
 
Back to the shopping square. … I spotted a Starbucks and ran to purchase some of their Via instant coffee.  Not bad for instant.  Later I picked up a small jar of Creamora and I was set for my morning coffee.  When I returned to Ping and her sister, more of Ping’s friends had shown up.  Unbeknown to me, Ping had set up a big lunch with her friends for us.  All told there were about 14 people that attended.  After some debate, we ended up at a rather nice seafood buffet in an air conditioned shopping mall.  I could tell the food was upscale but much different than my norm.  Shrimp with heads, full bodied crawfish and small crabs all lined up perfectly on ice along with other unknown creepy crawly things.  Hmmmm.  I went for the sushi.  One of Ping’s friends had a cute 13 year old daughter that spoke decent English and Wang was there so I was not entirely out of the loop.
 
The young girls mother Tashnet, I came to find out, was a rather dynamic business woman.  She was a sales rep for a number of construction material companies.  With all the construction in Chongqing, I am sure she is doing quite well.  Her daughter is coming to the US in September to study English for 6 months.  I was told the cost of it was $6,000 US dollars.  The car Ping used to pick me up also belonged to Tashnet.  The couple next to me owned one of companies that Tashnet represented.  These people CHOWED DOWN.  I got a great kick out of them running back and forth for more food.  The biggest eaters by far were Wang and the young girl.  I made many jokes about the two smallest eating the most. 
 
I took a break to wash my hands and have a smoke.  As I was smoking, I noticed the sign at the entrance to the restaurant.  What I could make out was the cost of the buffet was 150RMB per person.  Holy sh!t.  By my math this was a $300+ dinner.  I didn’t know if I had enough cash to cover it.  I pulled the one English speaking server aside to see if they took Mastercard.  The answer was “no.”  I said nothing and returned to the table to see how this played out.  At the end of the lunch, I discreetly motioned to Ping with my money.  All I got in return was “no, no, no.”  We left the restaurant and still today I have no idea who paid for the lunch.
 
That evening Ping took me to yet another shopping square.  It was so very cool.  Bright lights flashing every where and like most squares, a gigantic TV with rotating commercials.  There was also some very good music playing throughout.  Tons of people and finely manicured park like landscaping dotted the area.  It was almost festival like.  Even I could get into shopping in such an environment.  I spotted a Nike store and dragged Ping to it.  As we browsed around, I spotted these very cool sport shoes for Ping; black patent leather with white small poka dots and white souls.  They matched her poka dotted top and I had noticed that her high heels were getting the best of her.
 
This is when the battle began!  The poor salesman was put into the middle of such a push and pull drama between Ping and I.  This was one I was NOT going to back down from.  She tried everything to convince me not to buy the shoes.  When she knew I was not going to back down, she tried to convince me to buy a less expensive pair.  Needless to say, she left the store wearing her new patent leather Nikes.

[Capstone]

I see that you have experienced the frugality of Chinese women first hand. Gotta love it!

[Jeff S]

Great update Ken. Thanks. She's Chinese, so of course she likes to get the best deal. I'd say kudos on the shoes, but would suggest you pay attention to her when it comes to tipping. That can be very tricky in Asia and you may be insulting as much as you are rewarding. I'm not as familiar with China as Japan, but in many places and circumstances in Japan, it would be a slap in the face to tip.


BTW, the US is probably the only place in the world where shrimp are cooked without the head. Everywhere else understands the shell and head are where all the flavor comes from. They even get it in New Orleans, but the meat and potato middle Americans think it's gross. The seafood in China is amazing though.

[Capstone]

Great update Ken. Thanks. She's Chinese, so of course she likes to get the best deal. I'd say kudos on the shoes, but would suggest you pay attention to her when it comes to tipping. That can be very tricky in Asia and you may be insulting as much as you are rewarding. I'm not as familiar with China as Japan, but in many places and circumstances in Japan, it would be a slap in the face to tip.

Good point Jeff. Basically the Chinese do not tip at all and the only places that it is expected is in places that cater to foreigners. I do tip the bell boys at the hotels that I stay at in China though because I usually stay at 4 or 5 star hotels that are experienced with having foreign guests. I never tip at a restaurant though unless it is a western chain as it could be interpreted as an insult. I did go into a Hooters in Shanghai once though and right as you entered a sign was posted saying that it was run like a typical American restaurant and as such tipping was encouraged.

