Avoiding scams is usually easy. It can be summed up in three
words, Don't send money.
A simple rule, but many men don't follow it. Of course there are
exceptions. If you've met a lady in person and things are serious, it's
not uncommon for men to send money to support them through the process
of comming to live here. However, except under unusual circumstances,
sending money to someone you've never met is not a good idea. There
have been men who've done this and the lady's needs turned out to be
legitimate. We're not going to say that every woman who asks for money
is pulling a scam, but any request from her, particularly before
you've met should be regarded as highly suspect.
Some men will claim scam when a woman simply decides to
relationship in which he's invested a lot of money through travel,
phone bills, and sometimes financial assistance for the lady. This may
be due to a conscious or unconscious belief on the man's part that he
is "buying" a woman. Those who really believe in mail order brides
probably think they've been scammed when any woman they want decides
she doesn't want him. In my own personal experience, I encountered one
"woman" (it was most likely a man using the lady's photos) out of 150
who was shady. There are indeed scamming women, and men pretending to
be women. The countries from which the majority of the ladies come from
generally have a considerably higher level of corruption and petty cons
are quite common in these places. A good rule of thumb for avoiding
scams is to not send money. Pretty simple, but some men rely on their
money to impress a woman. Not a good idea.
Signs that your lady may be trying to scam you-
Until you've met in person and spent time together, any claims
love should be suspect. Even if she seems genuine about it, you should
seriously consider moving on to a more rational, level-headed person
who wants to take the time to get to know someone REALLY well before
making ANY type of commitment.
I had this one tried on me personally. There's no need to send
to secure a hotel, etc. for your visit. If she suggests this, be
careful. Especially if she asks you to send cash.
It's not appropriate at all in any culture I know of to ask a
stranger you've never met to help you.
But of course, she needs money for a visa, airline ticket,
many of these countries, very few ladies can qualify for a tourist
visa. Perhaps some are niave enough to believe they can get one, but
more likely they simply want the cash.
Unless you've met in person and things are serious, you have
reason to be paying for her to study English. If you do decide to pay
for this, make sure the fees are realistic. Costs should be
considerably less than what you'd expect to pay here in the US. I paid
for my wife's English lessons while she was waiting for the fiancee
visa in Colombia. The cost was $50 per month. Some men have been told
these lessons costs upwards of $500 per month and have paid it, BEFORE
EVER MEETING THE LADY! Trying to impress her with their financial
assistance no doubt. I doubt the women were impressed with these men's
Resources listing scamming, and
potentially scamming women-
A page dedicated to exposing potential East European scammers
There are plenty of legitimate, above board agencies offering
translation and forwarding. However, this method of operation can
easily be used to con men out of money. You never know exactly who
you're writing to! Be sure if you use this type of service that the
agency will not filter out her address and/or telephone number. Ask her
for those VERY early in the correspondence. If they are not
forthcoming..... run, don't walk, away. When the service has no other
means of generating revenue than the email forwarding and translation,
they have to remain between you and the lady in order to continue the
cash stream. As soon as you bypass them and start communicating
directly with the lady, the agency's out of a job. Sometimes those
"free" contact services where you pay nothing for addresses can be
pretty expensive when each two way exchange costs you money.
- The letters are completely impersonal, and she does not
be responding to the questions you've brought up in a previous letter.
Maybe "she's" not writing the letters. They could be general form
letters with little other than a sentence or two changed to make it
- My Mother/Grandmother/Son/Etc. needs an operation
Many of the free, or nearly free, on-line international dating
services have ads placed there by agencies. Typically, the women
start corresponding with men and then inform them that they can't pay
their internet access fees and that if the man wants to continue
corresponding with her, he should pay $$ to the agency providing e-mail
services for the lady.
Sometimes the ladies aren't even aware that the agency placed
their personal ad at one of these sites. Sometimes the lady
doesn't exist at all but is rather a pretty face with an e-mail staff
ready to write back to men who fall for them. This is particularly a
problem with ladies from the FSU and some of the free or low cost sites
have even had to stop accepting ads from some parts of the FSU due to
the large number of complaints they've gotten from male clients.
If you're going to use one of these services, at least be
before you begin that you might be writing to women who either do not
exist, or have been planted on the site by the agency representing them
to gain more business.
Life time, or long term memberships good till cancelled or
may sound like a good idea to some, and there are instances when they
may be the best choice for some men, but be aware that the lifetime of
the agency offering it may be considerably shorter than your life-span.
If they go out of business, you could be left high and dry.
In general, it's usually best to avoid paying large up-front
membership fees for agency services. The majority will operate on a
pay-as-you-go basis, or offer relatively short term memberships. Paying
a large amount for a membership should be done only if you're confident
in the service. Perhaps a friend who's judgement you trust has used
them and given you a recommendation. When paying large sums for
services up front, it's a very good idea to really know what to expect
from a service before you pay. Better yet, buy a
of service for a lesser price from another agency so in case you're not
satisfied with their services, you haven't lost up to several thousand
dollars for your education on the ins and outs of the agency business.