How to battle severe depression.

[william15011]

This morning I was notified that I was fired.  I was shocked at first, because it was my only income stream, however, teaching in California is ALL political.  I posted pictures on twitter trying to have students see how different cultures commute to work and the mathematics behind it some of the  parents must have "hit" the wall. 


So this morning I am  sitting in my studio apartment staring at a bottle of Gin telling myself drinking that bottle of gin will not help you.  I forced myself to hit the streets to see the Philippines.  After getting on a tri trek with about five different people going different directions I had a thought about why I teach mathematics in the first place and why I decided to take this trip in the first place (if I really liked my job, would I have taken this gamble).  I then thought about being an Actuary (a person that manages the health of banks).  An actuary needs to take about nine tests, however, most if not all actuaries work alone and do so online.  I even thought about taking the test here in the Philippines, however, after going back home and doing some research online, I discovered that you need to take the exams (all nine) using pencil and paper .  So that did not solve my problem of staying here in the Philippines.  So I thought about finding a teaching job and felt that depression coming on again, because I would need to lie in order to live here because every online teaching job requires that teachers work in the state of California (I am a catholic and I hate lying).


So here I am in my studio apartment (a few hours later) in Dumaguete staring at this bottle of gin. I forced myself to get out of there and went to the biggest swimming pool I have ever seen.   I wanted to walk to the pool, however, this guy that had his wife and daughter offered to give me a ride, so myself, the father and the child drove down to the pool (in a motor cycle).  After my third lap (in the swimming pool), I decided that I will  in fact obtain my actuarial degree and also learn tagalog.  I will try hard to convince a bank that I can  work in the Philippines due to speaking there language and working very hard.  It will probably be three years, however, I am on a new quest,


That is how you battle severe depression. 

[Elexpatriado]

You sound very intelegent. A Woody Allen or  Ernest Hemingway type tragic character.
Yeah that Politically Correct stuff sucks. California and Canada gotta be the 2 worst places in the world.Being a teacher is the worst..always under a spot-lite.
I have been in the same position, stress or boredom and you do something self destructive and gets you in trouble or even fired. Better just to sit back, look at the situation and do something rational..like talk to someone counselor or friend for a while, till you get it sorted out, and if necessary, resign your job with dignity. But if you quit normally, you won{t get severance pay (LOL). Thats why my friend did the "psycho" thing once when he was peeved at  a place he worked for 10 years.
Now I am retired and can be as Politically uncorrect as I want. (within reason)
Anyway, looks like you have a good plan. Dont drink to much, things will be okay. Asthey say one door opens when another closes.
Life is great. Every day is special.

[william15011]

On another front.  There is nothing in the contract that I signed that states I can not work in the Philippines (or for that matter in the United States).  I actually re-read the contract before I left and felt I was good to go.   The contract basically states that I need to work 8am to 5pm PST. Are there any lawyers out there?

[Calipro]

That is how you battle severe depression.

I don't know that I have ever been severely depressed.....but if I'm feeling a bit down I call my favorite girlfriend over.....if that doesn't work I go out and find one that does.

[Gato4Astrid]

Maybe you could feel better that you aren't the only one who has severe depression!  I am currently battling against it, except that I do not use alcoholic!    I do not know if it is the depression I am currently experiencing or it is the 'mid-life' crisis.


I am 47 years old.  I might look very young for my age, but my mind isn't.   Living alone at my age sucks, plus time wasters from ladies across the world (Colombia, Ukraine, Mars).  I have lost interested doing my fashion business.  I haven't even started my photography course that I've longed for.  Simply, without a woman, I do not feel the motivation to do anything else.  I simply cannot predict my own future!   Technology world gives me lots of depression!!

[fathertime]

Maybe you could feel better that you aren't the only one who has severe depression!  I am currently battling against it, except that I do not use alcoholic!    I do not know if it is the depression I am currently experiencing or it is the 'mid-life' crisis.


