Intro

[Lunatique]

I haven't read through every post so I don't know if my situation is that unique. But I'm a 27yrs old Asian living in the US and having a hard time dating here. Come to think of it... I'm Chinese but I was born in Vietnam, and I grew up in the states since I was 10. Needless to say I'm somewhat confused by life. lol. Maybe I'm too young to give up hope on American culture but part of me believes it may be easier to connect with the old world.

PS: Happy holidays. ^^

[Jedironin]

Welcome! Sounds like you'll fit right in here! 

[z_k_g]

Welcome to P-L!

I love HCM city, where are you from, South or North?  And what part of USA did you grow up?

Zulu

[Lunatique]

Welcome to P-L!

I love HCM city, where are you from, South or North?  And what part of USA did you grow up?

Zulu

Funny you say that cause I lived in Saigon, aka HCMinh city, till I was about 10. West coast! We landed in vegas and I've been stuck in this desert ever since. It's a weird town that don't have much attractions for local unless you enjoy being crammed up against intoxicated people in night clubs.

[z_k_g]

Funny you say that cause I lived in Saigon, aka HCMinh city, till I was about 10. West coast! We landed in vegas and I've been stuck in this desert ever since. It's a weird town that don't have much attractions for local unless you enjoy being crammed up against intoxicated people in night clubs.

Cool, I did a lot of work for Saigon Postal and enjoyed the nightlife, lots of beautiful women there.  My favorite place is the garment district, I got a few suits made there, took like 2 days, great British tailoring, and only like $100 each!

What type of women are you interested in?  The viet chicks are very pretty.  The northern girls are very light skinned and taller, the southern Viet girls are browner and a bit shorter and are not considered to be as attractive.

Do you ever go back to HCM city?

Zulu

[piglett]

Welcome to the board Lun


piglett

[Jeff S]

Hi Luna and welcome.

[Bob_S]

Needless to say I'm somewhat confused by life. lol.

Welcome to the club.

Maybe I'm too young to give up hope on American culture

Naw.  It just shows you are smarter at a younger age.  Your peers won't come to that realization for several more years.

but part of me believes it may be easier to connect with the old world.

Which old world?  Vietnam or China?  Either would be fine.

We landed in vegas and I've been stuck in this desert ever since. It's a weird town that don't have much attractions for local unless you enjoy being crammed up against intoxicated people in night clubs.

Yeesh.  Yeah, not a place for finding marriage-worthy women.  Hawt, yes, but not marriage-worthy.  You should take a drive down to our neck of the woods!  If you want Old World girls, Little Siagon is the place you oughtta be.

PS: Happy holidays. ^^

And Merry Christmas to you!

[Lunatique]

Do you ever go back to HCM city?
Zulu

Not yet, I just became eligible for naturalization this past summer after 17yrs of "permanent" visa.

Which old world?  Vietnam or China?  Either would be fine.

Either, neither. My family on both mother and father's side are Cantonese. And for some reason I was told I used to speak some Vietnamese but it's all forgotten. I've actually dated a Filipina here in Vegas once, which has me interested in that neck of the woods. And maybe not a good reference but from Korean movies I like the way their face look.

You should take a drive down to our neck of the woods! 

I know, I'm a dealer on the strip and every so often I see really hot Asian girls with these Asian guys and when I card them I get Cali IDs. It's too bad ya'll are so dang expensive down there, to live.

[z_k_g]

I know, I'm a dealer on the strip and every so often I see really hot Asian girls with these Asian guys and when I card them I get Cali IDs. It's too bad ya'll are so dang expensive down there, to live.

I feel ya!  My best friend is married to a cutie from Taiwan.  When I'm in LA we go to the Asian clubs and hang out and I gotta tell you, they are super hot!

But, I've never had much luck at clubs with the pick-up lines or just being the cool guy at the bar buying drinks.  We would go and spend time shopping in chinatown LA and I'd strike up some conversations but just never seemed to get any interest from the ones I liked.  In my opinion, the Americanized Asian population is 180 deg different than you will meet in the old country.  

When you get your passport, get a cheap flight out of LA or SF to HK, Tokyo, Taipei, Cebu, Manila or KL and meet a better breed of woman.

Zulu

[jm21-2]

You might get a bit more attention in Vietnam, but maybe Chinese culture is more compatible with you? Can't say much about the PI. In any case, it seems like damn near anyplace would be a better place to look for a wife than Vegas.

