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Author Topic: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER  (Read 41556 times)

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Offline bcc_1_2

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #225 on: February 18, 2014, 08:54:28 AM »
Look at guys like Jamie who have been there for a while. He's had very bad experiences with former employees, cab drivers, etc. And that's just the stories he's told me.

Yes it does seem like he's not very popular in his city. As a business man I'd say he's no Mr. Congeniality, but it must be a challenge doing business there for any gringo.


I can't tell you how many stories I've heard from gringos about Colombians trying to scam them, and then threatening them after the scam doesn't work out. My question to you BCC is where is the line drawn for you? Are you saying you'd rather give up the money knowing you're being taken because there's a small chance something might happen to you someday because you didn't? That just doesn't make any sense to me.

What I'm saying is the gringo traveling down to meet women should play it safe. We are talking about travelers that are guests in a country trying to date the local population. That's what most of these guys are. They don't have months of experience on the ground and they don't live in Latin America.

You've already noted that the cultural differences make it almost impossible not to rub a few people the wrong way. I'd say all the more reason to keep a low profile.

I'd say at any point you feel scammed just move on. Don't leave an unpaid dinner bill or anything that will ruffle any unnecessary feathers. And if you are made to feel uncomfortable by a threat (even likely baseless) do what you need to do to feel safe. Now if you are staying at a hotel with good security you probably have to do very little. Plus if you just met her she shouldn't know your hotel anyways. But if you've seen her a few times and now she is freaking out on you maybe you do switch hotels in the extreme case.

But yes I'd say drop some cash rather than dine and dash. The more experienced can play it how they like, but the less experienced should play it safe.

 
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Offline benjio

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #226 on: February 18, 2014, 10:40:23 AM »
BCC,


You continue to use the fact that I'm more like a resident as supposed to a vistitor in Latin America just for dating in your arguments, but I can't say you don't have a point each time you use that fact. My perspective and experience here is very different because of that. Well played sir.  ;)

Offline bcc_1_2

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #227 on: February 18, 2014, 11:47:11 AM »
BCC,


You continue to use the fact that I'm more like a resident as supposed to a vistitor in Latin America just for dating in your arguments, but I can't say you don't have a point each time you use that fact. My perspective and experience here is very different because of that. Well played sir.  ;)

Well my first trips to Latin America were not mistake free. I suspect that is true for everyone. So with that in mind I'd focus on safety first. Let's take the newspaper ad for example. At some point you'll have women that don't follow directions. They make excuses that they can't meet you at the predetermined destination and need you to come get them at the central bus terminal or something like that. They make some really good excuse for why you need to come down there in a taxi or something.

Granted from your past responses I have no idea how you'd handle a situation like that, but my response would be to always error on the side of caution. I don't care how hot this girl is I just lose her number and move on to the next one.

But I wasn't always a newbie, and I did learn from those mistakes. I don't suggest having a first meet with chicas over dinner. I would suggest your first couple of days in town be meet and greets. Meet all your contacts quickly. Go out at night and get even more contacts. Buy her a coffee or a drink and that's it. If you click plan something bigger. If not politely get out of there without ruffling feathers.  That's how I operated, and I think it works. You can meet dozens of women without the expense and more importantly you waste a lot less time. 

Hell you can just have designated meeting spots at a mall like Chipichape and just go back and forth meeting women all day. You can vet these women long before they have the chance to hose you.

I have logged a fair amount of time on the ground over the years, and I do have the meeting process figured out. I wish I had a close friend that had done this before me because I see how easy it is for my buddy now with his Tica.

For newbies they've got to get their emotions out of it. So many guys never really see what is out there because they fall in "love" (lust) so quickly. Yes the pickings are much better than back home. This is why a strategy must be developed to vet and sort out these women. Otherwise you find yourself playing these sort of games where your hot date brings along two girlfriends because she doesn't know you.
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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #227 on: February 18, 2014, 11:47:11 AM »

Offline Awesome

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #228 on: February 18, 2014, 03:56:56 PM »
when 'dating' in colombia i can recall a couple times i felt like an atm at suppertime....one spectacular looking gal brought her friend along, unannounced of course...i just paid and left it at that...i can recall another gal that did the same thing...and that 'relationship' went a little farther but ultimately fizzed...i don't miss the extra 10-20 bucks but i do remember having a nice physical time with her a couple times afterwords.   


if i were dating again in colombia and looking for a serious relationship, and I felt this MIGHT occur, i could consider mentioning on the phone to not bring anybody along... if i were dating in colombia and NOT looking for a serious relationship, then I might just have fun with the whole thing... 


it isn't a serious amount of money so my viewpoint is it isn't that important...and it is helpful if it helps weed out a brazen gold digger....maybe the gold digger has some more considerate friends.