[jm21-2]

I don't know whether it's Chinese hospitality or their desire to show off, but I was treated to some pretty amazing meals as well.


Careful on the frugality. I think Taiwanese are even bigger penny-pinchers than Mainlanders and it is not something to take lightly. A couple days ago the motor for my convertible top busted and my fiance had a pretty amazing "i told you so" moment...next car will probably end up being a ford focus. At least for my fiance, finances are not a game, it's serious stuff. Wasting money or a perceived waste of money is a very big deal. Our first trip she was OK with me wasting my own money, but as things have progressed I have realized I will be ceding quite a bit of control of the budget over to her. Not a bad thing really. But certainly different. The good side is I will probably save a lot of money. The bad side is expensive hobbies/interests/foods/tastes will not go down easy. If spending somewhat lavishly is part of your lifestyle and she is a very frugal Chinese, you may be in for a bit of a surprise at how seriously she takes things as you get closer to marriage. Just my experience.

[Capstone]

Hey Ken, what's the latest news - how did the trip finally turn out?

[KenC]

 
Day 4- I just began every day with ordering room service breakfast to avoid any drama.  After breakfast, we went to “old town” Chongqing.  At mid morning the place was packed.  I got the feeling that there were a lot of Chinese tourists from other cities.  It was about 3 or 4 blocks long with shops lining both sides of the street.  Some were souvenir shops but the majority were selling food in one form or another.  There were restaurants, or shops with prepared food or a store front that would cook the raw food on display.  As usual the day began cloudy and foggy but now the cloud cover broke and we had sun.  It became very hot and very humid.  Not the type of weather I enjoy.
 
I had another dumb azz attack as I purchased a couple of decorated fans for people back home.  I committed the mortal sin of paying the price on the display sign!  OK, OK Ping, it won’t happen again, I promise.  The heat was kicking my butt, so I told Ping I needed to take a break and sit down somewhere.  We ducked into the next restaurant.  What a dump!  There was a dinning room on the main floor but we went up a flight of stairs where there was a hallway that led to 5 smaller dinning rooms.  The hallway was littered with dirty dishes in plastic tubs.  Then we were led outside to a bridge that connected yet another small dinning room.  With a table in front of the A/C and a diet coke, all was maybe not “well” but improving.  It was a little too early for lunch so I asked Ping to order us a salad to split.  The salad was actually pretty good.  I dropped a piece of lettuce on the table cloth and thought Ping was going to leap over the table to stop me from picking it up and eating it.  Obviously the 3 second rule doesn’t play in China.  She also saved me from eating some very small yellow pepper that looked harmless but guaranteed instant death to an American (according to Ping).
 
After lunch we walked some more.  We saw the river and more of the same type of stores.  I had enough, so I told Ping I wanted to leave.  While we were leaving, I hit my “wall.”  I had been very ill for a couple of years and although I am passed any danger, I am still not back physically to where I was before the illness.  Ping knew all about it before hand.  I told her I needed to rest for a while.  She told me to stay and that she would run to get us a taxi. 
 
We had quite a long drive and Ping had made me sit in the front seat and demanded the driver run the A/C.  I failed to mention that every time I had sweat on my face (which was often), Ping would be wiping it away with a tissue.  I have never been this babied in my life, including when I WAS a baby.  I was feeling much better when we arrived at Ping’s apartment.  Well, so much for that, as I was informed that she was 9 floors up with no elevator. 
 
Ping had a cute place.  It was very clean and very efficient.  There was one large living room (12’X16’) with leather sofa and chairs.  There also was a large TV and the usual assortment of tables.  There were two small bedrooms, small but efficient kitchen, dinning area and bathroom.  The bathroom had a corner shower and more than enough room for her washing machine.  Over the doorway of the bedrooms there were large A/C units with the condensers outside.  They were operated with remote controls and more than enough to cool each room.
 
After a nap, Tashnet and one of her friends came over to visit.  I was told that they both were looking for an American man.  However, they came up with looking for a Chinese American man so they would not have to learn English.  Later I explained to Ping how foolish an idea they had.  The ol’ bird in a gilded cage routine.  A light seemed to go off over her head and she passed along the information to Tashnet.
 
