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Asian International Dating Forums => Asian -> General Discussion => Topic started by: z_k_g on November 03, 2018, 04:02:23 AM

Title: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 03, 2018, 04:02:23 AM
Was reading Fosgates "My Journey" post a few days ago and was really captivated by his narrative.


So many men go on a journey seeking the right woman, its not easy, its not always fun and its never predictable in any fashion.  But if you find the right woman, the right pinay, its well worth the price of the ticket!


His post gave me an itching to provide the newbies and anyone else with a thirst for insight into the real experiences of men who seek a mate outside of their own country.


I won't be as detailed as Fosgate (maybe do a longer post in sections) but for this short post I will provide some insight into some of what happened on my journey, well.... up to this point anyways...the "journey" is seldom ever completely over even when you are married with children right?


There is never really an appropriate place to start, so I will start with the first filipina and end with my present pinay.  Honestly, as I write this, it's not really a pleasant task because it involves a bit of self deprecation, but the truth is never quite so pleasant and at the end of the day my story may help and guide other men who seek a woman in the Philippines.  We learn from our mistakes and hopefully our bad decisions will not be repeated.


My first pinay #1 was 19 when I met her, together 3 years. Student, nice girl, smart, loving and very beautiful.  We got along well and I was extremely happy with her, I loved her, She love me (at least she told me so).  Visited her numerous times in the Philippines and we planned to marry after she graduated school.  When she graduated, she dumped me.  Just that simple.  She was cheating on me with another pinoy her own age.  I only found out about this a few months after we broke up and she defriended me on FB and start posting new pics with her new BF!  This story does not quite end here, so keep reading my friends.


My second #2 pinay was 28, together almost 4 years.  Met her while working in Hong Kong. OFW, Very pretty girl, mature, loving and ready to settle down.  We lived together and she also was able to travel with me because her employer in HK was super loaded and her only job was to care for a dog!  She could take off whenever she liked and she even had her own apartment, paid for by the employer.  She was really really wanting to get married, me not in such a hurry.  She wanted to move to Canada, which I opposed because I worked in HK and live in USA, the deep south.  I never would see her in Canada.  The Canadian government offered huge incentives to move there for filipinas, including a quick pathway to citizenship, high pay and you can bring your family!  We broke up she moved to Canada, end of story. 


Around the same time I was breaking up with #2, my first gf #1 was seeking me out.  She wanted to get back together.  So, I had no problem letting #2 go to Canada, I still wanted to marry #1, so I let #2 go. 


I got back together with #1, went to her parents house for Christmas later that year asked for permission to marry and proposed to her in front of her parents. Four months later, she called me and dumped me again!  Wouldn't tell me why, just that she wanted to break up.  At this point she is almost 26 years old!  Go figure this woman out?  WTF!  Welcome to the Philippines!


I needed some time off so I was single for a bit, just enjoyed the many many pinays in HK.


About 5 months after I was dumped by #1 for the 2nd time, I meet #3, 26 yrs old, my present fiancee.  We weren't serious at first only chatting and I didn't immediately meet her in person because she was living in Davao and I was in HK. 


After about 6 months of chatting, she went ghost!  One day we are chatting, next day no profile on FB, no FB chat.  Nothing, not even answering her cell phone.  WTF!  No clue to why she just ended all communication. 


In hindsight, we were not really that serious, only chatting, but I wanted it to get serious, I really liked her, but apparently she did not share my feelings, it was obviously not mutual and she simply didn't want to explain herself so she just ghosted.


I went back to the most enjoyable single life in HK, its pretty damn nice so I didn't fret over a woman #3, I have never actually met in person. 


About a year and six months later I am on Date In Asia and I get a random message, its #3!!!  She asks if I am single.  I say yep.  She says I want to start over.  I am like WTF, please explain your ghosting sister!  Long story short, she met an old crush from HS, they got together and since I was just a chat buddy, she didn't think it was a big deal to just end it. 


Makes sense to me but I really thought we had more that just a chatting relationship (stupid foreigner).  This is typical when you chat with pinays, your perception and the truth, the reality, are sometimes not the same!!  I'm pretty well grounded so I felt her ghosting me was a bit harsh, but whatever, I get it!


So, She #3 finds out that her crush is MARRIED with children after a year of dating him (a pinoy) and they break up.  She is back on the dating scene again and joined DIA and saw my photo.


So we resume our chatting after 18 months with no communication! Go figure that.  Things are going well so I am like, look we need to meet.  We meet up and things are cool, we have lots in common and we get long really well.  She comes to HK and stays with me and things get even better.


Fast forward to today and we are engaged, we are thinking of a church wedding next year, 18 months after we resume our relationship.  Time will tell....


As I stated at the beginning of my post, this is just a brief summary of My Journey. 


I really didn't provide any meaningful details just wanted to put my experience out there.  My experience was not very romantic or even particularly interesting just one man's experience.  I don't give a lot of details so my post may not be so helpful in gaining deep insights into the possible reasons for my failures and successes.


At any rate, posts are always opportunities for discussion and comments, I don't mind a robust discussion to help those men who are interested in a similar journey as mine and hopefully finding the woman of your dreams in the Philippines!


ZKG



Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: mambocowboy on November 03, 2018, 10:31:28 AM
Wow. Thanks for sharing.  Sorry to be so blunt but you seem to consistently get used by these women. But remarkably,  you seem to handle that very well, without any self pity. Yet you keep going back for more with the same women.  #1 should have never had another chance. #2 was a user. #3 sounds like a user too....again thanks for sharing but gotta call it like I see it...
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 03, 2018, 11:55:46 AM
Wow. Thanks for sharing.  Sorry to be so blunt but you seem to consistently get used by these women.
I am not sure how you got that impression in anything that I wrote, so let me be clear.


I spent many months weeding out the scammers, users, hookers, prostitutes, prepangos, part time freelancers, etc. 


These women were none of that, they were just regular pinays, good women from poor but decent families, looking for a good man, I can attest to that.  They did nothing wrong to me per se.  I wasn't taken advantage of in any way and I hope the breivity of my post did not give that impression.   Cheating happens with any woman, western or Asain or its not unique to filipinas and I would never say that.


I don't send money, I don't take anyone shopping, and I have never or will never support anyone that I'm not married, and even then they will need to work a job.  I never got a "sick caribou story" from any of my ex gf's, ever.


Bu I will add for clarity....



#1 I gave her money for her books in school and on a few occasions gave he money for tuition.  Wasn't a lot, but I did assist her.  She never asked or needed my money for anything, her 2 older sisters paid her way through school, as her bf I insisted that I help her, she never asked or expected as far as I remember. I was not her sponsor.


#2 Never gave her a dime.  She always split the tab for dinner or anything fun we did.  I invited her to travel with me on business, but she never asked me to go, I wanted her to accompany me so paid for her tickets, so I can't say she was taking advantage of me in any way.


#3 Never asked for money to this day.  I invited her to join me in HK and paid her way, she never asked to come visit me and was content with me coming to Davao to visit her.


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But remarkably,  you seem to handle that very well, without any self pity. Yet you keep going back for more with the same women.  #1 should have never had another chance.


#1 She was young and horny and hot and she was surrounded by many horny pinoy that knew she had a foreign bf.  I made a bad decision, and you are 100% right should never have given her another chance.  I was "in love" go figure that


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#2 was a user.


not really....just two people headed in different directions in life bro


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#3 sounds like a user too....again thanks for sharing but gotta call it like I see it...


Most guys don't get that any woman you meet online will always have more than one option (the same as you!)...that's the reality and that's the lesson here, learned first hand by me.  Also hope most guys will learn that long distance relationships in the Philippines is not gonna work. If you are not there taking care of her a pinoy will step in your shoes quickly.  Its not common for a filipina to have a foreign husband and a pinoy bf!


So either move to philippines, or move her to where you are.  Most pinays, even the young ones, hear so many promises that are broken or have so much pressure to marry or have children, they are not gonna wait on you.  Hypergamy rules and plus her pinoy had a higher SMV than me, I get that, under the same circumstances I would have done exactly that same thing, and so would you bro. 



I am red pill aware, I understand womens nature so hypergamy reigns....I get that, no emotions attached...the same way I don't get angry at gravity!


There is no relationship with a woman that will be "free" and cost nothing, you will pay something, We want the women, they want our resources.  This is not a "bad" thing, if you understand woman's nature and accept it. 


I was NEVER used by any of my ex gf's and my present gf is not using me.


Bottom line, Shet happens......Briffault's law always applies!


Thanks for the feedback! 



Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: mambocowboy on November 03, 2018, 12:53:39 PM
I give you credit and I guess since you didn't feel used you weren't.  But money aside, what about the time and energy you invested in these women? That's what would bug most men...i I would prefer to be with a woman who shows me she values me...resources aside, if  a woman digs you, she wants to have your babies. I believed that before I started looking overseas and I still do after 6 and a half years of marriage....I applaud your resilience, but the women you're choosing  I definitely wouldn't be giving second chances to...
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 03, 2018, 01:49:09 PM
But money aside, what about the time and energy you invested in these women? That's what would bug most men...i I would prefer to be with a woman who shows me she values me...resources aside, if  a woman digs you, she wants to have your babies.


Of course I agree 100%....but bro how do you know that with any woman until you took the chance on a relationship? 
All relationships are risks, you never know how they will turn out, you just have to do proper vetting and once you make your selection move forward and try your best to make it work.  But there are no guarantees in life and no one can predict the future.


Why do we post here, why do we bother? I do it to help others who have similar life trajectories navigate through this difficult process of finding a wife overseas, in this case the Philippines.


Planet-Love is that place where men can help other men.  We can tell our stories, however painful and embarrassing, in order to help other men avoid "wasting their time" and focus their efforts on finding the right filipina. 


Without this forum and all the brave men who told their stories, gave their advice and provided moral support, I never could have chosen good filipinas to call my gf.  My blind adventure was guided by the men on this forum and I am forever grateful.  I chose wrong, my mistake, I had to go back out there and find another.  That's life bro


But at the end of the day, only 2 people make a marriage.  This forum can help you find the right one, identify the red flags, but its up to you and her to make it work.  Its not easy finding that perfect match and completely different cultures don't make that search any easier.  Some guys get it right on the first try (sounds like you), some on the second (the majority of men), and some it takes double digits (everyone else).  Maybe I got it right this time... with #3, who knows, I'm gonna do all I can to make it successful, give it my best shot and have no regrets.


With so much at stake, marrying anyone nowadays should be taken as seriously as a corporate merger.  The femnazis of the west have destroyed our country's solid foundation and the marriage contract between men and women. 
Its not even a contract anymore, its just a sharp knife at your throat given to your wife and she can cut you at a whim, whenever she feels likes it, if she is "unhappy" she can divorce rape you at a whim take the children, get alimony, child support, restraining order, your house and half your cash and retirement.


I came to the Philippines to find a woman who is not so self centered and predatory and close minded as the American femnazis.  So far, my relationships have failed because of my bad decisions or my poor choices.  This is honest, straight no chaser.  Of course the filipina was the other 50% of the failure, but it had nothing to do with her nationality, it just wasn't a good match plain and simple, pretty much equal fault on both sides.  Of course here I'm not telling her side of the story, all I can do is tell mine.


My post is about My Journey. My goal is for men to learn from my experience and not waste their time!  There are some really great filipinas out there, hopefully our efforts, our posts will make it easier for men to find them.


ZKG



Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: mambocowboy on November 03, 2018, 05:33:00 PM
Definitely love the fact you shared here. Very few are willing to share failures...And yes failed marriage for most of us leads to financial catastrophe...I do think you are probably too self deprecating in relation to these women.  The way they dropped you from one day to the next sounded pretty callous, but maybe some others will view it differently...
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 03, 2018, 06:09:25 PM
I tend to echo MC's sentiments. However, I am all for someone if they are willing to post their missteps so that others don't fall into the same traps. I played the 'come-back kid' once and after the relationship was over (again), I felt embarrassed and used! But I picked my bohunkous up and jumped back in with both feet. I think this time around I have a winner. I sincerely hope you do also!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: JWR on November 03, 2018, 09:56:44 PM
Hey welcome back ZKG......
I remember reading your posts years ago.
I don't know maybe I've gotten too jaded.  I consider a chat friendship a real friendship even if you've never met the girl.  You're spending lots of time connecting with them and often chatting even daily.
#3 should have just sent you a quick message telling you that she's signing off before she ghosted.  A simple goodbye.  Sometimes I see character flaws in people when they do crap like that.  That is just too cold and inconsiderate.  People don't change much, and you may see that behaviour once again in the future.
You have alot of experience by now, and you just have to trust your gut after a while.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Fosgate5 on November 04, 2018, 06:47:50 AM
Thanks for sharing ZKG. I don't think you can easily describe a long term relationship in a paragraph to accuratly give a description and it's easy to jump to conclusions when we try to summarize like that. I gotta agree in the token you don't always see whats coming, make a bad decision and you don't see the tell tale signs that would have prevented it until after the fact. Fact of most of us is that we don't go running at the first sign.


Gotta remember Filipinos often have a side chick from their wives, girlfriends etc. You could could be chatting with that side chick that wants to get the hell away from that guy just as women do the same here as well. Ana was always keeping me in the loop with some of her girl friends. Once coworker who she still speaks to this day left her company to work in Abu Dahbi. She had a boyfriend that was in the Philippines, sailor and had a C U Next Tuesday of a mother living with him. They would often take off for a weekend and go bang each others brains out in a hotel before she left. They planned to marry but within a month or two of her being away she found another Filipino in Abu Dhabi, banging an african man and finally broke up with her Fiance in the Philippines. She's broken away from the African but not sure if she is seeing anyone at the moment. She's a nice girl don't get me wrong but she is a woman that wants and needs attention and that is what many of them want and also they are going to look at their future and direct their path. Now I don't know if here sailer fiance cheated on her as well or maybe even triggered the whole escapade but I would not be surprised.


I myself made a final date with an American for a couple weeks. Blonde, good looking and a bag o bich crazy. I saw that coming a mile away. Photogragher, former journalist, claimed she didn't drink on POF but everytime we me we drank a little. Then one night she got drunk, became real beligerant quickly and passed out. It was my cue to go to bed and shut the door behind me. I woke up the next morning and none of my stuff was destroyed or missing but she was gone and never heard from her again so I assume she got the point. That was my final check for myself on my decision to move forward with Ana and make the financial commitment to put up with the travel, the paperwork and expenses to bring her here. I would not have been suprised in a way if she ever made that final test decision if she was going to leave the philippines potentially forever or not as well.


