Cell Phone Spyware

[benjio]

I had a very interesting 4 hour conversation with a very good friend of mine last night. I met him in Brazil while living there and we’ve kept in touch since I moved back to the states. He’s an American from the midwest that was brought down as an structural engineering consultant working with a company that built some of the facilities for the World Cup and the Olympics. He still lives in Minas Gerais about 6 months per year. I hadn’t spoken to him in a while but he told me he was thinking about breaking it off with his Brazilian fiancé. She’s a Minera that lives in Belo Horizonte. Very pretty girl!!! Waaaay out of his league physically, but she’s always been a sweetheart IMHO. Even with a 17 year age gap I’ve always been fond of their relationship. He started having doubts months ago brought on by some odd changes in her routine and behavior. Her birthday was in May and he bought her an iPhone XS Max and an iPad with really nice customized cases and a mobile charger. He admitted to me last night that he bought these gifts with ulterior motives however. I told him about cell phone spyware a while back when we were joking about gringos hiring expensive private investigators to follow around their foreign girlfriends. With the technology available these days I can’t ever understand why a guy would do that. I would have never thought he go to such extremes though. They’ve always been a very happy couple. Things change.

Before buying these devices and bringing them to her in Brazil he installed an iTunes user profile based spyware application on both of them. I feel I need to mention that the spyware he used was iTunes based because the only way you can see what a person is doing on the iphone/ipad with this type of spyware is having access to the iTunes account associated with the device. There are much more expensive and complex versions of spyware that are not dependent on iTunes/iCloud accounts, but the former are the simplest to install and use. More on that later.

He set up an iTunes account for her, associated one of his credit cards with it and explained to her that he wanted her to be able to buy music, rent movies etc. on his card without worrying about cost. Of course she was absolutely thrilled with this idea! He told her she could change the password anytime, assuming she would never bother to. His assumption was correct. From the moment she started using the phone he could see her phone call history, duration of calls, text and Whatsapp messages, websites visited, anything saved to the cloud (pictures, videos, etc.), her GPS location in most cases and any wifi networks she connected to. Needless to say, he found out some very interesting things about the woman he plans to marry.

Let me first say that she has not physically cheated on him as far as he can tell because I know most of you think that’s what’s probably going on. There’s absolutely no evidence of that though. What she has been doing is communicating with an ex she had a very long relationship with years ago and lying to my friend about it. The emotional control some guys have over girls because of a past relationship baffles me sometimes, because it’s obvious what this guy is doing. On the weekends (Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays) he will send her Whatsapp messages early in the morning (between 2-4 am) begging to come and see her. I told my friend the guy is obviously leaving a club or bar where he’s struck out and he’s booty calling exes trying to get lucky. Of course he plays on her emotions, proclaiming his undying love for her and telling her how much he misses her. She always rejects his advances and suggest he find a ride to get home safe. But she also insist he let’s her know when he gets home and they continue talking for a while sometimes. She has explained to him several times that she is engaged and loves my friend, but she hasn’t blocked him and always responds to his messages. The ex-boyfriend is just the beginning....

Will finish this post tomorrow guys. Sorry...just got a phone call and we got servers crashing in Dubai. 

[mambocowboy]

I had a very interesting 4 hour conversation with a very good friend of mine last night. I met him in Brazil while living there and we’ve kept in touch since I moved back to the states. He’s an American from the midwest that was brought down as an structural engineering consultant working with a company that built some of the facilities for the World Cup and the Olympics. He still lives in Minas Gerais about 6 months per year. I hadn’t spoken to him in a while but he told me he was thinking about breaking it off with his Brazilian fiancé. She’s a Minera that lives in Belo Horizonte. Very pretty girl!!! Waaaay out of his league physically, but she’s always been a sweetheart IMHO. Even with a 17 year age gap I’ve always been fond of their relationship. He started having doubts months ago brought on by some odd changes in her routine and behavior. Her birthday was in May and he bought her an iPhone XS Max and an iPad with really nice customized cases and a mobile charger. He admitted to me last night that he bought these gifts with ulterior motives however. I told him about cell phone spyware a while back when we were joking about gringos hiring expensive private investigators to follow around their foreign girlfriends. With the technology available these days I can’t ever understand why a guy would do that. I would have never thought he go to such extremes though. They’ve always been a very happy couple. Things change.

Before buying these devices and bringing them to her in Brazil he installed an iTunes user profile based spyware application on both of them. I feel I need to mention that the spyware he used was iTunes based because the only way you can see what a person is doing on the iphone/ipad with this type of spyware is having access to the iTunes account associated with the device. There are much more expensive and complex versions of spyware that are not dependent on iTunes/iCloud accounts, but the former are the simplest to install and use. More on that later.

He set up an iTunes account for her, associated one of his credit cards with it and explained to her that he wanted her to be able to buy music, rent movies etc. on his card without worrying about cost. Of course she was absolutely thrilled with this idea! He told her she could change the password anytime, assuming she would never bother to. His assumption was correct. From the moment she started using the phone he could see her phone call history, duration of calls, text and Whatsapp messages, websites visited, anything saved to the cloud (pictures, videos, etc.), her GPS location in most cases and any wifi networks she connected to. Needless to say, he found out some very interesting things about the woman he plans to marry.

Let me first say that she has not physically cheated on him as far as he can tell because I know most of you think that’s what’s probably going on. There’s absolutely no evidence of that though. What she has been doing is communicating with an ex she had a very long relationship with years ago and lying to my friend about it. The emotional control some guys have over girls because of a past relationship baffles me sometimes, because it’s obvious what this guy is doing. On the weekends (Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays) he will send her Whatsapp messages early in the morning (between 2-4 am) begging to come and see her. I told my friend the guy is obviously leaving a club or bar where he’s struck out and he’s booty calling exes trying to get lucky. Of course he plays on her emotions, proclaiming his undying love for her and telling her how much he misses her. She always rejects his advances and suggest he find a ride to get home safe. But she also insist he let’s her know when he gets home and they continue talking for a while sometimes. She has explained to him several times that she is engaged and loves my friend, but she hasn’t blocked him and always responds to his messages. The ex-boyfriend is just the beginning....

Will finish this post tomorrow guys. Sorry...just got a phone call and we got servers crashing in Dubai. 