We hooked up with a group of people a few blocks walk from Pings for a hot pot dinner.  Hot pot is a form of cooking food at your table that is common through out China.  I was told that Chongqing is especially famous for it’s spicy hot pot.  Of course that tidbit came from a Chongqing resident.
 
The hot pot dinner consisted of many different foods: meat, poultry, mushrooms and vegetables served in small pieces.  In the middle of the table is a heated metal pot with spicy broth in which to cook the food.  In the center of the spicy broth was another metal bowl with a less spicy broth.  There was a spice buffet where you loaded a bowl with your favorite spices for dipping.  Ping’s son helped me stay clear from harm there.
 
For some reason, my limited chop stick ability escaped me completely that night.  It wasn’t easy to fish out a small piece of whatever in the bottom of the dark broth.  Of course Ping came to my rescue and kept setting pieces of food into my bowl for dipping and eating.  There were only a few things I didn’t care to eat and the majority was very tasty.
 
We caught a cab back to the hotel after dinner.
 

[KenC]

Day 5- Breakfast and then off to People’s Square.  People’s Square is a huge plaza with the Chongqing Museum at one end and a beautiful Cultural Center at the other.  While taking photos in the square, we ran into another friend of Pings: a younger woman with another gal with her guy from Australia.  I don’t really know their situation, but he had had some business in a different city and took the bullet train to be with her in Chongqing.  He told me the train went 300 MPH and was awesome.  He was a very personable guy and we chatted for a while, and then went through the museum.  It was a historical museum which I found interesting.
Afterward, we took a cab to yet another one of Ping’s friends.  This gal was a fellow student in her English class whom is married to an American.  Michael is 67 and his wife is in her late 40’s.  They live in a super small apartment.  He is a retired truck driver from Oregon living a simple life with his Chinese wife on a very limited budget.  She had two daughters; one of which we ran into at the museum.  This daughter had married an American from Colorado 3 years ago.  She was just granted a visa to go to him later this month.
Michael was a salt of the earth kind of guy with low ambitions and simple needs.  I got the impression he didn’t stray much from his chair in front of his computer.  He did say he hooked up weekly with his American buds at Subway for lunch.  He liked it in China and said he didn’t think he would ever return to the States.  Michael kept up with the news and was very critical of the goings on back home.  I enjoyed the English conversation as well as I am sure he did.
 
Later that night we had dinner with Wang and her husband Michael.  While we had dinner, the weather changed significantly.  It rained hard and the temp dropped into the 50’s.  Chinese Michael is a tech geek and a huge movie buff.  I love movies too, so we hit it off great.  It was difficult for me to understand some of his English, but we muddled through and enjoyed each others conversation.  After dinner we shot some pool and continued the movie conversation.  BTW, his favorite movie is The Godfather.  (Some things are universal.)

[Jeff S]

Yeah - you got to wonder what kind of sad direction our country is going when old time, salt of the earth kind of guys like the guy you met, feels more comfortable living in communist China than he would in the US. Marshall is that way too, as are some of our posters in the PI and Colombia. I've been looking at options in Japan lately too. The cost of living has plummeted there while it keeps going up here.


Great report Ken - keep it coming!

[KenC]

OK, now I am going to change this up a bit because if I am getting bored with it, I am sure most of the readers must be.  Instead of going blow by blow I will just share some of the significant events and my over all view of things.
 
The birthday party- Tashnet, her ex-husband, Ping and I drove to a very rich area of Chongqing.  We arrived at an exclusive apartment/condo complex with an impressive gated entrance complete with a uniformed guard standing at attention.  The complex comprised of 4 or 5 high rise building set in a park like setting.  Brick roads, paver walkways through beautiful landscaping with many benches and gazebos made for a very pleasant surrounding.
 
We ride the elevator to the 20^th floor to meet “the birthday girl.”  She is in her mid 30’s and some sort of manager for a huge grocery store.  It was her condo where she lived with her sister, her sister’s baby and grandma.  The place was VERY upscale and quite large.  All decorated with modern furniture with a spectacular view of the river.  The “birthday girl” is Tashnet’s niece through her former husband.  There was a great group of people including a few English speaking men.
 