They are also aware of some of the games foreghners play. I chatted with one Filipina on CB in the public that was absolutly crushed after she became invovled with an American who they both committed to each other exclusively and after 3 years he broke it off with her stating he had chosen another filipina. 3 years??!! She took herself off the market during her prime for that guy and he was working the angles with several different women. She had the fear that she lost her option to ever marry because of that guy. I saw then that many other filipinas chimed in with similar stories and others sharing advice how to avoid. Seems while we watch out for the scammers and filipinas asking for money. They look to avoid the players who show up and try to make the rounds with several different women or are chatting with several different women. Ana thought I was one of those players at first. Part of how I overcame that was by skyping or chatting EVERY night or morning to some extent. Their thought is to put it bluntly is you need to make up your mind pretty quick and stick with them or move on. They think in the terms that a good masculine man knows what he wants and a bad pick of a man plays the market as they don't know how to make a decision like a good masculine man does.


I used to play the market hard and I was a runner at the first sign. I never really put a woman before myself I think in part because of the feminist mindset that is such the social norm in our culture these days. Like ZKG said, society has armed them with a knife they can put to our throat at any time. In the same sense, I met Ana when I had nearly nothing at a low point in my life. She has been there to support me emotionally and now she has given up everything she had and knows to come here and be with me. God forbid if something were to happen between us to drive us apart. I'm not leaving her with essentially the clothes she came here with. I hear some guys wanting them to sign prenups etc. Really? I've always looked at prenups as the first nail in the coffin of a relationship that should be a sign that either there are signs that the little voice in side your head is trying to warn you about her or you really don't trust anyone. In either case you really should not be getting married period.


I place Ana before me as the most important thing in my life and I am the the first priority for her. Friends ask me sometimes if we have kids will they become the most important thing in our lives. (they usually have kids.) "Absolutly not" I say. This usually leaves a shocked expression on their face. They are a priority but Ana will always top them. There are enough articles written about the topic and simply put I have seen and been in a relationship where the spouse was not the number one priority to each. But among groups so many people put their priorities elsewhere. I think all filipinas I have met share in this idea that they will make you their top priority if you make them your top priority. That is why I would highly encourage anyone when you strike up a chat you may have a few choices but you need to quickly make up your mind within a couple months if not sooner which one you are decided on and stick with her and dedicate to her and make plans to go see her soon to confirm your own ideals if she is going to be the one you ask to marry her.


The idea of lining up several women to visit in one trip is suicide and lazy IMHO. I feel that is like throwing out 250 resumes online rather than focus on the 4 or 5 you really want to begin with, do reasearch and narrow that list down quickly has always been more successful at finding that job you really want, why not do that in our relationship goals? I Don't think I told Ana I was chatting with 3 other Filippinas at the time but everyday I was looking taking a new assessment of the vetting of them to rank them and eliminate them until I made the choice to pursue the number one choice. I think when I did that I asked Ana if she what I was doing and I had been chatting with several others but I would like to pursue her exclusively and asked if she would do the same. She even says today that flattered her that i was honest and forthcoming of my intent and said yes then. I informed the others of my decision as well and while there were tears among some of them (Because they are all saying "I love you" by now.) They all really appreciated the honesty that I did not want to waste their time or string them along. Couple of them knew before hand that I was chatting with other women because if they asked I simply told them the truth so they weren't so broke up about it but still appreciated the honesty.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 04, 2018, 08:15:28 AM
Thanks for sharing ZKG. I don't think you can easily describe a long term relationship in a paragraph to accuratly give a description and it's easy to jump to conclusions when we try to summarize like that.


Fos that is the beauty of having a forum like PL, we can start with a general paragraph and then if newbies or vets have some specific questions we can drill down and assist them.  This is not some type of group pity party as far as I am concerned, I'm not here seeking therapy.  My goal here is to assist good men, no sex tourists, to find a filipina wife.
Lets put our experiences, good bad or otherwise, out there and have a group discussion, ask questions, criticize, comment, like or beat down.  At the end we all will walk away better men and with a higher probability of success in such a risky endeavor.





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I gotta agree in the token you don't always see whats coming, make a bad decision and you don't see the tell tale signs that would have prevented it until after the fact. Fact of most of us is that we don't go running at the first sign.


If you are sincere and honestly looking for a wife you will give your gf a lot of slack and even allow significant red flags, ones we on PL have warned you about, get past you.  This does not mean you are stupid or a cuck, just shows your commitment to making the relationship work, no matter her shortcomings.  Typically, this will get you burned, ignoring the red flags, but sometimes you find out the red flags were not so bad.  Relationships are a risk, you just never know.

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Gotta remember Filipinos often have a side chick from their wives, girlfriends etc. You could could be chatting with that side chick that wants to get the hell away from that guy just as women do the same here as well. Ana was always keeping me in the loop with some of her girl friends. Once coworker who she still speaks to this day left her company to work in Abu Dahbi. She had a boyfriend that was in the Philippines, sailor and had a C U Next Tuesday of a mother living with him. They would often take off for a weekend and go bang each others brains out in a hotel before she left. They planned to marry but within a month or two of her being away she found another Filipino in Abu Dhabi, banging an african man and finally broke up with her Fiance in the Philippines. She's broken away from the African but not sure if she is seeing anyone at the moment. She's a nice girl don't get me wrong but she is a woman that wants and needs attention and that is what many of them want and also they are going to look at their future and direct their path. Now I don't know if here sailer fiance cheated on her as well or maybe even triggered the whole escapade but I would not be surprised.

Fos you just summed up the most intriguing aspect of Asian culture.  Specifically in the Philippines, in my experience, everyone, not just the men, keep their options open at all times.   In my 20 years in Asia 95% of every man I have met whether Chinese, Viet, Hong Kong and Filipino have had a side chick.  And the women know and accept it.  In southern china in fact some women typically stop having sex with their husbands at 35 and expect their husbands to get a mistress or hooker to satisfy their urges because sex at 35 is considered unladylike!  In the philippines is just rampant cheating and 3rd party relationships and the pinoys are notorious playboys.  Its not PC in the west, but older married (and sometimes rich) pinoys will routinely start early with the hottest single pinays, as young as 15 or 16.  They give them money and gifts, like cell phones, and are having sex with the young girls in secret (and sometimes not so secret). 
If you are seeking out a pinay and she is super attractive she will not be totally innocent even at 18, trust me.  Its not easy to find a virgin in the Philippines anymore even in the provinces.  She may give a good story but you must dig deeper and ask her the hard and difficult questions when you are discussing her past.  Pinays will lie to cover herself and avoid you "judging" her.  You must push her for no secrets and full disclosure.  You don't want to find yourself with a nice filipina who has been the mistress of several rich barangay captains and worked at a men's club in Manila!


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I myself made a final date with an American for a couple weeks. Blonde, good looking and a bag o bich crazy. I saw that coming a mile away. Photogragher, former journalist, claimed she didn't drink on POF but everytime we me we drank a little. Then one night she got drunk, became real beligerant quickly and passed out. It was my cue to go to bed and shut the door behind me. I woke up the next morning and none of my stuff was destroyed or missing but she was gone and never heard from her again so I assume she got the point. That was my final check for myself on my decision to move forward with Ana and make the financial commitment to put up with the travel, the paperwork and expenses to bring her here. I would not have been suprised in a way if she ever made that final test decision if she was going to leave the philippines potentially forever or not as well.
Fos you are lucky she lodged no false rape allegations against you.  With the #metoo hysteria in full idiot mode in the USA, I am in fear of being alone with an American woman.

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They are also aware of some of the games foreghners play. I chatted with one Filipina on CB in the public that was absolutly crushed after she became invovled with an American who they both committed to each other exclusively and after 3 years he broke it off with her stating he had chosen another filipina. 3 years??!! She took herself off the market during her prime for that guy and he was working the angles with several different women. She had the fear that she lost her option to ever marry because of that guy. I saw then that many other filipinas chimed in with similar stories and others sharing advice how to avoid. Seems while we watch out for the scammers and filipinas asking for money. They look to avoid the players who show up and try to make the rounds with several different women or are chatting with several different women. Ana thought I was one of those players at first. Part of how I overcame that was by skyping or chatting EVERY night or morning to some extent. Their thought is to put it bluntly is you need to make up your mind pretty quick and stick with them or move on. They think in the terms that a good masculine man knows what he wants and a bad pick of a man plays the market as they don't know how to make a decision like a good masculine man does.
In the Philippines the pinays expect you to commit quickly.  If you don't they move on quickly and they will leave you for the best option with no regrets on their part.  When I was love bombed by #1 a week into our relationship it took me a bit off guard.  This was my first serious filipina and I had no idea how seductive and comforting it was to have a beautiful young woman hit you with "I love you" would feel.  10 years later in hindsight I understand now the deal.  Young filipinas grow up listing to pinoy, Korean and Indian soap operas on GMA-7 TV and on the internet.  They are in love with LOVE and they are really role playing what they believe to be the storybook relationship. 

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I used to play the market hard and I was a runner at the first sign. I never really put a woman before myself I think in part because of the feminist mindset that is such the social norm in our culture these days. Like ZKG said, society has armed them with a knife they can put to our throat at any time. In the same sense, I met Ana when I had nearly nothing at a low point in my life. She has been there to support me emotionally and now she has given up everything she had and knows to come here and be with me. God forbid if something were to happen between us to drive us apart. I'm not leaving her with essentially the clothes she came here with. I hear some guys wanting them to sign prenups etc. Really? I've always looked at prenups as the first nail in the coffin of a relationship that should be a sign that either there are signs that the little voice in side your head is trying to warn you about her or you really don't trust anyone. In either case you really should not be getting married period.
Finding the right filipina changes everything. 

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I place Ana before me as the most important thing in my life and I am the the first priority for her. Friends ask me sometimes if we have kids will they become the most important thing in our lives. (they usually have kids.) "Absolutly not" I say. This usually leaves a shocked expression on their face. They are a priority but Ana will always top them. There are enough articles written about the topic and simply put I have seen and been in a relationship where the spouse was not the number one priority to each. But among groups so many people put their priorities elsewhere. I think all filipinas I have met share in this idea that they will make you their top priority if you make them your top priority. That is why I would highly encourage anyone when you strike up a chat you may have a few choices but you need to quickly make up your mind within a couple months if not sooner which one you are decided on and stick with her and dedicate to her and make plans to go see her soon to confirm your own ideals if she is going to be the one you ask to marry her.

I totally agree.  The relationship with YOU must be her first priority.  This will not be very PC but I also demand that the husband is the leader of the marriage.  I do not share leadership, someone must make the final decision, that someone is the husband.  This does not mean I am a dictator or tyrant or a slave master.  But I am the leader and this is non-negotiable with me. 
Western society has relegated men into bubbling weak fools and have created a false narrative the women are strong and intelligent and have been repressed for centuries. Bullshat!!  Gender roles are natural and have existed and evolved for thousands of years because they work.  Men protect and provide, women nurture and keep the family intact.  Women have zero respect for weak men and in the Philippines if you go Beta with a filipina you will find yourself cucked very quickly when you come home and your loyal wife is banging her pinoy bf.  Feminists are cancer and their destructive false narratives have destroyed the family structure in the USA and the west. 


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The idea of lining up several women to visit in one trip is suicide and lazy IMHO. I feel that is like throwing out 250 resumes online rather than focus on the 4 or 5 you really want to begin with, do reasearch and narrow that list down quickly has always been more successful at finding that job you really want, why not do that in our relationship goals? I Don't think I told Ana I was chatting with 3 other Filippinas at the time but everyday I was looking taking a new assessment of the vetting of them to rank them and eliminate them until I made the choice to pursue the number one choice. I think when I did that I asked Ana if she what I was doing and I had been chatting with several others but I would like to pursue her exclusively and asked if she would do the same. She even says today that flattered her that i was honest and forthcoming of my intent and said yes then. I informed the others of my decision as well and while there were tears among some of them (Because they are all saying "I love you" by now.) They all really appreciated the honesty that I did not want to waste their time or string them along. Couple of them knew before hand that I was chatting with other women because if they asked I simply told them the truth so they weren't so broke up about it but still appreciated the honesty.
During My Journey the selection process was difficult but necessary.  I narrowed my choices down to 3 and spent weeks eliminating the final 2.  This process took months to finally chose my #1 gf when I first started looking for a filipina wife, even with the help of the P-L forum.
My advice is to get to the point quickly and ask direct questions about their job, lifestyle, province, family and past relationships.  The red flags will pop up fairly quickly!!

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 04, 2018, 08:35:00 AM
Hey welcome back ZKG......
I remember reading your posts years ago.
I don't know maybe I've gotten too jaded.  I consider a chat friendship a real friendship even if you've never met the girl.  You're spending lots of time connecting with them and often chatting even daily.
I 100% agree.  But keep in mind on DIA, FC and any other dating website these pinays will get thousands of emails and establish hundreds of friends and chat with dozens of men.  The harsh reality is that a filipina will keep her options open and will chat with more than one man before she fully commits.  Thats a bitter pill to swallow for some but thats the raw truth, she may be telling 2 or 3 men "I love you".  I actually appreciate her ghosting me, I avoided any pretense of her actually wanting to pursue a relationship with me, no more wasting my time, and I moved on to someone who was focused on a relationship with me.  Hypergamy rules, she chose the man with the highest Sexual Marketplace Value.  That's woman's nature.

Quote
#3 should have just sent you a quick message telling you that she's signing off before she ghosted.  A simple goodbye.  Sometimes I see character flaws in people when they do crap like that.  That is just too cold and inconsiderate.  People don't change much, and you may see that behaviour once again in the future.
At the time she was chatting with many other suitors.  I do agree that is was cold from my perspective. But from hers I was just one of 3 or 4 and she just moved on because she was thinking he has 3 or 4 filipinas to choose from also and honestly, I did.

Quote
You have alot of experience by now, and you just have to trust your gut after a while.
Of course we discussed her ghosting, but as I stated earlier, once she explained her viewpoint, even tho I still didn't like her not even giving me a dear john note, I understood her. 