I am 47 years old.  I might look very young for my age, but my mind isn't.   Living alone at my age sucks, plus time wasters from ladies across the world (Colombia, Ukraine, Mars).  I have lost interested doing my fashion business.  I haven't even started my photography course that I've longed for.  Simply, without a woman, I do not feel the motivation to do anything else.  I simply cannot predict my own future!   Technology world gives me lots of depression!!

Well Gato,
If you feel you have to live with a woman than perhaps you should expand your qualifications a bit.   Really it is ok if you make a mistake, and choose one that doesn't last.  It may be far from ideal, but it is still better than being depressed, and never getting on the horse.  Of course I'm not saying make a really stupid choice, but rolling the dice insofar as these international romances is just how it is.  It is your life of course, this is just my opinion, and others don't agree.  Maybe a nice Asian lady could be more your speed.   


Part of your appeal will be your Fashion Business and ability to earn an income, so if you neglect it, that is the equivalent of a woman putting on 100 pounds, you will lose your appeal...so try to not let that happen.


Fathertime!   

[kai #2]

Well Gato,
If you feel you have to live with a woman than perhaps you should expand your qualifications a bit.   Really it is ok if you make a mistake, and choose one that doesn't last.  It may be far from ideal, but it is still better than being depressed, and never getting on the horse.  Of course I'm not saying make a really stupid choice, but rolling the dice insofar as these international romances is just how it is.  It is your life of course, this is just my opinion, and others don't agree.  Maybe a nice Asian lady could be more your speed.   


Part of your appeal will be your Fashion Business and ability to earn an income, so if you neglect it, that is the equivalent of a woman putting on 100 pounds, you will lose your appeal...so try to not let that happen.


Fathertime!

I'm glad you said it and not me. If simply not having a female companion is the only deciding factor that makes or doesn't make you happy. I don't think you're priorities are in order.

[fathertime]

I'm glad you said it and not me. If simply not having a female companion is the only deciding factor that makes or doesn't make you happy. I don't think you're priorities are in order.

Well I do agree that happiness shouldn't be solely in the balance of having a woman around.  I guess it is more critical for some than others though.  In Gato's case, he seems to think that it is very important now.  If that has to be the case, then he should redouble his efforts to improve himself the best he can, after which he should be able to find a woman that meets his needs.  Since nobody here has hung out with Gato, it is hard to determine why he hasn't had the best of luck with the ladies, obviously he is a decent looking guy, but there are lots of other factors.


Fathertime! 

[robert angel]

Pouring alcohol on problems doesn't make them go away. You have to get comfortable in your own skin before you can really make it work with another person. No matter how far or where ever you go, you bring your problems with you.

[Kiltboy1]

Well I do agree that happiness shouldn't be solely in the balance of having a woman around.  I guess it is more critical for some than others though.  In Gato's case, he seems to think that it is very important now.  If that has to be the case, then he should redouble his efforts to improve himself the best he can, after which he should be able to find a woman that meets his needs.  Since nobody here has hung out with Gato, it is hard to determine why he hasn't had the best of luck with the ladies, obviously he is a decent looking guy, but there are lots of other factors.


Fathertime!

Nobody is rooting for Gato more than me BUT his main problem is he seems to be hung up on his deafness and that a non deaf woman would not understand or want him. There are lots of guys with Latinas that speak no or little Spanish and the lady speaks no or little English, but the relationship works.

If she likes you, it is not important the other stuff. Like FT said, better to get on and ride the horse even if you get thrown than never to have got on at all.

As for Williams depression, I like CP's response and being in the PI, well damn, I could get rid of depression really really fast --or slow-or both

[robert angel]

While I've quoted Abraham Lincoln's "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." a number of times, even Lincoln couched his words, including using the word 'most'. While most of us can pull out of being depressed by action--i.e. lifestyle changes, there are some extreme cases, "clinical depression" where the body may even become chemically imbalanced and require professional help.

[utopiacowboy]

Nobody is rooting for Gato more than me BUT his main problem is he seems to be hung up on his deafness and that a non deaf woman would not understand or want him. There are lots of guys with Latinas that speak no or little Spanish and the lady speaks no or little English, but the relationship works.