Going with the flow, we all piled into cars and drove to a nearby restaurant.  They had reserved 3 connected private dinning rooms.  Each sat 10 to 12 people.  We sat in the middle dinning room with Tashnet, her ex, two quiet old dudes, grandma and some other people.  The birthday girl’s boyfriend imported wine from California for a living, so the alcohol was flowing quite well.  He set a new bottle of Chinese liquor called Ju Ju at each table, with a half dozen small bottles of Cali white.  All the beer anyone wanted was also available. I had not had a drop of alcohol for the last 3 years, but was in one of my moods (to drink and have fun).
 
The waitresses started to bring out dish after dish of food.  At one time I had counted 20 different foods on our table. Each portion was not large, but enough for everyone to have a taste.  The selection was all over the place: soups, fish, meat, poultry, mushrooms and an assortment of different veggies.  I began drinking the wine.  There were small water glasses to be used for the wine and Ju Ju.  The old guys were the only ones drinking Ju Ju.  Ping does not drink at all.  I noticed the BD girl running back and forth between the dinning rooms trying to be involved with everyone.  I began to propose a toast to her birthday EVERY TIME she came through our dinning room.  I would stand, hold my glass out and loudly wish her a happy birthday.  She would be polite and stop to have a drink with us.  I urged the old guys and everyone at our table to join in.  Even Grandma (but I didn’t push her too much). Once everyone understood my actions, the party kicked up another notch.  We had many visitors from the other dinning rooms coming into ours to join in the fun.
 
Then the old guys busted me.  Without a common language, they made me understand that I was a light weight for drinking wine instead of Ju Ju.  Oh boy, here we go.  I downed my wine and offered up my glass for Ju Ju.  They immediately toasted so I would drink it.  Yuck.  Ju Ju is an awful tasting Chinese “white lightening” with a kick of a Missouri mule.  As the night wore on, everyone, including me, were getting pretty toasty.  It was a great time for all.  The BD’s boyfriend and the other English speaking man both thanked me for attending and making the party a hit.  Ping could just sit, laugh and shake her head at me.  She had never seen the party animal side of me.
 
The BD girl came in and sat next to me with two rather large bottles of beer.  She slammed one down in front of me in a challenge.  I downed my glass of Ju JU and told her “let’s go!”  She started chugging her beer so I followed suite.  She got ½ way through her bottle and stopped.  I clinked bottles with her, told her “happy birthday” and finished my bottle.  After that there was much beer drinking.  Everyone became best friends.  For some reason, unbeknown to me, if I am drinking liquor and switch to beer, I tend to sober up.  I was getting sober and the rest of the crowd was going down hard.
 
The dinner portion of the night was complete.  Good nights were given, including hugs to me from my new best friends (the old guys and grandma).  The older people went home and the rest of us crazies retired to the Karaoke place.  There are two things people from Chongqing take seriously: their peppers and KARAOKE!  The place we went to was off of a shopping mall.  We were met at the grand entrance by a bevy of cute Chinese girls in uniform.  All was quite lavish.  I later was told that the Karaoke competition was fierce with one place trying “one up” the other.  We were led into our private room.  It was a large room (15’X18’) with leather couches, coffee tables and a private bathroom.  Of course a killer sound system and a large screen where music videos played with the songs selected.
 
Wang and Chinese Michael met us at Karaoke as they had not been to the dinner.  All told there was about 25 people total (including the BD girl).  They brought in 3 huge trays of assorted fruit and 30 bottles of beer.  That is when the party kicked into high gear.  Everyone sang and danced their hearts out.  Some of them were quite good actually.  We began to “lose” people one at a time.  I counted 5 “dead solders” at one time and more on the way to join them.  Tashnet was one of them.  Ping jumped in to try and save her by urging her to get up and dance.  She was semi successful.  The place brought in a birthday cake and everyone sang “Happy Birthday” in English.  The only snafu was the BD girl was holed up in the bathroom.  She eventually came out and the party started winding down.  The Karaoke place gave us the final boot at 2 AM.
 
 

[Capstone]

Baijiu & KTV - a killer combination!   We Americans tend to think of karaoke as being somewhat of a cheesy activity but those big KTV clubs in China sure are fun. Great report Ken - keep the updates coming!

[Jeff S]

Yeah - the drinking formalities are something there - and the Chinese hootch - nasty. I've put away plenty to go along with the customs, but with every shot, wished I'd brought along a bottle of real booze. The Chinese sure know how to party though - always free-flowing food and drink.