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 04, 2018, 10:39:29 AM
Z_K_G said:
Quote
In my 20 years in Asia 95%...
You having said that, says that you are aware of the culture and know the 'potions and poisons' involved. That puts you years ahead of me. Like you I did find one that was unmarried, and we skyped. Like Fosgate did, I let her and the others know my intentions. She was the only one that didn't send me nude photos etc. So that put her far in front. But then she engaged that 'cloaking device' and was history. At that point I was still on the fence about traveling 20+ hours to the PI and another 20+ on the return. Her disappearance cinched the decision for me and I returned to looking in my own hemisphere. I always like to hear about happy endings. I don't delight in the downfalls of those who went before me!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 04, 2018, 12:43:46 PM
Definitely love the fact you shared here. Very few are willing to share failures...And yes failed marriage for most of us leads to financial catastrophe...I do think you are probably too self deprecating in relation to these women.  The way they dropped you from one day to the next sounded pretty callous, but maybe some others will view it differently...


I'm not that self deprecating, just giving you guys the full monty and not holding back the fact that I made some bad decisions.  This journey is not for the thin skinned. 


I think the biggest misconception in this journey to find a foreign bride is that women are significantly different.  They are women and women's nature is the same the same no matter what country you go to. 
The difference in Asia is the culture which in some countries like the Philippines is still devoid of the feminist cancer. 


A filipina will take care of you and really dedicate her life to her family with you....If you find the right one.  There is no magic, no hidden secrets.  You have to spend the time to weed out the bad apples find the right one and build a solid relationship with your woman. 


So at the end of the day relationship wise, its no different from a relationship with an American or western woman.  What's the difference? Feminism has not taken hold in the Philippines, your probability of success is much higher because filipinas are not infected by the feminist scourge.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 04, 2018, 01:53:13 PM
Was reading Fosgates "My Journey" post a few days ago and was really captivated by his narrative.


So many men go on a journey seeking the right woman, its not easy, its not always fun and its never predictable in any fashion.  But if you find the right woman, the right pinay, its well worth the price of the ticket!


His post gave me an itching to provide the newbies and anyone else with a thirst for insight into the real experiences of men who seek a mate outside of their own country.


I won't be as detailed as Fosgate (maybe do a longer post in sections) but for this short post I will provide some insight into some of what happened on my journey, well.... up to this point anyways...the "journey" is seldom ever completely over even when you are married with children right?


There is never really an appropriate place to start, so I will start with the first filipina and end with my present pinay.  Honestly, as I write this, it's not really a pleasant task because it involves a bit of self deprecation, but the truth is never quite so pleasant and at the end of the day my story may help and guide other men who seek a woman in the Philippines.  We learn from our mistakes and hopefully our bad decisions will not be repeated.


My first pinay #1 was 19 when I met her, together 3 years. Student, nice girl, smart, loving and very beautiful.  We got along well and I was extremely happy with her, I loved her, She love me (at least she told me so).  Visited her numerous times in the Philippines and we planned to marry after she graduated school.  When she graduated, she dumped me.  Just that simple.  She was cheating on me with another pinoy her own age.  I only found out about this a few months after we broke up and she defriended me on FB and start posting new pics with her new BF!  This story does not quite end here, so keep reading my friends.


My second #2 pinay was 28, together almost 4 years.  Met her while working in Hong Kong. OFW, Very pretty girl, mature, loving and ready to settle down.  We lived together and she also was able to travel with me because her employer in HK was super loaded and her only job was to care for a dog!  She could take off whenever she liked and she even had her own apartment, paid for by the employer.  She was really really wanting to get married, me not in such a hurry.  She wanted to move to Canada, which I opposed because I worked in HK and live in USA, the deep south.  I never would see her in Canada.  The Canadian government offered huge incentives to move there for filipinas, including a quick pathway to citizenship, high pay and you can bring your family!  We broke up she moved to Canada, end of story. 


Around the same time I was breaking up with #2, my first gf #1 was seeking me out.  She wanted to get back together.  So, I had no problem letting #2 go to Canada, I still wanted to marry #1, so I let #2 go. 


I got back together with #1, went to her parents house for Christmas later that year asked for permission to marry and proposed to her in front of her parents. Four months later, she called me and dumped me again!  Wouldn't tell me why, just that she wanted to break up.  At this point she is almost 26 years old!  Go figure this woman out?  WTF!  Welcome to the Philippines!


I needed some time off so I was single for a bit, just enjoyed the many many pinays in HK.


About 5 months after I was dumped by #1 for the 2nd time, I meet #3, 26 yrs old, my present fiancee.  We weren't serious at first only chatting and I didn't immediately meet her in person because she was living in Davao and I was in HK. 


After about 6 months of chatting, she went ghost!  One day we are chatting, next day no profile on FB, no FB chat.  Nothing, not even answering her cell phone.  WTF!  No clue to why she just ended all communication. 


In hindsight, we were not really that serious, only chatting, but I wanted it to get serious, I really liked her, but apparently she did not share my feelings, it was obviously not mutual and she simply didn't want to explain herself so she just ghosted.


I went back to the most enjoyable single life in HK, its pretty damn nice so I didn't fret over a woman #3, I have never actually met in person. 


About a year and six months later I am on Date In Asia and I get a random message, its #3!!!  She asks if I am single.  I say yep.  She says I want to start over.  I am like WTF, please explain your ghosting sister!  Long story short, she met an old crush from HS, they got together and since I was just a chat buddy, she didn't think it was a big deal to just end it. 


Makes sense to me but I really thought we had more that just a chatting relationship (stupid foreigner).  This is typical when you chat with pinays, your perception and the truth, the reality, are sometimes not the same!!  I'm pretty well grounded so I felt her ghosting me was a bit harsh, but whatever, I get it!


So, She #3 finds out that her crush is MARRIED with children after a year of dating him (a pinoy) and they break up.  She is back on the dating scene again and joined DIA and saw my photo.


So we resume our chatting after 18 months with no communication! Go figure that.  Things are going well so I am like, look we need to meet.  We meet up and things are cool, we have lots in common and we get long really well.  She comes to HK and stays with me and things get even better.


Fast forward to today and we are engaged, we are thinking of a church wedding next year, 18 months after we resume our relationship.  Time will tell....


As I stated at the beginning of my post, this is just a brief summary of My Journey. 


I really didn't provide any meaningful details just wanted to put my experience out there.  My experience was not very romantic or even particularly interesting just one man's experience.  I don't give a lot of details so my post may not be so helpful in gaining deep insights into the possible reasons for my failures and successes.


At any rate, posts are always opportunities for discussion and comments, I don't mind a robust discussion to help those men who are interested in a similar journey as mine and hopefully finding the woman of your dreams in the Philippines!


ZKG


Why the hell did you go back with numer 1 when she cheated on you?.

You should dump this Type of woman  immediately, block her on Whatsapp, Facebook, SKYPE everywhere. Tierra charla..burnt earth..wipe her from.your memory..like she never existed..

I dont care if a woman is 18 and you are 80..s guy has gotta have more self respect than to be a Cuck Capn save a hoe..

If you agree to an "open" relationship and friends with benifits thstd one thing but for a serious relationship of any kind, much less a talk of "marriage"..iti s absolute insanity going after a woman of low moral character..




Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: vikingo on November 04, 2018, 03:28:08 PM
z_k_g, since you lived and worked in Hong Kong, maybe spoke some Chinese, did you avoid Chinese women for a serious relationship all together and why?
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: mambocowboy on November 04, 2018, 04:00:36 PM

Why the hell did you go back with numer 1 when she cheated on you?.

You should dump this Type of woman  immediately, block her on Whatsapp, Facebook, SKYPE everywhere. Tierra charla..burnt earth..wipe her from.your memory..like she never existed..

I dont care if a woman is 18 and you are 80..s guy has gotta have more self respect than to be a Cuck Capn save a hoe..

If you agree to an "open" relationship and friends with benifits thstd one thing but for a serious relationship of any kind, much less a talk of "marriage"..iti s absolute insanity going after a woman of low moral character..
glad I am not the only one who sees it that way..
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 04, 2018, 04:52:08 PM

Why the hell did you go back with numer 1 when she cheated on you?.

You should dump this Type of woman  immediately, block her on Whatsapp, Facebook, SKYPE everywhere. Tierra charla..burnt earth..wipe her from.your memory..like she never existed..


True
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 04, 2018, 05:24:21 PM
z_k_g, since you lived and worked in Hong Kong, maybe spoke some Chinese, did you avoid Chinese women for a serious relationship all together and why?


I work in HK, dual language and no reason to learn Chinese.  All of the HK Chinese women speak english.  HK Chinese are status conscious and are infected with western feminist cancer.  If you are not making 200k USD per year and have a condo in mid levels or soho, very upscale neighborhoods in HK, you will not get the time of day from a HK Chinese babe.


Unfortunately HK Chinese women are spoiled by HK Chinese men, they love to shop, take vacations, and go out to dinner every single night and expensive drinks in LKF on the weekends and after work.  HK is not the place you want to find a down to earth family oriented woman.  Aint gonna happen here.


Mainland China is a bit better but not much better because western feminism has infected Mainland China like gangbusters.   


If you want to know more specifics about HK and Mainland Chinese women, we can start a separate thread.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: vikingo on November 07, 2018, 11:56:27 AM
Many decades ago when I lived in Vancouver, Canada, I had a Chinese gf. Her family were immigrants in Kuching, former North Borneo.They owned a chain of grocery stores and dad sent her all over the world to experience different cultures because she had studied to be a geography teacher.She spoke fluent English of course coming from a former British colony, was very old fashioned, loyal and it seemed she was very much in love with me. Her face was nothing to write home about but she had a spectacular bikini figure. It so happened that the never-ending rain and drizzle in Vancouver got me down and I decided to move to Southern California. When I asked her if she'll go with she turned me down, cried a lot but it was a firm 'no'. She had made lots of friends in Vancouver, liked the Chinese culture there and had decided, that's where she was going to settle down and not return to her country. A few years after, a friend of mine run into her, she had gotten married to a German and had a little daughter.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 07, 2018, 12:35:17 PM
Mrs. 'A' DOESN'T like this "hypergamy" talk!

She says it makes all women out to be "gold diggers" and in a way, sounds like a bunch of crybabies, trying to reinvent in a word what Charles Darwin defined over 150 years ago, with the Theory of Natural/Sexual Selection!!!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 07, 2018, 05:36:28 PM
Robert_angel said:
Quote
Mrs. 'A' DOESN'T like this "hypergamy" talk!

She says it makes all women out to be "gold diggers" and in a way, sounds like a bunch of crybabies, trying to reinvent in a word what Charles Darwin defined over 150 years ago, with the Theory of Natural/Sexual Selection!!!
Ok, I'm with Mrs. A! Damn Bob! You have some big feet! :)
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 07, 2018, 06:37:04 PM
Mrs. 'A' DOESN'T like this "hypergamy" talk!

She says it makes all women out to be "gold diggers" and in a way, sounds like a bunch of crybabies, trying to reinvent in a word what Charles Darwin defined over 150 years ago, with the Theory of Natural/Sexual Selection!!!


Hypergamy a well documented social phenomenon....and its like gravity, you can hate it, despise it, or even love it... how you feel about it won't change a thing


Hypergamy is how the females of human race evolved to pick the strongest, most dominate, most attractive, most successful males to mate with. 


Gold digging aside....Its part of a woman's nature and its neither GOOD nor BAD, and like gravity, it ain't going anywhere!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 07, 2018, 07:00:58 PM
Mrs. 'A' DOESN'T like this "hypergamy" talk!

She says it makes all women out to be "gold diggers" and in a way, sounds like a bunch of crybabies, trying to reinvent in a word what Charles Darwin defined over 150 years ago, with the Theory of Natural/Sexual Selection!!!
Good for her..now try and make it good for you..tell her to.pay half the bills and see how that goes over...
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 07, 2018, 07:54:23 PM
https://www.seeking.com/hypergamy

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: utopiacowboy on November 08, 2018, 11:34:23 AM
I don't know why any guy would freak out over the idea of hypergamy. Would the human race have survived if women over generations of time had been choosing losers who couldn't hunt or take care of their wives and children?
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 08, 2018, 04:02:45 PM
I don't know why any guy would freak out over the idea of hypergamy. Would the human race have survived if women over generations of time had been choosing losers who couldn't hunt or take care of their wives and children?

Problem now adays is theoretically  the woman can find the provider and dump him, get half of his assets and alimoney and then go after the bad boys..with the six packs and tatoos..none of which are dumb enough to.marry her..just into the hump and dump.routine...espescially if she is a"cougar"who has" hit the wall"

And if the guy has no.money ,they just make the state pay.

Totally different case in Colombia. In a large sector
of the population the women just get knocked Up by a  loser who dumps her and the kids. Sometimes he supports them , but it is still a messed up situation.

It seems there arent enough non-loser Men to go around and the woman have a strong maternal instict so they get knocked up by the loser.

Thats the nice way of putting it. Myself, I just think they are plain too stupid to make good life choices.

In your case UC your wife is a widow so a totally different.situation.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Calipro on November 08, 2018, 10:33:55 PM

So at the end of the day relationship wise, its no different from a relationship with an American or western woman.  What's the difference? Feminism has not taken hold in the Philippines, your probability of success is much higher because filipinas are not infected by the feminist scourge.



I don't know much about the Philippines. But is it really that Feminism is a foreign concept to the women or rather that the Philippine men are not a bunch of beta wimps and the Philippine government doesn't actively support single mothers?


In Colombia feminism and hypergamy are a moot point after she has children. No guy that has anything going for him in Colombia is going to marry or even cohabitate with a woman that has another guys children.


Here in the U.S. the government will step in to support a woman if she has children and there are plenty of betas that will fight tooth and nail to support a woman that has another man's offspring.


In the U.S. if the woman is good looking she can take half of her husband's assets,  receive child support  and then marry another guy that makes even more money than the last.


This is something that a Colombian woman could only dream about. It almost never happens in Colombia..... not because women are repulsed by the idea of  feminism but rather because Colombian men are men and just won't have anything to do with women using them.



Even ugly loser Colombian men would rather pay for pussy than live with a woman that has another man's children.