Fathertime!




That's exactly how I see it.  I'm not going to flip out over spending an extra 10 or 20 bucks at a meal, especially if it's with some very attractive women.  And in colombia everything's so cheap anyway.


And in benjio's scenario, no freaking way I'm walking out on two beautiful "solid 8's".  I just don't have it in me to do that.  I'm going to buy them all the food and drinks(preferably strong drinks) they want.  And if they're game to reward me for my generosity, I'm going to get ALL my money's worth.  Then I'll mentally move her from the serious wife candidate category into the party girl category and move on with my life.

Offline bcc_1_2

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #229 on: February 18, 2014, 04:13:20 PM »
  I'm not going to flip out over spending an extra 10 or 20 bucks at a meal, especially if it's with some very attractive women. 

And in benjio's scenario, no freaking way I'm walking out on two beautiful "solid 8's".  I just don't have it in me to do that.

This above highlights the difference from taking time off to travel to Latin America versus living in Latin America. Fresh eye candy to you is just downright annoying BS to benjio.

The problem is if you have limited travel time then it actually sucks to spend an evening with women you aren't even considering. You are basically wasting a night. That's okay, but at some point in your travels you get tried of the party as the focus is on finding the right girl.

After getting some experience of my own I'd have to agree with Benjio on cutting it at short as possible. I just wouldn't walk out on the bill. I also wouldn't add to the bill and then walk out. Dropping some cash and saying an emergency came up is one thing, ordering stuff and walking out could really tick those girls off. Are they going to do anything about it? Not likely, but I'd rather not add fuel to the fire. There is absolutely no benefit to me to pad their bill. I'd rather just get out of there and move on to something more productive that night. Even going out for the night alone would be more productive.
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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #230 on: February 18, 2014, 05:10:57 PM »
You go overseas to many places and they just assume you're rich. Never tell them how much money you make, because even if it's a very basic amount, they usually quickly convert into their currency and it's many times more than what someone doing your job there makes. Not realizing the cost of living where you live, they often just assume you're totally loaded and that as such, you should pay for everything. Worse yet, if you don't, some will assume you're a cheap skate.


I don't like being a cheap skate, but I will have to be a cheap skate when necessary.   If she doesn't like, then she isn't serious about relationships with me.     I don't like her doing "take away" everyday because it makes me wonder if she would do that everyday if she ever live with me! 


Lots of people complaint how I could afford to go to Australia when I was a student that time.  By being "cheap skate" is one of the reasons, and also I don't smoke.    The air flight was around £700 back in 1992, as it is almost saving £2 a day for 1 year.   As for accomodation I stayed with a family for 3 whole weeks.   




Offline mambocowboy

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #231 on: February 18, 2014, 05:29:35 PM »

If you spend significant time in a country like Colombia you're going to rub some people the wrong way. It's inevitable. The cultural values of the average gringo are simply too different to live in complete harmony with everyone you associate with. Look at guys like Jamie who have been there for a while. He's had very bad experiences with former employees, cab drivers, etc. And that's just the stories he's told me. I'm not sure if he's ever had his life threatened but there are probably people in Barranquilla that wouldn't flinch at the idea of something bad happening to him. He doesn't let it bother him or turn him into a recluse. You just have to be careful, intelligent and cautious about who you're dealing with.


I can't tell you how many storires I've heard from gringos about Colombians trying to scam them, and then threatening them after the scam doesn't work out. My question to you BCC is where is the line drawn for you? Are you saying you'd rather give up the money knowing you're being taken because there's a small chance something might happen to you someday because you didn't? That just doesn't make any sense to me. From my experience Colombians aren't ignorant to the fact that they aren't entitled to something just because they're telling you they are. Most just accept their attempt to defraud you didn't work and try it on the next poor sap.


I guess you're suggesting that there's a chance I could run into that girl again in Cali, or wherever else and she could have something done to me. I think there's a much greater chance of something randomly happening to me like being robbed and/or shot/stabbed just walking around Colombia. But like I said, I don't let fear drive me. If that were the case I wouldn't have ever gone in the first place. I'm a Texan. We don't tuck tail for anyone!  ;D
I've read most of Jamie's website material and it's pretty spot on in his assessment of the culture in Barranquilla. Personal responsibility, honesty, etc., are rare commodities there. Before my wife came to the States, she'd never once examined her own culture and thought about how crazy some of their cultural norms are. Now she is, but only because she's forced to as she's having to adjust to a different culture over here...