Fascinating. Shes actually being more respectful than most. I guess the gringo's upset she's lying to him. but until they're living together and fu----g regularly,  it's maybe unrealistic to expect her not even to talk to an ex...

[benjio]

His fiancé also lives a very active lifestyle and loves to swim, hike, play soccer, etc. Her body tells the story, BELIEVE ME!!! I’d give her around 5’6” 130 lbs. and her lower body is pure muscle. I’d never tell my friend out of respect for him but I can’t help but check out her a$$ sometimes. She looks AWESOME in jeans!!!! A few months ago she started a new job and inevitably slacked up on working out so she joined a local gym. It’s expensive, but she’s paying for it herself. The first few months she was whining to him a bit about seeing other girls in the gym with the body types she wanted and not being able to reach those goals even though she was working very hard. I want to remind you guys that the standards for feminine beauty in Brazil are out of this world. Most women there are insecure at some level even if they are exceptionally beautiful. My friend, being the man he is, told her the dumb $hit we think all women want to hear: “I love you the way you are.” Just to reiterate, women don’t want to hear that [snip] guys. Two months ago she hired a personal trainer. She didn’t mention it to my friend so he looked the person up. As can be expected, the guy’s a gotdamn adonis. Tall, super ripped, low body fat and handsome. He advertises on instagram and my friend says it looks like the only people he trains are attractive women.

My friend asked his girl about how her progress was going in the gym a couple of weeks ago. She said she was finally starting to see a big difference. He mentioned that maybe she should get a personal trainer and she adamantly claimed she didn’t need one. You can just imagine what went through my friends head after hearing this. The trainer isn’t cheap either. My friend didn’t give me exact numbers but he said she was spending about 15% of her income on personal training 3 times a week. That with her gym membership eats a third of her salary. The worse thing is the pictures!!!! Remember my friend can see all the pictures she saves to the cloud. Most are innocent. A lot with relatives, friends and girls she works with. But she also has a lot of pictures with the trainer (always in the gym) AND OF HIM!!!! Not pictures she took, but pictures she’s saved from his instagram page to her phone.

I told my friend, “Look...guys do that type of stuff all the time. We admire the beauty of other women even though we love our significant others.” But this has obviously made him feel a bit insecure which is understandable. He also told me the trainer sends her inappropriate comments via Whatsapp. He talks about how much sexier her a$$ is getting and says things like, “Forgive me if I do anything unprofessional while we’re training but it’s so hard to keep my hands such a beautiful girl.” Until now, she has only responded with smiley face emojis in response. And again, she has told this personal trainer about my friend and their plans to get married. She has not mentioned the trainer to my friend. And he asks about her gym progress ALL THE TIME!!!

More to come...

[mambocowboy]

His fiancé also lives a very active lifestyle and loves to swim, hike, play soccer, etc. Her body tells the story, BELIEVE ME!!! I’d give her around 5’6” 130 lbs. and her lower body is pure muscle. I’d never tell my friend out of respect for him but I can’t help but check out her a$$ sometimes. She looks AWESOME in jeans!!!! A few months ago she started a new job and inevitably slacked up on working out so she joined a local gym. It’s expensive, but she’s paying for it herself. The first few months she was whining to him a bit about seeing other girls in the gym with the body types she wanted and not being able to reach those goals even though she was working very hard. I want to remind you guys that the standards for feminine beauty in Brazil are out of this world. Most women there are insecure at some level even if they are exceptionally beautiful. My friend, being the man he is, told her the dumb $hit we think all women want to hear: “I love you the way you are.” Just to reiterate, women don’t want to hear that [snip] guys. Two months ago she hired a personal trainer. She didn’t mention it to my friend so he looked the person up. As can be expected, the guy’s a gotdamn adonis. Tall, super ripped, low body fat and handsome. He advertises on instagram and my friend says it looks like the only people he trains are attractive women.

My friend asked his girl about how her progress was going in the gym a couple of weeks ago. She said she was finally starting to see a big difference. He mentioned that maybe she should get a personal trainer and she adamantly claimed she didn’t need one. You can just imagine what went through my friends head after hearing this. The trainer isn’t cheap either. My friend didn’t give me exact numbers but he said she was spending about 15% of her income on personal training 3 times a week. That with her gym membership eats a third of her salary. The worse thing is the pictures!!!! Remember my friend can see all the pictures she saves to the cloud. Most are innocent. A lot with relatives, friends and girls she works with. But she also has a lot of pictures with the trainer (always in the gym) AND OF HIM!!!! Not pictures she took, but pictures she’s saved from his instagram page to her phone.

I told my friend, “Look...guys do that type of stuff all the time. We admire the beauty of other women even though we love our significant others.” But this has obviously made him feel a bit insecure which is understandable. He also told me the trainer sends her inappropriate comments via Whatsapp. He talks about how much sexier her a$$ is getting and says things like, “Forgive me if I do anything unprofessional while we’re training but it’s so hard to keep my hands such a beautiful girl.” Until now, she has only responded with smiley face emojis in response. And again, she has told this personal trainer about my friend and their plans to get married. She has not mentioned the trainer to my friend. And he asks about her gym progress ALL THE TIME!!!

More to come...

This gringo seems to think shes  his woman. If she's paying for the training herself, in her mind she doesn't have a man to be loyal to. ..and the attention from males she gets in Brazil would be more intense in the US ...

[benjio]

The third and most disturbing thing he’s discovered is his fiancé occasionally uses cocaine. She doesn’t go out much. Maybe once a month. But when she does her and her friends will pool money and buy some blow to party that night. He told me it seems innocent. The messages between her and her friends joke about using it to stay thin, and to stay up longer after drinking a lot of booze at clubs; and his fiancé has expressed she’s not always comfortable with it. But it is what it is. Their dealer seems to be a relative of one of her friends (at least according to what he’s read) so he thinks there isn’t any danger there. It’s still bothering him quite a bit though. He doesn’t want to bring a girl here that’s an addict and he’s worried about her getting caught. As you all probably know, getting a drug charge in Brazil could ruin their chances of getting a K1, so obviously this troubles him. Again, I told him I think he’s overreacting a bit.