Legalized prostitution is just one of many reasons why Colombian men are on top in their society and why American men are on the bottom.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: fathertime on November 09, 2018, 09:56:38 PM
Was reading Fosgates "My Journey" post a few days ago and was really captivated by his narrative.


So many men go on a journey seeking the right woman, its not easy, its not always fun and its never predictable in any fashion.  But if you find the right woman, the right pinay, its well worth the price of the ticket!


His post gave me an itching to provide the newbies and anyone else with a thirst for insight into the real experiences of men who seek a mate outside of their own country.


I won't be as detailed as Fosgate (maybe do a longer post in sections) but for this short post I will provide some insight into some of what happened on my journey, well.... up to this point anyways...the "journey" is seldom ever completely over even when you are married with children right?


There is never really an appropriate place to start, so I will start with the first filipina and end with my present pinay.  Honestly, as I write this, it's not really a pleasant task because it involves a bit of self deprecation, but the truth is never quite so pleasant and at the end of the day my story may help and guide other men who seek a woman in the Philippines.  We learn from our mistakes and hopefully our bad decisions will not be repeated.


My first pinay #1 was 19 when I met her, together 3 years. Student, nice girl, smart, loving and very beautiful.  We got along well and I was extremely happy with her, I loved her, She love me (at least she told me so).  Visited her numerous times in the Philippines and we planned to marry after she graduated school.  When she graduated, she dumped me.  Just that simple.  She was cheating on me with another pinoy her own age.  I only found out about this a few months after we broke up and she defriended me on FB and start posting new pics with her new BF!  This story does not quite end here, so keep reading my friends.


My second #2 pinay was 28, together almost 4 years.  Met her while working in Hong Kong. OFW, Very pretty girl, mature, loving and ready to settle down.  We lived together and she also was able to travel with me because her employer in HK was super loaded and her only job was to care for a dog!  She could take off whenever she liked and she even had her own apartment, paid for by the employer.  She was really really wanting to get married, me not in such a hurry.  She wanted to move to Canada, which I opposed because I worked in HK and live in USA, the deep south.  I never would see her in Canada.  The Canadian government offered huge incentives to move there for filipinas, including a quick pathway to citizenship, high pay and you can bring your family!  We broke up she moved to Canada, end of story. 


Around the same time I was breaking up with #2, my first gf #1 was seeking me out.  She wanted to get back together.  So, I had no problem letting #2 go to Canada, I still wanted to marry #1, so I let #2 go. 


I got back together with #1, went to her parents house for Christmas later that year asked for permission to marry and proposed to her in front of her parents. Four months later, she called me and dumped me again!  Wouldn't tell me why, just that she wanted to break up.  At this point she is almost 26 years old!  Go figure this woman out?  WTF!  Welcome to the Philippines!


I needed some time off so I was single for a bit, just enjoyed the many many pinays in HK.


About 5 months after I was dumped by #1 for the 2nd time, I meet #3, 26 yrs old, my present fiancee.  We weren't serious at first only chatting and I didn't immediately meet her in person because she was living in Davao and I was in HK. 


After about 6 months of chatting, she went ghost!  One day we are chatting, next day no profile on FB, no FB chat.  Nothing, not even answering her cell phone.  WTF!  No clue to why she just ended all communication. 


In hindsight, we were not really that serious, only chatting, but I wanted it to get serious, I really liked her, but apparently she did not share my feelings, it was obviously not mutual and she simply didn't want to explain herself so she just ghosted.


I went back to the most enjoyable single life in HK, its pretty damn nice so I didn't fret over a woman #3, I have never actually met in person. 


About a year and six months later I am on Date In Asia and I get a random message, its #3!!!  She asks if I am single.  I say yep.  She says I want to start over.  I am like WTF, please explain your ghosting sister!  Long story short, she met an old crush from HS, they got together and since I was just a chat buddy, she didn't think it was a big deal to just end it. 


Makes sense to me but I really thought we had more that just a chatting relationship (stupid foreigner).  This is typical when you chat with pinays, your perception and the truth, the reality, are sometimes not the same!!  I'm pretty well grounded so I felt her ghosting me was a bit harsh, but whatever, I get it!


So, She #3 finds out that her crush is MARRIED with children after a year of dating him (a pinoy) and they break up.  She is back on the dating scene again and joined DIA and saw my photo.


So we resume our chatting after 18 months with no communication! Go figure that.  Things are going well so I am like, look we need to meet.  We meet up and things are cool, we have lots in common and we get long really well.  She comes to HK and stays with me and things get even better.


Fast forward to today and we are engaged, we are thinking of a church wedding next year, 18 months after we resume our relationship.  Time will tell....


As I stated at the beginning of my post, this is just a brief summary of My Journey. 


I really didn't provide any meaningful details just wanted to put my experience out there.  My experience was not very romantic or even particularly interesting just one man's experience.  I don't give a lot of details so my post may not be so helpful in gaining deep insights into the possible reasons for my failures and successes.


At any rate, posts are always opportunities for discussion and comments, I don't mind a robust discussion to help those men who are interested in a similar journey as mine and hopefully finding the woman of your dreams in the Philippines!


ZKG
Thanks for the report ZKG,   Hopefully number 3 works out for you.  Her explanation for ghosting sounds pretty feasible to me.  Now that you have had time to assess the situation hopefully your judgement is good. 


All in all, it appears you have had some experiences dating and enjoying the ladies.  Probably the way it goes for many men.   


Fathertime!   
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 09, 2018, 11:37:04 PM
Thanks for the report ZKG,   Hopefully number 3 works out for you.  Her explanation for ghosting sounds pretty feasible to me.  Now that you have had time to assess the situation hopefully your judgement is good. 


All in all, it appears you have had some experiences dating and enjoying the ladies.  Probably the way it goes for many men.   


Fathertime!


Great hearing from you!  Hope all is well bro!


What part of Colombia are you living now?
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 10, 2018, 08:58:24 AM

I don't know much about the Philippines. But is it really that Feminism is a foreign concept to the women or rather that the Philippine men are not a bunch of beta wimps and the Philippine government doesn't actively support single mothers?


In Colombia feminism and hypergamy are a moot point after she has children. No guy that has anything going for him in Colombia is going to marry or even cohabitate with a woman that has another guys children.


Here in the U.S. the government will step in to support a woman if she has children and there are plenty of betas that will fight tooth and nail to support a woman that has another man's offspring.


In the U.S. if the woman is good looking she can take half of her husband's assets,  receive child support  and then marry another guy that makes even more money than the last.


This is something that a Colombian woman could only dream about. It almost never happens in Colombia..... not because women are repulsed by the idea of  feminism but rather because Colombian men are men and just won't have anything to do with women using them.



Even ugly loser Colombian men would rather pay for pussy than live with a woman that has another man's children.


Legalized prostitution is just one of many reasons why Colombian men are on top in their society and why American men are on the bottom.


What you are dating is  generally true CP. But there are exceptions to the rule. I do know Colombians who have married and even had additional children with single mothers. 

But the women made sure they treated the men good, and of course in Colombia, the Man, with the económic.power is always últimamately in control.

In the case of gringos , I am amazed of the number of desperate guys coming here and marrying smokers, single mothers, ex prostitutes, ex alcoholic psychotic, harpy witches and the like, and even worse, dragging their a$$ jail to the US because where they come from (Montaña, Texas,Alabama or wherever) the only choice for a relationship are land whales, sheep or sex dolls
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 10, 2018, 09:53:22 AM
In the case of gringos , I am amazed of the number of desperate guys coming here and marrying smokers, single mothers, ex prostitutes, ex alcoholic psychotic, harpy witches and the like, and even worse, dragging their a$$ jail to the US because where they come from (Montaña, Texas,Alabama or wherever) the only choice for a relationship are land whales, sheep or sex dolls


Wow!


Not a problem in the Philippines, most of the filipinas are slim and sexy by default.  The Philippines is virtual candy store for men, Disneyland in fact but you can actually marry the princess!


The wonderful thing about the Phils is that if your filipina gf goes flaky on you, even if she is a 10, in 15 minutes you can find another 10, so getting rid of problem woman is pretty quick and painless.


In the USA and the west is that its so very difficult to dump your gf or wife because your flawed 10 will be picked up in seconds and the odds of you getting one of equal value is not so good because of the cucks and blue pills that will swoop in to "save her".


Men that haven't been to the Philippines really don't understand the volume of beautiful women that live there, its really amazing.  Granted that not all filipinas have a desire for a foreigner, the sheer numbers that want a foreign guy and the fact that most are HOT by western standards, make this the few places in the world where losing a woman, dumping a loser or striking out means zilch.  Just move on to the next one!


In the looks department all of my ex filipina gf have been 9 or 10.  I am of the firm belief that there is no reason to travel over 9000 miles to date an average woman in the looks department. 


ZKG

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Calipro on November 10, 2018, 10:20:14 AM

What you are dating is  generally true CP. But there are exceptions to the rule. I do know Colombians who have married and even had additional children with single mothers. 



I know of only one single mother in Colombia that got married to a colombian man....but only after she had his child....which is rare.


Rarer still would be a Colombian guy that married a Colombia woman with another man's children and planned to have his own children with her.


And rarer still would be a Colombian guy that marries a single mother with another man's children and never plans on having children of his own with her. I have never seen that kind of unicorn in Colombia.
And they are surprisingly common in the USA.







Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 10, 2018, 11:03:41 AM

Wow!


Not a problem in the Philippines, most of the filipinas are slim and sexy by default.  The Philippines is virtual candy store for men, Disneyland in fact but you can actually marry the princess!


The wonderful thing about the Phils is that if your filipina gf goes flaky on you, even if she is a 10, in 15 minutes you can find another 10, so getting rid of problem woman is pretty quick and painless.


In the USA and the west is that its so very difficult to dump your gf or wife because your flawed 10 will be picked up in seconds and the odds of you getting one of equal value is not so good because of the cucks and blue pills that will swoop in to "save her".


Men that haven't been to the Philippines really don't understand the volume of beautiful women that live there, its really amazing.  Granted that not all filipinas have a desire for a foreigner, the sheer numbers that want a foreign guy and the fact that most are HOT by western standards, make this the few places in the world where losing a woman, dumping a loser or striking out means zilch.  Just move on to the next one!


In the looks department all of my ex filipina gf have been 9 or 10.  I am of the firm belief that there is no reason to travel over 9000 miles to date an average woman in the looks department. 


ZKG

Women in Colombia are gorgeous..way.way more beautiful than Filipinas in most guys opinión.

Its just a lot of guys come here and hook Up with the first one s they meet...just cuz they are good looking.. and are quite often the bottom of the heap by Colombian standards..and I am not talking physically..

After shagging sheep in Montana and being thrown in the "Candy Shop".as you say..gringos tend to think with their little head and are way too desperate and make bad decisions
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 10, 2018, 11:20:25 AM

I know of only one single mother in Colombia that got married to a colombian man....but only after she had his child....which is rare.


Rarer still would be a Colombian guy that married a Colombia woman with another man's children and planned to have his own children with her.


And rarer still would be a Colombian guy that marries a single mother with another man's children and never plans on having children of his own with her. I have never seen that kind of unicorn in Colombia.
And they are surprisingly common in the USA.

I know of two.. and I am not sure that the second one has a kid with him because she is in her mid 30s.But recently I saw her with a Baby in Facebook fotos..could be baby of a prima. Her previous son is a really good kid, and the guy has kids too.Dont know if this makes a difference.

But you are right. The vast majority of Colombian single mothers stay single. Until they can find some sucker simp gringo or other foreigner to "save
" them


Actually come to think of it I know 3 cases of Colombians marrying single mothers.My ex maid is married to a guy for 12 years and she has a son in his 20s from a previios marraige.

Guess it depends how Long you have been in Colombia  how large a socio económic diverse population you are expones to.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 10, 2018, 03:06:28 PM
Women in Colombia are gorgeous..way.way more beautiful than Filipinas in most guys opinión.


Haha, ok, I would say Women in the Philippines are beautiful, slim, and sexy.....way...way more beautiful that Colombian females....in most guys opinion.
 







Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: mambocowboy on November 10, 2018, 05:50:38 PM

Haha, ok, I would say Women in the Philippines are beautiful, slim, and sexy.....way...way more beautiful that Colombian females....in most guys opinion.
 
It's a matter of taste. Both countries have tons of beauties...
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 10, 2018, 05:59:44 PM
It's a matter of taste. Both countries have tons of beauties...
My point exactly.....its a moot point and really not a relevant topic of discussion on this forum.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 10, 2018, 08:43:12 PM
It's a matter of taste. Both countries have tons of beauties...

And I imagine that like a lot of places, both nations offer a variety of 'looks', including light to dark complexions,eye shapes, straight to wavy hair, etc., etc.

Heck, get down to the brass tacks and the indigenous, terribly disenfranchised  people of the Philippines and Australia (which is part of Asia geographically) actually look more African than anything.

Fact is, especially amongst indigenous peoples of South America, Asiatic blood, more precisely DNA, is part of their being. To some extent, that''s worked its way into the greater population.

In the Philippines, 400 hundred years of past Spanish occupation has clearly worked its way into the population.

Some people have the milky white skin and the equine noses of Spaniards.It varies quite a bit from place to place.

Then there are areas where the language, the regional dialect, is very Spanish based :

"Chavacano or Chabacano [tʃaβaˈkano] refers to a number of Spanish-based creole language varieties spoken in the Philippines."

We went to a hot air ballon festival today, a few hours from where we live---wayyy out, in 'cotton country'---as you can see in the photo below from earlier today. Anyways, there were a lot of Latino people attending and I was amused at catching them looking at my wife, trying to figure where on earth she likely came from....

It's sort of insulting to both groups, but I have heard people, especially whore mongers making their way across the Philippines, dismissingly refer to Pinays (Filipinas) as "Mexicans with smaller noses"

Like Yogi said:

"You can observe a lot by watching"

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: mambocowboy on November 10, 2018, 08:46:20 PM
And I imagine that like a lot of places, both nations offer a variety of 'looks', including light to dark complexions,eye shapes, straight to wavy hair, etc., etc.

Heck, get down to the brass tacks and the indigenous, terribly disenfranchised  people of the Philippines and Australia (which is part of Asia geographically) actually look more African than anything.

Fact is, especially amongst indigenous peoples of South America, Asiatic blood, more precisely DNA, is part of their being. To some extent, that''s worked its way into the greater population.