Offline benjio

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #232 on: February 18, 2014, 06:59:27 PM »
I've read most of Jamie's website material and it's pretty spot on in his assessment of the culture in Barranquilla. Personal responsibility, honesty, etc., are rare commodities there. Before my wife came to the States, she'd never once examined her own culture and thought about how crazy some of their cultural norms are. Now she is, but only because she's forced to as she's having to adjust to a different culture over here...


Mambo,


I'd say you've definitely found a winner. Some women just can't make the adjustment and embrace the highlights of a different culture. I think that more than anything else plays a huge factor in many of the relationships that go south once a gringo brings a Latina to the states. Sure there's the difference in age thing and guys that bring over girls that are way out of their league anywhere in the world, but from my experience cultural differences can make or break a marriage to a foreign woman before anything else. I definitely don't want to be included in the large group of Americans with the ethnocentric mindframe that says just because it's the way we do it in the U.S., it's automatically better. That's simply not true in many cases. But for a continent full of people that are blindly devoted to and proud of their nationalities and cultures, most native Latin Americans that have lived abroad for a while have tons of negative things to say about the countries they come from.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2014, 07:06:36 PM by benjio »

Offline robert angel

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #233 on: February 18, 2014, 07:44:17 PM »
I've read most of Jamie's website material and it's pretty spot on in his assessment of the culture in Barranquilla. Personal responsibility, honesty, etc., are rare commodities there. Before my wife came to the States, she'd never once examined her own culture and thought about how crazy some of their cultural norms are. Now she is, but only because she's forced to as she's having to adjust to a different culture over here...

My wife knows that a lot of things are screwed up 'back home' and while she still dearly loves her homeland, she shares that reality with me. But one thing she and her friends don't do is talk badly about their country when they're together, ESPECIALLY when N. Americans are around.

They could be fighting over something between themselves, going at it tooth and nail (them, not my wife, who goes to pains to stay out of the fray) and if some N. American tries to get in the middle, or God forbid, says something about their country, they'll stop fighting amongst one another and attack the 'stranger' in unison!!
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Offline Researcher

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #234 on: February 18, 2014, 08:21:25 PM »

If I were still out there looking and some chick brought another with her I would be tempted to ask if I was now dating both of them or was this just going to be a three way one night stand? Of course it would depend on how the other chick looked but at least we would all have a reason to be insulted.
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Offline mambocowboy

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #235 on: February 18, 2014, 08:35:24 PM »

Mambo,


I'd say you've definitely found a winner. Some women just can't make the adjustment and embrace the highlights of a different culture. I think that more than anything else plays a huge factor in many of the relationships that go south once a gringo brings a Latina to the states. Sure there's the difference in age thing and guys that bring over girls that are way out of their league anywhere in the world, but from my experience cultural differences can make or break a marriage to a foreign woman before anything else. I definitely don't want to be included in the large group of Americans with the ethnocentric mindframe that says just because it's the way we do it in the U.S., it's automatically better. That's simply not true in many cases. But for a continent full of people that are blindly devoted to and proud of their nationalities and cultures, most native Latin Americans that have lived abroad for a while have tons of negative things to say about the countries they come from.
thanks, but we're only 21 months in and constantly facing new challenges, so I'm not able to say we've overcome enough yet... I refuse to let my wife not adapt like some other gringos I've met who enable their wives' not learning English by sending them back to visit Colombia every three months. That is not a healthy way of adapting. Unfortunately, it seems pretty common among the Colombiana-gringo couples I've met...

Offline whitey

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #236 on: February 18, 2014, 08:48:36 PM »
If I were still out there looking and some chick brought another with her I would be tempted to ask if I was now dating both of them or was this just going to be a three way one night stand? Of course it would depend on how the other chick looked but at least we would all have a reason to be insulted.