So three things I take from all this:

I think if any of us were able to look through the phones of our significant others we’d find some things that bothered us. I don’t think what he did was a good idea, but my friend has done very well for himself in the U.S. and he’s afraid of marrying the wrong girl. His apprehension maybe my fault at some levels because for some odd reason I love telling guys foreign wife horror stories. Even though I know plenty of guys that are happy with their foreign wives. The worse thing is regardless of what he’s found he can NEVER tell her he was spying on her. I know her well enough to know she probably wouldn’t forgive him for this and he’s of the same opinion. So at this point he’s looking at it like break everything off or forget about what he’s learned and roll the dice without her ever knowing her head was on the chopping block.

Second, I feel all women adore attention and “monkey bar” at some level. Especially any woman that’s been heartbroken. The ex isn’t exactly a threat, but I feel like after long relationships, even more so if it was a girl’s first love that broke her virginity, ghere’s always some place in her heart for the guy. She’s attracted to the personal trainer obviously and I think that’s just human. But my friend told me he thinks this may be her attempt at a last fling. One last crazy night of sex with a dreamy guy before she settles down. I told him he could be right! That happens a lot more than women will ever admit.

Cell phone spyware, depending on how much you want to pay for it and your tech savvy, can be a very informative tool for guys in this situation. Everything she has done is excusable in my opinion. But if she was like a lot of the other women friends of mine have dated, he would have figured out she wasn’t the one immediately. There are much more powerful apps that can be purchased that require a bit more knowledge and work. But they are available, up until the point of listening to every phone call. If anyone’s interested in those PM me, but my advice would be to stay away. I’ve dated girls in Latin America that made me feel uneasy and most of the times I listened to my gut. At this point if there’s any doubt I’d rather just move on. To each his own though.

I look forward to everyone’s opinions. As usual I invite guys here, they start reading and refuse to post personal experiences. Same thing happened with him, but I did ask him could I write about him anonymously which he had no problem with.

[benjio]

Fascinating. Shes actually being more respectful than most. I guess the gringo's upset she's lying to him. but until they're living together and fu----g regularly,  it's maybe unrealistic to expect her not even to talk to an ex...

He’s down there quite a bit Mambo. I would say that for most of the year she’s definitely not “sex starved.” But yeah....the lying is killing him!!! But I honestly think all young, attractive women do this at some level.

[mambocowboy]

He’s down there quite a bit Mambo. I would say that for most of the year she’s definitely not “sex starved.” But yeah....the lying is killing him!!! But I honestly think all young, attractive women do this at some level.

I think the lying is normal. But the cocaine makes me really nervous. I also think 17 years is a big age difference in the US. She will have so much temptation in the US...

[mudd]

time for your friend to cut bait and move on. many Latinas have their ex novios  in their whatsapp, even my ex had it, under a code name.


 for some reason, these type of   girls just cant let go, even when their  ex is garbage and a POS

[Elexpatriado]

time for your friend to cut bait and move on. many Latinas have their ex novios  in their whatsapp, even my ex had it, under a code name.


 for some reason, these type of   girls just cant let go, even when their  ex is garbage and a POS

I think the big thing is not living together and being away 6 months, THey should be hikong and swimming and going to the gym together.


The Cocaine thing though should be a game ender.

[mambocowboy]

I think the big thing is not living together and being away 6 months, THey should be hikong and swimming and going to the gym together.


The Cocaine thing though should be a game ender.

In addition to the fact it's so addictive,  it also suggests shes an adrenaline junkie and likely to stray...

[benjio]

I think the lying is normal. But the cocaine makes me really nervous. I also think 17 years is a big age difference in the US. She will have so much temptation in the US...

Not to ignore the age difference, but he’s about to be 46 and she is 29. So she’s not some barely legal tweener that would come with an entirely different set of problems once they got to the states. I know her. She’s mature and I believe she loves him, but I also think this is what comes with most long distance relationships. Most guys just don’t want to admit it to themselves. She’s f@cking smoking hot; and I told him he’s going to have to deal with that. Ohio IS NOT Minas. She’ll get tons of attention and there will be a lot more temptation from guys that are younger and better looking. I have a friend in Houston with a really hot wife from Barranquilla and he says the worst part is taking her out and groups of guys disrespecting him. Hitting on her in front of him because it’s just him and they’re with 4 or 5 buddies. He’s always trying to get me to double-date with him for that very reason.

I don’t think she’s addicted to coke and would probably never do it again if they got married. That’s just my opinion though...as far as we know she might be taking a bump every hour on the hour in a bathroom stall at work.

Again, the worst part is my friend can’t talk to her about any of this stuff.

[Elexpatriado]

Not to ignore the age difference, but he’s about to be 46 and she is 29. So she’s not some barely legal tweener that would come with an entirely different set of problems once they got to the states. I know her. She’s mature and I believe she loves him, but I also think this is what comes with most long distance relationships. Most guys just don’t want to admit it to themselves. She’s f@cking smoking hot; and I told him he’s going to have to deal with that. Ohio IS NOT Minas. She’ll get tons of attention and there will be a lot more temptation from guys that are younger and better looking. I have a friend in Houston with a really hot wife from Barranquilla and he says the worst part is taking her out and groups of guys disrespecting him. Hitting on her in front of him because it’s just him and they’re with 4 or 5 buddies. He’s always trying to get me to double-date with him for that very reason.

I don’t think she’s addicted to coke and would probably never do it again if they got married. That’s just my opinion though...as far as we know she might be taking a bump every hour on the hour in a bathroom stall at work.

Again, the worst part is my friend can’t talk to her about any of this stuff.

Problem is guys in the US and Europe and elsewhere are so desperate ..only feminists, BBWs and sheep available

Just think.if a guy was working in Dubai.and took his wife there.all those rich Arabs tired of shagin camels...those guys are real.pigs..they even go after guys and gals equally

[ignorante]

Thanks, benjio.  Best content that has been posted here in a long while.

[mambocowboy]

Not to ignore the age difference, but he’s about to be 46 and she is 29. So she’s not some barely legal tweener that would come with an entirely different set of problems once they got to the states. I know her. She’s mature and I believe she loves him, but I also think this is what comes with most long distance relationships. Most guys just don’t want to admit it to themselves. She’s f@cking smoking hot; and I told him he’s going to have to deal with that. Ohio IS NOT Minas. She’ll get tons of attention and there will be a lot more temptation from guys that are younger and better looking. I have a friend in Houston with a really hot wife from Barranquilla and he says the worst part is taking her out and groups of guys disrespecting him. Hitting on her in front of him because it’s just him and they’re with 4 or 5 buddies. He’s always trying to get me to double-date with him for that very reason.