In the Philippines, 400 hundred years of past Spanish occupation has clearly worked its way into the population.

Some people have the milky white skin and the equine noses of Spaniards.It varies quite a bit from place to place.

Then there are areas where the language, the regional dialect, is very Spanish based :

"Chavacano or Chabacano [tʃaβaˈkano] refers to a number of Spanish-based creole language varieties spoken in the Philippines."

We went to a hot air ballon festival today, a few hours from where we live. There were a lot of Latino people attending and I was amused at catching them looking at my wife, trying to figure where on earth she likely came from....

It's sort of insulting to both groups, but I have heard people, especially whore mongers making their way across the Philippines, dismissingly refer to Pinays (Filipinas) as "Mexicans with smaller noses"

Like Yogi said:

"You can observe a lot by watching"
I hear you. Heck, out here in San Diego we have plenty of beautiful filipinas....
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 11, 2018, 10:57:12 AM

Haha, ok, I would say Women in the Philippines are beautiful, slim, and sexy.....way...way more beautiful that Colombian females....in most guys opinion.
 

I am Canadian. De  have tions of Filipinos in Canada.

And I have worked overseas in countries  where they employ a lot.

Always excepions to the rule but they are not my type.

Like I said in anotger thread, the best looking Oriental women are the Japanese
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 11, 2018, 12:30:34 PM
I am Canadian. De  have tions of Filipinos in Canada.

And I have worked overseas in countries  where they employ a lot.

Always excepions to the rule but they are not my type.

Like I said in anotger thread, the best looking Oriental women are the Japanese

Guess it boils down to WHERE you tend to find the MOST 'type/s' of women that appeal the most to you in terms of their physical and general personality appeal.

Around here, I'd guess it's a bit like being either a Yankees (pizza) or Red Sox (beans?) or Maple Leafs (Molsons) - Black Hawks fan (PBR) fanboy....

Again, all things considered, probably the one place where I saw the greatest number of incredibly beautiful women was in the relatively small city of Galway, Ireland. Lots of stunning, long, raven haired women with eyes that looked like blue and green topaz. Lots-very dense and intense presence there for sure. And like a lot (too many and to great an exent IMO) Latinas,TOO firey and emotionally explosive.

That phrase "DON''T get my Irish up" didn't come to be by mere chance.....
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 12, 2018, 08:25:23 AM
They come in all shapes,sizes, cultures, and attitudes. And I love them all!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 12, 2018, 09:48:10 AM
They come in all shapes,sizes, cultures, and attitudes. And I love them all!

Sooo many women, so little time....
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: z_k_g on November 12, 2018, 11:06:06 AM
Sooo many women, so little time....


Rob, your wife look so freaking young!!  Have you gotten the cops called on you yet when you are with her? 


Recent research shows that men in their 20's love women in their 20's and men in their 50's love women in their 20's haha.  This despite the social pressure in the USA to force men to date women at or near their age. 


Bro your wife looks under 25! (Camera angle? Lighting? Photoshop?)


You are still in Georgia?  When you go outside of your neighborhood where people know you, do you still get stares like you are a pedo? 


Just curious.....


ZKG
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: utopiacowboy on November 12, 2018, 05:21:54 PM
Like I said in anotger thread, the best looking Oriental women are the Japanese


There's no doubt that the Japanese women are very attractive women as a group. However I will give the Koreans the nod over the Japanese. My daughter-in-law is extremely attractive and she has two single cousins that any man would give his left nut to be with.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 12, 2018, 07:23:38 PM

Rob, your wife look so freaking young!!  Have you gotten the cops called on you yet when you are with her? 


Recent research shows that men in their 20's love women in their 20's and men in their 50's love women in their 20's haha.  This despite the social pressure in the USA to force men to date women at or near their age. 


Bro your wife looks under 25! (Camera angle? Lighting? Photoshop?)


You are still in Georgia?  When you go outside of your neighborhood where people know you, do you still get stares like you are a pedo? 


Just curious.....


ZKG




Hey ZKG!---It's great you're back---the Asian forums haven't seen this sort of life in literally years, and guys from the Latin side reaching accross and vice versa at that. Great, well articulated perspective, based on real life. Thanks.

My wife's closer to forty. Over 12 years ago, then P.L. moderator Bob_S was teasing me here on P.L. saying that she barely looked 16 and that was AFTER he and his family visited here in Georgia! The pics I've occasionally posted are purposefully ones that make her look older!

I haven't tried to get her into the movie theater on a youth ticket price in a while, but I probably still could, especially if she wore baggy clothes!

When I met her 17 years ago and married about 13 years ago, she was less than half my age. But thankfully time and Math has closed that gap. It's the only Math I like!

Part of the reason why I held off marrying her for 4 years, was I kept saying to myself:

"TOO young, TOO pretty, TOO well educated, TOO nice, "Someone like her should have children, will make a GREAT Mom"----I had gotten 'snipped' and besides, she had a Chicago Sugeon and a commercial pilot, all trying to win her heart. We were honest, and when I told her about my snip, I figured that was 'it'--the end.  But with guys making 4 or 5 times what I make, instead she walked into a new life as a Stepmom to a 3rd and 6th grader, Boys!  Hypergamy?

Up until last week, she's been driving a 1997 Toyota Camry that we purchased in 2005. Actually, that 97 Camry was built in August 1996!

I had to talk her into finally getting a new one. Hell, the final straw was we road tripped to Atlanta, ate our way across that city's Manila and Korea towns, hit Lennox Square, had a nice room and she wouldn't let me pay for a thing.

She had paid a $100 for another bottle of Dior Eau D Homme for me after just last week dropping $130 on a bottle of Yves Saint Laurent L' Homme cologne. (maybe I should shower more?---probably, she'll get in and scrub my back and behind my ears) but on a whim, I said:

"Let's hit Atlanta Toyota and at least have a look, it's the biggest Toyo dealer in the south, ya never know honey,  let's just have a look, OK....?"

She would've tried to talk me out of buying her even a T shirt, so I had to sell her on going to the dealership....

She and I had talked about a low miles 2016 or 17 Honda Accord EX, but after we realized that they slapped a turbo  on a smaller engine and CVT transmission into the Honda for 2018, we balked.

But I still had to talk her into even considering the new Camry. If not, she'd drive that 1996 Camry till the wheels fell off...

We went in, got a great deal on a sporty new SE model Camry. I wrote a check and we drove home in two cars.

But Mrs. 'A' is also 'Ms. Modesty.' Unlike 98% of Filipinas, as much as she LOVES it, she refused to post it on her face book, only sending a private pic to her family. She was a even a little irked when I told my family, not wanting me sounding too proud.

"Thall shall not covet" fits her to a "T' and she'd rather give than recieve, including to the poor and homeless.

She doesn't HAVE to help with the bills, in fact I have never asked her for a dime to cover household bills. She makes good money finally (deservedly) and especially when her siblings were young, she put them all thru college.  I never questioned her suppport of her family or church, charity. I just ask her not to give money to street people begging while smoking cigarettes or reeking of booze.

This summer, she took her Mom and sisters around the Philippines, then to HK Disneyland and Macau. I was delighted, they all deserved at least as much. She's the one who remembers all my family's B. days and she always gives my sons gifts and praise.

But even before our bank accounts eventually 'co mingled', she was already paying for most of the household bills and meals out. Aside from most groceries, the house mortgage and insurance, those I pretty much insist on paying for, she's really fast to pay for stuff.

Her job covers both our dental and vision. We each have our own excellent health insurance, but she's always healthy, never even a cavity, thank God.

Back to her youthful looks, no photo shopping. I deliberately post only pics that make her look OLDER, LOL.

She just takes exceptional care of her skin and mine too. Good genetics, but oddly, her single younger sisters have gotten a bit bigger than my wife, who's still a woman's size zero. But while my wife's kept her size pretty much, she's developed nice 'curves' --curves that she didn't have so much 15 or so years ago. Reproportioned a little from her vIrgin days, when we first met...

But between her hitting yoga and our brisk 15 minute or less per mile paced walks, and me on light weights, we both try to stay fit. We try and watch what we eat, but we occasionally, like last night--make a half pound cheese burger, hit Chili's on a Friday or the the too salty Chinese mega buffet.

We battle a bit because at home she's always 'tweaking' recipes to make them 'healthier'--- less oil, salt, sugar. She'll put tumeric and other health food 'stuff' in recipes. Last night it was banana bread with cranberries and raisins (excellent) but no flour---instead she ground up oatmeal. Last time, she used almonds for flour. She's great on Italian dishes, but I had to outlaw the green, spinach based pasta!

I occasionally go to yoga with her. I used to go every time--20 hot young women, usually,  2 or 3 other guys there maybe--typically gay guys,  LOL. But at 100 degrees of super sweaty, exhausting non stop exercise,  Im not always going--I'd rather work out with a football team--easier. I drop 4 or 5 pounds of sweat in an hour at yoga. My neighbor, an Army Pilot and grad of unbelievably intense killer "Ranger Training'--HE quit our yoga, LOL.

We try and 'date' a couple nights a week and 'road trip' to Atlanta, Charleston, St. Augustine,  Jacksonville once a month. NYC once in a while. A bigger vacation at least once a year. She TALKED me into retiring, as my job was getting terrible and I could. Meanwhile, she gets 5 weeks a year vacation at work, so we can get away a fair bit. She's never jealous of it, never comes home saying " And WHAT did you do today?"

Her NOT being jealous or bitchy keeps her mind, body and attitude young and healthy.

I've always told people not to let their kids and/or work lives rule over time with your spouse/lover, but I became even more aware and a bit guilty feeling, when I saw that none other than the chief of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, somehow manages two 'date nights' a week with his wife.

Tell the POTUS, she has definitely paid her 'immigrant dues'---worked some crappy jobs-- five years a public school classroom para professional, then five years as a manager for Chick Fil A which started as a 2nd job to the school's 8 to 4:00 grind, working with too many delinquent children. Chick Fil A wasn't 'that bad' but when she went to full time management, it was intense. No holidays or weekends off either.

But Chick Fil A is an awesome, super well organized company, where she gained much needed USA style confidence, interviewing, hiring, firing, managing and the company totally loved her. We'd have a franchise by now if she stayed and they're like mints to make money. But long hours....

But not only Chick Fil A, but area corporations who's employees ate there, noticed how sharp, how nice and hard working she was. The multimillionaire, leading local medical corporation owner, who always ordered the same chicken salad and tap water lunch everyday, noticed  her consistency and 'poached' her to work at his company. There, she's had a great five years, rising up the ranks there. Took a while to get 'up there'-- literally to the top floor, where the heads work, but she shined in every position and it's finally paying off, $$$ wise.

But looks, beauty and youth wise, she religiously uses Korean and a few other place's skin care products. The Korean's stuff really is the best today. For cosmetics and they're also now THE world center (Seoul) for plastic surgery, taking it from Brazil. Look at their boy bands and females, almost every one of them has been 'under the knife'.

She bathes twice a day, applies two or three stages of Korean skin care and then moisturizes her entire body. When I shower, she sometimes gets in and scrubs me from head to toe, then moisturizes me and has had me on an easier skin care regimen. One, two or three quick steps, depending on how I feel. Wish I started 20 years ago.

I use 2 or 3 fast steps, most days, but sometimes just one, once a day, I use cheap but great "theordinary"'s 'Buffet' ($12.99)  lasts a couple months easy ---it's like a Heinze 57 for one step skin care. But skin lotions head to her toes keep HER skin soft, like warm, light brown butter. The Korean stuff is about the best on earth and not overly expensive.

Only in the past year or so has she begun to use any sort of makeup beyond lip moisturizer and even then, you'd be hard pressed to notice any. I kept asking her to buy red lipstick and as soon as we're in the car, she's toning that down with tissue. Classic Filipina from the 'province'

If anyone's interested,  PM me, for about $10  a month, your skin will love you. Women I've worked with for thirty years noticed big time. She and I don't sell or telemarketing anything.  In fact we hate that sort of stuff. Sites like Canada's theordinary.com, also Canada's lush.com and some Amazon products imported from Korea rule.  Look yourselves if you care.

But guys, if you don't use skin care products now, START. If you're in your 40's or 50s, a good skin care regimen --and it's simple, easy--will have you looking 5, 10 years younger over time.

Sunday nights she likes to do our toes and fingernails and have us wear collagen face 'masks for 20-30 minutes. Last night, she was working me literally head to toe for about 2 hours. I said: "My toes are fine, honey"-- but she insisted, "I LIKE to do them." I have to let her start at the beginning of the TV game or movie, because she's got me! 

I''m the only straight guy I know with manicured and lacquered (polished, then clear laquer) toe AND fingernails! She gets mad if I even try and clip my own nails!

But yeah, she looks a LOT younger than her age and the way she takes care of herself (and tries to do so with me) I can't see it changing too much. After all, a really nice Filipina a few doors down our street just turned 60 and she looks like a hot version of someone late thirties! (She does yoga every day)

Oh--Z-K-G ---before I ramble on to death----on that Q about possibly  being busted  as a 'perv'--- ONE time....Just after she got here and was scared of all this new USA stuff, she was very clingy with me, it kind of happened. I still had a pencil thin mustache and she hadn't asked me to shave or instilled more modern fashion style on me yet, which DIDN'T help.

Anywho, we were in some "Holy come to Jesus' thrift shop....There was some schizophrenic looking, really beady eyed, weird woman.....This demented  'holy roller' somehow got my wife out of earshot and said: " Are you OK?. Do you need me to rescue you--take you to safety?  Totally bizzare.

ONE other time, at Disney World, an old woman who wasn't moving fast enough in line, muttered an age related crack under her breath.

But the people who count, namely OUR family, our friends and even all our co workers, never. They freaking love, love her and if anything that gets old, often remind me how lucky I am to have her. And their comments are 90% based on her personality, not age or looks.

Not that we really care what others think. It's about US.

Good golly, Ms. Molly...Ya'll are probably wondering  "How about in the bedroom?"-- how about in 15-20 years, Rob?" My wife is obviously conscious of appearances and as to our 'love life' she sometimes wonders if people see her five ft, 94 pound frame and my 6 ft, 200 pounds one and wonder "How, Do, they 'do it?', LOL. Like a German Sheppard and Chihuahua kind of mismatch curiousity, she's giggles, a bit not sure of if people ever wonder....