Now that's the best response I've heard yet!
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Offline fathertime

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #237 on: February 18, 2014, 09:25:58 PM »

FT,

I honestly don't think she was trying to scam me. It was just a bad decision on her part. I actually believe she genuinely liked me and wanted me to meet her family. She was a very nice, pretty girl, and if a gringo asked me about her today I wouldn't have a bad thing to say. She was just moving too fast. I've bought meals in nice restaurants for plenty of groups of friends and associates in Colombia. Just not women I hardly know and their families. By telling that story I was just trying to show that I'm not some heartless prick leaving girls with restaurant tabs to pay all over Latin America. There's a difference between those trying to scam and take advantage of gringos and those that assume there's no limit to the gringo pocket book and we're automatically willing to crack it open for anyone we associate with.


Hey Benjio,

As I reflect on my own early adulthood...I can now see many many utterly stupid misjudgments that I made.  I'd say that many of the young Colombian ladies are bound to make many mistakes of their own...especially those that are not used to going out on dates with a foreigner.  Despite being a nerdy IT geek, ;D you probably have quite a few female options, and that enables you to be choosy with the ladies you continue to see for more than a date or two.  Although the lady from your story committed quite a faux pas, I might have looked passed it if I thought she was very interested in me...and since you seem to have good sense I am guessing so would you if you were totally into her...so i'm concluding that this particular girl probably didn't have what it took to completely capture your imagination...to the point that you would discontinue with dating other ladies.  So if I read it correctly it was more that she wasn't head and shoulders about the other ladies, more than the faux pas she committed at dinner.   

Regardless, it sounds like a generally fun time you are having.   

Fathertime! 
09/08 saw morena goddess on Jamie's website
09/08Began writing/webcamming future wife
10/08Visited BAQ to meet future wife
12/08 Visited a second time and got engaged
01/09 Visa Paperwork done(williamIII)
02/09quickvisit BAQ
08/09Wife arrives
09/09Got married
11/10 son born

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #237 on: February 18, 2014, 09:25:58 PM »

Offline benjio

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #238 on: February 19, 2014, 01:25:43 AM »

Hey Benjio,

As I reflect on my own early adulthood...I can now see many many utterly stupid misjudgments that I made.  I'd say that many of the young Colombian ladies are bound to make many mistakes of their own...especially those that are not used to going out on dates with a foreigner.  Despite being a nerdy IT geek, ;D you probably have quite a few female options, and that enables you to be choosy with the ladies you continue to see for more than a date or two.  Although the lady from your story committed quite a faux pas, I might have looked passed it if I thought she was very interested in me...and since you seem to have good sense I am guessing so would you if you were totally into her...so i'm concluding that this particular girl probably didn't have what it took to completely capture your imagination...to the point that you would discontinue with dating other ladies.  So if I read it correctly it was more that she wasn't head and shoulders about the other ladies, more than the faux pas she committed at dinner.   

Regardless, it sounds like a generally fun time you are having.   

Fathertime! 


I met my current girlfriend during the same trip so yes, you are absolutely right. The dinner situation was not the only reason things didn't progress between us.

Offline moneyrone

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #239 on: February 19, 2014, 04:47:33 PM »
.
I think one of the ingredients to having a stronger will and esteem, is to find a girl that's not overwhelmingly attractive so as to affect the big head's thought process. If she feels you could leave her for another woman, you've got control. It sounds mean, but there's only room for one alpha in the relationship. This BS about 50-50 is crap made up by bra burning 60s women, and we're not interested in them.


I so agree with this.
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #240 on: February 19, 2014, 05:14:02 PM »
Not sure I do.That philosophy works good if your with someone in Colombia, but in the US even the fat ugly trolls have you over a barrel. With the divorce
Laws the way they are so easy for anyone to take the man to the cleaners.

I so agree with this.

Offline moneyrone

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #241 on: February 19, 2014, 05:44:38 PM »
Not sure I do.That philosophy works good if your with someone in Colombia, but in the US even the fat ugly trolls have you over a barrel. With the divorce
Laws the way they are so easy for anyone to take the man to the cleaners.


I agree. That's why I would never marry a woman in this country. I believe that's why some women in this country try so hard to get married or have kids {they gain all power}. I not saying ALL women are like this, however, as you stated, the divorce laws are not in our favor. I guess I should have clarified my statement by saying, I believe that philosophy works when you are not married or depended on a woman in this country {it has for me}. If I was to marry a woman abroad, I would be very hesitant to bring her here.
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #242 on: February 20, 2014, 10:28:18 AM »
Are you sure your not my clone?
 
I think after you are married or are common law for several years, and have kids and are sure in the relationship, it may be OK to take er to your own country- assuming she wanyts to go. And visitor visas are always OK.
 