I don’t think she’s addicted to coke and would probably never do it again if they got married. That’s just my opinion though...as far as we know she might be taking a bump every hour on the hour in a bathroom stall at work.

Again, the worst part is my friend can’t talk to her about any of this stuff.

Your friend has already created the policing dynamic as well as keeping secrets.  They both keep secrets from each other ALREADY; not a good foundation for a marriage...

[robert angel]

Not to ignore the age difference, but he’s about to be 46 and she is 29. So she’s not some barely legal tweener that would come with an entirely different set of problems once they got to the states. I know her. She’s mature and I believe she loves him, but I also think this is what comes with most long distance relationships. Most guys just don’t want to admit it to themselves. She’s f@cking smoking hot; and I told him he’s going to have to deal with that. Ohio IS NOT Minas. She’ll get tons of attention and there will be a lot more temptation from guys that are younger and better looking. I have a friend in Houston with a really hot wife from Barranquilla and he says the worst part is taking her out and groups of guys disrespecting him. Hitting on her in front of him because it’s just him and they’re with 4 or 5 buddies. He’s always trying to get me to double-date with him for that very reason.

I don’t think she’s addicted to coke and would probably never do it again if they got married. That’s just my opinion though...as far as we know she might be taking a bump every hour on the hour in a bathroom stall at work.

Again, the worst part is my friend can’t talk to her about any of this stuff.

While the axiom "All's fair in love and war" is still true, the tools, in this case spyware embedded in gift cellfones and  tablets, proves the weapons and ways are always changing.

I don't know the culture in which she lives, but here or there, I can't say "Yeah for sure, dump her" based on what I think I read.

I think it's normal (especially for guys like us in such situations involving distance) to wish we had some secret 'Intel' reassuring us that the woman we place in 1st place on our GF/wife list is not lying or cheating on us.

The situation here is still in play, but I don't recall any reporting that this chica has left any big red flags, like texts saying "Home@11-hot-can hardly wait"...

I never endorse opposite sex 'personal' trainers. It just opens a door you might come to regret.

My age spread against my wife's is quite a bit wider. I literally went two years after she accepted my marriage proposal, leaving her on the other side of the planet, not working and in a big, busy city, so I can relate to this guy's ummm "curiosity"...

I dare (as do others) say my wife looks 15 years younger than her real age. Guys can't help but try and get a look at her. Her eyes on me only, but I get to look and flirt.

In Europe this summer, like here, some thought she was Latina, Thai, Filipino--it's funny to watch..

There and here, when (not commonly needed)  a guy/s start to look TOO intently, I give a quick 'death stare glance' combined w/ my body language, let's the boys know who the Alpha Dog is.

As mentioned, if you're worried about the other guys now, and you're figuring on bringing her to the USA-- you ain't seen nothing yet!!

So far, given the surveillance methods described here, no harm, no foul, but if I pulled this before or now and my wife found out, I'd get this (she's wearing zero make up) 100% annoyed look again:

[benjio]

Your friend has already created the policing dynamic as well as keeping secrets.  They both keep secrets from each other ALREADY; not a good foundation for a marriage...

Good point. I think if we could crunch the numbers though, I’d say your average Latina with an older boyfriend in the U.S. or Europe, has a lot more to hide from him than he has to hide from her. I’m not sure why but most men can’t wrap their head around the idea that women are sexual beings. Even more than us in my opinion. I don’t care how much she loves you or if she’s forever faithful. She’s seen some guy, somewhere at some point and thought about him bending her over the kitchen counter and ravaging her from behind. It’s only human. I think women that are happy in their relationships are much less likely to act on thoughts like that, but the distance and a much lower risk of getting caught only decreases their inhibition.

[mambocowboy]

Good point. I think if we could crunch the numbers though, I’d say your average Latina with an older boyfriend in the U.S. or Europe, has a lot more to hide from him than he has to hide from her. I’m not sure why but most men can’t wrap their head around the idea that women are sexual beings. Even more than us in my opinion. I don’t care how much she loves you or if she’s forever faithful. She’s seen some guy, somewhere at some point and thought about him bending her over the kitchen counter and ravaging her from behind. It’s only human. I think women that are happy in their relationships are much less likely to act on thoughts like that, but the distance and a much lower risk of getting caught only decreases their inhibition.

He may have less to hide, but I think the dynamic of him checking in on her would only intensify in the States....

[robert angel]

He may have less to hide, but I think the dynamic of him checking in on her would only intensify in the States....

Once you go this way it's often a slippery slope. I didn't have such options and I'm glad I didn't have them with my wife.  Over the years, we've let each other in on some histories that we wouldn't have earlier and there's probably family secrets, as well as past relationships, still unmentioned--maybe with time...

But then, now or later, I don't think if more 'truth' came light, that it'd mess us up.

But I think she'd be pissed if I told her that years ago I planted spyware in her phone. I'd be p.o.'d if I was the unsuspecting victim.

Somethings are better left unsaid.

Remember the ancient Greek tale of the Trojan horse? This reminds me of that 'gift'--- except the ulterior motive within has a different dormancy period. 
Nonetheless, destruction could result.

Our founding fathers wrote a constitution giving freedom of speech and the right to bear arms, never envisioning the likes of cellfones, FB, Instagram, 'intellectual property'---or AR15s and 5.7x28 pistols.

I'm generally against more govt regulation , but I do have issues with my personal habits being watched, bought and sold with impunity. Or with anyone taking my guns.

And although this chica may never know (and just as well) what went down, in my 1st marriage I learned all too well that things left untold CAN come out later,  eventually causing a whole lotta hell when they do.

And the dirt usually comes out when your relationship needs it the least.


Imagine ten years from now, he comes home to this woman--to his wife and kids. He's had a few drinks and for the umpteenth time, she gives him grief. Tit for tat time, drunk he blurts out:


"Like you're an angel?? And you think I didn't know about you, your 'friends' and your cocaine parties???"


Then, the china cabinet is unloaded as piece by piece, they're thrown, shattering, just like their relationship.