Well, she certainly loves and expects my 'affections' it's all great, she gives at least as good as she gets, and I just hope that while I always caution myself in the back of my mind:  'Nothing lasts forever', that if, when that time comes, be it 15, 20, 30 years from now, that IF needed, viagara is still available!!!!

PS: Hey, I looked at the pics I posted below (and this WHOLE frickin post 'reconfigurated, arrrgh) and the one of us in the city market square from last week at night (me in the fruity pink! hat) came out weird....not photo shopped, but it was low light. The picture near sunset time from just day before yesterday--in the cotton fields, earlier in this tread, THAT shows her sweetness, again untouched!!!



Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 13, 2018, 06:45:31 AM

My wife's closer to forty. Over 12 years ago, then P.L. moderator Bob_S was teasing me here on P.L. saying that she barely looked 16 and that was AFTER he and his family visited here in Georgia! The pics I've occasionally posted are purposefully ones that make her look older!

I haven't tried to get her into the movie theater on a youth ticket price in a while, but I probably still could, especially if she wore baggy clothes!

When I met her 17 years ago and married about 13 years ago, she was less than half my age. But thankfully time and Math has closed that gap. It's the only Math I like!

Part of the reason why I held off marrying her for 4 years, was I kept saying to myself:

"TOO young, TOO pretty, TOO well educated, TOO nice, "Someone like her should have children, will make a GREAT Mom"----I had gotten 'snipped' and besides, she had a Chicago Sugeon and a commercial pilot, all trying to win her heart. We were honest, and when I told her about my snip, I figured that was 'it'--the end.  But with guys making 4 or 5 times what I make, instead she walked into a new life as a Stepmom to a 3rd and 6th grader, Boys!  Hypergamy?

Up until last week, she's been driving a 1997 Toyota Camry that we purchased in 2005. Actually, that 97 Camry was built in August 1996!

I had to talk her into finally getting a new one. Hell, the final straw was we road tripped to Atlanta, ate our way across that city's Manila and Korea towns, hit Lennox Square, had a nice room and she wouldn't let me pay for a thing.

She had paid a $100 for another bottle of Dior Eau D Homme for me after just last week dropping $130 on a bottle of Yves Saint Laurent L' Homme cologne. (maybe I should shower more?---probably, she'll get in and scrub my back and behind my ears) but on a whim, I said:

"Let's hit Atlanta Toyota and at least have a look, it's the biggest Toyo dealer in the south, ya never know honey,  let's just have a look, OK....?"

She would've tried to talk me out of buying her even a T shirt, so I had to sell her on going to the dealership....

She and I had talked about a low miles 2016 or 17 Honda Accord EX, but after we realized that they slapped a turbo  on a smaller engine and CVT transmission into the Honda for 2018, we balked.

But I still had to talk her into even considering the new Camry. If not, she'd drive that 1996 Camry till the wheels fell off...

We went in, got a great deal on a sporty new SE model Camry. I wrote a check and we drove home in two cars.

But Mrs. 'A' is also 'Ms. Modesty.' Unlike 98% of Filipinas, as much as she LOVES it, she refused to post it on her face book, only sending a private pic to her family. She was a even a little irked when I told my family, not wanting me sounding too proud.

"Thall shall not covet" fits her to a "T' and she'd rather give than recieve, including to the poor and homeless.

She doesn't HAVE to help with the bills, in fact I have never asked her for a dime to cover household bills. She makes good money finally (deservedly) and especially when her siblings were young, she put them all thru college.  I never questioned her suppport of her family or church, charity. I just ask her not to give money to street people begging while smoking cigarettes or reeking of booze.

This summer, she took her Mom and sisters around the Philippines, then to HK Disneyland and Macau. I was delighted, they all deserved at least as much. She's the one who remembers all my family's B. days and she always gives my sons gifts and praise.

But even before our bank accounts eventually 'co mingled', she was already paying for most of the household bills and meals out. Aside from most groceries, the house mortgage and insurance, those I pretty much insist on paying for, she's really fast to pay for stuff.

Her job covers both our dental and vision. We each have our own excellent health insurance, but she's always healthy, never even a cavity, thank God.

Back to her youthful looks, no photo shopping. I deliberately post only pics that make her look OLDER, LOL.

She just takes exceptional care of her skin and mine too. Good genetics, but oddly, her single younger sisters have gotten a bit bigger than my wife, who's still a woman's size zero. But while my wife's kept her size pretty much, she's developed nice 'curves' --curves that she didn't have so much 15 or so years ago. Reproportioned a little from her vIrgin days, when we first met...

But between her hitting yoga and our brisk 15 minute or less per mile paced walks, and me on light weights, we both try to stay fit. We try and watch what we eat, but we occasionally, like last night--make a half pound cheese burger, hit Chili's on a Friday or the the too salty Chinese mega buffet.

We battle a bit because at home she's always 'tweaking' recipes to make them 'healthier'--- less oil, salt, sugar. She'll put tumeric and other health food 'stuff' in recipes. Last night it was banana bread with cranberries and raisins (excellent) but no flour---instead she ground up oatmeal. Last time, she used almonds for flour. She's great on Italian dishes, but I had to outlaw the green, spinach based pasta!

I occasionally go to yoga with her. I used to go every time--20 hot young women, usually,  2 or 3 other guys there maybe--typically gay guys,  LOL. But at 100 degrees of super sweaty, exhausting non stop exercise,  Im not always going--I'd rather work out with a football team--easier. I drop 4 or 5 pounds of sweat in an hour at yoga. My neighbor, an Army Pilot and grad of unbelievably intense killer "Ranger Training'--HE quit our yoga, LOL.

We try and 'date' a couple nights a week and 'road trip' to Atlanta, Charleston, St. Augustine,  Jacksonville once a month. NYC once in a while. A bigger vacation at least once a year. She TALKED me into retiring, as my job was getting terrible and I could. Meanwhile, she gets 5 weeks a year vacation at work, so we can get away a fair bit. She's never jealous of it, never comes home saying " And WHAT did you do today?"

Her NOT being jealous or bitchy keeps her mind, body and attitude young and healthy.

I've always told people not to let their kids and/or work lives rule over time with your spouse/lover, but I became even more aware and a bit guilty feeling, when I saw that none other than the chief of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, somehow manages two 'date nights' a week with his wife.

Tell the POTUS, she has definitely paid her 'immigrant dues'---worked some crappy jobs-- five years a public school classroom para professional, then five years as a manager for Chick Fil A which started as a 2nd job to the school's 8 to 4:00 grind, working with too many delinquent children. Chick Fil A wasn't 'that bad' but when she went to full time management, it was intense. No holidays or weekends off either.

But Chick Fil A is an awesome, super well organized company, where she gained much needed USA style confidence, interviewing, hiring, firing, managing and the company totally loved her. We'd have a franchise by now if she stayed and they're like mints to make money. But long hours....

But not only Chick Fil A, but area corporations who's employees ate there, noticed how sharp, how nice and hard working she was. The multimillionaire, leading local medical corporation owner, who always ordered the same chicken salad and tap water lunch everyday, noticed  her consistency and 'poached' her to work at his company. There, she's had a great five years, rising up the ranks there. Took a while to get 'up there'-- literally to the top floor, where the heads work, but she shined in every position and it's finally paying off, $$$ wise.

But looks, beauty and youth wise, she religiously uses Korean and a few other place's skin care products. The Korean's stuff really is the best today. For cosmetics and they're also now THE world center (Seoul) for plastic surgery, taking it from Brazil. Look at their boy bands and females, almost every one of them has been 'under the knife'.

She bathes twice a day, applies two or three stages of Korean skin care and then moisturizes her entire body. When I shower, she sometimes gets in and scrubs me from head to toe, then moisturizes me and has had me on an easier skin care regimen. One, two or three quick steps, depending on how I feel. Wish I started 20 years ago.

I use 2 or 3 fast steps, most days, but sometimes just one, once a day, I use cheap but great "theordinary"'s 'Buffet' ($12.99)  lasts a couple months easy ---it's like a Heinze 57 for one step skin care. But skin lotions head to her toes keep HER skin soft, like warm, light brown butter. The Korean stuff is about the best on earth and not overly expensive.

Only in the past year or so has she begun to use any sort of makeup beyond lip moisturizer and even then, you'd be hard pressed to notice any. I kept asking her to buy red lipstick and as soon as we're in the car, she's toning that down with tissue. Classic Filipina from the 'province'

If anyone's interested,  PM me, for about $10  a month, your skin will love you. Women I've worked with for thirty years noticed big time. She and I don't sell or telemarketing anything.  In fact we hate that sort of stuff. Sites like Canada's theordinary.com, also Canada's lush.com and some Amazon products imported from Korea rule.  Look yourselves if you care.

But guys, if you don't use skin care products now, START. If you're in your 40's or 50s, a good skin care regimen --and it's simple, easy--will have you looking 5, 10 years younger over time.

Sunday nights she likes to do our toes and fingernails and have us wear collagen face 'masks for 20-30 minutes. Last night, she was working me literally head to toe for about 2 hours. I said: "My toes are fine, honey"-- but she insisted, "I LIKE to do them." I have to let her start at the beginning of the TV game or movie, because she's got me! 

I''m the only straight guy I know with manicured and lacquered (polished, then clear laquer) toe AND fingernails! She gets mad if I even try and clip my own nails!

But yeah, she looks a LOT younger than her age and the way she takes care of herself (and tries to do so with me) I can't see it changing too much. After all, a really nice Filipina a few doors down our street just turned 60 and she looks like a hot version of someone late thirties! (She does yoga every day)

Oh--Z-K-G ---before I ramble on to death----on that Q about possibly  being busted  as a 'perv'--- ONE time....Just after she got here and was scared of all this new USA stuff, she was very clingy with me, it kind of happened. I still had a pencil thin mustache and she hadn't asked me to shave or instilled more modern fashion style on me yet, which DIDN'T help.

Anywho, we were in some "Holy come to Jesus' thrift shop....There was some schizophrenic looking, really beady eyed, weird woman.....This demented  'holy roller' somehow got my wife out of earshot and said: " Are you OK?. Do you need me to rescue you--take you to safety?  Totally bizzare.

ONE other time, at Disney World, an old woman who wasn't moving fast enough in line, muttered an age related crack under her breath.

But the people who count, namely OUR family, our friends and even all our co workers, never. They freaking love, love her and if anything that gets old, often remind me how lucky I am to have her. And their comments are 90% based on her personality, not age or looks.

Not that we really care what others think. It's about US.

Good golly, Ms. Molly...Ya'll are probably wondering  "How about in the bedroom?"-- how about in 15-20 years, Rob?" My wife is obviously conscious of appearances and as to our 'love life' she sometimes wonders if people see her five ft, 94 pound frame and my 6 ft, 200 pounds one and wonder "How, Do, they 'do it?', LOL. Like a German Sheppard and Chihuahua kind of mismatch curiousity, she's giggles, a bit not sure of if people ever wonder....

Well, she certainly loves and expects my 'affections' it's all great, she gives at least as good as she gets, and I just hope that while I always caution myself in the back of my mind:  'Nothing lasts forever', that if, when that time comes, be it 15, 20, 30 years from now, that IF needed, viagara is still available!!!!

PS: Hey, I looked at the pics I posted below (and this WHOLE frickin post 'reconfigurated, arrrgh) and the one of us in the city market square from last week at night (me in the fruity pink! hat) came out weird....not photo shopped, but it was low light. The picture near sunset time from just day before yesterday--in the cotton fields, earlier in this tread, THAT shows her sweetness, again untouched!!!


Good for you. 17 years is a long time.
I never have been in a relationship that lasted that long.

Maybe you are a lot nicer guy than tve surgeons or the.other guy who was after her who made 5times your salary.

But I doubt she would be.interested in you if you worked at Pizza Hut .  Even if you were promoted  to.manager at $15 an hour.



Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 13, 2018, 08:57:48 AM
Sometimes I think people give too.much information about.their personal.lives on this site.

Some things maybe should remain private.

At least with your currency partner.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 13, 2018, 10:50:04 AM
Damn! I wished this forum had a 'Like' button at the top of each post like the 'other' forum does. This bit about hypergamy is for the birds. I'm sitting here typing this in my novia's living room here in Ibague, because she won't let me help her in the kitchen. Including the dishes!
Elex: I understand now how you make 'spelling mistakes.' I am using my LG tablet and it is a royal PITA!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 13, 2018, 03:10:07 PM
Sometimes I think people give too.much information about.their personal.lives on this site.

Some things maybe should remain private.

At least with your currency partner.

You should run face book!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Calipro on November 13, 2018, 10:20:13 PM
. This bit about hypergamy is for the birds. I'm sitting here typing this in my novia's living room here in Ibague, because she won't let me help her in the kitchen. Including the dishes!


What’s the connection between hypergamy and your women not letting you do the dishes?

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 14, 2018, 05:14:10 AM
Calipro said:
Quote
What’s the connection between hypergamy and your women not letting you do the dishes?
In this and other forums it was used to push the so called 'feminist agenda'. Realistically, the term is another word for gold digging. My novia and I are probably in the same 'strata' so there really isn't any gold digging on either side for that matter. From the feminist point, she still insists on waiting on me 'hand and foot.' I don't mind this in the least. But I like to show her that I am not an invalid and I'm willing to help because that was how I was raised.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Calipro on November 14, 2018, 09:05:19 AM
Calipro said:In this and other forums it was used to push the so called 'feminist agenda'. Realistically, the term is another word for gold digging. My novia and I are probably in the same 'strata' so there really isn't any gold digging on either side for that matter. From the feminist point, she still insists on waiting on me 'hand and foot.' I don't mind this in the least. But I like to show her that I am not an invalid and I'm willing to help because that was how I was raised.


OK but hypergamy and the feminist view point have nothing in common.


Hypergamy is just simple mate selection where women by a large margin statistically marry up.


Even high earning women tend to marry up. And of the minority of women that marry down....most might be feminists. Jajaja
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 14, 2018, 10:53:34 AM

OK but hypergamy and the feminist view point have nothing in common.


Hypergamy is just simple mate selection where women by a large margin statistically marry up.