[thekfc]

Welcome to P-L.


Anything that you need to know....just ask away.

[Jeff S]

I know, I'm a dealer on the strip and every so often I see really hot Asian girls with these Asian guys and when I card them I get Cali IDs. It's too bad ya'll are so dang expensive down there, to live.

Not so bad, especially areas where there are casinos, like Temecula.

[Bob_S]

I'm a dealer on the strip and every so often I see really hot Asian girls with these Asian guys and when I card them I get Cali IDs.

The problem with Vegas (and to some extent So. CA) is, you see these hawt hawt "10" chicks in the high roller rooms and strip clubs and it distorts your view of reality.  You start to think that's what all women should look like.  So when you encounter a normal nice girl, she appears like a 3 in comparison.  But those 10's know their value and sell themselves to the highest bidder.  And there's always someone willing to bid more than you.  Even if you marry one, she'll still be looking for the better deal and know she can get it.  So in terms of marriage quality, that "10" is more like a 3.  While that original 3, who is objectively more like a 6 or 7 outside of the fun-house mirror distortion of Vegas, will  probably treat you better, cook for you, and be faithful.  And here's a trick from us old(er) farts: when a nice but plain girl treats you like a king, cooking you delicious foods and giving you sweet sweet lovin', she will morph into the most beautiful woman in the world.  It just happens.

It's too bad ya'll are so dang expensive down there, to live.

Who's talking live?  Just visit to start.  When the summer is roasting there in the desert, take a little vacation down to the coast.  Get a hotel for the weekend in a target ethnic neighborhood.  Spend a little time at the beach, but mostly hang out near the hotel and local businesses.  If the locals get nosy, answer their questions.  No, I'm not married, no kids either.  I live in Vegas but like to vacation at the coast where it is cooler.  I'm open to meeting a nice girl if you know anyone.  And everyone knows somebody who knows somebody even if she's back in the old country who would like to hook you up with a nice girl (especially if you get your citizenship).   

[robert angel]

Re:

>> part of me believes it may be easier to connect with the old world.<<

Welcome. As someone said long ago 'It's old--but it's good'.

There's some good--better advice than mine on this thread before, but I think BobS pegged it best.

I am glad my Filipina wife has pride in her appearance and almost always asks if I like how she looks--if it's 'too much' when she's dressed (almost never is--she's sexy, but modest), but she doesn't preen and posture, never is trying to attract attention from anyone--ESPECIALLY other guys outside the house.

She notices what she calls 'hottie' Asians, like the ones you describe in Vegas, and she in an ever so mildly sad way, says "I wish I could be--look--like a hottie like that". Well she can--you should've seen her at the Christmas party in heels, her hair up, make up on her face, jewelry and egads --HIGH HEELS!. But she really doesn't like to look that way--afraid to seem like the center of attention. A, little clear lip gloss, a  semi tight sweater, and low cut jeans and some smart looking flat shoes--that's what she likes. But this was a formal event in a wealthy community and I kind of said "honey--we need to dress up" I even wore a suit and tie, of all things. And socks.

I thought she was going to throw those damn high heels out the window, as we were driving from the clubhouse....

I was gone for a week and she asked --- called me from 700 miles away to ask if she could go out with a couple friends to their apartment to eat. I always say 'yes'--but it's just the way she was raised. And if I said 'No honey--it's too cold outside'--she'd probably pout a bit--but stay home.

She's no dummy, is well educated and knows and sometimes jokes (strictly in private) that she realizes that if she was on the market here, that tons of guys, including some handsome rich ones, would surely be courting her.

She knows filipinas not half as pretty as her, who's husbands, who make less than me, give then, 5, 6 even $700 a month for 'walk around money'. What a recipe for trouble. They're usually the same guys who buy them $1500 + designer purses, when their wives find out they've been cheating on them.  

Temporarily buying themselves out of trouble and fostering materialism in the process, becomes a vicious circle that only gets worse and it's usually completely created by the husband introducing these new 'values'. Expensive designer clothes, purses, new cars, bigger houses and eventually expensive divorce settlements  often follow in sequence.

She sees how a lot of those sugar daddies treat their wives like crap--abuse them verbally in front of others, as if giving them 'things' gives them '[snip] plus' privileges along with their 'American Excess' credit cards. (hey, I think that's funny and I made it up).