[benjio]

Imagine ten years from now, he comes home to this woman--to his wife and kids. He's had a few drinks and for the umpteenth time, she gives him grief. Tit for tat time, drunk he blurts out:


"Like you're an angel?? And you think I didn't know about you, your 'friends' and your cocaine parties???"


Then, the china cabinet is unloaded as piece by piece, they're thrown, shattering, just like their relationship.

I think it’s almost guaranteed this will happen. Especially the way Latinas argue, bringing up all your past transgressions all at once to vilify you regardless of the actual subject matter of the conflict.

[Elexpatriado]

I think it’s almost guaranteed this will happen. Especially the way Latinas argue, bringing up all your past transgressions all at once to vilify you regardless of the actual subject matter of the conflict.

Well he could bring it up in a different way..saying a friend who knew her group of people and thier habits told him.

[Fosgate5]

I'd ask your friend to check his own web browser history and see how much he would not want his mother or fiance to see. Glass houses so to speak. He may as let her read his "diary" while he is at it (if he keeps one). "Because he's concerned.." "Wants to make sure..." that's a load of BS and a piss poor excuse that women also use to spy on their men simply that they don't trust them. He's the one that has violated the foundation of their relationship. If he can't ignore it and opens his mouth to her or his pals he may as well end it if she doesn't. Resentment in him will just build and he'll hold that against her and become more of a control freak. I personally would not tolerate my wife keeping tabs on me like that.


So what if she has done a little blow every now and then. It's not like it's heroin, crack, meth etc. Cocaine is more common than one thinks as people turn away from other party pill drugs that may be laces with fentanyl.


Sounds like she is doing the best she can while in a long distance relationship and look her best for him when he does get there or she leaves for the US.

[benjio]

I'd ask your friend to check his own web browser history and see how much he would not want his mother or fiance to see. Glass houses so to speak. He may as let her read his "diary" while he is at it (if he keeps one). "Because he's concerned.." "Wants to make sure..." that's a load of BS and a piss poor excuse that women also use to spy on their men simply that they don't trust them. He's the one that has violated the foundation of their relationship. If he can't ignore it and opens his mouth to her or his pals he may as well end it if she doesn't. Resentment in him will just build and he'll hold that against her and become more of a control freak. I personally would not tolerate my wife keeping tabs on me like that.


So what if she has done a little blow every now and then. It's not like it's heroin, crack, meth etc. Cocaine is more common than one thinks as people turn away from other party pill drugs that may be laces with fentanyl.


Sounds like she is doing the best she can while in a long distance relationship and look her best for him when he does get there or she leaves for the US.

All good points I agree with. I’d NEVER recommend a man or woman doing something like this. Like I said, if your gut is telling you something that’s bothering that much, time to end it.

[mambocowboy]

All good points I agree with. I’d NEVER recommend a man or woman doing something like this. Like I said, if your gut is telling you something that’s bothering that much, time to end it.

Exactly.

[robert angel]

All good points I agree with. I’d NEVER recommend a man or woman doing something like this. Like I said, if your gut is telling you something that’s bothering that much, time to end it.

True as ever:

"It all comes out in the wash"

--some things just take a little longer...

[mudd]

trust but verify.


 but gut feelings are usually correct. usually just the tip of the iceberg. every man has to decide, what he will accept in a relationship and what he wont.  some will accept ALOT    just so they wont be alone

[Oiga!]

The best solution for him is to knock her up right away. I think that's what former poster Dallas Steve did. Should keep her out of the bars.

[benjio]

All good now according to my friend. She told him about the ex contacting her while he was there over Thanksgiving. Apparently the personal trainer is gay (Not sure about that one), and he hasn’t seen any coke messages for a while. So maybe our own paranoia makes us so apprehensive about a good thing we try and find some way to ruin it. I dunno. Like I said...always seemed like a perfectly happy couple. You see two people together and you just know. Will things change once she gets to the states? Maybe! But I think a lot of the guys I talk to and even some men here get completely paranoid or even completely turned off on a really good thing because of fear. Fortune favors the bold my friends. You want a gorgeous, young, foreign wife that loves the skid marks in your underwear you’re gonna have to walk through fire and probably get burned!! For those guys that had the balls here...kudos to you. For all the others, roll the fu?king dice. Who knows? You may be writing a success story instead of a nightmare.

Happy Holidays Gentlemen. Stay safe out there.

[robert angel]

The best solution for him is to knock her up right away. I think that's what former poster Dallas Steve did. Should keep her out of the bars.

For 9 months maybe.

[robert angel]

All good now according to my friend. She told him about the ex contacting her while he was there over Thanksgiving. Apparently the personal trainer is gay (Not sure about that one), and he hasn’t seen any coke messages for a while. So maybe our own paranoia makes us so apprehensive about a good thing we try and find some way to ruin it. I dunno. Like I said...always seemed like a perfectly happy couple. You see two people together and you just know. Will things change once she gets to the states? Maybe! But I think a lot of the guys I talk to and even some men here get completely paranoid or even completely turned off on a really good thing because of fear. Fortune favors the bold my friends. You want a gorgeous, young, foreign wife that loves the skid marks in your underwear you’re gonna have to walk through fire and probably get burned!! For those guys that had the balls here...kudos to you. For all the others, roll the fu?king dice. Who knows? You may be writing a success story instead of a nightmare.

Happy Holidays Gentlemen. Stay safe out there.

Happy Holidays to all as well. My son graduates from UGA Dec 13th and he has a job at the place he interned at the last 2 summers, something to do with the computer cloud, starting at $96,000. And more importantly, he LIKES his job!

Enjoying a week on Florida's Siesta Key with my wife, who as seen in my avatar,  looks like  and even weighs the same as she did ten years ago.

I'm not sure how she does it, putting up with me, keeping me fit and healthy (well, trying anyway) but I'm thankful that life here hasn't changed her in any major way.

Maybe too many shoes, lol...

But here or abroad, finding the right lady and marrying isn't for the naive or faint of heart. Maintaining a relationship anywhere takes measured thought.

You have to admit when you're really, really wrong and 'meet in the middle' on some issues, BUT without her thinking you're a pushover.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" (Wayne Gretzky)

Now, if UGA can somehow whip those LSU Tigers Saturday,  this may be my best December yet!!