[Ray]

 
Hey Ken,
 
I'm not bored with your report.
 
Actually, this is one of the most well-written trip reports I have read here since the original Howard Chronicles. Don't stop now!
 
(I'm still curious to see what happens when you break out the ring... )
 
Ray
 
 

[Tanuki]

KenC-When are you going to come out with another update.  Looking forawrd to reading it. 

[KenC]

Gee guys, there really wasn't much more to report.  There was a day I came down with a bad cold.  We were caught in the rain and the temp dropped 30 degrees.  I felt like crap and stayed in bed all day.  Ping pumped me up with a variety of cold meds and played nurse to me the entire day.  That night I felt strong enough (and felt guilty enough) to get cleaned up and have dinner with Ping in the hotel restaurant.
 
I was leaving the next morning.  I worried about setting up a wake up call, but Ping covered that for me.  (What a pleasure to be with a thinking woman).  We were running a little late.  Let me just say whatever made us late was well worth the risk on missing the flight.
 
At the airport, I just had Ping drop me off at the curb and
 I made the flight easily.  What I didn't know, was that Ping DID park the car and ran into the airport to see me off.  When she couldn't find me, she sat and cried.
 
Since my return, we speak and see each other via the Net nightly.  I filed for a K-1 visa and just received the first notice.  Now the big wait is on.  It is very difficult.  Ping has begged me to come back and live with her in Chongqing.  I am considering doing it for a few months at least.  Don't know my decision yet, but being without her sucks.
Ken

[Capstone]

Since my return, we speak and see each other via the Net nightly.  I filed for a K-1 visa and just received the first notice.  Now the big wait is on.  It is very difficult.  Ping has begged me to come back and live with her in Chongqing.  I am considering doing it for a few months at least.  Don't know my decision yet, but being without her sucks.

That is great news Ken, I had hoped that things between you & Ping worked out ok in the end and it certainly seems as though they have. I would definitely recommend getting a couple of more trips to see Ping under your belt before her visa interview takes place as the Guangzhou consulate has been traditionally very tough on relationships which consist of only one trip. Of course if you do decide to go live with her in Chongqing for a few months then that can only be a plus for you. Well wishes & good luck with the visa process and relationship!!

[Ray]

 
Congrats on your engagement Ken!
 
Let us know how your visa petition is progressing...
 
Ray
 
 

[robert angel]

 
 
Congrats on your engagement KenC!--Holy Matrimony!!
 
 
And thanks for the great posts also--keep em coming, as we're eating them up and finding they're tasty too.

[Jeff S]

Yep - Congrats from me too, Ken.

[KenC]

Thanks everyone for your good wishes.  This may be hard to believe, but I never put the word "engaged" on our relationship.  The label does fit tho.
 

That is great news Ken, I had hoped that things between you & Ping worked out OK in the end and it certainly seems as though they have. I would definitely recommend getting a couple of more trips to see Ping under your belt before her visa interview takes place as the Guangzhou consulate has been traditionally very tough on relationships which consist of only one trip. Of course if you do decide to go live with her in Chongqing for a few months then that can only be a plus for you. Well wishes & good luck with the visa process and relationship!!

Cap,
I am hoping I did everything OK for the visa.  I have been trying to get a handle on the timelines but the info I have read is sketchy at best.  What was the time lag for you?
Ken

[Jeff S]

Well, you did file for a K-1 (fiance) visa, so we assumed, I guess.


Search Marshall K's story. His wife was turned down for her visa so he moved to China. 

[Tanuki]

WOW! Great end to a report.  Thanks for sharing your trip.  Congrats and good luck to you!  I hope you will provide updates on your K-1 process.
 
Thanks!

[bcc_1_2]

I know this trip is a little old, but I just got around to reading it in full. And I must say that I think it is a must read for everyone. If I have Kenc pegged right he is divorced from an American woman, divorced from an FSU woman, and now taking the steps in a relationship with a woman from China.

Back when I had more time to read trip reports online it was full of older men chasing really really young women and now Ken illustrates that he can go overseas and is pursuing an attractive 49 year old woman.

Having just come from a thread where it was suggested when I'm older and a friend ends up with a young hottie I'll be bored/jealous/whatever and consider trading in... I find this refreshing.