If she likes you, it is not important the other stuff. Like FT said, better to get on and ride the horse even if you get thrown than never to have got on at all.

As for Williams depression, I like CP's response and being in the PI, well damn, I could get rid of depression really really fast --or slow-or both

Absolutely right. I haven't understood a word my wife has been saying for 12 years now and she doesn't understand any of my mutterings either. It works great!

[mambocowboy]

While I've quoted Abraham Lincoln's "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." a number of times, even Lincoln couched his words, including using the word 'most'. While most of us can pull out of being depressed by action--i.e. lifestyle changes, there are some extreme cases, "clinical depression" where the body may even become chemically imbalanced and require professional help.

The title of Billy's thread is misleading. His depression clearly is in reaction to his circumstances. Some one severely depressed as you say is for organic reason s having to do mostly with brain chemistry.

[AndyLee]

Maybe its just me, but I´m feeling a little sad and a little troubled by the OP.
In my experience depression can be a silent killer. My oldest brother was diagnosed manic depressive many years ago before it was readily accepted that depression is common and that it is treatable. In my brothers case he treated it with alcohol which led to a fatal heart attack at age 54.
My hope is that the OP will seek medical assistance. There are pills for that and they will change your life for the better. If my brother had taken the pills he could have lived another 20 or 30 years, probably happy, or at least not severely depressed.

[kai #2]

Pouring alcohol on problems doesn't make them go away. You have to get comfortable in your own skin before you can really make it work with another person. No matter how far or where ever you go, you bring your problems with you.

Now this is just a flat out lie. I pour alcohol, on everything and haven't been happier lol

[bcc_1_2]

I would suggest reaching out to friends and family.


If you were terminated without proper cause or the proper process wasn't followed you could look into your options there. Or not. If you don't have grounds to do anything you can learn from it and move on. Take it from a guy that works in the sales industry, it is full of rejection and people being dbags. But you learn not to take things personally and move on to the next client.


I would say move on to the next phase of your career. If you don't feel liking drinking with foreign girls, I would not drink alone. I would message a friend and head to the airport (and head home).


This forum is definitely not the place to get answers and support.

[Fosgate5]

Wells Fargo has a hub in Manila. My sister has worked for them for nearly 15 years and I worked there for a little while after college until I found something better. They seem to treat their people well for a bank. I don't know if you have prior military service but they love hiring vets.


https://www.wellsfargo.com/about/careers/international/


https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWebHost/home.aspx?partnerid=25486&siteid=5553


Here is what they posted in that office just since January 1. https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWebHost/searchresults.aspx?SID=^FfoKA9TwgcxddApIOEW3xMKzbPxMOQy0vrpNURpzE06zIzy/4MbQWdKCBIA4pPuF

[william15011]

Thanks for all the advice guys.  It is not clinical depression, I was fired. And I am grieving.  To answer a question from a poster, yes I am seeking legal counsel, no where in the contract I signed stated that I could not work in a foreign country. 

[william15011]

One other thing, I went to mass today (first time in this country).  I feel blessed to have good health with sound mind.  Thanks for everyone's help.

[seattlejoe]

One other thing, I went to mass today (first time in this country).  I feel blessed to have good health with sound mind.  Thanks for everyone's help.

   That is a good thing going to church, how long you been living in the Phils

[Juan Valdez]

I don't know that I have ever been severely depressed.....but if I'm feeling a bit down I call my favorite girlfriend over.....if that doesn't work I go out and find one that does.

+100

Lol

[tyronerobinson]

Getting help from friends and family you love is the best trick to getting over depression and keeping it away. By yourself, it can be hard to keep view of the important things in your life: things that truly used to make you happy and that will again soon. And believe me, reaching out to people when you're down is very difficult when not feeling like yourself, but I guarantee that when you do eventually reach out, half your battle with depression is over and you'll emerge as the winner.