[robert angel]

All good now according to my friend. She told him about the ex contacting her while he was there over Thanksgiving. Apparently the personal trainer is gay (Not sure about that one), and he hasn’t seen any coke messages for a while. So maybe our own paranoia makes us so apprehensive about a good thing we try and find some way to ruin it. I dunno. Like I said...always seemed like a perfectly happy couple. You see two people together and you just know. Will things change once she gets to the states? Maybe! But I think a lot of the guys I talk to and even some men here get completely paranoid or even completely turned off on a really good thing because of fear. Fortune favors the bold my friends. You want a gorgeous, young, foreign wife that loves the skid marks in your underwear you’re gonna have to walk through fire and probably get burned!! For those guys that had the balls here...kudos to you. For all the others, roll the fu?king dice. Who knows? You may be writing a success story instead of a nightmare.

Happy Holidays Gentlemen. Stay safe out there.

Happy Holidays to all as well. My son graduates from UGA Dec 13th and he has a job at the place he interned at the last 2 summers, something to do with the computer cloud, starting at $96,000. And more importantly, he LIKES his job!

Enjoying a week on Florida's Siesta Key with my wife, who as seen in my avatar,  looks like  and even weighs the same as she did ten years ago.

I'm not sure how she does it, putting up with me, keeping me fit and healthy (well, trying anyway) but I'm thankful that life here hasn't changed her in any major way.

Maybe too many shoes, lol...

But here or abroad, finding the right lady and marrying isn't for the naive or faint of heart. Maintaining a relationship anywhere takes measured thought.

You have to admit when you're really, really wrong and 'meet in the middle' on some issues, BUT without her thinking you're a pushover.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" (Wayne Gretzky)

Now, if UGA can somehow whip those LSU Tigers Saturday,  this may be my best December yet!!

[robert angel]

Weird, 'server issues' double post...

[robert angel]

Enjoying a week on Florida's Siesta Key with my wife, who as seen in my avatar,  looks like  and even weighs the same as she did ten years ago.

I'm not sure how she does it, putting up with me, keeping me fit and healthy (well, trying anyway) but I'm thankful that life here hasn't changed her in any major way.

Maybe too many shoes, lol...

But here or abroad, finding the right lady and marrying isn't for the naive or faint of heart. Maintaining a relationship anywhere takes measured thought.

You have to admit when you're really, really wrong and 'meet in the middle' on some issues, BUT without her thinking you're a pushover.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" (Wayne Gretzky)

Now, if UGA can somehow whip those LSU Tigers Saturday,  this may be my best December yet!!

Sometimes (prolly almost all the time) I am positive,  perhaps even to the point of sounding gloating about my marriage,  about my wonderful wife....

But I was married before to a woman from the same country for 14 years, and after just a few years and with two kids, it was bad. No infidelities,  but it was cold.

So right now my record's 50 - 50.

That said, God forbid I screw this up (and our huge difference in age is ever more apparent) I'd go back to the same place, lessons learned, hoping to find a diamond twice.

Never quit!

[benjio]

Happy Holidays to all as well. My son graduates from UGA Dec 13th and he has a job at the place he interned at the last 2 summers, something to do with the computer cloud, starting at $96,000. And more importantly, he LIKES job!

Robert,

If he hasn’t already tell him to get into AZURE. Once he gets a little experience under his belt and a few certs he can make a $hit ton more than $96K!!!

[Calipro]

For 9 months maybe.

jajaja


Then they the poor sex starved gringos will be fighting of a single mother with a new born.


It really is hard to watch how American guys can be such beta wimps.


When I'm 62 my wife will be 36 and I plan on moving back to the states.


And I already know what I'm going to say to any guy that comes knocking when we are living in the USA.


I'm just going to ask them if this is the best they can do. Why not look for a woman that doesn't have a child?
Or are you really prepared to live and help a child that isn't yours just to get a bit better looking woman. jajaja
Talk about paying for it.
And think of the torment and frustration you will feel having an [snip] like me knocking on your door and spending Christmas and holidays together. jajaja
And then I will tell them I know where they can get an even hotter chick with no kids.


My child living with a step dad isn't really an option....My wife knows that..... but you never know what will happen when you bring a chick to the USA.


American guys like to complain about American women....but the truth is .....American women are a product of their environment. Guys should just stop living with and marrying women that have children with another guy....that would cut the divorce rate in half in the US.


If you told the biggest gold digger in Colombia that it was possible in the USA to divorce your husband take half of his assets and then have the state sue him for child support at no cost to them.....plus have a good shot of remarry another guy that would also help raise and support your children....the gold digging Colombiana would just shake her head in disbelief.


American guys need to get some self respect. I regularly see decent looking guys half my age with women I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Or they are hooked up with some gringa that is just using them to raise her children she had with the Alpha male and is now letting the beta provider take over.


Robert I hope you have talked to your sons about having some kind of standards when it come to the women they date.


When I see guys that go for damaged women or women that have children instead of looking for a woman that doesn't have children or some other defect. I think of this farside cartoon.

[benjio]

jajaja


Then they the poor sex starved gringos will be fighting of a single mother with a new born.


It really is hard to watch how American guys can be such beta wimps.


When I'm 62 my wife will be 36 and I plan on moving back to the states.


And I already know what I'm going to say to any guy that comes knocking when we are living in the USA.


I'm just going to ask them if this is the best they can do. Why not look for a woman that doesn't have a child?
Or are you really prepared to live and help a child that isn't yours just to get a bit better looking woman. jajaja
Talk about paying for it.
And think of the torment and frustration you will feel having an [snip] like me knocking on your door and spending Christmas and holidays together. jajaja
And then I will tell them I know where they can get an even hotter chick with no kids.


My child living with a step dad isn't really an option....My wife knows that..... but you never know what will happen when you bring a chick to the USA.


American guys like to complain about American women....but the truth is .....American women are a product of their environment. Guys should just stop living with and marrying women that have children with another guy....that would cut the divorce rate in half in the US.


If you told the biggest gold digger in Colombia that it was possible in the USA to divorce your husband take half of his assets and then have the state sue him for child support at no cost to them.....plus have a good shot of remarry another guy that would also help raise and support your children....the gold digging Colombiana would just shake her head in disbelief.


American guys need to get some self respect. I regularly see decent looking guys half my age with women I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Or they are hooked up with some gringa that is just using them to raise her children she had with the Alpha male and is now letting the beta provider take over.