I agree. That's why I would never marry a woman in this country. I believe that's why some women in this country try so hard to get married or have kids {they gain all power}. I not saying ALL women are like this, however, as you stated, the divorce laws are not in our favor. I guess I should have clarified my statement by saying, I believe that philosophy works when you are not married or depended on a woman in this country {it has for me}. If I was to marry a woman abroad, I would be very hesitant to bring her here.

Offline robert angel

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #243 on: October 15, 2016, 08:48:02 PM »
Hasn't really been common, in fact I don't recall us doing it at all, but I think some posts like the one below, warrant occasional reposting to remind us, or for the new guys, to show them how it goes all too often. There's more valuable info from this thread, some valuable lessons to be learned from Jason's Peruvian bride disaster and from a whole lot of other guy's mishaps. And these are not stupid guys. I think it's our duty to try and recall them and bring them back from time to time. It's public domain---all in the achives here.

The sad reality is (I think) that things often don't work out well as often as they work out badly. That said, the guys who take the time and apply sound methodology have a better track record. As for me, I've just been dumb stupid lucky, Forest Gumping my way through life. Sure I had a rough marriage before, but if anyone who knew me when I was younger was told I'd end up finishing college plus a couple graduate programs, then get a job I've kept for decades, plus ended up with a wonderful, younger, exotically beautiful wife, they'd say 'that's so ridiculous it's hilarious!"

I'm still waiting for the other shoe to fall.....


I am posting this more to help the guys with thier future girls and adventures or searches...  I think that it is stated time and time again guys but hear my story so you dont make the same mistakes I did.  I have recently called off my engagement to my girl due to the fact I allowed her to grow into a monster.  I dismissed many warning signs such as getting in fist fights with her sister over a pen... Telling me i needed to drop a conference call at work so she could argue with me over insignificant stuff... 

However looking back I think I caused it by sending her money...  I started with just small things but it grows and grows into this beast that has an insatiable appetite for more...  I swear toward the end her hand was always out.  To give you an idea she was getting over 600 a month... She tried to tell me that she thinks she had life better making her 120k pesos a week so 500 a month over what I was sending her.  I offered to let her go back to that life cause I would love to get some new movies for my collection and other things.  She quickly declined on that. 

My red flags came out before the 2nd trip when the stress she was putting me through put me in the hospital overnight and sent home with a catheter.  All she was worried about was how fast I could get back to the gym and if the was going to ruin the trip I was to take down there in November.  I recovered in time to go but I still was not quite myself as far as strength and energy.  While down there she was staying with me in my hotel.  She got really drunk and verbally abusive one night.  Because I have had my issue in the past with domestic violence over an argument I wanted nothing to do with the moment and was going to call her a cab to go home so I did not have to deal with local authorities.   She threw a wine bottle at me missed me but damaged the floor... The broke the two wine glasses over her head not causing damage.  At that point I was like I had to get outta here I went to go sit in the lobby and she ripped my shorts off and told me to get back here and [snip] her like a man...  I told her I would stay but please go to sleep.  She climbed in my face and tried to get me to hit her.  I never did.  I finally was allowed to go to sleep.   I am sure I owned my part as I try to laugh my way out of situations that get uncomfortable and all and that pissed her off more. 

And a friend of mine said all problems in marriage are 50 / 50. So please do not think I am playing a victim here.  I am only sharing what I went through so others know that they dont have to put up with it.  I am not going to try again as I am seeing that there's so much dependency on your life that going to work became a task in itself.  I write this as my learning experience and warning that if a girl loves you she will not need your money to survive the 6 month process of waiting for a visa.  I mean yes pay for all the stuff for her visa but when the guys tell you that she managed to live 20 something years on thier own in that infotainment they will make it another 4 to six months waiting for the visa. 

Another thing I learned is 20 something is 20 something maybe I got the most immature girl out there but I think the younger girls and thier head in the clouds behavior is beyond what I could be into.  If your not into asinine silly behavior listen to what you learned in life date something 28 to 30 something.  I didnot enjoy having to finish raising a teen age daughter again. If your gonna do this know yourself.. know you limits and dont let people convince you of difference. 

When they tell you to go on a 2nd trip before making the final commitment... do so.  You see alot of stuff you don't originally when the birds and star dust is out with new romance.  I am not jaded or bitter toward my experience but I do lend all new guys my previous words of caution. 

I would endorce Jamie's services if asked about them. 

