Eh, Shenanigans

[imalways]

I'm a young gun here and would like some advice.


I have been in a relationship with a girl from the Philippines since early August 2010.  This is my first long distance relationship and its been kind of rocky.  I am humble in everything I approach so the language barrier and culture differences are easy to shake.  I visited her in March of this year and we had a good time and I met with her very large family.  It seemed great seeing how I have very little relatives.


She does seem to care about me a lot but there are some things I'm having a little trouble with.  We used to talk every day,  for the first 3 months we did video calls!  I have slowly stopped doing this but we text all the time via the Yahoo I have on my phone.  She can reach me while I'm at work in between repairs and at night when I'm cooking, cleaning, etc. 


We still do Skype calls but not as frequent.  She sometimes get upset and reminds me how we used to do phone calls every day.  Some times when I can't talk she'll ring me 4 times in an hour waiting for me to pick up.  I'll send her an email while I'm at work, she'll reply to it 4 times.


She is very submissive.  She'll cry when she is scolded by her parents, when she listens to a sad song, when her sister gets upset, if her friends are having relationship trouble.  Often it happens in our talks.  She is aware of the language barrier.  Something about this is irking but I try to lift her spirits or make her laugh when it happens.


Just recently we talked about some of these things.  I made it obvious that I was no saint and it was hard for me to handle her approach to obstacles.  I told her I was going to leave my messenger off but would reply to her emails for the next few days since I get distracted easily.  I think she took this as a break up and told me "she told me it was painful", "she felt like killing herself" and "she wouldn't be able to go home after work that day".


So whats going on here?  Am I an insensitive beast or is it a culture thing?

[Ray]

 
She threatened suicide?? How old is this drama queen?
 
That's not the culture but an immature girl with serious emotional issues.
 
Dump her...
 
 

 

[imalways]

Thanks for your input.  The picture is very suitable  .


I know American girls are quite aggressive but I just wasn't sure it was generally the opposite in this case.

[Jeff S]

Hi and welcome.

Yeah - that sounds pretty eerie to me to.

Here's the deal. Never, ever, ever expect someone to change because of you, or some circumstances, or money or anything else. She is what she is and you are what you are. If you can accept their behavior exactly the way it is right now, for the rest of your life than OK, stick with it. If it is unacceptable now, it will be worse when you are married, and when the kids are grown and when you retire and so on. If it sin't acceptable, move on. If they promise they'll change once you marry them, or once this or that happens, you should tell them to change now before you'll consider taking the next step.

I'd give this advice to a woman who is considering the behavior of a man, as well. In truth, women probably need it more than men, because they tend to look at men as projects - something that they can mold into their idea of a good guy. It never works either way, but hope springs eternal.

[piglett]

run not walk to the closest exit
 
there are probably 20 million pinays that would give anything to be your gf/wife so go find one
 
 
 
good luck
piglett

[imalways]

Thanks for your suggestions and input gentlemen.  Its appreciated.

[Dave H]

She threatened suicide?? How old is this drama queen?
 
That's not the culture but an immature girl with serious emotional issues.
 
Dump her...
 

Hey imalways,
 
Welcome to P-L!
 
Yep...she sounds like a young drama queen! But, I will keep checking the bridge by my house to make sure that she doesn't jump off.
 
Good luck!
 
Dave