Robert I hope you have talked to your sons about having some kind of standards when it come to the women they date.


When I see guys that go for damaged women or women that have children instead of looking for a woman that doesn't have children or some other defect. I think of this farside cartoon.

Once again, CaliPro with a jewel. There aren’t many guys posting here anymore but he’s one of the guys I feel aren’t so jaded they completely dismiss the idea of foreign wives, but are realistic enough to recognize the risks and accept them.

The problem in the states is beauty has been completely monetized. You meet a pretty girl in Miami, NYC, Houston, Atlanta, wherever...and there’s an overwhelming sense of entitlement with them. When in reality, thinking globally, beauty isn’t nearly as valuable as most gringos think. It’s EVERYWHERE!!!

Not sure it’s a frame of mind that can be corrected. I’m just glad I realized the odds are stll hardly in women’s favor if you’re willing to hop on a plane.

[Elexpatriado]

The best solution for him is to knock her up right away. I think that's what former poster Dallas Steve did. Should keep her out of the bars.

Nope..not Steve. His wife has a kid from a former marriage who is a vagrant.

Must be thinking of someone else..

[Elexpatriado]

jajaja


Then they the poor sex starved gringos will be fighting of a single mother with a new born.


It really is hard to watch how American guys can be such beta wimps.


When I'm 62 my wife will be 36 and I plan on moving back to the states.


And I already know what I'm going to say to any guy that comes knocking when we are living in the USA.


I'm just going to ask them if this is the best they can do. Why not look for a woman that doesn't have a child?
Or are you really prepared to live and help a child that isn't yours just to get a bit better looking woman. jajaja
Talk about paying for it.
And think of the torment and frustration you will feel having an [snip] like me knocking on your door and spending Christmas and holidays together. jajaja
And then I will tell them I know where they can get an even hotter chick with no kids.


My child living with a step dad isn't really an option....My wife knows that..... but you never know what will happen when you bring a chick to the USA.


American guys like to complain about American women....but the truth is .....American women are a product of their environment. Guys should just stop living with and marrying women that have children with another guy....that would cut the divorce rate in half in the US.


If you told the biggest gold digger in Colombia that it was possible in the USA to divorce your husband take half of his assets and then have the state sue him for child support at no cost to them.....plus have a good shot of remarry another guy that would also help raise and support your children....the gold digging Colombiana would just shake her head in disbelief.


American guys need to get some self respect. I regularly see decent looking guys half my age with women I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Or they are hooked up with some gringa that is just using them to raise her children she had with the Alpha male and is now letting the beta provider take over.


Robert I hope you have talked to your sons about having some kind of standards when it come to the women they date.


When I see guys that go for damaged women or women that have children instead of looking for a woman that doesn't have children or some other defect. I think of this farside cartoon.

Good one Calip. Even MUDD would like it.

Spending 150 mil or even 200 mil on supper and drinks seems pretty tame compared to the millions you could lose linking up with a gringa or Euro women or Aussie women in your home country. Or even bringing a Colombiana to your home country.

I know guys that.have lost over a milion in court too thier exes.

Just look what Canadian men over 65  have to contend with.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-why-women-over-65-are-going-it-alone/

I am staying in Colombia forever. If I have to leave I will go to another Latin country.Never go back to Canada to live.MAYBE to die

[Oiga!]

"Nope..not Steve. His wife has a kid from a former marriage who is a vagrant.Must be thinking of someone else.."

You know you may be right, I might have been thinking of a guy who married a girl from Barranquilla. I think he put her on hold for a while because she didn't learn English.

[Hector_Lavoe]

Interesting story Benjio. All things considered, sounds like your buddy met a good (loyal) woman.

I think I told this story once before on P.L. About 18 months ago I had a date with this 27/28 year old Latina here in the U.S. She has an older brother who is a cop. I think he is about 40. He married a young girl here in the states who is about 12 to 15 years younger.

Suffice it to say they didn't have kids (yet) and the cop did pretty well for himself so his young wife just stayed home and didn't work. According to the Latina I dated, the cop bought his wife a nice car and was PAYING for her personal trainer.

Well, the personal trainer was a guy. And the cop found out his young wife was cheating with the trainer. To the cop's credit, he ENDED the marriage almost immediately.

[Elexpatriado]

Interesting story Benjio. All things considered, sounds like your buddy met a good (loyal) woman.

I think I told this story once before on P.L. About 18 months ago I had a date with this 27/28 year old Latina here in the U.S. She has an older brother who is a cop. I think he is about 40. He married a young girl here in the states who is about 12 to 15 years younger.

Suffice it to say they didn't have kids (yet) and the cop did pretty well for himself so his young wife just stayed home and didn't work. According to the Latina I dated, the cop bought his wife a nice car and was PAYING for her personal trainer.

Well, the personal trainer was a guy. And the cop found out his young wife was cheating with the trainer. To the cop's credit, he ENDED the marriage almost immediately.

There you go ..you guys bring a "hot" Latina  woman to the States with all these sheep shaggin hound dogs around and expect her to be loyal??

[benjio]

There you go ..you guys bring a "hot" Latina  woman to the States with all these sheep shaggin hound dogs around and expect her to be loyal??

Depends on the woman, the man bringing her stateside, the health of the relationship and the situation. It’s a case by case kinda thing, but fundamentally I agree with you. It’s not worth the risk. And honestly even starting a family with her won’t matter. If she’s attractive there are plenty of men that will be more than willing to raise your children just to have your hot wife on his arm.

[Elexpatriado]

Depends on the woman, the man bringing her stateside, the health of the relationship and the situation. It’s a case by case kinda thing, but fundamentally I agree with you. It’s not worth the risk. And honestly even starting a family with her won’t matter. If she’s attractive there are plenty of men that will be more than willing to raise your children just to have your hot wife on his arm.

I have a technicsl question for  you Benjio' as a systems expert and anyone else who has experimented with "Sptware" (eg MUDD).

So you buy her a celphone with spyware. Whats to.prevent her from finding out? These girls are pretty tech savy. Maybe she senses something wrong..phone really slow..she takes it a tech and he tells her"someone put spyware on your phone"
What is to prevent that from happening?

[benjio]

I have a technicsl question for  you Benjio' as a systems expert and anyone else who has experimented with "Sptware" (eg MUDD).