Even high earning women tend to marry up. And of the minority of women that marry down....most might be feminists. Jajaja


Lets get "Red Pilld"  ..what does a so called " higher strata" woman in Colombia pull in.? 2 or 3 millón a month?

Thats like less than a 1000 US a.month.

What side of the railway tracks does that put her in the US?

  I know "professionals" in Colombia, some with ( by Colombian standards) well paying jobs, who although they would NEVER admit it are basically prostitutes.Now this is the extreme of the spectrum, but to say any Colombiana is toally alruisic and only interested in "true love" and has no interest in bettering  life for herself and maybe her  family, is not only naive, but delusional.

Everybody ..especially women..has their agenda. And anyone, especially a guy in  his 50s or 60s that thinks a woman  from a Third World country ( no.matter how old or how many kids she has) is with him for his Hollywood good looks or Chipendale model body is sadly delusional.

And people dont even know the difference between Gold Digger and Hypergamy.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 14, 2018, 11:02:53 AM

OK but hypergamy and the feminist view point have nothing in common.


Hypergamy is just simple mate selection where women by a large margin statistically marry up.


Even high earning women tend to marry up. And of the minority of women that marry down....most might be feminists. Jajaja

I wouldnt necesarily say they are feminists. Feminists are usually interested in marrying Up.. or at least someone "equal education wise".

And feminists are the first to deny hypergamy, even though they are influenced by it also

Women who seek guys of a lower status  have the same problem with guys who have "capn save a hoe" complexes.

Usually find some "bad guy" that is a challenge..and want to conque and  "fix".

Or else both the man and thewoman are lunatics..narcisists, sociopaths , borderlines,BPDs...whatever..
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 14, 2018, 11:09:52 AM
Elexpatriado said:
Quote
Lets get "Red Pilld"  ..what does a so called " higher strata" woman in Colombia pull in.? 2 or 3 millón a month?

Thats like less than a 1000 US a.month.

What side of the railway tracks does that put her in the US?

  I know "professionals" in Colombia, some with ( by Colombian standards) well paying jobs, who although they would NEVER admit it are basically prostitutes.

Eveybody ..especially women..has their agenda. And anyone, especially a guy in  his 50s or 60s that thinks a woman  from a Third World country ( no.matter how old or how many kids she has) is with him for his Hollywood good looks or Chipendale model body is sadly delusional.

And people dont even know the difference between Gold Digger and Hypergamy.
Comparetively speaking, she is in the upper middle class here in Colombia as I am in the US. The only thing she is moving up on is latitude. ;)
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 14, 2018, 11:26:22 AM
Elexpatriado said:Comparetively speaking, she is in the upper middle class here in Colombia as I am in the US. The only thing she is moving up on is latitude. ;)

Must be in the top 1% of all female wage earners then..in Colombia..because that is where she would have to be statistacally to.makeas much as a firefighter in the US ($4000 USD or 12 million pesos a month).

I dont know why you dont believe in hypergamy. UC ucked out and got a very sucsessful.wpman with several.kids (a widow).and he knows it exists.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 14, 2018, 11:29:28 AM
https://www.seeking.com/hypergamy

https://youtu.be/N7LN14IpVy0

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Calipro on November 14, 2018, 01:10:54 PM
https://ifstudies.org/blog/better-educated-women-still-prefer-higher-earning-husbands
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 14, 2018, 02:18:43 PM
Elexpatriado said:
Quote
Must be in the top 1% of all female wage earners then..in Colombia..because that is where she would have to be statistacally to.makeas much as a firefighter in the US ($4000 USD or 12 million pesos a month).

I dont know why you dont believe in hypergamy. UC ucked out and got a very sucsessful.wpman with several.kids (a widow).and he knows it exists.
You obviously didn't read or understand what I was saying! I didn't say she makes the equivalent of $4k/month. I said she is in the upper middle class in Colombia! Sheesh I wish you would read things! It's a bit€h typing on a tablet!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 14, 2018, 03:53:19 PM
Elexpatriado said: You obviously didn't read or understand what I was saying! I didn't say she makes the equivalent of $4k/month. I said she is in the upper middle class in Colombia! Sheesh I wish you would read things! It's a bit€h typing on a tablet!

A pizza hut delivery.man from.Debuque Iowa could make upper Middle Class in Colombia.

And an accountant. Or Lawyer from Colombia would be happy washing díshes or cleaning pools in Long Island at $12 an hour.

I know enough of them.that do just that.

Didnt you read CPs links?

Women, except the dumb young ones who are in the partying "cock carousel "stage, are always looking for a "move Up" economically and are looking for a provider..one way or another. ..especially ones from Colombia ,Philipines, places like that.
Why cant you just accept it? Nobody is saying she is a gold digger ..or doesnt  "love"you.. (whatever that is nowadays)

If you dont believe me try an experiment. Tell your love you were given early retirement on a reduced pension and you wanna shack up with her in Colombia..nobody goes to the US.

See how that goes over.

Anyway you are in way too deep now. Obviously deeply "in love "and willing to do anything..

Taking a whole family from Colombia to the US and resettling everyone in a new life  is not  a simple task to be taken lightly, by any means..financially, physically or emotionally.You can forgot about early retirement.

I actually almost did the same thing myself about 14 years ago.

Personally I think I would prefer to spend  2 years plus frozen in the Antaractic with Ernest Shakleton

Thats ok..we have all been there done that got the t-shirt

And unlike Pavlovs dogs, never seem to.learn


Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 14, 2018, 08:52:35 PM


Anyway you are in way too deep now. Obviously deeply "in love" and willing to do anything...

A bit much there, Elex? Sounds like, speaking about 'too many personal details' that maybe you have some 'inside scoop' on WS?

Look, what this all boils down to, IMO, is "semantics" = interpretation of meaning.   Earlier, a parallel between "Hypergamy" and Darwin's ancient but still germane 'Law/s of 'Natural/Sexual Selection was mentioned.

To me, 'hypergamy' is hype--- it's still the same old sh!t, rephrased basically. Fake news, LOL. Make it whatever color pill you please, you can probably sell it to some people....

Rain, precipitation, drizzle, cloud bursts, downpours....

At least this thread isn't devolving into the many page long thread from years ago here, debating the meaning of 'slut'---that was somewhere between hilarious and insane, if not both.

There are facets, characteristics of male - female relationship selection and each and every one of them can and almost always does, vary in degree. Some elements may or may not be there. Some are quite primal and subconscious, some are more conscious, to the point of being blatant and deliberate, others more veiled, ulterior motives.

Some don't happen, don't begin to grow, for good or bad, for years, especially after if you bring a 3rd world woman to upper North America.

On one end, it could be one person expecting great, torrid sex and the other expecting only cash or other material things for providing that sex.

Some people, male and female alike, will even pay someone just to be seen in their company, out on a date with a person most see as particularly attractive. Escorts. Quid pro quo....

Money for select service/s being rendered.

Towards the other end of the spectrum, both members might expect to live together and in doing so, enjoy greater (broadly speaking) 'quality of life' then what they had as single individuals.

'Companionship', however archaic that might sound to some guys here.

I know to some of you fellas, that sounds like fairy tale, mamby pamby and yes, even I am waiting (but not hastening or hoping for) my good bubble of marital fortune to pop. But except for in the dead and the living dead, hope springs eternal, even if tempered by some skepticism, such as I what I have, deep inside.

My reality is, charmed times I've had in my Forest Gump of a life aside,  the fact remains that I've still managed to screw up just about everything, before rebuilding from the ashes I've burned. But even that kinda luck doesn't go on forever....

I mean how the hell on earth could some bald headed sucker like me, from smack dab in the middle of the middle class, marry two, very hot looking babes, well educated women, each able to earn their own way, OR dump me and move wayyy up the material ladder? First for 14 years, then the second, a MUCH improved and much younger model, for 13 years and to ME, a guy with two young kids at the time? Not to mention a few that I didn't just ' let get away' I chased them away!

Implausible, to put it mildly....

And I don't have no super magic wand hanging between my legs!

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part"

Well, it's a no brainer to not think that BOTH partners are hoping for the 'better' 'richer' and 'health' parts. It's when the wanting, or worse yet, 'angling' for those three things becomes more for ONE person, when it becomes less of an 'US' thing and more of a 'ME'  thing, that's one way in which the whole ball begins to unravel.

Yes, there's often a material component in there too, and that can be part of a quick bang for a buck, a marriage play on anticipated future assets of the other and so on.

But both hoping for for better times  material wise, is normal too.

Sometimes it just 'happens' incidentally, with out deliberate or malicious intent, as has happened to me.

For example, I can't help that my first and also my second wife, have bought me a ton of things I never asked for, such as Rolex and Omega etc., wrist watches.

Love's just a crazy, hard to figure thing.

It's crazy that with a collection of over forty watches, my wife asked me a few nights ago if I want ANOTHER watch for Christmas! After all, I still have only two arms and wear one watch at a time....So I said "NO honey"--although picking up the lovely watch,  model Citizen BN0195-54E as a "beater" -- as an out in the boat timepiece, has caught my eye---I'm just waiting for it in black titanium, LOL.

But I turned down a yacht and a summer vacation home in the mountains on a rippling trout creek too!

But hey, imported lux watches are my weak spot. True confession, LOL.

And I'll NEVER  try and talk my wife out of buying another pair of shoes! (unless they're butt ass ugly)

But only relationship sado masochists, he they male or female, enter knowingly into a long term relationship without each seeing 'something' besides the material, in the mix about the other person, something/s that they see making their liveS better.

They typically at a hard minimum, hope that in joining their two lives together, that 'one plus one' will miraculously add up to more than two.

And all material things aside, I've seen it happen for my wife and I.

----------------------------------------------------------------

se·man·tics
/səˈman(t)iks/Submit
noun
the branch of linguistics and logic concerned with meaning. There are a number of branches and subbranches of semantics, including formal semantics, which studies the logical aspects of meaning, such as sense, reference, implication, and logical form, lexical semantics, which studies word meanings and word relations, and conceptual semantics, which studies the cognitive structure of meaning.
the meaning of a word, phrase, sentence, or text.
plural noun: semantics
"such quibbling over semantics may seem petty stuff"

Ulterior Motive

Utterior motive/purpose etc
a reason for doing something that you deliberately hide in order to get an advantage for yourself
 He’s just being nice. I don’t think he has any ulterior motives.

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Wildstubby on November 15, 2018, 04:53:30 AM
Robert, I will spare some electrons by not quoting what you said above, but I couldn't agree more! Like you, I could of have been set up to inherit my 1st fiance father's business, (a private investigator in Marrietta, GA no less!), but came to my senses. As for me, my weakness is old receivers and transmitters. But that's another story. Elex never grasped the comparison that if you put me and my novia together, remove the $$$ signs, were are equal in status. Besides, if the two of us are happy, and that goes for you and your gem, and all the others here with foreign women, then who the hell cares? I mean isn't happiness the true goal? Elex seems to think that all women here in Colombia are 'cara de puta', (his words, not mine). But yet he continues to needlessly 'cast himself upon each sword' on behalf of 'gringo-kind'! Talk about a Masochist! But if that makes him happy, so be it! Just don't paint everyone or every relationship with the same broad brush!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: benjio on November 15, 2018, 11:52:47 AM
Elex tends to lean towards the pessimistic end when it comes to relationships with Colombian Women but in all honesty I agree with most of his opinions. What I have experienced however, are plenty of exceptions to the rule. There’s nothing wrong with meeting a gorgeous, 22 year old, party girl Colombiana and taking her friends to a disco, getting bottle service, dancing all night then taking her home and letting her drunk f&$@ you until the sun comes up. Some of the best nights of my life I did just that. There are plenty of girls out there that are nothing like that though. Those who are hell bent on making something out of themselves. Will they ever make much money in Colombia? F$&@ NO!!! But their willingness to work and dedicate themselves to building a better life is the characteristic you should always be looking for.

Elex is right!!! There are always ulterior motives when it comes to foreign dating. On both ends. We want a gorgeous piece of a$$ to stick our d!ck$ in but we’re not rich or famous so we have to leave the U.S. to find it. Foreign Women want a man that doesn’t cheat, beat on them, disrespect them and can actually bring the bacon home. If they want the opportunity to make a bit of money themselves that’s just another perk. Somewhere in between all that underhanded self interest though, people really do fall in love. I’ve seen it many times!!
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: mambocowboy on November 15, 2018, 12:29:54 PM
Elex tends to lean towards the pessimistic end when it comes to relationships with Colombian Women but in all honesty I agree with most of his opinions. What I have experienced however, are plenty of exceptions to the rule. There’s nothing wrong with meeting a gorgeous, 22 year old, party girl Colombiana and taking her friends to a disco, getting bottle service, dancing all night then taking her home and letting her drunk f&$@ you until the sun comes up. Some of the best nights of my life I did just that. There are plenty of girls out there that are nothing like that though. Those who are hell bent on making something out of themselves. Will they ever make much money in Colombia? F$&@ NO!!! But their willingness to work and dedicate themselves to building a better life is the characteristic you should always be looking for.

Elex is right!!! There are always ulterior motives when it comes to foreign dating. On both ends. We want a gorgeous piece of a$$ to stick our d!ck$ in but we’re not rich or famous so we have to leave the U.S. to find it. Foreign Women want a man that doesn’t cheat, beat on them, disrespect them and can actually bring the bacon home. If they want the opportunity to make a bit of money themselves that’s just another perk. Somewhere in between all that underhanded self interest though, people really do fall in love. I’ve seen it many times!!
Yes. Unfortunately unless you can spend long periods of time living together before you marry, the true getting to really know and love each other(or not) occurs after marriage,  not before. While I have done well with my wife, I know of others who haven't and whose relationships were clearly cash/visa grabs...
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 15, 2018, 03:27:11 PM
Yes. Unfortunately unless you can spend long periods of time living together before you marry, the true getting to really know and love each other(or not) occurs after marriage,  not before. While I have done well with my wife, I know of others who haven't and whose relationships were clearly cash/visa grabs...

Facts are, everybody's in it for SOMETHING. It varies from person to person and there's a lot of facets/degrees to it, but nobody in their right mind marries to lessen their quality of life. "For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health" ---that just doesn't carry the weight it used to, and if you don't think so, talk to a lawyer. It's increasingly a disposable world out there boys, and that includes you and me.