But that's not what she 'signed up for' when she married me and we do OK, including helping her siblings get through college with some of her earnings. Her family's health and happinesss--that means more to her than anything.  She sees living here in the USA in mixed ways. We'll live here, probably 7 to 10 more years and then she can hardly wait to move back to the Philippines, hopefully living comfortably, but not 'over the top'--living back home w/o trying to act like big shots, and coming back to the USA every year or so.

She's a paradoxical mix of pride and modesty, of high standards and humility, a farm girl with a major city university computer engineering degree. She has a temper, but rarely for more than half a day or so.

I know she's one in a few billion, but I also know firsthand from past personal experience, that among the 90 million plus filipinas, there are a LOT of ladies like her--with good temperaments and staying power.

Luna, a lot of Chinese blood is mixed in the Philippines and you having roots east and west might put you in a better spot than many guys.

You still need to 'work the work' to find the really good ones, but as far as mining for a diamond of a wife, in finding someone not overly impressed with wealth, with bars, nightlife and the possibilities with other guys once they're married, I like the odds overall in the Philippines.

[robert angel]

Luna,

Getting your USA citizenship taken care of (if that's what you want) would probably help you not only to travel to the Philippines and other places, but certainly make you more attractive to a lot of Filipinas who may already have ties here.

I have noticed that most Filipinos and Vietnamese in my area get along pretty well. Although there is some petty jealousy from Filipinos and Americans in general, at how many Vietnamsee have come to dominate the nail/manicure business in certain areas and have become successful in other businesses as well. But that's just an unfortunate side of human nature  that exists to differing degrees in many people and places.



I think a great movie everyone on the Asian forums--really pretty much anyone period, should see, is Clint Eastwood in 'Gran Torino', to see how many Asians (especially Koreans in this film) are perceived and are treated by some Americans. That movie both moved us and made us laugh at loud.

Many of the Vietnamese where we live, have family who spent some time in Philippine refugee camps before being 'processed' to come live in the USA and they remember being treated well by Filipinos. We don't socialize a whole lot together, but sometimes we do get together for dinner and other things. We went to a full blown Vietnamese wedding, with the thirteen course dinner, with delicious jelly fish soup, among other dishes and it was a great experience.

There's a good amount of Chinese blood in some Filipino and Vietnamese families as well, which could work in your favor.

When I was single, some Vietnamese friends tried to match me up with some very attractive Vietnamese women and I do regret not visiting there and seeing what I missed.

I also heard that  although Laos is a very small nation, that many Laotian woman are very 'old fashioned' and extremely loyal to their spouses and that many of them make great wives, who will follow their man to hell and back, if necessary.

I know some of the Laotian Hmong people (former US allies as Hmong Mountain Laotian Tribesmen warriors) who are still extremely loyal to the USA, even though we left many of them to awful fates after we left Vietnam, as the war collapsed.

[z_k_g]

You still need to 'work the work' to find the really good ones, but as far as mining for a diamond of a wife, in finding someone not overly impressed with wealth, with bars, nightlife and the possibilities with other guys once they're married, I like the odds overall in the Philippines.

Rob,

Good solid advice!  

I like the American Excess also!  

Zulu

[Ray]

I think a great movie everyone on the Asian forums--really pretty much anyone period, should see, is Clint Eastwood in 'Gran Torino', to see how many Asians (especially Koreans in this film) are perceived and are treated by some Americans. That movie both moved us and made us laugh at loud.

I know some of the Laotian Hmong people (former US allies as Hmong Mountain Laotian Tribesmen warriors) who are still extremely loyal to the USA, even though we left many of them to awful fates after we left Vietnam, as the war collapsed.

Robert,

Gran Torino was a very good movie, but I think you missed the main point.

First, the Asian neighbors were not Korean, but Hmong refugees. The movie didn’t so much portray how they were treated by Americans, but more about how punk Asian gangs, consisting of their own people, brutally treated them. The American neighbor, a Korean War vet (Clint Eastwood), was the one who befriended and stood up for them.

We did accept thousands of Hmong refugees into the US, despite Clinton’s insistence that they be repatriated from Thai refugee camps back to Laos (dumb!).

Ray

[z_k_g]

I don't think Gran Torino was not about any particular race. 

The movie was a social commentary about a lot of real life issues in America.

What does is mean to be a "real American"?  Were these Hmong real Americans?  Clint's bigoted character hated them, these people didn't belong in "his" neighborhood.

Why do we fight our wars?  Do we fight for principles and to spread the American ideals of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness?  Before his eyes, his neighbors are denied all of these things that he fought for and believed in.