So you buy her a celphone with spyware. Whats to.prevent her from finding out? These girls are pretty tech savy. Maybe she senses something wrong..phone really slow..she takes it a tech and he tells her"someone put spyware on your phone"
What is to prevent that from happening?

Awesome questions!!! And I wanted to go a little more into how all this works as you can probably tell from my first post in this thread, but I honestly thought I’d bore everyone with the tech BS. Cell phone spyware’s most important feature is how clandestine it is. They all do the same thing technically: allow an individual without direct access to the device to see everything the phone’s user is doing without the spy’s target knowing they’re being monitored. There are varying levels to how undetectable they are and that’s usually based on how these apps manage to take what’s supposed to be private data and making it available through a peripheral portal or source.

The iTunes based applications are so effective because they utilize functionality already programmed into the phone. Unless a user opts out (hardly anyone does) all the core data and settings on your phone are backed up to iCloud at predefined intervals. All the spyware is doing is taking these backed up files, copying them somewhere else and organizing them into a format someone can comprehend without having access to the device they came from. The information is usually accessible through a website after that. There is absolutely no noticeable difference in latency or performance because the phone is constantly performing this task anyway...usually in the wee hours of the morning when it assumes the owner is sleep. There’s also no difference in how the phone normally functions. None whatsoever. So even a tech that could find spyware would have to be specifically looking for it. And if the phone’s owner wasn’t under any suspicion, why would that person ever bother to ask.

These apps are detectable but someone has to be extremely tech savy to do so. They are hidden from the phone’s UI and app management gateways, which means the phone’s user won’t see the the spyware anywhere on the screen when they’re using the phone. But if they notice small changes in their phone, it’s possible. The number 1 tell tale sign is data usage. Spyware also exports and transfer data at set intervals. If it happens every day and a user isn’t consistently on wifi, they’ll notice a huge, unexplainable spike in data usage. There are several other more technical ways but again I don’t want to bore you guys with this stuff.

Two things: if your job provides you with a cell, there’s a very good chance it’s being spied on in one way or another. Especially if you’re a driver or they have interest in your location for any reason. Companies don’t usually care much about your calls or chats, but your GPS location might be important to them. Also there are much more complex and revealing spywares out there. With respect to iPhones these usually require a jailbreak. That means reprogramming default restrictions on the phone to give yourself the ability to manipulate the core code on the device. With these types of programs the possibilities are endless!!! Everything from listening to calls to remotely turning the camera on and seeing everything the phone points at. These are risky and sometimes inefficient because updating the phone’s software usually overwrites a jailbreak and subsequently deletes the spyware. But there are jailbreaks now that are programmed to fake an update so the user thinks their phone is downloading the latest software, but in reality nothing is happening. After that the rabbit hole only gets deeper. There really isn’t such a thing as limitations in the cyber realm.

[robert angel]

Robert I hope you have talked to your sons about having some kind of standards when it come to the women they date.

Thanks for mentioning that--I've tried, with mixed success. For 14 years, I've literally been showing them the standard, leading by example. But regardless, there's a learning curve...


They see how my wife--{their stepmother) and I took it real slow for 4 years, THEN married. By the time our fiancee visa came through early 2005, they felt like they pretty much knew her already.


After my 1st marriage ended in divorce, I had custody of the boys every Mon., Wed., and then for 3 out of every 4 weekends--so Mon., Wed., Fri., Sat. & Sundays they lived with her and I in our home. So my wife went from walking my younger son to and from school in 2nd grade, to helping him with advanced  (AP) Calculus and Chemistry homework in high school.


And oh, her first real job here was for five years at my younger son's K-8 school, as 'Instructional Support Specialist' where every year she was voted 'Instructional Support Person of the Year." She was such a whirling dervish of positive energy. So tastefully dressed, the hardest worker--put so many other's work ethic to shame--every year chosen "Instructional Support Person of the Year. A lot of people work 30+ years, hoping to win that--and here a young women who had trouble with English won them over, But after accepting it 1st year, she declined the final vote nomination,  as she would've  likely won it again every year. "Other people should have the honor" she told them--so my son knew it was a short wire to "talk to" Mrs. A-- LOL. They never had to. She would've told them to respectfully call his actual biological mom anyway.


That son has it down pretty good. He doesn't feel an intense need to have a girlfriend  (school comes first) and tends to pick girls from his college---UGA, and also from top flight Emory University. He likes girls from excellent academic programs, almost all exotics-- Indian, Latinas, Middle Eastern etc.. He's never brought home an Asian or blonde!! He can break up without anger or drama.

My older son also has impeccable manners, but he tends to pick impossibly beautiful & wealthy blonde haired WASP girls from the local art college, where tuition and basic boarding runs 60K a year. Trust fund princesses, who's parents buy them expensive condos and homes, they have access to personal jets etc--not the college dormitory types. They fall in love too quickly, then crash and burn just as fast. Then he burns their bridge--can't move from intimacy to 'just friends'.. Of course I've tried to coach him, however, he's too stubborn--he's like I was at his age.

When I told him "Son, you could sell refrigerators to Eskimos" he quickly replied, "No Dad, I could sell the devil fire."

My wife put  up with a lotta drama, walking into those two USA boy's lives--a new, very foreign experience for her.

If they'll be any regret in my life, it'll be not having children with this wife. I have zero doubt that she would raise incredibly spectacular children.

BUT--my older son has turned the curve there a bit, he actually just got back together with a GF from about 8 years ago--one I actually liked then and now. But where one son's cool and calculating, the other let's his emotions mess with his heart, balls and brains--but again, he's recently learned the value (practice) of common sense, of not showing his emotions too much, how patience and networking personal connections can be valuable in love and life.


They never said a thing about my wife and my having a huge age gap, but I'm pretty sure that once in high school and even now, their friends were (are)  amazed that she looks hotter than 98% of the girls their own age.


But my wife also leads by example, at home,  in how she's always shined (won promotions) in her work life here--her wonderful kindness, patience and the respect (room) she gives their non communicado biological mother--my ex.


If character and aging well--if having a beautiful wife with that was money, I'd be richer than Bezos, Gates and Buffett combined!


Here's a couple pics from yesterday. I'm just glad that as the years have passed and done their math, that I'm not over half her age anymore.