And while beauty and material trappings are the subject of attention worldwide, between social media, the entertainment media in general, including TV, movies and advertising, there's no place quite like the USA to entice an impressionable woman into wanting more than you're likely able to provide.

A woman of who looks pretty, but is not used to being treated like a beauty queen, from relatively modest means is almost certainly a better bet than further up or down the beauty, socio-economic economic life ladder.

Take an uneducated, dirt poor barrio girl and put her into a USA 'Desperate Housewives' environment and it's a lot more likely that she'll be, shall we say, 'overly impressed' than some gal from a more 'middle of the road background. A gal with wealth,  super hot looks, used to maids, foriegn cars and swank homes, well, it may be more for love than money initially,  but it may not play too well stateside. Unless you're loaded and even then maybe so all the same, she's quite likely to miss the trappings she left behind.

Ideally, if you want to protect yourself, at the risk of creating a bit of a cold shield, practicing 'catch and release', perhaps even living with a desirable woman, is worth considering, IF you can exercise that option. But don't forget, that in the USA, and if I recall correctly, also in Colombia and most nations; after a while, if you've been under the same roof together for a certain, long enough period of time, you'll be considered to have a 'marriage by common law' and ypu'll likely end up giving some things away.

And they'll probably believe HER more in her country than you when (if) it goes to court.

I used to take a stupid little smirk like satisfaction that other than the Vatican, the Philippines is still the only nation where divorce, whether a  common law or church sanctified marriage, is ILLEGAL. Even an anullment is an expensive, long, protracted process, IF it's granted at all. Tough place for women.And a lot of times, it's the women working to feed the kids, while the guy's gambling away the milk money, smoking Marlboros and drinking all the while. The dead beats strut like roosters over there,

But I took the 'danger step' and married my wife over here. In the midst of a career, it was hard to have it any other way. Yes I have land, a home in both our names in her country, but most of my (technically a lot of it now 'ours') money, retirement, investments etc. and last but not least, the marriage license, is here in the USA.

Actually I set up my pension so if I die first, likely,  she inherits it. If she leaves me, I keep it ALL plus an increase of several hundred dollars a month that I currently pay to ensure she's that she's set for life. "The marriage to a pretty young wife penalty' I call it." But worth every cent so far....We divorce, there's no wife to set up for life, . My Social Security years from now? I keep it all regardless. Other material things are somewhat, but by NO means 100% protecting by a living will/ trust that takes my children into account.

Calipro has probably forgotten more about these strategies than I'll ever know and I'm thankful for him sharing a good bit of that here in 'the main'.

If worse comes to worse, do NOT skimp and get a cheap lawyer. The best lawyers are worth every cent in the long run.  And if it appears inevitable, file, make the first moves before her. It's like Chess, white goes first and the side that goes first has at least a slight advantage. And of course, for better or worse, LOL, remember:

"All is fair in love and war".

But a woman from a modest background, with some education, loyal to her good family ties, but not to the point where their influence  overweighs YOU, who you are, what you have as a man and your autonomy together with her as a couple, is probably a much safer long term set up.

I will forever regret telling a member here, a great fellow with lots of experience abroad and I feel a good heart and brain, to never consider himself out classed, or out of his league regarding marrying woman who came from wealth, prestige and stability in her home country. It didn't go as expected.

At the risk of sounding crude, a  woman who  'over there' might considered to be a 7 or 8 in terms of physical appeal, but if you bring her to the USA, she's gonna be seen as more like  9 or 10.

And she'll come to know it, I don't care if you love in Corn Row, Iowa or NYC.

My own wife, a few times when I really got on her last nerve and she was verbalizing her anger, told me:

"What??--- you don't think I can leave you and find another guy? You don't think I can leave you and support myself??"" ----- I had to suck up that piss n vinegar and reply: "Yes Honey, I know that you could"

No f_cking doubt.

It's not just all the lawyers on TV or all the billboards advertising "Divorce: as little as $100"  that set the virus alive in her brain. It's often as much the friend you and her make, or 'friends of those friends'

We know Filipinas with as many a 5 kids, each from different Dads. They, and even certain ones married for a long time,  will not hesitate to offer their lawyer's cards, explaining how your lovely wife can have things SOOOOO  much better. How she can have a 'makeover' upgrading materially and to a younger, more handsome guy or guyS.

I see women with all these kids at parties, in six inch, come hump me now stiletto heels, fire red wet lipstick and painted faces, driving new cars, looking at my crotch, winking and smiling. Trash, looking for new conquests. They'll probably never remarry, lest they interrupt their 'support payments, alimony and such.

Meanwhile loose (literally) and free, they have enough young stud's phone numbers in their cell phone contacts to call one each day of the month, to wine, dine and hump them until the fillings in their teeth fall out.

It's a jungle out there man---and WE'RE the bananas!!!!

But back to natural,selection, hypergamy,,monkey branching,  whatever you wanna call it, LOL more and more, I think it's better to set things up working more towards the middle,of the spectrum, in terms of her looks and socio-economic economic demographics.

Because you marry her and take her here, their lives are probably gonna improve materially , but she could, with or without that, still miss how good she had it at home and go back. Or totally aside from that, she could change, become jaded and run a perfectly legal 'power play', try and clean you out for at least half of what you have (or whatever lawyer and the system allows) and dump you for a new, more attractive guy and life right here.

But if she liked you as a friend, came to love you as a BF then as a husband, if her head was pretty well screwed on to start and she's not blinded by, not coveting things material then and hopefully not down the road either, you just might have a chance.

And watch who you both socialize with here in the states. It's supposed to be about you and her, an US, not a THEM thing...

So yeah, you just might have a chance...Nothing risked, nothing gained, but be careful what you wish for!!!

Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 16, 2018, 01:02:04 PM
Robert, I will spare some electrons by not quoting what you said above, but I couldn't agree more! Like you, I could of have been set up to inherit my 1st fiance father's business, (a private investigator in Marrietta, GA no less!), but came to my senses. As for me, my weakness is old receivers and transmitters. But that's another story. Elex never grasped the comparison that if you put me and my novia together, remove the $$$ signs, were are equal in status. Besides, if the two of us are happy, and that goes for you and your gem, and all the others here with foreign women, then who the hell cares? I mean isn't happiness the true goal? Elex seems to think that all women here in Colombia are 'cara de puta', (his words, not mine). But yet he continues to needlessly 'cast himself upon each sword' on behalf of 'gringo-kind'! Talk about a Masochist! But if that makes him happy, so be it! Just don't paint everyone or every relationship with the same broad brush!

Forget " cara de puta" crap you keep repeating over and over

And forgot painting everyone with the same brush. Yes everyone has their  own ulterir  motives.

You are cherry picking my words. Sounds like a broken   record..an NPC

The three points I am.making and others are making as well are;

1. Everyone has their own ulterior motives for getting hooked Up with someone on a long term.basis..that go beyond "Love" allthough "Love" may come in the end.

2. I think you are way too naive about bringing 3 peoole to North América from a foreign culture and are downplaying the things you will have to go through, the costs, responsibilities and  risks. I think you are truly " in love" in your own.mind , are in too deep (we have all been through it before) and I trully wish you the best.
However, I hope that anyone in the future going to Philippines or Colombia or whatever, no matter what age, please take your time and measure twice  , dont be desperate and avoid single mothers,espescially if you plan too relocate them.to the US.even if there is chemisrtry, not because they may be a bad person, but because you are setting yourself up for 2 or 3 times tve difficulty and hassle. You will have to.be responsable to ICE  and immigration  etc. for 2 or 3 times the people, you will be financially responsible for 2 or 3 times the people (whether it works out or not). You will be responsable for the happiness of 2 or 3.times the people.For some people this will be 2 or 3 times the challenge..and they will.love it.
But not everyone will feel the same and have wild sucess like UC.Believe me, he is an aberation.Getting desperate and settling for anyone because you want to find someone before you are "old and grey" can make you make bad decisions.
 

3.I think Benjio and Mama made the.point of people have to live together before you really know someone. I am.going through that process again right now now. I would highly recomend people take a léase of absense and live with your prospective mate.in her home country at léast 6. months before dragging her back to the US. Going down for a few weeks vacacation.every now and then doesnt work.



Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 16, 2018, 01:27:31 PM


Ideally, if you want to protect yourself, at the risk of creating a bit of a cold shield, practicing 'catch and release', perhaps even living with a desirable woman, is worth considering, IF you can exercise that option. But don't forget, that in the USA, and if I recall correctly, also in Colombia and most nations; after a while, if you've ...etc.

Man you sure write a lot.

They point is of you have no assets in Colombia and all your assets in the US or Canadá you have nothing to worry about.

I am sure I mentioned this before..I am still " married" on paper to a Colombiana ..All my assets are in Canada..I have nothing to worry about..
Nothing has happened in 6 years ..and nothing will.ever happen.
I am.living with a girl.now and have no worries.

I was with an abusive gold digger lawyer for  awhile and has had no interest in.marrying me because she knew my.money was in Canada and there ws no way she could get her hands on.it..

Same goes with DIAN , kidnappers,.maids, other parasites.

They leave you alone if you have nothing in Colombia.They go after the low hanging fruit.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: utopiacowboy on November 16, 2018, 02:38:53 PM
But not everyone will feel the same and have wild sucess like UC.Believe me, he is an aberation.Getting desperate and settling for anyone because you want to find someone before you are "old and grey" can make you make bad decisions.


Now that was amusing. Yes, I am an aberration. Last night my little half Korean grandson was nestled between his father and me while we read him books and he was the happiest little guy in the world. It doesn't get any better than that.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 16, 2018, 05:57:28 PM
An interesting article...
https://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/14050/legal_matters/obligation_of_support_for_mail_order_brides_and_their_children.html
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: robert angel on November 16, 2018, 10:20:46 PM
An interesting article...
https://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/14050/legal_matters/obligation_of_support_for_mail_order_brides_and_their_children.html
.

While I think most of us possibly entering into such a situation know the 'general letter of the law'--namely knowing generally the obligations involved here, 12 years old or not, this is a good article. It should be 'required reading'. While the extent to which these obligations are enforced can vary, they can even be more harsh regarding support of her children from prior relationships, children who've been brought to the USA.

As in so many judicial proceedings, judges are allowed a suprisingly wide breadth of "judicial descretion" and can actually issue a court order, requiring the petitioner of the woman to pay for the support of the children, who are not even the guy's biological children. Bizarre yes, but it happens, even in cases where all the parties involved are USA born and raised., but the 'step kid's' natural father is a no show dead beat.

Yes, you need to be pretty sure you're entering into a realistically sound 'good faith' situation, because if it falls apart, the reprecussions can be severe.

All that said, although I've been through the whole birth to adulthood thing, raising my own children, before, and insanely enough even sometimes still, I think about taking in a kid or two and raising them. I sort of feel I owe it to the world for putting up with all the crap I made them deal with. I also think it would be very rewarding..

But with my younger son starting grad school in 2020 and me not getting any younger, I'd hate to be in my late 70s, with adopted kids still in school, me retired but not able to travel and do what I want. Plus, it'd be weird for the kids to have
a Dad as old as their friend's Grandparents.

As with so many things, you really need to know what you're potentially getting into, BEFORE you're in it and legally obligated....
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Calipro on November 16, 2018, 10:56:44 PM
I would highly recomend people take a léase of absense and live with your prospective mate.in her home country at léast 6. months before dragging her back to the US. Going down for a few weeks vacacation.every now and then doesnt work.


I don't know that living with a chick 6 months in Colombia before bringing her to the U.S. will do any good at all.


In the U.S. a chick can marry you, have your children divorce you and take half the marital assets and get state enforced child support. Then actually have a decent shot at marrying another guy that makes as much or more than you did...so he take care of her.


You could tell the coldest gold digging bitch in Colombia that story and she would shake her head in disbelief....But that is the norm here in America.


How is it even possible to prepare your average Colombiana for the astronomical increase in her marketability here.


Just hedge your bets and protect your assets as much as possible and just bring her here as fast as you can....if it doesn't work out....go back and get another one until it does.
Title: Re: My Journey
Post by: Elexpatriado on November 17, 2018, 08:19:49 AM

I don't know that living with a chick 6 months in Colombia before bringing her to the U.S. will do any good at all.


In the U.S. a chick can marry you, have your children divorce you and take half the marital assets and get state enforced child support. Then actually have a decent shot at marrying another guy that makes as much or more than you did...so he take care of her.


You could tell the coldest gold digging bitch in Colombia that story and she would shake her head in disbelief....But that is the norm here in America.


How is it even possible to prepare your average Colombiana for the astronomical increase in her marketability here.


Just hedge your bets and protect your assets as much as possible and just bring her here as fast as you can....if it doesn't work out....go back and get another one until it does.


In reality , in most states , province countries or other jurisdictions, they would be entitled to only  half of your assets accumulated after the date of the marriage...not assets gained before.

However the judge  (and or if she is on welfare , the federal authouirities) would almost certainly se are her alimony and Child support based :- on income. In the case of child support ( for your own biological children or others you have sponsored) you would be liable whether you were protected by a prenuptial or had your assets and income  in a trust, or under the name of a relative, allthough in the latter 2 cases it might make it more difficult for her to get  her hands  on the money..but if she was astute enough she eventually  could.

Having said that, there are several guys on this site (yourself included I believe and  severai others who will remain unmentioned) and guys who I have met in real life who have  imported Colombianas, it didnt work out , and the financial fall out was not catastrophic. This included one guy who importef a woman with 2 kids.The reasons why they were not financially drained varied..the woman went back to Colombia before she got a green card, she ended up with some other sucker, she was too dumb or lazy (or even "rightious" and "independent") to pursue her "rights , etc. , etc.

However, other guys "luck" does not detract from the potential risks one takes by importing a foreign bride, espescially if you include her children in the package.

I still believe living together for 6 Months in her own country  is better than just bringing her over "as quick as possible" at léast you can determine if you are really compatible and if she is the "loyal type " like Mamá, UC , Robert and others ended Up with.

However, what is by far the best solution and exposes you to the least risks, is to retire or work remotely in her country, or another country close ( say Chile or Ecuador in the case of Colombia or Hong Kong or Japan in the case of Philipines) .keep your assets in North America , bring her to US only on a visitors visa NEVER get a resident visa for her.

This trumps any Prenuptial or other idea that could be concocted by the sharpest Philedelfia Lawyer every time.