I just think this process is high risk high reward. Do your homework while you are there dont be afraid to ask the tough questions.  If a girl gets offended then let her go.  You are about to be financially responsible for her for the next 10 years.  If she wont be open with you then she ain't worth it.  I have a ton of regrets at this point as to why I did not give more time with a couple of girls that were sweet and beautiful.. if you go through the process save the money to take a longer stay... I was there for like 2 weeks.  It was not enough time.  I would wanna be there for amonth if I were to try again. 

This year I am thinking Alaska would be nice.  Not for a date but for vacation.  Best of luck to you all and hope my story helps at least one guy thinking of how todo the process.
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Offline Jedimaster

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #244 on: October 16, 2016, 06:44:18 PM »
"The sad reality is (I think) that things often don't work out well as often as they work out badly "  Robert Angel
[/size]
[/size]Robert,
[/size]
I totally agree.  I personally know  three guys who ended up giving up on their search for a wife/novia in Colombia.  And while their trips to Colombia werent total train wrecks, it does go to show that the search for a wife/novia in Colombia isnt the total piece of cake that certain cheerleaders (AB and others) have made it out to be.

I also agree with the idea of occasionally bumping a thread like this one for several reasons.  First of all there are a lot of guys (including the 3 I mentioned) who will not post on forums like this one for reasons of embarassment, pride, etc.  And because of that and the fact that historically we have had cheerleaders and phonies (Kontra, etc) go on and on about how easy it is to find love in Colombia we end with an unbalanced forum.  So newbies here get an unrealistic picture of the difficulty involved and the resources needed to go through with the process.

And as you pointed out before there is a lot of valuable info and valuable lessons to be learned from these dissaster stories.

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #245 on: October 17, 2016, 09:05:05 PM »
Yeah..and what about the guys who marry a Colombiana, have a kid, and 3 or 4 years later find out the kid aint his .


(Kinda like he Kayne West Gold digger song).





Offline Ray

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #246 on: October 18, 2016, 03:12:27 PM »
"The sad reality is (I think) that things often don't work out well as often as they work out badly "  Robert Angel
[/size]
[/size]Robert,
[/size]
I totally agree.  I personally know  three guys who ended up giving up on their search for a wife/novia in Colombia.  And while their trips to Colombia werent total train wrecks, it does go to show that the search for a wife/novia in Colombia isnt the total piece of cake that certain cheerleaders (AB and others) have made it out to be.

I also agree with the idea of occasionally bumping a thread like this one for several reasons.  First of all there are a lot of guys (including the 3 I mentioned) who will not post on forums like this one for reasons of embarassment, pride, etc.  And because of that and the fact that historically we have had cheerleaders and phonies (Kontra, etc) go on and on about how easy it is to find love in Colombia we end with an unbalanced forum.  So newbies here get an unrealistic picture of the difficulty involved and the resources needed to go through with the process.

And as you pointed out before there is a lot of valuable info and valuable lessons to be learned from these dissaster stories.

Whoa!

Is that AB as in Alabama Boy? He never portrayed his Colombian quest as a piece of cake to my recollection, but quite the opposite in fact.


Ray


Offline John W

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #247 on: October 18, 2016, 04:27:59 PM »
Whoa!

Is that AB as in Alabama Boy? He never portrayed his Colombian quest as a piece of cake to my recollection, but quite the opposite in fact.


Ray


I have to agree on this.  AB never portrayed the Colombian wife process as easy.  He sent his wife back to Colombia because she was not learning English and refiled a K-1 later after she was making progress back in Colombia!  He has written that he is happy with his marriage and how things are going now, but he never portrayed the process as a "piece of cake."

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #247 on: October 18, 2016, 04:27:59 PM »

Offline robert angel

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #248 on: October 18, 2016, 06:38:11 PM »
Ray's right--AB's journey was no smooth cruise, but he stuck to his guns--as I recall, to non negotiables he stated early on especially on acquiring English language proficiency and it seems it was worth his while--that he's happy with his wife and family--sounds like they all are--they worked the work.

I felt bad, because I gave him a lot of grief during the midst of the rougher times, but he got it right alright, staying the course he set out.

Lessons there to be learned certainly also, but far from the typical.

BTW, Ray--your still not getting a Christmas card from me---I don't have your address....LOL ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Offline Fuzzyone

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Re: SENDING MONEY CREATES A MONSTER
« Reply #249 on: October 21, 2016, 05:20:32 AM »
 As I remember AB's wife was pregnant when he sent her back to Colombia right?

 

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