Is the American Dream a reality? The young lady and her family were part of the neighborhood changing and becoming more ethnic more diverse.  But this was not the retirement that Clint's character had envisioned after fighting these same "ethnics" overseas.  They were making his dream into a nightmare. 

And finally, are the objects of our pride "The Gran Torino" and hard work, the immaculate yard, metaphors for materialism, worth more than people in our society.

Zulu

[michaelb]

Why do we fight our wars?  Do we fight for principles and to spread the American ideals of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness? 

Did you mean this as a rhetorical question? I recommend that anybody not familiar with him do a search for Smedley Butler for his opinion. 

[Ray]

I don't think Gran Torino was not about any particular race. 

The movie was a social commentary about a lot of real life issues in America.

What does is mean to be a "real American"?  Were these Hmong real Americans?  Clint's bigoted character hated them, these people didn't belong in "his" neighborhood.

Why do we fight our wars?  Do we fight for principles and to spread the American ideals of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness?  Before his eyes, his neighbors are denied all of these things that he fought for and believed in.

Is the American Dream a reality? The young lady and her family were part of the neighborhood changing and becoming more ethnic more diverse.  But this was not the retirement that Clint's character had envisioned after fighting these same "ethnics" overseas.  They were making his dream into a nightmare. 

And finally, are the objects of our pride "The Gran Torino" and hard work, the immaculate yard, metaphors for materialism, worth more than people in our society.

Zulu

Huh? You got all of that stuff from the movie?? I must have watched a different flick.

“…this was not the retirement that Clint's character had envisioned… They were making his dream into a nightmare.”

So he was supposed to be thrilled with punk gang-bangers in his front yard, shooting up the neighborhood, or his neighbors breaking into his garage attempting to steal his car? THAT kind of “diversity” was the real “nightmare”.

Are punk criminals who harass, intimidate, and violently rape innocent girls “real Americans”? Perhaps in your mind, but not mine.

I think perhaps you read too much into the film… 

Ray

[z_k_g]

Ray,

The movie was a social commentary, just like 1984 or more recently Crash.

Zulu

[z_k_g]

Did you mean this as a rhetorical question? I recommend that anybody not familiar with him do a search for Smedley Butler for his opinion. 

Mb,

In the context of the movie and the screenplay.

All his neighbors, the Hmong, were threatened by thugs and punks and were in constant fear.  He was a soldier who had fought in Korea for "life, liberty and pursuit of happiness"- the American way but in his own American neighborhood it did not exist.

Zulu

[robert angel]

Details, shetails.....
Yea, I got it wrong--I almost accidentally completely took the big toe off my right foot a few days back and it's one uncomfortable, painful mess (no break dancing for a while) and maybe those little white pills I've been gobbling up fogged my memory a wee bit.

But really, I still think that Korean, Hmong Laotians, or just about any Asian group--it would've played out the same--it's semantics pretty much.

I think the gist of it was Clint Eastwood's character, having been in the thick of the Korean War, harbored nightmarish memories. He basically lumped all Asians (and probably pretty much all foreigners) into the same group of people he despised. Chinese, Korean, Laotian's really didn't matter.  I'd rather doubt he felt much friendlier to black people.

I once lived close to Hamtramck, Michigan, once probably the Polish capital of the world outside of Poland and I saw a lot of real racist, red neck Polish guys, who seemed to think the only people besides them who had full rights to N. America were the Pilgrims, who of course where the first people here, right?

Even when Eastwood's character saw them more as 'human beings' it still really didn't matter--I still don't think he differentiated them from any other Asian nationality, although I am sure to the end, he harboured ill will towards some Koreans, so that might have been an exception never clarified.

But hey Ray--you're right--it was Laotians--Hmong. I looked it up--the flick won a Golden Globe and made 260 million--not too shabby.

Hey Ray--when Goldilocks got lost and they used the trail of bread crumbs to find the way back--was it pumpernickle or rye bread?

[Jeff S]

I never got the idea the movie had anything to do with race hatred either. He called his good friend the barber a dumb Italian, and his priest a 28 year old Irish virgin with equal contempt as he had for the Hmong. It was all about the hardening of the culture not along racial lines but on people's actions. He may have called Tao a zipperhead but he bought him some tools and vouched for him at the job site and in the end cared for him more than his own family. It was about appreciating people doing the right thing and having contempt for those doing the wrong.